Sunday, December 27, 2009

Monday Moaning

I'd like to start this week by thanking the You Gab Sports community for voting me their Blogger of the year...It was a lovely ceremony... http://yougabsports.com/pt/FESTIVUS-Has-Arrived-Awards-for-People/blog.htm

It was great just to be nominated...But it's even better winning! Ha!

It was a busy week...Lets start with...

THE BEEZE'S CHRISTMAS UNWRAPPED...

After slinging some lunches out of The Fish House...I had a couple Christmas Ales...Went home, took the kids outside to spread some reindeer food...What you never heard of it...Just take some bird seed and some shiny sprinkles, mix them up, and let the kids throw them all over the yard so Santa's reindeer know where the hell to go...

Then I made some food for guests that were coming over...Then I cracked open a Christmas Ale...The kids and I checked the NORAD site repeatedly to see where the fat man was...I opened some more Christmas Ales...Got people out of my house...Got the kids to bed...Had a Christmas Ale...Then the wife and I did the big setup...From the looks of all the sh!t under the tree, we did our part for the economy, and now we'll be scraping by for the next couple months...Then I gave the Mrs. a pounding with my Yule Log...Got another Christmas Ale, and started working on putting together the bike we got for my daughter...

Not a bad job considering I was sh!t faced by the time I was done...

Christmas morning came quick...It started with the little Beeze saying, "Look I was on the nice list!" He had opened 5 presents before I even had my eyes completely open...It was insanity for about 30 minutes...Then the coffee was brewing and I was taking toys out of their packages...Do they really need to be strapped in the boxes that tightly...Do we really need to have 6 different sized screwdrivers for all the different battery hatches...Dear God! Then I took a nap...By noon I was no longer drunk, just hungover...Just in time to get ready to go to dinner...First year in 6 that I wasn't cooking, and I loved it!

The kids had a great Christmas...The wife was happy with all her gifts...I was happy with mine...Well, all except one...You may remember the wife and I have made a New Year's resolution to both lose weight...If I lose a certain amount, she promised to give up the holiest of holes! So what do I unwrap on Christmas morning? A deep fryer...Girl is trying cheat...But I won't be stopped!

Now, onto the Cleveland Browns...They gave their fans a nice present for Christmas...Mike Holmgren...This may be the best move they've made since their return...There's been a lot of talk about Holmgren giving Eric Mangini the boot...I haven't been Mangina's biggest supporter, but I think it may be a bad move to bounce him after only one year here...It's not like he walked into a team full of talent...And in the last month the Browns defense has shown some balls...The other big factor is we all should have known it would take some time to turn things around...Mangini set the team up with 11 picks in the upcoming draft...He knew this pile of crap needed depth, and like all coaches he wants his type of players...It may not be popular, by I think he should get a second year...Besides that, do the Browns really need another ex-coach on the payroll...I believe they're still paying two other dolts!

Other NFL news...the Steelers looked out of it just a couple weeks ago...Now all the sudden they're back in the Wild Card hunt...Way to sh!t the bed Ravens!

The Patriots seem to be hitting their playoff stride, as they beat the hell out of the Jaguars Sunday...

And is there any team that is more Jekyll & Hyde then the New York Giants...They've been all over the map this year...Couple good games...Bunch of bad games...Win here, lose there...They can't seem to get in a rhythm...I thought they might have found it last week, but then B-Dubs Panthers rolled into Giants Stadium and beat the living sh!t out of them...

And Mercury Morris and all his buddies can rest easy...The Colts called it quits on going for a perfect season...Why? I don't know...Hell, I don't care...F**k them! But who was that hack playing QB instead of Manning? What a slug!

The big news in College Football this week...Urban Meyer decided to step down as coach of the Florida Gators due to health concerns...Only to go Brett Favre two days later and say it's a leave of absence, and he'll be back...You know what...Whatever...I don't care...Do whatever you want, but don't keep calling the media every other day...I'm already sick of you Urban!

A bit of news on the little Beeze...Besides him making the nice list...We were informed Sunday evening that he would like to be an underwear model...Yep, he was striking poses and cracking his mother up...I gave him a 2 bits of advice...Stuff a sock in there...And start working on your abs...

Now, back to Christmas...I've always loved this time of year...If you celebrate Christmas...Don't stop...You see, I always would get down Christmas night...Because after all the fuss, it's all over so quickly...Well folks, there's 12 days of Christmas...Those days start on Christmas, and go to January 6th...Just thought I'd remind people Christmas wasn't always a commercial deal...It actually started as a religious thing...The 12 days took you from Christmas to the Feast of the Epiphany...Google that sh!t if you don't believe the dude who spent 12 years in Catholic prison...I mean school...

I'd like to close with a vote...Which of these two Christmas songs is more annoying...

This...



Or This...


Let me know...

Later, The Beeze.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Some of the Beeze's Guilty Pleasures (Music Edition)

So last week Mo over at You Gab Sports did a post on some of his guilty pleasures from the music world... http://yougabsports.com/pt/Guilty-Pleasures-5-Pack/blog.htm

It got a number of us sharing some of ours...So, I thought I'd share a taste of some of mine...

First up is the band Augustana...Mrs. Frag was wondering who the hell they are? So here ya go....




I also mentioned "Squok" by Genesis...It's from when they were cool, and not doing that crappy pop junk...Just sit back with a drink, or blaze up and enjoy this classic...




I also mentioned Journey...Yeah they were all about the power ballad...But they could rock...Neil Schon is an animal on guitar...And Steve Perry could sing like a mutha fucka...




In the comments of Mo's post I mentioned Pink, and Kelly Clarkson...I love female singers...The next guilty pleasure is from a band with a female singer...Paramore...I'm sure I may get some ball busting from this, but I dig it...Maybe it makes me feel young...




Here's another band with a female singer...K's Choice...A half assed Cleveland band called Big Sailor opened for them at the Agora in Cleveland back in '97 and I've been hooked ever since...




And since most people know Our Lady Peace is my biggest musical guilty pleasure...And since it was guitarist Steve Mazur's birthday yesterday, I'll close with this six pack out with them...This song is called "Paper Moon"...Great guitar solo!




Later, The Beeze.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Monday Moaning

That's right, Christmas is just about here, and nothing says Christmas in Cleveland like a Leg Lamp...The Beeze family spent a couple hours on Sunday at the "A Christmas Story" House...For those of you who don't know, a number of the outside shots in that movie were down in Cleveland...Including Ralphie's house...The inside of the house wasn't used, but when the Cleveland home went on sale on E-Bay, some smart guy bought it and rehabbed the house to look like it did in the movie...There are two other houses across the street, one is a museum, and one is a gift shop..."A Christmas Story" is big business in the Cleve...

Now, I'm going to move on to the death of Bengals receiver Chris Henry...I had commented on other blogs, and even though it may not have seemed like it...I bit my tongue a little...But now I'm gonna let it all fly...The day Henry died it was all over sports talk radio, and blogs...I was listening to Mad Dog Unleashed...Most of the time I don't agree with the Dog...But he's fun to listen to...He's always blowing a gasket, and stumbling over his own words...

He was talking to a caller who said he was a police officer...This guy didn't like Mad Dog Russo's outlook on Henry...And thought we should all feel the same about every life lost...Russo disagreed...So did I...I'm going to feel different about a soldier losing his life in battle...I'm going to feel different about a police officer or firefighter losing their life in the line of duty...I'm going to feel different for a helpless child that gets killed by disease, or a drunk driver...

How I feel about their deaths will not be the same as a football player who is a 3 and 4 timer loser...Henry's rap sheet was as long as Tiger Woods' driver...He should have been in jail getting a pink sock from Bubba...But instead, he was given chance after chance, after chance...Because he played football...If it was you or me, we would have been locked-up...Do I feel bad for his family...Yes, but I felt bad for them every time they had to see his mug on TV standing in a courtroom...

And since I mentioned Tiger Woods' driver...You should check this out...
http://yougabsports.com/pt/Tiger-Woods-Tells-it-Like-it-is/blog.htm

Now, I'd like to apologize for my lack of blogging lately...This time of year is crazy at the Fish House, and even though I've wanted to post things, I just haven't had it in me...Or haven't had the time...The kids and getting things together for Christmas can slow you down too...But back to the Fish House...

My Father always use to tell us, "Every man should have to serve at least two years for his country, and box one year in the Golden Gloves." I've got something that needs to be added to that list...Everyone...And I mean Everyone, should have to work at least one year in the restaurant business...Maybe then there wouldn't be so many assholes who go out to eat...

We have this pack of douche bags that come in once a week...There's no doubt in my mind, that these ass-hats go out of their way to be a pain in servers and cooks asses...There life is so empty, they have to come in and make themselves feel big by running people ragged...Then after our staff has busted it's ass, these tw@ts tip for sh!t...I'm sure they leave feeling very superior, only to go home, drink a bottle of wine alone, masturbate, and pass out crying...Enjoy douche bags!

Since I mentioned rubbing one out, this gal would like to wish you a Merry Christmas...

Next, Holiday tipping...I'm not talking about Bartenders or waitresses...You know people who work for tips...I'm talking about some stupid sh!t I read...It was an article about tipping people in you everyday life...But these aren't people who work for tips...It was suggesting what you should tip your mailman...No offense, but f**k him! He's got a federal job, with good pay and benefits...That guy makes more me, and he knew what he was getting into when he signed up for the gig...They also suggested tipping garbage men...Um, my over inflated taxes already pays them quite well...You may not realize what city service workers make...The average in this area is about $18 dollars an hour...So sorry Charlie, you won't be getting a card from the Beeze with cash it...Maybe I'll stop thinking about running over you with my car if you stop leaving my cans laying in the street!

For those of you who follow this blog, you may know my daughter asked Santa for a puppy...Not happening...I got her a bike instead...Can't wait be putting that together at midnight on Christmas Eve...We did get her one of those Fur Real dogs...And a book about how to take care of a puppy...Santa is basically giving her a test, and trying to buy my allergies an extra year...

The boy wants Spike the Dinosaur...We got one last night $20 off...Then we had to go to another store...They had spike another $20 dollars cheaper...So we bought it, and took the other one back...Hey, money is money and if I can save some this year, I will...I had started the day in the Christmas spirit...But when we got done shopping, not so much...Then we had a great Italian dinner, and I knocked down a few Christmas Ale's...That got the spirit back...

Both of our kids asked for a baby...NOPE! Not Happening!

Hardest gift I had to buy...I got my Father a Ron Hextall shirt...Hextall was one of my dad's all-time favorites, and he was an animal...I can respect that...But he was a Flyer, and I'm a Rangers guy...So it was tough, but the old man deserves it...

Easy gift to buy...Anal Ease to use on the wife! We both have already made our New Year's resolution...It's to lose weight...There is a certain number I have to hit...If I do, I get to go to that very special, deep dark place...Game on!

Sports news...Josh Cribbs again showed he's a stud in the Browns victory this week...What!?! Two in a row! Please Browns, pay the man...He's the best thing you got!

The Saints lost to Cowboys...Now it's down to the Colts...I hate the Mannings and I don't like the Colts, and them continuing to win is putting that dolt Mercury Morris back in front of Microphones...Could some one please put a muzzle on him for Christmas...

I need to get going here, But lets close with a little Christmas music from the lovely Natalie Gelman...




Merry Christmas to you and yours...

Later, The Beeze.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

More Christmas Time Rants

In Monday Moaning I touched on the PC bullsh!t that has been going on with Christmas time...How so many people want everyone to not be offended, so they want us all to say "Happy Holidays." Well, I've got more to add...

So, there's a Cleveland area school that did a "Holiday" show...They did songs that represented all holidays around this time of year, for all faiths...Including a Chanuka song, partly sung in Hebrew...Hey, that's great...I got no problem with that...Until, it came time for the kids to sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."
Give me a second, I'm trying to stay calm...

They changed the words to, "We wish you a rockin' holiday."
Seriously...I'm not joking...Some f**k stain made these kids take Christmas out of a song, and made them sing one of the hackiest things I've ever heard..."We wish you a rockin' holiday."

First of all, some one should be beaten for this...I'm not even joking about that...Second, at least...At least 75% of the kids in this school celebrate Christmas...But they had to cater to everyone else, while some douche bag in charge had them take a dump on Christmas...People need to be fired...Parents should take there kids out of that dolt run school...And some one needs to be beaten!

Tonight my son, who's in Pre-Kindergarten, had his Christmas Concert...They sang the silly stuff..."Must be Santa"..."Jingle Bells" (they were ringin' the hell out of their bells)..."Frosty the Snowman"..."Santa Claus is Coming to Town"...All that crap, and then they closed with, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." They didn't change the words to something stupid...They just sang it how it was written...And guess what? No one was offended, and we all had cookies and juice afterwards...Thank God my school system isn't totally f**ked yet!

Moving on to something else I touched on Monday...I talked about The Opie & Anthony Homeless Shopping Spree, and how cool it was...And how great it was to see the snobs be offended by these homeless people in their mall...Well it looks like it's not going to happen...

In the past, O & A approached things with a "Gorilla" type of tactic...Act first and ask for forgiveness afterwards...Well the Sirius/XM lawyers stuck their noses in it this year, and thought it would be a good idea to ask the mall for permission...That's right ask the mall if they could bring homeless people there with gift cards, and let them buy things they need...It doesn't sound that bad, right?

Think again...Every mall in the New York city area, along with malls in Jersey, have said no...Don't come here...Don't do charity in our malls...Don't spend money in our malls...Business may be slow, but we don't want poor people in here, even if they all have $200 gift cards and your fans are buying them stuff too...We want no part of it...

It's really sad to think, it's almost 2010, and this is as far as we've come in the United States...It's scary how many human beings are out there, who truly make me sick...I hope everyone of those malls burn to the ground.
Now, with that, let's end with one of my favorite Christmas songs...




Later, The Beeze.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Monday Moaning

Well, the Christmas season has officially started for the Beeze family...You see, it was my daughter's birthday last week...I've always made a point to hold off all Christmas crap, until after her birthday...And yes, I said Christmas season...NOT Holiday season...I don't say "Happy Holidays!" I say Merry Christmas...We all know I'm not a fan of the PC stuff...That let's be nice to everyone sh!t makes me want to puke in my soup...

Listen, if you accept Christmas cards...If you give and receive Christmas presents...If you have a Christmas tree...If you go to a Christmas party, or have Christmas dinner somewhere...You're celebrating Christmas...Enough with this nonsense...Hell, even the Jewish friends I have celebrate Christmas...So knock it off...MERRY F**king CHRISTMAS!

Hell, I think I had a little rant about PC crap like this last year...
http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2008/12/rudolph-bannedwtf.html

So now the craziness has begun...I have many issues, and one of them has to do with the Christmas tree...I'm totally anal-retentive about how it's decorated, which can be bad when dealing with two young kids...So every night after everyone else is asleep, there I am...Fixing the ornaments on the tree...Getting them properly placed...Making sure there aren't any dead spots...It's really kinda screwed up...I stopped doing it in front of the wife last year...It drove her crazy...Look at me, letting you people behind the wall...

Sunday I took my daughter to see Santa...Always a CHRISTMAS time highlight...This year it was an even bigger deal...Some little sh!t in her class told all the girls last week, that there was no Santa...Then his Family moved away this weekend...What a d!ck...Yes I just called a 7 or 8 year old a d!ck...I didn't mind as much as my wife did, but I understand why she was pissed about it...Who cares if we're feeding our kids a big fat lie, right!

So we go and see the fat man...The boy didn't come...He's afraid of Santa...I told him Santa knows when he's bad, so he wanted no piece of that...So there's my little girl sitting next to Santa...This dude is smart, he doesn't have them on his lap...And she asks for a puppy...F**K ME! Jolly Ole Saint Nick looks at me ands says, "She's asking for a puppy Dad." Now I have to figure out how far we want to take this thing on the spot...But, I can be quick on my feet...So I say, "Well little Beeze and I are both allergic to dog fur...So only if Santa can find one that won't stir up our allergies." This prick plays it up real good and says, "I'm sure I can find something!"

I'm standing there thinking, 'I can't be the only guy who's wanted to punch this fat ass out today?'

I'll keep you posted on where the hell this goes...

In the sports world, not much has changed...Notre Dame hired Brian Kelly...This shouldn't be a shocker...They were looking at him since last year...I think he's a good hire, and I think he's going to do good things in South Bend...That said, I do feel really bad for the players at Cincinnati...Having your coach bolt like that is f**ked up...Now, I'm gonna be rooting for them even more...

The BIG story in Cleveland this week...The Browns beat the Steelers Thursday night! WHAT? Yeah, I know...It's crazy! There I was, not really wanting to watch this...But suddenly I was drawn in...The Browns defense was playing tough...8 Sacks..."Are You Kidddin' Me!?!" Josh Cribbs, was being Josh Cribbs, and doing it on national TV during prime time...Brady Quinn managed the game, and didn't turn it over...And some dude named Evan Moore, who they picked up off the scrap heap, has become the best receiver...Hey, don't get me wrong...The Browns still stink...But seeing a win was nice...Seeing the Browns beat the Steelers for the first time in 6 years, was really nice!

In other silly sports news, Tiger Woods is going to take time off from golf...Honestly, I don't care...I just want hear more about all the skanks he's been banging over the years! (Insert drum fill) I think there's more out there...Have we hit 20 yet? I want at least 25...I gotta say this too...Clearly he is the greatest golfer ever...He was banging his hot wife...Plus all these other chicks...And he still managed to hand people their asses on the golf course...Dude may be an asshole...But he's a c0ckstrong asshole!
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This coming week, Opie & Anthony are going to be having their annual "Homeless Shopping Spree." They round up some homeless people, put them on a bus, give them gift cards, and let them loose in some uppity shopping mall, and the air it live...Two great things happen...1. A bunch of fans show up and buy more stuff for the homeless...2. As you're hearing these good deeds, you also hear the snobs being offended by "these homeless people" being in "their mall." Nothing says Merry Christmas like seeing the true ugliness in the beautiful people...And seeing the good in the people thought of as ugly...
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That said, here's a homeless guy O & A had on last week named Daniel Mustard...




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That's it for now...

Later, the Beeze

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Brian Kelly New Irish Football Coach

I've been off the grid for a few days...I'll make it up to you...But I still was paying attention to non-stop rumors...On twitter there was rumor after rumor, and speculation after speculation, all about the next Fighting Irish head football coach...But it was Brian Kelly's name that was always popping up...I was happy about that...So much so, I started following his twitter account...

That same day I started following, it went quiet...Coincidence? I don't think so...

Now, after checking with 12 different sources...It seems to be for real...Brian Kelly is the next Notre Dame head football coach...

Kelly has an overall record at Cincinnati 34-6 including this seasons 12-0 record...In three years at Central Michigan he had a record of 19-16, finishing his last season with a 9-4 record and a MAC Championship...Kelly's has a knack for turning programs around...He did it in Central Michigan, and they are still the top team in the MAC...And he did it at Cincinnati...And I'm sure he'll leave them in good shape...

I've thought for awhile that Kelly is the right coach for this job...Something new...Not a high-profile name, from a big-time school...Not big name, from the NFL getting the job because of his reputation...A reputation that was built up mostly because of other people...Yeah, that's a shot at Weis...

Kelly brings fire, hard work, and knack at getting the most out of his players...Something the last few coaches at Notre Dame haven't...

I'm kinda sad that we won't be able to see Golden Tate and Jimmy Clausen play for Kelly...I think they would have continued to flourish under him...But I can't blame them for going after that big NFL payday...

Go Irish!

Later, The Beeze.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Monday Moaning

Let me first start by saying, I may cut this one short...I'm feeling pretty sh!tty right now...It started about 3:30 AM Sunday...Sore throat, stuffed nose...F**kin' kids! You see we had our daughter's birthday party Saturday, so I'm sure I picked something up from one of the rug rats that was destroying my house! There were 10 girls and the little Beeze, and his buddy...The two boys did much of the damage...And the little boy's sister...It's amazing how a little kid can make you nuts...And this girl can...I blame a lot of it on her mother and her always changing boyfriend...I'm often finding reasons why my kids can't play with this girl...Often them playing together means their mother just dumping her kids on me for hours...So lately, I've been saying, "No, they have chores to do."

But here I am, I feel like I'm spinning out of control already...But one last thing about the party...Little Beeze loved it...Loved the girls all over the place...His buddy was like, "There's too much girls here." My boy was saying, "They're really nice...Let's see what they're doing." And of course, kissing as many as he could!

But let's get to important sh!t...The BCS bowls have been decided...While I think the Fiesta Bowl may be a great match up between Boise State and TCU...I'd rather see each of them play one of the big boys...This way, the BCS gets one of these two teams taking a loss...That and I think they were afraid of seeing Boise State take some one down...And TCU taking some one else down...That would make their stupid system look real bad...Well worse then it already does...

Cincinnati gets to take on Florida...They may have some trouble with the Gators defense...But they sure do know how to score points...I hope they make Tebow cry again...That's right Tim Tebow cried...I loved it!



I have to say, Saturday had some great games...Nebraska almost took down Texas...Pitt and Cincy had an awesome back and forth battle...But one I really enjoyed watching was USF at UConn...Anytime there's football and snow together...I'm watching it!

Sure there was no conference title at stake...It was just two schools playing for pride...And it was awesome...Another back and forth game where UConn won it on a last second field goal...I've been cracking on the Big lEast for a couple years now...But they've had some great games in conference this year...And it seems like the conference as a whole is getting stronger...

There was another game I was watching Saturday night...The Ohio High School, Division 1 State Championship...It was Cleveland Glenville vs Hilliard Davidson...If the Tarblooders of Glenville won...They would be the first Cleveland public school to win a state football championship...

The first half was a defensive battle...The strong defense continued in the second half...But late in the game Glenville went up 15-8...But the Wildcats of Davidson came back with lead by the legs of Quarterback Jake Trubiano, who rushed for 196 yards on 18 carries...The Wildcats scored with 1 minute and 4 seconds left...Then it was decision time...Go for the win, or the tie, and play for OT...Coach Brian White did what he did in 2006...They went for two...It paid off then, why not now...Trubiano took the ball in for the two-point conversion on a play they've never used in a game before..."It's the first time we've used it, but when we started practicing it a few weeks ago, coach said to me, 'This play will never fail,' " Trubiano said...

While I feel bad for the kids from Glenville, I gotta feel good for the kids from Hilliard Davidson...

On the NFL front...The Browns lost, of course...But at least their offense scored some points...My adopted team, The New England Patriots...They kinda looked Brownish, as they sh!t the bed again this week, losing a game they should have won...

I wanna go to bed now, but I can't leave without talking about Fatty Weis...I guess he missed the media being able to take shots at him...So he put his big fat ass back in the line of fire by talking shit about Pete Carroll...This is from interview transcript from IrishIllustrated.com senior editor Tim Prister...

Weis responded: "Let me ask you this question: You guys know about things that go on in different places. Was I living with a grad student in Malibu, or was I living with my wife in my house? You could bet that if I were living with a grad student here in South Bend, it would be national news.

"He's doing it in Malibu and it's not national news. What's the difference? I don't understand. Why is it OK for one guy to do things like that, but for me, I'm scrutinized when I swear. I'm sorry for swearing; absolve my sins."

Really Fatty? Way to air out another coaches dirty laundry...True or not, it's a douche bag move...

Carroll responded by saying, "It's untrue, it's irresponsible and it's incredible he'd be talking about me like that." Later after talking to Weis, Carroll said, "He apologized profusely for being represented wrongly. I'm not commenting anymore."

What Carroll should have said was, 'That fat F**k! He's just jealous cause nobody in heir right mind would want to f**k him...Christ he hasn't seen his d!ck since 1972, that fat piece of shit...Have another cheeseburger and die Charlie!'

Or something like that!

That's it for now...

Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Stormtrooper Update


You may recall, a few days ago I did a post mainly about Grady Sizemore being a dolt...But I also threw in a question about The Stormtroopers' armor...I was wondering what the hell is the point, of the stupid white armor suit...Yes it looks cool, but every time a Stormtrooper got hit with a laser...they were dead...

So why the armor? Why not save money on the fancy uniforms, and put towards better Death Star defenses?

Well, I of course was bouncing around on You Tube, and I'm not the only person who's had questions about the Stormtrooper armor...Take a look...




I knew I wasn't alone...
Now, I'm gonna go do what this Stormtrooper doing...
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Later, The Beeze.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Few Things That Are On MY Mind


So there's been some things floating around in my head the last day or so...Traditionally for me, the only way to get them out is to do a little ranting here on my blog...So let's get this little ball of hate rolling!

First, the story that looks like the sticky booger of the news world...Tiger Woods, this crap isn't going away...What's worse, is I said news world...Even though there are plenty more things that I would consider news worthy, the bobble heads in the media, are just gonna pound the sh!t out of this one...WHY? Sex sells! Fallen heroes sell...And yes, Tiger is a hero and role model to some people...We seem to throw those monikers around too easily...

So here's my view on it all...Clearly he's douche bag...He's earned that title now too...Once you pull the crap he has, you're a douche in my book, and there's no coming back...

The media, can go screw too...If TMZ and the tabloid shows want to pound on this story...Fine...Turning the dirt is their thing...But I shouldn't have to here it right from jump on the nightly news...or my local news...But the sad thing is...If you had one channel covering nothing but real news...War coverage...The idiots in DC...Who killed who today...All that crap...And then you had one channel showing nothing but Tiger Woods crap...The Tiger channel would win...

WHY? 'Cause we're a sick voyeuristic society...Myself included...I just watched bad amateur porn!

Next, NFL Commissioner Rodger Goodell said this week, that he'd like players to inform their teams if they notice a teammate who seems to be suffering from the effects of a concussion...WHAT? Hines Ward blasted his teammate Big Ben, because Ben told the team about his own symptoms...This clown thinks players are gonna rat each other out...What a dolt!
BTW, F**k Hines Ward!
Then he also says he thinks the league should add two more regular season games...Wait...You're trying to deal with the growing number of players who have had serious head injuries, but you think it's a good idea to add more games...What the f**k is wrong with this ass hat!?!

Now, onto something that brought me great joy yesterday...Jesse Ventura was on Opie & Anthony yesterday...He's been on before, and while I think he's nuts...I enjoy hearing is views...I love hearing conspiracy theories, and different points of view...Even if they are nuts...That just makes me feel better about myself...

So Ventura got into it over and over again with comedian Jim Norton...Now, I don't agree with everything Norton said, I enjoyed that he questioned Ventura, and called him out on his bullsh!t at times, and wouldn't back down...

The video I'm going to show, doesn't show everything that happened...So I'll clue you int to a few things...Ventura was so upset that he threatened to kill Norton once...Then later tried to be the tough guy, bully...He just looked and sounded like an ass...

At 3:20 in the video, When Ventura is walking out, Norton questions him on...Ventura says, "There's a f**king guy here telling me I gotta a schedule a$$hole." Except that earlier Ventura told them he had 2 hours because another show canceled...He's a douche!





During his time on the show, Ventura continuously threw it in their faces that they never served in the military and he did...He often brings up his time as a Navy SEAL...Problem is...He wasn't...He was a member of The Under Water Demolition Team, which didn't become part of the Navy SEAL's until 1983...He served from '69-'73...He brought his time in Vietnam..Except it's been reported over the years, that he spent his time during Vietnam in the Philippines...I respect anyone, and everyone who serves their country...But just because guy 1 served and guy 2 didn't, doesn't mean guy 2 doesn't have a right to his opinion...A bad example would be me, who's been cooking since I was 13, saying you're not aloud to have an opinion on food because you never cooked...It's childish, and narrow minded...

Ventura is a nut-job, and douche bag!

If you think I'm being a liberal b!tch...First, go screw...Second, I'll be posting a blog soon, blasting the Democratic party, for being a weak bunch of ninnies lately...

That's it for now...

Later, The Beeze.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Some Things You Should Read...

Just 'cause I said so...

Every once and awhile I like to point out some sites, I like...Or just specific posts that I really like...

So here's a short list for ya...The first one is from Paul Rieckhoff...This man has been leading the charge for our country's veterans...And he's not just some talking head...He is a veteran, and one hell of a smart guy...This post he fired off tonight...But checkout the whole site... http://iava.org/blog/forgotten-cost-war-caring-veterans

The next blog site is "Agent of Change" written by New York rapper Vayrus Waise...I like the way he shares his insight, and really like the posts that include video of him throwing down his rhymes... http://www.agentofchangemusic.com/

For the Hockey fans out there...Check this out... http://fensterblau.blogspot.com/ Fensterblau gives you plenty of hockey info, but does it in his own style and isn't boring and tired, like the way "The Hockey News" has become...

Then of course there's my second home...http://yougabsports.com/ That's right, You Gab Sports, where you can read quality blogs written by the everyman...Or every woman...It's just a group of sports fans, like me, ranting and raving about whatever in the sports world has them pissed off today...No filter there...It's just like talking sh!t in a bar....

Of course I gotta pimp my buddy B-Dub, over there on his couch... http://www.tcpchronicles.com/ he gives it to ya how he sees it, like it or not...I guess the same is true with every site I'm posting here...They're all honest, whether you like it or not...

And speaking of honest...They don't get anymore honest then -A...My old friend from high school, has an incredible blog where she's willing to totally expose herself...Not in that way pigs! People think I share too much.(my wife)...-A lets it all fly at... http://www.weeklyadventuresordinarygirl.com/


Looking for a good book to make you think...Checkout "Atlas Shrugged." A friend recommended it, and I gotta say, I really like it...I didn't think I would, but he was right...I'm getting tired an lazy, so here's a link to give you an overview... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlas_Shrugged


Next on my reading list is Theo Fleury's "Playing with Fire"...I hope I score it for Christmas!

So check these out, along with all the other great sites I have linked over on the right...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Grady Needs More Size / I Don't Get It

Sunday, I saw these shots via a site called The Cleveland Leader... http://www.clevelandleader.com/node/12120

It seems Cleveland Indians outfielder Grady Sizemore likes to take pictures of himself...Pictures of himself playing with his junk...And yes, some of himself naked...



Nice tea cup Grady! Just so the females out there know...I'd have to use the whole 12 cup coffee pot to cover up my gear...Ask Mrs. Beeze...Daddy's got a big yam bag to go with his hog!

But this isn't about me...It's about Grady...I'm not a fan of people saying athletes are role models...But I do realize, and know that a lot of kids in this town look up to Sizemore...So why the hell would he put these out on the Internet...What is he thinking...Never mind that he looks gay...No offense to the gay community...It just a bit of a rumor that's bounced around...And after seeing these, it popped back up...

I just don't get why he would do it...It doesn't make sense to me...But most people in this world don't make sense to me...

Three things are clear...Grady really love himself...He's a dolt...And he ain't packin' that much!

And since I'm here talking about nonsense, and sh!t that doesn't make sense to me...I was watching "The Empire Strikes Back" last night...I started wondering...Why the hell do the Stormtroopers have to wear those stupid white armor uniforms...They do no good...One laser blast from Han Solo and that dumb clone bastard is dead...So why the stupid high-priced white armor uniform...I don't get it!

Tomorrow I'm going to be putting up Christmas lights and crap...Not because I want to...For the kids...I'm thinking of trying something different...What ya think of this idea?

(thanks EK)

Later, The Beeze.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Monday Moaning

"Tiger Woods is the lead story on the network nightly news? The American tv news media shld do the honorable thing and commit hari kari." -Bill Maher (Sunday Nov 29, 9:49PM via twitter)

I totally agree...Yes Tiger Woods is a celebrity, and we often swarm to celebrity scandals...But seriously, that should not be the lead story on the nightly news...Not when the economy is still f**ked...The unemployment rate is still climbing...Our country is involved in multiple wars...And that's just a couple problems in our neck of the woods...But screw it...Tiger may have boned some one other then his wife...You know, 'cause the National Enquirer said so...They never make shit up! Please feel free to slap yourself!

Speaking of slapping dolts...The Fighting Irish lost again...Nice swan song fatty! Stop by the 'Buzz to read all the low lights...
http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/

But there's something else that's been bothering me on the Notre Dame front...Lou Holtz...I know Irish fans, we're suppose to love this crazy old coot...But he picked the Irish to play for the National Championship this year...Then, even when that's well out of reach, he's still hyping the hell out of the Irish...he just can't except reality...Once again proving my point, that old people should have to take a test...If they fail...Eliminate them...

Crap, I haven't even talked about Thanksgiving yet...Let me give ya a quick rundown...I got up early...some day off...Got the 22 lb. turkey in the oven...Made coffee...Got some things organized in the kitchen...Did some cleaning...Got a headache from the little Beeze yelling and getting excited by crap in the parade...Got the rest of the food ready for the lazy, free loading relatives that left this up to me for the 6th year in a row...

We ate...Watched football...Drank Christmas Ale...Cleaned up...Got these people out of my house...Took a nap...Got the kids to bed...Stuffed Mrs. Beeze...Watched "Home for the Holidays"
Went to sleep...Got up, went to the Fish House for "Black Friday"...The very first order of the day...A f**king Turkey Club...What a douche!

Now, lets talk some hockey...Friday night the little Beeze and I were watching the New York Rangers play the Tampa Bay Lightning...the Mrs. took the daughter to the new Twilight movie...Uhhgg...Another mind wasted...Anyway, the boy and I are enjoying the game...Then he sees my rage...He knows it well...Rangers rookie defenseman Michael Del Zotto puts a great check on Vincent Lecavalier...Totally legal...Totally clean...But Vinny didn't like it...So he gets his shit together, and goes looking for Del Zotto...As the play stops, Lecavalier goes after Del Zotto...the kid didn't back down, but his teammate Sean Avery jumped in the way and mixed it up a little with Vinny the b!tch...

My problem with his situation...With Lecavalier...It was a good, clean hit...This has been happening too much the last few years...Every time a guy gets blasted with a hit people drop the gloves...Don't get me wrong, I'm all for fighting in hockey...And if you throw a dirty hit, I'm all for you getting a beating...But if a clean hit is dished out...Take it like a man Hayley Wickenheiser...Enough with this I'm aloud to hit but no one can hit me crap...It's Hockey for f**ks sake!

If you don't get the Wickenheiser reference, here ya go...Thanks to my buddy Hotch...




While, I'm taking shots at the game I love...Is it just me, or does the NHL network blow? Honestly, I'm kinda bored by it...Not a lot of programing...And "NHL On The Fly" could use some work...Nothing like putting people to sleep with hockey highlights...Even the programing on the NHL's channel on XM Radio is lame...But I have the solution...Put me on there...I'll get some of my boys in there and I guarantee we'll get those ratings up...

Since I mentioned XM...Opie from Opie & Anthony posted this on YouTube and it made me say What the f**k? so I'll share it here...




Moving on from that...Saturday, the boy and I were watching the Rangers again...I was hoping for a better result then Friday...He says, "Who do you ant to win?" I said, "The Rangers...In white with red pants." This little shit says, "I want the team in black!" My response wasn't so nice..."What! That's the Penguins! You can't root for the Penguins!" He politely said, "I like Penguins." Son of a b!tch...So I bounce over to the Notre Dame, Stanford game...It's just about to start...He asks, "are you rooting for the team in white Dad?" I replied yes..."I want the red team!" Unreal...5 years old, and he's already a complete and total ball buster...
-
Let's finish this one off with a song...Here once again is Canada's own Billy the Kid...




That's it for now...

Later, The Beeze.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Thanks / No Thanks


Well, it's the night before Thanksgiving...I worked all day...Came home and started working more...I got the dry rub on the Turkey...I roasted off Spaghetti Squash, cooled it down, then scraped it out...Tomorrow it will tossed in a saute pan with butter, brown sugar and salt & pepper...I also roasted the sweet potatoes...Again, brown sugar and butter were a big part of this...The Mrs. has a sweet tooth!

The house is mostly clean for our guests, but I'm sure the boy will trash it twice before everyone gets here...Now, everyone is asleep, and I was just pondering the things I'm thankful for...Which let to me pondering the things I'm not s thankful for...So here's a couple of lists all mixed up together like roasted garlic mashed potatoes...

Thanks: For my amazing, smart, sexy, loving, wonderful, hard working, wife...Who for some reason fell for me, and puts up with my crap...Especially all the crap I write about, that most people wouldn't their spouse to share...

No Thanks: sports fans who act like total and complete douche bags...You may have heard that Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen was punched outside a South Bend bar/restaurant...By who? I loyal Notre Dame fan...I've heard and read a few different versions of the story, but what I get from all of them is this...A "FAN" gave a young lady Clausen was with, some sh!t...Clausen stepped in...Shoved the douche, and got punched in the eye...Listen, I understand Irish fans being pissed...I am...But not at Clausen...The kid has been great this year...He's busted his ass for the team...And you sure as hell don't start sh!t with a girl he's with...You're not a fan...You're an asshole!

Thanks: My daughter...She talks almost constantly...But I'll take it...She's almost 8 and still wants to talk to me...I'm okay with that...She's wicked smart...Like her mom...And honestly, she's the closest thing to an angel, that I'll most likely ever get to know...

No Thanks: The Davey O'Brien Award committe...I don't want to seem like Jimmy Clausen's PR guy, but what the f**k? I couldn't stand the kid when he got to South Bend...And he had a couple of crap seasons...And he's always had a bit of a douche bag swagger...But the award is about this year...And he's been outstanding...Yet he wasn't named a finalist... http://blog.daveyobrien.org/2009/11/23/2009-o’brien-quarterback-award-finalists-announced/

Here's his stats this season...266 completions on 395 attempts...3382 yards...67.3 completion percentage...23 touchdowns and 4 interceptions...

Stupid Tim Tebow's stats...(in the same order) 145 out of 223...For 1945 yards...65%...14 TD...4INT...

Colt McCoy...286 out of 392 for 3024...73%...23TD...9INT...
Casey Keenum...387 out of 553 for 4599...70%...36TD...6INT...

Unreal...Why is Tebow included? Don't give me the "he's a running threat also" crap...he rushed for 706 yards and 11 TD's...Clausen rushed for 3 so he's still got more TD's...And if you add Tebow's rushing yards, it still doesn't come close to Clausen or the other two...F**k Tim Tebow, and all the media dolts swinging on his nuts! No Thanks to him too!

Thanks: My son...He's a pain in the ass...But he gives me good material to write about...He also gives me something else...A glimpse of myself, when I was young...Which leads to him getting a glimpse of my father when he was younger...Via the way I respond to how he acts...We often grow up saying we aren't going to be like our parents...My son has shown me that being like my old man, isn't a bad thing...
No Thanks: Disgustingly fat people making videos, they think are funny, about being disgustingly fat...



Feel free to drop dead now, you fattastic, fatty, pig, fatty!

Thanks: Funny Thanksgiving videos...Okay, it's kinda dumb, but I laughed...Beastiality does that!



Thanks: Everyone who reads this nonsense I post, and keeps coming back for more...I appreciate it...Have a Happy and wonderful Thanksgiving!

Later, The Beeze.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Monday Moaning

Monday has made it's way back here again...And Turkey day is staring me in the face...Yep, my day off from the Fish House will be spent cooking...This is the 6th year in a row I'm getting stuck with it...But my daughter pointed out that traditions are important...Lucky me...

But before I touch on that topic...I have to start with the best NFL game of the weekend...The Cleveland Browns vs the Detroit Lions...WHAT!?! I know, f**king crazy...Who would have thought these two teams would combine for 75 points? Browns fans were on the edge of their seats, with the brown and orange leading 37-31...But the Lions were driving...Then on the last play Stafford launches one to the end zone...Interception Browns...WAIT! interference on the Browns...The Lions get one more play...But Stafford got drilled...He's hurt and on the sideline...WAIT! Coach Mangina calls a timeout...Look who's coming back in...Stafford...Just in time to throw his 5th touchdown pass of the day...GAME OVER! BROWNS SH!T THE BED AGAIN!

In other football low lights...Notre Dame lost again...This time to UConn...They lost a football game, to a basketball school...I shouldn't bitch...I predicted this one at the beginning of the year...But Fatty Weis please! You really don't want this job anymore, do ya? I've had enough with this pig...I go coach high school quarterbacks or something Chunky...BTW, you can read a bit about that crap ass game at
http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/

Speaking of Big, Fat, Pigs...Kansas football coach, Mark Mangino has been under attack, and surprisingly not because of his weight...What a f**king mess this guy is...So apparently, he's the first football coach to yell at players, say mean things to them, crab them by their shoulder pads, and poke them in the chest, with his chubby sausage fingers...REALLY? At least he isn't poking them in the ass!

Maybe he crossed a line or two...I don't know, I wasn't there...But this just sounds like more pussification of the youth in America these days...When I was in 5th grade our coaches called us p*ssies, and a$$holes...Hell, I remember hearing a story about my high school's band director...Something about him telling some one to stop being such a c*nt!

Huh...He was a fat f**ker too...Maybe it's just something about fatties...Maybe they have some pent up fat aggression they need to take out on people every once in awhile...

Look, right here...He's saying, ' You throw another interception, the only salad you'll see me toss is yours!'

Seriously, Jayhawks...Toughen up a bit...And Fatty, get yourself on a treadmill!

Now, let's talk about Saturday night...After Notre Dame sh!t the bed...The Mrs. and I had to go to a surprise birthday party for a friend...I didn't feel like going, but our friends Bryan and May were going to be there, and they're always fun to hangout with...So we get there...OPEN BAR! Okay, this won't be too bad...Yeah, I only knew two people there, but screw it...But wait...There was a DJ...Apparently there wasn't any high school mixers this weekend, because this dolt just played stupid teeny-bopper crap...Look around dummy, the age range was 28-60...(Except for this 21 year douche)...I don't want to hear Miley Cyrus...Unless she's saying, 'Beeze I want you balls deep in my a$$!' There would be a Party in her A! (I hate that Party in the USA song.)

So, we ate, we drank...Drank some more...Laughed at the 21 year old douche trying to spit game at May...Then she asked me how her a$$ looked in her jeans and bent over in front of me...Johnny 21 year old douche fell over and creamed his jeans...By the way, it looked GOOD! I could say more, but I won't...I like being married to my wife, and I know Bryan is going to read this...

Shortly after we had our fill, we headed out, and stopped by a local Irish Pub...Had a drink, and listened to a band play some good old Irish tunes...Including one of my favorites...


Then on the way home, the Mrs. was telling me what a pain in the a$$ the little Beeze was that day, while i was at work...She said, "You know how I get mad when you yell at him before bed time...Remind of today next time." You see, there have been many nights when Mrs. Beeze gets home late from work...And just a hour or two later it's bed time...He's always tough at bed time, but now she realizes, I've been dealing with his crap for hours...Apparently he got her to her own breaking point...After that, I gently caressed her hair, and shoved her head in my lap...

Speaking of the little guy...Today he had his hands in his pants...Of Course...I asked him why he always has his hands in his pants...He response..."I like to have them in my pants." How the hell can I argue with that logic?

Now, with Thanksgiving approaching, I'd like to ask everyone to do a few things for me...Have a safe, and fun Thanksgiving...And be thankful...I know times are tough, and things can get pretty bad...But it could always be worse...I mean if you're reading this drivel, you haven't had your electricity turned off...

Also, after feeding a bunch of family on Thursday, I'll be back at the Fish House for the Black Friday Lunch Rush...Please, if for some reason you're going out to eat with all those leftovers in your fridge...Don't order a Turkey Club...It happens every year...And all I want to do, is go out to the table and cram 5 lbs of turkey down the dummy's throat...Then take a dump on the table...What? Too much?

And lastly...It's Thanksgiving...So drop and gobble...


Later, The Beeze.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

What I Did, Instead of Watching the Browns

I meant to post this sooner, but oh well...Monday night the Cleveland Browns played the Baltimore Ravens on Monday Night Football...I've grown tired of how poorly this team has been run since 1999...I've grown tired of the crappy players and the lame excuses...I gave up on the Browns this year...

There was no way I was going to drive myself crazy watching this game Monday night...I was already crazy enough, because our FOX affiliate bought the rights to show the game locally for those who don't have cable and what-not...I was enraged by this...Why? Because I watch "House." That prick is my kind of doctor...

So, what did I do Monday night? I thought I'd make a list of the things I did...My friend -A likes to make lists...She's very good at at...And write some great blogs...Check her out... http://www.weeklyadventuresordinarygirl.com/

Now, here's my list of what I did instead of watching the Browns game...

1. Continued my campaign of blasting FOX 8's message board, and twitter account, for not showing "House." They did end up showing it at 7:00PM Tuesday night...I DVRed it...

2. I watched some of the Columbus Bluejackets game with my kids...We also jumped over to the Boston Bruins game...Wasn't happy to see them lose to the Islanders...I'm a Ranger fan...Screw the Islanders!

3. After the kids were in bed, and sound a sleep...It was time for Mrs. Beeze and I to spend some quality time bumpin' of the uglies...

4. After that we had a snack and watched the movie "Crash"...I had been wanting to see this since it came out, and I have no idea why we haven't...The Mrs. bought it last week, so we threw it in...

I'm not here to give a full blown movie review, but this movie was awesome...I've never seen a movie delve into race, racism, and racial stereotypes like this...It really shows how truly dark we can be...It slaps you in the face with brutally honest racism...Then kicks you in the groin with how f**ked up and wrong stereotypes can be...Just to belt you again, with a stereotype being right...There's twists and turns not just in the story, or the characters...But also n the viewer...

The cast was great...The only person who stunk was Brendan Fraser...His character is a douche bag...And he pulls it off okay, since he is a douche bag...But honestly, his best role was in Encino Man...Everything else was crap!

If you haven't seen "Crash" check it out...

5. After that, I started reading a book called "The Five Hole Stories." two of my favorite topics combined...Sex and Hockey...How can you go wrong?

Later, The Beeze.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Monday Moaning

Here we are again...The weekend has come and gone, and Monday is here to punch us in the face...But this week is a celebration...Friday, The BEEZEWAX turned one year old...And this week...Tuesday I believe, You Gab Sports turns one year old...Happy Birthday Gabbers!



In case you missed it, I spent Friday night celebrating these birthdays, by passing out some skull f**ks... http://yougabsports.com/pt/1-Year-and-Some-Skull-Fks/blog.htm

This dog thought it was a good idea...



With that said, let's get to the Moaning...Saturday night The Notre Dame Fighting Irish lost to Pitt...You can read all about it...My anger included, here... http://irishbuzz.blogspot.com/2009/11/irish-lose-to-pitt-27-22.html

I'm not happy about the way things are going in South Bend...I think it's time for Fatty Weis to go!

Next up, The Cleveland Browns play the original Browns, the Baltimore Ravens, Monday night...God help us all, the Browns on Monday Night Football...Lowest ratings of the season I'll bet...I'm really hoping Jack and Jill Browns fans show up late...Let the people see an empty stadium...Let the league see what a joke this franchise has become...But there's something else about this, that really has me pissed...

Our local FOX affiliate, FOX 8 paid for the rights to show the game on their station..."For the people who don't have cable." I'm assuming they had to kick both the NFL and ESPN some money...Then when it was looking like the game wouldn't sellout...FOX 8 bought the remaining 3,000 plus tickets before the black out deadline...Why does this bother me? First, seriously, if you don't have cable, or DIRECTV, or something...Please go in the corner and die...It's time to move on douche bag...If you don't have cable, you shouldn't have a TV...Second, "House" Mother f**king "House" is on Monday night!

If you give me the choice between seeing Dr. House treat people like shit, while he saves their lives, and deals with his demons...Or watching the Browns get f**king Mollywopped by the Ravens...I'll take the Dr. with a limp and a drug problem...And if Jamal Lewis plays for the Browns...I hope the Ravens break both his legs!

Okay, I got that off my chest...

In prostitute news this week...Yes, I'm hip to the escort world...The world famous Belle de Jour was outed this week, and many people were surprised to find out just who she is... http://gawker.com/5405209/anonymous-call-girl-author-belle-de-jour-outed-as-slutty-scientist-costume-incarnate

As I'm writing this, the New England Patriots are shitting the bed...and just blew their lead...I hate Peyton Manning...I hate all the Mannings! Son of a bitch! Game over.

Now, onto the little Beeze...regular readers know, he's like his old man...He's a pervert...A 5 year old pervert...He can't let go of his junk...He seems to enjoy getting wedgies...He's a freak...So Saturday, while I was at work...He was having a battle with my wife and wasn't willing to lose...He wasn't doing what he was told, and wouldn't listen...She threatened him with a spanking...(he knows this is an empty threat...She doesn't spank)...So he says, "Oh yeah! Then pulled down his pants...She told him to put them back on...He of course refused...He finally put his pants back on after she had thrown a couple of his toys into a garbage bag...This kid is a pain in the ass!

There's still a good card to pull on him...I have the Santa card in my pocket...Yes, Christmas isn't far away, and he thinks Santa can see all the crap he does...I'll be abusing that card for a month...His Christmas List has a Puppy and a Baby on it...NO and NO! My daughter would like a private jet so she can fly to Hollywood, and France...She's already discovered Johnny Depp...God help me! My wife wasn't happy when I tried to explain to her, that Johnny Depp is a Communist...It's gonna be a long Holiday season...

Let's close with a little Holiday laugh...


Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze.

Friday, November 13, 2009

1 Year and Some Skull F**ks


That's right folks...The Beezewax is a year old tonight...One year ago tonight I started this blog...I was writing at Sporting News, but wanted to be able to post on other topics besides sports...And not have to hear people b!tching and whinning about it...Too much of that crap goes on there...For quality sports blogs, unfiltered...Stop by the Gab...http://yougabsports.com/

So over the last year, I've posted just over 200 blogs about all kinds of stuff...just doing my best to get the voices out of my head...I want to thank everyone who stops by to read this crap...And please keep coming by...I desperately need others approval to feel better about myself...Ha!

There was a post I did titled, "Woman." It still gets views every day...That's f**king cool! But my installments, of The Beeze's Skull F**k Awards, always seems to draw a number of people...And since it's been awhile since I've officially skull f**ked anyone...I thought, 'What better way is there to celebrate the birth of the BEEZEWAX!'

So here I am...Pants unzipped, and ready to plow!

I'll start with my beloved Notre Dame Fighting Irish...Co-Defensive Cordinator, and all around f**king dolt, Corwin Brown...This ass hat decided to take shots at the head coach of NAVY...After his sorry ass defense couldn't stop Navy's running game...As a matter of fact, the only team, the Irish defense dominated all season was Washington State...No offense to WSU, but there are high school teams that could stuff them...Here's what this douche said...


He just called out Navy's lack of imagination on offense...Hey, a$$hole...They don't need to be creative to run all over your sorry ass defense...And no coach Tenuta doesn't do a great job getting you and the team ready on defense...Your defense sucks...It hurts, as a Notre Dame fan to do this...But Corwin, this is gonna hurt you, more then it hurts me...Time for you to eat a d!ck...

Next is Browns running back Jamal Lewis...This b!tch decides he's gonna come out and dog the coach, saying he works the players too hard...I'm no Eric Mangini fan, but maybe he's working you f**kers so hard, because you suck! Here's Jamal's comments...

“The way we work in two-a-days in training camp and the way we work every day on the field for two and a half, three hours, you want a ‘W’ on Sunday when you work like that,” Lewis said. “There’s talent all over this locker room, young and old, but the talent has to be ready on Sunday and to be fresh for Sunday and be efficient on Sunday."

“You can work as hard as you want. You can work all day seven days a week all the way up until Sunday in practice. At the same time, if you’re going to work like that, maybe on Sunday you’re not going to get what you want out of your players.”

First, F**K YOU B!TCH....Second, where the hell is this talent that you speak of...The best player on the team is Josh Cribbs...A special teams guy, who's trying to be a #2 receiver because the team doesn't have anyone else...Talent...Please...Worked too hard...You f**kers clearly don't work hard enough...

Lewis is retiriing at the end of the year...Why wait...Why don't you retire now, with a big, fat, load of the Beeze in your eye!

Next up...Carrie Prejean...Miss California 2009...This b!tch, may be attractive, but she's a total C*NT...yeah, I said it...She's been involved with some scandals...And she likes to walk around witha holier than thou attitude...Listen twat, you were a beauty queen...You recorded yourself masturbating for a boyfriend when you were 17...You act like it was a bad thing, and now you're little miss conservative beauty queen...You double clicking the mouse and filming it may have been the best thing you'll ever do in this life...

But that isn't the end of the story...Watch how this gash acted on Larry King....




First, I hate Larry King...But he did nothing wrong...Second, when she was getting ready to leave, Larry says, "Did you hear the question?" Dummy responds, "No, I can't hear you." What a dope! Third, you're on an interview show to pimp your book...The only reason you got a book deal and are getting interviewed, is because of the contravesies around you...Fourth, the book is called "Still Standing." I'm sure it's full of nothing but the incredible wisdom you've found in your 22 years of being nothing but a little, phony, Barbie Doll, whore...Drop and gobble b!tch...The book should be called, On My BAck Again!


Believe me gang...This little hachet wound is getting more then a Skull F**k frome the Beeze...

That's all for tonight..But it did get heated, and this is a celebration...So lets end this with a little class....



Later, The Beeze.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Why Do People Keep Doggin' This Little Fox?


Once again, I must defend Taylor Swift...Well, not so much defend her...More like call out another dolt, for being a giant bag of douche!

Yeah, I'm talking about you, fatty, Wynonna Judd...If you don't know, fatty Judd was all pissy about Taylor Swift winning "Entertainer of the Year" at the CMA's last night...Actually from what I've been reading, she's been JEALOUS of Swift's success for some time before this...Yes fatty, I said JEALOUS...Apparently Fatty said, ""You want my honest comment? It’s too much too soon." I'm sure Wynonna...I mean Fatty, doesn't like seeing some one so young rising to the top...Especially since it took her much longer...

Listen, I'm not a country music fan...I can't stand it...I also can't stand stupid, f**king, fat pigs, who can't stand to see some one else be successful...

I know Taylor Swift isn't gonna be all, 'Mr. Beeze, you mid-30's, out of shape, married with two kids, blogging piece of deliciousness, thank you for calling Kayne West a douche...And thank you for bashing Fatty Judd, after she dissed me...Is there anything I can do for you?'

First, Yes there is!!!!

Second, I'm still gonna stickup for the girl...What the hell did she do...Let some group of Nashville suits give her some awards...The music business can be evil...And country music has started doing what pop music has been doing for years...Find the young, hot talent, and pump out a ton of stuff, until they're all used up...If Fatty wants to bitch, don't dog Swift...Dog the system...

What this comes down to is Fatty Judd, is jealous of the young, attractive, talented, up and coming stars...She misses being young...She was never attractive...And I couldn't tell you if she was ever talented...I never listened to her and Chunky Judd's (her mother Naomi) crap...

Yep, I just dragged mom into it...Why? Because apparently she likes to treat young, talented, singers like crap too...According to the twins singers, Kate and Kacey, who were on CMT's "Can You Duet, Naomi Judd, who was one of the judges was such a pain in the ass to the sisters...They wrote a song about her called "You're Not My Judge."

Listen, in my opinion, the system sucks...The music business has become crap...It's been heading there a long time...Fatty and Chunky Judd have seen this...They should be trying to offer support and guidance to these young stars...To help them have some staying power...Because until I heard, and read about this...I had no idea these slobs were still alive!

Mix in a salad Fatty...

Later, The Beeze.