This seems like a bit of a negative post...So lets end with a little music to bring our spirits back up...Here'a the Opie & Anthony Show's remake of "We Are the World" inspired by that awful remake that was just done by a bunch of auto-tuned hacks!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Monday Moaning
This seems like a bit of a negative post...So lets end with a little music to bring our spirits back up...Here'a the Opie & Anthony Show's remake of "We Are the World" inspired by that awful remake that was just done by a bunch of auto-tuned hacks!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Is This B!tch For Real?
On the left of this picture is porn star, Veronica Swik-Daniels...On the right is her lawyer Gloria Allred, who is ready to sue...This gash...This hatchet wound...This slut...Is pissed off that Tiger Woods did not apologize to her...She feels that after having a 3 year affair with him, she is due some respect, and a personal apology...
Apology for what? Using you as one of his many personal cum-catchers...You knew who he was...You knew he was married...You knew he was a man whore...You knew he wasn't gonna drop everything for you...Listen and watch this nonsense...
So the super twat lawyer says she quit her career as a porn actress...Well during her 3 years as one of Tiger's load catchers, she made 16 porn films...Doesn't sound like she quit to me...
She wants an apology...Are you for f**king real? Seriously whore...You should apologize be the one apologizing...'For what?' you say...For being a complete and totally f**king idiot...Oh and maybe you should apologize to his wife...But you really need to apologize for being such a f**king dolt...
Veronica Swik-Daniels, is more proof of just how f**ked up the world we live in is...You want to be a porn star...Great! God bless ya! I may have even scrapped one out to one of your films...You want to go and bang married guys behind their wives backs...Fine...Dude is an a$$hole, and so are you...But if you want an apology because he banged you, and you were a willing participant...Well, you can go f**k yourself...
Why don't you make the world a better place...Do a porn/snuff film, with the big climax being you taking load after load, down your throat until you choke to death...
"You get nothing!"
Later, The Beeze.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Monday Moaning
Of course the little guy blew up...She was being a c**t and trying to make him blow up...All those people involved are ass-hats, and should be beaten...Watching that show, "I can see how a hand becomes fist."
Now I try to avoid politics, but this isn't really politics...I mean this person quit her job as a governor, so I guess that makes this not political...I personally think Sarah Palin is a dolt...You may feel otherwise...In my opinion, it was going to be hard to stop the Obama train, and putting her on the ticket with McCain sealed the deal...We can get into that stuff later though...Recently Sarah Palin has been taking on the use of the word retard...That is unless big, fat, Rush says it...
I understand that she has a developmentally challenged child...Or whatever watered down term you like...But when I grew up...The word was retarded...As the world got more politically correct, you weren't aloud to call retarded people retarded...So the word retard started getting used in a 7th grade mentality way...'Dude I can't believe you did that...You're such a retard!' Just as gay started getting used in that 7th grade way...'Dude, playing Farmville is gay.'
Now Mrs. Palin is mad at the show "Family Guy" for poking fun at her, and using the word retard...Listen gash, you put yourself in the spotlight...You're gonna have to take sh!t like everyone else...You're gonna need thicker skin if you really want a job in politics...Although you quit one job already, so I'm guessing you don't have what it takes...I'll end this topic with this...
If this offends you, too bad! Write your own blog!
On we go to my weekend...Saturday night the Mrs. and I went out to The Melting Pot with our friends...I got a rock solid Conway's Irish Ale buzz on...Then later that night, the little Beeze woke up after a nightmare...I was up...Drunk...And watching "Casino." So I let him hang out with me...I put on cartoons or something...It was 4:00 AM and he was still up...I finally passed out...He went into my bed...I was up at 7:00 AM Sunday...kicked everyone out of my bed, and got a couple hours of sleep...
I knew this was going to be along day...So I made a deal with the kids...I'll take you to Build-A-Bear, but after that you have to behave, and behave quietly...Well they both also scored a cap at LIDS...I scored 2...She got a pink Cleveland Browns cap...One with the dog on it...He got a SpongeBob one...I got a old school Cubs cab, and a new Cleveland State cap...$160 later they stuck to the deal...That's right, I bought my hangover some peace and quiet...Thank God!
Have a great week...
Later, The Beeze.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Monday Moaning
Friday night the Opening Ceremonies kicked off, and I'll say this...They put on a nice production...But I could do without all the hoopla, lip-synching, and look at all this crazy technology on the floor...Never mind that all listings said it would start at 7:30PM...But it didn't start until 9:00PM...Then when it came time to light the big-ass flame...I got a laugh out of the whole thing...Ooops...A little of that high-tech floor didn't work so well...
As you can see the fourth penis didn't rise up out of the floor...Somebody get that Canuck a Viagra! (Joking people...I love Canada, and all you wacky Canadians...Hell I got hitched in Canada!)
Sticking on the Olympic topic...I've never liked the NHL shutting down the season, and letting the pros go to the Olympics...For them I'm sure it's a great honor...But for me...It's just f**king up my hockey season...
Besides that...Part of the selling point of having the pros go, was to get more interest in hockey...And the NHL specifically...You know, I'm gonna watch...But they want to turn the "casual fan" onto the game...And you would think the NHL's deal with NBC would make sure some of the marquee matchups would be televised on NBC...Nope!
Not even the U.S. vs Canada matchup on Febuary 21! It will be on MSNBC...God I hope Chris Matthews doesn't keep jumping in and interrupting the play-by-play...That f**king guy can't shut his stammering ass up!
Hey, I've got MSNBC on my system...Most people do...By if the "casual fan" is watching the Olympics...They're on NBC...They aren't gonna go looking for Hockey!
Once again, another FAIL by the NHL and NBC!
Moving onto my life...The boy...Little Beeze, was surprisingly well behaved this weekend...And I have to say, he was playing the cute card a lot...And playing it well...I have to take video of this dance he was doing...He calls it his dance...It's hilarious...I'll have to post it soon...
My weekend started early...But not in the best way...Wednesday night I started getting a bad case of the green apple splatters...It continued through Thursday...The Imodium didn't help a whole lot...Thursday night I was sitting on the crapper and I thought, 'I can't work like this...So I called the Fish House to take Friday...I call off maybe once a year...And never on Payday...But I knew I couldn't do it...
I was told I needed a Doctor's note or paper work...They don't trust us hard working, loyal employees there...Even though the bosses are the ones who call off all the time...So as dumb as it seems to me, to have to go to the doctor for a case of the sh!ts...I went...Dude took good care of me...Wrote me out of work for the whole weekend...Ha! I could have gotten through Saturday, but the doctor said no boss...I don't feel guilty at all!
Then came the rough part of the weekend...The wife made me go see the movie "Valentine's Day" with her...For going I would be repaid with a _low Jo_! (what begins with a B and ends with a b, has a low Jo in the middle, and always feels good?) That's right kids....B J!
So it's a win/win situation...Even better...There were actually some laughs in the flick...Memo to Hollywood...If you make a "Chick Flick" be sure to have some laughs for the guys...Another bright spot...Anne Hathaway is hot!
The things we'll do for love...And a good knob slobbin'!
I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day...Let's end this with a classic "Love Song." I'm feeling the eighties tonight...
Dude can rock the hell out of a pink guitar...But why the hell is the singer wearing a work glove?
Have a great week...
Later, The Beeze.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Sex Addiction = BS
I've been thinking about this for awhile now...There seems to be a trend happening lately...Every time some one famous like Tiger Woods...Or slightly famous like Steve Phillips, gets caught cheating on their wife...They play the "I'm a sex addict" card...Then the head off to some bullsh!t sex rehab program...
Then afterwards we have douche bags like David Duchovny, and Phillips doing interviews, telling us how this is a disease...IS IT!?!
So I started wondering, 'Am I a sex addict?' Honestly...Now I haven't cheated on my wife...But I do love sex...If have sex today with my wife...I'll still find time to rub one out...At least one! I think about sex all the time...I want to f**k all the time...Ask her...I'm always hounding her for more! Thinking about this made me do some research...God bless Google!
I found this when looking for symptoms: "It is thought that sex is used by the addict as an escape, a means of avoiding stress, emotional strain, boredom, anxiety, and the pursuant shame and isolation that results from their compulsive behavior. Sex may be used to feel powerful or desirable."
Okay, raise you hand if you haven't in any of those ways...We're all screwed!
I also found this..."Other signs of sex addiction include regularly engaging in the following:
-Excessive (compulsive) masturbation (self-stimulation to produce sexual pleasure) or use of pornography
-Obsessive dating (e.g., through personal ads)
-Phone sex or sex via the Internet (cybersex)
-Sex with anonymous partners (e.g., one-night stands)"
Okay, I do masturbate a lot, and I like pornography...I use to get into the phone sex...Until the wife found that one huge phone bill...Who hasn't had a one night stand in their youth?
I've spent a couple hours looking at all these sites that want to tell you all this stuff is bad...Sex is good! Actually, it's f**king great! Masturbating is good...Having sexual desire is good...Ruining your career and marriage is bad...But, these dolts didn't ruin these things because they are sex addicts...They ruined things because they're assholes with no self control...
I want to f**k all the time...But my wife isn't willing to spent 20 hours of the day bumping uglies...So I tug one off when I can...I don't go banging other woman when ever and where ever I can...Unlike Tiger Woods...It's self control...Just like fatties...If you don't want to be a fat tub of yuck...Don't eat half a dozen donuts every day...
I'm trying to lose weight...Which means I need to have the self control to not eat twenty Oreos at 1:00AM before I go to bed...All these douche bags are just trying to save their ass...
Worst thing is, average Joe could play the sex addict card...Say average Joe gets caught cheating on his wife, average Jill...If tries to tell her he's a sex addict...She's slapping him across the face, and throwing his sh!t out the door...She knows it's bullsh!t...And what good does it do her to stick with him...He's not rich like these other so-called sex addicts...Plus if she did buy it...The average family can't afford to send Mr. Horny to sex rehab with that bullsh!t artist Dr. Drew...That guy needs to choke on a c*ck!
I think this sex addict stuff is a bunch of crap...If it isn't, then I better get some help...I wonder if I can get disability for being a horn-ball!
Later, The Beeze.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Seriously!?!
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Monday Moaning
So, back to the game...The Saints come out with a huge set of balls, and go for an onside kick to open the second half...They recover it and take the ball down field for a touchdown...The Colts respond with their own scoring drive...The Saints add a field goal...Hartley's 3rd for more then 40 yards in the game...
In the 4th quarter the Saints take the lead on a touchdown pass to Shockey...Then the Colts drive is abruptly ended by an interception, returned for a touchdown by Tracy Porter...Many people doubted the Saints defense, but they have made plays like this all year...They did it again...Congrats New Orleans...You finally have something to cheer about other then Gumbo and Jazz...
Here people...A softer side of the Beeze...As a father, I really liked seeing this shot, and a number of others like it, of Drew Brees with his son...
Now, since I'm talking all this "Super Bowl" stuff...I have to say, I've grown tired of all the "Super Bowl Sunday" hype...It's become almost a national holiday...Hell the Fish House closes on "Super Bowl Sunday." But yet, they have me there slingin' fish on Christmas Eve...
Seriously, Mrs. Beeze actually watched the whole game with me...She doesn't do that all season...But she does on this big day...She likes to see the commercials...SERIOUSLY?
I was actually pissed I couldn't jump around...I hate having to sit through commercials...Okay, I wasn't going to talk commercials, but I have to say this...Bud Light had quality and quantity...And Go Daddy...You bitches are grossly overrated...Danica go crash a car!
Now before I leave here, I wanted to throw a little hockey in here...My New York Rangers mad a move last week...They picked up the often traded Olli Jokinen...Jokinen has made a career out of being a guy people always talk about near the trade deadline...Then he gets moved, and his new team and him, do nothing in the playoffs...Will he do more offensively then Ales Kotalik, and Chris Higgins? (the two Rangers shipped out to get Jokinen) Of course he will...But so could I with the way those two Nancies have played this year...I hope Olli isn't a black cat...But I think he is!
Now, I'm getting outta here...Little Beeze wore me out this week with his non-stop energy, non-stop talking, and non-stop questions...Including the one I got just before the big game started...He was getting ready for bed, and started playing with his balls...Dad what are these? Why do the roll around like this? What do they do?
I handled the topic like this...
"They're your testicles...Right now they do nothing...
leave them alone...Get to bed!"
Later, The Beeze.
A Cold War American Classic
It was 1984, the "Cold War" was still alive and strong, Americans didn't like, and didn't trust Russians...And vice-versa...And America had a sh!t-ton of young, good looking actors and actresses...
What's better then John Hughes, may he rest in peace, making movies with these kids about the trials and tribulations of being a suburban teenager? I'll tell you what...
John Milius putting guns in their hands, and letting them kick some Russian ass!
"Red Dawn" reminded the American youth of who we are...A bunch of hot, machine gun, shootin', not gonna take over our country, smarter then everyone else, ass-kickers!
It had been 4 years since the U.S. Hockey team had beaten the Russians...We needed to be reminded of just how bad those commies were!
Don't believe me, about how great this movie was...
Damn right, WOLVERINES!
In this next clip, you'll see what a bad-ass C. Thomas Howell...But clearly, not the smartest...
Dying with his boots on...Like a real WOLVERINE!
Classic!
So after the "Super Bowl" tonight, when you're looking for something good to watch...Take a trip back to 1984, and remember how great paranoia was back then!
Later, The Beeze.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
What's Wrong with Alaska?
Yeah, I know...Pretty f**king stupid...But this next bit of nonsense will top it...This next one is from the Alaska Nanooks Hockey team...
That my friends, is a steaming pile of douche baggery...Thanks Alaska...We've all become slightly dumber after watching that nonsense!
Later, The Beeze.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Earl Weaver's Finest Moment
I hope you laughed as much as I did....
Later, The Beeze.
The Beeze's Thoughts on "Lost"
Alright, I'm not a "Lost" fan...I've never watched it...But I have from time to time, verbally taken a sh!t on it...Then this week, I've just been thoroughly annoyed by all the "Lost" hype...So of course, I sh!t on it! Mostly to my buddy Jurk...
So today, I got online and watched the first episode...Then I mixed in a couple others...Then I skimmed through last nights nonsense...Sorry "Lost fans, that was some of the worst CGI work I've seen in awhile...Why did I do this?
I wanted to have a little of knowledge of the show...I often rant and rave about crap, as you know...I try to have some facts, or experience to base my opinions on...With "Lost" I had none, and I really like bashing it to a couple of my pals...So now I've seen a bit of it...
"Not Interested!"
What a load of crap! (just my opinion)
Now, I do have a theory for all you "Lost" fans...I've figured the whole thing out for ya...You ready?
Everything that you're watching, is actually happening to the characters in a matter of seconds...All of this, is what they are seeing or experiencing before they die...The characters who have already died off in the show...You know, in all this nonsense going on...That means they've actually died...That's how your show is going to end...With all these people dead!
What ya think!?!
Later, The Beeze.