Sunday, October 31, 2010

Monday Moaning


At some point Halloween went from kids dressing up in costumes and pestering people for candy, to those two pieces of delicious candy up above...Don't get me wrong, I've always hated Halloween, but those two gals up there, have me agreeing with these two down below...ALL ABOARD!


Suddenly, I'm hearing STYX...'Cum sail away, cum sail away, cum sail away on me!' Oh, those aren't the lyrics...


Yes ladies, you smile, and I'll dream!

So, Sunday was Halloween...Nothing like getting the kids all sugared up on a Sunday night...I'm trying to watch the end of the Patriots game, which included Brett Favre leaving the game looking like this...


Such a wonderful image!

Then somehow, I'm suppose to get these kids to bed, so they get plenty of sleep before school tomorrow...But they're all hopped up on sugar and excitement...Oh, and little Beeze has quite the big ego going...He was a Shark this year...It's a pretty cool costume...He was the hit of the school Halloween parade last week, and people were just raving to him while he was out begging for candy...I also got a number of compliments on my Shark pumpkin...But he took credit for it, because he told me to carve a Shark pumpkin...Little prick!

So in sports this weekend, the Fighting Irish lost to Tulsa...But that was the least of their concerns...It was
A_BAD_WEEK_IN_SOUTH_BEND...

Then of course there is the whole BCS race...Last week Auburn jumped to the top of the BCS standings...Suddenly, Oregon jumped to #1 this week...Now I thought Oregon should have been there last week, but I just don't get this jumping up and down shit...Both teams lit up their opponent this week...Auburn beat Ole Miss 51-31...Oregon beat USC 53-32...It's fucking madness...

But my hope of Boise State or even TCU getting a shot at the title, got a little more help this week...Undefeated Michigan State got destroyed 37--6 at Iowa, and unbeaten Missouri got pounded 31-17 by Nebraska...

In the "World Series" the San Francisco Giants have a 3 games to 1 lead over the Texas Rangers...Just in case you were wondering...I haven't paid attention...I had to look it up...

The Browns didn't play this week, which gave Kent read, Kent write, Kent State the chance to honor Josh Cribbs...They retired his #9...Here's some numbers on just how good he was there...7169 passing yards with 45 touchdowns...3763 rushing yards, with 41 touchdowns...Pretty damn good...At the ceremony, Cribbs gave something back...He gave the University $100,000 which was equal to his scholarship for 4 years...

Saturday night, the annual "Holy War" took place...


My Alma Mater, St. Edward, gave rival St. Ignatius a much deserved 33-10 beating, completing a perfect 10-0 regular season...Onto the playoffs, and hopefully a State Title...



Let's move onto the gossip scene...I figure since I saw this shit standing in line at the grocery store, why not throw it in...

So Charlie Sheen was suppose to pay this gal (Capri Anderson) $12,000 for an evening...


But apparently it spun out of control when he got coked up and freaked out...She ended up being found by the police, naked, locked in the bathroom...I wonder if she'll be seeking legal counsel for her lost wages...

Then I saw Justin Timberlake cheated on Jessica Biel...



Hmmmm...

With Olivia Munn



I'll just say, way to go! Hey, he ran up in both of them...And I'd take Munn over Biel...And if I was him, I'd keep playing the field as long as I could...

That's it for now...

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

A Bad Week in South Bend


And I'm not just talking about Notre Dame losing 28-27 to Tulsa...Earlier in the week, Notre Dame student, Declan Sullivan died when he was filming football practice...He was up above one of the practice fields in a lift...Wednesday had some serious wind whipping through Illinois, Indiana, Michigan and Ohio...Suddenly, after a large gust of wind, the lift was on the ground, and Sullivan was near death...By the time he arrived at the hospital, he was gone...

Right away, the blame game was being played...Normally I enjoy what Jason Whitlock writes, but I had a bit of problem with
THIS one...

Whitlock wants Notre Dame to fire head coach Brian Kelly...Right away I was thinking, here we go again...ND haters, looking at this tragedy as a way to take their shots...Notre Dame is one of those places...People like me love it...And other people hate it...Just as I wouldn't mind seeing USC burn to the ground...

But then I read the article...At first I thought, maybe he has a good point...Then I thought more...Sullivan dealt directly with the video coordinator, so he should take some of this blame...Sullivan had also tweeted about how windy, and scary it was...If I'm in that position, I'm coming down...The authorities, the University, and OSHA are investigating the accident...

Saturday, Kelly told the media he had thought and decided they could have a "productive and safe practice."
HERE are his full comments...

Many of the traditional football weekend activities were cancelled, but the game was played...A nice touch by the Tulsa team, they also had the "DS" shamrock decal on their helmets...

So now to the game...I was worried early, when QB Dayne Crist was knocked out of the game with a season ending knee injury, in the first quarter...The first reports are that it is a ruptured Patella Tendon...It was bad enough that TE Kyle Rudolph was already out...Armando Allen was also out with a hip flexor...And may also be out of commission for the season...Crist's other safety valve, Theo Riddick was out with an ankle injury...So in walks freshman QB Tommy Rees, minus a number of key weapons...

So the kid comes in cold, and throws the ball 54 times...He completed 33 of those for 334 yards...He also connected for 4 Touchdowns...But with the good, comes the bad...He also threw 3 interceptions...The third one being the worst...But I'm willing to put some of the blame on Kelly...Hell, now I'm ready to fire him...

With 36 seconds left in the game...The Irish were down 28-27...They were well within Kicker David Ruffer's range...So Kelly calls a pass the corner of the end zone...Rees puts it to doubled covered, WR, Michael Floyd...INTERCEPTION...GAME OVER!

Why the hell didn't you run the ball...Run the ball, get it where the kicker likes it...Kick the field goal, and win the game...Why is that so hard!?!

Yes, the Irish losing on a dipshit play call really means little when you consider a young man lost his life in what was probably a preventable accident...Hell it means little compared to a lot of things...Nonetheless, it pissed me off, and I wrote about it...This is what I do...I also taught my 6 year old son to call Brain Kelly, a fuck-tard, dipshit...Mrs. Beeze was not happy...

Now go hug your kids...




Later, The Beeze.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits


Yes folks, this week in the Hump Day Hits, we're going to talk about Jenn Sterger...Sadly, we will also have to mention Brett Favre..But Not too much...The inspiration for this week's Hits...THIS article from the New York Daily News...I don't care if you read it or not...There was a part in there that got me fired up...Her manager had this to say...

"Her life's been turned upside down by this. Her dad was in town and had to see his daughter on the front page of (a tabloid) two days in a row. She's having a really tough time dealing with this. She's lost nine pounds. She was already in model shape before, so it's not good if those nine pounds just go missing. She's doing her best to try to stay focused on work and being a 26-year-old woman. But at the same time, it's obviously very difficult when there's paparazzi camped outside your home and TMZ is calling your house."

Okay, let me pick this horse shit apart...1. She tells some one at DEADSPIN about Favre calling her and texting her when he was with the Jets...They dig into it, and magically get voice mails and picture messages of his cock...No one else would have those except her...She gave up the goods, and I'm sure made a pretty penny from it...So fuck off!

2. Her dad saw her on the cover of tabloids...Heavens no! His poor little girl...His poor little girl who posed in "Playboy" and has picture like this all over the net...



Sorry, but Jenn and daddy will get no sympathy from me when I can find pictures of Jenn all over, and most of them are of her looking sexy, slutty, sultry, and any other word that equals, making guys horny! Again, fuck off!

3. I don't care that she lost 9 pounds...Eat some steak and potatoes bitch!

4. She's doing her best to stay focused on work, and being a 26 year old woman...Ummm, I've watched the shitty show she's on...It can't be that hard to stay focused on that drivel...And focusing on being a 26 year old woman...What the fuck does that mean? Focus on being a cum dumpster...Oh, and fuck off!

5. Paparazzi and TMZ! Why would this surprise you...You outed Brett Favre for being a limp dicked douchebag...What did you expect would happen next? And when did cameras start bothering you...If it wasn't for cameras, you wouldn't have a career! A camera man noticed you tits at a football game...Then you started posing for every camera you saw...Then you got on gig TV...Now you don't like the limelight? You made your bed, now roll around in it with you clothes off! again I say, FUCK OFF!

I don't feel bad for Jenn Sterger, and there's no reason to...There's no doubt in my mind that she is going to collect some more scratch from Favre...I don't feel bad for her daddy...If he a problem with his daughter being on the cover of tabloids, he should have told her to stop dressing like that and posing for cameras a long time ago...I don't feel bad for any of these dolts involved...Fuck Favre too...I could maybe feel bad for his wife, but if she didn't know he was a dolt by no, then tough shit for her too...


On a side note, LeBron James and the Miami Heat lost to the Boston Celtics Tuesday night...I normally don't care about basketball, but this made me smile a great deal...Yes, LeBron can fuck off too!


Now to the important part of the show...This week we're gong to look at some stockings...'Cause as Reverend Billy said, "I'm a fool for your stockings."




So on this Hump Day which pair of stockings would you like to get between?


A.




B.




C.




As always, Read and Respond...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday, October 25, 2010

LeBron James is an @$$hole!

Holy Shit Batman! The Beeze is posting a blog about basketball...Only one asshole can make that happen...The self appointed King has made a new NIKE commercial and his PR team is still all about being stupid...

Dogging Cleveland one more time, and smacking any and everyone who thinks you've been a dolt...Way to "Rise"...Feel free to keep being douchebag...I hope the "King" blows out both of his knees in the first game...Hell, I wouldn't mind if he got hit by a bus...

Now for your viewing pleasure...."RISE"




What a cunt!

Later, The Beeze

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Monday Moaning


The World Series match up is set, and FOX can't be happy....Wait is that Steers and Queers, or Queers on Steers?



Okay, Texas and San Francisco, don't get your chaps in a bunch...The Beeze is just having some fun...The World Series starts Wednesday...Most likely I won't be paying much attention, just as I haven't paid much attention to the entire Baseball season...But I'll make a prediction...The Giants in 6 games...

So once again, I avoided watching the Browns...This time not really by choice...The wife wanted us to head to Erie PA, to go to
Mason_Farms

Every year we take the kids there to get pumpkins, and run through the corn maze, and play on the pump up shit, and all that crazy kid shit...Oh, and of course to spend some quality time with the in-laws...I'm still trying to get rid of the headache I got from my father-in-law's non-stop talking...

So then I notice the Browns were beating the Saints...On the drive home I heard the end...The Browns won 30-17...30-17 against the Saints...WOW! An even bigger WOW is, how they did it...DEFENSE! They picked-off Brees 4 times...2 by David Bowens, both returned for Touchdowns...Special Teams also got into the act, with some gadget plays, including a fake punt deep in their own end...Checkout the highlights...



I have to be honest...I'm glad they won, but driving home and listening to Browns fans getting all excited about this, kinda made me sick...Just last week, and well all season, these people were ripping Mangina, and wanting his ass fired...Now him and his coaching staff are awesome...Hey, they did a great job...But Browns, remember how much you hated this guy last week...Last year...And don't get all excited...It's one win...Calm the fuck down and stop calling sports talk radio shows and going crazy about how the Browns are turning around...They're still a few years away from being legit...

NEXT...While I was at work Saturday, before my trek to Erie...The Fighting Irish were losing to NAVY for the third time in four years...No offense to NAVY, but I'm sick of this shit...Listen Notre Dame coaches, past, present, and future...NAVY is not going to surprise you with their offense...They are going to run that option up your ass...Play a 4-4 defense, and contain...If they beat you with the pass, good for them...STOP THE FUCKING RUN!!! In case you were wondering, the Irish gave up 367yards on the ground...I'm so happy I didn't watch it, or DVR it...I'm moving on, because I'm just getting pissed...

In other College Football news, Oklahoma lost Saturday night to Missouri...I guess if you're ranked #1, you don't want to play in prime-time...The latest BCS poll has come out, and somehow, Auburn jumped over Oregon to the #1 spot...Hey, Auburn is good, but how the hell does that happen when Oregon just keeps destroying people...In the AP poll Oregon is #1 with Boise State #2 and Auburn #3...Each week this keeps getting more interesting...Who will be the next big boy to fall?

Hockey season is going strong now, and Saturday night had a classic Original Six match up between the Rangers and Bruins, and the gloves were coming off...






Rangers and Bruins means some quality shit talking between me and my pal Sully...Luckily I came out on top in this first match up, winning 3-2...They followed that up with a 3-1 win over the Devils Sunday...They're starting to heat up!

I was just watching the Packers and Vikings game...The Packers won 28-24, and Favre looked like shit again...After the game, the media was hovering all over Favre...Then in Packers' coach, Mike McCarthy's post game press conference, he noticed there were hardly any reporters in the room...He asked, Where everyone was, stating that they had just won the game...Well, I guess people just care about Brett Favre and his little cock more...And the way the cameras were following Favre, and with how bad he played, and the fact that so many players were coming up to him afterwards, as he took a long walk to the locker room, of course he was limping...I was expecting him to retire right there...Sadly, it didn't happen...Sorry Vikings fans...I guess you get him another week!

That's all for now...Keeping on Moaning!





Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just Another Reason to be Sick of the Government...


And Hippies! Let me start by apologizing to my animal loving, and tree hugging friends...I love you all, and I admire your conviction...But with that out of the way, I have to get this off my chest...

I heard a story via big, fat, Rush Limbaugh...I can't stand the guy, but sometimes on turn him or Glenn Beck, just to see what kind of bullshit they are spewing...Eventually I get sick and turn them off...I do the same with MSNBC, wind-bag Keith Olbermann...These three are always good for material...So anyways, Fatty Limbaugh blurted out a story on a government study about Sea Otters in Alaska, and the #1 reason for their decline in population was, Killer Whales...

NO SHIT! The 6 year old Little Beeze knew that...Hell we've watched videos on YouTube of Killer Whales eating Sea Otters and Seals...How is anyone shocked by this? But there's more...There is also a proposal for a $15 million dollar recovery plan for the Sea Otters...

This bothered me, because I get sick of Republicans talking about Democrats always wanting "Big Government" to have more power...This as some Conservative, Republican, douchebag is fingering a boy's asshole, while he says gay people shouldn't be allowed to get married...Well maybe both parties want government to have too much power...As a matter of fact, they do have too much power...

Back to the fucking Otters...So I started researching this story...It's true...Son of a bitch, Big, Fat, Rush wasn't lying...Hell I found the story on MSNBC, Fox, CBS, and CNN's websites...I also looked up the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service website...

Listen folks, this may upset some people, but when has that stopped me before? I'm not an animal lover, so I don't give a shit! Last time I looked, the guy with the knives, and tongs, and grill was the mother fucker at the top of the food chain...Bring me a Sea Otter at The Fish House, and make that little fella taste delicious!

But beyond my cooking skills, and my belief in the Food Chain...I don't want my tax dollars saving animals...You know what is going to happen when the Sea Otter population recovers, and our $15 million dollars are gone? The Whales are going to eat them again! Oh, and by the way, if you protect the Sea Otters, what are the Whales going to eat?

You know who's fault all this is? You damn "Save the Whales" people! Because of you saving Whales, now the Sea Otters are suffering...And now the "Save the Sea Otters" people want to take more of our hard earned money...By now, I'm sure you know how I feel about this...Screw the Sea Otters...Swim faster dummies!

Do we need a little "Lion King" sing-a-long? Remember "The Circle of Life"...Part of the circle is death...Tomorrow's special at The Fish House...Roasted Sea Otter, with Sweet Potato Puree, Swiss Chard, and a Mustard Cream Sauce...

Now I'm going to see if I can spot any Whale Tails...










Later, The Beeze.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Some More People Who Needs a Skull F**K!


If you missed it, last night there was a bit of a skirmish in the Vancouver Canucks, Minnesota Wild game...But there was one player who got way out of hand...Rick Rypien from the Canucks...This guy has made quite a name for himself in the fighting aspect of the game...He's not the biggest, but he doesn't back down from any challenge...Too bad he took the challenge to the wrong people last night...

It was bad enough that he shoved a ref...I'm sure he was going to get a fine for that...But then, as he was sent to the dressing room, a Minnesota Wild fan clapped and showed his appreciation to Rypien...Then Rypien went after him...



Now that fan did nothing wrong...He clapped, and he may have talked some shit...But if your a pro athlete, you should be use to the opposing teams fans talking shit...Now the video showed the fans being taken out...Well once the staff saw the fan did nothing wrong, they were put in new front row seats...I'm glad the Wild know how to handle things...Too bad the Canucks don't...

After the game Vancouver center, Manny Malhotra defended his teammate saying this...

"The fan got a little bit too involved and there's just no place for that in the game," He went on to say, "There are boundaries that should never be crossed. We are in our area of work and we are all for the hooting and hollering and supporting your team and saying whatever is tasteful out there. But as soon as you cross that line and want to become physical with a player, we have to make sure we take care of ourselves and are protected."

You know, I use to like Manny when he played for Columbus Blue Jackets...But now, Manny can go fuck himself...The fan didn't try to "become physical", he clapped...Your boy Rypien was the one who wanted to get physical, with anyone it seemed...

So, to Rick Rypien, and Manny Malhotra, I give both the Beeze's illustrious Skull Fuck!

A close runner up is Ohio State QB Terrelle Pryor who tweeted this at 1:43 Am after losing to Wisconsin...

"Is what it is. Thanks to the real fans. And to the haterz you won today!! See if that happens again. To the haterz you bums ever held a FB"

Hey Terrelle, just because we didn't play Big-Ten football, doesn't mean we've never held one in our hands...You sound stupid! Go figure a stupid football player at Ohio State...And people were hating on you and the Suckeyes, because YOU and your team have been overrated...So we'll continue to win! By the way...You're so cool, and so hood, because you spell haters with a Z instead of a S...Or maybe you're just stupid...Either way, eat a dick!

Later The Beeze

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits


Ahhh, the Hump Day Hits...Well other than T&A the main topic is going to be hits...The hits to the head that have been taking place in the NFL...I held back from this topic Monday, because I wanted to see how the NFL reacted, and I wanted to see how the talking head reacted...I also wanted to step back myself, because there were a couple that really pissed me off Sunday, and those hits have gotten little attention...

I don't know what has happened...When I was growing up, we were taught to tackle guys around the waist area...But more and more players are going high...But even worse is that they are leading with their helmets...I think the fact that we are a voyeuristic, and violent society has contributed to it...Big hits have become a focal point during highlight shows...So I'm sure guys think making a big hit will get them air-time...And they're right...

The first and worst hit of the week was Brandon Merriweather's shot to Todd Heap's head...



This hit was so bad, and so cheap, Belichick benched Merriweather...This wasn't the first time he's done this...The league needs to make an example of him...

Next is Dunta Robinson's hit on Desean Jackson...



While Robinson didn't blast Jackson in the head, he did lead with his own head...And not like we were taught when we were kids...I remember a coach saying to put my face mask in the QB's chest...Robinson put his head down and put the crown of the helmet into Jackson's upper body...

But the two hits that have me pissed, and both have gotten little attention, happened in the same game, and were delivered by the same player...First James Harrison put his head down and launched his head into the side of Josh Cribbs head...Later, he put his head down and went after Mohamed Massaquoi's head...



These are not the first two times Harrison has used his helmet as a weapon...He's done this before, and assholes just say he plays the game hard...Yeah he does, and he throws cheap-shots around whenever he can...You know what, to hell with fining him...To hell with suspending him...Sooner or later he's going o learn the hard way...Either some one is going even with with him or, he's going to injure himself...

You don't think so? Ask Eric LeGrand what happens when you lead with the crown of your helmet...He became paralyzed Saturday...




After seeing that, I worry about letting my son play football...Looks like I'm going to be coaching football soon...Some one has to start teaching kids not to lead with their head...

I'd love to hear your thoughts on these hits and the whole topic of head-shots, and leading with the helmet, and the leagues reaction...Yes, They're talking about rule changes now...We all know football is a violent game, so should it there be changes?

Now it's time to lighten the mood...

This week we'll put a different spin on this...

Let's say you're going to meet Candice Swanepoel at the beach for a little quality Hump Day time...Which of these bathing suits would you most like to take off of her...


A.




B.




C.




D.




E.




Read and Respond...

Later, The Beeze

Monday, October 18, 2010

Monday Moaning


Now those are words to live by people!

And I spent a large amount of time saying those words this weekend...I mean hell, it was "Sweetest Day" Saturday...A make believe holiday, created in the "Great Lakes Region"...Damn American Greetings wasn't making enough money off of Valentine's Day so they had to drill us again...So let's begin at Friday...

The kids and I hit the Grocery store...They had the day off, because parent/teacher conferences were Thursday night...Shockingly, the Little Beeze got a good report...He's good at school, and just an ass at home...When I was done shopping, I picked the kids up at the play area...Whoever thought this up was awesome...Baby sitting at the grocery store= awesome! Just as they were being released to me, a female manager walked by...Pretty face, nice creamers,and holy shit, an amazing ass...My God these pants were tight...If she took her pants off, I would guess it looks something like this...




then she stopped to pick something up on the floor...She had papers in her one hand...Probably some stupid memo no one was going to pay attention to...As she bends over, she covers her ass with the papers...All I have to say is , FUCK YOU! You know you have a great ass, that's why you put on those tight pants...So why the hell are you covering it up at such a glorious moment? I HATE YOU!

Moving on...Later in the day, the kid and I took a Chocolate Cheese Cake out to the Wife's office for her and the girls...Remember the picture at the top...Daddy's trying to get some!

Then Friday evening my daughter wanted to go to the local high school football game...She loves going and who am I to say no to some football...We followed the band down the street to the stadium and shared a popcorn, water and hot chocolate on a cool Fall night...She was really into the band, but she got into the game, as our Brooklyn Hurricanes dominated, winning 28-7...The most impressive part, was Hurricanes RB/WR/LB Gary Manning, who scored all for of the teams Touchdowns...He rushed for 131 yards and had 27 yards receiving...On defense he added at least 0 tackles...Oh, and he played every single minute of the game...Offense, defense, and special teams...Kid is an animal, and deserves more coverage than he got from the shitty Cleveland Plain Dealer, so he getting it here!

Saturday I worked a double at the Fish House, making sure all the douche bag lovers had a good meal, on this bullshit holiday...After that, I stopped for a couple beers and a sandwich...Then I pounded out a blog, mocking Ohio State and their fans, after the Suckeyes tanked against Wisconsin...I'm too lazy to link it, so just scroll down and find it later...

On the topic of College Football...The first BCS ranging came out...Here the top 5...


1. Oklahoma
2. Oregon
3. Boise State
4. Auburn
5. TCU

Undefeated LSU and Michigan State are right behind, so if Oklahoma or Oregon fall, don't expect to see Boise State or TCU jump to the top...The system doesn't want that...

Sunday, I did what I've been doing all season...Avoiding the Browns game...Yes, they lost to the Steelers...I took the kids to a Birthday party at a bowling alley...Told the wife to stay home and rest...Why? Because Daddy's trying to get some!

From what I saw at the bowling alley, and from checking online, the Defense kept them in the game for awhile, and Colt McCoy didn't suck as bad as I expected...But that said, don't expect me to be Johnny Glass Half Full...This glass is still pretty close to empty!

NEXT...The NHL season has started, and while I'm a huge hockey fan, I feel the season starts too soon...I also think it lasts too long...Early in the season there are too many days off, and come playoff time, they drag that out with off days...I'd love to see the season shortened, even if that means dropping some games...So since it's early in the season, I won't bore you with all kinds of insight, except for the fact that my Rangers are already getting killed with injuries...But I will give you this...The top 5 fights from the first week of the season...



You gotta give credit to Datsyuk, who isn't a fighter, for dropping the gloves, and holding his own...#2 Orr vs Engelland...Orr was working him, then the kid just planted that one square on the jaw...Not often you see Colton Orr get dropped like that...Ivannas got knocked the fuck out!

Before I get out of here...Let me ask you this...Am I the only one who thinks Mel Gibson could be an awesome Metal singer?




Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hey Buckeyes' Fans, How's My Ass Taste?




Yes, I'm here to gloat! After long "Sweetest Day" at The Fish House, nothing brings me more joy then being right...Yes I said SWEETEST_DAY An American Greeting Holiday...Yep, American Greetings is based in Cleveland, it's actually 2 minutes from my house...But to hell with that shit...I'm here to be right, and enjoy it!

Saturday Night the #1 ranked Ohio State Buckeyes went to Wisconsin and got dominated 31-18 by Badgers...And I predicted it, right
HERE...

There's something special about seeing a sad, upset, frustrated, deflated, and pissed off Suckeyes fan! At work there were a few moping around and I was loving it...And what made me happier? Thinking about few bloggers who just love their Luckeyes...There was one gal at Sporting News who only saw sports in Cleveland and Ohio State through her rose colored glasses...What was her name again? Oh yes, JDIN827...'Ohio is Great!' 'Cleveland is awesome!' 'Our teams may not win, but they have heart and we love them!' Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! People like this make me want to puke in my soup...For once, I would just love to have them take the blinders and see a bit of reality...Then maybe they could write something with just a hint of honesty...But for her, it will never happen...She's a lost soul...

So, how did Wisconsin pounding the ball down your throat taste? Oh, is Pryor still staring down his primary receiver? How's it taste to have that shot at the National Championship shot slip away so soon...AGAIN?

I just checked out her blog at a place called "macapp"...In the comments she told some one this..."Naw, no worries here. I still think we're a better team than Wisky, and definitely have a better coach."

HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU A BETTER TEAM? YOU JUST GOT BEAT DUMMY! YOUR COACH JUST GOT OUT-COACHED...SO HOW IS HE BETTER? ANSWER ME STUPID!

In the words of Mel Gibson,
"YOU MAKE ME WANT TO SMOKE!"

But Ohio State wasn't alone...The South Carolina Gamecocks fell apart too...Just a week after upsetting Alabama, they lost to Kentucky 31-28...KENTUCKY? Way to shit the bed boys!

That's it for now...

Later, The Beeze.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits


Yes, I'm running a bit behind schedule today...I'd apologize, but I just don't care that much today...So let's get to it...

The New York Islanders' James Wisniewski got himself a 2 game suspension for telling Rangers forward, Sean Avery to suck a dick...Let's go to the video...



As A Rangers fan, let me just say, this is Bullshit...Now a player can't make a blow job gesture...Do you know how much shit talking goes on in a Hockey game...A lot, multiplied by a shit-load! Over the last couple seasons players have gotten suspended for making a throat slashing gesture...I've never agreed with that either...You're allowed to fight...It's a non-stop, physical game, but don't make a slashing gesture...No cock sucking gestures either...This is just another example of the pussification of America...It makes me sick...What happens next...Is this guy going to get banned from arenas?




Are they gonna start throwing guys like these two jokers out too?



'Hey Chris, easy with the teeth there pal!'

I'm sorry folks, but we're just getting too soft anymore...Busting balls, talking shit, it's part of the game...And you know what? Most fans enjoy this shit...Mind you, most people hate Sean Avery...Dude is a dick, but he's good at what he does...I didn't like him before he was a Ranger, but while he's on my team, he's alright with me...If he pisses you off and draws a penalty, he's done his job...There are some get on him for starting shit, and then not fighting...I'll say this...Look at his record, dickhead fought his way into the league...And last year when Dan Carcillo jumped Marian Gaborik, Avery was the first to step up an drop gloves, and he dropped them twice that night...But he's still a dick!

Onto Brett Favre's dick, and Jenn Sterger...This big breasted chick let this cat out of the bag, and then no one heard a word from her...Until today, when her manager released this...

"This is something that allegedly happened two years ago. We don’t want a quick resolution, but the proper resolution."

First, if you're saying somebody did something, why does it say "Allegedly"...And why did she wait two years? Listen, the fact that Favre hasn't denied any of this, makes it clear to me, that it's him on those voice mails, and those pictures of that sorry looking dick, are his...

But Sterger waiting two years to say anything looks bad...And let's not forget that this gal has built her career on her looks...Her career started when a Cameraman found her big tits hanging out at a Florida State game...Eventually she ended up in "Playboy"...Now she looks hot on a show on Versus, and isn't taken seriously...But I mean, it is Versus...So crying foul, two years after the fact, about a guy hitting on you seems a little shady...That's just my view...

But now, let's get to the important part of this nonsense...On this fine Hump Day, which set of Bra and Panties would you most like to see laying on your bedroom floor?

A.




B.




C.




As Always, Read and Respond...

Later The Beeze.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Hockey Season is Back...


...And there's nothing like the Rangers and Islanders scrapping one out...Unfortunately, the Rangers lost...But it was nice to see some bad blood between these two rivals...I hope the hate lasts all season long...

Here's a quality fight between Brandon Prust and Zenon Konopka...





Here's Wisniewski telling Avery to go suck another dick!




That wasn't the first gay thing Rangers fans have seen this week...Check out this creeptastic moment from a few nights ago...




Lot of unity on this Rangers team...Lets hope it pays off!

Later, The Beeze.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Monday Moaning


Well that's one way to pretty up a bathroom...And who doesn't like a little Bathroom Humor? Don't answer that!


Speaking of Bathroom Humor, I'm looking forward to going out with our friends
Brian_&_May next week...Those two are always good for a blog full of shenanigans...And they like to mix it up in the Bathroom....


But enough of this stuff, I'll leave the dirty pictures to
BRETT_FAVRE...Yes ESPN is still keeping quiet about Favre and his little cock shots...I wonder if they will mention it at all during their broadcast of Monday Night Football...It being the Viking vs. Jets match up...I doubt it...

I get it, "DEADSPIN" broke it...Hacks like me blogged about it...But then Big Names like Jason Whitlock, and Peter King, (I hate King) and others got into it...Once CBS, NBC, FOX, and other news sources start digging into it, it's time for ESPN to acknowledge that their golden boy isn't perfect, no matter what John Madden says...

Moving on...While I have paid hardly any attention to the MLB Playoffs, I did stop and watch the last couple innings of Roy Halladay's no-hitter the other night...While it was a great accomplishment, I'm over it...Now I hope Halladay gets shelled from this point on...WHY? Because some douche decided it would be a great idea to start calling the month of October, "Doctober"...Yes, they've been calling Halladay "Doc" for a number of years...You know, like that guy from the wild west, Doc Holliday...Well guess what...It's fucking stupid...So he threw a no-hitter...It was also the first start he has ever made in the playoffs...It's not like the guy has a long track-record of dominating in the month of October...I'd love to go a week without some assholes douching something up, that needed no douche-baggery...

Next up...Notre Dame Football...Saturday I worked a double at The Fish House...Once I got home and showered, I heated up some pizza from Friday night, cracked open a couple of beers and fired up the DVR'ed ND vs. Pitt game...The defense played their Bend don't Break style pretty well...The offense again was inconsistent...They left points on the field again...Too many field goals, and not enough touchdowns...Hey, I'm glad the Irish finally have a quality kicker, but I'd rather see extra points instead of field goals...For every positive, there is a negative...They didn't turn the ball over...But they were only 4-12 on 3rd don conversions...The Irish have plenty of beatable teams on their schedule, and I hope they can build off of the positives from these last two games...

But in College Football, the game of the week had to be South Carolina taking down #1 Alabama, 35-21...Huge win for the 'Cocks, and Boise State...'Bama slipped down #8 and of course South Carolina is screwed and still sitting behind them...Boise State moved back up to #3, with Ohio State #1 and Oregon #2...I expect the Luckeyes lose, like I said in my pre-season post, to either Wisconsin or Iowa...Squeaking by Illinois, and blowing out Indiana, Ohio, Eastern Michigan, and Marshall isn't that impressive...I also expect to see Oregon take a loss...The Pac-Ten has a tendency to beat up on each other...

With all that said, I'm sure the polls will find a way to screw,not just Boise State, but also TCU...Nabraska, Oklahoma, Auburn, and LSU are still undefeated, and in power conferences...

As for the NFL, I don't know...I'm not real excited about it yet...Hell I keep finding myself doing something to avoid watching the Browns games...Yes they lost Sunday...What did I do...I took the Beeze family to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History and Planetarium...We've been there many times before, but the boy wanted to go again...He loves the place...Today we took in a show at the Planetarium,and it was really cool...Kind of a geeks delights...A large part of the show was about Pluto...I was against the whole taking the title of planet away, but after this, I was sold...Fuck Pluto! If for no other reason, they've found 25 other objects like Pluto, and who the hell wants to learn 25 more planets?

Afterwards we hit the gift shop, of course...The boy got a bag off sea creatures to play with his growing shark collection...Lots of shit getting eaten by sharks in this house lately...

Before I go, I want to share a video...I caught wind of it via twitter...There's no audio, but you don't need it to laugh your ass off at this dolt!




Have a great week....

Later, The Beeze.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Brett Favre's Penis and ESPN's Silence


(hehee, I showed her my junk!)

So "DEADSPIN" started the rumors back in August...Now they have voice mails and pictures...Voice mails and pictures Favre sent to
JENN_STERGER ...Pictures of his cock...If you listen to the voice mails, you gotta feel sorry for the guy...Dude has no game! If you see the pictures, you gotta feel bad for the guy...Now we know why he wears #4...If you're going to show it off, it better be impressive...

Oh, you haven't seen or heard this shit yet...HERE_YA_GO!

Now I know that "DEADSPIN" is known for being more of a tabloid style, sports site, but they do get plenty of things right...And really, that does sound like Favre on those voice mails...Then today, "DEASPIN" put up THIS_LIST of what other media outlets were saying about the story...

Two things stood out to me...First, Jason Whitlock's ARTICLE on this situation...Now I'm not a fan of all this sexual harassment garbage that goes on these days...If it wasn't for a little workplace sexual harassment, I wouldn't have a wife...That's right people, Mr. and Mrs. Beeze hooked up at work...A little sexual innuendo here, a little grab ass there,a little sex on the bar...Boom! Married two kids and another on the way!

But nonetheless, it's something that's out there...She was an employee of the Jets, and so was he...So the Jets and the NFL should be taking a long look at this...But something tells me Brett won't be treated as harshly as the countless other NFL players who have screwed up in recent years...

The second thing that stood out to me...ESPN, and their complete and total silence on this topic...I mean hell, they cover the Brett Favre off-season, drama queen act religiously, but now when the dirt starts flying, they go silent...Nothing online, nothing on the radio, nothing TV...I guess they're going with that theory of 'If we just ignore it, it'll go away.' Or maybe their big ego has them playing the, 'If we don't cover it, it's not really news' card...Of course they can't say anything bad about their golden boy!

Once again, "The world wide leader" shows that they're the "world wide leader" in bullshit!

I hope Favre's wife leaves him, and takes a shit-ton of his money...I hope Jets players mock his little dick all night long, during Monday Night's game...I hope he is fined and suspended...I hope ESPN turns on him...Then I can right another blog about what tools they are...I would normally hope for an injury, but I'd rather see him mocked all season long, and spend his nights alone, weeping in the corner, using his tears as lube, while he pulls on his little pud, screaming 'WHY JENN! WHY!?!'

Later, The Beeze.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Celebritards Speak onCyber Bullying


So Here I go...I'm going to rant a bit...What a surprise! My own version of Cyber-Bullying if you will..But before I get into it, let me say, I am all for Gay rights...I've been in the restaurant business since I was 13, so I know plenty of gay people, and guess what Christine O'Donnell...They won't turn us all gay...They are people just like the rest of us...Even dummies like you!

That said, there has been a recent rash of young gay people committing suicide over being cyber bullied, or just struggling with their feelings and being gay, in a place where it's hard to be gay...Now is it really a sudden surge of this happening, or is it just the thing to cover on the news this month? Something tells me, gay kids have been having these feelings forever, and sadly, been killing themselves over it for years...We're just hearing about it now...Yes, I think mass media sucks, and they cover what they want, when they want...

So this surge has brought out a number of celebritards to throw out there thoughts on the topic...I first saw it from a couple of posts from friends on facebook...I won't be bashing Ellen Degeneres...She's real, and honest, and as always shared her true feelings on whatever the topic may be...Who am I going after?

FIRST, Perez Hilton...This douchebag posted a video about how it's bad to cyber-bully...And how he knows how it feels to be gay, and trying to be there for gay youth...



Now this could have been an admirable thing...If he wasn't full of shit! This dolt makes his living, and made his name by being nothing but a cyber-bully...He is famous for drawing cum on the faces of celebrities...He draws cocks on celebrities faces...He tells the world who's doing blow...Oh, and he was more then willing to except credit for outing Lance Bass...So where the fuck does this cunt get off saying shit to anyone about cyber-bullying, and about the hardships of being gay...

The kid from Rutgers that killed himself, was outed online, by his roommate, with live video of him with another guy...Why? Because we live in a sick voyeuristic society...We (generally speaking) eat this shit up...Whatever gossip is out there, we jump on it...Scandal, Hell yes! Who's doing who? We have to know! And people like Perez Hilton have been feeding us this shit religiously, so why are we surprised that some stupid college kid set a camera up on his roommate?

Now, the celebritards are all getting out there and doing their LOOK AT ME videos...Nothing would bring me more pleasure than to see this douche Perez set on fire!

Yes, Rihanna, we're gonna stand there and watch him burn!

SECOND, Sarah Silverman had this to say...




While her point may not be totally wrong...I actually agree, parents or a lack thereof are a big part of what is wrong with douchebag kids today, but FUCK HER! So it's okay for an average comic like you top throw around gay jokes on stage whenever you want..But then you think you can preach to America about being nice to gay people...Eat a dick you hack!

THIRD, Dane Cook posted this...




When the fuck did you get a PhD. in Psychology!?! Really America? This is who we are turning to when we need help...Dane Cook is our Walking Book of Knowledge now...Have a problem, ask Dr. Cook! He ends by saying, "We all deserve to have our voices heard, so make your voice heard."

Is this thing on? Can you hear me now? HEY DANE, FUCK YOU AND DON'T STEAL ANYMORE JOKES FROM LOUIS CK!!!


Cyber-bullying, just like any other bullying sucks...It's been going on forever, and I'm sure it will continue to happen long after I'm gone...Sorry to break it to you folks, but that's the way it is...There are always going to be shitty, narrow-minded people in the world...Those are the ones you tell to fuck off!

Since Dr. Dane Cook wants all voices heard, here's my advice...Be active in your kids lives...Even if you have to force it...Do your best to know what's going on, actually listen to them, and not like they are background noise...You can also give them the pointer I gave my daughter when some little bitch was giving her a hard time...I simply told her, "She touches you again, punch her in the throat!

You hear me asshole!?!

Oh, in Sports News, Roy Halladay pitched a no-hitter tonight!


Later, The Beeze.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits



Well folks, It's Hump Day again...I have to say I almost didn't post this one...Tuesday was a real pain in the ass and I was ready to call it a night at 9:00PM...The day spun out of control when I walked in the door after picking up the kids from school, and then going to the Grocery store...As soon as I walked in, the wife called and said, while crying, "get to the Hospital now!" This is not what you want to hear from your pregnant wife, when she's got 3 months of roasting time left...

So I threw the milk, and meat and frozen shit in the fridge got the kids back in the car, ditched them at my folks and got to the hospital...Apparently she went to the bathroom, and left a lot of blood behind...Her friend May took her to hospital right away, and for the first time they were rooting for hemorrhoids...Luckily, after too much waiting and doctors checking a couple things, it was hemorrhoids...Ya Hemorrhoids!

Then we picked up the kids, made a late dinner, got homework done, got the kids to bed, and we were wiped out...

But I checked my email, then bounced around online and got slightly inspired...

The first thing to inspire me...The rumblings that the Patriots are looking at trading Randy Moss to the Minnesota Vikings...Apparently Bill Simmons accidentally tweeted something about about Moss being traded to the Vikings...He said it was suppose to be a Direct Message, and not out there for everyone...Sure Bill!

So then the rumors and stories started flying about Moss wanting to be traded...Moss making a scene in the locker room...Moss asking to be traded...Well I guess Bill Belichik had enough...If you follow football, you know Bill doesn't put up with any bullshit...It doesn't matter who you are...It's all about winning, and it's all business for him and the Pats...So even though I don't like it, I'm feeling pretty confident that Randy Moss won't be a member of the Patriots for much longer...

Next up...The NBA pre-season has started and ESPN is over-hyping the shit out of it...Oh, and of course they're over-hyping the shit out of the Miami Heat...Let me just say, fuck Basketball...Fuck the Heat...Fuck LeBron James...and Fuck ESPN...I know I'm not alone in my disgust...Right
PAPA_BEAR!

Also in sports...The Baseball Playoff start Wednesday...Will you be watching? I most likely won't pay much attention...I haven't watched a game in 2 months, so why start now...But real quick, I'm predicting, with the Twins at home, the Yankees get knocked out in the first round...I find it funny, with all the money they have spent on pitching, that A.J. Burnette will be in the Bullpen, and Javier Vasquez isn't on the Playoff roster...I won't be watching, but I'll be hoping they lose!

But enough of this sports nonsense...Let's get down to business...On this fine Hump day...Which one of these lovely humps would you most like go balls deep in?


A. Ali Sonoma




B. Tamara Witmer




C. Crystal Hemphill




Read and Respond...

Later, The Beeze.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Monday Moaning


Yes dear, it's Monday and no one else is coming to help you...Just The Beeze!

So it's been a wild week...Your friendly, neighborhood Beeze turned 35 this past week, and even though I didn't the Gibson Trini-Lopez I wanted...The wife did surprise me with a Paul Westerberg, signature guitar...


Yep, the guitar room/man cave are also the play room...Then two days later, came the Little Beeze's birthday...Saturday at
PUMP_IT_UP with 15 kids going wild! I was fearing that I'd be pulling my hair out, but the kids were well behaved, and the staff was great...The even had a party coordinator who took care of everything, including taking notes of who got what gift for the kid...By the way, he got hooked up by friends,(parents) uncles, and grandparents...After that it was home to put shit together, and play...

Then I had my fantasy Hockey draft...When I finished I felt good about my team...I started telling the kids my roster, as I picked them, round by round...They didn't give a shit, so I started being more obnoxious about it...When I got to Nathan Horton of the Bruins, Little Beeze stopped me and said, "Wait, that guy you just said, he sucks, he's a bitch!" I was shocked and laughing, and said, "WHAT!" (like Mel Gibson) and he said, "He sucks, he's a bitch, he's an asshole!" Then I really started laughing! I know some people may not find this funny, but we thought it was hilarious, and you're just too uptight...The kid is funny as hell!

After all that it was time to get them to bed, and watch football...In case you missed it,
HERE'S my breakdown of this past weekend's college games...

A topic from the College Football world that popped up Sunday, and really pissed me off was that Boise State dropped from #3 to #4...I'm not saying Oregon isn't one of the top teams...I'm not saying they don't deserve to be #3...But how do you drop a team after they win 59-0...Yes it was a weak team, but they did what they had to do...While Ohio State had a tough time getting past Illinois...Now you know it's College Football season...The controversy is starting...

Now onto the Great White Hope, Peyton Hillis!


Yes, I said it, and no, you're not allowed to be offended...Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason, and the fact of the matter is, most running backs in the NFL are black...Just as for many years now, most quarterbacks are white...It is what is...But the Cleveland Browns are shaking things up, and breaking down walls...With Hillis now starting at Halfback, and Seneca Wallace starting at QB...Both are winning over the fans, and I'll tell you what...I'm almost ready to go buy a Hillis jersey...Dude is a beast, and this week he rushed for over a 100 yards for the second week in a row...Last week he put up 144 on the Ravens...This may be no big deal to some people, but this is the Browns we're talking about!

Hillis was overshadowed in College at Arkansas, mainly lead blocking for Darren McFadden, and Felix Jones...In that time he racked up 2,624 all-purpose yards...Not bad! And now he's showing his game can translate to the NFL...So far he's put up 322 yards on the ground, 94 yards receiving, and 4 TD's...I'm loving the power running game I've been seeing the last couple weeks...I hope he can keep it up...



Before I get out of here, I want to close with a song...This goes out to some special friends of mine...




Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.