A Little Hump Day Ranting...And Humping

This week I'm averaging about 3 hours of sleep a night...I've got a bunch of crap bouncing around in my head, and I think if I get it out I may be able to sleep a little better...We'll see...

First, The World Series...1) I hate the Yankees...2) I hate the City of not so brotherly love...3) I really hate seeing two former Cleveland Indians Cy Young Award winners going against each other in "The Fall Classic"...I'm rooting for no one...I'm hoping that some how the Gods will intervene and neither team will win...

And back to this whole"Fall Classic" crap...The way Major League Baseball is going, in a few years will be watching this on Thanksgiving...These two teams had approximately 20 games off during the regular season...During the playoffs, they've already had something like 14...Knock it off with all the days off, and play ball before the snow starts falling....

Another Baseball note...The Indians hired Manny Acta...Awesome, a guy with a record of 158-252...Great, another loser...Don't give me any crap about how the Nationals were a sh!t team...So are the Indians...But what happened with the Nationals after they fired Acta...They played a lot better for the new guy...F**king Indians suck!

One more Baseball note...F**k Mark McGwire...Already sick of hearing about this douche...Go shoot up dummy and teach the Cardinals hitters how to use a syringe...

Moving on...I don't like to get political...But sometimes I get pissed off enough, where I need to say something...I don't care where you stand on Health Care reform...Everyone has their own opinion and that's the beauty of this country...That and being able to voice your opinion...This isn't so much about health care, and public option, no public option...It's about elected officials not listening to the people they represent...

Joe Lieberman of Connecticut, has said he will fight the public option to the death...He will Filibuster to prevent a vote if he has to...The same Joe Lieberman, who just a couple years ago signed a pact to not filibuster...No matter what the issue, it should make it to the floor...Whatever Joe...You're a politician and we should except you're full of crap...My big problem is this...67% of the people he represents in the state of Connecticut, want a public option...Ahhh democracy...Of the people, by the people, for the people, has become....Rich people, voted in by the people, ignoring the people, f**king the people...

Okay, enough with that ranting...Who wants to see two girls kissing?

Here's the highlight of the day...It wasn't carving the pumpkins with the kids...It wasn't the awesome butternut squash bisque I made...It was this...

Mrs. Beeze has been working crazy hours this week...Tonight after the kids were asleep, we had some catching up to do...So we're upstairs, just pounding it...It was one of those quality humps, that has good mix of everything in it...It was loud...I often mock my wife for her poor dirty talk skills...Her big line was, "I want you to cum hard." Well I did! Very loudly too...Afterwards we're rolling out of bed, and getting ready to figure out what to watch on the tube, when suddenly...Our daughter walks in crying ...She was scared by the loud, strange noises, that woke her up....

My wife always thinking said, "Daddy was just yelling because of the hockey game." I chimed in with, "The stupid Rangers lost!" Of course she asks, "Why was the bed making so much noise?" I then had to comeback with, "I was just excited about the game."

One day, she'll remember this and think, 'What a couple of lying dolts my parents were.'

That's all for now...OLP in Columbus tomorrow night...Can't wait!

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

It's a cool, breezy night...There's been a steady drizzle all day long, with the occasional downpour...The marching band is playing...Leading the faithful down the street to the stadium...No, it's not a powerhouse program...No, we aren't in Texas...It's just another beautiful, Fall, Friday night in Ohio...

And I'll be honest...I'd rather watch these kids play, then watch the Cleveland Browns...My neighborhood, Brooklyn Hurricanes won Friday night 15-6...The field was a mess...the rain kept on coming...But it didn't stop them...They played hard...They played fundamentally sound...They had fun...I wish we saw that a little more with the pros...

I have a suggestion for coach Mangina of the Browns...Why don't you take your team to a local high school game...Let them see how they're suppose to make an open field tackle...Let them see how they're suppose to look the ball into their hands...Maybe D.A. will understand how to put some touch on a pass...These are just a few things, that high school kids across the country seem to get...The Browns, not so much!

Hell I would have though Mangini would have picked some of this up when he was working in New England...Who by the way won 35-7 against Tampa Bay, in London...The Pats are rolling now...

There was plenty of football news this weekend...Including Notre Dame beating Boston College 20-16...http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/2009/10/irish-beat-bc-20-16.html

But what impressed me the most happened in West Virginia...We often crack West Virginia jokes...Like, "What do they do in West Virginia for Halloween? ....Pump-kin!"

But the true character, and class of WV was shown Saturday, as UConn came to town a week after their teammate Jasper Howard was murdered at a school dance...

As the Huskies took the field they passed this sign, that read, "Today we are all HUSKIES" with signatures, and thoughts from the Mountaineer faithful...WV players and coaches showed a tremendous amount of class also, before and after the game...It was one of those special moments in sports you hear about...Where you realize, there's a lot more to life then sports...But sometimes playing the games can help people who are dealing with a tragedy...Way to go West Virginia...And way to go Huskies, for going out there and playing your hearts out for your teammate, and each other...

Moving on...ESPN has shit-canned baseball analyst Steve Phillips after he admitted o having an affair with a production assistant...I'm not too sad about this...This dolt always acting like he was the walking book of baseball knowledge...Clearly he wasn't, since no one is willing to hire him as a GM again...But ESPN has always like having analysts that are consistently wrong!

But there are a few things that bother me about this...1) He's married...Which equals he's a douche...2) He's 46 and this chick is 22...My problem with this is, how's he nailing a 22 year old and keeping up...And why would she want to bang a married dude with grey pubes...3) He's put himself into a treatment facility for his problems...WHAT!?!

Seriously, they have treatment for married guys who are banging chicks on the side, who are half their age...Or is he just in hiding...From his wife...Or the 22 year old who went "Fatal Attraction" when he broke it off...That's right...The youngster went bat-shit...You can't trust the young ones...You dummies at ESPN should have learned this by now...What is this, the 10th guy to either get fired or have a harassment claim filed against him...The world wide leader in DOLTS!

U2 is live on YouTube right now, from the Rose Bowl...First off...If you missed me sh!tt!ng all over them last month...Here ya go...http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2009/09/u2-full-of-bullocks.html

Second, their last couple albums blew...This new song they're playing right now sucks...I'm kinda sad about that...I always liked them...

Speaking of music...Thursday, Mrs. Beeze and I will be heading down to Columbus to see Our Lady Peace at the New Port Music Hall...The wife is hooked after seeing them at the House of Blues here in the Cleve...So to my friends down in Columbus, check it out...Great show, and tickets are only $20...

Now a couple updates on the kids...First, My daughter has been dealing with a broken heart...She had a crush on a boy named Sonny...He liked her, but now he's over it...Her poor 7 year old heart was crushed...I tried to tell her, it's better off this way...With a name like Sonny, he'd just get blown away at the toll booths...The Godfather reference was wasted on her...She asked if it would get better...Is her heart really broken...I told her your heart is broken when you feel like this...

She said, "I didn't feel that bad." Didn't was the key word as the song made he cry...Quality parenting right! Now I really wanna f**k this Sonny kid up...From now on the Mrs. dealing with this boy sh!t....

The son on the other hand is a freak...In the past we've talked about him always holding onto his junk, and his love of boobies...Well, there's something new in the mix...Goofing around with him the other day, I decided to give him a wedgie...He loved it...That's right, he loved it...Now he's asking for them...Dear God, what am I gonna do with Little Pervert Jr.?

That's all for now...Have a good week...

Later, The Beeze.

"The N Word"

Yes...That one!

WARNING: What you are about to read my offend you...It may upset you...It may make you think...You may agree...You may disagree...If this post does any of those things, then good...You felt something, or you thought about something...Even if that thought was, 'This guy is an asshole!' This post is about "The N Word," so I will be using it...Hopefully you'll get my point...

"The N Word" has two forms...The original, Nigger, and the more slang version, Nigga...

There are some who say Nigga is okay between people...I don't agree...I feel it has helped to take away some of the hate, and bitterness, that has always come with the word nigger...It also bothers me, that a word based on hate and racism, has now become as common as saying dude...You may think I'm off base, but Soulja Boy is about to back me up on this...




Honestly I stopped counting how many times he said nigga half way through...

As a society, we have taken a hated word, (except for racist people who like it) and make a common part of everyday life...

Then there is the media, who have done their part to weaken he word...When reporting on a story that features the word nigger...Don't block it out...Don't say, "The N Word." You just ruined the point of how hateful this word is...We hear, "the n Word" so much now...People don't even think about it...

Here's a news story about son dolt, who doesn't agree with the presidents health care plan...Fine, that's his right...And hell, go ahead and voice it...I don't think I would have posted the sign that says..."Obama's health care plan, nigger rig it." But he did...And the media who felt it was important to tell this story, decided to block out the word nigger, and say, "The N Word."



Now, I think the guy is 1) a dolt, and 2) a racist...Does he have the right...Yes...Will he take sh!t for it...Probably...But this dip shit is what this is all about...He's been saying nigger all his life, and always will...When I was a growing up, we didn't hear the word that often...It was something you didn't say...Here's a story from my youth, as well as my father's...

My great grandfather was killed by a black man for his work boots...This could have easily made my grandmother an angry racist white Irish Catholic woman...But she wasn't...A drunk yes...There was a few rules in here house...One being, if she ever heard you say nigger, or heard about you saying...She was going to hit you with a frying pan...One of my uncles found out this wasn't an empty threat...Ahhh, the good old days when you were aloud to discipline your child for being an ass...The same was told to us by our father..."You can't stop the hatred, if you're throwing around hateful words"...

But now, I hear it everyday...Everyday I hear the word nigga...I don't care what you say...It sounds like nigger...And to many people when they hear nigga, they think nigger...

Maybe I'm just on my high horse again, ranting about something that annoys the sh!t out of me...But racism is still alive and well...I don't think we'll ever get rid of it...But we could lessen it...You want to report on evil racist sh!t...Don't say, "The N Word." you sound like a child...Let people hear the venom in the word...You don't want to hear Johnny white boy call his buddy nigga, instead of dude...And then get offended by it...Stop saying nigga every 5th word...

Oh, and we should all threaten to blast our kids with frying pans...Although some little sh!t would call the cops on us...But that's a different rant for a different day...

I hope this drivel made some sense...If not, sorry...

Later, The Beeze.

I Wish These Were My Words...

I saw this tonight and had to share it...Just brilliant...

Typography from Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

How about those Patriots!?! In case you didn't know...Tom Brady is still the sh!t...He may be a little rusty...But he's the sh!t...People have been saying thathe's playing with a skirt on...Well, I've never seen anyone in a skirt, torch a defense like that before...

Hell even Maroney showed up this week!

For those of you who don't know, The Patriots Mollywopped the Titans Sunday, 59-0...Hell it was 45-0 at halftime...619 total yards of offense for the Pats...Brady threw for 380 yards and 6 touchdowns...I honestly don't even know why the Titans came back out on the field...My God the Browns looked better today against the Steelers...Derek Anderson was an amazing 9 for 24 this week...Baby steps fellas!

If I'm Jeff Fisher, it may be time to look at replacing some people...And I'm not just talking about players...How far this team has slipped from where they were last year, just amazes me...If you make the Browns and Rams look good...You're in trouble!

Moving on to just a little hockey...My beloved New York Rangers lost their season opener to the Pittsburgh Penguins...I of course heard about that from all my friends in the "Steel City." But since then, the Rangers have won 7 straight games...The Blue shirts are looking solid in both ends...Some may be surprised by that considering they have two rookies playing key roles on defense...Now I'd like to introduce you to this years Calder Trophy winner....Michael Del Zotto...

So far with 8 games under his belt he has 3 goals and 5 assists...Nice start kid!

Now most of my weekend was taken up by the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame...If you want to check out this past weekends Irish Hockey happenings...Or get my half in the bag write-up of the big game against USC...Feel free to pop over to the buzz...http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/

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On Saturday's game...Well, this guy WeeManExtras, does a great job summing up each weeks game...

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That's how I spent my Saturday...Stressing over another Notre Dame game...Not stressing out over the wonderful American Greetings/Hallmark Holiday, that is celebrated here in Ohio and a number of other places in the Great Lakes region...That's right...Sweetest Day! What? You don't celebrate that where you live? GOOD FOR YOU! It's a bunch of crap...It was started with good intentions, but was bastardized...Go figure! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetest_Day

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Oh wait, I did discover something delicious Saturday...Who doesn't like a BLT? Well if you don't, you're missing out...Anyway, BLT Dip...Holy un-f**king-healthy! Mayo, sour cream, Bacon, tomatoes, all mixed together...put it on crackers or toasted french bread...WOW! Kinda messed up, because there's no L in it...But I spruced it up...I added some scallions and a couple dashes of hot sauce...Very Good! And if that isn't unhealthy enough...Get some pepperoni...Thicker slice then what you get on pizza...Bread it...Deep fry it...Dip it in ranch...I can hear myself getting fatter right now!

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I want to say thanks to everyone who sent their best, when they read that my daughter had the not so mighty H1N1...She's doing great...And she'll be back in school on Monday...

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Speaking of school...Thursday we had parent teacher conferences...First up...The boy...Oh sh!t...I have to say, I was shocked...At school he is a perfect student...Always listens...Helps others...Is ahead of the curve with his numbers and letters...He's well behaved, and has good manners...WTF! They get the good stuff, and I get the non-stop pain in the ass, little ball of hate!

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Then it was time for my daughters conference...We knew it would be good...She's smart like her mom, and basically a good kid all the way around...It was clear that her teacher doesn't really give a sh!t about getting to know her 2nd grade students...If the kids names weren't on the folder she wouldn't know them...The conference was all about testing and test results...Now clearly our daughter is learning, she's doing well in everything, but I always like it when teachers make things interesting...

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Then she showed us a test that they do each month...It has to do with how many words the kids can read in a minute...The goal for the end of the school year is 90...(goal=state standards)...When our daughter took it in September, she was at 92 words...92 words bitch! What does this hatchet wound say? Not 'that's great'...Not 'you should be really proud'...Which we are...No sort of compliment...She just says, "We don't want that to slip. We want to keep building on that." No sh!t you dolt! Maybe I'm taking this to heart to much...Or misreading it...But this woman pissed me off...And just by looking at her, you can tell...sex with your pillow would be more exciting then throwing her a hump!

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Well that's all for me right now...I'm hooked on this game that's on facebook, called Cafe World...

Have a great week...

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Later, The Beeze.

John Lennon said...

..."Instant Karma's gonna get you."

Well many of you know, I'm not down with that Karma stuff...I'm not knocking you if that's your thing...It's just not for me...I look at as an excuse people use when sh!t that happens...Or to try to prove their point when something good happens...Hey, John Lennon also said, "Whatever gets you through the night."

Well Friday I was blasting some things in a blog post including the H1N1 hype...You can check it here...http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2009/10/really.html

I'd be willing to bet there's some one out there today saying the Beeze got a dose of Karma today...My first response would be 'F**K YOU!' Followed by a smarmy 'I don't believe and that sh!t.'

You see today we found out after a week of our daughter not feeling well, and a up and down fever, and an awful cough, that she has the H1N1 flu...That's right...My little girl got the "Some Mexican was humping a pig flu."

Well, I'm not here to apologize...I'm not here to ask the God's for forgivness...I'm here to tell you the truth...

I WAS RIGHT!

The pig f**ker flu isn't living up to the hype...Our little girl is kicking it's ass...She's was begging to go to school tomorrow...She's eating well...The fever has stayed down for two days...She has a really bad cough still, but the doctor gave us a prescription for some serious knockout cough syrup...she's snoring away...The doctor said the've seen a lot of cases...A lot more then what's been reported...They're aren't testing every case, because most have been mild...The ones they are concerned about are the kids that have bronchitis or asthma or get it on top of having something like strep...

So if you, or your child have one of those problems, stay on top of it...But don't let the media panic machine make you crazy...

We asked the doctor if there was anything else we needed to do...She replied with, "It's a form of the flu...Just treat it like the flu."

Lot's of fluids! Hell, I'm gonna grab one now...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

I thought we'd start this week with some Blues...


As I write this, I'm not sure if it will be a stormy Monday...But most of last week was here in Cleveland...But in the Sports world...It was a storm Sunday....Smells like a sh!t storm in Boston...

Yep, that seems to be seeping from the the pitcher's mound at Fenway, where Jonathan Papelbon took a big steaming dump all over the place! Look, he's lining up to take another one!

Well now Baseball season is officially over for the Beeze...I just hope the Yankees don't win it all...Anyone but them!

Then my adopted football team lost to the Broncos...You know, I've always felt Quarterbacks get too much credit for wins, and too much blame for loses...Unless they throw 3-4 picks...Then f**k them, it's their fault...But you know who doesn't get enough credit...A guy who doesn't lose games for his team...A guy who's teams win when he plays...Who is this? Denver's Kyle Orton...This kid just wins, and I'm sure no one in Colorado is missing Jay Cutler right now...Orton and the Broncos took down my Patriots Sunday...I wonder how bitter the hoodie feels after losing to his ex-assistant Josh MaDaniels...I'm thinking it's gonna be a rough week at practice in Foxboro!

Since we're talking about things that stink...How about those Brownies...They had a big win Sunday against the Bills...In a battle to see who had the best punter...yes the Browns won...It may have been the ugliest win ever...6-3 and plenty of sloppy football...Oh, coach Mangina...Who's gonna be the QB next week? Now that Anderson has had the same amount of playing time as Brady Quinn...Are we gonna bring in some one else...Because D. A. was stellar this week...2 completions on 17 attempts, for 23 yards...And of course an interception! Nothing like QB rating of 15.1! I don't want to hear the apologists bring up the dropped passes...Quinn had the douches dropping passes...Apparently that's just how it's gonna be on this team...

Anderson's numbers so far...1 TD...5 INT...384 Yards...39.0 Rating

Quinn's numbers...1 TD...3 INT...400 Yards...62.9 Rating...

Like I said last week...It doesn't matter who plays QB...This team sucks!I know I've used these before...But what the hell...I'm a disgruntled Clevelander, and they're funny...It's funny 'cause it's true!



In case you didn't get the point...


Sorry about that Detroit!

Hockey Season has started, and I've managed to catch a few games through the Center Ice Package...Although I'm still battling with DIRECTV, and that Dummy Gary Bettman...(scroll down to read that rant)...Stop making it so hard for people to watch your product douche bags!

I have to admit to something now...I'm one of those guys...A guy that likes to rock a hockey jersey...I love being able to do the old, shorts and a hockey jersey...That's f**king fashion there!

I've been a fan of the Minnesota Wild jerseys since they've been around...This year they have a new third jersey...I'm diggin' it...They even snuck in a little tribute to the old North Stars...

The College Hockey Season got started this weekend...Yeah, I'm that guy too...I pay attention to college hockey...My Fighting Irish spilt their season opening series...You can check it out at the Irish Buzz...http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/

I'm feeling pretty tired...I still haven't caught up from Saturday night...The wife and I went out with friends...I was drinking a great Japanese beer called Asahi...I'll be posting a review in the next day or two of Hibachi Japanese Steak House...Those always seem to have a "Happy Ending!"

That's all for now...No little Beeze stories right now...My 7 year old daughter shit herself tonight, and well, I just don't want write about that right now...

Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

REALLY?

I got some serious what the f**k going on today...It all started when I heard the President was named the winner of The Nobel Peace Prize...

This isn't a crack on President Obama...Some dopes decided to give this to him...Why? No one has really been able to give me a good answer...Is it because of his great speeches and grandiose promises? I don't know...But I think it's a bunch of horse sh!t...

How about this...At the beginning of Spring Training, Indians pitcher Aaron Laffey will promise to win 22 games, with an ERA under 2.00 and at least 180 stikeouts...Okay...Now give him the CY Young Award! F**king ridiculous, yes?

Then I was chatting with some co-workers about the H1N1 hype, and whether or not we should get the vaccination...This is some more horse sh!t...First off all flu vaccines are nothing but guess work in a white coat...Plus this one was so rushed, they don't know if they got it right...Then there's always the side effects...You know, like the really good ones when you take a vaccine, and it ends up giving you the very thing you wanted to prevent...No thank you Dr.

And who's to say this isn't all a bunch of drummed up crap...You know...A little population control, mixed with a health scare, to help push through some health care reform...(yes I've become very un-trusting these days)...Don't get me wrong, I hate insurance companies, and I want to see some REAL health care reform...But these dolts in Washington don't give a sh!t about what we think or want...

And since I'm ranting about this crap...People die every year from some type of flu...That's just the way it is...Listen the majority of flu deaths are the elderly or infants...Those with the weakest immune system...That's right we have an immune system to fight of sicknesses and build up a tolerance against them...The rest of the flu deaths, I chalk up to people being f**king idiots...If you get that sick after all this H1N1 hype, and don't go to doctor to be treated...Not only are you an idiot...Now you're dead idiot...Thank you, more air for me to breathe!

Next up in my happy little crock-pot of rage tonight...After picking up the kids and going to the bank we were on our way to DUNKIN' DONUTS for a treat and I needed some coffee...So We're on our merry way, and I kinda didn't make a complete stop at a stop sign...But hear me out...I was the only traffic...There was nobody coming from any other direction at this 3-way stop...But who's parked around the corner in his not so looking like a police car, car...That's right...Johnny Law...Right up my ass...

As he walked to my window I already had mi license and proof of insurance ready for him...Why fight it...I knew what I did...He said, "you know, you should stop at those stop signs." I of course, as always show police officers respect, and said..."Yes sir, I kinda rolled that one...Sorry about that." He went back to his car and I sat there with the little Beeze busting my balls...He comes back with a ticket...I'm not saying I don't deserve it...I'm not trying to be an asshole...BUT...Give me a break...There's bigger problems then me rolling a stop sign at an empty intersection...But whatever...Then I find out the fine...$120...F**K YOU! That's insane!

My taxes that went up twice this year aren't enough...Now you gotta jack up the traffic violation fines...Last year I got a ticket for speeding...I was doing 48 in a 25...The fine was $75...The scale seems off to me...Whatever...Protect and serve this!

Then we get home...I get the mail...What's in there? The latest Sporting News...This stupid rag's subscription hasn't run out yet...It was once good...Now it totally sucks...I look at the cover and see Sidney 'take a dive' Crosby and Ben Rothlisberger, with his big, fat, retarded, Shrek face...I wanted to puke...

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Then I see they named Pittsburgh their #1 sports city this year...Then I puked! Not so much because it was Pittsburgh...But because I live in Cleveland, and I've seen how Pittsburgh has progressed and changed itself...Not just sports wise...But as a city as a whole...Okay that, and seeing Crosby and Rothlisberger on the cover...I hate those two douche bags!

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Okay, enough ranting for tonight...Let's end with a song...I've had this one stuck in my head for awhile...Here it is unplugged..."The End is Where We Begin"

Later, The Beeze.

An Open Letter to DirecTV and the NHL

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Look at that...The Trinity of f**king stupidity!

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I've been a subscriber of DirecTV for 6 years...I've had the Center Ice Package through DirecTV for 4 of those years...BTW that costs an extra $130 a year...What can I say, I love hockey...And those dummies running the NHL can't get a quality TV deal done...They've been trying with Versus, and honestly that's the only thing I ever watched on Versus...I'm just not into Bull Riding...

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But now the owners of Versus are in a battle with DirecTV...They want DirecTV to charge guys like me more to carry their crappy channel...I was okay with DirecTV taking a stand...But then the NHL season started...Last week the New York Rangers took on the Pittsburgh Penguins...The game was to be on the NHL Network...I put it on, and it was blacked out...So via the Center Ice Package I went to the Rangers feed of the game...Blacked out...Then I went to the Penguins feed...Blacked out...What the f**k am I paying you a$$holes for!?!

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So tonight I put on the NHL Network to watch the Penguins take on the Coyotes...Blacked out...Again I go to the other feeds...Blacked out...So now I'm pissed...More then normal...I cal DirecTV...I got passed around to five different people who couldn't answer a single question...One dolt didn't even know what hockey was...One douche said, well did you check you local channels...A$$hole, my local channels don't show hockey, that's why I pay so much to get the games...

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The last dip shit, was the most helpful...He explained that the code on a blacked out channel (727) means the league blacked it out...He said most likely because of low ticket sales...WTF!?! So I asked him this...I started by saying, "I know you have nothing to do with this but it just doesn't make sense...The NHL is struggling to compete with all other sports...If you want to sell your product, and tickets, why the hell would you withhold your product from being seen?" Some dope could be passing by the NHL Network and stop and watch a little...He may get into it...Next thing you know he's going to a game...Does that make sense to anyone else?

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This guy also told me there's nothing they can do about the black outs and there's no one he can pass my complaint up to...I replied with..."I'm paying DirecTV for a service they carry for the NHL...The NHL is getting their cut...DirecTV is getting their cut...And I'm not getting the f**king service I pay for..." He was quiet for a second...Then he said, "is there anything else sir?" I said, "Yes...You're getting paid for what you do, right?" he of course said yes..."You and your company are taking my money, but not providing the service I paid for...How are you going to fix this?" Douchey McDouche says, "We can't control what the league does, we're just the carrier." I came back with..."But you're not carrying it!"

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He again was quiet...Then, "Is there anything else sir?" I of course said, "Yes...1) I'll be looking for a new provider, and 2) Drop dead!"

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I had been a big fan of DirecTV...I had pimped them to friends and family...Now, my list of missions has grown...Taking those douche bags down is at the top...Oh, and Gary Bettman and the NHL...You're on the list too...Could you market your product any worse...It's bad enough you can't figure out how to pitch your sport to the casual fan...Joe F**king Average...But now your continuously pissing off your base...May you all rot in hell!

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GO SCREW!

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The Beeze

Is Fishing a Sport?

Seriously...I'm asking...For quite some time people have asked if certain things are sports...Is bowling a sport...Is Golf a sport...Is Auto Racing a sport...Is Fishing a sport...

When I was younger I would say none of them are...I thought they were activities...But I tried playing Golf...It was f**king ugly...Bowling I always thought of as a game...But I could except it as a sport...Because you're competing against some one else...So I guess the same would go for Auto Racing...

Recently the topic of Fishing came up on the Opie & Anthony show...I know they're show isn't every one's cup of tea...But for me...it hits the spot...So they're talking about fishing...A couple of callers chime in with their thoughts...Eventually this sets off Comedian Jim Norton, who is a member of the show....About 4 and half minutes into this clip Norton loses it on the caller...Telling him fishing isn't a sport...Repeatedly..."You have a hook and the fish has nothing but hunger...How is that a sport?"





I use to fish when I was kid...Then I realized I wasn't going to get blown if I was standing in the river trying catch something I was allergic to...

I'll agree with Jimmy...Fishing isn't a sport...And if you're offended by this in any way...Please, get over yourself...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

What a weekend! It all started with Friday...The little Beeze turned 5 years old...Time is flying...After dinner, and opening some of his gifts, we got the little guy and his sister ready for bed...He hadn't been feeling 100%...A couple days earlier he had a some shots and was feeling some side effects...But before bed, he informed my wife that he "loves kissing and licking boobies!" That's my boy!

During the night he woke up with a slight fever...I gave him Motrin...he started feeling better around 2:00 AM...Then he was wide awake...So there I am watching Nick Jr. with him at two in the morning...He crashed sometime after 3:00AM...

Saturday we got ready for the big bowling birthday party...We got to the bowling alley and got everything set...Then waited for people to show...6 girls and 1 boy later, it was time for bumper bowling...That's right, there was only one other little boy there...My boy was in his glory with all the little girls...5-8 year olds, Bowling, eating pizza, hot dogs, and grilled cheese, cake, presents...Oh the noise...Thank God there's a bar in this place!

So after that, I'm looking to chill out and watch a little Fighting Irish football...The Irish aren't real big on letting me relax...But they pulled out another victory...A 37-30 overtime win over the Washington Huskies...http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/2009/10/irish-beat-washington-37-30-in-overtime.html



Then came Sunday...I had a lot on my mind...For those who don't hangout at the Gab http://www.yougabsports.com/ ...I have decided to give up on the Cleveland Browns...1) they suck, and have since they returned in 1999...2) This isn't my Browns...My team left...3) I hate the coach...just another in a long line of douche bag coaches this organization has hired...4) I've spent my life rooting for losers in this town...I became a free agent fan...I wagered my fandom on one game...The original Browns...The Baltimore Ravens vs. the New England Patriots...

Well, it's official...I'm now a New England Patriots fan...

By the way...The Cleveland Clowns lost to the Bengals in overtime...I gotta say, I was really pissed the game wasn't blacked out...Nothing can ruin a Sunday afternoon like watching the Browns...

Sunday morning, I decided to take my mind off this crazy football nonsense...Mrs. Beeze went into work for a few hours...I had been promising to take the kids to Build-A-Bear...If you've never done this, here's a few pointers...1) You better have plenty of money...Or be able to say no to your kids...2) Bring your patience...But if your a push-over like me, you'll be okay with it, when you see how happy the kids are...The girl got a Jonas Brothers Puppy with sparkly pants and a T-shirt...Yes, they have clothes to dress your animal up in....The boy got a monkey with khakis a button down shirt and a sweater vest...The finally tally at Build-A-Bear was about $80...It's gonna be some time before we go back...

I picked up a new Red Sox hoodie for the playoffs...I scouted for Ravens gear...Luckily they lost...'Cause finding Ravens sh!t in Cleveland just ain't happening...I also picked up a new purse for the wife...Just trying to get some!

They keep saying the economy sucks...Well I did my part, and there were tons of people at this mall...And yes, it was a real mall...You know, where you go inside a big ass building that's full of stores, and has a food court...

I don't know what it's like everywhere else, but here they keep building these malls that are a bunch of stores that aren't connected...Maybe that's why more people shop online during the holidays...They don't want to keep walking into a store...Unbuttoning there coats, taking off hats, all that crap...Then have to bundle up and go back outside, and walk to another shop...It's f**king stupid...It gets cold here...It snows...What the f**k are you dummies thinking?

Anyway, I'm done b!tching about that...It was a crazy weekend, but fun...Hope yours was good...Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

"Honesty is Such a Lonely Word"

This is another one of those silly things from facebook...

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose at least 8 people to be tagged. Don't forget to tag me!

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? CHERRY PIE...AND SURPRISINGLY I'M NOT TALKING IN A SEXUAL WAY!

2.Where was your profile picture taken? MY KITCHEN

3.Can you play Guitar Hero? NO, BUT I CAN PLAY GUITAR...SO I THINK I'M BETTER OFF!

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? LITTLE BEEZE...AND JURK OF COURSE

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? 2:00 AM THAT'S JUST HOW I ROLL.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? YES! YES! Y-E-F**KING-S! YES!

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? NO, I DON'T LIVE IN A STUPID DREW BARRYMORE MOVIE!

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? I DON'T KNOW...CHECK MAPQUEST!

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? YES

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? I LOVE IT!

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? DOES LAUGHING SO HARD THAT I CRIED COUNT...'CAUSE THAT HAPPENED WATCHING "MY BEST FRIENDS GIRL"...THE PART WHERE DANE COOK DROPS HIS PANTS IN FRONT OF HIS GIRLFRIENDS MOTHER AND SAY, "IT'S NOT GONNA SUCK ITSELF MOMMA!"

12. Who took your profile picture? I DID

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? MY DAUGHTER

14. Was yesterday better than today? SLIGHTLY...BUT ONLY BECAUSE I GOT A BLOW JOB!

15. Can you live a day without TV? YES

16. Are you upset about anything? WHEN AM I NOT?

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? YES

18. Are you a bad influence? I HOPE SO!

19. Night out or night in? I DON'T KNOW...WHO AM I SPENDING THE NIGHT IN?

20. What items could you not go without during the day? PC...LUBE

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? MY MOM

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? NO TEXTING HERE

23. How do you feel about your life right now? PRETTY GOOD

24. Do you hate anyone? DO YOU WANT A LIST?

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find? MESSAGES I HAVEN'T DELETED...(WHAT STUPID QUESTION)

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? YES

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? YEAH...WHAT A DOLT SHE WAS!

28. What song is stuck in your head? "THE END IS WHERE WE BEGIN"

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? THE ONLY WOMAN MY WIFE WOULD BE WILLING TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH!

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? NO...i JUST DID THE MATH...NO F**KING WAY!

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? WORK...GET THINGS READY FOR MY SON'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

32. Do you think too much or too little? WAY TOO MUCH!

33. Do you smile a lot? HOW COULD I NOT!?!

Later, The Beeze.