Crybaby Talentless C*nt

Yeah, I'm talking about you Jamie Kennedy!

Last night I found myself watching a movie Jamie Kennedy made, called "Heckler"...I was thinking, holy crap, maybe he actually made something good...I had gotten the impression that it would have to do with comedians dealing with hecklers...Hecklers suck, and are assholes...Kennedy also likes to refer to himself as a comedian...HE'S NOT! Well at least not a good one...

Sadly, this movie didn't really get into that enough I thought...That part was actually really good...This movie was more about Jamie Kennedy being a little crybaby bitch because critics shit all over his movies...The main movie he kept bringing up was, "Son of the Mask"...Dude, guess what...The critics were right...The movie sucked!

Kennedy would sit down some critics and read them what they wrote about him, and his shit movie...Then ask stupid shit like, "Why do you hate me?" or "Why do you have to be so mean?" Grow up Nancy!

First, Jamie Kennedy...Most of the movies I've seen you in suck..."Scream" was good...You're not a good comedian...You're not a good rapper...You're not a good actor...You are a crybaby talentless c*nt!

Now some of you may think I'm being harsh...Well, the movie got better...Throughout Kennedy had numerous actors, writers, directors, comedians, and athletes interviewed...Apparently all these celebritards feelings get hurt when a critic, or even a fan knocks their work...They made it clear that we shouldn't have an opinion...This is the part that got me really pissed...Kennedy asks, "Does everyone have a f**king opinion?" Yes you dumb c*nt! That's one of those special things that makes us human beings...The ability to form an opinion...And if we are spending our money and time on the product you produce...Yes, we get to have an opinion you F*cking C*nt!

This is where these over sensitive ass hats started taking shots at the Internet, and bloggers...Mind you most of them have their own web sites, with blogs, and twitter accounts, and whatever else...But they're allowed to...They're famous...But not us little people...Know what I say to that...Go f**k yourselves, you bunch of c*nts!

These celebritards feel that nobody should have an opinion except them...Okay, if you write or say something good about them, it's okay...But nothing bad, or mean...Then you should lose your right to have an opinion...Listen f**k stains...You decided to do what you do for a living...If you can't take all that comes with being famous...Please do us a favor and give yourself a Kurt Cobain hair cut!

Thank God for the Internet...Now I can get a movie review from more then just that stupid guy with the big moustache...I can get many! I can go on YouTube and watch some of your stand-up and decide whether or not to drop $30 dollars to see your sorry ass at the Improv...Are there sites out there that specialize in hate? Hell yes! Sex sells, and hate sells...But what really makes the Internet and blogging great...We all can have a voice...Not just douche bags like Kennedy, but all of us...

I'm living Ronald Reagan's American Dream...A wife, two kids, a mortgage, two car payments, and a shitty job that doesn't pay enough...Just a regular blue collar guy...But thanks to the Internet, my thoughts, and opinions, and whatever other nonsense is in my head can be shared with the world...And it doesn't matter what Jamie Kennedy and his merry band of crybabies think...It doesn't matter if one person reads this, or one million...But all who read it will know I think Jamie Kennedy is a crybaby talentless C*nt...And that's good enough for me!

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

As I start this post, I'm finishing off my 3rd pot of coffee for the day...Not so much hungover today...More like, really f**kin' tired...I did knock back a number of beers Saturday night...The Mrs. Myself and friends of ours went to the Fish House's sister restaurant...The Steak House...I started with Great Lakes Dortmunder...followed by more! We had a nice App Platter...Then I had the 20 oz. Cowboy Steak...It was awesome...After talking about 2 Girls 1 Cup, I decided I wanted the Chocolate Mousse for dessert!

Even better then the Mousse was ripping on the dolt at the table next to us...This dip-shit couldn't put Blackberry down...F**k-tard had to keep tweeting about his evening...

'she's stuffing a lobster hush puppy in her mouth. I'm hard'

'this chunk of lettuce with 1000 island is great!'

'new record. 30 minutes in and she hasn't left'

' I hope she goes ass to mouth'

'no surprise here. not getting any again'

What a dolt! He had all the markings of a douche-bag...The only thing missing was the word, douche-bag tattooed across his forehead...

We had a great time...Our friends had left their 2 year old at our house with our sitter...Based on the drinking and the distance of their drive, we kept her for the night...So 6:00 AM rolls around, and I wake up to the sound of a little 2 year old girl having a conversation with herself...By 6:30 she was calling for some one to get her...I went in and she asked where the little Beeze was...He was in the bed next to her and popped right up...The two of them were non-stop for few hours there! And I've been running coffee and the hope of getting lucky tonight...Well, it's just you and me coffee!

Let's get on with some sports...If the NCAA Basketball brackets getting screwed up wasn't bad enough...This week the NCAA Hockey Tournament started Friday and well, that has been just as crazy...The tourney opened with RIT beating top seeded Denver 2-1...RIT? RIT? Rochester Institute of Technology...That's right people...Other winners Friday...Wisconsin beat Vermont 3-2...St. Cloud State topped Northern Michigan in double OT 4-3...And New Hampshire took down Cornell 6-2...

Saturday Boston College beat Alaska 3-1...Wisconsin topped St. Cloud 5-3...Then the upset kids RIT rolled New Hampshire 6-2...Michigan handled Bemidji State 5-1...Miami took out Alabama-Huntsville 2-1...And Yale beat North Dakota 3-2...

Before Sundays games I yelling at my prediction like this guy yells at cats!



Worst part is, I've yelled at the boy like that!

So Sunday...BC topped Yale in a score-fest, 9-7...Michigan just lost to Miami 3-2 in double OT...Miami goalie Connor Knapp was standing on his head...55 Saves! Great game!

On next to the NHL...I find it a little disturbing that the league is having trouble putting a rule in place that would do away with blind-side head shots...Yet, just a couple years ago, they were able to get the "Avery Rule" in place within a day after his super douche move...
http://theseanaveryrule.com/

But us Hockey fans shouldn't be surprised by Gary Bettman and gang dragging their feet...Don't get me wrong...I love the violence of hockey...I'm not saying get rid of the hitting...A good, clean open ice hip check is poetry in motion...That's all good...Don't get rid of the fighting...People want to say it's bad for the game, but every night there's a fight, the building goes crazy...But the blind-side head shots have to stop...

Sunday night we had our YouGabSports Fantasy Baseball draft...Some how I had the first pick...I was feeling a bit caught off guard...And after a minute or two I picked Tim Lincecum...I'm questioning that pick a bit, but what the hell...The kid is a beast...I followed him up wit Victor Martinez, and my 3rd pick was Cliff Lee...I fell a bit week in the outfield, but I do have some speed there with Denard Span, Andrew McCutchen, and Scot Podsednik...I also have Ryan Ludwick and Mark Teahen out there...Teahen qualifies ath 1st and 3rd also...Hopefully I won't be out of it by June!

Now I often close with a tale about the Little Beeze...This one will be different...The kid was great this weekend...Well behaved, listened well, and didn't cover the walls with shit...We went to a "Lent Sucks" party Friday...He was great with the other kids there...Great with the adults, most he didn't know...It was a late night for him, so I was worried...We got there about 7:30 PM, and didn't leave until almost 10:00PM...he's normally in bed by 8:30...For the first time he wasn't "That Kid" the one that makes a scene...So this is what a proud father feels like!

Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Examining the Term Cocksucker

(Shut up, it's cute and funny!)

Last night I got a little serious, writing my thoughts on politics these days...I follow politics closely, but try not to write about it very often, because some people can't handle it, and lose their minds...And honestly, I've gotten pissed arguing politics before...So this evening I'm going to lighten things up a bit...Although I think this topic is pretty important...

1. Cocksucker: "a person who performs fellatio"

2. Cocksucker: "insulting term of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous"

The Urban Dictionary says...

1. Cocksucker: "Some one who sucks a man's penis." ...Not enough of those around!

2. Cocksucker: "A very stupid Person" ...Plenty of those around!

It also says..."General all-purpose all-american insult used to describe anyone except the person who actually sucks your cock."

Why the hell do we do this!?! We always insult one another by calling each other a cocksucker...When honestly cocksuckers should be praised...They are providing a wonderful service...I know this, I have never once called my wife a cocksucker...Or any woman I've been involved with...Yet we love nothing more then to have them sucking on our cock and taking a nice, fat, hot, load across their glasses...Yeah, I got a thing for blasting on glasses!

But honestly, there are few things in this world better then a blow job...But for some reason we have turned a beautiful term like cocksucker into a insulting slur...

It's time to make a change...I'm going to try and stop unjustly calling people cocksuckers...And those who are cocksuckers...I will praise you...If you see a boner smoker as you're walking down the street, say, 'Hey, thanks for doin' what you do...And keep it up!'

With that said, I'm gonna head upstairs and see if I can get my cock sucked!

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze Getting Political

I often avoid writing about politics because people get so heated over the topic and things can spin out of control...I started commenting on a post at http://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2010/03/24/on-a-what-if-election/ and it turned into a blog post all of it's own...

I consider myself an Independent...I would say I lean to left a bit more, but you can find me on the right in many situations...I think many Americans would consider themselves as being some where in the middle...The biggest reason for this in my opinion is, both parties have let us down...Whether in the White House or Congress...Or even our local city councils...

I vote for President Obama for 3 reasons...1. I agreed with him on more issues then I did with Senator McCain (who I was a big fan of back in 2000 before he stopped be a "maverick" and fell in line with the right on every issue)...2. In my research I found out McCain voted against every bill that would increase benefits for veterans throughout his career...That made me sick! 3. Sarah Palin...I honestly think it would have been a closer race if she wasn't on the ticket...And I won't lie...I kinda liked the "Change" train...Sadly I think the only thing that can make real change, is a true 3rd party that doesn't lean way left or way right...

That all said, I hadn't been happy with the job the President had done so far...But I was given some hope when he went and talked with 140 Republicans a few months ago...The olive branch was extended, and he even took some shots at his own party...He could have fired a few more harder shots at them...

I can't put all the blame on him...The tactics used to get the Health Care bill have been the same tactics that have been used for ever in DC...Something he said he wanted to change...The Republicans not budging on anything is as childish as it gets...My 5 year old pain in the ass son doesn't say NO that much...There are many of their ideas that were put in the bill...He has given in at times, and they say not enough...But When President Bush was in office, they did whatever he wanted, even if they disagreed...Just as Many Democrats over the years have done what they were told to do, instead of doing what is in the best interest of their constituents...Both parties are guilty of this sin...They care more about the money being put in their pockets by corporations, then doing their job...Which is to represent the people...

Does anyone remember, "Of the people, by the people, for the people?" DC doesn't!

Am I spinning out of control yet?

The first Bailouts came under President Bush...The Republicans weren't screaming about that...But they were when the Democrats pushed through more bailouts...For the record, I was against the bailouts both times...Isn't it part of capitalism, that if you screw up and your company goes in the tank, TOUGH SHIT! If the Fish House goes under, the douches in DC aren't gonna write us a check...We don't have lobbyists paying them off!

The deficit was at $5 trillion when President Bush took office...It was at $11.2 trillion when he left...But Republicans want to blame President Obama...And say he's increasing our debt and taxes at an insane rate...Truth be told, federal taxes have not gone up on 98% of the "working class" Americans...Which makes the anti-taxes Tea Party sound a bit like dolts...If your taxes went up, blame your state and city officials...They're bastards too!

The media doesn't help...Most of the people on MSNBC just suckle the left's nuts...Rachel Maddow is the only one fact checking both sites, and willing to engage in debate with anyone, on any side...FOX News loves to swing on the rights nuts...I do like Hannity, because he to likes to debate the issues with whoever...CNN tries to play down the middle, but thy slip up, and often are more like tabloid news...The nightly news on any of the networks has become lacking as well...This all makes things worse, because Joe Average is gonna get most of their info from the TV...And most of the info on TV is crap...

I also noticed, When the last few years of President Bush's term, MCNBC 's rating were up and beating FOX in most cases...Now that President Obama is in office, FOX is on top...Why, because we (generally speaking) love the controversy...We love the guy on top getting bashed...What the hell does that say about us?

Seriously...When the Health Care bill was passed Sunday night, I saw people going nuts online...Too many comments about the U.S. becoming a Communist state...That's insane...1. It's a long way before most if any of the bill gets into action...2. I have ever bit of confidence that the people would not let that happen...BTW it's not happening...Screaming socialism is a great scare tactic, and all politicians love to scare us...3. There are some good things in the bill...My one friend was saying dumb shit, and I asked, Have you read it...What do you know about it...He knew pretty much zip...When I explained some of it to him, he agreed that some of it was good..."But I just don't like that guy." (the President) I don't love the thing, but we clearly need to reform the insurance racket in this country...Then I saw some one comment that "next the government was planning on taking over the student loans"...Um...Almost all student loans are already in the governments hands...

I guess what I'm trying to say, is there is plenty of blame to go around...The Democrats...The Republicans...The Media for giving more opinion then fact...And we the people, for not doing our homework...Not being informed enough...For not holding the politicians and media accountable for continuously f**king us over!

Feel free to comment...Agree or diagree...Debate is a wonderful thing, and there isn't enough of it these days...Lately we get more name calling, and lies then debate...

I'm the Beeze, and I approve this blog...

Later

Monday Moaning

Yeah, even his bracket is totally screwed!

They call it "March Madness" for a reason...I'm guessing many of you have a jacked up bracket...I'll be honest with ya...The only shit I got right was Ohio University winning their first game, and Cornell winning their first two...I had Kansas in the final and Pitt and Villanova in the final Four...so I'm screwed! Oh well...To me, it's just basketball, and I could give a shit less...

The NCAA Hockey Tournament is set, and it should be another good one...Yeah, I know I'm one of a small number who pay attention to college hockey...It's my blog, if you don't like it...Piss off!

In the Mid-West the teams are 1 Miami (Ohio) vs 4 Alabama-Huntsville...2 Bemidji State vs 3 Michigan...

In the North East it's 1. Boston College vs 4 Alaska...2 North Dakota vs 4 Yale...

In the West it's 1 Wisconsin vs 4 Vermont...2 Northern Michigan vs 3 St. Cloud State...

And in the East it's 1 Denver vs 4 RIT...2. Cornell vs 3 New Hampshire...

Here's a link to a bracket if you care... http://www.collegehockeynews.com/reports/confinfo.php?c=7&d=bracket

Here's my quick pick of who is coming out of each region...Just as they did last year, Bemidji State will surprise some people in the Mid-West...North Dakota will have an epic battle with BC and squeak out of the North East...Vermont will upset Wisconsin and right that momentum out of the West...And Denver will plow through the East...We'll see how I do next week...

Next up...My beloved and clearly bewildered New York Rangers are slowly spiralling down the crappy...They lost Sunday afternoon, to the somewhat struggling Bruins...Some people have said Henrik Lundqvist has lost some of his confidence...I think he's lost confidence in his team...They don't score, and often the defense gets caught out of position...They're done!

On the Bruins end...It's clear that Tuukka Rask is their man between the pipes...I bet they wish they could get some of that money back from Tm Thomas...Also this week...For the first time I saw Zdeno Chara actually look like a captain...I never got why e was wearing the "C"...He never seemed like that guy to me...But he actually played like a guy who is 6 ft. 9 in. and 255 lbs. and showed some type of leadership on the ice...Sadly against the Penguins, his teammates didn't seem to get the message...

I have always loved what a big deal Hockey Night in Canada is...And I love Don Cherry..I may have to post Don every week...The guy is great!



I've had a little time to think about the Browns trading Brady Quinn to the Broncos...I really like Peyton Hillis, and he should help this team...And more draft picks is a good think...The Browns are full of needs...But I swear to if they draft another QB in the 1st round...I'm gonna be screaming like a Jets fan!



This past week Cleveland has had great weather...The kids and I spent a little time at the park everyday after school, and I have to say, the Little Beeze is getting better at dealing with other kids...He's always good at school...But sometimes on the playground when he and his sister are playing with kids her age...He gets a little chippy...Ahh, he's gonna be a fine 3rd liner one day! But he isn't taking the cheap shots this year that he did last year...My God he's learned something...

Last week I mentioned he did some art work in the bathroom with the tooth paste...Well we had a talk about that...No more painting with tooth paste...So Sunday morning I'm sitting on the shitter...I look at the wall next to me and what do I see...A new piece of artwork done by the boy...This time, with shit!

Time for another talk!



Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Spending Too Much Time On YouTube...Again

So the whole Beeze Family ended up in bed early tonight...Well except me...It's rare that I go to bed early...Early for me is 1:00AM...So I've been bouncing around online and of course spent too much time on YouTube...I know I've done other posts like this, but who cares...There's so much good shit out there, why not post it...Let's start with something I found tonight...

The Techno Viking!



How f**king cool is that dude!?!

This next one my buddy Jurk sent me this one on Facebook...Laughed so much I almost shit myself...You'll get it in a second...



Hahahaha! Yes, I'm pointing and laughing at her!

Now let's take a look at one of the best hockey fights I've seen this year...This throw down happened tonight, and it's an instant classic...



As one of the announcers said..."Wow!"

Next up, comedian Patrice O'Neal giving women some helpful hints on how to treat their men...



What else is there to say?

This past week legendary musician Alex Chilton died...Here's Paul Westerberg doing his song inspired by the man...



Now I know this next one is old for the topic it's about...But it's Bill Burr being himself, and saying exactly what I have felt for awhile now...10 minutes of Bill Burr blasting Peyton Manning...I love it!



I'll now end this with some more music...A little montage of Our Lady Peace on their latest tour...



Next weekend their in Buffalo and the old lady and I will be there...Kid free for a night! Can't wait!

Later, The Beeze.

I Should Have Written This Long Ago

The other day at The Fish House, a co-worker asked me if I had ever walked out of a movie...I had said yes, but for the life of me I couldn't remember what movie it was...Awhile later he asked if I had thought of it yet...I hadn't...I still haven't...Then he asked me if I had seen "The bridges of Madison County?"

-

This poor bastard had no idea the can of worms he opened up..."Yes I have...F**k that movie!" He asked why would I see that movie? "As men we'll do whatever we have to for some p*$$y." His next question, "Um, so you didn't like it?" "F**k No!" And from there the rant went flying out of my mouth...

If you don't know this movie, it's about a house wife who is unhappy in her marriage...Played by Meryl Streep...She meets and falls for this traveling photographer, who is there only for a short time, to photograph the stupid bridges and what not...Played by Clint Eastwood...The movie is boring as hell...Slow, drawn out, and aggravating...

(Okay, I'm a about to do some generalizing ladies)...Women seem to love this piece of crap...They think it's beautiful, and sweet, and poetic, and most importantly, romantic...WHAT!?!

She's a f**king whore...Don't say it...I know, women get pissed when other women who get around are called whores or sluts...They feel there is a double standard...That it's okay for guys to get around...No double standards here...My standards will do just fine...If a guy is banging tons of women, like Tiger Woods...In my book, he's a whore too...

People want to say, that Streep's character wasn't with her true love...That she was in a bad marriage...That she was treated like shit...Hey, she chose to marry the guy...She chose to stay...This is the big double standard society likes to have...If a guy cheats on his wife, he's a f**king asshole...If the wife cheats on her husband, it's because he's an asshole...Bullshit! She's a dirty gash!

And no, I'm not making this up...Some one close to me found out his wife was having an affair...Know hat she told him? It's his fault...He works too much, and isn't around enough...Really...Sorry he was keeping a roof over the heads his 5 children and wife...Oh, and feeding them...Sending them to Catholic school...Don't forget the college tuition...Oh yes and your car payment...All because you want to be a stay at home mom...Drop dead pig! (sorry spun out of control there)...Back to this awful movie...

So when Clint and his big camera come to town and she jumps on...She is now an adulteress, whore...Maybe your marriage would be so bad, if you weren't having picnics with Clint...

Maybe you should have been home getting a ham sandwich ready for the old man...And chase that with a blow job...(Holy crap that came out sounding sexist!...Ah screw it...My wife works later then I do, and when she comes home she's got dinner waiting for her and the dishes are done...So bite me!)

Oh, and Clint is so charming...F**k you! This character he plays has got to be based off of a real dude...Probably went from town to town with his camera...Banging housewife after housewife...Bitch got played...

Then the tense seen at the end...(In case you haven't seen this crap...Spoiler alert)...Meryl is in the truck with her old man...It's raining...She sees Clint getting into his truck ready to leave town...Of course he had offered to take her away from her husband and two kids...There she is thinking about it...hand on the door handle...sweating...almost panting...You can hear her gash getting wet...She wants so badly to jump out...She wants to feel Clint inside her again...But in the end, she stays, and quietly weeps...Surely she spent the rest of her days longing for this stranger that probably gave her a disease from one of his many cum dumpsters...

The girl I went to see this drivel with loved it...Oh so many of them do...It was customary to get some road head on the way to dropping her off...But for the first time I wasn't that interested...I took it...Bad under protest...I was totally aggravated by this view...It's okay to cheat if you're unhappy...So I put this theory to use...I wasn't happy and I cheated...How's that taste!

I came to find out, they don't feel the same way when they're being cheated on...Oh, it's not so romantic when I bang your sister!?!

In closing...The movie sucked! It's not romantic...It's just a boring depiction of a bad wife giving it up to a scam artist...For all the women out there that think otherwise...You guy should go bang whatever he can, and make you taste it...Then maybe you'll change your mind...

Too harsh?

Later, The Beeze.

St. Patrick's Day History Lesson

(I posted this last year, but why not share it again with those who missed it)


I'll start simply by saying Happy St. Patrick's Day...Get your green on...Find some place that is doing' kegs and eggs...And don't forget the corned beef and Guinness for lunch!

So what's the deal with this St. Patrick cat anyway...Well let's have a little history lesson...

St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, and is one of the most well known figures in Christianity....His life remains a mystery....Most of the stories traditionally associated with St. Patrick including the famous account of him banishing all the snakes from Ireland...Even though there were no snakes...Are false, but have become well known because blarney....Or years, and years of exaggerated storytelling....No Irishman would ever do such a thing!

St. Patrick was born in Britain to wealthy parents near the end of the fourth century....It is believed to have died on March 17, around 460 A.D.....His father was a Christian deacon...It has been suggested that he probably took on the role because of tax incentives....There is no evidence that Patrick came from a religious family....At sixteen Patrick was taken prisoner by a group of Irish raiders while they were attacking his family's estate....They took him to Ireland where he was held captive for six years....There has been a dispute whether he was kept in County Antrim, or County Mayo...

He worked as a shepherd...afraid, and lonely he turned to his faith....And began dreaming about converting the Irish people to Christianity....

After six years as a prisoner, Patrick escaped....According to his writings...A voice, which he believed to be God's, spoke to him in a dream...Telling him it was time to leave Ireland....The stories say he walked 200 miles from County Mayo, to the Irish coast....Once back in Britain, Patrick reports that he experienced a second revelation....An angel tells him to return to Ireland as a missionary...He begins his religious training...After being ordained he is sent back to Ireland to minister to the Christians living there, and to convert the Irish...This is funny because it has often been said that St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland...

Most Irish practiced a nature based pagan religion....Having known their culture and language...Patrick chose to incorporate traditional rituals into his lessons of Christianity, instead of attempting to eradicate native Irish beliefs...The Irish were used to honoring their gods with fire...So Patrick used bonfires to celebrate Easter...The sun was a powerful Irish symbol...So he superimposed the sun onto the Christian cross...Creating what is now known as the Celtic Cross..

The Irish culture has always had a rich tradition of oral legend and myth....It is no surprise that the tales of St. Patrick, and his life have been exaggerated...

For me...Someone who has long questioned his faith...When I celebrate St. Patrick's...It's not so much about him...It's about family, and our heritage...And about those who struggled...Those who fought...And those who died...Many of them simply because they were Irish...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Okay, if you're looking for any kind of NCAA Bracket talk, you've come to the wrong place...I've got no tips for ya...I don't have a clue...Basketball and I just don't see eye to eye...I mean c'mon, I'm 5'7"...5'9" with my skates on!

So I'll be starting off with some Cleveland Browns news...Last week the Browns dumped QB Derek Anderson...Good, nobody in their right mind is giving that guy a $2 million bonus...Then $7 million for the season...They made a deal for Seneca Wallace...Then the Browns made a few free agent signings, landing Tony Pashos, Scott Fujita, and Ben Watson...But they weren't finished...Then they signed 35 year old QB Jake Delhomme, who sucked for the Panthers last year...(Sorry about that B-Dub!)...Delhomme's deal is for 2 and the rumor is he'll make around $7 million...Dump a hack sign a hack!

Now Sunday night the news breaks that the Browns have traded QB Brady Quinn ( a former first round pick) to the Denver Broncos for Fullback Peyton Hillis, a 2011 6th round pick, and a conditional pick in 2012...It's also being reported that the Browns moved another former first round pick, outside linebacker Kamerion Wimbley to the Raiders for draft picks...

Well if nothing else Holmgren is making serious changes...I just wonder if they'll work...My God the Browns seem to be in a constant state of rebuilding...

Now onto some HOCKEY...That's right...Not Basketball...HOCKEY!

I was pretty pissed off this week when I found out Matt Cooke wasn't getting a suspension for his hit on Marc Savard last week...(You'll see it in the video in a minute)...Cooke made his reputation as a hard-nosed player, with some skill and excellent speed...In the last couple years his reputation has turned into him being a dirty, cheap-shot, punk bitch...And Saturday night, Don Cherry, said what he thought, as he always does, on Hockey Night in Canada...



God Bless Don Cherry!

The NHL should be embarrassed for not suspending Cooke...They also have to do something about the head shots...Concussions are getting out of hand this year...I can't wait for some one to end Cooke's career , that f**king punk...And Don is right...Crosby better watch himself!

Now, here's a little news from The Fish House...First...If you have a seafood allergy...Why are you being a pain in my ass and eating at a seafood restaurant?

So last week a member of The Fish House staff had an epileptic seizure...Now first off, the guy is an asshole, who's worked there since New Year's Eve...First day he pissed people off...Including me...Go figure...We come to find out he's a bit of a junkie...And a lazy b!tch...But this is how much people don't like the guy...After he had the seizure, a number of people felt he was faking it...He'd been trying to get out of work all day...Had the seizure...An ambulance came...And he refused treatment and went home...Three things...1. If you have a seizure and people think you are faking it...You must be an asshole...2. If you were faking it, which refusing treatment doesn't help your case...You're an asshole! 3. If you have Epilepsy, stop buying crack, and get the proper medication from a doctor, Asshole!

Then Johnny Asshole gets pissed and threatens to sue the company because they want a medical release before he can come back to work...F**k You!

So after a couple of days of bullshit, he shows up with a note saying he' okay to work, and says he'll be in the next morning...Guess who didn't show up? Johnny F**king Asshole! He did manage to come in around 2 in the afternoon for his check, and to give some bullshit song and dance about misreading the schedule...I don't know what the final outcome is going to be...The big guns get nervous when some ass-hat cries lawsuit...But my feeling is we should 86 the Asshole!

Toyota and their accelerator problems have been in the news quite a bit...I thought I'd share this video I found Saturday night with everyone...Just some tips, in case you run into this problem...



That guy is awesome!

Sunday we went to a St. Patrick's Day party at the home of some of my oldest and dearest friends...It was great seeing them all...It's been way too long...We were having a good time catching up, and bullshitting about things...But after a few hours the little Beeze hit his breaking point...He was good for the most part playing with the other kids...But he wakes up too damn early everyday, and when he gets tired he goes into full blown dick mode...you know how there's always one kid at a get together...That one kid that has to make a bit of a seen...Yeah, that's my kid!

Next time guys...Let's do this without the kids!

Good luck with your brackets people...If anyone wants to get into a NCCAA Hockey Bracket Challenge, let me know!

Let's close with some music...Our Lady Peace kicked off their "An Evening with Our Lady Peace" tour last weekend...2 nights in each city...Almost 3 hours of music each night...A bunch of songs they've never done live...It's pretty sweet!

Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

My God People Piss Me Off

I haven't been posting as much lately...Mainly because I feel like shit...I blame it on my oral surgery...Scroll down to read all about that crap...

Warning: My angry ranting may offend some people out there...I try to mix in some humor...Sometimes the best humor comes from honesty...I don't know if this will bring you a smile...But it helps my mental state to write it...If you don't like it...Go Screw!

So the first thing that is pissing me off, is Derek Anderson...Former Browns Quarterback...First the people who think the Browns should have kept him...You're stupid! He threw 3 Touchdowns and 10 Interceptions last year...He was due a $2 million dollar bonus next week if they kept him...Plus his stupid $7 million salary for the season...NOT WORTH IT!!!

Then this hack takes shots at the City of Cleveland after the team dumps his ass...Saying that Browns fans are "Ruthless" and "Don't deserve a winner." Hey Derek you don't deserve $9 million for throwing passes to the other team, you C*nt! He also hopes to come back here with his new team and "Roll" the Browns...You'll be lucky to be somebody's backup C*nt! And if you think Cleveland is "ruthless" boy are you in for a surprise...For a city that has done nothing but support losing teams, you got off easy...You sound like that crying b!tch Tim Couch, you C*nt!

D. A. I hope you break your neck trying out to be somebody's 3rd string QB!

Next...Lindsay Lohan wants $100 million from E*Trade because she feels they took a shot at her reputation in one of their baby commercials...Lindsay, we all know you're not a "Milkaholic." You're an Alcoholic! The only person that f**ked up your reputation was you...The constant photos of you wasted coming out of clubs...Wasted in cars...Grinding on whoever was there...Bombed out of your mind showing the world your gash...Lindsay, this is your reputation... -
Hey, that's fine...Party it up...I don't give a damn...But don't go acting like you name is a brand, like Oprah...I don't like Oprah, but we've seen you've slumped over in a car showing TMZ your dirty hatchet wound...Oprah doesn't do that...Oprah's family doesn't come out in the media and talk about how you need to go to rehab...Oprah doesn't take her 15 year old sister out to the clubs and get her wasted...You're not a brand...Your stupid name is pretty common...

Do the world a favor...Feel free to OD any day now!

Next up...There has been a lot of complaints about "The Hurt Locker" winning the Oscar for "Best Picture." Many of the shots have been taken at the director and the writer...Much of this has come from Veterans...Listen...Veterans, I love you...I respect you, and I thank you...I mean no disrespect by this...It was a movie...Movies are about entertainment and making money...It wasn't up for "Best Documentary." I liked the movie a lot...I never served in Iraq, but I could pick out at least 10 things in the movie that I knew were bullshit...I know bomb techs didn't have that gear...But Hollywood isn't a fan of reality...Even if a movie is based on real events, Hollywood has to pretty it up...

I would love to see Veterans write their stories, and push some Hollywood big wigs to get the real story out there...Push Hollywood to get behind documentaries...Every year those douche bags sit there and roar about the "Best Documentary" category...But it's just for show...If it wasn't, movies like "Food Inc" and "The Cove" would have been released in every theater in this country...

I'm honestly not trying to shit on Veterans...Hollywood is flawed...We she be focusing more on the documentaries...Less on the Movies...(movies=entertainment) But Hollywood doesn't think we can handle reality enough to pay to see it...Maybe they're right...But I wouldn't mind giving it a try...

Next...Nomar Garciaparra signed with the Red Sox, then retired...I've seen way too many stories about this today...I liked Nomar...Back before he was a little bitch sitting on the bench in Yankee stadium...Hell I didn't even realize he hadn't retired already...


Lastly, Ben Roethlisberger has another accuser...This time he admits to throwing it into the chick, but that it was consensual...I'm guessing they had plenty of proof that he was inside her since she stopped by the hospital right afterwards...But hey, innocent until proven guilty in this country...I don't know know if he's lying, or he is...Maybe a little of both...All I know is, "Big Ben" has a growing track record of putting himself into stupid situations...

Wake up you stupid, fat faced, Shrek looking idiot...Or go crash your motorcycle again!

Alright, I think that's enough for one night...Let's end this with a laugh...



Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

And the winner is..."The Hurt Locker"...

James Cameron must feel like that dude in the picture...That dope spent ten years working on his over the top special effects, CGI out the ass, sci-fi movie...And he lost "Best Picture" and "Best Director" to his ex-wife...OUCH!

But I wasn't surprised...SCI-Fi doesn't win at the Oscars...There were no surprises this year...There rarely are...Bunch of stuffy, uptight, ass kissing, douche-baggery..."The Hurt Locker" was a really good movie...Yes there is a lot of bullshit that wouldn't really happen in reality...But it's a movie...And a good one at that...

Moving on, this past week hasn't been the best for me...You can read up on my pain here...

http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-trip-to-oral-surgeon.html

Saturday the wife and I hit the movies...I was feeling better and wanted a couple hours away from the kids...We went and saw "Cop Out." You can read about that here...

http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2010/03/beezes-reviews-cop-out.html

After the movie we stopped by Borders Books & Music...First, why don't we take Music out of the name...The music section has gotten to be the size of my half bathroom...And the music selection is for shit! Most of it is old...You know for the people who just upgraded from vinyl to CD's...No I don't need any Jim Croce...And I had the Led Zeppelin box set when I was 15...But wait...Borders is trying hard to stay hip...They've got f**king Radiohead CD's coming out their ass! We get it...Radiohead =you're too cool for the room...Way to play your computer...

Thom Yorke is a fruity dancing douche!

So we roam around the store for awhile...I see a huge sign that says '"CALENDARS"...We need a calendar...This Christmas was the first in my life that some one didn't give me a Lighthouse calendar...Yes, I love lighthouses...It's very odd, because I'm not a fan of water...So I go over and find...Nothing that resembles a calendar...Then after searching for an employee for more then 5 minutes, she tells me, "Whatever is there, is what we have"...I replied with, "You have nothing!" and walked away...

I ended up leaving with a book called "Odd Man Out" by Matt McCarthy...It's the story of him and his not so famous life in baseball...So far I'm enjoying it...I also got a cookbook that was marked down to $5...Has some really cool stuff in it I may be stealing for specials at The Fish House...The wife Grabbed some Dean Koontz book and something else...Oh, and a Alice in Wonderland book for the girl, (The most expensive thing we purchased) and a Sponge Bob book for the boy...

Speaking of the Little Beeze...We got a nice surprise when we got home...The sitter tried to clean most of it up, but his slick...You see, some artists work with oils...Some with pastels...Some with water colors...Some simply draw with pen or pencil...The Little Beeze apparently was working on a masterpiece in the bathroom, with toothpaste...Well at least it smells fresh in there!

I'll be honest, I haven't spent much time paying attention to sports this past week...Spring training games got underway...Not interested...The NHL trading deadline came and went...Over 50 players were moved around the league...But no major shake-up...Like all trading deadline days, it was hyped for no reason...

Sunday The Boston Bruins, and Marc Savard got dealt a blow they didn't want, as Matt Cooke of the Penguins put his forearm/elbow right upside Savard's head...Savard is out indefinitely...And I'm sure the league will be looking at the video since it was a head shot...


NFL free agency has gotten underway but I'll be honest...I'm not that well informed about it all...I know The Bears made the first big splash signing Julias Peppers to some insane money...And they also signed Chester Taylor...The Ravens made a good move grabbing Anquan Boldin...And the Jets secondary just got even better with the signing of Antonio Cromartie...But that's all I got on that...

One last thing before I go...I don't consider myself geek...But I do have a fondness for "STAR WARS"...I also have a fondness for sexy women...So when I saw this I thought...WOW! What a great idea...



Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Reviews "Cop Out"

I hate critics...That's why I started reviewing restaurants awhile back...Food critics suck...Most have no practical experience in the restaurant business...Movie critics often suck just as much...Some ass-hat gives another ass-hat a job watching movies, and writing their opinion on it...Well in this day and age, who needs these people? With big mouths like me and so many others, the Internet is full of opinions...And that's all they are...

I've noticed "Cop Out" getting drilled in the media...Even on ROTTEN TOMATOES http://www.rottentomatoes.com/ has dogged it...That's the only movie reviewing outlet I even look at anymore...

One of the big complaints about "Cop Out" is that, "Dude this buddy cop movie has already been done before." NO SHIT! What movie hasn't been done before? They all have! Hell half the previews before the movie were for remakes of movies I saw as a kid...And F**k you, the original "Clash of the Titans" was awesome...Now it's gonna be all f**ked up with all kinds of CGI!

By the way, the remake of "Death at a Funeral" looks hilarious!

So, let's get to "Cop Out." The wife and I went Saturday night...It was already moved to one of the smaller theaters...And it was full...

First if you are one of the haters...You're wrong...Yes this is an opinion based piece, but as you may already know, I feel my opinion is always right...I'm so sick of people looking too deeply into movies and trying to take things too seriously...I'm going to be entertained...If I want reality I'll stay at home with my kids and wait for my son to destroy something...Like my spirit...The movie was originally titled "A Couple of Dicks" but the studio wasn't gonna go with that...So they change it to "Cop Out." Get it?

If you're a Kevin Smith fan and you're looking for his signature monologues...Go watch "Clerks" again...He didn't write this movie...Just directed it...And God bless him for paying homage (a word that is brought up early in the movie) to classic cop movies...The soundtrack sounded straight out of "Beverly Hills Cop." That was an instant laugh for me...

Now, Bruce Willis as a cop...You can't go wrong with that...He's the greatest American action hero ever! And he knows how do comedy...And let the real comedians do there thing...And Tracy Morgan was doing his thing...How any director can handle that guy is unreal...And Sean William Scott was great...You love him, but you want to punch him in the face!

The story was good...Not great, but good...The action was good...Not over the top...Good...And most importantly the comedy was excellent...The wife and I both laughed throughout the movie...And what else do you want from a comedy? LAUGHS! We had them...And by the sound of the rest of the theater, everyone else was getting the laughs...

So here's the deal...If you want to get some laughs and see some tributes to classic '80's cop movies, you'll like "Cop Out."

Some other advice...They're just movies...Stop taking them so seriously, and let yourself be entertained...

Later, The Beeze.

My Trip to the Oral Surgeon

The above picture shows what it felt like had happened to me Monday morning...

Let me start by saying I've never been to a dentist and not left feeling worse...I have had nothing but bad experiences ever since I was a kid...It's sad because when I was little I always said I wanted to be a comedian or a dentist...Then some prick got a hols of my teeth and f**ked the dentist idea up...

The first biggie was when I was having a root canal on one of my front teeth and the the dentist said "Oh shit!" A couple weeks later I had to go back so he could "Clean things up." Whatever the hell that meant...

Then there were a couple cavities that needed fixed...except these ass-hats never seem to be able to numb me enough...They informed me I seem to have some extra nerve activity in my lower jaw...

Then I needed my Wisdom Teeth out...Some how in my big mouth there wasn't enough room for them, and they had crashed into my back molars and busted a couple of those up...For that they put me to sleep, they took out 3 Wisdom Teeth and 2 molars...But they were having trouble and couldn't keep me out any longer, so I woke up with 4 hands in my mouth with these bastards picking out shards of my teeth...The roots were wrapped around the nerves so they couldn't just yank...It was a mess...

After that I was done...I hadn't seen a dentist since...Jump to a few weeks ago when some dental pain got to be too much...It had been 10-12 years since I was in a dentists office...What it came down to was this...I needed 4 molars taken out...One was broken and couldn't be fixed...One was filled twice and the filling came out again, and I wasn't going through that again...So I let it go...Two others were just weak and chipping away...They said all my other teeth were as strong as could be...But these ones were just weak...

So the appointment was set for Monday...Get them yanked...I will be getting at least one bridge after this mess in my mouth heals...This Oral Surgeon was set on doing bone grafts and possibly talking me into implants...Implants aren't covered by insurance, and cost about $4000...NO thanks...I said no to the grafts...(Grafts are about $600 per spot filled)...They can lead to infections sometimes...BTW grafts are made out of a cadaver bone paste...It's creepy if you ask me...

So they sedated me...Then started numbing me up...I drifted off during this...Late in the process I was coming out of the sedation, and I clearly wasn't numb enough...One tooth was being a real son of a bitch...They were battling to get it out and I could feel it all...I was kicking my feet and tried to raise my left arm...I was sedated enough not to punch the f**ker...The nurse held my shoulders, and they kept having to tell me to open my mouth...I thought I was yelling so I assumed it was open...

I dozed out again...When I was awake and it was all done, they wheeled me into another room...My wife was there...I was loopy but could tell she had been crying...They had told her the bill was some f**king insane amount, and she had asked, "To pull 4 teeth? We don't have that." Mind you we paid $1000 in advance and our insurance will cover $1500...They informed her that it included the bone grafts...She said, "I told you no bone grafts when I put the $1000 down to schedule the appointment." She also told them how I had said no bone grafts...

So we all got together in this room and I asked "What's wrong?" My wife told me about the grafts...Well folks...The Beeze lost his shit...My mouth was swollen...I was drooling blood...And I was mother f**king everyone but my wife...The douche dentist said well in case you get an implant it's good that it's done..."I'm not getting a f**king implant!" They showed me the teeth and how large the roots were, and told me tat it was a lot of bone loss in my jaw..."I told you no bone grafts! I told her no bone grafts! My wife told her no bone grafts! Take the shit out!"

It was at this point they closed the door...Probably not good for the entire waiting room and office to hear a high insane bloodied mouth guy going bat shit on everyone...The douche then was informed by his scheduler that we had said no grafts...He said, "Don't worry, you don't have to pay for. We'll take care of it!" My response, "I said no grafts! Everyone gets infections from grafts! If I get an infection I'm gonna sue!" At this point my wife says I was crying...I blame the drugs...Then I puked blood all over the place...Even got some on douche bag!

Since then I've felt like shit...I'm on antibiotics which make my stomach feel like shit...I can't eat much of anything...Had lots of scrambled eggs, and soup so far...Oh I did kill a few snack packs...Today was the first day were the pain seemed to ease up...I've only put ice packs on my face once today...They did hook me up with some Vicodin...I've taken a few...But I'll probably be selling most of them to this one junkie at the Fish House!

Maybe it's just me who has bad luck with this stuff...But I wonder, Why do we need to water-board anyone...Why not just let c*ck sucker Oral Surgeons like this guy loose on terrorists?

That's what I've been up to...Time to pop some pills...

Later, The Beeze.