Monday Moaning

Cleveland is thrilled this morning...I'm happy for them...I'm happy for Cavaliers fans...I'm happy for the people who never paid attention to basketball but jumped on the 'we have a chance' bandwagon...I'm happy for the people who think some mythical curse was broken Sunday night...There was no curse...There was bad luck, better teams, and piss-poor management (just look at the Browns)....

I have never been a Basketball fan...I've never been a Cavs fan...I've never been a LeBron James fan...Hell, I'm more of a LeBron James the actor in "Train-wreck" then I am of the basketball player....So I didn't jump on the bandwagon during this run...And I'm not going to write some bullshit post like I'm Johnny Fucking Cleveland Cavalier Fan...I respect the true fans too much...I respect my hometown too much...And I respect myself...So I'm not going to sing the praises of the LBJ and Kyrie Irving, and the rest of the Cavaliers, like I have some fucking clue about the games I didn't watch...

I'm happy friends and family and fans are excited and happy...The big win had no impact on me...The AHL Lake Erie Monsters Calder Cup win was a bigger deal to me...If the Tribe takes the World Series this year...Then you may see me lose my shit...

Quickly after the win... The wonderful world of Social Media annoyed me...As the WKYC Facebook feed asked: "What Does this Championship mean to you?"

The top comment stated this:   "It means OUR CITY is FINALLY Validated!!!"

Again, Cleveland friends and fans, I'm happy for ya...But this guy is a fucking asshole... If it takes a sports team to validate a city for you, I feel very sad for you...I would think it would give greater validation if the city's schools were the best in the country, or if the unemployment rate was at record low, and the average income at record high...

I know the History of Cleveland and Cleveland sports...The first 40 years of my life are all in Cleveland...I suffered the same painful fandom losses...It sucked...But losing sports teams never made me feel like the city was a steaming pile of shit...The steaming pile of shit in Lake Erie could give that impression for you...The city of Cleveland has great Universities...Great Hospitals...An amazing and underrated food and restaurant scene...It's always had a great music scene, and performing arts...The Art Museum is unfucking real...

There are plenty of great things that should have validated the city for you...Millionaires winning a championship with your city's name on their uniform should not be what makes you think your city is worth a damn...

What the city and it's people do as a whole makes it what it is, not a team of rich guys that live there because of their paychecks...

I'm glad you're happy Cleveland fans...I'm proud to say I'm from Cleveland...And I'm proud you crazy fuckers didn't burn the whole mother fucker down...We all know how easily the river lights up!


Have a week.... 

 

Monday Moaning

There's a lot shit going on in the "news" and it's all pretty fucking annoying to me....I truly, honestly, don't give a damn about Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner...I'm all for people being happy with who they are, you want to change your sex, go ahead...I've always supported equals rights for EVERYONE...That includes celebritards who are fucking media whores...Do what you want, I just don't give shit...I won't be watching your fucking show, and I won't be following you on Twitter...

Then there was a lot of stink, because the super media whore factory ESPN, has decided to give Jenner their big Arthur Ashe award at their annual 'Let's pat ourselves on our backs' award show, The Espy's...The laundry list of athletes more worthy was widely reported...ESPN doesn't care, they are looking at selling ad time because they will be hyping the drama of seeing a former male, U.S. Olympic gold medalist, wearing a lovely evening gown...I have never watched the Espy's and I won't this year...

Next pile of shit I don't care about...These fucking Duggar people...Holy fucking shit...The Television industry should be ashamed of itself already...All this so-called "Reality TV" bullshit is such fucking nonsense....These fuckers have '19 Kids and Counting"...That's the name of their show...I've never watched, because I'm not fucking idiot...But I looked into them a bit after the news about their one asshole son broke...These people are full-blown-bat-shit-crazy!  Just fucked in the head...Then it comes out there one son has molested multiple girls...Including two of their daughters, HIS SISTERS!...They covered it up...They tried to "get him help"...The father even went to try to justify it by saying he did most of his molesting, "Over the clothes".....These fuckers can't die fast enough!  I'm still trying to figure out why the parents aren't in jail for covering it up...

Then I saw family members blaming the media for leaking the story out there, and 'Doing this to our lives." Really cunts!?!  You put your idiot life on TV...You have no problem with the media paying your fucking bills, to feed all those fucking mouths, but now the media is evil!  Again, these people can't die fast enough!

-Okay, I feel better...

Now, I live in Cleveland, but I have made it clear over the years that I don't like or follow basketball...And I have made it clear over the years, that I don't like LeBron James at all...(Long before "The Decision" I wrote about my distain for him)...So the Cavaliers are in the Finals, but I'm not willing to be Johnny Bandwagon...I'm not going to suddenly write like I know something about Basketball...I'm not even watching....If the Cavs win, I will not celebrate it, I won't suddenly be wearing Cavs gear...I will be happy for my friends who support the Cavs, but I'll stay true to myself, and remain not a basketball fan, and a LeBron James fan...

I did hear about the Kyrie Irving injury, and I saw the entire national media basically say that the Cavaliers have no chance...All I will say about this America, and Cleveland....The National Media is wrong more often then they are right...Just look to Vegas kids...Since the Irving broke his knee-cap, and media put the nail in the Cavs coffin, there has been a lot more money in Vegas being put on James and the Cavaliers...I put more stock in what the books are saying then the media....

-Saturday, American Pharoah won the Belmont Stakes, and completed the Triple Crown...The first time in 37 years....I'll be honest, I'm a cynical bastard...I had my money Frosted...I had American Pharoah coming in second...I mean shit, There have been a bunch of Triple Crown hopefuls in my lifetime, and I have seen them all fail...And while watching the Kentucky Derby, I really like how Frosted closed...I told my wife that day, "Frosted will win at Belmont."  Well, fuck me, I was wrong...

As they came around the last turn Frosted had started charging from the back, and was quickly in second coming down the stretch...Pharoah had been leading the whole way...Frosted was surging...But some how, American Pharoah just kept cruising...The horse just ran a smooth race, and finished five and a half lengths ahead of Frosted...The horse didn't even look tired...

Now American Pharoah, as long as his owners aren't stupid, is looking forward to a wonderful life...They shouldn't run this horse again...Don't even take a chance at a loss, or an injury...Just put him out to Stud... a life a relaxation, eating, and fucking! (Ahhhh, my dream!)  That's gonna be some expensive sperm!

-The Stanley Cup Finals were evened up Saturday as Tampa Bay pulled out the win...They seemed to push the tempo most of the game...The Strangest part of the game was Lightning goalie Ben Bishop coming out of the game twice in the third period...The second time for good...20 year old Andrei Vasilevsky filled the relief role well...He was tested heavily, and held the lead his team gave him...

The Lightning are not saying what caused Bishop to leave the game, and they are not saying who will start game 3 Monday night in Chicago...Some have speculated that it was a leg injury after Bishop was run into by Antoine Vermette...There are others that are speculating that Bishop had a case of the green apple splatters, and couldn't hold it...Vasilevsky looked calm in relief, and is a highly touted young goalie...And considering the inconsistent play of Blackhawks goalie Corey Crawford, I'm not sure if it matters if either team needs to go with a their backup goalie...

That's it for now...

Have a week.

Monday Moaning

Okay Cleveland...You had your fun...You had your excitement...Now it's time for your friendly wake up call...It's time to relax Cleveland...

Hey...Listen up...I said relax!

What part of relax don't you understand...Well maybe you two can have a few more minutes....

So why am I telling Cleveland to relax...Because this city went bat-shit crazy over LeBron James deciding to sign with the Cavaliers...And him and his sweet, well thought-out essay he co-wrote with a Sports Illustrated hack...Yeah, it was well written...It was good...But these dopes in the media act like he woke up Friday morning and did that shit...He had been working with this SI guy, Lee Jenkins for a couple weeks...Seriously, dude said so in an interview on Mad Dag Radio...All last week, the sports media world was talking about 2 things...Johnny Manziel possibly doing blow...and "Where will LeBron sign?"  James played the media last week as well as he plays basketball...

And Cleveland...This is my hometown...As much as I rag on it, I love this bitch...But this city disappointed me with their begging for James to come back...Just 4 years earlier so many of them were mother-fucking him...Me, I had been trashing him for a good 3 years before that...But it was nice to not be alone anymore...But last week, they were swinging on his nuts again...And those dopes on WKNR....Go find that audio...These two clowns, when the news broke, you could hear them cumming and crying while they squealed like little school girls...I wanted to puke in my cheerios...

So Cleveland was thrilled with the news...People who burned jerseys 4 years ago were heading to the store to get a new one...Whatever tool-bag...But I finally was completely sickened, and embarrassed by my city, when multiple people in the local media, besides the average joe idiots said, "This is one of the greatest days, possibly the greatest in Cleveland Sports History!"

Are you for fucking real? Seriously, you cover sports in this city and you said that Jim Donavan? Oh he wasn't alone...A fuck-ton of his fellow media members said this shit...How about you idiots read a fucking book!  Shit, Google something other then LeBron James!

I know the Browns have sucked balls for ages, but they were the shit many years ago...8 League Championships...AAFC Championships (4)  1946, 1947, 1948, and 1949...NFL Championships (4)  1950, 1954, 1955, and 1964...Jesus Christ, one of your "Journalism" brothers that this area loves so much, Terry Pluto wrote a book titled "When All the World was Browns Town"

What the hell is the matter with you assholes?

Yeah, the Indians have only won two Worlds Series, but shit that 1948 team was stellar...And I think Larry Doby being the first black player in the AL, just a couple months after Jackie Robinson broke in, would rank higher then James signing with the Cavs...What about Frank Robinson being the first black manager in baseball...With the Indians...Oh, and in his first at-bat as player manager, he just hit a HR...Thats' not fucking sweet at all right...

If you really think a player signing to your local team is the greatest sports moment ever, then you need to walk away from sports...

Cleveland fans for years have patted themselves on the back for being such loyal and devoted fans...(I would consider the 455 straight sellouts at Jacobs Field to be a bigger deal)...The national media also from time to time talk about the great fans in Cleveland...What made Clevelanders so tough and loyal?

It was all the downs...Not the few and far between ups...Not the highs, but the lows...The fucking Drive...The fumble, that made me cry...Jordan's jumper over Ehlo...Red-Right-88...The '95 Indians losing to the Braves...The Braves who couldn't even sellout for their playoff games...The '97 Indians, a cock-strong team, one out away...Beaten by a Marlins team that was rented, and sold off weeks later...Yeah, that one hurt like a bitch...How about my Dad seeing the '54 Indians, one of Baseball's best teams ever, lose it to the Giants...

It's those painful moments, that made Clevelanders tough...After those defeats, Cleveland came back to the respective stadiums, and rooted for their teams...Clevelanders didn't take off Chief Wahoo cap...They didn't say fuck it, and throw away there Browns gear and sell their season tickets...They were right back there next year with that stupid dag mask on, throwing dog biscuits at opposing players...

In my opinion, those losses are great Cleveland Sports moments, because we didn't burn the city down and riot like Vancouver...We took it on the chin, and came back for more...The Cleveland that I love would have never begged a guy to come back, and wouldn't have acted so insane if he did...The Cleveland I love would not be going crazy for an egotistical rookie QB who parties constantly and acts like an ass...I understand...Clevelanders are thirsty for a winner...Thirsty for positive coverage in this town...I hope we see it...But we're better than this...


I'll leave you with this...

Have a week....

The Beeze.

A Rare View from Cleveland

Wednesday night news broke that Art Modell was gravely ill...I had posted on Facebook when the news broke, "Art Modell is "gravely ill" is the lead local news story...How many Clevelanders first response was a slight grin?"

By morning he was dead...Through the night, and all day Thursday, there were plenty of people admitting to being happy Modell had died...Even those who don't wish death on people, were still glad he had died...Clevelanders take what happened to their Browns very personally...And that's fine...I know I was pissed when Modell moved the Browns to Baltimore...But as time has gone on, and I looked at the whole picture, I don't have that same hate for Art Modell, that most Clevelanders do...Yep, you're about to witness a guy from Cleveland, defend Art Modell's legacy...

Back in the day, The Cleveland Indians sucked...But their owner knew how Cleveland loves it's sports teams...They also knew that city leaders were tired of the "Mistake by the Lake" jokes...So for a couple years, Dick Jacobs kept threatening to move the Indians...The City decided to give Jacobs what he wanted...His own stadium...Completely funded by the public...All Jacobs paid for was the sign that put his name on the place...

The City officials also thought this would be even better if they could get the Cavs to move back to downtown Cleveland, instead of playing in the sticks of Richfield...So they build Gordon Gund's Cavaliers a new arena right next to Jacobs field...Again, Gund, that blind bastard, only paid to put his name on the place...The city was all a buzz about what was dubbed, "The Gateway District"...This shit was going to bring us back!

Modell, who's Browns always sold out the 70,000 plus Municipal Stadium, waited patiently...He had just lost his tenant, the Indians...The Stadium was old, and surely the City would take care of their number one draw...But they didn't...Eventually Modell had to go to the mayor...He never went to the media like Jacobs, and made repeated threats to move...The city officials made it clear that there was no way they could afford to give him a sweet deal, and new home, like they did for the Indians and Cavaliers...Modell, was losing money...No one in Cleveland fought for him or the Browns...He was in debt,and got an offer from football starved Baltimore...We always hear about sports being a business...Well, Modell made the smart business move, and took HIS team to Baltimore...

In 1995 Modell told The Wall Street Journal, "The reason I'm taking so much heat now is every politician is covering his backside for failing to do anything at all. They took me for granted."

Yes they did...It wasn't until news broke that Modell was moving the team to Baltimore, that people finally took action...All the sudden the fans spoke up...Suddenly elected officials were trying to do something...Too little, too late...All this time fans have been pissed at Modell...They've had nothing but hate for him, when really they should have taken that out the mayor, councilmen, and the media, who cried to save the Indians, but didn't say anything about taking care of the Browns until they were already packing up...

And while Art is hated in Cleveland, he deserves the praise he is getting from around the country...He is one of the few key people, who made the NFL what it is today...He Pushed for the NFL/AFL merger, and he and Pete Rozelle were the visionaries that saw that TV was where Football had to go...Modell almost single-handedly strong armed his fellow owners into the first TV contract...Letting them know, that if they really wanted to make the money that they dreamed of, that TV was going to get them there...And then later, it was Modell, who strong armed the Networks into ponying up the BIG money, to put the NFL on their airwaves...You can also thank Art for Monday Night Football....

There are mountains of NFL history that couldn't have been written had it not been for Art Modell...The man belongs in the Hall of Fame...And Cleveland, he also deserves some respect for the countless acts of charity he contributed to during his life in here...

After much talk about the NFL having Modell Honored with a moment of silence before this Sunday's games, The Modell family has asked The Cleveland Browns to not pay him any Honor...The Browns were planning to keep it short, knowing the fan reaction would be bad...This takes any worry off the Browns...But it bothers me that pretty much everyone in the world knows that, a moment of silence to pay respect to one of the men that built the NFL into the monster it is, would be greeted in Browns Stadium with a chorus of boooo's...

This may be odd for a sports blogger to write...But it's just a football team people...There is really so much more to life, then to carry that kind of hate around for all these years.

Fuck Pittsburgh!

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Just to warn you now...This is not going to be a friendly edition of Monday Moaning...If the opening pic doesn't sum it it up for you, this week's theme is FUCK YOU! And the First one is a BIG FUCK YOU...2 for 1 actually...

FUCK YOU Jerry Sandusky, you kid touching, fucking scum bag...You can't die soon enough...Saturday, Sandusky was charged by a Pennsylvania grand jury with multiple counts of "deviate sexual intercourse, corruption of minors, endangering the welfare of a child, indecent assault," and more, after a three-year investigation by state police...You fucking bastard! Seriously, my dream job is to be able to kill pieces of shit like Sandusky...

Oh, and I promised 2 for 1...Joe Paterno, you stupid, old, overrated, asshole...FUCK YOU! Why you ask...In 2002 a former graduate assistant told Paterno of a potential sexual assault of a 10year old boy inside the Penn State locker room by Sandusky...At that time Sandusky was Penn State's defensive coordinator...Paterno passed it along to his AD, but never bothered to look into it himself, or follow up on any possible investigation...Nothing was done...Nothing, and Sandusky had 9 more years to freely prey on kids...So Fuck You Joe Paterno...

There is no reason for a 58 year old man and a 10 year old boy to be in that situation...A possible sexual assault of a minor occurring inside Paterno’s locker room, by an assistant coach...And he did nothing! All you people who love Paterno so much, and go on and on about how great he is, and what a high standard he upholds, please....Please fucking, try to defend him now....Fuck You too!

Before I just hated you because I thought you were overrated...Real coaches don't collect their wins in the booth, you tired old fuck...Nevermind it was clear ten years ago, that the game was starting to pass you by...And in the past 5 years, it's clear that your assistants have been carrying you, and your cunty legacy...And now that legacy includes you having a kid toucher on your staff, and when you found out about it, you didn't do shit...Please fall down some stairs and die already!

Next...FUCK YOU to the Cleveland Browns....Last week I had a talk with BROWNS_FANS...And after Sunday, I think more might start drinking what I'm spilling...

Fuck You Pat Shurmur...His offense sucks...He can't manage his team, his coaches...Shit he can't manage the clock...He constantly goes into the half, and goes home with his time-outs in his pocket...Fuck McCoy...No really, somebody fuck him...Poor bastard spent another Sunday running for his life...So yeah, Fuck the O-Line...I'm not sold on McCoy, his arm looks weak, but like I said, dude is always running, or on his back...

This tweet from some gash, Browns beat reporter summed up Sunday's game...#Texans rookie LB Brooks Reed who had two sacks, three qb hits on #Browns QB colt McCoy: "I couldn't believe they weren't blocking me.''

Fuck You Holmgren....Fat bastard just sitting in his suite, stuffing his face, and laughing that he's got a $10 million contract to run this mess...Just walks around and shows his Super Bowl ring, and thinks he's put in a day of work...

And Fuck all the Peyton Hillis Bullshit!

FUCK You LeCharles_Bentley!

FUCK the great big hype machine, that talked us all into thinking Saturday's LSU vs. Alabama game was going to be the biggest, greatest, most exciting game we would ever see in years...IT WASN'T!!! He fucking sucked...It sucked like a girl with a sandpaper tongue!

Luckily, there was hockey (god bless center ice) and a much more exciting high school game on to watch...

FUCK YOU Ray Lewis! This camera hungry asshole gets away with being an accessory to murder, and then every fucking week I gotta see him giving his moronic pre-game speeches to his idiot fucking teammates...All these cock-suckers talking about a football game being a war...Could the military please take Ray Lewis into custody, fly him overseas, and drop his ass in Afghanistan's Korengal Valley...The fucking asshole would be crying for his mother after day one...

FUCK YOU Burntwood Tavern, who over-cooked my Lamb Chops, and burnt my root vegetables Friday night...The other stuff was good, and the wife blew me on the way home so, they'll get a mostly good review...

So this post has been all negative, except the blow job Friday night...So let's end on a bright note...Me an Ms. Molly have been taking advantage of the oddly nice weather, and hitting the park...


She's lovin' the swings...


And I love that smile....

See, I don't fucking hate everyone!

Have a week....

Later, The Beeze.

Hey Cleveland!

I just wanted to make something clear...CLEVELAND, you didn't win anything! The Cavs didn't win shit, except for the draft lottery...There's no trophy or banner coming to The Q...The Dallas Mavericks beat stupid LeBron James and the Miami Heat...You CLEVELANDERS, and the Cavs didn't do shit!

Leave their logo alone, and give them the credit and respect they deserve...And you assholes who had the parade with 12 people in it, you're all fucking retarded...I can't believe the local news actually put you fucktards on the TV...You all should be fucking embarrassed!

Again, CLEVELAND didn't win shit!

Shut the Fuck up!

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Welcome again to Monday...Since Spring Training is getting underway, there has been a lot of blogs being posted about Baseball again...People are getting geared up for Baseball season...Me, I'm having trouble...One reason, Hockey season is going strong, the trade deadline is approaching, and teams are making their push towards the Playoffs...

The second reason I'm not fired up about Baseball...I live in Cleveland! We like snow with our Opening Day, and I'm sick of snow, as I look out the window, and see more falling...But even more than that...The Indians sucked last year...And guess what, they're going to suck this year too...This off-season, the big acquisition was signing aging infielder, Orlando Cabrera...Yeah, he's a decent guy to have on the roster, but this team already has 5 middle infielders...You see, GM Mark Shapiro is obsessed with utility players...Well a team full of those guys doesn't cut it...

Then there is the pitching staff...All young...All potential...Fausto Carmona is the "Ace" of the staff...He's got some good stuff, but he's young, and has had a tendency to be wild...After that it is a pack of unproven guys, that we've been told have lots of potential...Year after year this franchise has had loads of potential, and just when a number of those guys are reaching that potential, they are traded away...

Now most people in this town blame ownership, and say he's cheap...The few defenders will point out how he isn't cheap, that the Tribe overpaid Travis Hafner, and Jake Westbrook, and signed a worn out Kerry Wood...So then I guess he's stupid...Actually yes...Larry Dolan is stupid, because he has put all his trust and faith into GM/President Mark Shapiro, and he has done with his money, whatever Shapiro told him to do...So maybe stupid and cheap! Either way, the Indians won't be a good, competitive team, until Mark Shapiro is gone!

And the Indians brass is wondering why they're having trouble selling Season Ticket plans...Well, for the same reason the Cavaliers are having trouble selling tickets, and Season Tickets...The economy sucks, and it really sucks here...So if you put a shitty product out there, people aren't going to pay big money for it...Listen, if I want to go see Triple-A Baseball, I can go do it a lot cheaper then going to an Indians game!

As for the Cavs...Now I haven't gone to a NBA game since high school, and I don't plan on doing now...So you can imagine my joy when I got a cold call from the Cavaliers, trying to sell a special offer on tickets...EAT A DICK! I didn't pay to see them when "The King" was here, why the fuck would I start making myself suffer now?

Didn't I mention Hockey before? Yes I did...Hey did you know Sunday was "Hockey Day in America"? I'll assume most people didn't...Just us Hockey geeks...This was a little thing the NHL cooked up to get people fired up for Hockey...A bunch of feel-good stories about pond hockey, and this American hockey great and that American hockey great...Two televised games in the afternoon, and then finish the day off with "The Heritage Classic" in Calgary...Flames vs. Canadiens...

The NHL is hoping this will give them a boost...That's fine, and it may have today, but I think the NHL needs to start to except what it is...I believe Bill Burr put best when he said, "Hockey is a rogue sport." ...The NHL continues to reach out and try to grab the casual fan...Change rules to try and push scoring, and open the game up for the "stars"...Now sometimes you do land a casual fan...Everything does...But if you fuck with things too much, you start to turnoff your base...Hockey people love hockey, and they'll watch junior, and minor league, and college...I watch College Hockey every week...There's always something to fill the void...

So I'm asking the NHL, to except what you are...You'll never be the NFL, the NBA, or MLB...That's okay...Don't play to the lowest common denominator...Be what you are, and your fans will always support you...Also hope for the NFL and NBA to have serious labor issues, that shut them down next season...They may give Hockey another nice boost...As long as the NHL doesn't have another lockout!

Before I go, lets get a laugh in here...Saturday night Patrice O'Neal had a comedy special on Comedy Central...It was hilarious...Here's a taste of Patrice's brand of Humor...




One last thing...Last week, some people didn't like the tone of Monday Moaning...Not that it was very different from what it is each week...But some didn't like the 'hate' vibe it had...So each week, I'm going to make sure I put something in my post, that I love...

I love good music...I heard this version of this song driving home from work Saturday night...It was the first time it had been played on Cleveland radio in 20 years, and it was great...One of my favorites, Van Morrison, doing a great Bob Dylan song...




Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning (Valentine's Day edition)

Well it's Valentine's Day...Another horse shit day to make us spend money, and say I love you to the people we should probably just say it to every day...What a bunch of crap! But yes, I got Mrs. Beeze flowers, and I got her chocolate covered strawberries...WHY? because I like to put my dick in her, so I do what needs to be done for the greater good!

Last week, after Monday's post I wasn't around at all...I just wasn't very inspired to write...I didn't care what was going on...I was tired...And honestly, there were nights that I just wanted to hang with my kids...Especially the baby...She's my favorite! She doesn't talk...She always smiles at me, and acts like I'm the cat's ass...She's my girl!

Anyway, I was trying to figure out what to write about this week...Well with all this Valentine's love in the air, I thought I'd bring the hate...People say you shouldn't hate...Well, hate is a normal, human feeling/reaction...It's as normal as masturbation! And probably a more common feeling than love...So I'm bringing some hate to your Valentine's Day!

Right now, I'm hating the 250 people I hate to cook for at The Fish House Saturday night...What a needy bunch of cunts! Who knew so many assholes had so many horseshit allergies to so many things...If you have a Shellfish Allergy, you can't eat the Lobster Bisque dummy...Hell, you probably don't want to eat at a seafood joint!

What else am I hating? The New York Islanders and Pittsburgh Penguins are always on that list, but after Friday night, I see some new candidates for the Skull Fuck Hall of Fame...Clearly the Islanders were pissed their shitty goalie got laid out with one punch a couple weeks ago, so Friday they were going to send a message...Here are some numbers from the game...17 Fighting Majors...59 Penalties...300+ Penalty Minutes...9 Game Misconducts...The Penguins ended the game with 6 skaters...The Islanders ended with 9...

Okay, I'm all for the fighting in Hockey, but this one got a bit out of control...I'm adding the refs to the Hate list, because these dolts should have known some shit was going to happen...I hate the Penguins, although in many situations the Islanders were the instigators, and taking some cheap shots...But the Pens weren't innocent...Let's go to the video...everything is included in this one...




The Islanders I have always hated thanks to my loyalty to the New York Rangers...But the shit some of those guys pulled has taken it up a notch...No wonder you're the worst team in the league...Between the dummy owner...The fuck-tard GM...The bad coach, and the hack goon-squad, you dopes don't stand a chance...

Next on my shit list...Over-positive Cleveland fan...I've beat on these people before, so why stop now? Yes, there are people trying to give the Cavaliers' record setting losing streak a positive spin..."Hey the Cavs will have a better chance at winning the Draft Lottery" SO! A better chance, big fucking shit...Draft a potential superstar, and watch him leave a few years later...AWESOME!

But worse is the Cleveland fan who wants to point out that this losing streak "doesn't define us"...No shit ass-hat! I don't play basketball, let alone for that shit team...Basketball and the Cavaliers come no where near close to defining me...No silly sports team does...And if you are concerned with talking-heads in the media using sports teams to define you as a person or your city, well dummy, you are their target audience...

Lastly, I'm going to hate Neil Young...This one hurts a bit because I always liked Neil Young...But then I heard a newer song of his..."Angry World"...Well if wasn't already a "angry world" before, it is now after hearing this shit...



Didn't Neil write, "It's better to burn out, then to fade away"...Well I have to say, Neil, You've burned out, and I wish you would have faded away...What a steaming pile of shit!

Now, I'm getting out of here...If you don't recall, the Mrs. and I had a deal based on her performing oral favors, and well, she's built up a back-log...

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

An Open Letter to the Sports Media and the Cavaliers

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits

Hey ladies, guess who's coming back to town...That's right, King Crybaby!




Yes, people it's not just the local media, it's all over the national media too...The great hype machine is working overtime...LeBron James is coming back to Cleveland ,and everyone expects the worst...Guess what, the fans worst isn't going to hurt LeBron...No matter how much the city of Cleveland embraced him, because he grew up 30 minutes away, and because he had so much talent...He never embraced the city...

Clevelanders got use to people like Bernie Kosar, who grew up in Youngstown...The city embraced him...It was close enough to call him one of us...And he returned the sentiment...But not everyone is Bernie Kosar, and I'm not talking about him being piss drunk most of the time! As a matter of fact, there are less and less athletes around who show that love back to a city...And I'm not just talking about during their playing days...Bernie is still around, and treats Clevelanders with nothing but respect, and gratitude...

So to any Cavaliers fans who may be going to the big game...Feel free to let LeBron know you think he's a douche, but don't get carried away...We're all still hearing about 10 cent beer night, and fuck, I wasn't even born yet!




In other sports news...Cam Newton, Auburn QB has been reinstated to play by the NCAA...Funny thing is, nobody knew he was suspended...Apparently on Monday, the NCAA found his father and some other shady bastard guilty of "wrong doings" so the University suspended Newton on Tuesday...The NCAA reinstated him today...Funny how they kept this off the radar...Any other NCAA investigation moves as slow as molasses in January...This shit doesn't smell right...

Would they have done this if he was playing on a 8-4 team? No! But since Auburn is undefeated, and heading into the big money making SEC Championship game Saturday, they want to make sure the money keeps flowing in...Who's going to watch South Carolina play Auburn, if the Tigers don't have their Heisman front runner, Quarterback? Not too many!

It's all about Money...Funny since the whole investigation was started because talk of Newton's father asking schools for money...And now after all this, if Newton does win the Heisman, I hope Reggie Bush shows up the next day and says, 'Give me back my trophy, you hypocritical cunts!'

What a bunch of horseshit!

Screw it...Onto the good stuff...Last week, Alana squeaked out another win, narrowly beating out Lucia...So this week, I'm doing a little tribute to Alana...She's getting hung up in the rafters...Next week, we'll be seeing 3 other ladies...But this week is just Alana Collins...enjoy!












Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits

Bartender, Give me another! Yes, I'm posting late again, but not as late as last week...Things are crazy around here...This week I'll start the hits off with catching you up with the issue at my kids' school...If you read Monday, you know what I'm talking about...If you didn't, go find it...

My daughter's teacher got back to me Monday Morning...She called me at the Fish House, and explained how it was her fault...The policy in the past was not send home report cards to students who had not had their fees paid...But since they weren't informing us of the fees until report card day, this policy wasn't to be carried out...It was a bit of miscommunication on her part...We she spoke to me on the phone she said how she thought the policy didn't make sense, so she understood my enraged email...She also sent emails to all the parents explaining her mistake...I feel kinda bad for her, because I'm sure the bosses jump up and down on her after they got hammered with emails from angry fuckers like me...But I'm also sure she won't make the same mistake...See folks, even teachers can learn a lesson!

Next, Sports Illustrated (kids) decided to run with this cover...


I get it...The Three Musketeers...Funny though, they look an awful lot like Cavaliers...Even stranger, the Cavaliers recently having changed their image model, after LeBron left, have been highlighting their team slogan, "All for One. One for All." Something tells me that LeBron's idiotic PR machine had input in this cover, because it sure seems like any shot they can take at Cleveland, the fans, or the Cavaliers, they do...

What bunch of ass-hats!

ESPN made one of the best moves in their history this week...The let go Joe Morgan...Which had to be tough after 20 years, and because the weight of his ego couldn't have been easy to unload...Thank God, we don't have to hear anymore stories about the glory days of the "Big Red Machine"...No more comparing every catcher to Johnny Bench...Hell, no more comparing every second baseman to himself...No more of his made up, bullshit stories, that he would use, to try and show he knew more than anyone else about Baseball...You don't Joe! Morgan was a hell of a ball player, but he was also a douche...Watching Sunday Night Baseball with him in the booth, was more painful 4 hours of dental surgery with no drugs...Maybe I'll tune in again this season...


Now to the important stuff...I'm going to change it up a bit this week...Last week Cora seemed to be the big winner...



So let's see how she does this week against two new lovelies...On this fine Hump Day, Which of these ladies would you most like to throw a Hump?

A. Cora




B. Corissa




C. Alana




As always, Read and Respond...

Later The Beeze.

Cleveland Has a Response For LeBron and Warren Sapp

Yes, this topic just keeps popping up...But if I could be childish about it...He started it! So we all saw that NIKE commercial LeBron did, that seemed to stick it to the people of Cleveland, one more time...Well some one put together a very good response, in the name of Cleveland...Have a look...




I think that was pretty good...I love it when people have their own words thrown in their face!

Then I saw it was posted on website, and Warren Sapp decided to put his two cents in...Here's a LINK to checkout...But if you don't want to, I'll fill you in...Sapp said, "Nobody Cares What Cleveland Or Ohio Thinks!!! Kill Yourself w/That!!!" I can't wait for big, fat, fatty, fat's heart to stop beating...I've blasted Cleveland many times in the past, and I'm sure I'll continue to, but I fucking live here...This ass-hat has no reason to talk shit...

Hey Warren, after you get done downing another couple Big-Macs, and then finish smacking around another woman, feel free to wrap your big fat lips around the business end of a shotgun...Stupid fat cunt!

Oh, and LeBron...Fuck yourself!

Later, The Beeze

LeBron James is an @$$hole!

Holy Shit Batman! The Beeze is posting a blog about basketball...Only one asshole can make that happen...The self appointed King has made a new NIKE commercial and his PR team is still all about being stupid...

Dogging Cleveland one more time, and smacking any and everyone who thinks you've been a dolt...Way to "Rise"...Feel free to keep being douchebag...I hope the "King" blows out both of his knees in the first game...Hell, I wouldn't mind if he got hit by a bus...

Now for your viewing pleasure...."RISE"




What a cunt!

Later, The Beeze

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits

It's that time again...yes, I'm posting a bit before Wednesday, I'm tired...The kids at Tee-Ball wiped me out tonight...In my book we are undefeated in this silly little, everyone wins league...We won again tonight...Recording 2 outs, our opponents recorded 1...The Little Beeze made the out...They got him out at second...He was first talking to the first baseman, then he jogged to second...When they called him out and sent him back to me at the dugout, he ran full speed...I said, "you know how you just ran to me...Run like that all the time." The kids are swinging the bats great...I've got some hitters...Now we gotta work on their arms...But enough of that...

The first hit...

Is Freedom of Speech Still Alive?

Not if you own a NBA franchise apparently...Douche-bag, David Stern has fined Cleveland Cavaliers owner, Dan Gilbert $100,000 dollars for his "open letter to Cavaliers fans." Seriously, for as much bullshit I heard people giving Gilbert for the letter, he had every right to put it out there...Just as I have the right to post this blog...You may not like what he said...It may cost him signing any free agents in the years to come, but that's on him...Stern has no f**king right! These league Commissioners are getting too much power...

I want to know where is the press? Where is the media? If the NBA can fine an owner for writing his opinions and feeling, and then sharing with fans, how far away are we from the NBA banning certain reporters...If you say something Stern doesn't like...You're gone...It's coming! Gilbert never attacked Stern or the league in his letter...Many people think he should have...They're talking collusion on Cleveland sports talk Radio...Is Stern going to try and stop the talking...David Stern is a C*nt!

Next on the hit list...Lawrence Taylor pleaded not guilty to the to third-degree rape...Patronizing a prostitute...Sexual abuse and endangering a child...Good luck with that LT...Yes, he was the original LT...Not that little bitch running back, with the stupid Darth Vadar mask...I hope he breaks his leg in the first pre-season game...Anyways, the real LT looks guilty...He looks like he got setup, but nonetheless, guilty...

It's been a tough week for Yankees fans...First, longtime Public Address Announcer Bob Sheppard passed away...Then Tuesday morning George Steinbrenner died at age 80, of a "Massive Heart Attack" I never liked the guy, but I have to respect how he went about his business...He did what he wanted, how he wanted, and he was successful...

The last hit this week..."The Mel Gibson Tapes are coming out...Oh this chick got him...Holy shit does this bastard sound nuts...Really f**king nuts...Dude threatens to bury her in the rose bushes...But his best line comes at 1 minute 47 seconds when he says, "YOU SHOULD JUST F**KING SMILE AND BLOW ME!" Dude has totally lost it...Good luck making another movie psycho!




Now to the Important stuff...This week we're gonna go with one fine lady in 3 different sports...Keeley Hazell...A hot little British model, who also has a nice porn out there...


A. Keeley Hazell, soccer...




B. Keeley Hazell, boxing...




C. Keeley Hazell, tennis...

Read and Respond!

Later, The Beeze.

What I Witnessed Last Night

In the past I have never held back my disdain for LeBron James, so why would I stop now? The last week has driven me crazy with the non-stop LeBron James talk in Cleveland, and for that matter all across the country, since ESPN has been hyping the NBA free agency season...Then last night was the big show..."The Decision"...What the f**k!?!

So after he made his decision, my brother-in-law called...We talked a bit...Then I started watching facebook and twitter blow up...Then my pal Sully called...I had the local ESPN Radio affiliate on...Those guys were going nuts...A lot of people were pissed...Many of them for the wrong reasons...Let me explain...

James, even though he is a douche-bag, he had every right to decide to play in Miami...The people that are pissed and feel he owes them something...That he belongs here...They need to grow up! That's fine if it's a kid that feels that way...But if you're 30, get past it! I knew he was leaving 3 years ago...Why the f**k didn't you see it coming?

Now, there is something all Cleveland fans should be pissed at "The King" about...He put on this whole dog & pony show, knew cameras were gonna be in Cleveland and Akron bars...What did the Nation see? Cavaliers fans holding their heads in their hands...Way to embarrass your home town...Just like you did in the playoffs, when you gave up! What else should Cavaliers fans be pissed about? A couple years ago Lebron said in Sports Illustrated, "I don't want to be a ring chaser, I want to win here." Look who's chasing rings, in some one else's house!

The worst thing "The King" did...He didn't let the Cavaliers know ahead of time...He should have gotten in touch with them, and said, 'Thanks for everything you did for me and my family, but I think leaving is the best thing for me.' Just a little bit of class would have been nice...In the past I have pointed out LeBron's lack of class, and last night he just helped me prove my point...The local media has always protected it's stars...Now, I think those days are over...Especially since Dan Gilbert went off last night...Here's his Letter_to_the_fans ...He also started blasting "The King" to the press, stated that LeBron quit in game 5...Oh and game 6 and 2 and game 4 the year before...Nice...I say it back in May, and I'm an asshole...Gilbert says it, and the city starts swinging on his balls!

I like how Gilbert responded...It showed passion, and I think it did inspire fans...Many got angry, instead of depressed...That said, he looked a bit like a child...It's gonna be hard to get players to come here if the owner has a rep for bashing players when they leave...Not that he was getting them to come here before!

None the less, LeBron is gone and it's his right...It's also his right to be a classless douche...so you know what I say...Be glad that he's gone! He's a dick! He clearly wasn't a leader...Now he's going to Dwayne Wade's team...He's not a winner...7 years, and I saw no championships...No his high school one doesn't count...He's not a winner...Be glad he's gone! He's a bad tipper...Be glad that he's gone...He's got a mountain of skeletons in his closet...Be glad that he's gone...His drunk ass mother could have run one of us over...Be glad that he's gone..."The King" is dead...Be glad that he's gone...

Later, The Beeze

Grinning From Ear to Ear

Well it happened! I won my bet with a co-worker from the Fish House...The Celtics won, just as I said they would!

I have to say, I was a little surprised by how the Cavaliers played...I can't believe the number of turnovers in the game...The Celtics D'ed up, but it wasn't all the Celtics...The Cavs couldn't hold onto the ball...9 turnovers by James...

Then at the end of the game, the Cavaliers gave up...No hustle...No trying to foul, and see what they can do...They just gave in to defeat...Hell, it looked like they gave up Tuesday night!

There's no doubt in my mind that LeBron will be leaving...I assumed it years ago...And I really don't care...Clearly I'm not a Cavaliers fan, and honestly, I'm not a basketball fan...This is the most basketball I have watched in years...And now I remember why I don't like it...Foul after foul...Maybe it's the hockey in me, but my god, some one gets touched ever so gently and it's a foul! I need more contact...More contact without a foul being called, and without these giants putting on their whining little b!tch face about it every time...

Now that I got to see the Celtics take down "The King", and I will be collecting some money tomorrow, I'm done with basketball...That is until I make another bet!

Later, The Beeze.

Witness...Me Laughing

HAHAHAHA! Wait, this guy does it better...



That's right I'm a Clevelander, happy about the Cavaliers losing last night to the Celtics...I think I've made my loyalty clear lately, and it isn't to LeBron and The Cavaliers...Way to come out looking like the MVP last night...Douche-bag! Yeah I said it! Hey, "King James" why don't you go out to another restaurant, order an expensive steak, cooked well done, ask for ketchup, then ask the server to cut it for you, and finish the night by leaving a shitty tip!

Hey Cavs' fans...How does it feel to think that last night's performance could be LeBron's last one at "The Q"? Looks like the ECONOMY in Cleveland will be hitting the crapper some more....Again I laugh!

I know it drives some people crazy that I have become the anti-Clevelander...Tough shit! It doesn't matter where we live, or where we were born...It matters that we were born with freewill...A wonderful gift that lets us make choices in our life...The biggest choice I made as to be a realist, and not walk through life with blinders on...I'm willing to see the crap!

I also chose to cheer for teams from different cities...There is no law that says I must cheer for my hometown teams...I cheer for teams I like...I fell in love with hockey and the New York Rangers when I was very young...I had no idea the misery I was in for...I cheered for the Browns until they left...I tried to after the fake Browns arrived, but my God that has been a disgrace...I cheered for the Cubs when I was a kid...Why? Because WGN, afternoon Baseball, and Ryne Sandberg! I gave the Indians love too, but Mark Shapiro and Eric Wedge sucked the life out of that team, and I moved onto the Red Sox...Why? The wife, and the city is awesome...

I won't sit here blindly believing everything some dope politician tells me...Nor will I do it for some asshole owner, and his idiot GM...Since I mentioned them...In the past few years, the Indians traded away C.C. Sabathia, Cliff Lee, and Victor Martinez...The tribe got a couple below average outfielders...A horrible catcher...Some average pitchers...And some minor league junk...Martinez and Lee both still had another year on their contracts, but management felt this was the best they could get...Shapiro told the Red Sox he wanted Buchholz...The Sox said NO! Shapiro said okay...Same thing with the Phillies when he moved Lee...He wanted X ,Y & Z, and they said A, B, & Z...Shapiro took it...Why would I blindly follow this bitch anywhere...Now the Indians have starting lineup that has 3 players hitting .300 or above...The rest below .260...Go Screw!

Yes, I'm a Clevelander...Yes, I'm a sports fan...I'm just not a Cleveland sports fan...And I'm not that big of a fan of Cleveland...At this point angry Clevlanders like to tell me to leave...I would love to! For God's sake I have found myself daydreaming about living in Rochester, New York, and stalking Lilly from the Brother Wease Show! But right now, life requires me to live here...

With that said, I laugh again, as I say Go Celtics!

Now let's close on a positive note...Here are three women I would have sex with...How about you!?!

Later, The Beeze.

"WITNESS...Nothing again!"

That's what it said on a shirt I saw today...That is my new favorite shirt...At least until I have one made that says...'I f**ked my wife so good and hard, she ended up in the hospital!' (if you don't get that joke, read Monday Moaning)

-

I'm not a big LeBron James fan...Hell, I'm not much of a fan of basketball...But, being a Clevelander, it was hard not to watch some of the playoffs this year...But I didn't jump on the bandwagon...I don't do that sh!t...I wasn't on at the start, so I'm not gonna be a douche and jump on when the team is good...

Anyway...The big talk the last few days has been about LeBron...And how he walked off the court Saturday without shaking any hands of the Orlando Magic players...Honestly I didn't care about that...I can understand being upset...And it isn't a traditional thing to do, like it is in hockey...

What did bother me, was Lebron not talking to the media afterwards...And still on Monday not being apologetic about it...Saying "I'm a competitor" just doesn't cut it...

And I don't want to hear anymore people saying..."Well he's only 24...He's still young." Really...So he shouldn't be a responsible adult...He's been in the league for 6 years...He's not a rookie...That "he's young" sh!t doesn't wash with me...Let's not forget, this guy is a father of 3 kids...(two with a girlfriend he won't marry, and one with another girl) So if he screws up as a parent...Are you going to say..."Well he's only 24...He's still young." I truly hope not.

It's time stop acting like a f**king child and grow up "king!"

Listen LeBron...You have no problem putting your ass in front of the cameras when you're winning......You have no problem being one of the faces of the league and letting the media swing on your nuts when all is well...So you need to man up and face the media when you and your team shit the bed...

-

Sorry if this dose of honesty is too harsh...But I'm sick of grown men acting like children...And it seems the more money they make...The more they act like a spoiled brat.

-

End Rant.

-

Later, the Beeze.