Monday Moaning

How about those Patriots!?! In case you didn't know...Tom Brady is still the sh!t...He may be a little rusty...But he's the sh!t...People have been saying thathe's playing with a skirt on...Well, I've never seen anyone in a skirt, torch a defense like that before...

Hell even Maroney showed up this week!

For those of you who don't know, The Patriots Mollywopped the Titans Sunday, 59-0...Hell it was 45-0 at halftime...619 total yards of offense for the Pats...Brady threw for 380 yards and 6 touchdowns...I honestly don't even know why the Titans came back out on the field...My God the Browns looked better today against the Steelers...Derek Anderson was an amazing 9 for 24 this week...Baby steps fellas!

If I'm Jeff Fisher, it may be time to look at replacing some people...And I'm not just talking about players...How far this team has slipped from where they were last year, just amazes me...If you make the Browns and Rams look good...You're in trouble!

Moving on to just a little hockey...My beloved New York Rangers lost their season opener to the Pittsburgh Penguins...I of course heard about that from all my friends in the "Steel City." But since then, the Rangers have won 7 straight games...The Blue shirts are looking solid in both ends...Some may be surprised by that considering they have two rookies playing key roles on defense...Now I'd like to introduce you to this years Calder Trophy winner....Michael Del Zotto...

So far with 8 games under his belt he has 3 goals and 5 assists...Nice start kid!

Now most of my weekend was taken up by the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame...If you want to check out this past weekends Irish Hockey happenings...Or get my half in the bag write-up of the big game against USC...Feel free to pop over to the buzz...http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/

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On Saturday's game...Well, this guy WeeManExtras, does a great job summing up each weeks game...

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That's how I spent my Saturday...Stressing over another Notre Dame game...Not stressing out over the wonderful American Greetings/Hallmark Holiday, that is celebrated here in Ohio and a number of other places in the Great Lakes region...That's right...Sweetest Day! What? You don't celebrate that where you live? GOOD FOR YOU! It's a bunch of crap...It was started with good intentions, but was bastardized...Go figure! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetest_Day

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Oh wait, I did discover something delicious Saturday...Who doesn't like a BLT? Well if you don't, you're missing out...Anyway, BLT Dip...Holy un-f**king-healthy! Mayo, sour cream, Bacon, tomatoes, all mixed together...put it on crackers or toasted french bread...WOW! Kinda messed up, because there's no L in it...But I spruced it up...I added some scallions and a couple dashes of hot sauce...Very Good! And if that isn't unhealthy enough...Get some pepperoni...Thicker slice then what you get on pizza...Bread it...Deep fry it...Dip it in ranch...I can hear myself getting fatter right now!

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I want to say thanks to everyone who sent their best, when they read that my daughter had the not so mighty H1N1...She's doing great...And she'll be back in school on Monday...

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Speaking of school...Thursday we had parent teacher conferences...First up...The boy...Oh sh!t...I have to say, I was shocked...At school he is a perfect student...Always listens...Helps others...Is ahead of the curve with his numbers and letters...He's well behaved, and has good manners...WTF! They get the good stuff, and I get the non-stop pain in the ass, little ball of hate!

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Then it was time for my daughters conference...We knew it would be good...She's smart like her mom, and basically a good kid all the way around...It was clear that her teacher doesn't really give a sh!t about getting to know her 2nd grade students...If the kids names weren't on the folder she wouldn't know them...The conference was all about testing and test results...Now clearly our daughter is learning, she's doing well in everything, but I always like it when teachers make things interesting...

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Then she showed us a test that they do each month...It has to do with how many words the kids can read in a minute...The goal for the end of the school year is 90...(goal=state standards)...When our daughter took it in September, she was at 92 words...92 words bitch! What does this hatchet wound say? Not 'that's great'...Not 'you should be really proud'...Which we are...No sort of compliment...She just says, "We don't want that to slip. We want to keep building on that." No sh!t you dolt! Maybe I'm taking this to heart to much...Or misreading it...But this woman pissed me off...And just by looking at her, you can tell...sex with your pillow would be more exciting then throwing her a hump!

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Well that's all for me right now...I'm hooked on this game that's on facebook, called Cafe World...

Have a great week...

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Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Happy 4th of July if you missed me saying it here, or at You Gab Sports, or at Sporting News, or on Twitter, or on Facebook...

Was there any sports going on to talk about? I gotta tell ya, I spent hardly any time paying attention to sports this weekend...I've watched about 2 innings of baseball...That's it...I think it was the red hats...Hey I like red...and I like hats...Just ask the guys at LIDS! And I'm all about being patriotic...But MLB, could we maybe have had one team where red caps and the other wear blue?

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about...Major League Baseball had every team wearing red hats this weekend with the team logo filled in with an American flag design...I think they did for Memorial day also...But it was too much red, and the Oakland A's look silly enough with there white shoes...Then you add a red cap with their green and yellow gear, and they are gay guy's nightmare! (don't be offended, gay guys love me...But I ain't gonna be a bottom...it's a joke)

The finals were held at Wimbledon and the match Federer and Roddick put on was amazing...Well, okay, I only watched the last set, but Christ it was as long as 3 sets...I was pulling for Roddick...Always go with the Underdog...Especially if he is an American who could sh!t all over some Swiss dudes record! unfortunately Roddick lost, but it was a hell of a match....

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Now to the sad sports news...Former NFL quarterback Steve McNair was found shot to death on Saturday...I'm not going to speculate on what all happened between McNair and the young woman who's body was found with his...I just feel sorrow for his wife and children...

I heard some of the talking heads on TV and radio discussing what this would do to his legacy as football player and as somebody who has always been well respected for his good deeds...Who the f**k cares!?! Kids lost their father...And a mother is left to try and explain it and raise them on her own...There are seriously times when the media are total f**king idiots...And based on the last week or so, they really show off how stupid they are when celebrities die...

In a little hockey news...The free agency madness has started...My Rangers signed the often injured Marian Gaborik to 5 year, 7.5 million dollar contract...The Chicago Blackhawks signed Marian Hossa to a 12 year deal...WTF!?! I guess the 'Hawks don't want to win the Cup for another 12 years! (and what's with all these dudes named Marian?) Martin Havlat left Chicago and jumped into Gaborik's spot in Minnesota...And a move that made me happy...The Columbus Blue Jackets signed Captain Rick Nash to a 8 year extension... http://www.yougabsports.com/?cmd=blog&nid=358041&ptitle=Columbus-Blue-Jackets-Make-a-Great-Move

But seriously...I'm tired from all the drinking I've done since Thursday night...So for any and all NHL moves stop over here.... http://www.nhl.com/

Thursday night Mrs. Beeze and I went out for dinner with two other couples, at this fondue place called The Melting Pot...Fondon't! I put down some notes that night and I'll be posting a review in the next day or two...But let's just say, if you are in the restaurant, and you have to call the restaurant to get your server to bring something...anything, to your table...The review isn't gonna be good! But we did get a nice buzz on, and had fun...And of course, some sloppy drunk sex!

Friday, I wanted to call off work and drive up to Buffalo to see Our Lady Peace...But I didn't...(There are videos from that show at the bottom of the sidebar) I went to work...Which was stupid and slow as hell...We were suppose to go to a party at an old friend's house that night...As we were getting ready...We had put some cream on the little Beeze, for his eczema...It was a new cream we were trying...He broke out with an allergic reaction in seconds....Off to the hospital...No party...It took a couple hours for it to settle down...After we got home, everyone went to bed...Except me...I drank...

Saturday, we had a birthday party to go to...Friends of ours son was turning the BIG 01...That's right 1 year old party...Which means...Excuse for adults to drink! BTW...I got little dude a sweet, green, Notre Dame #3 Jersey...It was on sale at LIDS...

I spent some quality time with our one friends baby...Which was giving me that it wouldn't be so bad to have another one feeling...Mind you I was buzzed...But this little peanut was cute, and kept drinking my beer...She's just like her mom!

The kids had a blast...My wife sucks at corn hole...I'm alright...But she sucks...And when the hell did corn hole go from sticking things in somebody's ass to tossing little sacks of corn at a wood board with a little hole cut out!?!

After we got home we watched some fireworks in the neighborhood, and watched Neil Diamond rock out with the Boston Pops...

Sunday was a lazy day...Thank God...And we got the big news...We took a pregnancy test a couple days before, and it was negative...But I don't trust those...Just like birth control, they're not 1000%...When I woke up, I was given the news that Aunt Flo had arrived...."And there was much rejoicing!"

That's it for now...Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Passing Out Some More Skull F**ks!

This is a special edition of the Beeze's Skull F**ks...With the exception of one...All those getting blasted in the face tonight are General Managers of sports franchises...
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First up is Neal Huntington of the Pittsburgh Pirates...

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He's the douche on the right...First a few weeks ago he traded young, rising, Pirate star, outfielder, Nate McLouth for a few prospects...Now I've heard these prospects have great potential...But that's all it is...Potential...McLouth had the makings of a franchise player...But the Pirates like to play it cheap...

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Then yesterday the traded Nyjer Morgan...Morgan has become a fan favorite and is another exciting, talented, player the Pirates could have been a core player on a young team...But no such luck...In return Pittsburgh got the most overrated, over hyped prospect baseball has...Lastings Milledge...Milledge has been talked about for a few years now but can't stay healthy and can't stay with a team...Also involved in the deal...The Pirates sent pitcher Sean Burnett to Washington and got Joel Hanrahan in return...

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Hanrahan's record is 0-3 with a 7.71 ERA in 34 games -- he has been demoted from the closer's job...In 115 career games he has a 5.30 ERA...

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Burnett, who was Pittsburgh's top pick in 2000...Has a 1-2 with a 3.06 ERA in 38 games...

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You know why he's got that eye patch? 'Cause the Beeze just went balls deep in him!

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Next is my favorite...Indians GM Mark Shapiro...

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In case you missed Monday Moaning...I'm not happy with the sh!t trade he made this weekend with the Cardinals...Sending Mark DeRosa there for (P) Chris Perez and a player to be named later...Perez in his first outing went .2 innings and gave up 4 runs...Douche bag! Shapiro said there was lots of interest in DeRosa and he got the best value there was...Really?

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Well, you're about to get a hell of a value right up in your face Mark...And while I'm at it...I'll hit that piece of crap Eric Wedge standing next to you...He must give great head...Because any other team would have sh!t canned him by now...

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Now onto Glen Sather....

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The New York Rangers GM made some moves the last couple days...I like the trade of Scott Gomez and getting Chris Higgins in return...Getting rid of Gomez's salary was great...Overrated b!tch...But then he let Colton Orr slip away and sign with the Maple Leafs...What did he do to get some muscle back...He signed first class douche, cheap shot, f**king a$$hole Donald Brashear...I can't root for this guy...I don't know how any Rangers fan could...I'm hoping he is injured in traing camp and done...For good...

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Then with the extra money lying around....He signed Marian Gaborik...The reports are saying 5 years...7.5 million a year...Wow! I say Wow because, while Gaborik is an amazingly talented player...He has also never had a year without injuries...And from everything he has said Gaborik is the only high profile guy they were targeting...Not a trade for Heatley...Not Hossa, who it looks like will sign with Chicago...

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As a Rangers fan, the Brashear move makes me angry...The Gaborik move makes me worry...5 years and lots of money tied up in a guy who can't stay healthy...So tonight Sather is getting a load from the Beeze.

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And lastly tonight...People who smoke, but never have any cigarettes or a lighter...

I'm not a smoker...In my youth I was...But I realized it wasn't gonna help my asthma or my hockey game...And I also realized why should I pay for cancer...But anyway...I work in a place I lovingly refer to as "The Fish House"...There seem to be a lot of smokers in the restaurant business..

That's fine...It's up to them...But I couldn't stand this when I smoked, and it still bugs the sh!t out of me today...If you want to smoke...Buy a pack d!ck head...If you smoke...Why the f**k don't you have a lighter...It's always the same douche bags...Some of the f**k stains ask me for a light, even though they know I don't smoke...If you want to partake in this habit...Stop being a lazy, cheap bastard and buy your own smokes and lighter...You existence is enough of a burden on the world...Don't pester us to help you get cancer...Choke on some of this!

That's it for tonight...

Later, The Beeze.

Sour Grapes and Some Skull F*cks

As you all know, I'm a New York Rangers fan...Well it's not a good evening for me...The Rangers just got knocked out of the Playoffs, by those douche-bag, Washington Capitals...

Let me first start with Donald Brashear...That guy is a F*cking a$$hole...It amazes me that he is still in the league...He's never been that good of a player...And as a goon...he's a cheap shot throwing punk...If he wanted to put a Ranger down with a cheap shot...Why not Avery? Maybe Douche-Bags have a secret code, that they don't take each other out...Donald...you asshole...You get this weeks first c0ck to the head!

Next...The Refs...Now I think that the refs have sucked in most games so far through the playoffs...But tonight, in the third period, Dan Girardi was called for interference...WTF!?! It was a perfectly clean check...But these pussies say that the puck was out of the play...Of course the announcers agreed...All these douches want to see Ovechkin move on...F*ck him too...(I'll come back to him in a minute)

The worst part about the call...After it had been made, I watched the Capitals commit the same penalty 10 times, and not get called for it...Why?

A)Because it's a bullshit pussy rule...

B) Because they wanted the Caps to win...Because TV loves Ovechkin...

So this one is a two for the price of one...To the refs and the announcers I give a nice hot steaming load of jizz all up in your eye!

So back to Ovechkin...Why the f*ck are you throwing your arms up to the crowd and acting like an ass...Like you just won the Cup...F*ck you didn't even win this game...The old Russian Sergie Fedorov did...I'm so sick of this guy being such a c*nt!

If I was a coach I would seriously put a bounty out on that guy...But the NHL won't let me and my rage in...So, All that I can offer is a good old fashioned, hate filled, skull fuck to Alexander Ovechkin...It's gotta be hard to play with a c0ck all up in your face!

Moving on...Off the topic of hockey and my sour grapes...

This week's big winner of the Skull F*ck is....You stupid fat bitches that walk around like you're hot shit, wearing belly shirts...You're fat...We don't want to see that roll hanging out...It's not hot...It's not sexy...You're fat! Don't be a fatty wearing a tight "wife beater" either...We can still see the fat...If you're rockin' the roll hanging out all over under your belly shirt...I'm not taking you out on a date...I'm not f*cking you...I wouldn't f*ck you with a stolen dick!

But you will get a nice warm load of the Beeze right in your eye socket!

That's it for me tonight...I'm all out of jizz!

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

What the F*ck!?! The weekend is already over...That sucks...Well I guess I need to fire some shit off then...

The NFL Draft is over...I'll be honest...I watched a total of about 10 minutes of it...My weekend was not about me...Mrs. Beeze turned the BIG 4-0 this weekend...It was all about her...Any sports I saw...I had to sneak in quickly...Then catch Sports Center after she was asleep...

So, about this draft...How'd your team do? I heard a rumor the Jets fans didn't boo the shit out of their first pick...Well f*ckers...Thank the Cleveland Browns for trading with you!

To be honest I'm not sure how I feel about the Browns draft...I've been reading up on their picks, and the players they got from the Jets...Let's face it...The Browns have a lot of holes to fill, and they did a hell of a job getting bodies to try and fill some holes, and hopefully make some sort of impact on the field...

You may not care, but here are the players the Browns picked up this weekend...

First in the trade with the Jets they got Abram Elam (S)...Kenyon Coleman (DE)...and Brett Ratliff (QB)

Their first pick (21 overall) was Alex Mack (C) from Cal...He was a 3 year starter who can also play guard...Versatility is good...So is depth...You can never have too many good O-linemen...

Pick 36 overall was Brian Robiskie (WR) Ohio St. I think he will do well...It may have been too high to pick him, but WR is a need, and he has a great football IQ...

Pick 50 overall was also a WR...Mohamed Massuquoi from Georgia...I'm not happy with this pick...The main reasons being...Rey Maualuga was still on the board...The brownies could use a good Linebacker...Second reason...LeSean McCoy was still on the board...We could use a back to play behind Jamal Lewis, and take over eventually...

Pick 52 overall was LB David Veikune from Hawaii...I really don't know much about him at all...

Round 4....pick 104 overall was LB Kaluka Maiva from USC...Lot of USC linebackers in this draft...This is the guy you heard the least about...

Round 6...pick 177 was DB Don Carey from Norfolk St.

Pick 191...another DB...Coye Francies from San Jose St. I think he may wind up being a good player...

Pick 195 was RB James Davis from Clemson...A little stat I found on him was...In 805 touches at Clemson...Only 2 fumbles...Not bad...More of a grinder...Not gonna be a feature back...

The Browns weren't flashy...But I'm hoping they come out looking smart...Like I said...The Browns have lots of holes to fill...This weekend they got some bodies...Let's hope some of them fit...

Now moving on...Let's go to Hockey...

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The Washington Capitals have decided to nut up, and have forced a game 7 with the New York Rangers...

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I am not happy about this...The Caps have a ton of momentum now...If the Rangers are going to win...Henrik Lunqvist is going to have to carry them...He will need to be perfect...I hope he can do it!

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The Columbus Blue Jackets were swept by the Detroit Red Wings...I was really hoping to see the Jackets make some noise in the playoffs...They played hard and well...But the Wings know how to win in the playoffs...The Jackets took a big step this year, and will hopefully learn and grow from this...A few things that stood out to me in the series were...R.J. Umberger played great...This guy is a keeper...He brought a spark to this team that they have never had...

Also, Antoine Vermette played great...His stats may not show it...But he was playing non-stop, aggressive, two-way hockey, every shift...

The biggest thing I noticed was about rookie goaltender Steve Mason...Mason seemed to give up a lot of big rebounds that put him out of position for the follow up shot...That's the type of thing the Red Wings will take advantage of...

What else do we have this week...My D&T Fantasy Baseball team sucks big hairy balls...

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Oh yes...Mrs. Beeze's B-day...We went to Erie PA...The hot-bed of entertainment that it is...She spent her teenage years there...Her parents are there...And many of her friends...So, that's where we went to celebrate...Saturday night we left the kids with the grandparents, and went out to dinner...I'll be posting a review of the great restaurant later this week...The food was great...The $45 worth of wine she drank was great also...I was feeling frisky...As I always do...I kept talking about going somewhere for a little bump session...When we went out to the parking lot...It was pitch black...She said..."We may as well do it here!" CAR SEX rules! I told her...If we're still f*cking in a car, in a dark lot...You're not old yet!

After Dinner we got together with some friends for a little while...I'm pretty sure some of them could smell the sex in the air...It was a warm evening...She hates when I share all this personal shit!

Now I know many of you look forward to reading if my son did something f*cked up each week...Like leaving a surprise shit somewhere...Well, we haven't found anything recently...Yes he had moments of being a pain in the ass this week...But that is just par for the course...When I stumble across whatever nightmare he has rolled up his sleeve...You'll be the first to know...

One final bit of sports...The Red Sox swept the Yankees at Fenway this weekend...That's just awesome...I guess the Yankees don't just suck at home...They suck on the road too!

Have a good week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

It's that time again...Another weekend is over...And it's back to the grind....This week I'll start with the New York Rangers...First...Friday the Rangers announced that they had signed Boston University defensmen, and Hobey Baker winner, Matt Gilroy...Great move!

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Let's hope he can jump right into Wade "pussy" Redden's spot next year...And hopefully The Rangers can trade Redden for a stick rack or something...I hate to do this...But so far Redden has played well in the first two games of the playoffs...(that hurt a little)

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Next...The Rangers are up 2 games to none versus the Washington Capitals...One of the keys has been Ryan Callahan...This kid plays great in both ends of the ice...He's all over the place...The Capitals gotta hate that he sored the only goal in Saturday's game, as the Rangers won 1-0...But even more than that...They really gotta hate all the shots he's been blocking...This kid i s awesome!

Oh, and how could I forget...Henrik Lundqvist...This guy is one of those special goalies who can take over a series...And so far he's doing it in this one...Lundqvist has often had to carry the Rangers...I hope they can start lighting the lamp some more...Because Henrik has got to be getting a little tired...

I've noticed something else in this series...We often hear and talk about what a bag of douche Sean Avery is...And he is....He's a prick...Know who else is...Alexander Ovechkin...Yeah, he's a superstar...and he's a hell of a talented player...He's also a big mouth cocky punk! I'm all for some trash talking...But when you're losing...And you haven't scored a goal...Maybe you should shut the f*ck up!

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Last week I predicted the Stanley Cup Finals would be the Boston Bruins vs the San Jose Sharks...As I'm writing this the Sharks are down in their series with the Ducks...1 game to none...I have game two on right now...It's tied 1-1...Sharks just went on the power play...

But the Bruins...Look the f*ck out...The Boys from Boston are looking great! And Marc Savard who finished the regular season with 88 points...And has been trying to prove his doubters wrong the last couple of seasons...Well he's doing a hell of a job at it...In the first two playoff games Savard has 2 goals and 3 assists...And is playing the same two-way hockey he played all season long...

And goalie Tim Thomas has continued is excellent play also...What the hell am I saying...The entire team is playing the same consistent hockey, they played all year!

Unfortunately I don't have any good news about the Columbus Blue Jackets...They have played their asses off, but they are playing the Detroit Red Wings...That's a team that just knows how to win in the playoffs...Now I'm hoping the Jackets just don't get swept...

Oh, and keep an on on the young up and coming Chicago Blackhawks, who have taken a 2-0 series lead over the Calgary Flames...(Olli Jokinen will always be a bust) The 'Hawks are playing some good hockey!

Now...To go in a totally different direction...I was surprised to hear Mel "crazy f*cker" Gibson was getting divorced...Then I saw his new girlfriend...All the sudden Mel got some strange and remembered what it was like to be inside a gash that was nice, young, and snug....

I give you 24 year old Oksana Pochepa....

Yeah....You work that microphone honey!

What other nonsense do I have to give you? Oh Yes...There was a lot of talk about Tea Bags this past week...If you'd like to see my views on tea bagging check this out....http://thebeezewax.spruz.com/

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In some Notre Dame news...The Irish had the annual Blue and Gold game...The Blue (offense) beat the Gold (defense) 68-33...I honestly don't know what to take from it...I hope this means the Offense will be much better...But I also hope it doesn't mean the defense is gonna suck ass...The whole scoring system is goofy...If you want to read about it and check out some video, here ya go...

http://www.blueandgold.com/content/?aid=6955

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Hey did anyone see that Indians game against the Yankees Saturday...Holy shit that was great...Indians 22 Yankees 4...How f*cking beautiful is that!?!

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The only thing that was hotter this weekend was Mrs. Beeze with her red hair, wearing nothing but red stocking, while riding my junk!

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After a high like that I hate to end on a downer...But...This past week John Madden decided to retire...To me that's not the downer...I'm glad he did...I mean it's only fitting...It finally looks like Favre is really done...What the hell else would Maddden have to talk about...Plus, honestly...The guy wasn't good at what he did anymore...It had gotten old...It was time...

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But the downer is...His replacement...Chris Collinsworth....Are you f*cking kidding me...That pencil neck little douche...Listen...Yes he knows football...But he's a douche...I can't stand to here him speak...I'd rather listen to a cat as it's ass is being dragged against sharp, jagged steal...I hope Al Michaels knocks him the f*ck out their very first game together...Poor Al!

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That's all this week...I'm tired...Took the kids to a Birthday party today...10 loud, annoying, non-stop little kids running wild will take it outta ya! Have a good week...

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Later, the Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Well it's that time again...Time for Monday Moaning...I've got plenty to go on about...Mostly not sports related this week...Deal with it!

I'm starting with the BIG happening here in Cleveland this weekend...This weekend we had the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony...A rare switch...It wasn't in f*cking New York...It was actually here...In the city where the Rock Hall is...This crap has made hate the RRHOF for years...These twats have had no problem coming here to make money off of fans when they tour...They sure as hell can come here when they got this "honor"....Now we are so lucky...They have decided to let us have the ceremony every 3 years...WTF! Oh yeah...Why the hell is Madonna in, but RUSH isn't!?!

On with the show...Finally, after 40 plus years in the music industry, as a musician, singer, songwriter, and producer...Cleveland's own Bobby Womack finally got inducted into the Rock Hall...For those who don't know Womack co-wrote the Rolling Stones first U.K. #1 hit..."It's All Over Now" Is talents touched the entire music world, having created and work with music in R&B, Soul, Rock, and Funk...

One of my idols...Guitar God Jeff Beck was inducted for his solo work...He was already in as a member of the Yardbirds...His Jam was awesome!

Run DMC was inducted...I would normally knock Rap for being allowed in...But Run DMC changed Rap, and Rock, being the first to fuse the two together...

I've got Nothing on Little Anthony and the Imperials...There was also some other categories that they inducted some oldies under...I'll be honest...I missed that part...I was busy banging Mrs. Beeze!

The "headliner" was Metallica...I have no problem with them getting...But I have to say, I was pissed they were getting in before RUSH, and Deep Purple...The best speech of the night was hands down, the induction speech Flea gave in honor of Metallica...I have never heard anyone speak of metal like that before...He tried to let the rest of the world understand why it is what it is, and why it's good...

The only thing that made me feel even better was when James Hetfield acknowledged the fact that they got in, and the likes of Deep Purple, RUSH, Alice Cooper, and Iron Maiden should all be in there with them...Very cool move!

Moving on...I've got no college hockey for ya...The Frozen Four kicks off on the 9th...with the Championship on the 11th...

In College hoops it's gonna be Michigan State vs North Carolina...I'm pulling for Michigan State...UNC is the easy choice..F*ck that!

In hockey...The New York Rangers are still playing inconsistent hockey...They're up and down like $50 hooker...They have 3 games left...One with Montreal, and a home-and-home with the Flyers...You better do it boys!

Baseball season kicked off tonight...But it really gets going tomorrow...So if you can sneak out of work early and find a nice watering hole to catch a game in...Go for it...Forget about all the steroids crap, and just enjoy the game...Friday is the home opener here in Cleveland...I'm sure it'll snow!

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What's a little Monday Moaning without telling you something about the Beeze fam...This week the little Beeze left me a nice little surprise...I was wondering what the hell was stinking so bad in the bathroom for a couple days...Then little dude had to drop a deuce...So he's in there doing his thing...A lot of time goes by...I go and check on him...He's laying on the floor with shit sticking out of his ass...It's on the side of the toilet...It's on the floor...And he's just chillin'...I asked him what happened...He says...."I got tired."

So I clean him up...Then I start cleaning the mess...Oh the joys of parenthood...While I'm in there...I figure lets' just clean this whole damn place...So I crap the toilet brush, to give that a scrub...It's dripping...Dripping piss...This little asshole took a wizz in the f*cking toilet brush holder...WTF!

One last thing before I go...Today I took my kids to a park...We often go to the park right by our house...But today I thought I'd change it up...We went to a park I love...It's right on the Lake, in a very nice (rich) community....This 'burb is about 99% white...The 1% that isn't is mostly pro athletes...While we're there I see these kids...They're trying to act all "gangsta"...They wanna be "thugs" so bad...WTF!

A) these kids wouldn't last 30 seconds in a tough neighborhood....

B) A drug deal to them is, stealing sh!t from mom's medicine cabinet...

C) their parents should have the sh!t slapped out of them! Wake the f*ck up people...Spend some times with your kids so they don't become assholes!

That's it for...Have a good week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Another weekend has come and gone...Just as my hangover has come and gone...The Beeze needs to hop on the wagon...Gotta get my shit together for D&T Baseball....Have to be able to back up all my shit talking...

This week I'm gonna mix it up...I'm gonna start with the Notre Dame Hockey News....

Friday the Irish took on Northern Michigan in the CCHA playoffs...Sophomore Ben Ryan scored 1 minute left in the game to give the Fighting Irish a 2-1 victory...Kyle Lawson had the other Irish goal...Goalie Jordan Pearce made 21 saves in the victory...

This sent Notre Dame to the Championship game against rival Michigan...I'm not gonna lie...My c*ck was hard for this one...(it's a joke)...

After two periods the Wolverines were up 2-1...But the Irish said f*ck that sh!t...

They came back strong in the third and put up 4 goals to win their second CCHA Championship in three years....The Goal scores for the Irish were...Billy Maday, Calle Ridderwall with 2, Ben Ryan, and Christiaan Minella...Pearce made 28 saves in the win...

Four Notre Dame players were named to the all-tournament team...Defensman Ian Cole...Forwards Calle Ridderwall, and Ben Ryan....And Goalie Jordan Pearce...Pearce was also named the Tournament MVP...

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The Irish have been selected as the #1 seed in the Grand Dapids Regional of the NCAA Tournament...Their first game will be against Bemidji State on March 28th at 7:30 PM...

Now I have some sad news for New York Rangers fans like myself....Former Ranger, Walt Poddubny died this weekend at age 49...

http://rangers.nhl.com/team/app/?service=page&page=NewsPage&articleid=414849

Rest in Peace Walt...

Now let's get to the big joke that has had the You Gab Sports gang laughing all week....Now I always fill out some March Madness Brackets every year...A couple through a bar I go to...Some here some there...And I traditionally suck...This year the Gab did a Bracket Challenge...So what the hell! Who's kickin' ass...That's right...The Beeze...Who had Cleveland State winning their first round game against Wake Forest...The Beeze....

Who, in the confusion of doing too many brackets at once...And an alcoholic haze, forgot to put in their Final Four teams....That's right...The Beeze!

Everyone Point and Laugh!

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Now I'm getting off of the sports topics...As I often do...I'm dedicating this week's Monday Moaning to my wife...That's right...This one is for Mrs. Beeze...

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Friday night the wife went out with the girls after work...They've all been working like crazy and needed to get out...The Mrs. needed bad...She doesn't get out much between work, and trying to get some quality time with the kids...Then she has me constantly trying to have sex with her...Seriously...I'm all over her, all the time!

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She had a great time, and by the drunken calls her friends kept making to me, they seemed to be having a great time also...When she came home though I decided to take a sh!t all over her good time...I jump on her case for driving...Especially because I offered to pick them up if they needed...That and because she use to get on my case for drinking and driving...So then the sh!t hit the fan...It was a quality fight...She cried, so I felt I had won...But as I walked away hearing her cry...I realized I'm about to lose...Nothing hurts more then hearing someone you love cry...

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I went back in and held her...We apologized to each other...Then we started to laugh...Why? Because Mrs. Beeze said..."I love you...You F**king Idiot!" It was the best thing I had heard since I realized I screwed up my bracket...We continued to talk about everything and laugh...The we had some good old fashioned make up sex...Maybe I did win!

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That's how I know she's perfect for me...We can yell and scream and say mean sh!t to each other, and still find a way to laugh...
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I don't know how I tricked this woman into falling for me, and putting up with me, and having my children...Maybe this helped....

http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2009/01/two-drections.html

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A divorced friend reminded Saturday, that I am truly lucky...I really am...Wow sorry if your not use to the Beeze being so Cheezey...

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Thanks to the girls who went out with Mrs. Beeze...You're great friends...And thanks for trying to dye her hair red for me...Maybe one day!

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That's it for now...Have a good week...

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Later, The Beeze

Monday Moaning

What a weekend....I'm surprised I even remeber much, if not any of it...The Rock & Roll is done...My ears have stopped buzzing, and well...So have I.

Lets start with Friday night...Got to dive...Dives are great...Lot of people there...Lot that I knew...That always freaks me out...How do ya fix that...BEER! JAGER! Good to go! We did a good set...The originals went over well...My acoustic set went well...The covers went well...Afterwards somebody said..."Wow that was really good. I never heard of some of those song!" While I thanked them for the compliment, I was also annoyed...Of course you hadn't heard some of those songs...Would I be playing here if you had? NO! Also, you're over 40 so you may not be hip to the Deftones...But I was polite and simply said..."Thanks, now you're better of for having geard them." What a dick! (me not him)

After that...well you know...I was playing rock star, so I had to have some rock star sex with Mrs. Beeze...Hey, when you're rockin' a solid Jager dick...You can't waste that sh!t....The morning after I was getting some dirty looks...I believe the one phrase I heard was..."I can't believe you had me doing that in my mothers bed...When she was right in the next room."

The Punishment was harsh...She went into work for awhile to get some OT...I had to take the kids to the park...Two kids, other peoples kids, hangover....Bad combo! Then the grocery store....

After that was a family party...BIG CRAZY IRISH PARTY..."Beeze play a couple songs!" The thought in my head was...'F*ck you drunks!' But who am I to judge...I just had 4 beers, 7 green jello shots, 7 orange jello shots, and a shot of my old friend Jameson....So I did a couple Irish tunes, and I broke off Sunday Bloody Sunday also...

The wife was tired...I was tired and ripped...The kids needed to get to bed...So we got outta there and went home...The Mrs. and kids were asleep by 8:30...I took a snooze...and checked out some porn...And I hated on the new Facebook home page...

I got to take the kids to the park again today...But then I got to go see The Watchmen....I really liked it...It dragged at some points, and there was some unnessary sh!t in it, but I think they did a good job with it...Plus it had a great soundtrack, and Malin Ackerman is f*cking hot!

Christ I haven't said a word about sports yet...

Let's start with the New York Rangers...F*CK WADE REDDEN!!! This guy blows...The Rangers lost Saturday to the hated Flyers 4-2...douchebag Redden was a big reason why...Not to take anything away from Martin Biron's 39 save performance....I know I beat on Redden, but look...I'm not alone....

http://themanicranger.blogspot.com/2009/03/31409-wade-redden-flyers-storm-past.html

http://themanicranger.blogspot.com/2009/03/atrocious-wade-redden.html

BTW...The Manic Ranger does good stuff...Check him out!

Sunday things turned out a little better...The Rangers beat the Flyers 4-1, Thanks in large part to Sean Avery's two power play goals...

I was all geared up tonight for the You Gab Sports D & T Fantasy Baseball draft...Then I realized I got a little more time to get my sh!t together...Good thing since I was talking some smack...

It's bracket time...This is the rare time of the year that I actually pat attention to Basketball...I'm pulling for the Cleveland State Viking!!!

Next up...Notre Dame Hockey...The Irish took on Nebraska-Omaha this weekend in the CCHA playoffs...Friday night The Fighting Irish beat the Mavericks 5-0...The Goal scorers were...Calle Ridderwall, Ben Ryan, Billy Maday, Ryan Thang, and Ryan Guentzel...Jordan Pearce made 30 saves in the shutout victory...

Saturday night Jordan Pearce did it again...Making another 30 saves in a 1-0 Notre Dame victory...Justin White was the lone goal scorer...The Irish now move on to Joe Louis Arena, March 20-21, for the CCHA Playoff Title...

In other Notre Dame hockey news...The All-CCHA team was announced this week...Ian Cole earned 1st team honors...Erik Condra, Christian Hanson, and Kyle Lawson were named to the second team...Calle Ridderwall, and Jordan Pearce were given honorable mention...That's just bulsh!t...Pearce should have at least gotten 2nd team, if not 1st team...

Pearce was named as one of twelve candidates for the CCHA Scholastic Athlete of the Year Award...He also is a finalist for the RBC Financial Group CCHA Player of the Year

Irish coach Jeff Jackson is a finalist for CCHA Coach of the Year...

Kyle Lawson is up for the CCHA top defensive defensman...

Erik Condra is a finalist for the CCHA top defensive forward...

and Billy Maday is up for the CCHA Rookie of the Year Award...

That's it for me now...Have a good week...

One last thing....Tuesday is St. Patrick's Day...Have fun...Drink green beer...Find a Red headed gal and give her a kiss...And be safe...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

That's another week down, and another week closer to St. Patrick's day...Some of you may not care about that...Piss off! I'm partying...And most of you non-Irish knuckle heads that dump on it, are the first to call off of work and get you Irish on for a day...So GO SCREW!!!
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Moving on to sports...My weekend started with a fun little family outing Friday night to the Lake Erie Monsters hockey game...(dollar dog night)...They are the minor league affiliate for the Colorado Avalanche...They beat the Rochester Americans 4-3 in a good physical game...Monsters goalie Jason Bacashua is without a doubt the star of the team...

Another big hit was the mascot...Now The team nickname is the Monsters...So why the f*ck is there a big eagle walking around as the mascot...He was taunted all night by my kids who kept calling him..."Chicken" The dummy responded to...My son said "hey chicken!" and he came over and gave both my monsters five...Dolt!

Now there are two topics in sports I hate...There's more, but two in particular...T.O. and A-Rod...Two first class douches...But I'm gonna give them a minute of my time this week....First T. douche O. I can't believe the Buffalo Bills signed this guy...I hope they apologized in advance to Trent Edwards...Poor bastard is in for a rough year!-

Next...A-Douche...I really hope he recovers from that bad case of whatever the hell that cum dumpster Madonna gave him...I want to see him back on the field getting booed, and shitting the bed in key situations...

Lets talk some NHL...This past we we had the BIG trade deadline...Who were winners...
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The Bruins adding Mark Recchi...He'll be a nice fit on either of the top two lines...Hell he's the winner...He went from a shit team to the Bruins...

I hate to say this...But the Penguins did well...Adding Bill Guerin fills a hole that has been there since they lost Ryan Malone...But even better was trading Ryan Whitney, and getting Chris Kunitz...Kunitz has had an immediate impact...

The Maple Leafs are trying to do their best at rebuilding...F*ck Burke!

The Columbus Blue Jackets finally weren't a seller....They Traded former #1 goalie Pascal LeClaire to Ottawa for forward Antoine Vermette...Vermette could possibly be that center that Rick Nash has been missing...The trade also showed the teams confidence in rookie goalie Steve Mason, who has been amazing this season....

Calgary made a big splash getting center Olli Jokinen, and defenseman Jordan Leopold....Jokinen, who it seems some team always wants to get rid of him will center the top line...Every year there is talk of this guy moving and helping a team win...Every year it doesn't workout...We shall see...

Jokinen who had been with the Coyotes, wasn't the only salary that was dumped in Phoenix...They also traded defenseman Derek Morris to the Rangers...For Petr Pruca, Nigel Dawes, and Dmitri Kalinin...Kalinin was another pussy Rangers defensemen...Morris is a little better...Hopefully he has more balls than Wade Redden, who the Blueshirts couldn't have traded for a bag of pucks...The Rangers also added Nik Antropov from Toronto...Great another underachiever...

(Morris and Antropov)

The Coyotes come out a winner in my book....Dumping loads of salary and picking up plenty of young talent and draft picks...

Just a couple loser...The Panthers will regret not trading Jay Bouwmeester...They aren't gonna do anything if they make the playoffs, and he'll be gone after the season...Minnesota should have moved Marian Gaborik...He's an amazing player...When his weak ass isn't hurt...They should have gotten something for him...Anything...(just my big mouth opinion here)

Back to the Rangers...Sean Avery is back with the Rangers, and I'm happy about it...The guy is an asshole, but....He's got great speed, good skills, and he pisses people off...Not on my team: He's a douche, and I hate him...On my team: He's a douche, and I love him...

The World Baseball Classic has started...I couldn't care less...I think this thing is stupid...It's the wrong time of the year to do it, and if the genius that I am was a manager...(wait for laughs)...I wouldn't let my players participate in it...

The Notre Dame Hockey news will be brief this week...The CCHA playoffs started this weekend...The Irish had a first round bye....Next weekend The Irish will take on the Nebraska-Omaha Mavericks in a best of three series in South Bend...

So far The Notre Dame Baseball team is 5-4 in the early season tournaments...

That's it for now...Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Another weekend behind us, but plenty to talk about...I'll start this week with the big news in Cleveland...The Browns traded TE Kellen Winslow Jr. to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers....

So far the opinions on this are mixed...Some think the Browns should have gotten more than a 2nd round pick this year, and a 5th rounder next year...With his history of injuries, and being a pain in the ass...I think it's a good deal...

(didn't you know...he's a soldier....Soldier my ass K-2...You're a douche!)

The Browns seem to be re-building on the fly...But they haven't done much other than getting this dolt outta here...I hope there are more moves to come....

In other NFL news The Chiefs pulled off a hell of a deal, snagging Matt Cassel and Mike Vrabel from the Patriots, for their 2nd round pick...

The Denver Broncos starting improving their defense,(adding Brian Dawkins) and then pissed off their quarterback Jay Cutler by talking to Tampa Bay about a possible 3 team trade that would send him there, and bring Cassel to Denver...All I can say is what the f*ck were they thinking!

Moving onto Hockey...The New York Rangers lost their first two games under new coach John Tortorella...They played tough...Tougher then they had most of the season...But they still couldn't score...Then the Colorado Avalanche came to Madison Square Garden Saturday night...The Rangers nutted up and looked like a different team...Thumping the Avs 6-1....

Everyone stepped up in this game (except that pussy Redden) including Drury and Gomez....Then it got fun...With less then 5 minutes left in the game their were 66 minutes in penalties...Apparently the Avalanche don't like getting their asses kicked...First was a little scuffle where Ian Laperriere was being his typical punk ass self trying to throw in some cheap shots from behind...Who was the free Ranger on the ice...That candy ass Redden...Everyone else had a hold of somebody...Hey Wade, drop your gloves and grab the f*cker...

Laperriere later got himself a misconduct penalty along with teammate Cody McLeod, and Rangers forward Brandon Dubinsky....Then Colton Orr pounded some Colorado punk (Chris Stewart)....That was followed by Darcy Tucker going after Paul Mara...Mara Immediately put his ass on the ice....

The best part of this may have been NHL security having to get between Avs coach Tony Granato, and Rangers assistant Jim Schoenfeld....

The worst part was having to explain why everyone was fighting at the end of the game to my daughter....She's been watching hockey with me since she was a baby...I've never had to explain it before, and I have to say it was hard...I'm all for fighting in hockey...I've never had a problem with it...But I have to say I was stumped...I tried to tell her how it's a physical game and sometimes players get upset...But for some kids that may not make sense...She went along with me, but I could tell that she didn't like the fighting...This has bothered me since I put her to bed that night...I have to say I'm okay that she didn't like the fighting she didn't like the fighting...But I hope it doesn't turn her off to the game...I also think it's bothering me because she's questioning things now...A sure sign that she's growing up....

I've got nothing good from the little Beeze this week...He was sick all weekend...If you want to find out about his weekend, read this....http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2009/02/puke.html ...

Next up...Notre Dame Hockey!

Friday night was the last regular season home game for the Fighting Irish and they did not disappoint, as they beat the shit out of the Michigan State Spartans 5-0....The Irish goal scorers were...Captain Erik Condra with 2...Justin White...Billy Maday...and Christiaan Minella....Goalie Jordan Pearce made 15 saves in the shutout victory.

Saturday night the Irish went to Michigan State and beat them 2-1...This was the first time Notre Dame has swept the Spartans since the 1978-79 season...The Goal scorers were...Erik Condra, and Christian Hanson....Pearce made 19 saves while earning his 26th victory of the season....

The Fighting Irish finish the regular season with a overall record of 27-5-3...Their conference record is 21-4-3-3...

I'm calling it right now...The Irish are taking the National Championship this year!

Now one last thing before I get outta here...I've been slowly puuting together a new site...I guess you could call it The Beezewax 2.0...My hope is that it will be just something fun...A place top talk shit about whatever...I have a few forums set up, and I'll be posting something new on the home page Monday night to maybe get some shit started...If you hover over the HOME link a link to YOU GAB will pop up also....I hope you'll check it out, and let me know what you think....

http://thebeezewax.spruz.com/

And don't forget to stop by the GAB...

http://www.yougabsports.com/

That's all for now...Have a good week...

Later, The Beeze.

Tortorella Hits The Ground Running

This was originally posted late last night at You Gab Sports....

http://www.yougabsports.com/

John Tortorella started his new job tuesday...The now Head coach of the New York Rangers jumped right in to the fire...After a team meeting Tuesday morning they hit the ice...

There were several new drills at practice...Most of them emphasizing up-tempo skating and puckhandling...Both of these being staples of Tortorella's style of play....

Tortorella also made sure to chat with several players on the ice during the morning workout...He held conversations with team captain Chris Drury, alternate captain Scott Gomez, and defenseman Wade Redden...He should have just kicked Redden's weak a$$...Fucking over-priced pussy that he is...

Torts commented on his chats by saying..."Your best players need to be your decision-makers, and they're going to get every opportunity to win hockey games for us as long as they show me they are going to compete hard, because that is something they can control."

Tortorella also explained he will taking charge of the forwards, and the Power Play...Which has struggled all season....."I think it's important that the head coach has the power play, because you are dealing with a lot of your top people, and I think that a very important aspect of a head coach is how to get the most out of your top people." He continued by saying..."Obviously if we are going to win, the power play is going to have to produce better than it has been."

Torts plans on letting assistant coach Jim Schoenfeld handle the defense pairings and penalty-kill during games...

Other changes made by Tortorella were...The removal of statistics and standings that were posted on the wall near the workout room at the training center... "because this is a fresh start," stated the head coach....He also made it known that stepping on the big Rangers' logo located on the carpet in the dressing room is a big fucking no-no...

When asked about getting to know his new team on the fly, and having 3 games in the next 4 days....

"Losing knocks you down," explained Tortorella. "I am going to push them; but as a coach you also have to understand when you need to be with them. I think this is a time to try and get them feeling decent about themselves."

He also said the best cure for the Rangers right now is simple..."There would be nothing better than a win."

I liked Renney, but this team needed a change and a spark...Torts may be the right guy for the job...I really like his attitude and the style of play he brings...Let's hope he gets the Blue shirts on track....

Later The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Here we are again...another Monday...They seem to come to quickly...Well what do I have for you this week...I'm not sure yet myself...Lets see where this cup of coffee can take us...

The New York Rangers raised two more numbers to the rafters Sunday...This time it was Harry Howell (3) and Andy Bathgate (9 shared with Adam Graves)...Two Rangers legends getting their due...I guess the organization thought if we retire Graves number for being a great guy, great teamate, and having a few great years...We better retire some greats from the past...

(Howell on the left at Bathgate's induction in the Hall of Fame)

After the festivities, the Rangers took on the Maple Leafs...Once again the Rangers inconsistent offensive play showed up...Down 2-1 with less then a minute left Michal Rozival scored the tieing goal....But the lack of offense, and the soft defense brought home an overtime loss...

I've got nothing of importance to write about baseball yet...As a Browns fan I'm starting to get excited about the draft...Hey we take what we can get...We've got a new Coach...New GM...It feels like anew attitude...A high draft pick...It's a new season, and I'm staying positive until they prove me wrong...(I really hope they don't this time)

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This weekend's highlight from the Beeze family...Of course it came from the little Beeze...He's a chip off the old block...Little dude has eczema...When it gets bad we have a couple of creams we use on him...Well the other evening he wasn't listening when we were getting them ready for bed...(as usual) My wife was trying to cream him up...Then the little perv stands up on his bed and says..."CREAM MY PEE PEE!" as he thrusts his junk in her face....I could'nt stop laughing...It was A.) Hilarious the way he did it....and B.) Seemed like something I would do....

I don't mean to step on Frag's toes...I know he's the movie guy...But on't spend money on the movie..."Still Waiting"...I knew it wouldn't be able to match the first one, but hoped it would be good...It had some good parts...and lots of hot chicks...but it seemed like they were trying too hard...

If you haven't seen "Waiting..." well what the hell is wrong with you...It's a must see....

Now to Notre Dame Hockey....

The Fighting Irish traveled to Nebraska-Omaha this weekend...

Friday night the Irish won 4-3 in overtime....The goal scorers were...Christiian Minella, Christian Hanson, and Billy Maday with 2 including the OT game winner...Jordan Pearce made 21 save in the victory...

Saturday, the Fighting Irish clinched the CCHA regular season title with a 1-0 victory over the Mavericks...The lone goal scorer was Dan Kissel...Pearce made 17 saves in the shutout victory...

In other Notre Dame News...I thought I'd share this years Notre Dame Football recruits...With a little help from BlueandGold.com...

Name
Position
Ht/Wt
Banks, E.J.
CB
5-11/181
Bullard, Alex
OG
6-3/275
Calabrese, Carlo
ILB
6-2/225
Cowart, Jordan
SNP
6-2/255
Eifert, Tyler
TE
6-6/220
Evans, Shaquelle
WR
6-1/203
Fox, Dan
OLB
6-4/219
Golic, Jake
TE
6-4/220
Martin, Zach
OT
6-5/270
Motta, Zeke
OLB
6-2/207
Riddick, Theo
RB
5-10/185
Stockton, Tyler
DT
6-1/290
Tausch, Nicholas
K
6-1/180
Te'o, Manti
ILB
6-2/225

(Te'o is expected to make an immediate impact)

Toma, Roby
WR
5-9/160
Turk, Ben
P
6-0/190
Watt, Chris
OG
6-3/280
Wood, Cierre
RB
6-0/192

Also, The Irish have put 33 offers out there for the 2010 class, and have already received 3 verbal commitments...

That's it for this Monday...I've got to get to bed...Have a good week...

Later, The Beeze.