The Beeze's Top 25 Christmas Movies

 

 

 

It's almost Thanksgiving, which means we gotta start getting in the Holiday mood. This is something I did back in 2012, and it was definitely time to update. The short little Rankin/Bass specials aren't on here. This is just straight feature movies.  

First: I'm throwing out a SPOILER ALERT!!! Ok you've been warned. 

Second: Before getting into watching the flicks on this list, watch "Home for the Holidays."  Holly Hunter and Robert Downey Jr. along with a great cast, in the rare Thanksgiving Movie. It's hilarious. Seriously funny. There's lots of heart and gives a great look at family dynamics that holiday movies don't often show.

Now, to the list...

1. "A Christmas Story"  - How could it not be?  Not just because I'm from Cleveland and there was a bunch of the movie shot here. It's just a great flick that seems so relatable. No matter what age or generation. My kids love it as much as I do, and I love it as much as my Dad does. It takes us back to a better time, where things seemed purer and innocent, even if they weren't we didn't have 24-hour coverage of everything, with instant everything. 

2. "It's a Wonderful Life"  - Again, a classic, that takes us back to a better time. (minus how racist the world was then) Also a movie that brought in some religion. I'm not the most religious guy, but these days most TV shows and movies are afraid to mix in any type of religious views. Plus, Donna Reed was in my childhood spank bank. I'll admit it, she was an old school smoke-show!

3.  "The Santa Clause"   -Who knew Tim Allen would make such great Santa. Early on I wasn't as in on this movie as the kids, but as time has gone on, it's become one of my and my wife's favorites. (It used to be #9 on this list.)

4. "Scrooged"   - The 1988 "modern" version of the story of Scrooge. Bill Murray plays a TV exec that needs a holiday wake up call. This has always been one of my favorites ever since my oldest brother turned me on to it. Unlike so many Bill Murray roles, his schtick doesn't get old. The visiting ghosts are all great as well!

5. "Christmas in Connecticut" - Honestly, I don't know why I love this movie, but I do. My mom turned me onto it one year when I was kid...My brothers were older and out for the evening. My Dad was working, it was just us decorating the tree, eating Chinese food, and she popped this flick on. Another old, black and white film, taking us back in time. Comedy and romance and Christmas.

It's rarely on TV. Normally once or twice during the season, and at least one of those is an odd time slot. It's on my DVR, and the wife bought me a copy a few years ago.

6.  "Home Alone"   -Maybe this is too high, but it's still fun to watch. The kids love it, and always find time to watch it throughout the year...Not just Christmas time. We all had the little bit inside of us that wished we could get left home alone and do just what we wanted. Let alone take down a couple of bad guys.

7. "Elf "   - When this came out, I didn't expect to like it. I was a little burned out on the whole wacky Will Ferrell thing, but shit he was funny. And every year I seem to enjoy it even more. Lots of laughs, and lots of Christmas spirit and lots of spaghetti with maple syrup!

8. "Miracle on 34th Street" (the original) - Again we journey back in time. Maybe I'm an old soul, because I love these old black and white classics. The movie telling us to believe long before the "Polar Express." Oh, and Maureen O'Hara, another, classic, old school, hottie!

9.  "The Santa Clause 2"   - Tim Allen back on the list for a second time. Of this trilogy of movies, this one is my wife's favorite. It's a great look at the magic of Santa and Christmas and totally unrealistic, which is great, because reality sucks!

10.  "Violent Night" - David Harbour in a different take on Santa Claus. He's tough and gruff, and bitter, and like the rest of us, has a job to do, and just trying to get through. Then shit pops off.  It has the keys to a good Christmas movie. It has comedy, heart and Christmas Magic...And violence...real violence. Our whole family enjoyed this one together.

11. "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" - This one has slipped on the list. Not going to lie, been a little burnt out on it, but that's my own damn fault for putting it on too much. Without a doubt my favorite of the "Vacation" movies. Chevy Chase at his best, being the family man that we all hope we're not, but wish we had a little bit more of his heart in us. So many great lines in this!

12.  "The Family Man"    -Nicholas Cage in a "It's a Wonderful Life" reversal of sorts. Douchebag Cage gets a taste of the life he could have had, had his choices not taken him down another path and now what life does he want?  Plus, Tea Leoni is sexy!

 13. "Christmas with the Kranks" - Tim Allen makes his way on the list again. Based on the book "Skipping Christmas" this good Christmas comedy. Allen convinces his wife (Jamie Lee Curtis) to bypass all their holiday traditions and spending and take a cruise. Then we find out they live in the country's most intense Christmas celebrating and decorating neighborhood, led by Dan Akroyd. There's good humor and good heart. 

14. "Uncle Nick"  - Another new addition to the list, my buddy Hotch turned me onto this a few years ago. As I laughed, I told myself, 'the kids can't see this.' Maybe it's the Clevelander in me, (it takes place in Cleveland) but sometimes dark is good. This is a dark Christmas movie. Some call it an anti-Christmas movie. I don't. It just shows a side of Christmas and some people's lives that everyone tries to ignore or hide, especially in the Holiday Season.

15.  "Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas" - I just loved this so much as a little kid...I can't take it off my list. Just fond memories of these little Muppets. Maybe because music was big in our house. It will always and forever remind me of my mom. To be honest, I haven't watched it or listened to the songs since my mom died. I tried listening to the CD...Yeah, I'm old...But I couldn't get through. Maybe this year. Alone, in the basement, in the dark, hiding my tears from my family. It really is great and a great Christmas story.

 

 

 

15.  "Love Actually"   -Total chick flick I know. I never would have seen it, had it not been for my wife...But guess what?  It's good...It's funny...It's sad...It's happy...It's Christmas. Seriously, I'm surprised at how much I actually can tolerate it, let alone like it.

16. "Fatman" - Fresh off of Amazon. I thought my wife, our oldest daughter and I were going to watch this as a goof and just pick it apart. I mean Mel Gibson as Santa!?! Then I loved it! It's violent and dark and a whole different spin on Santa. Spoiler Alert: Santa is a bad ass! Seriously, it was a fun watch.

  17. "Fred Claus" - The tale of Santa's brother Fred. A totally different cat than his "perfect" brother Nick. Eventually Fred learns some lesson, as does Nick. And so does the villain, played by Kevin Spacey...Shocker, Kevin Spacey plays a villain well.

18. "Noelle" - A new (2019) take on the Kringle family dynamic, and what happens when the fat man can't go on. It's fun and silly, and good wholesome family movie.

19. "The Polar Express" - My family would kill me if this wasn't on the list. They all love this. It's non-stop Christmas magic. Amazing animation. Tom Hanks...that fucking bell. Yes, that bell. We've bought one for each of the kids. During COVID times we rented a theater with a screening for 20 people for our two daughters' birthdays. Yep, 2 December birthdays before Christmas...This is why I'm broke come January.

20. "Home Alone 2, Lost in New York" - Sequels are never as good, but this one smartly took Kevin out of his home and dropped him in the "Big Apple." He gets into his usual trouble and learns his lessons and saves the day. His abuse of the Hotel staff is fabulous.

21. "Bad Santa" - I don't go out of my way to see this one, but If it's on I'll watch it. There's so many funny lines and hearing a mall Santa say some of the things Bill Bob says, any of us who have worked retail or in the food service industry, can all relate to...We've wanted to say it too. And Lauren Graham...

22. "Die Hard" - Yep, I did it. I don't care. It's funny, its action, its heart, it's got Christmas spirit and Christmas music. It's Christmas movie. This is my blog, share your opinion on your own page.

23. "A Christmas Story Christmas" - I think many of us were skeptical of this sequel to a true classic. Well, it was done right. It paid tribute to its roots and honored the original. Just like the original the story is told by Ralphie, and we follow Ralphie through his trials and triumphs, but like the original, it's as much about "the Old Man" as it is Ralphie. It hits the heart strings just right.

24. "Surviving Christmas" - Rich douche, shockingly played by Ben Affleck buys an average family to be his family to spend the holidays with. Annoyingly calling James Gandolfini and Catherine O'Hara Dad and Mom. Driving their kids nuts, trying to have the sibling he never had. It's overlooked and bagged on, but it has some good laughs and good heart.

25. "Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas" - This always has and always will be a favorite in our house. When our oldest was just a little peanut she fell in love with it, and it's been passed on to her younger siblings, and you'd think us parents would have gotten sick of it, but over time it became one that we look forward to and we suggest to them for us all to watch. It's five different segments featuring Mickey and his pals. Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goofy, Pluto. it's wonderful and full of Christmas love.

That's the list. What's yours like?

Merry Christmas!