Monday, June 20, 2016

Monday Moaning




Cleveland is thrilled this morning...I'm happy for them...I'm happy for Cavaliers fans...I'm happy for the people who never paid attention to basketball but jumped on the 'we have a chance' bandwagon...I'm happy for the people who think some mythical curse was broken Sunday night...There was no curse...There was bad luck, better teams, and piss-poor management (just look at the Browns)....

I have never been a Basketball fan...I've never been a Cavs fan...I've never been a LeBron James fan...Hell, I'm more of a LeBron James the actor in "Train-wreck" then I am of the basketball player....So I didn't jump on the bandwagon during this run...And I'm not going to write some bullshit post like I'm Johnny Fucking Cleveland Cavalier Fan...I respect the true fans too much...I respect my hometown too much...And I respect myself...So I'm not going to sing the praises of the LBJ and Kyrie Irving, and the rest of the Cavaliers, like I have some fucking clue about the games I didn't watch...

I'm happy friends and family and fans are excited and happy...The big win had no impact on me...The AHL Lake Erie Monsters Calder Cup win was a bigger deal to me...If the Tribe takes the World Series this year...Then you may see me lose my shit...

Quickly after the win... The wonderful world of Social Media annoyed me...As the WKYC Facebook feed asked: "What Does this Championship mean to you?"

The top comment stated this:   "It means OUR CITY is FINALLY Validated!!!"

Again, Cleveland friends and fans, I'm happy for ya...But this guy is a fucking asshole... If it takes a sports team to validate a city for you, I feel very sad for you...I would think it would give greater validation if the city's schools were the best in the country, or if the unemployment rate was at record low, and the average income at record high...

I know the History of Cleveland and Cleveland sports...The first 40 years of my life are all in Cleveland...I suffered the same painful fandom losses...It sucked...But losing sports teams never made me feel like the city was a steaming pile of shit...The steaming pile of shit in Lake Erie could give that impression for you...The city of Cleveland has great Universities...Great Hospitals...An amazing and underrated food and restaurant scene...It's always had a great music scene, and performing arts...The Art Museum is unfucking real...

There are plenty of great things that should have validated the city for you...Millionaires winning a championship with your city's name on their uniform should not be what makes you think your city is worth a damn...

What the city and it's people do as a whole makes it what it is, not a team of rich guys that live there because of their paychecks...

I'm glad you're happy Cleveland fans...I'm proud to say I'm from Cleveland...And I'm proud you crazy fuckers didn't burn the whole mother fucker down...We all know how easily the river lights up!


Have a week.... 

 

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Question: Sleep Number Beds



 For some time we have been hearing about "Sleep Number Beds"...They seem to have become popular...you know the commercials where him and her share what their " Sleep Number" is...I've also talked to friends who have them and they love it...

 The basic idea is you and your partner can set your individual sides of the bed to your specific settings for optimum sleep comfort.... But there is a question that no has come out and answered about these beds....

 What about sex?

 I know, I'm a pig...But I like to be comfortable when it's time to get some stank on the hang-low...I'm sure most of us prefer to be comfortable when it's time to bump uglies...So how are you suppose to set your "Sleep Comfort Bed?"

 Does it depend on who's on top, or bottom? Or is there specific settings for each position?

 I'm sure this seems trivial, but these beds are a big investment and I'm sharing this bed...I want us to be comfortable not just when we're sleeping, but when I'm laying the wood too...

The salespeople don't answer this question...The website doesn't...We all aren't lazy, just using this thing to sleep...I plan on driving this bitch to Pound-Town! So help me out...

 What's your sex number?