Friday, June 8, 2018

A Great Loss





Normally, when celebrity dies I may be saddened but it doesn't impact me much...People die...When the great chef Charlie Trotter died, I was greatly saddened...When a celebrity commits suicide, well, for a long time, I shit on them...I understand people have demons, and deal with shit like depression...I do as well, but I have a hard time accepting people who have all the ability and wealth to get the help they need...But this blog isn't about that...It's about the loss of a culinary icon...

Up until 3 years ago, I spent my entire working life in the restaurant business...For a lot of that time, I didn't brag about what I did...I actually felt uncomfortable talking about it...Many people look down on the service industry...Yeah, they want people to wait on them and cook for them and serve them, but they don't really want to know you...Those people are fucking assholes!

I don't even know what my parents thought of my career path...Once they realized I was good at it, I think they were fine with it, but few parents out there are ever saying, 'God I hope my kid grows up to work 70 hour weeks for shit pay, high blood pressure and a drinking problem!'

Then one day I was in a Borders Book Store...Remember those places? I saw Anthony Bourdain's "Kitchen Confidential"....I bought and had read it twice in a week...It's the book I wanted to write but didn't have nearly the experience to do...It was brutally honest and talked about the shit that's never talked about when it comes to the restaurant business...He was one us...Started at the bottom and worked his way up...

The Food Network had been around awhile but it was bullshit...Emeril was a hack that made people think all chefs had or needed a catch phrase...Fuck all That! (that was ours at the Fish House)...Rachel Ray never was and never will be a chef...She was a made for TV salesperson...But Bourdain opened people's eyes to the grind...

Suddenly I felt I could hold my high about what I did for a living...As his popularity grew, it opened many more doors for other real chefs, and opened many more eyes of the public about our industry...His show "No Reservations" took people all over as he taught us about food and cultures so many of us never experienced...and many would be too afraid to try...And when he went to big cities like Boston, he wasn't taking us to big name places and big name chefs...He showed us the underbelly of the culinary scene...Hard working, hard living, chefs taking shit to the next level and not getting the fanfare and not even seeking it...He delved into the underground music scenes, and took us to hidden gems...

Then with his CNN show "Parts Unknown" he took that same format to the next level...Exploring cultures, religions, history and yes, food, from all over the world...He shared the stories of legendary people, that we never knew of...Little tidbits of history they don't teach in school...And the food and drinks...So much we never knew about...so much we want to try now...And one of the greatest things he did.....He championed the little guy...The Hungarian film editor...The no name indie musician...The Detroit chef, in a dead part of town, starting a public garden and making amazing, yet affordable cuisine, hoping to be a small part of turning things around.

Anthony Bourdain was great chef, who started in the dish-pit...If he never wrote great books and did great TV shows, he still would have been a great chef that achieved more than so many of us dream of...But he took his culinary knowledge and his easy way with people, and was able to teach us so much more, about food and culture and humanity...

I don't know what drove him to take his own life and I am greatly saddened by it...I feel he had so much more to tell us and teach us...Maybe I'm just selfish because someone I looked up to is gone...


Friday, May 18, 2018

The Last Year Sucked


It's been a long time since I've done this...Honestly, I may have forgotten how to do it...In my blogging/writing prime, I was posting multiple blogs a day and I was definitely writing every day...Then my life changed drastically and in many ways...I lost time and the drive to write every day...I slipped down to one day a week until I just stopped...Why did I stop...Mainly, because I had written honestly, and was an open book, and I no longer wanted to let everything flow out of me...I didn't want to dig into certain feelings, nor did I want to share much of them...

I think now is time...I think I need to...Because I have become a depressed lump of shit...If you know me, or read the blogs back in the day, you know I've always had a angry streak...The anger is still there, it's not going anywhere...But the depression has built and built...

The Changes 

A few years ago, we moved from Cleveland to Erie, PA...We did it for good reasons...To help my in-laws...Both dealing with dementia...At the time, my Mother was battling cancer...But at that point things were looking positive...She was getting better...She had a brutal battle, but the docs were feeling great with her results...I hated breaking the news to my parents...I felt like I was betraying them...But they understood and supported us...They may have been pissed at us, but they never showed it...

Also, I left my life long career in the restaurant business...That was a plus in the sense that the life is tough for a family...But I loved that evil business...I still have dreams about those days, and one day will find my way into owning my own place...

Then Shit Got Worse

My Mother's cancer came back with a vengeance...It was brutal...Then I quit writing, the day I accepted the fact that my Mom was dying...I played the positive bullshit card as much as I could for the kids, but it was over a good time before she passed...I had fully accepted and mentally prepared myself that she was leaving...There is only one single guarantee about life...It will end...

In a couple days, it will be the one year anniversary of my Mother's death...She was in the hospital, they were managing her pain, and the last week, I was driving into Cleveland every evening and sending the night with her...My brothers and I took shifts along with my dad staying with her...That last morning, I knew she was going that day...I told her we'd be ok...I'll told her it was ok to go...She didn't need to fight for us anymore...When I was getting ready to go, my Dad said, "I'll give you a minute to say goodbye"...He hadn't done that before...He knew too...We all did...So I wasn't surprised when he called a few hours later and told me she was gone...

I got out of bed, and waited for my wife and kids to get home...They had gone to see my mother-in-law...I broke the news to them...The tears flowed, except from me...I'm the dad...At that time, I can't cry...I have to be their rock...I will never forget when my Grandfather (my dad's father) died...I didn't see my father cry...He was a rock for everyone...The day of the funeral, after it was all done, and he had handled what he had to...He went upstairs alone, and for the first time in my young life, I heard my father cry...But I didn't see it...It didn't see him cry until my Mom, his wife of 47 years died....

After I told the kids, and things settled down, I went to take a shower...But first I sat on the bathroom floor crying, and silently telling my Mom I was sorry..."I'm sorry I left you, I'm so sorry"...People tell me I can't beat myself up for moving...People will say they understand, and I didn't do anything wrong...They may be right, but I can't shake the feeling that I betrayed my mom, or that I let her down...

Firsts 

Since that day, every day has been the first something without Mom...And let me tell you, The first Christmas, and first birthday and first this and that (big days) suck an epic sack of balls...But very single day has sucked, because so many of those days are days that I would have called her, or she would have called us...So many things happen and I think, I gotta call Mom and tell her this...FUCK! Kick in the head! I can't call Mom ever again...There is so much we assumed she'd be around for and now life sucks so much more because she's not around for any of it.

I have dreams about my mom and wake up, and the first thought is 'SHIT!' It was a dream...Back to reality...Shitty steaming pile of reality....

I miss Mom every day, if only in the littlest way...A small flower popped up in our yard...My first thought was 'Mom'...I have barely listened to the Beatles in the last year...I hear the Beatles and all I can think of is my Mom...Every Beatles song makes me sad these days...She loved music...Lots of different music, but for me, the Beatles mean Mom...

Where Do I Go From Here

People say when someone you love dies, that it'll get easier...When my grandfathers died, it got easier, but I was young...When my cousin died, I got mad, and found myself questioning every bit of the Catholic religion I was raised in...I was still young and it got easier and kicked my brain into gear when questioning shit...But this is different...This is my Mom...My kids grandmother...A woman I could ask anything, tell anything, and would offer any and all help she could give, and support anything I did...Anything my brothers did...Anything my wife and kids did or needed...I don't know how this gets easier...I don't know how I stop being mad at myself...I don't know how I stop being sad...I'll never stop missing her.


The last year has sucked...There have been good things that have happened...There have been fun times...But it's all overshadowed by the fact that Mom is gone...That I couldn't share it with her...That the kids couldn't tell her about it...

How the fuck does it get better?


Thursday, July 7, 2016

Song of the Day....


Almost every day on Facebook I post a song of the day...Normally there is no deep meaning behind it...Some days it just may be a song that is in my head...Some days it is picked based off of a chat at work...Like when a co-worker thought "The Joker" by the Steve Miller Band was done by The Offspring....Kids these days...Some days I just go through the 1500 songs on my iPhone and pick a random tune...On rare days like today, it has a little more behind it...

I was looking at Facebook and Twitter and was just getting sick...The constant posts about politics and disagreements about our political views...And yes, I'm guilty of it...then there are the news stories of murder and mistreatment and all around shittieness...This just leads to many of us judging entire groups by the acts of the bad apples...

The overriding theme on the Internet and it seems to be so in real life, has become Anger and Hate...And I understand the anger...I'm an angry asshole a lot of the time...

But fuck it! We need some love up in this bitch...Watch the video for today's song of the day...Let inspire you...And go out and fucking hug someone!


Monday, June 20, 2016

Monday Moaning




Cleveland is thrilled this morning...I'm happy for them...I'm happy for Cavaliers fans...I'm happy for the people who never paid attention to basketball but jumped on the 'we have a chance' bandwagon...I'm happy for the people who think some mythical curse was broken Sunday night...There was no curse...There was bad luck, better teams, and piss-poor management (just look at the Browns)....

I have never been a Basketball fan...I've never been a Cavs fan...I've never been a LeBron James fan...Hell, I'm more of a LeBron James the actor in "Train-wreck" then I am of the basketball player....So I didn't jump on the bandwagon during this run...And I'm not going to write some bullshit post like I'm Johnny Fucking Cleveland Cavalier Fan...I respect the true fans too much...I respect my hometown too much...And I respect myself...So I'm not going to sing the praises of the LBJ and Kyrie Irving, and the rest of the Cavaliers, like I have some fucking clue about the games I didn't watch...

I'm happy friends and family and fans are excited and happy...The big win had no impact on me...The AHL Lake Erie Monsters Calder Cup win was a bigger deal to me...If the Tribe takes the World Series this year...Then you may see me lose my shit...

Quickly after the win... The wonderful world of Social Media annoyed me...As the WKYC Facebook feed asked: "What Does this Championship mean to you?"

The top comment stated this:   "It means OUR CITY is FINALLY Validated!!!"

Again, Cleveland friends and fans, I'm happy for ya...But this guy is a fucking asshole... If it takes a sports team to validate a city for you, I feel very sad for you...I would think it would give greater validation if the city's schools were the best in the country, or if the unemployment rate was at record low, and the average income at record high...

I know the History of Cleveland and Cleveland sports...The first 40 years of my life are all in Cleveland...I suffered the same painful fandom losses...It sucked...But losing sports teams never made me feel like the city was a steaming pile of shit...The steaming pile of shit in Lake Erie could give that impression for you...The city of Cleveland has great Universities...Great Hospitals...An amazing and underrated food and restaurant scene...It's always had a great music scene, and performing arts...The Art Museum is unfucking real...

There are plenty of great things that should have validated the city for you...Millionaires winning a championship with your city's name on their uniform should not be what makes you think your city is worth a damn...

What the city and it's people do as a whole makes it what it is, not a team of rich guys that live there because of their paychecks...

I'm glad you're happy Cleveland fans...I'm proud to say I'm from Cleveland...And I'm proud you crazy fuckers didn't burn the whole mother fucker down...We all know how easily the river lights up!


Have a week.... 

 

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Question: Sleep Number Beds



 For some time we have been hearing about "Sleep Number Beds"...They seem to have become popular...you know the commercials where him and her share what their " Sleep Number" is...I've also talked to friends who have them and they love it...

 The basic idea is you and your partner can set your individual sides of the bed to your specific settings for optimum sleep comfort.... But there is a question that no has come out and answered about these beds....

 What about sex?

 I know, I'm a pig...But I like to be comfortable when it's time to get some stank on the hang-low...I'm sure most of us prefer to be comfortable when it's time to bump uglies...So how are you suppose to set your "Sleep Comfort Bed?"

 Does it depend on who's on top, or bottom? Or is there specific settings for each position?

 I'm sure this seems trivial, but these beds are a big investment and I'm sharing this bed...I want us to be comfortable not just when we're sleeping, but when I'm laying the wood too...

The salespeople don't answer this question...The website doesn't...We all aren't lazy, just using this thing to sleep...I plan on driving this bitch to Pound-Town! So help me out...

 What's your sex number?

Monday, May 23, 2016

Monday Moaning (Make America Smart Again)



America...The greatest country in the world...Well, at least that's what we Americans say...And what the hell do I know, I haven't lived anywhere else...But this country was built on freedom...And if nothing else the idea of what America should be was some great shit...But I feel slowly the country has been going off the rails...Mainly because our political system has been corrupted...Originally a Government of the people, by the people, for the people...Now a Government of people, ignoring the people, for themselves...

So it is no surprise that so many people like the idea of Bernie Sanders shaking shit up...While a career politician, he's not the typical politician, and clearly hasn't worked well with the DC machine...If it wasn't for the DNC rigging the system, Sanders would be a pubic hair away from snagged the nomination away from Clinton....

Clinton is and has been a part of the machine...It's understandable why people don't like/trust her...She plays the games...She puts on fake accents when speaking to people in the south, or largely black groups...She panders to everyone but only looks out for those who line her pockets...And when she speaks at rallies, she sounds like an old hand crank siren, slowly revving into that god-awful wail or hers...Like a broken fucking trumpet....

Then we come to Trump...I totally get why people have gravitated to this ass-hat...He looks like a political outsider...He shoots from the hip when he speaks...Doesn't think shit through at all...just says what he feels, no matter how stupid it is...No matter how much of a lie it is...And my does he lie...But give him credit, he stands by his lies...He holds his ground...

He says he'll get things done and back it up with 'because I said so'....He says racist shit, that he doesn't think is racist...But it pulls in a group of dolts...He says Reality TV show guy stuff that has a catchy tag-line...Boom, he grabs another group of dolts...He pontificates about what a great business man he is, and that's how he's going to fix the economy and "Make America Great Again"...He grabs more dolts with that...Dolts that ignore that just about all his businesses have gone under...(The guy tried to sell steaks exclusively at Sharper Image!  Can you say retard?)   Or like Trump University, were a scam...He will tell you about Clinton possibly being indicted, but not the the numerous lawsuits that are pending against him...

Americans are sick of the way things have been...Parties drawing lines in the sand and not working together...Their representatives not voting how the people feel, but voting based on backroom deals...They're sick of delegates and super-delegates going against their vote...They're sick of stupid ass caucuses being decided by coin flips...They're sick of the Electoral College and just want a straight up and down popular vote...Americans aren't being listened to by the people that represent them...They're pissed...

So Trump is capitalizing off of this...The big DC outsider is going to shake things up...There's one problem...Trump isn't an outsider...Trump has been lining the pockets of City, State, and Federal government officials forever...Trump has put money in the pockets of politicians from both parties...Including his now rivals, Bill and Hilary Clinton...

Trump does what is best for him...He won't do what's best for you...Trump joins whatever party is best for him personally:

1964-1987 Democrat


1987-1999 Republican


1999-2001 Reform Party


2001-2009 Democrat


2009-2011 Republican


2011-2012 Independent


2012-Present Republican 



Trump may be bucking the Republican party, but he won't buck the system as much as you have been lead to believe....

A number of years ago I wrote a tongue and cheek blog about running for President...Well, maybe it's time to go for it...For real this time...

Let's MAKE AMERICA SEXY AGAIN!




Hmmm...3 British models as my campaign models may be held against me...But they sure seem to like us!

Maybe we need a better tag-line...


MAKE AMERICA SMART AGAIN!



Of course, the people that walk around wearing their " 'Murica " gear, or show themselves blowing shit up on facebook and then type  "  'Murica " are going to be bothered by this...Because they'll feel I'm calling them stupid...Well, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck...Is it that hard for you to just write America...I find you to be less patriotic if you can't spell the country's name in full...

Any way...Here are a couple bullet points for my campaign...

*Legalize pot...Tax that shit just like alcohol and cigarettes...It's no worse for your health then those legal substances...So lets legally sell it, buy it, tax it, and use those tax dollars to help improve our fucked up public school systems...

*Do away with pennies...It costs 3 cents to make that stupid 1 cent coin...start rounding to the nearest nickle...

*Legalize Prostitution...Many of us provide services in our jobs...So do whores...People should stop looking down on them just because the perform acts for money, that most self respecting people wouldn't...I mean seriously...There are very few women out there who are gonna let you bang the hell out of them and then take a shit on their face....Or give you a blow job while you're taking a dump...
The benefits to this...Now we can regulate these women...Have them tested regularly, so there isn't a fear of disease...And most importantly...These gashes are finally paying taxes on all that cash they've been making eating cock!

*Civil Rights...Civil Rights is defined: "the rights of citizens to political and social freedom and equality."  Okay fuckers...That means everyone...White, Black, Hispanic, Gay, Straight, what the fuck ever...And no you are not allowed to drag religion into this...Remember separation of Church and State....Remember the First Amendment?  "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

We are not a "Christian Nation"...We are a nation of many religions...Just as we are a nation of immigrants...Remember back in second when Sister Rose taught us about America being "The Great Melting Pot"...Then we all grew up and a bunch of us became idiots wanting to build Trump's wall because some how Mexicans stole your jobs...Last I checked you had no intention of picking of being out in the heat all day picking vegetables for $20 a day...

*Close the tax loopholes and stop with the insane tax breaks for corporations...Don't believe how bad it is...In 2011 Citigroup made $4 billion in profits and paid no federal income tax...from 2007-2011 General Electric made $26 billion in profits and not only paid no federal income tax, it got a $4.1 billion refund... Boeing gets approximately a $100 million refund from the IRS annually...Conoco Phillips, which is the fifth largest oil company in the United States, made $16 billion in profits from 2007 through 2009, but received $451 million in tax breaks...I can go on for day with this shit people...It's public record...But so many don't bother to look...

That's why we have to make AMERICA SMART AGAIN...So we can get control of our politicians...And get control of our country...


Have a week!


Friday, May 20, 2016

A Broken Generation (Musically Speaking)




I have been working at a new job since December and it wasn't hard to notice that many of my co-workers are younger then me...That was never something that would bother me, because I've always felt younger then my age...And acted accordingly as well!  But the gap seems to be getting larger, and some of these kids are just dolts...Some are great, and it gives me a glimmer of hope...But my God the dolts really are trying to drag them down...These dolts are in the 18-25 age group...

This week, I had an encounter with one of these young-ins that I don't consider a dolt...The song "Born in the USA" came on, and she said, 'Can't go wrong with some Kid Rock!"  Shocked, I replied "WHAT!?!"  She said, "Isn't this Kid Rock?"  I had to inform her it was Bruce Springsteen, and recorded before she was born...

A day or so later another co-worker, closer to my age shared a story about one of the young dolts not knowing who Tom Petty was....Asking, "When was he popular?" and "When did he perform?"  I was baffled that those questions had to be answered...While I'm a hug music lover/fan, I've never been a huge Tom Petty fan...But I know who the fuck he is...I know a bunch of his tunes...And there are plenty that I like...Holy crap on a cracker...

But this story didn't end...No fucking way Johnny...It got worse...The dolt then informed my seasoned colleague that "Michael Buble is this generation's Frank Sinatra".........huh?  The fuck you say!?!

Sinatra only had countless hit songs...Starred in 64 movies...Was the co-lead with Marlon Brando in "Guys and Dolls"...He setup JFK with Marilyn Monroe...Buble doesn't have the music or movie resume, and last I checked (for comparisons sake) he hasn't gotten President Obama laid with Scarlett Johansson....




But it's still not over...With mother fucking, honest, straight face, this dope said, "One Direction is this generation's Beatles'....Well doll, then there is no fucking help for your damn generation! Do you have any idea what the Beatles did musically? Do you not understand how they changed the industry...I'll put up just George's demos against the entire auto-tuned One Direction catalog of shit, and I'll win hands down...WTF/OMFG/SMH...You name it...I thought it...Even, FYDB....(Fuck You Die Bitch)...I have heard some dumb shit in my 40 years on this Earth...Without a doubt, comparing One Direction to The Beatles has jumped to the top of the list...That people, is a chokable offense!


I know, not all 18-25 year-olds are dolts...And I know they all aren't so musically retarded...But from what I'm hearing and seeing, there are plenty....

There is hope coming down the road...My oldest daughter, some of her friends, and nieces are all listening to a large variety of music...My daughter for example is into some scream rock/punk/emo shit...But it's based in Rock...But she also likes classic rock...She has a bunch of Beatles and 'Stones songs on her iPhone...She likes some pop-rock stuff...And she's into Twenty One Pilots...(young kids music I was into a couple years before her)...She's a also a heck of a clarinet player with a bit of Jazz under her belt...Thankfully some of us raised our kids right...Hopefully they'll be able to turn the dolts around, or at least educate the dolts kids!


But in case we get some young ones reading this...I'll share a bit of music they should hear, just to get them on track....






















And since Siouxsie Medley is featured at the top of this post, why not some Dead Sara...





There is good music out there...Old and new...Spread it, before the dolts spread too much of their stupidity!