Saturday, January 31, 2009
I Hate Ice and Snow....
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Got to leave early because there was no business...Cleaned off the car....Picked up the kids....Drive home was better until my street...It still hadn't seen a plow....Neighbor was stuck in the street trying to get in his driveway...Got out of the car and helped push him in....Then I got stuck trying to get in my driveway...Got the kids in the house...Got the car dug out and in the driveway...
Got inside and changed...Got the kids a snack...Checked e-mail...Went to You Gab Sports for a little while....Started washing the dishes....Heard the plow come down...Son of a b!tch....Had to go shovel the apron of the driveway so the wife could get in....Made dinner...Pork chops, mashed potatoes, and corn....Played with the kids....Gave them a bath....got them to bed....
Then my wife told me our daughter has a crush on one of the Jonas Brothers...Crush!!! She's 7...No f**king crushes yet...Then I tried to calm down...I said, "Well I've got a crush on Taylor Swift...In a Year!"
My wife was not amused...."You're a pig...she's a little young!"
That's why I said in a year...Then I hit her with a line from the movie Beautiful Girls...."If she can cut her own food, she's fair game." (it's a great movie...check it out)
That was followed by a..."You're an ass...Go play on your computer." Which also means I'm not getting any tonight...But don't worry the Beeze always HANDLES his business....
Seriously though...Taylor Swift is good looking...If I had the chance, when she's legal...I'd knock the baby powder off that ass....I know I'm a pig...Deal with it...
That's it for now.
Later, the Beeze.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
25 Things About Me
Monday, January 26, 2009
To Whom it May Concern........
I'm not posting my traditional "Monday Moaning" because I'm pissed, and not because the Fighting Irish didn't play hockey this weekend....I'm pissed because somebody took it upon themselves to back link my blog, on others blogs...I'm not sure of their intentions....
Stranger, if you were trying to be an a$$hole...Good job...There are people mad that my blog had a link on theirs....Oh, by the way I don't need a pimp...
If your intention was to pimp my blog...to get more readers...no thanks...I'm not a whore...Okay maybe a little one...But I'm not your whore...Maybe you didn't mean to piss me off...Maybe you thought you were doing a favor...Thanks, but no thanks...As my friend JURK says..."If I wanted a favor, I'd stick my D!CK in a glory hole."
If people want to read the crap I write, they can search it out, just as I searched out the blogs I read....
So I am asking kindly....This is my release...This is something that helps me through my days...So please leave my words, and thoughts alone...Leave my Blogs alone....Leave me alone....
Do you think you are the only person who knows how to use a computer? Do you really want to f**k with people you don't know...
I'm not looking for an apology, just to be left alone....
Again, maybe your intentions were good, but I haven't seen it that way....
So please leave me and my blogs alone....You wouldn't want to get pistol whipped and then watch an angry, Irish, prick from Cleveland skull f*ck your mother....
On the lighter side....To the douches that try to comment on my blogs, by simply posting an ad...I have a list of things for you to do....
A. Lick me!!!
B. I moderate so it ain't happening.
C. Suck me!!!
D. I'm not gonna buy your sh!t.
E. Swallow that load you dirty pig!!!
F. Drop Dead!!!
I think I got all the anger out...I'm laughing as I'm reading this over...
That is all for now...The Beeze.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Ask Doctor Beeze
You may be asking yourself what's with the title...Well gang the Beeze has a PhD in sh!t talkin' and bullsh!ttin'....So I thought I would put these skills to use...So I'm going to start taking questions from readers...Leave your questions in the comments section, and I will post my advice/answers....
I have recently been asked a few questions, and I thought I would share them with you, along with my answers...
The first question comes from Tim in Cleveland..."Why won't my wife give me a BLUMPY?"
First for those who don't know...A BLUMPY is when a women...or man gives you a blow job while you're taking a crap....Well Tim, you sick f**k, Your wife probably won't give you a BLUMPY because, because she has self-respect...Oh and because it's gross...Yes I know the combination of getting your knob slobbed, and dropping a deuce at the same time feels great, but only for you...That's the type of thing hookers do...good hookers...not your wife.
The next question is from a JURK...http://turkthejurk.blogspot.com/
"Why do My co-workers give me sh!t about being such a huge Radiohead fan?"
Well Jurk, it's because even though Radiohead is talented, many people are tools and just want to hear hits...They want another "Creep"...The other reason is that those cats from Radiohead seem like a bunch of fruits, and even though the people you work with play grab-a$$, and the "penis showing game" they are still somehow homophobic.
I hope this was helpful...Feel free to ask the Beeze your questions...T
Take it easy, the Beeze.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Rise Above It "Super Bowl" Party
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday the Lakers battled the Irish to a 3-3 tie...In the national ranking it will be scored as a tie...But in the CCHA they finish what they start...The game went to a shootout, where the Irish won 2-1.
The goal scorers in regulation were Ben Ryan, Erik Condra, and Kevin Deeth...In the shootout Billy Mayday, and Calle Ridderwall scored....Jordan Pearce made 11 saves in regulation, and OT...In the shootout he stopped 2 of the 3 shooters...Notre Dame's record now stands at 19-3-3.
I was gonna write more tonight...I felt a little extra rage...But then I heard from an old friend who has been serving in the military for the last 13 years...So what do I really need to rant about...It can wait...I'm gonna go talk to him some more.
Later, The BEEZE.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The BEEZE'S Hump Day Survey
1. Steelers vs Ravens....Who wins?
Let's throw something different in this week...Maybe something a little more personal...
3. What is your biggest pet peeve?
4. Should Tim Thomas be the starting goalie for the East over Carey Price, in this year's NHL All-Star game?
6. What do you prefer...Duck Confit or Subway?
b. Brad Pitt
c. Ryan Reynolds
As always, read and respond.
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Beeze Plays the Interview Game
So yesterday on Broken Mannequin http://brokenmannequin.blogspot.com/2009/01/interview-game.html
Charli participated in The Interview Game....Here are the rules...
•Leave me a comment requesting an interview.
•I will e-mail you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
•You then answer the questions on your blog.
•You should also post these rules along with an offer to interview anyone else who e-mails you wanting to be interviewed.
•Anyone who asks to be interviewed should be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog.
•It would be nice if the questions were individualized for each blogger.So I will follow the rules and offer to interview anyone who would like to play.
Here are the questions Charli asked me,with my answers....I will answer honestly no matter how bad it may make me look.
1. If you walked out of your house one day and noticed a bird with a broken wing huddled in some nearby bushes, what would you do?
If I actually noticed, I would feel bad for the bird, but most likely move on to what I needed to do....I'm an a$$.
2. If there was a public execution on television, would you watch it?
Yes....I have no real reason other than I've never seen it, and I just think I would tune in.
3. Would you like to know the precise date of your death?No....I don't want to live my life watching the clock...Somethings should remain a surprise.
4. Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time, but haven't done it? If so, what is it? And why haven't you done it?
Yes....Before my wife and I were technically dating, I wrote a song...Inspired by her,and for her...I recorded it and gave it to her....Close friends and family have heard it, but I have never performed it in front of an audience, and told them the inspiration...Why I haven't done it...Just like some would think reading Broken Mannequin wouldn't be "my style"...The song doesn't seem to fit "my style."
So if I was going to analyze myself, I would say it's because I fear showing certain parts of myself to others.
5. When did you last yell at someone?
Yesterday...My son...The same reason as always...He wasn't listening again....Then I caught him putting Thomas the train stickers all over the walls.
So there are my answers...If you want to play, let me know....If you want to bust my balls that's fine too....Here let me get a little sports in....Jim Rice finally got in the Hall of Fame....It's about time.
Later, The Beeze.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
On the Hockey front, there's something that's been bothering for awhile now....each week I watch Hockey Night in Canada...I'm not Canadian, but from what I know, it was always a big deal for our neighbors to the north...But what's bugging me is that 99% of the time, the Prime-time game is a Maple Leafs game...There's other teams in Canada fellas, try spreading the love around...By the way, the Leafs aren't that good...Please stop cramming them down our throats....
My beloved New York Rangers lost Friday in a shoot out against Buffalo...Saturday they came back strong and blanked the Ottawa Senators....
Then Sunday came, and so did I....Oh sorry...More fun out in the snow with the monsters...My son hasn't figured out how to snowball fight yet...He seems to like getting hit...He makes a very good target...My daughter was getting revenge finally for all the crap he gives her...He took one in the face, that gave him a shiner and he was just laughing....The kid is insane...
After that it was time for more football....The Eagles got it done again, and I know I shouldn't but, I'm saying they're going to the "Super Bowl"...I'm so glad the Giants lost....I can't stand Eli Manning, or the whole Manning family for that matter....Then the Steelers knocked off the Chargers...They seemed to be firing on all cylinders today...Ravens vs Steelers next week....This is gonna be a good one folks.....
Next up, my favorite part...Notre Dame Hockey....This weekend the Fighting Irish took on the Nanooks from Alaska....
Friday the Irish won 2-0...The goal scorers were....Ryan Thang, and Senior, captain Erik Condra....Goalie Jordan Pearce made 16 saves to earn the shutout, and the victory.
Saturday night Pearce recorded his 4th shutout of the season, and 8th of his career on, as the Irish beat the Nanooks 3-0....The goal scores were...Christian Hanson, Ben Ryan, and Ryan Thang.
This weekends victories take the #1 ranked Irish to a 18-3-2 record....Next weekend Notre Dame travels to Lake Superior State for two games.
I hope everybody had a good weekend...I'll catch you later,
One more thing...TCP, you may want to check this out for your little, and anyone else who has a Thomas the train fan in their house.....
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Fighting Irish Getting it Done, On and Off the Ice
TFtFH: C*ck Blocked by a Tw*t
This week Tales From the Fish House looks at me getting shot down, and the wonderful world of lesbians....So lets get to it....
Long before there was a Mrs. Beeze, I was a horny f**ker, trying to get as much as humanly possible...This was 12-13 years ago...It's kinda blurry....A new server had started at the Fish House...She was a good looking blond with nice big creamers....We'll call her Karrie...We use to call her tits for brains....So like all new good looking servers I started spittin' some game at her...
Finally one night after work about five of us, Karrie included went out boozin' after work...I was doing well, but then my toughest competition moved in....Tanya...We referred to Tanya as "the Man"....She got more a$$ then all of us guys combined...Yes Tanya is a lesbian, and a very good one at that....we're both leaving it all out on the field...This was a last man standing match now....Eventually Tanya starts acting drunker then she is..."Karrie do you think you could give me a ride home?"
Are you sh!tting me? Karrie tells the rest of us she'll be right back....Well I closed that joint, and she never came back...But I knew that was gonna happen...Tanya is Ohio's number one muff diver...Her moto..."No Muff to Tuff"...For a chick, she was c*ck strong....That night was the beginning of a 3 year relationship between Karrie & Tanya...Unfortunately it ended ugly...Karrie began seeing her ex-boyfriend on the side, and got knocked up....Tanya flipped....She sought revenge by getting every young, hot, hostess, bartender, and server to give it a try...just once...She had some repeat business...
One time I was fortunate enough to hear Tanya and this one knock-out going at it...I had plenty of beat material in my head....I didn't even make it home...I handled myself on the drive home.
Karrie is still around the Fish House...We're good friends...She lives with her baby's father, but they're not together....It's f**ked up.
How about a recipe?
This week we have Grandma McBeeze's Potato Soup...
1 green pepper...diced
1 large onion...diced
6 stalks of celery...diced
6 strips of bacon...chopped
12 potatoes...chopped, cubed, whatever.
1 t basil
1 t oregano
1 t thyme
S & P...to taste
1 c vegetable broth
2 pints of Guinness
3 qrts heavy cream
Saute Bacon until crisp....Add green pepper, onion, celery, carrot, garlic....Saute for a couple minutes, and add basil, oregano, and tyme, S & P, and Guinness...let it reduce by half...add veggie broth, and potatoes....Let it simmer for 5-8 minutes...Add heavy cream, and let simmer until potatoes are soft...Check seasoning.
Later, the Beeze.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Beeze's Hump Day Survey
4. Who wins...Cardinals or Panthers?
5. Who wins...Steelers or Chargers?
Or this bearskin rug......
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Why Should I Feel Bad For Oprah?
It's bad enough that she's on TV crying...But the why really pisses me off. There she is with her "doctor" (shrink) telling us about her problems....Her problems!!!
Now I know Oprah has done countless charity work, and I truly believe she is a good person....A good person with a big fat ego, that needs even more attention....But the last thing somebody worth 2.7 billion dollars should do, is go on TV crying about chips being her drug of choice...Funny how none of these fat f**ks ever say that salad was their drug of choice....And lets be honest, you sound like a dummy calling food a drug....If you want a drug problem chunky butt get yourself some blow...It'll help you keep the weight off too.
It was also said Oprah "lost her zest for life." Really crybaby? If being worth 2.7 billion dollars takes away your zest for life, then sign me up.
Listen...I get it you have problems.....So does everyone else, and we don't have the money for personal trainers, and personal chefs, and dietitians....You do twat-zilla....So I honestly don't give a $h!t about your problems....There are a lot of people suffering and struggling out there everyday....Just trying to keep their head above water....And all they do is knuckle up and keep plugging away....Trying to beat there problems...Trying to keep their homes...Trying to make it another day....They don't go on TV crying about being fat, and how it's so hard to put down the chips....Shut the f**k up...hit the gym...and mix in a salad fatty.
I just had to get that off my chest....Sorry if it offends you...But not real sorry.
On the lighter side...A pal of my started a blog last night. His blogs name is "What a Jurk" If you don't like the band Linkin Park, you'll love his first post.
Check him out....http://turkthejurk.blogspot.com/
That's all for now, later,
Monday, January 5, 2009
What has Happened to My Post Holiday Blues
You see ever since I was a kid, I would get bummed out on Christmas night...All the excitement was done....No more Christmas movies or music....All that buildup and poof..It's over...This got a little better as I got older...I still had New Years to look forward to...Then at the end of New Years Day the blues would kick in...
But this year it's different....I don't know why, but I got just a slight twinge of the blues X-mas night....But it passed quickly...And honestly New Years I felt nothing...No blues at all.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Let's start at the end this time....Normally I end Monday Moaning with some Fighting Irish Hockey news....Well it's fresh in my head, so I'm starting off with it this time.
This weekend the Irish hosted the Shillelagh Tournament in Hoffman Estates Illinois...the other teams participating were U-Mass Lowell (8-8), Minnesota-Duluth (8-4-6), and Union College (8-7-1)...Besides getting a chance at the number one ranked Fighting Irish (14-3-2), these teams along with Notre Dame got to attend the Winter Classic at Wrigley Field on New Years Day...Nice bonus.
Friday the Irish defeated Union 3-1....The Notre Dame goal scorers were...Justin White, Ben Ryan, and Dan Kissel....Goalie Jordan Pearce made 20 save in the victory.
Saturday Notre Dame beat Minnesota-Duluth 3-1 for the tournament title....The Irish goal scorers were Garrett Regan with 2, and Ryan Thang....Pearce made 19 saves on his way to being named the tournaments Most Outstanding Player.
Next up...Let's talk a little College Football...Two games this week made me really happy...First Ole Miss beating Texas Tech....I don't know what it is, but I always find myself rooting for Houston Nut...How can you not cheer for a guy named NUT? i love his fire, and he always gets his teams up for big games....The other game was Utah taking down Alabama....The Utes rolled right over the Tide, and I loved it....I've got nothing against Alabama, except that I hate Nick Saban...I love seeing the non-BCS schools do well...especially when you think about it and realize that Utah and some other teams out there would own the BIG LEAST....The system is broken and needs to be fixed....I'm not Saying the Utes should be #1, but they should have a fair crack at it.
That said, USC looked tough against Penn State, and their victory also makes me think there should be a playoff....I'd love to see the Trojans against Oklahoma, or Florida, or Texas, or Utah....How great College Football could be.
What's next? How about the NFL playoffs...Arizona's defense knuckled up against Atlanta....The Chargers took out League MVP (my a$$) Peyton Manning and the Colts....Baltimore and Ed Reed put the Dolphins in their place....And the once dead Eagles knocked the Vikings out....I broke even for the weekend, but it was close.....I can't wait for next week.
Now I'm jumping off sports for minute here....While playing with my son today he was telling me how glad he was that Santa brought him his Thomas the Train Adventure Canyon....He loves trains and he has played with this thing so much...It's really cool, and it wasn't that hard to put together....With all the train tracks in this house I've become an expert....I already knew he was happy with it, but it was nice to hear....My daughter let us know right away how pleased she was with her big ticket items....She got the Barbie Cruise Ship....Which took me a little longer to figure out it's construction...Haven't spent much time at sea....She also loves her Easy Bake Oven....Like Father like Daughter....She actually asked Santa for that for her and Mom, because Mom doesn't cook so well, and she didn't get one when she was a little girl...How f**king sweet is that?
So this got me thinking.....What was my favorite gift as a kid...It took me some time to think about....Their was the Ryne Sanberg jersey my dad got me when I was 10....There was the Gretzky model Titan stick my brother got me when I was 12....There were countless toys...But then it came to me....It's something I still have, and I'll probably give it to the little Beeze....My first goalie mask...I got it when I was 13....My Dad said if you're gonna be a goalie, you should look like one....So now I ask....what was your favorite Childhood gift?
By the way, my favorite gift this year was a book my wife got me, called Saving Face...The Art and History of the Goalie Mask....It's sweet.
That's it for now.
Later, The BEEZE.