Monday Moaning

That right there is the only Lion activity I'll discuss...Seriously, between the news media, and social media, I've had enough...Yes, dick-bag hunters illegally killing Lions for sport is fucking horrible...But wake the fuck up people...DO you know how many children are starving every day in Africa?  Do you know how many people are withering away in refuge camps because they have fled their villages, because extremists have been going full-blown genocide on them?  Fuck the lions...Although, the lion above wants to fuck Dorothy....

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And shit, that's just in Africa...Have you noticed how many people are being killed for no good-goddamn reason here in America...But everyone is on Twitter and Facebook pissing and moaning about a lion...Tell me how much you'll give a shit about that fucking lion when your kid, or sister, brother, cousin, mother, or father gets shot...Have I made my point? FUCK THE LION!

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Okay, lets move on...Last week I posted THIS, in which I threw in a reference to a yet unresolved physical incident Dez Bryant had with his mother...His mother...Such a classy guy, of course the Cowboys gave him a $70 million deal...Sunday, Bryant got into it with teammate Tyler Patmon...They both ripped each other's helmets off...There was shit-talking scuffling, and Bryant threw a punch...And of course, as we have seen from sideline clips, he couldn't stop...Bryant kept going and teammates couldn't contain him...It wasn't until Tony Romo got in his face and said whatever he did, that Bryant calmed down...Eventually Patmon and Bryant resolved things, and it was all chalked up to "loving the game" and competing hard...

I don't care what anyone says...Bryant is talented as hell, but he's a problem...

I also posted THIS last week, about Russell Wilson getting his contract extension worked out with the Seahawks...There are a lot of people who hate on Wilson, and I don’t quite get it…In a sport that can be so detrimental to your health, a player getting the guaranteed money that he did, doesn’t happen, when it really should…The guy wins…He didn’t let his whore ex-wife distract his game…He does serious charity work, and he spends time with kids in the hospital, EVERY single week…I’m glad he got his…And I suspect, in a couple years he’ll restructure his contract for the good of the team…

While my friend B.O.B. has a built in dislike for the city of Seattle, my rain-filled, cloudy sky soul has a soft spot for the city…I love how the Seahawks built their team, defense first…They have hit on talent in all rounds of the draft, including Wilson…This team, no matter how good the defense, wouldn’t have done what they have, with Matt Flynn at QB...

A good guy...A class guy...A hard working, winner like Wilson getting a $87 million deal, with $60 million guaranteed, makes a helluva lot more sense then a guy like Bryant getting a $70 million deal...

- The Eagles traded DB Brandon Boykin to the Steelers...Then Boykin made a statement about Eagles coach Chip Kelly being uncomfortable around "men of our culture"...Which everyone in the media spun into 'Kelly is a racist!'  Sunday Boykin  was backpedaling from what he said, trying to explain what he meant...

"I said he was uncomfortable with men of our culture.  I'm not saying he's a racist at all. That's not what I said and I think it was kind of taken out of context. When you're a player, you want to be able to relate to your coach no matter what outside of football...I want to be able to sit there and talk to you about whatever. There were times he just wouldn't talk to people. You were walking down the hallway and he wouldn't say anything to you."

Considering Kelly is 51 years old, and has been around football his whole life...And has played with and coached players of all races and creeds, I have a hard time thinking the guy is a flat-out racist...Boykin's thoughts and comments make me think it's more about him being an oversensitive little cunt...The guy is your coach...He's not there to be your friend...This isn't little league mother fucker...You're in a league that makes BILLIONS of dollars...Coaches make millions, and need to win to keep making millions...

Listen Boykin, you fucking child...Look up the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team...They pulled off teh biggest upset in sports history, and it was because of America's greatest coach...Herb Brooks...

Boykin, you want your boss to be your friend, get a fucking job landscaping...Grow the fuck up you overpaid twat!


- Now, since I have covered some football here in this post, I guess I have to touch on this so-called "Deflate-gate" and the idiot Commissioners ruling on Tom Brady...First...I hate how this country's lazy media throws "gate" on the back end of a word to describe a controversy...All because of Dick Nixon and Watergate...But Watergate was the name of the fucking building...It wasn't a great water controversy...Assholes...

Second...I'm sick of the whole goddamn story, because it stinks of trumped up bullshit...Goodell and his minions are bad news for the NFL...

Third...Baltimore Raves fans, and even though they are denying it now, management and coaches...Anyone using the phase, "the Patriots get away with murder," needs to take  along look in the mirror, and then shoot themselves in the fucking head....You people spent years swinging on Ray Lewis' dick...Ray Lewis who was present for two murders...Possibly helped...and definitely obstructed justice...You all, also fully supported Jamal Lewis and his drug dealing exploits...And then you were all behind Ray Rice, at least until the world collectively gasped as we watched that one punch knockout of his wife...Fuck the hell off, every last living one of you Ray Lewis loving, cock-suckers!

Fourth...Fuck Colts Owner/crybaby Jim Irsay, you drunk driving asshole, rules committee bitch, who cries constantly because your team can't get it done...Oh, and then there was the year your franchise tanked the season so they could draft Andrew Luck...Look in the mirror before you cry cheater...

Fifth...In the sport of football, the ball is a piece of equipment...the NFL's policy for an equiptment violation has been a $25,000-$50,000 fine for the offending player...Never fining a team, or taking draft picks away...Every thing about this case has seemed like a WITCH-HUNT...

That's all I have to say about this fucking idiotic story...

I need a little more Dorothy...

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Have a week.

Monday Moaning

 

There's been a lot of talk and little debate about control, and the second amendment...Too many shootings, and I'm not just talking about the mass shootings that get all the media coverage...I think we really need to have some honest talk about guns...But not in this post...I'm just pimping one hell   of a calendar...The Hot Shots 2013 calendar...

I'm not a gun nut...But I don't mind these gals making these weapons look a little sexier...

Now, lets get into sports...As I had predicted in our pal IHM's NFL pre-season post, the "Super Bowl" will be the 49ers vs. the Ravens...Yes, I love to pat myself on the back when I'm right...Although, I didn't actually enjoy seeing the Patriots get worked by the Ravens...But I'll be okay...

That said, I'm not looking forward to the non-stop Harbaugh coverage we're going to get...And even worse will be the Ray Lewis nut-swinging...And could some one in the mainstream-media please call out Ray when he's preaching about God's Will...Was it also God's Will for Ray to father 6 children with 4 different women...I guess the rest of us have been going to the wrong church...Ray must go to the Church of the Holy Hood-Rats!

As for the folks in Boston, I'm not sure if they'll be okay...I was texting with my brother-in-law during the game...He was getting pretty pissed...I love those moments when people in Boston say "Brady sucks!"  The guy is one of the best, all-time...He's not the only Bostonian to lose it like this...I've known of other Boston fans like that...I was talking to Sully, a Boston native, and he's noticed this too....

The problem is, after so many years of sucking...Boston has gotten spoiled...The Patriots have been to five "Super Bowls" in the last 12 years...They won 3...My wife, a Boston native, and I have been married for 12 years...So I have become more in tune to Boston sports...In that 12 years, the Patriots have won 3 titles...The Red Sox 2...The Celtics and Bruins each 1...7 pro sports championships in 12 years...5 trips to the "Super Bowl"....You people in New England need to fucking relax...

The last time the Browns won a Championship was before there was a "Super Bowl"...The Indians haven't won a title since 1948...The Cavs haven't won shit, ever!  And we lost multiple pro hockey teams...Do you know how many idiotic people in Cleveland would give their first born for a Browns "Super Bowl" win...Shit...Some would give a nut just to make the playoffs...

Alright Bostonians...Take a breath...Relax...Have a Sam Adams...Checkout the latest Smokeshow on Barstool...It will be okay...We'll all be watching the Patriots in the playoffs again next year...

-Now last week I gave lance Armstrong the beating I felt he deserved...And that was before I saw some of his bullshit with Oprah...Believe me, he didn't win anyone over with that...He actually made himself look worse...He doesn't need anymore beating from me...He's worthless...But I found this, and thought it was great...

That's just a great way of sticking it too the douchebag!

I also gave Notre Dame LB, Manti Te'o a beating...I'm standing by what I wrote...Sitting in a room with his lawyer, feeding Jeremy Schaap a story, off camera, doesn't make him look any bit innocent to me...Even if he was fooled, he continued to do interviews where he referenced his dead, fake, girlfriend...The kid is a scumbag...And he's going to pull a softy move just like Armstrong...My old friend from grade school who is a producer for Katie Couric, posted on facebook that Te'o will be on her show Thursday....These fucking guys...Unreal!  I hope she asks him what magazines he reads...She's used that before to trip some one up!

I do have some good news people...Very good news...Normally we think it's those Ivy League Schools, or MIT, or Stanford, that do the really important studies...Well, it's time to look outside the box people...Star looking at the studies they're doing at NC State...

Just so you know ladies...If you're not getting you one to two loads of semen a week, the Beeze is here for ya!

Lastly, the NHL is back after it's idiotic labor dispute...I'm not real pumped for it yet...I didn't see any this weekend...That's a whole other story...But I saw this, and got a little tingle...





Have a week...

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Just to warn you now...This is not going to be a friendly edition of Monday Moaning...If the opening pic doesn't sum it it up for you, this week's theme is FUCK YOU! And the First one is a BIG FUCK YOU...2 for 1 actually...

FUCK YOU Jerry Sandusky, you kid touching, fucking scum bag...You can't die soon enough...Saturday, Sandusky was charged by a Pennsylvania grand jury with multiple counts of "deviate sexual intercourse, corruption of minors, endangering the welfare of a child, indecent assault," and more, after a three-year investigation by state police...You fucking bastard! Seriously, my dream job is to be able to kill pieces of shit like Sandusky...

Oh, and I promised 2 for 1...Joe Paterno, you stupid, old, overrated, asshole...FUCK YOU! Why you ask...In 2002 a former graduate assistant told Paterno of a potential sexual assault of a 10year old boy inside the Penn State locker room by Sandusky...At that time Sandusky was Penn State's defensive coordinator...Paterno passed it along to his AD, but never bothered to look into it himself, or follow up on any possible investigation...Nothing was done...Nothing, and Sandusky had 9 more years to freely prey on kids...So Fuck You Joe Paterno...

There is no reason for a 58 year old man and a 10 year old boy to be in that situation...A possible sexual assault of a minor occurring inside Paterno’s locker room, by an assistant coach...And he did nothing! All you people who love Paterno so much, and go on and on about how great he is, and what a high standard he upholds, please....Please fucking, try to defend him now....Fuck You too!

Before I just hated you because I thought you were overrated...Real coaches don't collect their wins in the booth, you tired old fuck...Nevermind it was clear ten years ago, that the game was starting to pass you by...And in the past 5 years, it's clear that your assistants have been carrying you, and your cunty legacy...And now that legacy includes you having a kid toucher on your staff, and when you found out about it, you didn't do shit...Please fall down some stairs and die already!

Next...FUCK YOU to the Cleveland Browns....Last week I had a talk with BROWNS_FANS...And after Sunday, I think more might start drinking what I'm spilling...

Fuck You Pat Shurmur...His offense sucks...He can't manage his team, his coaches...Shit he can't manage the clock...He constantly goes into the half, and goes home with his time-outs in his pocket...Fuck McCoy...No really, somebody fuck him...Poor bastard spent another Sunday running for his life...So yeah, Fuck the O-Line...I'm not sold on McCoy, his arm looks weak, but like I said, dude is always running, or on his back...

This tweet from some gash, Browns beat reporter summed up Sunday's game...#Texans rookie LB Brooks Reed who had two sacks, three qb hits on #Browns QB colt McCoy: "I couldn't believe they weren't blocking me.''

Fuck You Holmgren....Fat bastard just sitting in his suite, stuffing his face, and laughing that he's got a $10 million contract to run this mess...Just walks around and shows his Super Bowl ring, and thinks he's put in a day of work...

And Fuck all the Peyton Hillis Bullshit!

FUCK You LeCharles_Bentley!

FUCK the great big hype machine, that talked us all into thinking Saturday's LSU vs. Alabama game was going to be the biggest, greatest, most exciting game we would ever see in years...IT WASN'T!!! He fucking sucked...It sucked like a girl with a sandpaper tongue!

Luckily, there was hockey (god bless center ice) and a much more exciting high school game on to watch...

FUCK YOU Ray Lewis! This camera hungry asshole gets away with being an accessory to murder, and then every fucking week I gotta see him giving his moronic pre-game speeches to his idiot fucking teammates...All these cock-suckers talking about a football game being a war...Could the military please take Ray Lewis into custody, fly him overseas, and drop his ass in Afghanistan's Korengal Valley...The fucking asshole would be crying for his mother after day one...

FUCK YOU Burntwood Tavern, who over-cooked my Lamb Chops, and burnt my root vegetables Friday night...The other stuff was good, and the wife blew me on the way home so, they'll get a mostly good review...

So this post has been all negative, except the blow job Friday night...So let's end on a bright note...Me an Ms. Molly have been taking advantage of the oddly nice weather, and hitting the park...


She's lovin' the swings...


And I love that smile....

See, I don't fucking hate everyone!

Have a week....

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits

Yes people, the Hump Day Hits are back, and back with a vengeance...

The first topic I'm hitting on is this Ray Lewis interview with Sal Palintonio (Don't care if I spelled it right) from ESPN...I love the fact that ESPN does this interview, then a number of their Radio talking heads take one small clip, and beat to death...(You know, like those guys Ray Lewis and his boys murdered)

They keep playing the clip where Lewis talks about how crime will be on the rise if there is no NFL season...When I first hear this snip it, I thought, "What a fucking asshole!" Which is what these dolts want us to think...They made it out like Lewis was saying, NFL players would be robbing, and killing people, because of the lockout...But what Lewis was talking about was all the people who "live through us"...Huh...Who the fuck lives through you...But Sal guided him into talking about the people who work at stadiums and shit like that...Ray, said "There's nothing else to do Sal!"

Hey Ray, the Fish House is looking for a dishwasher...Maybe a part-time cook...Also Ray, could you stop acting like the NFL is the savior of the world...It isn't, and you aren't John the Baptist either...Shut the fuck up...

That said, fuck ESPN's Radio douchebags for only playing that little bit...Play the rest, so people get the full context...You fuckers are from reporting sports news...You're fucking spin-doctors just like most of the media...Here's the interview, not just one soundbite...




Oh, but I'm not done with ESPN yet...Last night I went after "The World Wide Leader's" Linda Cohn, via Twitter...

You see last night's San Jose, Vancouver game had a kind of fluke, ending to it...In the second overtime, Canucks defenseman, Elder, went to dump the puck into the corner...He put it up on the glass, everyone was looking for it to go around the boards, but it hit one of the stanchions between the glass, and kiccked back out to the blue line...Everyone was looking for the puck as it ended up of Canucks defenseman, Kevin Bieska's stick...He shot immediately, and before anyone knew it, it was in the goal...Game over...

So afterwards Linda Cohn tweeted this..."Play to you hear the whistle. The #Sharks forgot. #Canucks did not. On to the Finals first time since '94. Luongo 56 saves. #welldone"

Okay, first I think it's play till you hear the whistle, not "Play to you hear the whistle."

I felt it was my duty to reply..."@lindcohn The Sharks didn't forget, they just didn't see the puck, you dummy...What the hell do any of you ESPN dolts know about Hockey."

"@lindacohn it was 54 saves you dummy!"

Seriously, the playoffs have been great, and ESPN gives them 2 minutes late in the show, and most of the time they sound stupid...And Cohn clearly looked at the stats and saw SA: 56...SA= Shots Against whore! SV= Saves...Which it was 54, you stupid gash!

Fuck I hate ESPN!


Now for the important part...The Hump Day Hotties, inspired by the best Hockey blog out there...HOCKEY_HOT_CHICKS and Somewhere in Between...

On this stormy Hump Day, which of these Lovely Ladies would you most like to ride the storm out with?


A. Paris Nicole



B. Sarah Jackson




C. Holly Peers



Oh, and if you enjoyed this ranting, you may enjoy the beating I gave BEYONCE last night...

Later, The Beeze.