It seems Cleveland Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore likes to take pictures of himself...Pictures of himself playing with his junk...And yes, some of himself naked...
Nice tea cup Grady! Just so the females out there know...I'd have to use the whole 12 cup coffee pot to cover up my gear...Ask Mrs. Beeze...Daddy's got a big yam bag to go with his hog!
But this isn't about me...It's about Grady...I'm not a fan of people saying athletes are role models...But I do realize, and know that a lot of kids in this town look up to Sizemore...So why the hell would he put these out on the Internet...What is he thinking...Never mind that he looks gay...No offense to the gay community...It just a bit of a rumor that's bounced around...And after seeing these, it popped back up...
I just don't get why he would do it...It doesn't make sense to me...But most people in this world don't make sense to me...
Three things are clear...Grady really love himself...He's a dolt...And he ain't packin' that much!
And since I'm here talking about nonsense, and sh!t that doesn't make sense to me...I was watching "The Empire Strikes Back" last night...I started wondering...Why the hell do the Stormtroopers have to wear those stupid white armor uniforms...They do no good...One laser blast from Han Solo and that dumb clone bastard is dead...So why the stupid high-priced white armor uniform...I don't get it!
Tomorrow I'm going to be putting up Christmas lights and crap...Not because I want to...For the kids...I'm thinking of trying something different...What ya think of this idea?
"Tiger Woods is the lead story on the network nightly news? The American tv news media shld do the honorable thing and commit hari kari." -Bill Maher (Sunday Nov 29, 9:49PM via twitter)
I totally agree...Yes Tiger Woods is a celebrity, and we often swarm to celebrity scandals...But seriously, that should not be the lead story on the nightly news...Not when the economy is still f**ked...The unemployment rate is still climbing...Our country is involved in multiple wars...And that's just a couple problems in our neck of the woods...But screw it...Tiger may have boned some one other then his wife...You know, 'cause the National Enquirer said so...They never make shit up! Please feel free to slap yourself!
Speaking of slapping dolts...The Fighting Irish lost again...Nice swan song fatty! Stop by the 'Buzz to read all the low lights... http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/
But there's something else that's been bothering me on the Notre Dame front...Lou Holtz...I know Irish fans, we're suppose to love this crazy old coot...But he picked the Irish to play for the National Championship this year...Then, even when that's well out of reach, he's still hyping the hell out of the Irish...he just can't except reality...Once again proving my point, that old people should have to take a test...If they fail...Eliminate them...
Crap, I haven't even talked about Thanksgiving yet...Let me give ya a quick rundown...I got up early...some day off...Got the 22 lb. turkey in the oven...Made coffee...Got some things organized in the kitchen...Did some cleaning...Got a headache from the little Beeze yelling and getting excited by crap in the parade...Got the rest of the food ready for the lazy, free loading relatives that left this up to me for the 6th year in a row...
We ate...Watched football...Drank Christmas Ale...Cleaned up...Got these people out of my house...Took a nap...Got the kids to bed...Stuffed Mrs. Beeze...Watched "Home for the Holidays" Went to sleep...Got up, went to the Fish House for "Black Friday"...The very first order of the day...A f**king Turkey Club...What a douche!
Now, lets talk some hockey...Friday night the little Beeze and I were watching the New York Rangers play the Tampa Bay Lightning...the Mrs. took the daughter to the new Twilight movie...Uhhgg...Another mind wasted...Anyway, the boy and I are enjoying the game...Then he sees my rage...He knows it well...Rangers rookie defenseman Michael Del Zotto puts a great check on Vincent Lecavalier...Totally legal...Totally clean...But Vinny didn't like it...So he gets his shit together, and goes looking for Del Zotto...As the play stops, Lecavalier goes after Del Zotto...the kid didn't back down, but his teammate Sean Avery jumped in the way and mixed it up a little with Vinny the b!tch...
My problem with his situation...With Lecavalier...It was a good, clean hit...This has been happening too much the last few years...Every time a guy gets blasted with a hit people drop the gloves...Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fighting in hockey...And if you throw a dirty hit, I'm all for you getting a beating...But if a clean hit is dished out...Take it like a man Hayley Wickenheiser...Enough with this I'm aloud to hit but no one can hit me crap...It's Hockey for f**ks sake!
If you don't get the Wickenheiser reference, here ya go...Thanks to my buddy Hotch...
While, I'm taking shots at the game I love...Is it just me, or does the NHL network blow? Honestly, I'm kinda bored by it...Not a lot of programing...And "NHL On The Fly" could use some work...Nothing like putting people to sleep with hockey highlights...Even the programing on the NHL's channel on XM Radio is lame...But I have the solution...Put me on there...I'll get some of my boys in there and I guarantee we'll get those ratings up...
Since I mentioned XM...Opie from Opie & Anthony posted this on YouTube and it made me say What the f**k? so I'll share it here...
Moving on from that...Saturday, the boy and I were watching the Rangers again...I was hoping for a better result then Friday...He says, "Who do you ant to win?" I said, "The Rangers...In white with red pants." This little shit says, "I want the team in black!" My response wasn't so nice..."What! That's the Penguins! You can't root for the Penguins!" He politely said, "I like Penguins." Son of a b!tch...So I bounce over to the Notre Dame, Stanford game...It's just about to start...He asks, "are you rooting for the team in white Dad?" I replied yes..."I want the red team!" Unreal...5 years old, and he's already a complete and total ball buster...
-
Let's finish this one off with a song...Here once again is Canada's own Billy the Kid...
Well, it's the night before Thanksgiving...I worked all day...Came home and started working more...I got the dry rub on the Turkey...I roasted off Spaghetti Squash, cooled it down, then scraped it out...Tomorrow it will tossed in a saute pan with butter, brown sugar and salt & pepper...I also roasted the sweet potatoes...Again, brown sugar and butter were a big part of this...The Mrs. has a sweet tooth!
The house is mostly clean for our guests, but I'm sure the boy will trash it twice before everyone gets here...Now, everyone is asleep, and I was just pondering the things I'm thankful for...Which let to me pondering the things I'm not s thankful for...So here's a couple of lists all mixed up together like roasted garlic mashed potatoes...
Thanks: For my amazing, smart, sexy, loving, wonderful, hard working, wife...Who for some reason fell for me, and puts up with my crap...Especially all the crap I write about, that most people wouldn't their spouse to share...
No Thanks: sports fans who act like total and complete douche bags...You may have heard that Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen was punched outside a South Bend bar/restaurant...By who? I loyal Notre Dame fan...I've heard and read a few different versions of the story, but what I get from all of them is this...A "FAN" gave a young lady Clausen was with, some sh!t...Clausen stepped in...Shoved the douche, and got punched in the eye...Listen, I understand Irish fans being pissed...I am...But not at Clausen...The kid has been great this year...He's busted his ass for the team...And you sure as hell don't start sh!t with a girl he's with...You're not a fan...You're an asshole!
Thanks: My daughter...She talks almost constantly...But I'll take it...She's almost 8 and still wants to talk to me...I'm okay with that...She's wicked smart...Like her mom...And honestly, she's the closest thing to an angel, that I'll most likely ever get to know...
No Thanks: The Davey O'Brien Award committe...I don't want to seem like Jimmy Clausen's PR guy, but what the f**k? I couldn't stand the kid when he got to South Bend...And he had a couple of crap seasons...And he's always had a bit of a douche bag swagger...But the award is about this year...And he's been outstanding...Yet he wasn't named a finalist... http://blog.daveyobrien.org/2009/11/23/2009-o’brien-quarterback-award-finalists-announced/
Here's his stats this season...266 completions on 395 attempts...3382 yards...67.3 completion percentage...23 touchdowns and 4 interceptions...
Stupid Tim Tebow's stats...(in the same order) 145 out of 223...For 1945 yards...65%...14 TD...4INT...
Colt McCoy...286 out of 392 for 3024...73%...23TD...9INT...
Casey Keenum...387 out of 553 for 4599...70%...36TD...6INT...
Unreal...Why is Tebow included? Don't give me the "he's a running threat also" crap...he rushed for 706 yards and 11 TD's...Clausen rushed for 3 so he's still got more TD's...And if you add Tebow's rushing yards, it still doesn't come close to Clausen or the other two...F**k Tim Tebow, and all the media dolts swinging on his nuts! No Thanks to him too!
Thanks: My son...He's a pain in the ass...But he gives me good material to write about...He also gives me something else...A glimpse of myself, when I was young...Which leads to him getting a glimpse of my father when he was younger...Via the way I respond to how he acts...We often grow up saying we aren't going to be like our parents...My son has shown me that being like my old man, isn't a bad thing...
No Thanks: Disgustingly fat people making videos, they think are funny, about being disgustingly fat...
Feel free to drop dead now, you fattastic, fatty, pig, fatty!
Thanks: Funny Thanksgiving videos...Okay, it's kinda dumb, but I laughed...Beastiality does that!
Thanks: Everyone who reads this nonsense I post, and keeps coming back for more...I appreciate it...Have a Happy and wonderful Thanksgiving!
Monday has made it's way back here again...And Turkey day is staring me in the face...Yep, my day off from the Fish House will be spent cooking...This is the 6th year in a row I'm getting stuck with it...But my daughter pointed out that traditions are important...Lucky me...
But before I touch on that topic...I have to start with the best NFL game of the weekend...The Cleveland Browns vs the Detroit Lions...WHAT!?! I know, f**king crazy...Who would have thought these two teams would combine for 75 points? Browns fans were on the edge of their seats, with the brown and orange leading 37-31...But the Lions were driving...Then on the last play Stafford launches one to the end zone...Interception Browns...WAIT! interference on the Browns...The Lions get one more play...But Stafford got drilled...He's hurt and on the sideline...WAIT! Coach Mangina calls a timeout...Look who's coming back in...Stafford...Just in time to throw his 5th touchdown pass of the day...GAME OVER! BROWNS SH!T THE BED AGAIN!
In other football low lights...Notre Dame lost again...This time to UConn...They lost a football game, to a basketball school...I shouldn't bitch...I predicted this one at the beginning of the year...But Fatty Weis please! You really don't want this job anymore, do ya? I've had enough with this pig...I go coach high school quarterbacks or something Chunky...BTW, you can read a bit about that crap ass game at http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/
Speaking of Big, Fat, Pigs...Kansas football coach, Mark Mangino has been under attack, and surprisingly not because of his weight...What a f**king mess this guy is...So apparently, he's the first football coach to yell at players, say mean things to them, crab them by their shoulder pads, and poke them in the chest, with his chubby sausage fingers...REALLY? At least he isn't poking them in the ass!
Maybe he crossed a line or two...I don't know, I wasn't there...But this just sounds like more pussification of the youth in America these days...When I was in 5th grade our coaches called us p*ssies, and a$$holes...Hell, I remember hearing a story about my high school's band director...Something about him telling some one to stop being such a c*nt!
Huh...He was a fat f**ker too...Maybe it's just something about fatties...Maybe they have some pent up fat aggression they need to take out on people every once in awhile...
Look, right here...He's saying, ' You throw another interception, the only salad you'll see me toss is yours!'
Seriously, Jayhawks...Toughen up a bit...And Fatty, get yourself on a treadmill!
Now, let's talk about Saturday night...After Notre Dame sh!t the bed...The Mrs. and I had to go to a surprise birthday party for a friend...I didn't feel like going, but our friends Bryan and May were going to be there, and they're always fun to hangout with...So we get there...OPEN BAR! Okay, this won't be too bad...Yeah, I only knew two people there, but screw it...But wait...There was a DJ...Apparently there wasn't any high school mixers this weekend, because this dolt just played stupid teeny-bopper crap...Look around dummy, the age range was 28-60...(Except for this 21 year douche)...I don't want to hear Miley Cyrus...Unless she's saying, 'Beeze I want you balls deep in my a$$!' There would be a Party in her A! (I hate that Party in the USA song.)
So, we ate, we drank...Drank some more...Laughed at the 21 year old douche trying to spit game at May...Then she asked me how her a$$ looked in her jeans and bent over in front of me...Johnny 21 year old douche fell over and creamed his jeans...By the way, it looked GOOD! I could say more, but I won't...I like being married to my wife, and I know Bryan is going to read this...
Shortly after we had our fill, we headed out, and stopped by a local Irish Pub...Had a drink, and listened to a band play some good old Irish tunes...Including one of my favorites...
Then on the way home, the Mrs. was telling me what a pain in the a$$ the little Beeze was that day, while i was at work...She said, "You know how I get mad when you yell at him before bed time...Remind of today next time." You see, there have been many nights when Mrs. Beeze gets home late from work...And just a hour or two later it's bed time...He's always tough at bed time, but now she realizes, I've been dealing with his crap for hours...Apparently he got her to her own breaking point...After that, I gently caressed her hair, and shoved her head in my lap...
Speaking of the little guy...Today he had his hands in his pants...Of Course...I asked him why he always has his hands in his pants...He response..."I like to have them in my pants." How the hell can I argue with that logic?
Now, with Thanksgiving approaching, I'd like to ask everyone to do a few things for me...Have a safe, and fun Thanksgiving...And be thankful...I know times are tough, and things can get pretty bad...But it could always be worse...I mean if you're reading this drivel, you haven't had your electricity turned off...
Also, after feeding a bunch of family on Thursday, I'll be back at the Fish House for the Black Friday Lunch Rush...Please, if for some reason you're going out to eat with all those leftovers in your fridge...Don't order a Turkey Club...It happens every year...And all I want to do, is go out to the table and cram 5 lbs of turkey down the dummy's throat...Then take a dump on the table...What? Too much?
And lastly...It's Thanksgiving...So drop and gobble...
I meant to post this sooner, but oh well...Monday night the Cleveland Browns played the Baltimore Ravens on Monday Night Football...I've grown tired of how poorly this team has been run since 1999...I've grown tired of the crappy players and the lame excuses...I gave up on the Browns this year...
There was no way I was going to drive myself crazy watching this game Monday night...I was already crazy enough, because our FOX affiliate bought the rights to show the game locally for those who don't have cable and what-not...I was enraged by this...Why? Because I watch "House." That prick is my kind of doctor...
So, what did I do Monday night? I thought I'd make a list of the things I did...My friend -A likes to make lists...She's very good at at...And write some great blogs...Check her out... http://www.weeklyadventuresordinarygirl.com/
Now, here's my list of what I did instead of watching the Browns game...
1. Continued my campaign of blasting FOX 8's message board, and twitter account, for not showing "House." They did end up showing it at 7:00PM Tuesday night...I DVRed it...
2. I watched some of the Columbus Bluejackets game with my kids...We also jumped over to the Boston Bruins game...Wasn't happy to see them lose to the Islanders...I'm a Ranger fan...Screw the Islanders!
3. After the kids were in bed, and sound a sleep...It was time for Mrs. Beeze and I to spend some quality time bumpin' of the uglies...
4. After that we had a snack and watched the movie "Crash"...I had been wanting to see this since it came out, and I have no idea why we haven't...The Mrs. bought it last week, so we threw it in...
I'm not here to give a full blown movie review, but this movie was awesome...I've never seen a movie delve into race, racism, and racial stereotypes like this...It really shows how truly dark we can be...It slaps you in the face with brutally honest racism...Then kicks you in the groin with how f**ked up and wrong stereotypes can be...Just to belt you again, with a stereotype being right...There's twists and turns not just in the story, or the characters...But also n the viewer...
The cast was great...The only person who stunk was Brendan Fraser...His character is a douche bag...And he pulls it off okay, since he is a douche bag...But honestly, his best role was in Encino Man...Everything else was crap!
If you haven't seen "Crash" check it out...
5. After that, I started reading a book called "The Five Hole Stories." two of my favorite topics combined...Sex and Hockey...How can you go wrong?
Here we are again...The weekend has come and gone, and Monday is here to punch us in the face...But this week is a celebration...Friday, The BEEZEWAX turned one year old...And this week...Tuesday I believe, You Gab Sports turns one year old...Happy Birthday Gabbers!
I'm not happy about the way things are going in South Bend...I think it's time for Fatty Weis to go!
Next up, The Cleveland Browns play the original Browns, the Baltimore Ravens, Monday night...God help us all, the Browns on Monday Night Football...Lowest ratings of the season I'll bet...I'm really hoping Jack and Jill Browns fans show up late...Let the people see an empty stadium...Let the league see what a joke this franchise has become...But there's something else about this, that really has me pissed...
Our local FOX affiliate, FOX 8 paid for the rights to show the game on their station..."For the people who don't have cable." I'm assuming they had to kick both the NFL and ESPN some money...Then when it was looking like the game wouldn't sellout...FOX 8 bought the remaining 3,000 plus tickets before the black out deadline...Why does this bother me? First, seriously, if you don't have cable, or DIRECTV, or something...Please go in the corner and die...It's time to move on douche bag...If you don't have cable, you shouldn't have a TV...Second, "House" Mother f**king "House" is on Monday night!
If you give me the choice between seeing Dr. House treat people like shit, while he saves their lives, and deals with his demons...Or watching the Browns get f**king Mollywopped by the Ravens...I'll take the Dr. with a limp and a drug problem...And if Jamal Lewis plays for the Browns...I hope the Ravens break both his legs!
As I'm writing this, the New England Patriots are shitting the bed...and just blew their lead...I hate Peyton Manning...I hate all the Mannings! Son of a bitch! Game over.
Now, onto the little Beeze...regular readers know, he's like his old man...He's a pervert...A 5 year old pervert...He can't let go of his junk...He seems to enjoy getting wedgies...He's a freak...So Saturday, while I was at work...He was having a battle with my wife and wasn't willing to lose...He wasn't doing what he was told, and wouldn't listen...She threatened him with a spanking...(he knows this is an empty threat...She doesn't spank)...So he says, "Oh yeah! Then pulled down his pants...She told him to put them back on...He of course refused...He finally put his pants back on after she had thrown a couple of his toys into a garbage bag...This kid is a pain in the ass!
There's still a good card to pull on him...I have the Santa card in my pocket...Yes, Christmas isn't far away, and he thinks Santa can see all the crap he does...I'll be abusing that card for a month...His Christmas List has a Puppy and a Baby on it...NO and NO! My daughter would like a private jet so she can fly to Hollywood, and France...She's already discovered Johnny Depp...God help me! My wife wasn't happy when I tried to explain to her, that Johnny Depp is a Communist...It's gonna be a long Holiday season...
That's right folks...The Beezewax is a year old tonight...One year ago tonight I started this blog...I was writing at Sporting News, but wanted to be able to post on other topics besides sports...And not have to hear people b!tching and whinning about it...Too much of that crap goes on there...For quality sports blogs, unfiltered...Stop by the Gab...http://yougabsports.com/
So over the last year, I've posted just over 200 blogs about all kinds of stuff...just doing my best to get the voices out of my head...I want to thank everyone who stops by to read this crap...And please keep coming by...I desperately need others approval to feel better about myself...Ha!
There was a post I did titled, "Woman." It still gets views every day...That's f**king cool! But my installments, of The Beeze's Skull F**k Awards, always seems to draw a number of people...And since it's been awhile since I've officially skull f**ked anyone...I thought, 'What better way is there to celebrate the birth of the BEEZEWAX!'
So here I am...Pants unzipped, and ready to plow!
I'll start with my beloved Notre Dame Fighting Irish...Co-Defensive Cordinator, and all around f**king dolt, Corwin Brown...This ass hat decided to take shots at the head coach of NAVY...After his sorry ass defense couldn't stop Navy's running game...As a matter of fact, the only team, the Irish defense dominated all season was Washington State...No offense to WSU, but there are high school teams that could stuff them...Here's what this douche said...
He just called out Navy's lack of imagination on offense...Hey, a$$hole...They don't need to be creative to run all over your sorry ass defense...And no coach Tenuta doesn't do a great job getting you and the team ready on defense...Your defense sucks...It hurts, as a Notre Dame fan to do this...But Corwin, this is gonna hurt you, more then it hurts me...Time for you to eat a d!ck...
Next is Browns running back Jamal Lewis...This b!tch decides he's gonna come out and dog the coach, saying he works the players too hard...I'm no Eric Mangini fan, but maybe he's working you f**kers so hard, because you suck! Here's Jamal's comments...
“The way we work in two-a-days in training camp and the way we work every day on the field for two and a half, three hours, you want a ‘W’ on Sunday when you work like that,” Lewis said. “There’s talent all over this locker room, young and old, but the talent has to be ready on Sunday and to be fresh for Sunday and be efficient on Sunday."
“You can work as hard as you want. You can work all day seven days a week all the way up until Sunday in practice. At the same time, if you’re going to work like that, maybe on Sunday you’re not going to get what you want out of your players.”
First, F**K YOU B!TCH....Second, where the hell is this talent that you speak of...The best player on the team is Josh Cribbs...A special teams guy, who's trying to be a #2 receiver because the team doesn't have anyone else...Talent...Please...Worked too hard...You f**kers clearly don't work hard enough...
Lewis is retiriing at the end of the year...Why wait...Why don't you retire now, with a big, fat, load of the Beeze in your eye!
Next up...Carrie Prejean...Miss California 2009...This b!tch, may be attractive, but she's a total C*NT...yeah, I said it...She's been involved with some scandals...And she likes to walk around witha holier than thou attitude...Listen twat, you were a beauty queen...You recorded yourself masturbating for a boyfriend when you were 17...You act like it was a bad thing, and now you're little miss conservative beauty queen...You double clicking the mouse and filming it may have been the best thing you'll ever do in this life...
But that isn't the end of the story...Watch how this gash acted on Larry King....
First, I hate Larry King...But he did nothing wrong...Second, when she was getting ready to leave, Larry says, "Did you hear the question?" Dummy responds, "No, I can't hear you." What a dope! Third, you're on an interview show to pimp your book...The only reason you got a book deal and are getting interviewed, is because of the contravesies around you...Fourth, the book is called "Still Standing." I'm sure it's full of nothing but the incredible wisdom you've found in your 22 years of being nothing but a little, phony, Barbie Doll, whore...Drop and gobble b!tch...The book should be called, On My BAck Again!
Believe me gang...This little hachet wound is getting more then a Skull F**k frome the Beeze...
That's all for tonight..But it did get heated, and this is a celebration...So lets end this with a little class....
Once again, I must defend Taylor Swift...Well, not so much defend her...More like call out another dolt, for being a giant bag of douche!
Yeah, I'm talking about you, fatty, Wynonna Judd...If you don't know, fatty Judd was all pissy about Taylor Swift winning "Entertainer of the Year" at the CMA's last night...Actually from what I've been reading, she's been JEALOUS of Swift's success for some time before this...Yes fatty, I said JEALOUS...Apparently Fatty said, ""You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon." I'm sure Wynonna...I mean Fatty, doesn't like seeing some one so young rising to the top...Especially since it took her much longer...
Listen, I'm not a country music fan...I can't stand it...I also can't stand stupid, f**king, fat pigs, who can't stand to see some one else be successful...
I know Taylor Swift isn't gonna be all, 'Mr. Beeze, you mid-30's, out of shape, married with two kids, blogging piece of deliciousness, thank you for calling Kayne West a douche...And thank you for bashing Fatty Judd, after she dissed me...Is there anything I can do for you?'
First, Yes there is!!!!
Second, I'm still gonna stickup for the girl...What the hell did she do...Let some group of Nashville suits give her some awards...The music business can be evil...And country music has started doing what pop music has been doing for years...Find the young, hot talent, and pump out a ton of stuff, until they're all used up...If Fatty wants to bitch, don't dog Swift...Dog the system...
What this comes down to is Fatty Judd, is jealous of the young, attractive, talented, up and coming stars...She misses being young...She was never attractive...And I couldn't tell you if she was ever talented...I never listened to her and Chunky Judd's (her mother Naomi) crap...
Yep, I just dragged mom into it...Why? Because apparently she likes to treat young, talented, singers like crap too...According to the twins singers, Kate and Kacey, who were on CMT's "Can You Duet, Naomi Judd, who was one of the judges was such a pain in the ass to the sisters...They wrote a song about her called "You're Not My Judge."
Listen, in my opinion, the system sucks...The music business has become crap...It's been heading there a long time...Fatty and Chunky Judd have seen this...They should be trying to offer support and guidance to these young stars...To help them have some staying power...Because until I heard, and read about this...I had no idea these slobs were still alive!
If you know me, and this blog, you know I'm a fan of the Opie & Anthony show...I'm also a fan of honesty...Even if it's brutal...Their show has been getting some notice for something that happened last week...But I thought I'd share it here, in case you don't have Satellite Radio...
Last week Sharon Osbourne stopped by the show...During her time there, she ripped on many people...She was funny as hell...One of those people was Susan Boyle...You know, the fat, ugly, British woman, who "shocked" millions with her incredible singing voice...We'll get back to the "shocked in a minute...First, here's what Sharon Osbourne said....
So after this, all the beautiful people on the entertainment news shows, are attacking Sharon...You know the shows..."Showbiz Tonight" and "Access Hollywood" and all those crap shows...Those shows, that would never have anyone who looked like Susan Boyle be a host...Why? Because she's ugly...Only good looking people aloud on those shows...
But here they are slamming Sharon Osbourne for being funny, on a comedy show...Was it harsh...Yes...But these talking heads that are blasting her...What do they do...Every day, they sling gossip...Who's f**king who...How did Kristy Alley get so fat again...50% of those shows are celebrities getting their personal lives dragged through the mud...The other 50% is mindless drivel about celebrities...So how is what Sharon did any worse...F**k those dolts!
Now, back to the "shocked." Does anyone remember when we first learned about Susan Boyle...It was on Britain's Got Talent...She came out on stage, and was laughed at...People rolled their eyes...Why? Because she was unattractive...And as people, we often judge the book by it's cover...That's why there aren't ugly people hosting "Access Hollywood" and "Showbiz Tonight."
The producers of the show knew what they had...They knew she could sing like a mother f**ker...They knew people would get one look at her and be like, 'b!tch please.' Just to turn around and be shocked, and go crazy for this mess on stage that sang so beautifully...
-
Pot, meet Kettle...
-
Osbourne may have been harsh...But at least she was two other things...Funny, and Honest...
This seems to be what I find everywhere...But if you checkout a live video...It doesn't sound anything like that...But who cares...Mike McCready rips it on the Guitar!
Let me start this week by saying, Sundays are so much better when the Cleveland Browns don't play...That being said, Sunday had it's ups and downs...UP...My world famous Chicken Chili...DOWN...Little Beeze being sick...Maybe it's his turn to beat down the pig humper flu...UP...Patriots win! DOWN...Taking sh!t all day about Notre Dame losing to Navy again...
Or you can checkout WeeManExtras take on the game...
Now lets move onto a topic that I normally would get involved in...Soccer...Womens College Soccer actually...I'm not a soccer fan...I don't follow it at any level, and I just don't care...I'd rather watch Gummy Bears f**k! That said...If more soccer was played like this psycho b!tch plays it...I may start paying attention...
Stay Classy New Mexico!
Next up, more College Football...Notre Dame weren't the only ones to sh!t the bed this week...Oregon lost to Stanford...Typical PAC-10...Whenever a team in that conference looks like they've got the upper hand...They lose! Iowa lost to Northwestern...Penn State lost to Ohio State...Typical Big Ten...A whole conference full of average teams...
TCU, Cincinnati, and Boise State are all still hanging around...Waiting to f**k with the BCS!
I love college football...I prefer it over the NFL...I'll say again, what many of us have said before...There needs to be a playoff...I hope things get so screwed up this year, that maybe...Just maybe...There will be enough of an uproar to do something about it...
Baseball season is done...Thank God! The stupid Yankees won the World Series in a battle of the lesser of two evils...And the most evil f**kers won...If you're wondering what my beef is with Philly...Well, You clearly haven't read all my blogs...So I'll sum it up...That city, that calls itself "The City of Brotherly Love," is full of a bunch a$$holes...They sh!t on their teams constantly...They sh!t on the greats from their town...They give more praise to Rocky, then they do Joe Frazier...They're dolts...But yet, I was pulling for them over the evil empire...Why? Because I was born hating the Yankees...That's just the way it is...I hate them more then I hate Paris Hilton...And I really hate that b!tch...But at least she made a porn!
Moving on...You ever have some one ask you a really stupid question...You know, those silly games...'If you were a tree, what type of tree would you be?' That sh!t...It's just stupid...Unless one of your kids ask you something like that...Then you gotta go along with it...Right?
This weekend, my boy asked me what type of animal would I want to be...My answer...This snake!
Of course that's not what I actually told him...And no I didn't tell him I wanted to be a purple headed yogurt slinger...Already am! I with being a hawk or an eagle..."Why that," he says in his inquisitive voice...So I could fly all over the place, and see whatever I want...And swoop down and snack a fish right out of the water...Then die from mercury poisoning...
He plans on being a mix between a Stegosaurus, and a T-Rex...That can drive a train...That'll be a one hell of a train...But I gotta say, I love his imagination...I miss being that creative...All I can muster up is a snake wrapped around Rachel Weisz...Not that being wrapped around Rachel Weisz would be a bad thing...Maybe get Isla Fisher in there tossing my salad...Okay, my imagination isn't that bad...Now I gotta run and finish that thought elsewhere...
But first, lets end with some music...My buddy B-Dub is a big Pearl Jam fan...And a Panthers fan...He's having a rough season...So this is for him...I thought it was cool...Even if the sign language chick seems to be a show off!
Yes, Mrs. Beeze, myself, and our friends May and Bryan stopped by the bistro last Friday for dinner...This was the second time for the Mrs. and I...The first time was great, and I hoped for the same this trip...Especially the end of the night...
Well, I'm gonna go a little Tarantino on ya, and skip to the end...Sadly, there was no road head...Bryan was driving the four of us...The girls who had split two bottles of wine were in the back...May, was ready for a nap...And well, I wasn't going down on Bryan...
Then we got home, paid the baby sitter, and rounded up Bryan and May's little girl...Then found out, our daughter was still awake...Sex was off the table now...If you missed it at the Beezewax a couple weeks ago, we woke up our daughter with one of our sessions...And by woke up, I mean scared the sh!t out of her...So the wife put me on lock-down...
So let's move onto the food...I started with the Autumn Bisque..."Puree of Butternut Squash, Sauteed Wild Mushrooms & Creme Fraiche" It was awesome! The Mrs. started with the Crab Cake...Without a doubt the best crab cake I have ever had...A friend compared ours at the Fish House to it, simply by saying The bistro's made ours look like dog food...He was right...This was the meatiest crab cake ever...Not a bunch of filler...Great!
May and Bryan ordered the Froie Gras...May had asked our server what it was like...She replied with, "It's deliciousness in your mouth." When may took her first bite, she said, "This is the best thing that's ever been in my mouth!" Sorry Bryan...She passed it around and it was amazing!
The next course Bryan and I both had the Bistro Salad..."Butter Lettuce, Indian Black Onion Seed Vinaigrette, Sunflower Seeds, 24 Hour Tomatoes, Watermelon Radish, Candy Onions." I loved it...I love butter lettuce, and the Vinaigrette was great...Very light and refreshing...May had Mushroom Bisque, which she passed around to all of us...Best Mshroom soup, I've had...And I make a pretty damn good one myself...
At this point I should tell you about May's order...It wa sthe evening before Halloween...They had a special "Treat" menu...3 Courses for $35...They also had a "Trick" menu...This was left up to Chef Pete Joyce...You got what he gave you...
Entree time...The wife and I both got a 16 ounce, French-cut, bone-in, ribeye (or cowboy steak)...served with house made Frites, that was on special...The steak was cooked perfectly...The frites are awesome...If you're at the Bistro and they don't have this on special, check out the Steak and Frites...It's a Hanger Steak with the frites, and it' so tender and delicious...Like a....Never mind...
Bryan got the Great Lakes Walleye..."Pan Roasted, Fingerling Potatoes, Smoked Bacon-Apple Hash & Sherry Beurre Blanc." He polished this off quickly, and was left wanting more...He felt the portion could have been bigger, but enjoyed it very much...
That brings us back to May...Her entree was Turkey, Brussel Sprouts and I forget the rest...It was at this point m wife felt bad...You see, May doesn't like turkey...But this turkey was different...It seemed like it was done the way you would do a nice piece of veal, for a Piccata or Marsala...It was topped with an apple cream sauce...And honestly, you could put the sauce on anything...It was great...She did it some, and enjoyed the flavors...
For dessert I had the Bistro Chocolate Cake..."handcrafted chocolate cake, whipped buttercream,fresh berries & warm chocolate ganache." WOW! A really good meal ends when most people are full...Not me...For me it ends when I hate myself...This dessert took me to that point...
The wife had the Pumpkin Cheesecake...Loved it...Bryan had the home made vanilla ice cream...And May had the Country Pear Tart..."Bosc pears, almond frangipane & honey almond ice cream."
The food was great again...The Atmosphere was great...Warm and inviting...The staff went out of their way to make sure we were happy...
In Cleveland, We're always hearing and reading about Michael Symon...Not to be a d!ck, but he ain't the only game in town...If you're looking to spend an evening out, enjoying good food, drinks, and company...Stop by the Bistro on Lincoln Park... http://www.bistroonlincolnpark.com/
This may upset some people, but when has that ever stopped me...There has been something that has bothered me for awhile...But this week, I guess it's boiling over...This week we got to see the USS New York...It's a battleship partly built with steel from The World Trade Center...http://www.ussnewyork.com/ -
I'm not mad about this...I think it's really cool...Way to show our American ingenuity...I'm pissed because, at Ground Zero...Well, there's still a giant hole in the ground...It's taken too long to figure out what's going to be built...It seems the typical, political bullsh!t has the city dragging it's feet...
Yet somehow, this year both the New York Yankees and the New York Mets opened new baseball stadiums in New York...I see...'The Yankees need land on the cheap for a new stadium...Do whatever it takes! Get George his new Stadium...No holdups!' ...'What? The Mets want to build a new Stadium too? Oh, Alright...Make sure it gets taken care of!'
I remember after September 11th all the talk about going on with our lives...Don't stop traveling...Don't stop spending...Keep doing what we do...Don't let them win...So new stadiums may fall in that category of keep on keepin' on...But when I see that hole in the ground, and the fact that there doesn't seem to be a real plan of what to do there...I kinda think, well maybe they won a little...Oh, that and we still haven't caught the c**k sucker responsible for the attacks...
Am I wrong? Maybe...Maybe not...Does it bother anyone else that the powers that be have been dragging their feet on what to do at ground zero?
Personally, I think the best thing that could have been done at ground zero...They should have built the tallest building in the world...Shaped like a c*ck!
That's right...I said it...Technology has it's good points and it's bad points...I have to say that You Tube and other sites like it, are awesome...You can find almost any type of video you want...But if you're looking for porn, I suggest Pornhub, or XNXX...
I waste at least a hour a day checking out stuff on You Tube...Hell, I've watched whole movies there...So today, I thought I'd share some of that great stuff you can find...
Let's start with my favorite bartender...
This guy is awesome!
There's a sh!t load of these videos, and they all make me laugh...
Then you can get some quality Radio, and put it to some cheap animation...And have a good laugh...
Then you can always find some good stand up comedy...
Then there's the stupid people...God bless them!
Then there's this totally disgusting stuff...
Of course you can can always find some music...
Including cool moments from your favorite band last time they were in town...
I mentioned stupid people right...God I love watching people f**k themselves up....
My son thinks I should close with some Family Guy...
The little Beeze really wants to close strong with some Peanut Butter Jelly...
Here we are again...Another weekend has blown past us, and here comes a steaming pile of Monday right in the face...
It was a pretty good week in the Beeze's world...I realized no matter how much time I spend blogging, or writing my book, which will be a bestseller, or f**king around on facebook...I'm still not the guy that spends too much time on his Halloween yard decorations...But I found the king...He's right here in Cleveland, about 3 minutes from my house...He built these himself...
Optimus Prime took him 6 months, and Bumble Bee took 4...Too much time on your hands dude! Don't get me wrong, they look cool and the detail is amazing...But I'd rather spend that time f**king!
Thursday night Our Lady Peace rolled into Ohio for the third time on this tour...This time in Columbus...And again they put on a great show...The set was mostly the same with a few different songs mixed in...
And again Steve Mazur on Guitar was awesome....
Friday night, Mrs. Beeze, myself, and our friends Bryan and May went out to dinner at a great local restaurant...The Bistro on Lincoln Park...We've been there before, and I gave them a great review...Well, they didn't disappoint this time either...The food was awesome...The latest review will be up by Tuesday...
Saturday Morning was spent at the Fish House...The it was time for Halloween madness...Kids, candy, and beer...How can you pass out candy without beer?
My brother and his family came over for trick or treat...Then it was time for him and me to give people sh!t...If you costume is sketchy...We're grilling ya...The teenagers don't like how we pounce all over their not so much of a costume...One girl just broke off the old..."It's for my sick Cousin." Her boyfriend laughed, and they were sent on their way with no candy...Hey, the economy is f**ked, I'm not giving candy to every loser with no costume...At least give us a good story...
Then there was the kid dressed like Michael Jackson...Fine...whatever...But then him and his posse came back and tried to double dip...I'm not letting that happen unless I get to make you look like a dolt...So I said, "You're Michael Jackson? Then dance!" This little sh!t didn't miss a beat...He was breaking off all the old school moves...We send them off with some candy...About 20 minutes later, almost time for lights out, and these punks comeback again...So I tell them all to dance...There they were...6 kids breaking it down on my front lawn...They got hooked up...
Then there were these two freaks...About 16 years old, and living in there fantasy world...My brother asks "What the hell are you?" These dork goes into this whole f**king speech...They were based off of some game...Like the new version of D&D...Whatever...The kid closes with, "I stay immortal, by killing." Can't wait to see this psycho on the news! So when these two came back for seconds I was feeling good...(Good=Buzzed) I just let out a, "Get the hell out of here before I stick that fake sword up your ass!"
Instead of candy, I should have given them money for a hooker!
Then it was time to kickback...Well as much as you can with noisy kids all hopped up on sugar...And watch Notre Dame put a beating on Washington State... http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/ That was nice to see...
Sunday, I had to do a short tour of duty at the Fish House...Thank God! It saved me the pain and suffering of having to watch the Browns get the sh!t kicked out of them by the Bears...The Patriots had their bye this week...So I had nothing to balance out my rage...I did get to see soem of the much hyped, Packers and Vikings game...Have I ever told you I hate Brett Favre...I was really hoping to see that guy get his arm and leg broken in this game! No such luck...And the Viking are looking strong...
In the latest news about the little Beeze...Not much has changed...Except his need to put his hands down his pants has increased...He's really working that thing...Honestly in the time I spent with him on Sunday, he only spent about an hour total, without at least one hand down there...I got a feeling I'll be hearing from his teacher this week...
Oh...F**k the Yankees! That just needed to be said...
Now, I'll end with a laugh...Well, I laughed at least...But I am twisted!
Nice tea cup Grady! Just so the females out there know...I'd have to use the whole 12 cup coffee pot to cover up my gear...Ask Mrs. Beeze...Daddy's got a big yam bag to go with his hog! 
(thanks EK)
Look, right here...He's saying, ' You throw another interception, the only salad you'll see me toss is yours!'
That said...If more soccer was played like this psycho b!tch plays it...I may start paying attention...
Optimus Prime took him 6 months, and Bumble Bee took 4...Too much time on your hands dude! Don't get me wrong, they look cool and the detail is amazing...But I'd rather spend that time f**king! 
