Monday Moaning (things I love)

Well, as I write this, my wife and daughter are watching The Oscars, and I figured I'd come down to the man-cave/playroom and knock out my blog...The only reason in my opinion to tune into the Oscars would be to look at Anne Hathaway...By why do that when I can just pull up the hot and dirty parts of her career online!?!

So a couple weeks for Valentine's Day, instead of being lovey-dovey, I filled my post with hate...You know, shit that pisses me off...There may have been some people who didn't like that sentiment...Now anyone who reads my blog regularly should know what to expect, but some people are just silly sometimes...

So this week's post is going to be a bunch of things I love...Besides Myself and my family, cause I guess I made that clear already! And since I couldn't tell you what's going on in the world of sports other than the shit you already know, why not just do a nice fluff piece...Oh, and Rex Ryan, can you stop making stupid statements about winning the "Super Bowl" every off-season...Go suck a toe fatty!

Okay, first I clearly love Anne Hathaway, and other such sexy woman, like ROSIE_JONES!

I love Hockey...Playing it, watching it...I'll watch any level...It's the greatest sport out there...

I love blogging...I love getting my true thoughts and feeling out there...even if those thoughts and feelings are filled with hate at times...At least it's honest!

I love great comedians like Bill Burr, Patrice O'Neal, Jim Norton, the late, great George Carlin, and Louis CK...All are funny, and smart...This past week, on the O & A show Louis CK not only asked Donald Rumsfeld if he was a flesh eating lizard...But before that he made some amazing points about Corporate America...Yes, it's a long clip that has two others that follow it, but if you have time, take a listen....

I love my XM Satellite Radio...Not just for Opie and Anthony...I not hearing the same shitty play lists that every shitty radio station beat into your head...

I love Notre Dame...Not just the sports...The whole damn campus...I love it in the Fall...

And I love it in the Winter...

The Spring is nice too!

I love Macho Salad...




I love the word fuck...It's the best word going...Really, there's nothing you can't do with it...






I also love to fuck!

I love music...All kinds of music...I love Jazz...Real jazz...None of that Kenny G shit...I'm talking John Coltrane and Thelonious Monk Jazz...




Yes, and anyone who reads me knows, I love Our Lady Peace...



And I love it when they take a song by some one else, that I don't like, and make me like it...




I love Great Lakes Beers...Conway's Irish Ale was my friend Saturday night!

I Love Irish Car Bombs!

I love porn! Find that on your own creeps!

I love Twitter...I get so much news and bullshit from people's link on there it's great...It makes things even easier for our lazy ass society...

I love technology, but is shit like this going to kill off people playing real musical instruments one day?




I and my son, we love Drinking out of Cups...



I'm sure I could go on for days, but I want to have a drink, watch some porn, and keep watching NORM_MACDONALD'S twitter feed, as he trashes The Oscars!


Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits

Well it's Hump Day again so I figure I should fire off the hits...First there is a story I feel isn't getting enough coverage...It's Dave_Duerson's_Story, and it's tragic and hopeful, and it's real...

I'm not sure what else to write about...The Middle East is going bat-shit crazy, and people are revolting against leaders who have been in power for 20-40 years...Many that the U.S. Government put in power, or at least supported over the years...

Our lovely boys and girls in DC are fighting over the budget...Many want to cut things that will shit all over the slowly fading away, middle-class...Yet they aren't willing to cut things that will affect them...Hey John Boehner, stop crying so damn much and cut your benefits and pay first...And since I mentioned this crying douche...Listen, I have no problem with a guy being emotional, but this prick cries anytime some one says boo...I hate Nancy Pelosi, but let's be honest, if she was to ever cry in public, she would get destroyed for it...

Oh, and since I'm rolling here, can Republicans stop talking about wanting less government, while they tell people who they can and can't marry...'We want less government involvement, unless it's us telling you who you can fuck.'

I don't really want to get into an abortion debate, but I do want to say this...You hold no real moral high ground if you tell some one abortion is wrong, that they are taking a life...And then you turn around and kill a doctor who performs abortions...All you are is what you call them...A murder, and last I looked you don't hold the position of judge, jury, and executioner...

Wisconsin's new governor is going to war with unions and got busted via a crank call basically admitting he wants to take all unions down...Oh, and can people stop comparing Wisconsin to Egypt...I haven't seen any Molotov cocktails or gun fire there...It's not even close, so get a hold of yourself...

Also this week, 4 U.S. citizens were killed by Somali pirates after being hijacked, and held for ransom...Okay, I've had enough of this pirate bullshit...

Seriously, we need to start hunting these assholes down and killing them...I'm not fucking joking! They understand death, so maybe if we kill enough of these assholes off, they'll get the point...Knock this shit off, or we will kill you ass-hats...

Okay, this week's hits are kinda heavy...So let's get a laugh in here...Monday I talked about Patrice O'Neal's hilarious stand up special...Well here's a clip of Patrice on a radio show, trying to understand white people...It's funny cause for a certain generation, it's true...

Now, for the important part...Since I avoided sports in this week's hits, and Spring Training has started...Lets look at some Baseball Wives...

A. Heidi DeRosa

B. Heidi Hamels

C. Lisa Dergan Posednik

Later, The Beeze.

Dave Duerson's Last Statement

Dave Duerson was an old school, hard-nosed, smart, Football player, who had earned 2 Super Bowl rings during his NFL career...He was also a standout at Notre Dame...Since he retired he had been a very vocal advocate for NFL player's rights...Past and present...In the last few years he lost his business, his home and his wife...Recently he had told friends he was having issues with the left side of his brain...

I guess it got to be too much for for him...Friday Duerson was found dead after a self inflicted gunshot wound to the chest...Before doing so, he texted his family, saying he wanted his brain donated to be studied for CTE, chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a disease caused by repeated blows to the head...

Duerson's brain has been donated to Boston University...They have studied 14 other former NFL players brains there, and 13 of those had CTE...

His son has said "He was looking for an answer, and he's hoping to be a part of an answer."

In a letter to his ex-wife Alicia, he described blurred vision and pain, "on the left side of his brain."

Alicia Duerson said, “I think it’s just an example of the type of person he is...In his time, he put the future in front of him...future generations of football players in front of him. I’m just so proud of him at this moment.”

Personally, I'm kind of blown away by this story...It's seems like such a strong and courageous statement...Yet, how much of him killing himself was based on just stopping the pain...I guess, in the end, it's just sad.

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Welcome again to Monday...Since Spring Training is getting underway, there has been a lot of blogs being posted about Baseball again...People are getting geared up for Baseball season...Me, I'm having trouble...One reason, Hockey season is going strong, the trade deadline is approaching, and teams are making their push towards the Playoffs...

The second reason I'm not fired up about Baseball...I live in Cleveland! We like snow with our Opening Day, and I'm sick of snow, as I look out the window, and see more falling...But even more than that...The Indians sucked last year...And guess what, they're going to suck this year too...This off-season, the big acquisition was signing aging infielder, Orlando Cabrera...Yeah, he's a decent guy to have on the roster, but this team already has 5 middle infielders...You see, GM Mark Shapiro is obsessed with utility players...Well a team full of those guys doesn't cut it...

Then there is the pitching staff...All young...All potential...Fausto Carmona is the "Ace" of the staff...He's got some good stuff, but he's young, and has had a tendency to be wild...After that it is a pack of unproven guys, that we've been told have lots of potential...Year after year this franchise has had loads of potential, and just when a number of those guys are reaching that potential, they are traded away...

Now most people in this town blame ownership, and say he's cheap...The few defenders will point out how he isn't cheap, that the Tribe overpaid Travis Hafner, and Jake Westbrook, and signed a worn out Kerry Wood...So then I guess he's stupid...Actually yes...Larry Dolan is stupid, because he has put all his trust and faith into GM/President Mark Shapiro, and he has done with his money, whatever Shapiro told him to do...So maybe stupid and cheap! Either way, the Indians won't be a good, competitive team, until Mark Shapiro is gone!

And the Indians brass is wondering why they're having trouble selling Season Ticket plans...Well, for the same reason the Cavaliers are having trouble selling tickets, and Season Tickets...The economy sucks, and it really sucks here...So if you put a shitty product out there, people aren't going to pay big money for it...Listen, if I want to go see Triple-A Baseball, I can go do it a lot cheaper then going to an Indians game!

As for the Cavs...Now I haven't gone to a NBA game since high school, and I don't plan on doing now...So you can imagine my joy when I got a cold call from the Cavaliers, trying to sell a special offer on tickets...EAT A DICK! I didn't pay to see them when "The King" was here, why the fuck would I start making myself suffer now?

Didn't I mention Hockey before? Yes I did...Hey did you know Sunday was "Hockey Day in America"? I'll assume most people didn't...Just us Hockey geeks...This was a little thing the NHL cooked up to get people fired up for Hockey...A bunch of feel-good stories about pond hockey, and this American hockey great and that American hockey great...Two televised games in the afternoon, and then finish the day off with "The Heritage Classic" in Calgary...Flames vs. Canadiens...

The NHL is hoping this will give them a boost...That's fine, and it may have today, but I think the NHL needs to start to except what it is...I believe Bill Burr put best when he said, "Hockey is a rogue sport." ...The NHL continues to reach out and try to grab the casual fan...Change rules to try and push scoring, and open the game up for the "stars"...Now sometimes you do land a casual fan...Everything does...But if you fuck with things too much, you start to turnoff your base...Hockey people love hockey, and they'll watch junior, and minor league, and college...I watch College Hockey every week...There's always something to fill the void...

So I'm asking the NHL, to except what you are...You'll never be the NFL, the NBA, or MLB...That's okay...Don't play to the lowest common denominator...Be what you are, and your fans will always support you...Also hope for the NFL and NBA to have serious labor issues, that shut them down next season...They may give Hockey another nice boost...As long as the NHL doesn't have another lockout!

Before I go, lets get a laugh in here...Saturday night Patrice O'Neal had a comedy special on Comedy Central...It was hilarious...Here's a taste of Patrice's brand of Humor...




One last thing...Last week, some people didn't like the tone of Monday Moaning...Not that it was very different from what it is each week...But some didn't like the 'hate' vibe it had...So each week, I'm going to make sure I put something in my post, that I love...

I love good music...I heard this version of this song driving home from work Saturday night...It was the first time it had been played on Cleveland radio in 20 years, and it was great...One of my favorites, Van Morrison, doing a great Bob Dylan song...




Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits

Ahhh, as American as warm apple pie! Yes, it's time for the Hump Day hits again...We took last week off, and we're posting early this week, or else it won't get posted at all...

What's first this week...Well the NFL labor talks haven't been going very well so far, and even the talking heads who had been positive that a deal would get done, are changing their tune now...Owners ripping players during talks...Yes, Carolina's Jerry Richardson ripped Peyton Manning...Hey asshole, that's my job! He also dissed Drew Brees...Reports say Richardson was sarcastic when Manning was talking about players' safety...Richardson said, "What do you know about player safety?"

What a dick! Some one should have asked him what he knows about running a football team, seeing as how his sucks balls!

Me personally, I hope there is no NFL next year...Let these rich guys on both sides of the table show their true colors...They've got the hottest ticket around...This country is Football crazy, and loves the NFL...They all make a fortune off of us fans, and these millionaires are all gonna bitch about money...Fuck'em! I'll watch college and high school football...I'm from Cleveland, I'm use to not having NFL Football!

The St. Louis Cardinals have offered Albert Pulos $200 million over 8 years...They are fucking nuts...The guys numbers have been slipping for the last few years...His strikeouts are up...Doubles are down...Average is down...He's become just a power hitter...And I hate to agree with Colin Cowherd, but power hitters are in the top 3 most overpaid professional athletes...And 8 years...Dude doesn't have 8 great years left in him...Maybe 5 good years...This is why baseball continues to struggle...The award contracts based on what you use to do, and not what you can do..."Baseball is always looking in the rear-view mirror"...

Next, I have to hit on the Grammy's briefly...I watched a lot of the show, and I have to say, most of it sucked...Most of the music nominated, sucked...Most of the music performed sucked...And most of the show as a whole sucked...And please, nobody tell me again how great Arcade Fire is...All they did was blind everyone with their non-stop strobing lights, so they couldn't see the band play very average music, and scream into their mics...And why do so many bands now sound like they're just ripping crap from the '80s?




Next thing about the Grammy's and all award shows really...Can stupid gay guys stop telling us what is a fashion disaster...Yes, some gay guy said that Rihanna's dress was a "fashion disaster"...



Dude, this is fashion gold....That's the type of dress we need to see more of...Excuse me while I look just a bit more...

Now for the most important part of Hump Day...This week we're going to look at the new Adam Sandler movie that the media has been trying to force down our throats...On this fine Hump day, Which of Sandler's lovely co-stars would you most like to Hump?

A. Brooklyn Decker

B. Jennifer Aniston

C. Nicole Kidman

It's not even fair is it?

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning (Valentine's Day edition)

Well it's Valentine's Day...Another horse shit day to make us spend money, and say I love you to the people we should probably just say it to every day...What a bunch of crap! But yes, I got Mrs. Beeze flowers, and I got her chocolate covered strawberries...WHY? because I like to put my dick in her, so I do what needs to be done for the greater good!

Last week, after Monday's post I wasn't around at all...I just wasn't very inspired to write...I didn't care what was going on...I was tired...And honestly, there were nights that I just wanted to hang with my kids...Especially the baby...She's my favorite! She doesn't talk...She always smiles at me, and acts like I'm the cat's ass...She's my girl!

Anyway, I was trying to figure out what to write about this week...Well with all this Valentine's love in the air, I thought I'd bring the hate...People say you shouldn't hate...Well, hate is a normal, human feeling/reaction...It's as normal as masturbation! And probably a more common feeling than love...So I'm bringing some hate to your Valentine's Day!

Right now, I'm hating the 250 people I hate to cook for at The Fish House Saturday night...What a needy bunch of cunts! Who knew so many assholes had so many horseshit allergies to so many things...If you have a Shellfish Allergy, you can't eat the Lobster Bisque dummy...Hell, you probably don't want to eat at a seafood joint!

What else am I hating? The New York Islanders and Pittsburgh Penguins are always on that list, but after Friday night, I see some new candidates for the Skull Fuck Hall of Fame...Clearly the Islanders were pissed their shitty goalie got laid out with one punch a couple weeks ago, so Friday they were going to send a message...Here are some numbers from the game...17 Fighting Majors...59 Penalties...300+ Penalty Minutes...9 Game Misconducts...The Penguins ended the game with 6 skaters...The Islanders ended with 9...

Okay, I'm all for the fighting in Hockey, but this one got a bit out of control...I'm adding the refs to the Hate list, because these dolts should have known some shit was going to happen...I hate the Penguins, although in many situations the Islanders were the instigators, and taking some cheap shots...But the Pens weren't innocent...Let's go to the video...everything is included in this one...




The Islanders I have always hated thanks to my loyalty to the New York Rangers...But the shit some of those guys pulled has taken it up a notch...No wonder you're the worst team in the league...Between the dummy owner...The fuck-tard GM...The bad coach, and the hack goon-squad, you dopes don't stand a chance...

Next on my shit list...Over-positive Cleveland fan...I've beat on these people before, so why stop now? Yes, there are people trying to give the Cavaliers' record setting losing streak a positive spin..."Hey the Cavs will have a better chance at winning the Draft Lottery" SO! A better chance, big fucking shit...Draft a potential superstar, and watch him leave a few years later...AWESOME!

But worse is the Cleveland fan who wants to point out that this losing streak "doesn't define us"...No shit ass-hat! I don't play basketball, let alone for that shit team...Basketball and the Cavaliers come no where near close to defining me...No silly sports team does...And if you are concerned with talking-heads in the media using sports teams to define you as a person or your city, well dummy, you are their target audience...

Lastly, I'm going to hate Neil Young...This one hurts a bit because I always liked Neil Young...But then I heard a newer song of his..."Angry World"...Well if wasn't already a "angry world" before, it is now after hearing this shit...



Didn't Neil write, "It's better to burn out, then to fade away"...Well I have to say, Neil, You've burned out, and I wish you would have faded away...What a steaming pile of shit!

Now, I'm getting out of here...If you don't recall, the Mrs. and I had a deal based on her performing oral favors, and well, she's built up a back-log...

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

So Sunday was the BIG Game...It has a name that the league wants to charge everyone for using...What is that BIG Game called again? Oh yeah, "The Super Bowl"...Well like all major sporting events in this country, it all begins with a pre-game show filled with way too much hype...Then it gets going with the National Anthem...This year Christina Aguilera decided to show everyone how to completely butcher the song...Stupid fucking twat! She shuffled words, completely missed lines...What gash!



Hey Christina, Choke Yourself!




Then of course there was the Halftime show with the Black Eyed Peas...Wow did that suck...First the sound guy had the music too loud...Then Fergie's mic was down...Christ she' the only one who can sing in that merry band of ass-hats...Then Slash from Guns & Roses came out, and she sang a bit of "Sweet Child 'O Mine"...Too bad they just didn't let Slash stay out there and play guitar for the rest of the show...



Then we always have to hear about the Commercials...Here's some more over-hyped bullshit! I really don't bother with this crap, but it's what keeps my wife in the room...She got a kick out of this PEPSI_MAX one...

Oh, I guess there was also a game played too...But that's what the BIG Game has become...A holiday...Hell even The Fish House is closed for the BIG Game...Hours of pre-game...A bad Anthem...A bad Halftime show...Commercials...A big post game show...And a game thrown in the middle of all that...Sometimes good, sometimes bad...

This one wasn't bad...Some good Defense, and some good Offense...And Ben Rapelisburger throwing some picks! The Green Packers won it 31-25...Don't expect me to break this shit down like Ron Jaworski...I'm not watching tape...I was cooking, I was stuffing my face, and dealing with the the kids, and casually watching the game, like most people who don't have a true rooting interest in the game...I'm glad the Packers won...I just hope any young ladies who see Big Ben are safe...He may want to take his frustration out on some one...

Moving onto Hockey, the NHL has it's own version of Brett Favre...His name is Peter Forsberg...For what has to be the 5th time, he is going to make another comeback with the Colorado Avalanche...He likes to do it Roger Clemens style...You know, comeback after the all-star break, grab a bunch of cash, play half a season, and get his ego stroked...I hope he gets taken out in his first game back...I'm so sick of these guys...Now all he needs is some cock shots and steroid allegations...Fuck him!

Now, I have to do some pimping...First for my friend who teaches Yoga...She has put together a thing called "Rock_&_Roll_Yoga"...there m may actually be a way to get me to check out some Yoga...

The editor is being a real cunt right now...Actually both editors that I've tried...I'm getting pissed, and the wife is offering 1 of the 3 Blow Jobs she owes me...So fuck this I'm out of here...

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Old Time Hockey...Best Game of the Year

Last night in Boston, some Old Time Hockey broke out...One second into the game, this happened...




After that fight was done...One second later, this happened...




After that was taken care of, four seconds later this happened...



Then within the next one minute and fifteen seconds, the Bruins had scored two goals...Then a couple minutes later, this happened...




Nice! The Bruins took a 4-0 lead into the first intermission...That's a hell of a first period! Then they held on for a 6-3 win...It may not have been the best game of the year, but it was without a doubt, the best one minute and twenty seconds of hockey this season!

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Friday Finger Pop

Happy Friday folks...

I'm having issues to day...Blogger keeps crashing...Then my IE drops out...posting this has been a pain in the ass since last night...

First, The punch felt all through Hockey...



Rick DiPietro has been the most overrated goalie in Hockey for years...And then that asshole GM Garth Snow gave him a 15 year deal...He sucks! So he decides to take a shot at Matt Cooke...Okay, Cooke is a douche...But then he squares off with Johnson...One punch and he crumpled...What a twat! Could the Islanders give Billy Smith a call and see if he could show this ass-hat how to fight like a man...Or at least dirty! Smith was good at that too...

In Baseball Andy Pettitte is going to retire...People are trying to make a big deal out of this, but you know what...I don't fucking care...Fuck him...He's a fucking steroid using cheater, and just because he admitted to it, after his name was leaked, and apologized, doesn't change the fact that he did it...He's a fucking cheater! Just because you apologized doesn't mean you and your numbers aren't tarnished...I'm so sick of the Baseball world, and Baseball writers and talking heads, quickly forgiving and forgetting what these guys did...They made us believe the numbers are so important, so hold the cheaters to that...Pettite is crap...Fuck him!

Then there has been all this crazy shit in Egypt...I have to admit, I have enjoyed watching this shit...Including seeing Anderson Cooper getting punched upside the head! I don't have an official stance, because depending on my mood, my first thought about anything going on in the Middle East is often, 'Fuck them!' Let the whole damn region burn...But I know that is narrow minded...So I'll just hold back for now...

Now to jump into some more political waters that gets some people stirred up...Iowa's politicians apparently are anti-gay marriage, and anti-gay parenting...Well I'm anti-dummy...I'm all for gay people who want to get married...(No I'm not going to throw that old joke out there either)...And I don't think two gay people will screw up raising kids any worse than the countless piece of crap straight parents we see every day, who are just horrible fucking people...But here is a guy named Zach Wahls who spoke on the subject much more eloquently then I ever could...




Now to the best part of Friday...Some sweet finger popping asses...

Have a good weekend...Go Packers!

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits

Okay, I'm posting this early in case this big Ice Storm, followed by Snow Storm knocks my power out...

Normally the Hits has a bunch of sports crap in it, but this week I don't have much in the sports world...But I have a bit in the Hockey world...Sidney Crosby has been whining about blindside-head shots ever since David Steckel laid him out in the "Winter Classic"...



Of course there are the Crosby defenders who are on his side...And then there are people like me who can't stand this whining ass-hat...Listen, I agree blindside-head shots are a bad thing, and the penalty needs to be harsh...BUT...Crosby didn't have anything to say about blindside-head shots when his teammate Matt Cooke ended Marc Savard's season with one...

BUT...there's another reason I think Crosby is being a bitch, and I'm glad he got laid out...There's something they ignored in the broadcast of the "Winter Classic"...Okay, the mentioned it when it happened, and just passed right by it...Then moments later Steckel got payback for his team...Just before he put Sid the skid on the ice, Crosby slashed a Capitals player across the wrist...The cameras didn't bother to show that player riving in pain of the bench...Hockey has always policed itself, and Steckel handed down the punishment...

Now a head shot and wrist slash may not be an equal swap, but what if the Capitals player's wrist was broken? He'd be out just as long as Crosby and his concussed head...So fuck'em...Especially after watching that show on HBO that showed off how much he bitched and whined at refs...I'd love to play one shift against Crosby...Afterwards I'd be escorted to the locker room, and he'd be laying in a puddle of his own piss, shit, and blood!

Now onto a totally different topic...Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, you know that asshole from that retarded show, "Jersey Shore"...This fuck-tard made $5 million last year...$5 million to workout, tan, party, and come as close as possible to sexually assaulting women as he could without having charges pressed...Seriously!?! Remember when MusicTeleVision showed music videos...Now it's shit like this, and "Teen Mom"...What the hell happened? $5 million to be a stereotypical ginzo douche! If this is what "The American Dream" has become, then fucking 2012 can't come soon enough!

I saw this a few days ago thanks to Twitter, and it's everywhere now...Just a little more proof that so many of the talking heads on TV have no clue about what they are saying...Just reading the prompter...



Now for the most important part of the show...This week we're going to choose from some lovely Hockey wives...

So on this fine Winter Storm Warning Hump Day, which Hockey Wife would you most like to drop the gloves with?


A. Emma Anderson

B. Carrie Underwood




C. Hilary Duff




That's it for now...

Later, The Beeze.