Monday Moaning (things I love)

Well, as I write this, my wife and daughter are watching The Oscars, and I figured I'd come down to the man-cave/playroom and knock out my blog...The only reason in my opinion to tune into the Oscars would be to look at Anne Hathaway...By why do that when I can just pull up the hot and dirty parts of her career online!?!

So a couple weeks for Valentine's Day, instead of being lovey-dovey, I filled my post with hate...You know, shit that pisses me off...There may have been some people who didn't like that sentiment...Now anyone who reads my blog regularly should know what to expect, but some people are just silly sometimes...

So this week's post is going to be a bunch of things I love...Besides Myself and my family, cause I guess I made that clear already! And since I couldn't tell you what's going on in the world of sports other than the shit you already know, why not just do a nice fluff piece...Oh, and Rex Ryan, can you stop making stupid statements about winning the "Super Bowl" every off-season...Go suck a toe fatty!

Okay, first I clearly love Anne Hathaway, and other such sexy woman, like ROSIE_JONES!

I love Hockey...Playing it, watching it...I'll watch any level...It's the greatest sport out there...

I love blogging...I love getting my true thoughts and feeling out there...even if those thoughts and feelings are filled with hate at times...At least it's honest!

I love great comedians like Bill Burr, Patrice O'Neal, Jim Norton, the late, great George Carlin, and Louis CK...All are funny, and smart...This past week, on the O & A show Louis CK not only asked Donald Rumsfeld if he was a flesh eating lizard...But before that he made some amazing points about Corporate America...Yes, it's a long clip that has two others that follow it, but if you have time, take a listen....

I love my XM Satellite Radio...Not just for Opie and Anthony...I not hearing the same shitty play lists that every shitty radio station beat into your head...

I love Notre Dame...Not just the sports...The whole damn campus...I love it in the Fall...

And I love it in the Winter...

The Spring is nice too!

I love Macho Salad...




I love the word fuck...It's the best word going...Really, there's nothing you can't do with it...






I also love to fuck!

I love music...All kinds of music...I love Jazz...Real jazz...None of that Kenny G shit...I'm talking John Coltrane and Thelonious Monk Jazz...




Yes, and anyone who reads me knows, I love Our Lady Peace...



And I love it when they take a song by some one else, that I don't like, and make me like it...




I love Great Lakes Beers...Conway's Irish Ale was my friend Saturday night!

I Love Irish Car Bombs!

I love porn! Find that on your own creeps!

I love Twitter...I get so much news and bullshit from people's link on there it's great...It makes things even easier for our lazy ass society...

I love technology, but is shit like this going to kill off people playing real musical instruments one day?




I and my son, we love Drinking out of Cups...



I'm sure I could go on for days, but I want to have a drink, watch some porn, and keep watching NORM_MACDONALD'S twitter feed, as he trashes The Oscars!


Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Straight From the Little Beeze's Mouth

I realized today that my Monday Moaning post didn't include anything about the Little Beeze...When this happens, I hear about it...The little guy has gotten a bit of a following...So before I put him to bed tonight, I told him I was going to do a blog for him...I asked him what he wanted in it...Any pictures, or videos, or songs...Whatever he picked...That's why this post opened with a shark jumping out of the water...As I wrote in my vacation posts, Little Beeze is really into sharks...He got his fourth toy shark yesterday in a dollar bin...He loves having those sharks eat stuff...

My parents gave him a bunch of my old G.I.Joes and he's broken them apart, pretending the sharks are eating them...He loves to have their legs dangling from a sharks mouth...Should we be worried? Maybe I should get him a toy seal....

In other Little Beeze news, we've been trying to get his mouth under control...Little dude is a swearing machine, and the following video is not helping, but it's one of his favorites, and he wanted it in...



The best part is he has can recite it almost word for word, and he does the accent perfectly...The wife gets mad every time I let him watch it, because he walks around the house just repeating parts of it...

He's also excited about his little sister that's due in December...He loves babies, and he got a kick out of this one on AFV...



That little kid looks like he has some good form...

Lastly, he picked a song...I've corrupted my children's musical taste from day one...It started with headphones on my wife's belly during all the pregnancies...My kids have heard everything from John Coltrane, to The Who, to Van Halen, to Counting Crows...And that's what he picked...His favorite Counting Crows song is "Holiday in Spain", mainly for the line, "Hop on my choo choo, I'll be your engine driver in a bunny suit. You can dress me up in pink and white, we may be just a little fuzzy 'bout later tonight." And I wonder why he's a little pervert!



Now I have to remember to pound it into his head on the way to school tomorrow, 'Don't repeat the lizard video at school!'

Later, The Beeze.

Back on the Grid and Back from Vacation

This is right down the road from where we were for a week...The town of Aquinnah on Martha's Vineyard...It's also known as Gay Head, but we'll go with Aquinnah...Let me start by saying, I'm not a beach person...I don't swim, I never liked the whole hanging out in the sun getting skin cancer all day thing...Yes I always go to the worst case scenario...It's just never been my thing, but it is easier to do when you know you'll be drinking all day! It also helps to love hanging with the people you'll be there with, which I do...

This trip was important to my wife...She needed it...We couldn't really afford to spent the money we did with the baby on the way, but she needed to get away...She needed to relax, which she did...She needed to spend time with her sister, niece, nephew, and brother-in-law...Her parents were there too... Her family is great, and I love spending time with them, and it's always hard to leave...Once a year is not enough, and we are really trying to figure out a way to get there full time...Winning the Mega Millions would be the easiest way...Buying tickets today!

So I had no Internet for 10 days...My system was in shock...Although it was kinda nice, until I realized I had no control of my fantasy teams, I couldn't checkout my favorite sites, I couldn't blog, NO PORN!!! What was I gonna do? I got a notebook and kept a journal...Surprisingly as I read through at, I wasn't going nuts about not being able to tweet, check facebook, or YouGabSports...There are ups and downs in it...Like I said, I'm not a beach person...So I had a couple days where I was stir-crazy, but at the end of the week, I was bummed about leaving...

I'll be posting this in a few different segments...Here's the first...

TRAVEL DAY

We left on Thursday night, and stopped at a hotel in Rochester, NY. The next morning we got up and got on the road...6 hours left...Then it started raining...Every trip we have ever taken to Massachusetts, it's rained...I hate driving in the rain...Night time is worse, but it still sucks...It was 6 hours of hard, sideways, rain...Then of course the kids spent 4 of those hours asking if we were almost there yet? I never thought I'd say this, but for my birthday, I want a Minivan...Get those kids as far back as I can! Two hours in, the driver's side wiper broke...Got a new one at a rest stop...$18 dollars...Just the first screwing of the trip!

Now a public service announcement for the people driving through New York state and Massachusetts...If you are in the left lane, the fast lane, the passing lane...YOU SHOULDN'T BE STEPPING ON YOUR BRAKE PEDAL...DRIVE ASS-HATS!!!

45 minutes left, and we hit a traffic jam...Rain is pouring down...Traffic starts to pick up and this gash in front of me slams on her brakes...I get on mine, but I'm gonna at least tap her...I swerve slightly to the right where there is a gap in traffic, and then back into my lane...The car behind me got on his hard and went left...We both avoided a pile-up and people give us dirty looks and yell at us...I wanted to grab the woman in front of us and throw her in front a of a semi!

We get to my Brother-in-law and sister-in-law's house...We ordered Chinese food, which according to my wife is a tradition...The little Beeze was throwing around his favorite line from "Jaws"...Yes, he's see it, thanks to his mother...He's into Sharks big time right now...About a month ago he woke me up by saying Chief Brody's line right before he kills the shark..."Smile you son of a bitch." He was sharing this with his cousins, and they made sure he shared it with everyone...He was getting plenty of laughs with that, but he took to the next level at dinner...

He counted in Spanish for my brother-in-law, so then my B-I-N said something to him in Spanish...The Little Beeze looked at him, paused long enough to have the whole rooms attention, and said, "KISS MY ASS!" We were all laughing our asses off...It's hard to correct him when he shows that kinda perfect timing...My B-I-L was in a shocked, yet joyous place...The kid just knows how to make you laugh, and he kept us all laughing, except my near saintly, mother-in-law, who got up from the table and left the room...I think she laughed, but she didn't want to show it...

THE NEXT DAY (Saturday)

This day was all about packing up for the Vineyard, loading up on booze and groceries, and spending money...The little Beeze and I showed the rest of the family the "drinking out of cups" video...



...and much of that became a theme for the week...Besides, "Kiss my ass" and "Smile you son of a bitch"...

DAY 1

Sunday we head down to the Cape to catch our Ferry...It was a 8:15 AM boat...Now I tend to have some stomach issues early in the morning, so of course on our way down I had to pull into a MacDonald's and blow some mud...Kids again were asking how long? God help me...We get there about 10 minutes before our boat left...40 minutes on the boat, the stomach calmed down and the kids enjoyed the ride...We got on the Island, and had to kill a couple hours...We don't get the house until noon...Killing time means killing money...The Little Beeze got a fishing game in some store...Then he wanted a copy of the book...Wait for it..."Jaws"...Kid is obsessed...Then we hit a candy/ice cream store...Pure Heaven for kids...Okay, us adults didn't mind much either!

We got to the house, unpacked, loaded up a couple coolers, and hit the beach...Yes, this place comes with a private beach...The kids were loving it...They both had so much fun in the ocean, and so much fun with their cousins...They didn't want to come out of the water...The Little Beeze has never been on a boogie board, but he looked like a pro...He was riding the hell out of that thing!

It was great seeing the kids so happy and having so much fun!

The evening closed with a traditional card game her family plays...Little Beeze asked by his cousin if he ripped a fart...He replied by pointing and saying, "Next time my fart gets stuck, you can rip it out!" Everyone laughed, and just then the glow of the sunset shined right on my mother-in-laws face, reminding us of what sinners we are...

After that it was off to bed...There's plenty more to come...

Later, Beeze

Taking on Hypocrisy and Stupidity

I think we all know, that I spend plenty of time on Facebook...And I think we all know that I like goofy nonsense that comes with it...And we all know, I have no problem with busting balls, and talking shit, and having fun...But there is something that I can't stand...Stupid f**king idiots who don't have a clue about what they are talking about...I like to call them, F**k-stains, because, that's what they should have been...(yes we also know I'm opinionated!)

Recently I saw a couple of friends had joined a page, or just liked it, I don't f**king know, called, "DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN"

Seriously! Here's the LINK

Now, I'm all for questioning government...And I'm all about free speech...That's why I don't like the page that wants to ban this stupid one...That's just as douchey! I have no problem if your political, and/or religious views are different from mine...I have no problem if you voice those views...I mean aren't those freedoms we love to hang our hat on!?!

Now this post isn't being written in defense of President Obama...It's being written in defense of intelligence...My problem with this page is that it shows how dumb and hypocritical people are...Now, I see the joke that they are going for, but it just isn't that good...Why Beeze? I'll tell ya!

In my 12 painful years of Catholic education, never did "Sister Mary Black Sabbath" teach us to pray for some one's death! Never! Nor does it say that it's a good idea in the "Bible." I know...I've read the book, just so I could throw it back in the faces of the Uber-Religious...

You see, many (not all) of these people who want the "Good Lord" to strike down our President consider themselves "Catholic" or Christian"...I find it so inspiring how intolerant, hateful, unkind, prejudice, and narrow minded, people are, who claim to follow a man/deity, who's whole mission was to teach, love, kindness, understanding, peace, and freewill...

I can just hear the voice of a dolt...'I love you Jesus! Could you take out the President for me?'

There are also people on this page whom were the first to call anyone who disagreed with any policy of President Bush's, Treasonous...So it's okay for you to speak out against President Obama...But not okay for anyone to have spoken out against President Bush...God bless America, and God bless double standards!

I'm not saying everyone on this page is a bad person...Like I said, some are friends of mine...If some people think it's just a funny joke...Fine...It's not really that good, but fine...

If some claim to be religious, I suggest you pick up the old "Good Book" and actually read it this time...

If some people just don't like President Obama's politics, that's fine...But just remember...If some one talked about wanting the guy you liked dead, you'd probably be going bat-shit crazy, wanting the Secret Service to investigate them...

I'm sure some people on there are just, stupid, angry f**kers who love to hate...Hey, something has to be on the bottom of the food chain!

In closing...Ron White said, "You can'tfix stupid." he may very well be right...But I'm gonna continue to try.

Before I leave, I need a laugh...And this always does it for me...The Litle Beeze loves this one too...

"Not Once, Not Never!"

Later, The Beeze.