Trying to Get Out of a Slump

Even Sparty has to hit a "Slumpbuster" sometimes!

Yes, I've been in a writing slump...So this is me trying to write my way out of it...My Monday Post did great numbers, but I wasn't happy with what I wrote...It was carried by the two pics in it, and the quality Bill Burr rant, and closed with the cute video of my baby girl dancing...The writing in between was filler...I apologize for that...

So why the slump...It started a couple weeks ago...I got some news that an old friend had passed...The how is still sketchy, but which ever way it happened, it crushed me...Not because we were close...We hadn't been in a long time...We were very close for a couple years in our youth...But over time we lost track of each other...Now I really wished we hadn't...I keep thinking, if I would have kept in touch, maybe this wouldn't have happened...The whole thing just rattled me...So, I've never been one to make a "New Year's Resolution" but I am now...I'm going to try my best to be a better friend...(No I can't lend you any money!)

Then last Saturday night I was out with some old friends from high school...We were having a blast...One guy, who was a Senior when I was a Freshman, who had taken me under his wing, showed up...I knew him well, because he was friends with my brother, and I think that's why he looked out for me right away...He was always smart, loud, obnoxious, and slightly douchey...That's why we liked him! Well, he walked into the pub, and holy fuck it got loud and obnoxious in there...And yes, slightly douchey, as he was wearing one brown shoe, and one tennis shoe...Almost 40, and he's totally the same!

The guy he rolled in with was always a funny son of a bitch...He was still funny, but the poor bastard's wife must not be...She started ringing his phone constantly, giving him shit for being out, and having some fun...Heaven forbid he see some people he hasn't seen in years...

Yeah, some of these people I hadn't seen in 12-15 years...So it's always good to break the ice with a story about paying a hooker years ago for a BLUMPY...Some people were shocked...Some were grossed out...Some were happy to see I hadn't changed either!

Of course we passed around our cell phones, and checked out each others kids...When you're in high school, you never think about being in a bar almost twenty years later with the same people, and talking about your kids...And Blumpies!

Then my phone rang...The little Beeze was puking...The wife was equipped to deal with that, and the baby, who was still awake, because she only goes to sleep for me...So I knocked back a water, cleaned the snow off my car, and got home...Yeah, I had some beers and drove...Don't get high and mighty...Most of us have done it...I'm not promoting it, it's just reality...I don't bullshit on this blog, and I'm not starting now...

So the boy was puking for a couple days...Then just as he was getting better, the baby got it...She's not a good puker...She fights it...Ends up choking herself...It's a battle...The boy, shit he just opens his mouth and lets it fly...So my little girl seemed to get over it in a day...But then it came back a couple days later...A little more puke city...I've been steam cleaning like a mother fucker...The wife and I have been pounding out laundry non-stop...And I'm just tired as fuck...The other night I slept sitting up, holding the baby because she just felt crappy and couldn't relax...It was a long couple nights, but she's okay now...

The wife and I had some quality time, and everyone is resting peacefully...Now I'm going to do the same...I hope this gets me back on track...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning....A Couple Days Late

Sorry for the delay gang...The Beeze was, as they say in Boston...Wicked F*ckin' Sick! I caught a serious case of the flu...Which has been ripping through the Fish House...

I originally though I was just getting sick watching the Fighting Irish lose their first round tournament game, to Bemidji State...Bemidji State? Yes there is such a place, and they play excellent hockey...As a matter of fact, they skated circles around the Irish...Beating them 5-1

But Notre Dame wasn't the only top seed to fall this weekend...Air Force upset Michigan....Miami beat Denver...The only top seed that got out of the first round was Boston University....the Terriers beat Ohio State (who shouldn't have gotten in) 8-3...It wasn't even that close!

The weekend was full of other great games....Minnesota-Duluth came back late to tie Princenton....Then put the Tigers away in overtime...But Minnesota-Duluth would not get past a hot Miami team, as the Red Hawks took the West Region...

In the East Region Vermont took out Yale 4-1...Then went to double overtime with Air Force, before winning 3-2, and heading to DC for the Frozen Four...

In the Northeast Region the winner of two traditional college hockey powers...New Hampshire and North Dakota, would face BU for a trip to DC....The Sioux were up 5-3 in the third...But the Wildcats of UNH battled back....Tying the game with under 5 seconds left...Then UNH finished the comeback 15 seconds into OT....This game was awesome! Unfortunately For the Wildcats it was short lived...They lost the next night to BU 2-1 with 15 seconds left in regulation...

That brings us to the Midwest Region...Cornell beat Northeasterb 3-2...Then came the Irish melt down...Really it isn't all on the Irish...The beavers of Bemidji State played a great game...The Beavers goalie Matt Dalton was outstanding...And Tyler Scofield was without a doubt the best player on the ice all night....So what would Bemidji State do against Cornell...WIN AGAIN! 4-1...The Beavers join Boston University, Vemont, and Miami, in the Frozen Four....

This was a very disappointing way to end the season for the Irish...The team had high hopes...as did big mouths like me! On the slightly brighter side...Irish center Christian Hanson signed a 2 year deal with the Toronto Maple Leafs this week...Best of luck to him....


In other new in the world of the Beeze....The Mrs. did something very special for me this week....No guys...Not the BLUMPY....She colored her hair red for me...

For those who don't remember.... http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2009/02/women.html


Now due to the Fish House Flu I haven't seen it in all it's glory...But I hope to have that red hair in my lap very soon....

Sunday night the You Gab crew, had our D&T Fantasy Baseball draft...I was lucky enough to be picking 11th out of 12...As I sat there wrapped in a blanket, around round 5 I began to wonder what the hell I was doing...I'm not thrilled with my team but I projected myself getting about 7 of the players I did...Here's how it went....
1Tim Lincecum (P, SF)

2Ian Kinsler (2B, TEX) My strategy was to grab these two guys with my first two picks...Well I would have taken Pedroia, but some other douche grabbed him up....

3Geovany Soto (C, CHN) This pick was also planned...But I'm not sure why I took Bay next...Maybe the Fever...

4Jason Bay (OF, BOS)

5Shane Victorino (OF, PHI) I planned on going for Victorino here or in the 6th and grabbing a pitcher with the other pick...I like these two picks
6Daisuke Matsuzaka (P, BOS)

7Jhonny Peralta (SS, CLE) I thought I good get Peralta here...Big numbers this year...Wait and see...

8Francisco Liriano (P, MIN) Idon't know...I dropped him already to get another reliever...I picked up Wheeler from the Rays....

9Aubrey Huff (1B, BAL)

10Brad Hawpe (OF, COL)

11B.J. Ryan (P, TOR)

12J.J. Hardy (SS, MIL)
I like These two picks ...Young guys with lots of upside...
13James Loney (1B, LAD)

14Jeremy Guthrie (P, BAL)
15Ted Lilly (P, ! CHN)

16A.J. Pierzynski (C, CHA) I dropped him already...Not sure why I picked him...Grabbed up Felipe Lopez....He's having a good spring and is gonna play everyday...

17Fausto Carmona (P, CLE) I think Fausto is gonna bounce back this year, and be dominant...
18Denard Span (OF, MIN) Big Season from this kid!

19Oliver Perez (P, NYN) Takin' a chance here...

Is anyone still awake after that....F*ck I dozed off for a couple minutes...Sorry for all the long winded college hockey and fantasy baseball talk...Stilltrying to get back in the swing of things...Have a good week...

Later, The Beez

What Men Want

This post is inspired by Cherie / Butterfly Dreamer....http://butterflydreamer-dreamlight.blogspot.com/2009/02/what-do-men-want.html

She wrote what I consider a beautiful rant...I love a good rant...It started some good comments also...Then I also got a great e-mail tonight...I'll be sharing what that is about later this week...But right now, I thought I would share my take on what men want...Well at least what I want...

It would be easy to steal the three Fs from a great comic..."Feed me! F**k me! And shut the F**k up!

But that's not it...Maybe because my wife can't cook...No sh!t, she has burned water...Seriously...Her in a kitchen doing anything but getting bent over by me is bad...

As boys, and continuing as we grow into men we are taught women are complex, and impossible to figure out...We as men are often portrayed as dolts...A lump of sh!t sitting on the couch, watching the game, scratching our junk, and being told to stop procrastinating....Oh and we never put the seat down...What a crock of sh!t....I always put the seat down, and I close the lid!!!

Girls, and women are told that men aren't sensitive...and need to be trained...I got a train for ya!

Some of us are just as sensitive as women...But the difference...Women are told that their emotions and sensitivity are good things...Boys growing up are often taught that these are bad things...The only time to show emotion is when playing sports...But don't you cry pussy....Many boys are taught to suppress things...Their old man saying..."Don't be so soft!" "Stop being so sensitive!"

"Knuckle up!" So on and so forth...

Now I know some people are saying The Beeze isn't sensitive...Mr. F**k this, and F**k that...Mr. you're a C*nt...But you're wrong...I've got a soft side...And yes I hide it often...Look at my profile picture...A f**king goalie mask...I would say that speaks volumes....With help,I have been slowly pulling the mask away...

You women have us pegged wrong...We are just as complex...That's why there is the natural attraction between men and women....(Well most of the time)

Now to what men want...Well at least speaking for myself...Shut up during the game...You can talk during commercials...I doubt it's anything important...Especially when I just Jr.'s college fund on the Patriots, and Brady just got knocked out of the game...

Try some of this freaky sh!t I watch on the computer every night...You don't like the fact that I watch so much porn...Then be willing to get dirty once in a while...

At least pretend like you're listening when I'm talking about how the Rangers pissed me off tonight....If I gotta listen to go on and on about those stupid ass Twilight books, you could at least return the favor...

If we are at the movies, and it's something we haven't seen yet...Don't ask me what's going to happen....I've seen the same sh!t as you...If I could see the future I wouldn't have wasted $20 to go see this piece of sh!t...

Now this is the BIGGY....

I want a BLUMPY!!!

If you don't know what this wonderful gift is...Wow! You need to find out...I'm here for ya....A BLUMPY is when you are getting a blow job while taking a sh!t...

You're thinking WTF Beeze!?!

Don't knock it until you try it....I enjoy dropping a good deuce...Mix that with the joy and beauty of a woman wrapping her lips around the business end of my c*ck...Now that is wonderful....

Problem is not many gals are up for that kind of challenge...I've only received this gift from two women...They both charged by the hour...Ha!!!

Mrs. Beeze gave this a big NO!!! Followed by a What the F**k is wrong with you...

But hey, I said I was gonna say what I want in this post...There it is....

I'd give up on the others for the Blumpy....In the long run it may be easier to drop and gobble while I dump, then to pony up the rest of the list...

Later, The Beeze

Ask Doctor Beeze

I have to be honest...I'm hung over, and I've been dealing with a slight case of writer's block...I've started 4 posts, but been unhappy with them all...So they have been sh!t canned...There hasn't been anything p!ssing me off lately, like Oprah...Football season is basically done...You know, except for the "Super Bowl" of course...The NHL season is on their All-Star break....Watch the skills competition tonight...Skip the All-Star game on Sunday...Like most All-Star games, it's crap...Oh and the stupid fans vote in the wrong players....Any who...

You may be asking yourself what's with the title...Well gang the Beeze has a PhD in sh!t talkin' and bullsh!ttin'....So I thought I would put these skills to use...So I'm going to start taking questions from readers...Leave your questions in the comments section, and I will post my advice/answers....

I have recently been asked a few questions, and I thought I would share them with you, along with my answers...

The first question comes from Tim in Cleveland..."Why won't my wife give me a BLUMPY?"

First for those who don't know...A BLUMPY is when a women...or man gives you a blow job while you're taking a crap....Well Tim, you sick f**k, Your wife probably won't give you a BLUMPY because, because she has self-respect...Oh and because it's gross...Yes I know the combination of getting your knob slobbed, and dropping a deuce at the same time feels great, but only for you...That's the type of thing hookers do...good hookers...not your wife.

The next question is from a JURK...http://turkthejurk.blogspot.com/

"Why do My co-workers give me sh!t about being such a huge Radiohead fan?"

Well Jurk, it's because even though Radiohead is talented, many people are tools and just want to hear hits...They want another "Creep"...The other reason is that those cats from Radiohead seem like a bunch of fruits, and even though the people you work with play grab-a$$, and the "penis showing game" they are still somehow homophobic.

I hope this was helpful...Feel free to ask the Beeze your questions...T

Take it easy, the Beeze.