Monday Moaning

I hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day...Mrs. Beeze and I had a good evening...We landed a last minute babysitter, and got some quality adult time...It was great just getting out without the kids...

Then Saturday, I had to get up bright and early...Well, it wasn't bright...I had to get our oldest up and out for her Jazz Honor Band rehearsal...Then I fired up the coffee and relaxed in my chair to enjoy the USA vs. Russia hockey game...If you missed it, you missed a great game...Good goal tending...The U.S. team playing very physical...Non-stop action...3 periods wasn't enough...OT wasn't enough...A 3 round shootout wasn't enough...And each round, of sudden death shootout, coach Dan Bylsma kept sending T.J. Oshie out there...Why not? Oshie was the only American to score in the shootout...In total, he took 6 shootout attempts, and scored on 4...Including this game winner in the 5-hole...

American hockey fans fell in love with Oshie immediately...But he may have won everyone else over with his post-game comments, when he was referred to as a "hero" Oshie said, "The American heroes are wearing camo. That's not me."

This of course gave The Internet the ability to have another way to bash LeBron...

You'll never see me defending LeBron, but shit...It must really suck to be so hated that everyone nit-picks every fucking moment of your idiotic life "King!"

Then some creative guy threw this together...


TJ Oshie, Again-- CrossingBroad.com from Kyle Scott on Vimeo.

The U.S. blew past Slovenia 5-1 Sunday and will head to a bye in the Quarterfinals...Resting until Wednesday along with team USA, is Sweden, Canada, and Finland...If the U.S. and Russia square off again, it will be in the Finals...After the way Saturday's game played out, that could one hell of an exciting game...

The NBA had their All-Star bullshit this weekend...I paid no attention...I found watching skiers and snowboarders wiping out on the snow they described as "mashed potatoes" more enjoyable...

And did you see the Skeleton Slider who went airborne, and some how recovered...He didn't win anything, but he showed the world what a cockstrong mother fucker he is...

I guess what I'm saying in this post is, if you've been blowing off the Olympics, you're missing some good shit...Hell, the skiing events are great if for no other reason, then to show the IOC to never put the Winter Olympics in a place where the average February temp is between 50-60 degrees again...

Now, time for a random observation...

Sunday, I was at Church...I'm not a real churchy guy, but kicking into the offertory gets us a discount on tuition...And it's not a bad way to get an hour calmness in my life...And there is the people watching...I'm not going to act like the pillar of morality, but I found it annoying the number of females who walked into church with the words "Pink" or Love Pink" bedazzled on the ass of their pants...It just seems classless, and kind of poor taste for church...But then I saw the winner...A mother, wearing sweat pants that said "Juicy" across her ass...Really?!!?  If you're wearing juicy across your ass when you walk into "the house of God" then what the hell are you wearing on a Friday night out...A shirt that says "Fuck me here" with an arrow towards your crotch...Maybe the back says "Here too" with another arrow going down!

And before any of you try to ask me why am I checking out asses at church, I'll just tell you...I'm a fucking pig!  And some of the bedazzled glare gets in your eye!

That's it for now...

Have a week...

The Beeze.

The Beeze's Friday Finger Pop (NHL Off Season Madness)

Well, it looks like a couple people are ready for some finger poppin' good times...Here we are, day after the 4th of July...Do you still have all your fingers? I hope every one had fun celebrating the 4th...That said, if your city/town is one of those shit-dick places that did fireworks on July 3rd, or 5th, fuck off...You celebrate on the 4th...Do the firewworks on the 4th...You see this more an more...Just like those asshole places that have their Halloween trick-or-treat on the Saturday before...Fuck you...You trick-or-treat on Halloween! 

You don't ever see anyone or anywhere celebrate New Years on December 29th or January 3rd...Why?  Because there is onlt one fucking New Years, just like there is one Halloween, and one 4th of July...Come on America, lets get our shit together...

Next up in the Finger Pop...NHL teams are all trying to find salary cap space, while holding onto key players, and landing quality and high profile free agents...There is a hot term now in the NHL...The "Compliance Buyout."  This lets teams string out a percentage of a players contract, when waiving him, and it not killing their cap number...

In Philadelphia the Flyers dropped big money, $28 million to buyout the contracts of Ilya Bryzgalov and Daniel Briere...Then what did they do...Get themsleves another big contract on the books, signing 33 year old Vincent Lecavalier to a 5 year, $22.5 million contract....I think 5 years for a 33 year old who has spent a lot of time injured the last couple years is dumb, but good for Vinny...He's going to be sitting pretty making his $4.5 million a year from Philly...But on top of that is his buyout from Tampa Bay, who wanted/needed to get him off the books...From the Lightning he'll get $2.3 million a year for the next 14 seasons...WOW!

And and Flyers fans don't get too excited...Your team still has some holes to fill...Which should be fun to see since Lecavalier's contract just took them $300,000 over the salary cap!

While that buy out mess, and signing made me laugh...And sick...My favorite so far, and I doubt it will be topped is the New York Islanders buying out Goalie Rick DiPietro...Seven years ago GM Garth Snow thought it would be a good idea to give this average goalie a 15 year, $67.5 million contract...Since then DiPietro has either sucked, been injured, or both...Well, the Islanders have decided to finally rid themselves of this douche...To do so, they used the Compliance Buyout...DiPietro will be given $1.5 million annually for the next 16 years....

Yeah, Lecavalier will be earning more, but at least he put together a really good career so far...DiPietro has just blown...And I love that Snow had to finally admit he made a huge mistake...If I was teh owner I'd make him hold a press conference stating that he is sorry, and that he is a fucking idiot....They have to pay a guy $1.5 million a year, for 16 years, to go the fuck away!

How I wouldn't love a job that I could suck at, and the boss just finally breaks down and says, 'You're fucking killing us...Here, I'll pay you $1.5 million a year for, lets say 16 years...All you have to do is go the fuck away!'  

Where the fuck do I sign!?!

Surprisingly, the New York Rangers didn't use the Compliance Buyout on Brad Richards, as many expected...GM Glen Sather says he expects Richards (33 yrs. old) to bounce back...So the Rangers will take the $9 million cap hit this season...Many Rangers fans, myself included, don't like this move, because it is giving the Rangers very little room to hold onto key players, and make any splash in free agency...

The Pittsburgh Pengins signed 26 year old defenseman Kris Letang to an eight year $58 million extension...It's not a horrible signing, but I'm just not a fan of going that long with anyone...But there is another reason this deal is risky...With this extension, the Penguins will have nearly half of their salary cap space locked up in 4 players...Letang, Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and James Neal...Those 4 fuckers better stay healthy and produce or your team is gonna be in trouble...

Then comes the Boston Bruins who were talking to teams during the draft about moving 21 year old and former #2 overall pick, Tyler Seguin...Well, Thursday the Bruins sent Seguin, Rich Peverley, and minor-leaguer Ryan Button to Dallas for Loui Eriksson, Reilly Smith (22), 23 year old Matt Fraser, and Joe Morrow (20), the key piece Dallas got from Pittsburgh when they traded Brenden Morrow...Eriksson(27) gives the Bruins an elite left-handed winger who can play either side, and knows how to shoot...He's posted 70 points in each of the last 3 seasons...He has 3 years left on his $25.5 million, 6 year deal, which will be a smaller cap hit what Seguin would have been...The Bruins added a lot of youth and potential, and a proven player...

They also rid themselves of what they felt could be a major problem...According to "sources around the team," the Bruins had to have a sit down with Seguin during their playoff series with Toronto...They questioned his commitment to the team, and wanted him to start acting like a "Professional"...One report says Seguin showed up to the Air Canada Centre wearing the same close for 3 straight days...The 21 year old has earned quite the rep for partying since his 19 year old rookie season when he helped the Bruins win the Cup...and the rep isn't that good, based on this tweet from the Cask 'N Flagon...

"The Boston nightclub scene will be a better place without #tylerseguin demanding entry.#TradeSeguin"

The Bruins have another pressing issue to get to as well....

The contract extension people are waiting to see done in Boston, is goalie Tuuka Rask...The speculation is saying the 26 year old could be looking at a deal in the area of $56 million over 8 years...Smart moving taking that 1 year deal last season and proving yourself...Rask and the Bruins both gambled in those negotiations, and it looks like Rask won...

Have a good weekend!

The Beeze

The Beeze's Friday Finger Pop

Welcome to another installment of the Friday Finger Pop, where not just two fingers, but two finger popable asses are always better than one!

The first bit of news today, The New York Rangers have signed former Vancouver Canucks coach, Alain Vigneault to be their next head coach...I'm not sure how I feel about this...He's not a bad coach, but I really disliked his teams in Vancouver...They really annoyed me...But he's got to do better having Lundqvist as his goalie, instead of the dead weight Roberto Luongo that kept holding the Canucks back!

Then I saw Mark Messier, Special Assistant to GM Glen Sather was very he, and his no coaching experience, didn't get the job...He has said he's not sure of his future now with the Rangers...Wow, always known as a tough guy in his playing days, and now he's gonna get a sad and hurt, because he didn't get a job that he wasn't qualified for...You know what Mess, go do what all the other coaches did....Earn your fucking stripes!  Being a great player doesn't make you a great...That's a whole new thing you need to learn...

Next up...Thursday night I was at my daughter's softball game...She's on a 12 and under team, in a league for beginning players...Their first couple years in, learning the game...Well, her team lost this game before they even stepped on the field...They saw the other teams pitcher warming up, and they were done for...This girl was throwing it 50 mph...The team was bigger, and you could see they had plenty of experience...Then the game started...when they made an out, the whole team did a little cheer, that ended with them slapping their feet...I was totally annoyed...I don't know if this is part of softball, but it came across as taunting....They did it on outs...They had one for if one of them walked...Got an RBI...everything...It was really cunty...And I wasn't the only adult who felt this way...

But then we saw how their parents behaved, and reacted...Oh, I see...They're shitty little cunts, because their parents and coaches are assholes...Oh, and then from a bit of parental investigating, these little twats, were 13, 14, year olds...Taunting and getting joy out of lying about what they were, and beating up on a league of 10, 11, and 12 year old beginners...Out teams coach intends to get them booted by the end of the weekend, and has already asked for birth certificates for every girl on that team...The parents of these kids, on this team need to be beaten...And the coaches should be hung....Too harsh?  Too bad!

Then there  was the ump....What a douche...His strike zone was from the top of the head to the ankles...My daughter, got hit by a pitch, walked and struck out...Her strike out...two of the pitches, the catcher caught on a hop off the plate...How the fuck is that a strike ass-cunt?!?

I hate getting like this over youth sports, but when there are adults that are willing to be such shitheads, it has to be called out...If I didn't Molly, and Little Beeze there with me, I would have had a lot of shit to say, to a lot of people... DOUCHEBAGS!

Moving on to the "News" media, and the idiot talking heads involved in it...I've never liked Russell Brand...But then this week he was on MSNBC's Morning Joe...Right away he made co-host, Mika Brzezinski uncomfortable...She has always been the show's bitch, but around Brand she flustered...He called them out for sucking at their jobs...He called them out for being rude...And he took over the show, and made them look like fools, and how easy their silly job is...He closed by calling Brzezinski "Shaft Grasper" as she couldn't stop grasping a bottle on the desk...Check out the video...




Seriously, never liked the guy...But that was great!

-The Miami Heat won the NBA Championship...Don't worry, Cleveland is still standing...Yes, many people here still hate LeBron James, but whatever...It's the NBA...This is Cleveland in June...The Indians are playing well, and most of sports talk is yapping about how bad the Browns will be, and if the new owner is going to end up in jail!

 Basketball sucks ass!  Watch the rest of the Chicago and Boston  Stanley Cup Final...Series is tied at 2 and these two teams are putting on a hell of a series...They love playing OT games!

Have a good weekend, and keep on poppin'!

And 3 is better then 2...

The Beeze

The Beeze's Friday Finger Pop

After a long time away, the Friday Finger Pop is back...A little bit of this, and a bit of that...and a little bit of sweet asses, perfect for finger popping!

 First off, the New York Rangers finally showed some signs of life Thursday night against the Boston Bruins...The Rangers pulled out a 4-3 OT victory on a goal from Chris Kreider, off of a great feed from Rick Nash...I've been begging for Torts to play Kreider more...The kid is a play-maker and a goal scorer, on a team that doesn't score much...He's got great speed, and slick hands...When he gets ice time, he makes things happen...

That said, While I'm a die hard Rangers fan, I have trouble seeing them winning three more straight against the Bruins....Boston has 4 solid lines...Plenty of depth...Including on the Blue line, as proven by rookie D-man Torey Krug, who has been amazing to watch in this series...

Mmmmmm, that looks finger poppin' good!

I saw a little bit of ESPN's Outside The Lines Thursday afternoon...They had a bunch of talking heads, all up in arms because Robert Griffin III's father, Robert Griffin II said he wants to see his son run less...Why would anyone be shocked by this?  1. Don't all dads want to see their sons stand in the pocket and throw bombs!?!   2. He saw his son get a concussion, and get his knee wrecked twice in his rookie season...Who the fuck wouldn't want their son run less?   You'd want to see your kid have a nice long career instead of getting crippled within 3...

Somehow these jokers were appalled that a father would stick his nose into this serious football discussion...How dare he have an opinion...Only ESPN gasbags are allowed to have those!  I'd be willing to bet this snippet came out, because some asshole reporter asked Mr. Griffin if he'd like to see his son run the ball less....And then let the media frenzy begin!  Crap like this is just ridiculous...

Oh yeah, that's pop worthy!

I spent a couple hours Thursday pitching to my baseball team...Little Beeze is swinging the bat great...Seriously, he's looking like one of my top 6 hitters...I have 3 girls who are swinging the bat really well...two are  lefties...The one has this leg kick that she starts as soon as my motion starts...It threw me off at first, but it works for her...She was cranking it...I made a number of self defensive stops...Then I have a boy who loves hitting...And he swings with aggression...He looks to kill everything....His foul balls scare people...And when he makes solid contact it's oer you or through you...Even the kids that struggled at first, took all the tips and started finding their groove...We're going to have a good line-up...Saturday morning we'll be practicing again, and that one is going to 90% fielding...I'm looking forward to that...So is my arm...

A while back I wrote THIS about sexual abuse within USA Swimming...Justice has been slow in these cases, but a small amount was served THURSDAY...Rick Curl's sentencing is hopefully just the beginning, as now even more questions are being raised...

Does it seem wrong to post another pop-tastic ass at this point...Maybe...But, what the hell!

Have a good weekend gang!

The Beeze.

The Beeze's Hump Day Survey

Yeah, Back by popular demand, I've decided to dust off the weekly classic...Sports, pop-culture, maybe a rant mixed in, and of course, some lovely ladies to close it out...Let's get started...

1. Which Eastern Conference team wins and heads to The Stanley Cup Finals...New York Rangers? Or New Jersey Devils?


2. Which Western Conference team wins and goes to The Stanley Cup Finals...LA Kings? Or Phoenix Coyotes?


3. Our favorite comic announced he's going to have small role in that new Lifetime show staring Jennifer Love Hewitt...



A. Have you ever watched it?

B. Now that you know it's about Jennifer Love Hewitt jerking guys off, will you watch?

C. Will Bill Burr steal the scene?


4. Ohio State football player Andrew Sweat was offered and undrafted, free-agent deal from the Cleveland Browns...Sweat decided, based on his own history of concussion symptoms, and all that has gone on with head injuries in the NFL, that he would pass on the NFL and head to Law School...He's actually been ripped by dolts in the media for following in his father's footsteps instead of taking a crack at the NFL...

Did he make the right call?


.....Fuck You! I don't give a shit what you think, and neither should Sweat...Holy fucking shit, they kid may be the smartest mother fucker Ohio State has ever produced...Who the fuck is anyone to say he should have taken a shot at the NFL...He wasn't even drafted, and already has a history of head injuries...If the kid thinks the best thing for him is going to law school, then good for him...Anyone talking shit about that should choke on a big fat dick and die!


And now for the most important question...

5. On this fine Hump Day...Which one of these asses would you most like to pound your pud into?


A.




B.




C.




Audience participation only makes this post better...Nothing like people arguing over which hottie they could never get, but damn it she's the one they'd do!

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Friday Finger Pop

Happy Friday folks...

I'm having issues to day...Blogger keeps crashing...Then my IE drops out...posting this has been a pain in the ass since last night...

First, The punch felt all through Hockey...



Rick DiPietro has been the most overrated goalie in Hockey for years...And then that asshole GM Garth Snow gave him a 15 year deal...He sucks! So he decides to take a shot at Matt Cooke...Okay, Cooke is a douche...But then he squares off with Johnson...One punch and he crumpled...What a twat! Could the Islanders give Billy Smith a call and see if he could show this ass-hat how to fight like a man...Or at least dirty! Smith was good at that too...

In Baseball Andy Pettitte is going to retire...People are trying to make a big deal out of this, but you know what...I don't fucking care...Fuck him...He's a fucking steroid using cheater, and just because he admitted to it, after his name was leaked, and apologized, doesn't change the fact that he did it...He's a fucking cheater! Just because you apologized doesn't mean you and your numbers aren't tarnished...I'm so sick of the Baseball world, and Baseball writers and talking heads, quickly forgiving and forgetting what these guys did...They made us believe the numbers are so important, so hold the cheaters to that...Pettite is crap...Fuck him!

Then there has been all this crazy shit in Egypt...I have to admit, I have enjoyed watching this shit...Including seeing Anderson Cooper getting punched upside the head! I don't have an official stance, because depending on my mood, my first thought about anything going on in the Middle East is often, 'Fuck them!' Let the whole damn region burn...But I know that is narrow minded...So I'll just hold back for now...

Now to jump into some more political waters that gets some people stirred up...Iowa's politicians apparently are anti-gay marriage, and anti-gay parenting...Well I'm anti-dummy...I'm all for gay people who want to get married...(No I'm not going to throw that old joke out there either)...And I don't think two gay people will screw up raising kids any worse than the countless piece of crap straight parents we see every day, who are just horrible fucking people...But here is a guy named Zach Wahls who spoke on the subject much more eloquently then I ever could...




Now to the best part of Friday...Some sweet finger popping asses...

Have a good weekend...Go Packers!

Later, The Beeze.

The Hump Day Hits

I'm posting this later then I wanted to, but that's the breaks...It's still Hump Day for a few more minutes, so here we go...

I've always been a huge stand up comedy fan...There has been talk for years that Carlos Mencia is a joke thief...Besides the fact that he is playing a character on stage...He's not really the Mexican he says he is...But Larry Cable Guy isn't really a cable guy either...There are countless examples on YouTube of Mencia stealing jokes...Then I saw a documentary called "I Am Comic"...In it Mencia admits to stealing jokes...If he was trying to be sarcastic, it didn't work, because his haters believed every word of it...

How about this example of him ripping a classic Cosby bit....

Here he is ripping off the late Sam Kinison...

And now a bit from Mind of Mencia, that is clearly ripped from the late, and great George Carlin...


Mencia should be beaten within an inch of his life...And I'm not joking...He's a piece of shit, and since he admitted it, in front of a camera, he will most likely be getting sued...

Now in Hockey news...The Chicago Blackhawks have started dumping some salary...They have to do it, but Blackhawks fans can't be happy about the first name they're seeing moved...Dustin Byfuglien, along with Brent Sopel, Ben Eager and Akim Aliu are headed to Atlanta for for the Marty Reasoner, Jeremy Morin, the 24th and 54th overall picks in this years Draft...They're gonna miss Buff!

Now before I go...On this Hump Day evening...Or when ever you read this...Which of these fine asses would you most like to hump?

a.

b.

c.

Let me know what you think...

Later, The Beeze.