Monday Moaning

                                                   Anyone else hungry right now?

Well, Spring has sprung...It reached over 60 degrees in the Cleve Sunday...The Indians home opener is set to kick off...So, based on past history, it will either rain, snow, have heavy fog, or the city will fall into Lake Erie...But no matter what, Clevelanders will be out in full force, getting shit-faced, and many will have no idea what happens in the game...Because let's be honest...Opening day is just fake holiday type of thing...Like Valentine's day!  But it gives people a reason to take an extra day off and pound beers..."America, FUCK YEAH!"

I took my extra day off Friday...The wife and I had some things to take care of in the morning, and it was nice to have an extra day with the kids while they were on Spring Break...Minutes after I got home from work Thursday, the UPS man showed up with 3 large boxes...When I ordered bunk beds for my daughters, I didn't expect them to show up in this many pieces...

I got them about 97% done in about 2 hours...Then I took a long break...Friday afternoon I finished them up....

Then we just had to wait for the mattress for the bottom bunk to show...It showed up at 7:00AM Saturday morning...I wasn't pleased about that timing...But Molly and her big sis love their bunk beds...

We spent plenty of time hitting a few parks this weekend, with the touch of Spring we had...We also stopped for a bite to eat, where Molly hammed it up for the camera, and people around us...

The wife took the older two to see Jurassic Park on the big screen, while Molls and I watched baseball and napped...The new bed is comfy...

-So far I have found myself getting into the baseball season much easier then normal...Maybe it's the fantasy teams that have me watching closely...I've been battling my impatience with guys starting slow...and the occasional guy starting well, who is going to tank in a month...I've been all over the waiver wire, looking for the next great break out player...And seriously, Chris Davis, calm down and save some for July...Holy fucking hot start batman! Dude is making a bunch of us look stupid!

The Indians will enter their home opener at .500...They have 4 with the Yankees, 3 with the White Sox, and 3 with the Red Sox on the home stand...They better take advantage of the Yankees...The Tribe has already shown a Jekyll and Hyde side...The Rays 4 and 5 starters shut them down in back to back games, then Sunday the Tribe shredded Cy Young winner David Price...Hey, if this sorry team can go .500 all year, that's a step in the right direction...Oh, and while it's early...That off season trade, sending Choo to Cincy, and bringing the Indians Stubbs and Bauer, looks fucking awful...Stubbs blows...I don't care how much speed the guy has...It doesn't matter if he can't get on base...And Bauer, looked like the head case his ex-teammates described him as...

-Last week we saw the NHL trade deadline lead to a frenzy of activity...Like the Penguins getting Brendan Morrow and Jerome Iginla...Morrow has looked horrible and lost...Shocking for such a heady, steady player...Iginla said he wanted to do what was best for Calgary...SO he said no to an offer from Boston, that would have been better fro the Flames, then the deal Pittsburgh made...Why should we be surprised?  He hasn't looked that great out there...

So Boston settled for old man Jagr...I was shocked they didn't go after some one who was more then a rent-a-player...So far he has been okay with the Bruins, but the guy is old, and can't put up the minutes...

The Minnesota Wild landed one of the top guys out there, in Jason Pomminville...This guy plays bot ways...Has great hands...A great shot...Good speed...Total game...The Wild can smell a run, and they struck...They gave up their goalie of the future in Matt Hackett and another top prospect Johan Larsson...Buffalo getting Hackett may be a sign of things to come for Ryan Miller...He's been the face of the team, and he's a top tier goalie, but they are a small market team trying to catch lighting in a bottle with a young, deep team that won't send them to bankruptcy again...

The trade that shocked many was the New York Rangers dumping sniper, Marian Gaborik...Not so much that they moved Gabby...That writing was on the wall...He's gotten lazy many times in his career...And if you don't play by coach John Tortorella's rules, you're gonna be gone...The shock was that the Columbus Blue Jackets, who have quietly crawled into the playoff hunt, made the deal for Gaborik...They gave the Rangers Derrick Brassard, who in his first game at MSG had a goal and 3 assists...They also got Young defenseman John Moore who was a top prospect for the Jackets...He had a goal in his Ranger debut...They also got Derek Dorsett who is injured, but adds some grit, and balls the Rangers have missed...

Based off of the youth and talent of Moore, and Brassard, I see this as a win for the Rangers...But for Jackets fans, who saw the team trade their star Rick Nash to the Rangers last year for not much, this had to be nice to see...The team fighting for the playoffs, and they trade some youth for a proven 40 goal scorer...If nothing else, it shows Columbus fans the team really is heading in a new direction...

The Rangers also added size, strength, grit, and talent, when they traded some draft picks to San Jose for Ryane Clowe...As far as the score sheet, Clowe has been awful...But he does all the little things too...And that makes him perfect for Torts...And he fit right into the Rangers system...In is first game with the Rangers he had 2 goals and an assist...His first two goals of the season...Saturday he added another assist, and is seeing more ice time...The change of scenery is paying off...

I was pissed about the NHL lockout/strike, but to be honest, I've really liked this shortened season...It has actually made the regular season count for something....The games seem more intense...The NHL doesn't want to talk about cutting down the season, but it may be something they should look at...

-Before I go...Why not close with a classic tune from my youth...Perfect for the Indians home opener!

Catch the fever!

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

   No, my weekend wasn't this good...Sunday started with me hungover, and three kids, (ages 11, 8, and 2) being loud as fuck...My goal was to sleep until 11:00AM, a rare thing in this house...I made it to 9:30AM...As soon as I showed up in the living room, crabby that my kids were so loud, my wife bolted to the grocery store...After she got back, it was a mad scramble to get everyone ready to go to our friends daughter at Build-A-Bear...One of those special Hell on Earth places...Kids, chaos, and money being spent...Luckily it wasn't mine money being spent...I put my foot down that the kids weren't getting any extras...Unfortunately, our friends dropped a helluva buck for all these bears being built...

Our oldest took home a bear with a girl outfit...Well put together...She likes to shop...The Little Beeze came home with a Camouflaged bear wearing his full military digs...Molly got a Girl Scout bear with the uniform and all...They had fun, that's what it's all about...right?

Saturday night we went to a benefit for a guy I went to high school with...He's a firefighter, so automatically he's getting a certain level of respect...He had an accident, and suffered a serious brain injury...He's rehabbing, and getting better...He showed up briefly, and thanked his family and friends and the nearly 1000 people there...I caught up with some guys from high school, saw some other people I hadn't seen in awhile...Had a couple of those conversations that eventually get awkward because it's been so long...Oh, and I drank beers...

After that the wife and I stopped at the old Fish House...We were going to have some dessert, but they set us up with a bunch of apps, so I had a couple more beers...Then we had dessert...Then I wanted to pass out...But of course, when we got home, 2 out of the 3 kids were still up...The oldest and youngest...Some how I got stuck getting Molly down...Me and her crashed on the couch watching the x-games...She loves the skiing and snowboarding....Especially when they wipe out...That's my girl!

The worst part about getting a night out...having to clean the house like crazy, so your sitter doesn't think you're total pieces of shit...Luckily, when I threw on some music to get started with the cleaning, Molly put on a little show, that made things a little easier...




Now some of you may be asking, where's the sports?  Well I've written enough about Manti Te'o....I've beaten that fake, dead girlfriend enough.....What, did you expect a recap of the Pro Bowl?  Who watches that?  Nobody I know...If you watch the Pro Bowl, the worst version of the NFL...1. you don't need a recap of that boring shit...2. Slap yourself!

I have been slowly getting into the NHL...Seeing Rick Nash skating with Marian Gaborik and Brad Richards for the Rangers is a dream come true...

 

Seeing this line lighting the lamp has been great...

These three guys are clicking really well, and while their names and salaries mean they should be doing what they are, caring the offense...It wouldn't be a bad idea to put Richards on the second line and put Stepan between the two play-makers...Richards may be able to get the second line going...That's just me doing some armchair coaching...

 Now, let's talk "Super Bowl"...As many of you have seen, I've had no problem tooting my own horn for correctly predicted the "Super Bowl" matchup at the beginning of the year...Well lets see just how good I am...Here comes my prediction...As much as the conspiracy theorist in me wants to say the Ravens will win, because it's fixed for the NFL and the media's love affair with that asshole Ray Lewis...I can't...Because when I look at everything, the 49ers just look like a better team...So I'm calling it...San Fransico wins...What, you want a score?  San Fran 34 - Baltimore 27...

But the real question my wife wants to know...Who will have the best commercial...I know this...No one will beat this commercial that was made for the "Super Bowl" but got banned...





Have a week...

The Beeze.

The Beeze's Friday Finger Pop

The end of the week is here, and it's time for some finger popping!

First I have to start with Bill Burr...I wanted to get this in earlier in the week, but oh well...Burr is a huge sports fan, and loyal to his Boston roots...Last week on The Opie & Anthony Show Bill talked about how he hated how important the Pats/Jets game was to him...Saying, "I really need this one." Well on his Monday Morning Podcast he dealt with the loss, in typical Bill Burr fashion...



Next, I said I was going to start getting into Hockey more, now that Football season is just about done...Wednesday night helped that out greatly, as I sat down to watch my beloved New York Rangers take on the Toronto Maple Leafs...Holy shit! The Leafs are a disgrace...I have said Toronto GM Brian Burke is the most overrated piece of shit in Hockey for years now, and the way he's had the Leafs going is just helping to prove that point...Keep on trading draft picks and young talent for average players Burke, it's doing wonders for ya!

If you didn't know, the Rangers rolled the Leafs 7-0, lead by 4 goals and a an assist from Marian Gaborik...


The NHL likes to think of Toronto as one it's key markets...I have no idea why...The team has been in shambles for some time now...They would have been better off sending their AHL affiliate out there...At least they wouldn't have given up...Yes I said it...I watched an entire NHL team give up halfway through a game...Well except Colton Orr, he kept trying to get into fights and running people, but it did no good...

The fan-base in Toronto has got to take a stand...Tell Burke to get a goalie, and stop trading away talented young ones...Actually fuck Burke...Tell ownership to get that hack out of there...Hell give me a few months, to get in shape and I'll get between the pipes for your non-scoring, sorry ass team...

Next there's the Cleveland Browns...It just broke that the Browns will be hiring Dick Jauron to be their Defensive Coordinator...This had been the rumor since Pat Shurmur was hired to be the Head Coach, but it sure has taken some time...What is also taking some time, and probably will continue to, is hiring a Offensive Coordinator...Why? I'm sure it has something to do with Shurmur, a first time Head Coach, who had only been an OC for 2 years, saying he plans to call his own plays...Well why the fuck would anyone want the OC job...This asshole who is younger than you, coached less than you, is now your boss...Oh, and he wants to do your job too...

People here in the Cleve keep saying we have to trust team president Mike Holmgren...Why? What the hell has he done? He won 1 "Super Bowl" as coach in Green Bay...He had a number of good years as a coach, but he was pretty average...So why do I need to trust in his fat, walrus looking ass? Tell Me! You can't, can you?

In other news...Hollywood hottie, Anne Hathaway is slated to play Catwoman in the next Batman movie...I like the choice!




And now, onto the finger licking good, finger poppin' ladies!










Enjoy the weekend...

Later, The Beeze.

Marian Gaborik vs Daniel Carcillo?

That just doesn't sound right....

But it happened tonight...I'm a loyal Rangers fan...My father, a loyal Flyers fan...I always make it a point to watch Rangers vs Flyers..."Kids, go to bed...You shouldn't see your father like this!"

I'm not one of those softies that thinks fighting should go away in hockey...I'm all for it...But there are certain guys who fight...And certain guys who don't...Tonight Gaborik had just his second fight of his career...And honestly it wasn't really a fight...It was just Carcillo punching Gaborik repeatedly, until he fell to the ice...

Gaborik, a sniper...Carcillo, a guy who wouldn't be in the NHL if he could fight the way he does...Nothing wrong with being that guy Carcillo...Love most guys like that...But Not Carcillo...Not when you pull a bitch move like he did tonight...He grabbed Gaborik from behind, got in front of him...The jostled...Gaborik tried to push him off...They dropped the gloves and Carcillo started pounding...A couldn't believe Gaborik actually got his gloves off before hitting the ice...



After the players were in the penalty box...Dubinsky from the Rangers let Carcillo know what he thought of him...The whole thing started when Dubinsky was scuffling with a couple Flyers after the play...If you can read lips...Dubinsky told Carcillo he was a, "F**king P*ssy!"

Rangers coach John Tortorella said about the same thing to the Flyers bench...

If I was out there...The next shift Daniel Briere was out there for...I would him grabbed him and pounded the shit out of him...You see, Briere plays a similar game to Gaborik...Then my next shift...Either Jeff Carter, or Mike Richards is getting it...Sorry, but you go after my top scorer, I'm taking a couple of yours...

The Rangesr played tough, in their 2-0 loss...But not tough enough...Like I said, I'm all for fighting...But a thumper jumping a guy like Gaborik is a bitch move...And the Blue shirts needed to get some revenge...But I don't think they did...Sean Avery did drop the gloves with Carcillo...Say what you want about Avery...But he's a team player...



I like Torts, but there are times I wonder why I'm not coaching this team...

Later, The Beeze.

Passing Out Some More Skull F**ks!

This is a special edition of the Beeze's Skull F**ks...With the exception of one...All those getting blasted in the face tonight are General Managers of sports franchises...
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First up is Neal Huntington of the Pittsburgh Pirates...

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He's the douche on the right...First a few weeks ago he traded young, rising, Pirate star, outfielder, Nate McLouth for a few prospects...Now I've heard these prospects have great potential...But that's all it is...Potential...McLouth had the makings of a franchise player...But the Pirates like to play it cheap...

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Then yesterday the traded Nyjer Morgan...Morgan has become a fan favorite and is another exciting, talented, player the Pirates could have been a core player on a young team...But no such luck...In return Pittsburgh got the most overrated, over hyped prospect baseball has...Lastings Milledge...Milledge has been talked about for a few years now but can't stay healthy and can't stay with a team...Also involved in the deal...The Pirates sent pitcher Sean Burnett to Washington and got Joel Hanrahan in return...

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Hanrahan's record is 0-3 with a 7.71 ERA in 34 games -- he has been demoted from the closer's job...In 115 career games he has a 5.30 ERA...

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Burnett, who was Pittsburgh's top pick in 2000...Has a 1-2 with a 3.06 ERA in 38 games...

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You know why he's got that eye patch? 'Cause the Beeze just went balls deep in him!

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Next is my favorite...Indians GM Mark Shapiro...

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In case you missed Monday Moaning...I'm not happy with the sh!t trade he made this weekend with the Cardinals...Sending Mark DeRosa there for (P) Chris Perez and a player to be named later...Perez in his first outing went .2 innings and gave up 4 runs...Douche bag! Shapiro said there was lots of interest in DeRosa and he got the best value there was...Really?

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Well, you're about to get a hell of a value right up in your face Mark...And while I'm at it...I'll hit that piece of crap Eric Wedge standing next to you...He must give great head...Because any other team would have sh!t canned him by now...

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Now onto Glen Sather....

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The New York Rangers GM made some moves the last couple days...I like the trade of Scott Gomez and getting Chris Higgins in return...Getting rid of Gomez's salary was great...Overrated b!tch...But then he let Colton Orr slip away and sign with the Maple Leafs...What did he do to get some muscle back...He signed first class douche, cheap shot, f**king a$$hole Donald Brashear...I can't root for this guy...I don't know how any Rangers fan could...I'm hoping he is injured in traing camp and done...For good...

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Then with the extra money lying around....He signed Marian Gaborik...The reports are saying 5 years...7.5 million a year...Wow! I say Wow because, while Gaborik is an amazingly talented player...He has also never had a year without injuries...And from everything he has said Gaborik is the only high profile guy they were targeting...Not a trade for Heatley...Not Hossa, who it looks like will sign with Chicago...

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As a Rangers fan, the Brashear move makes me angry...The Gaborik move makes me worry...5 years and lots of money tied up in a guy who can't stay healthy...So tonight Sather is getting a load from the Beeze.

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And lastly tonight...People who smoke, but never have any cigarettes or a lighter...

I'm not a smoker...In my youth I was...But I realized it wasn't gonna help my asthma or my hockey game...And I also realized why should I pay for cancer...But anyway...I work in a place I lovingly refer to as "The Fish House"...There seem to be a lot of smokers in the restaurant business..

That's fine...It's up to them...But I couldn't stand this when I smoked, and it still bugs the sh!t out of me today...If you want to smoke...Buy a pack d!ck head...If you smoke...Why the f**k don't you have a lighter...It's always the same douche bags...Some of the f**k stains ask me for a light, even though they know I don't smoke...If you want to partake in this habit...Stop being a lazy, cheap bastard and buy your own smokes and lighter...You existence is enough of a burden on the world...Don't pester us to help you get cancer...Choke on some of this!

That's it for tonight...

Later, The Beeze.