"A Man on the Inside" and Working in Senior Living

 

   For the last two years I've been working as the Culinary Services Director at an Assisted Living community. I enjoy my work, love my team and have great fondness for our residents. While my years in the restaurant business helped me prepare for this, as well as my time working in a hospital kitchen and running a coffee shop/cafe, it's a very different animal. My community treats our mealtimes like a restaurant, but it's not exactly like that...It's not a hospital assembly line, but you're intensely aware of dietary needs and restrictions. It's not glamorous and not going to land you on The Food Network, but I'm proud of it. I feel good about myself at the end of the day. 

  A month ago, I binge watched a new series on Netflix called "A Man on the Inside" and fell in love with it. I thought about writing a review of it and then just let that thought fall away. It's funny, entertaining, a hint of mystery, heartwarming, sad and hopeful...and for people in the senior living industry, there are bits and jokes and scenes that are wonderful because we get it. One that had me right away was the Chef telling the Administrator he needed more salt and pepper shakers. She asked him how many he was missing, and he says "40." I have lived this. People with dementia love to boost things.

  The dementia aspect of the show hit me too. I see it every day and before that we dealt with it with my in-laws both going through their progression of dementia. While seeing in a show, had me relive uncomfortable things, it was also nice to see a show that was speaking for the people dealing with the disease as well as the impact it has on their families. 

  But what drove me to write this tonight was a death we had in our community this week. It was a resident everyone loved. Some of our staff knew him for a long time. He was great guy. It was unexpected, sudden, shocking. It felt like a kick in the chest to the whole community. In Senior living you know the end will happen. You accept this part of the job. But with most of our losses, we see it approaching and are prepared for it. This one there was no warning, and it hurt....

  This takes me back to "A Man on the Inside." This very moment is shown in the series. And the pain, and shock, and sadness, and the need to push on, while choking back the frustration & sadness is portrayed perfectly by Stephanie Beatriz, who plays Didi, the Community Administrator. Her character greatly represents those of us that work in senior living. The show isn't about us, so the Chef, Nurses, Aides and Housekeepers are just small characters here and there. Didi is there to give a glimpse of what we all feel and go through. Stephanie Beatriz does it perfectly. 

  I highly recommend the show and can't wait for what comes in season two. Oh, Ted Danson is great in it as well. The guy still does comedy so well. 

Check it out.

 

Farewell Payton

 

I just had my cry at 1:00 AM. I had to get it out of the way because later today I have to be the father and husband and rock. We'll be taking our dog Payton to the vet for the last time and saying goodbye.

We got this handsome Beagle/Australian Cattle Dog  5 years ago from a great place here in Erie called The ANNA Shelter. On their paperwork his name was Peyton, but this isn't a Peyton Manning kind of household, we're more a Walter Payton kind of group, so I changed the spelling. They took him in as a stray. He was there for a long time, got adopted and then was dropped back in to the shelter after he got heartworm and his owner didn't want to deal with it. The shelter took care of it and he sat there for 8 months. 

 I took my daughter there to look at some cute little fuzz ball we saw online. An older couple was signing the paperwork for it when we got there. So we went and looked at the rest. All the dogs were barking and going wild. Jumping and wanting attention. Except Payton. He just sat there, against his pen door, shy and quiet. Eventually we took him outside and spent some time with him. He was sweet and timid. We got my wife and son to come with our other dog to meet with him. (This is a requirement they have.) All went well and he came home with us.

He was afraid to go up stairs and it was a couple months before he tried. He was afraid to go on the couches, but once he realized he was allowed, he loved it. And if you got up he was skootching over to where you were, or he was jumping into your spot from another. 

He was terrified of feet. Walking past him, swinging by him, whatever, he was terrified. It seemed clear he at some point was roughed up and abused. He had this one rib that was screwed up and stuck out weird. Oh, and he didn't bark. it was 4 months before we ever heard a peep from him. But when he found it, and saw he wasn't punished for being a dog, he used it. It was powerful with a howl on the end of it. When he got excited and howled it was hilarious because our other dog, Finnegan (a Shih Tzu) wanted to howl too. Eventually Payton taught him how to get his own little howl out.

Payton was always gentle. Always sweet. He didn't know how to play with other dogs or toys. When he finally played with a toy on Christmas, we were all so excited. He saw this and quickly you saw him walk with a little more pride, and lead you to the treats to reward him. 

Payton loved fleece blankets and he loved to curl up on them, build a nest with them, and sometimes, cover only his head with them.

After his first St. Patrick's Day with us, he got very sick. He was having a lot of stomach pain. We went to the vet and they found out he had Pancreatitis. The Corned Beef did him in. He took some medicine and we watched his diet, and cut out people food. Then this past holiday season we noticed him losing weight but still eating a lot. he was having accidents and always thirsty. They diagnosed him with Diabetes, which is commonly brought on by the Pancreatitis. They also diagnosed him with serious arthritis in his hind legs.

So I've been giving him his two insulin shots a day but things didn't get better. He kept losing weight and was always hungry. Constantly hungry. The Vet's office kept harping on "he needs 600 calories a day" and were somehow missing what we were saying about how much he was eating. Then I gave them a tally of exactly what we were feeding him. Well over 3000 calories a day, and in 4 months he lost 25 pounds. 

We've spent a bunch of money on vet visits and test and medications and enzyme powder to add to his food to help him keep it in and retain some calories. But he would eat and immediately go outside and crap it out. His organs have just stopped doing their jobs. Over the last couple months his vision has been going and in the last few days, he pretty much gone blind. The Vet let me know we have exhausted all of our options for treating and preventing the only guarantee about life...That it ends.

That's him, in his favorite spot...Where ever Mom is, snuggled with her.

It was clear that the first eight years of Payton's life were hard on him. I hope being part of our family the last 5 years washed some of that away for him. I'm glad he got some of the love he deserved. He gave us all the love he had. You'll always be my handsome boy Payton. I'll miss dearly.

Lying, Asshole Trump: Is he Lying About Having COVID?

 

My true feelings is he’s lying...that’s all he does...and he’s it helps him numerous ways...3 hours after we here that cunt say “give me a fucking break” about kids being ripped from their families, these two test positive....

What a CUNT!

He just wiped out the entire news cycle of his whore, wife, being an awful person...How Texas and Pennsylvania Republicans are already fucking with the election and his two con-artists in Michigan screwing with the election...It wipes out his retarded debate performance...And it wipes Biden completely out of the news cycle...

It’s all Trump has COVID.....and then he “recovers” and he says ‘see I told you it’s not that bad’ and his supports will continue to scream how COVID is a “liberal Hoax,” even though the republicans are the ones in power...Oh, and the 210,000 dead Americans...But they and their cult leader Trump don't care about them..."It is what it is"...

It’s all bullshit and it all helps him...no one except me on Twitter last night has the balls to demand to actually see him get tested and watch the test and get the real results...The worlds biggest liar is who has build his brand, career, and Presidency on lying is being taken at his word...fuck that!  All the media not pointing this out are cowards....

I'd also like to know why every single person he has been in contact with recently, is not in Quarantine...That is the standard procedure yet many are still running around and trying to cover up his lies and push through his SCOTUS nominee...That miserable cunt, who is not a Rhodes Scholar...

....Also I'm no lawyer and I don't play one on TV, but if knew he was exposed to COVID and still continued to be in physical contact with others, wouldn't that be considered criminally negligent?

My hope...he has it and many of his tools do as well...and they all die within a week. Fuck him and his whore wife and cunty family and all his lying enablers!

Here's a couple more things to remind you what pieces of shit these people are...

I've got no “thoughts and prayers” for the Trumps! My thoughts and prayers are with the over 210,000 dead Americans and their families because he lied about it and helped fuel his cult and their COVID is a "hoax" bullshit...

I hope you die Donald Trump...and your whore wife too!

Sunday Morning Coffee: More Republican Hypocrisy

 

Republican Congressman Doug Collins tweeted this on the passing of Ruth Bader Ginsburg...

"RIP to the more than 30 million innocent babies that have been murdered during the decades that Ruth Bader Ginsburg defended pro-abortion laws. With @realDonaldTrump nominating a replacement that values human life, generations of unborn children have a chance to live."

These assholes are SO "Pro-Life" that they celebrate someone's death!

Yes, it's real...Here's the screen shot...And no he wasn't embarrassed by this tweet and deleted it...It's still there...

....

I enjoyed this response a great deal....

But why would we be surprised by the Republican Hypocrisy? For fuck's sake Trump insists his Supreme Court Nominee must be "Pro-Life"...Wanting everyone to ignore the fact that over 200,000 Americans have died from COVID, largely because of his lying, misinformation and inaction...

Thing is, I'm not surprised that #MoscowMitch McConnell and Ted Cruz are going against what they said in 2016...Suddenly the rules change for the GOP...And while I know Lindsey Graham is a bitch boy, and I'm not just talking about the long list of tales from male prostitutes who have talked a about all the gay sex he's paid for...But I did expect him to stick to his word, since he fervently went on the record saying in an election year, he would not allow a Trump SCOTUS nominee to be pushed through in an election year...

"Hold the tape!"  Well, we did and you're going against your word you cock-sucking, piece of shit...

You fucking asshole pro-lifers scream and cry about wearing masks, that can keep people healthy and save lives...You scream about abortion...But you don't give a fuck that over 200,000 Americans have died because your Republican President lied...By the way, Trump plays to "pro-life" retards but he is also on tape saying he's pro-choice....

Speaking of Pro-choice...You fuck-tards decided long ago that if I say I'm pro-choice, in your eyes and mind, I am pro-abortion/pro-death...Since that's the way you label me, here we go...I hope you all get COVID and die! I hope Mitch McConnell catches death today...Whether it be via COVID or a bus or any other painful way...I hope Lindsey Graham gets am angry case of AIDS and dies a horrible painful death...I hope the Dementia strikes Trump viscously and completely destroys his brain and body and he strokes out this week and finds his way to your people's Hell...I hope COVID rapidly spreads through the White House and all those fuckers get it and suffer...And you anti-maskers who call yourself "pro-life"....

I hope you and your entire fucking family get COVID and die you hypocritical cunts!

PS: 

 

A Great Loss

Normally, when celebrity dies I may be saddened but it doesn't impact me much...People die...When the great chef Charlie Trotter died, I was greatly saddened...When a celebrity commits suicide, well, for a long time, I shit on them...I understand people have demons, and deal with shit like depression...I do as well, but I have a hard time accepting people who have all the ability and wealth to get the help they need...But this blog isn't about that...It's about the loss of a culinary icon...

Up until 3 years ago, I spent my entire working life in the restaurant business...For a lot of that time, I didn't brag about what I did...I actually felt uncomfortable talking about it...Many people look down on the service industry...Yeah, they want people to wait on them and cook for them and serve them, but they don't really want to know you...Those people are fucking assholes!

I don't even know what my parents thought of my career path...Once they realized I was good at it, I think they were fine with it, but few parents out there are ever saying, 'God I hope my kid grows up to work 70 hour weeks for shit pay, high blood pressure and a drinking problem!'

Then one day I was in a Borders Book Store...Remember those places? I saw Anthony Bourdain's "Kitchen Confidential"....I bought and had read it twice in a week...It's the book I wanted to write but didn't have nearly the experience to do...It was brutally honest and talked about the shit that's never talked about when it comes to the restaurant business...He was one us...Started at the bottom and worked his way up...

The Food Network had been around awhile but it was bullshit...Emeril was a hack that made people think all chefs had or needed a catch phrase...Fuck all That! (that was ours at the Fish House)...Rachel Ray never was and never will be a chef...She was a made for TV salesperson...But Bourdain opened people's eyes to the grind...

Suddenly I felt I could hold my high about what I did for a living...As his popularity grew, it opened many more doors for other real chefs, and opened many more eyes of the public about our industry...His show "No Reservations" took people all over as he taught us about food and cultures so many of us never experienced...and many would be too afraid to try...And when he went to big cities like Boston, he wasn't taking us to big name places and big name chefs...He showed us the underbelly of the culinary scene...Hard working, hard living, chefs taking shit to the next level and not getting the fanfare and not even seeking it...He delved into the underground music scenes, and took us to hidden gems...

Then with his CNN show "Parts Unknown" he took that same format to the next level...Exploring cultures, religions, history and yes, food, from all over the world...He shared the stories of legendary people, that we never knew of...Little tidbits of history they don't teach in school...And the food and drinks...So much we never knew about...so much we want to try now...And one of the greatest things he did.....He championed the little guy...The Hungarian film editor...The no name indie musician...The Detroit chef, in a dead part of town, starting a public garden and making amazing, yet affordable cuisine, hoping to be a small part of turning things around.

Anthony Bourdain was great chef, who started in the dish-pit...If he never wrote great books and did great TV shows, he still would have been a great chef that achieved more than so many of us dream of...But he took his culinary knowledge and his easy way with people, and was able to teach us so much more, about food and culture and humanity...

I don't know what drove him to take his own life and I am greatly saddened by it...I feel he had so much more to tell us and teach us...Maybe I'm just selfish because someone I looked up to is gone...

The Last Year Sucked

It's been a long time since I've done this...Honestly, I may have forgotten how to do it...In my blogging/writing prime, I was posting multiple blogs a day and I was definitely writing every day...Then my life changed drastically and in many ways...I lost time and the drive to write every day...I slipped down to one day a week until I just stopped...Why did I stop...Mainly, because I had written honestly, and was an open book, and I no longer wanted to let everything flow out of me...I didn't want to dig into certain feelings, nor did I want to share much of them...

I think now is time...I think I need to...Because I have become a depressed lump of shit...If you know me, or read the blogs back in the day, you know I've always had a angry streak...The anger is still there, it's not going anywhere...But the depression has built and built...

The Changes 

A few years ago, we moved from Cleveland to Erie, PA...We did it for good reasons...To help my in-laws...Both dealing with dementia...At the time, my Mother was battling cancer...But at that point things were looking positive...She was getting better...She had a brutal battle, but the docs were feeling great with her results...I hated breaking the news to my parents...I felt like I was betraying them...But they understood and supported us...They may have been pissed at us, but they never showed it...

Also, I left my life long career in the restaurant business...That was a plus in the sense that the life is tough for a family...But I loved that evil business...I still have dreams about those days, and one day will find my way into owning my own place...

Then Shit Got Worse

My Mother's cancer came back with a vengeance...It was brutal...Then I quit writing, the day I accepted the fact that my Mom was dying...I played the positive bullshit card as much as I could for the kids, but it was over a good time before she passed...I had fully accepted and mentally prepared myself that she was leaving...There is only one single guarantee about life...It will end...

In a couple days, it will be the one year anniversary of my Mother's death...She was in the hospital, they were managing her pain, and the last week, I was driving into Cleveland every evening and sending the night with her...My brothers and I took shifts along with my dad staying with her...That last morning, I knew she was going that day...I told her we'd be ok...I'll told her it was ok to go...She didn't need to fight for us anymore...When I was getting ready to go, my Dad said, "I'll give you a minute to say goodbye"...He hadn't done that before...He knew too...We all did...So I wasn't surprised when he called a few hours later and told me she was gone...

I got out of bed, and waited for my wife and kids to get home...They had gone to see my mother-in-law...I broke the news to them...The tears flowed, except from me...I'm the dad...At that time, I can't cry...I have to be their rock...I will never forget when my Grandfather (my dad's father) died...I didn't see my father cry...He was a rock for everyone...The day of the funeral, after it was all done, and he had handled what he had to...He went upstairs alone, and for the first time in my young life, I heard my father cry...But I didn't see it...It didn't see him cry until my Mom, his wife of 47 years died....

After I told the kids, and things settled down, I went to take a shower...But first I sat on the bathroom floor crying, and silently telling my Mom I was sorry..."I'm sorry I left you, I'm so sorry"...People tell me I can't beat myself up for moving...People will say they understand, and I didn't do anything wrong...They may be right, but I can't shake the feeling that I betrayed my mom, or that I let her down...

Firsts 

Since that day, every day has been the first something without Mom...And let me tell you, The first Christmas, and first birthday and first this and that (big days) suck an epic sack of balls...But very single day has sucked, because so many of those days are days that I would have called her, or she would have called us...So many things happen and I think, I gotta call Mom and tell her this...FUCK! Kick in the head! I can't call Mom ever again...There is so much we assumed she'd be around for and now life sucks so much more because she's not around for any of it.

I have dreams about my mom and wake up, and the first thought is 'SHIT!' It was a dream...Back to reality...Shitty steaming pile of reality....

I miss Mom every day, if only in the littlest way...A small flower popped up in our yard...My first thought was 'Mom'...I have barely listened to the Beatles in the last year...I hear the Beatles and all I can think of is my Mom...Every Beatles song makes me sad these days...She loved music...Lots of different music, but for me, the Beatles mean Mom...

Where Do I Go From Here

People say when someone you love dies, that it'll get easier...When my grandfathers died, it got easier, but I was young...When my cousin died, I got mad, and found myself questioning every bit of the Catholic religion I was raised in...I was still young and it got easier and kicked my brain into gear when questioning shit...But this is different...This is my Mom...My kids grandmother...A woman I could ask anything, tell anything, and would offer any and all help she could give, and support anything I did...Anything my brothers did...Anything my wife and kids did or needed...I don't know how this gets easier...I don't know how I stop being mad at myself...I don't know how I stop being sad...I'll never stop missing her.


The last year has sucked...There have been good things that have happened...There have been fun times...But it's all overshadowed by the fact that Mom is gone...That I couldn't share it with her...That the kids couldn't tell her about it...

How the fuck does it get better?

Question: "The '59 Sound"

The band, The Gaslight Anthem wrote a song awhile back called, "The '59 Sound"...in the song, a very good question is put to the listener...Death, other than the being dead part, is a great unknown...What happens? What do we see? What do we feel? What do we hear? In this song, the key question is,what is the last thing that we hear when we die?


So, we don't know what we hear...If we hear anything...The question I'm putting to you, and myself, is what song do you want to hear when you die?   What will be the soundtrack of your death?

And no sappy answers like, 'the loving voices of my family'...Nope...No way...What song?


Here is my answer...






Now it's your turn...

What's your death song?

Monday Moaning

All I want for Christmas....Well I have my two front teeth, but I don't have these two Brit models!

Over the last month or two I haven't written about sports...And I won't be again...I haven't seen any...Seriously, Saturday night I watched the third period, OT and shootout of the Bluejackets game...That was all I've seen...In my business, the Holidays is know as "the Season" and the season has been a busy bitch...

My days off have been non-stop chaos over the last couple weeks...Running around with the kids and all their crap going on...Both the girls birthdays...trying to get stuff done for Christmas...We just hammered out the shopping this past week...The wife and I knocked it out in 2 hours...Throwing elbow, tripping old ladies, whatever it took!

We took the kids to see Santa, and stopped at a pet store in the mall...Suddenly, this whole family wanted me to crap money and by another dog...We already have one that they all wanted, yet getting them to walk him is like pulling teeth...So, the foot came down hard, I wasn't getting another dog that would end up mine, I'm fine with Finnegan...And I don't have an extra $1000 dollars or more for a damn pet store dog...I'd rather rescue one or adopt from the APL...Shit, I was already wondering how I was going to pay for all the other shit, then they want to try and sneak in a dog...Bite me!

I was thinking about what to write...It's days before Christmas, do I really want to get into all these asshole protesters again....Protesters who feel it's okay for them to use force, but not the police...Yeah, they can blow me!

Did I want to talk about Police officers being murdered...No...It's fucking horrible...All these ass-hat, race-baiters like Al Sharpton, and these idiot protesters get complete fucking idiots wound up, and they decide they'll make some noise, and rally the cause by shooting cops...No, you just ruined your cause, or what you thought was your cause...Fucktards!

It's just days before Christmas, and I'm not feeling Christmasy...It's rather depressing when major motion pictures are being cancelled because some angry little bitch had some hackers sift through rich people's emails...And police are being killed because people are mad that a scum-bag who had been arrested 30 times, resisted arrest, and got himself dead...And people are saying "Black lives matter!"  But apparently they don't care about police lives...Well, lets be honest, they don't give a shit about any lives...They just want to bitch and have an excuse to act like assholes...

I love Christmas time...But there's no snow on the ground, and the news is full of hate, and mistrust, instead of caring, love, and peace...I'm going to remove the news apps from my phone...I'm not turning on a news station either...In my limited time off of work, I'm going to hunker down with my kids and watch Christmas movies...I've got to get my Christmas vibe on before I choke the shit out of some one!

I'll have to listen to some of those tunes I posted last week...And this one too....





I guess that the best thing to do...Put on some Christmas tunes and movies, and hang with the ones you love the most...and try to block out all the bullshit!  I'm going to get on with that...Sorry for the short, rambling, post...

I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas...

The Beeze

Black Friday....

 

Well, for some it's black Friday...But for me, fuck that...

I think this week, for Rosie and I...It feels like a Blue Friday...

Now this may get uncomfortable for some people, but that's too bad...It would be easy to bang out a 'What I'm thankful for' blog, or talk turkey and football...But why would I want that...

Much of my life, I've been called a "Liberal" and it hasn't bothered me...Not all my views are truly "Liberal" but I've been called much worse...And the fact of the matter is, in this day and age, Lincoln and Eisenhower would be considered "Liberal"  and I would consider them greater Republicans then the almighty Reagan...But the fact is my views touch both sides, which is where I think most people end up, which would explain why people are so disengaged in the political system these days...

What I'm about to say will not be viewed as "Liberal" and they may actually take my card away...

The media has been pushing this story in Ferguson, and from what I saw on CNN, they took the Mike Brown side...I would like to point out this bit of info...All those assholes who rioted, and looted, and burned down businesses, if you had any important to say, any view you felt needed to be heard, YOU BLEW IT!  Brown's stepfather stood on car and shouted, "Burn this bitch down!" repeatedly...And you fucking dolts listened...I no longer feel bad for the Brown family, because you just ruined innocent people's lives...All in the name of your son who you said was innocent...

Except he wasn't...He robbed a store...There is video of it...But everyone want to ignore it...The same store he robbed, was destroyed, because Ferguson cares so deeply for innocent people! He didn't listen to a police officer, then got physical with him...Then charged the officer when the officer went after him...Brown then got dead...And I don't feel bad about it...Because while you looted, and rioted, and started fires, and threatened innocent people, I read the Grand Jury transcripts...70 hours of testimony, and evidence, and witnesses, including some that admitted to originally lying about the events leading up to Brown's shooting...And the fact that Brown didn't have his hands up...So put that shit to bed already!

If you know me, you know I have often referenced a couple police officer uncles, that told me "never trust a cop"...And there have been plenty of times when I have voiced displeasure with the police...But not this week...

But wait, there's more...This past Saturday in Cleveland, a 12 year old boy was shot by police, and later died...A 9-1-1 call came in that there was "a man with a gun by the swings"...There is surveillance video of the boy, playing with the gun...Pointing it at people...Acting like a punk...When police rolled up on him, instead of putting his hand up, he reached for the gun...The video shows all this...The officer on the passenger side dives out of the car and fires at the suspect...The officer rolled, and got to his feet behind the car, as his partner got out and was taking aim at the now down on the ground suspect...They didn't know he was 12...Nor did they know the gun was a bee-bee gun...The evidence photo makes it clear, that the gun looked real...Should it matter that the kid was just 12?   It matters to many people, but when you have a split second to make what could be a life or death decision, are you really trying to figure out the person's age?  Are there questions? Yes...Could the officers handled it differently? Sure...That doesn't guarantee a different outcome...It's real easy for us to sit here and judge how some one does a job that we aren't willing to do ourselves...

And it would be the first time a kid used a gun...Just Wednesday, near where this shooting was, juveniles were arrested for robbery...And yes, kids were packing  bee-bee guns...

I can't fault the Cleveland Officers for how they responded...Yeah, a kid is dead, and that's horrible, but attacking the police, and threats to the officer are wrong...

And then there were the protesters...They remained peaceful in their protest here in Cleveland...I was happy to see that...But at one point they decided to walk up on the Shoreway bridge, and stop rush hour traffic...People were stuck in traffic for 3 hours...The police let it happen, and did not get confrontational...They shouldn't have...It's on the books people...It is illegal for pedestrians to be on that bridge...To be on that highway...They should have fire hosed every fucker off of there...

What would have happened if an ambulance needed to get through and couldn't? What if some one was in their car, going to the hospital, and then was stuck? They couldn't get there, they died...The ambulance couldn't get through to save some one...Would the organizers be charged with manslaughter?  They should be...Protest is fine...Breaking the law to do so isn't...Are the organizers going to pay the extra parents were charged because they were late picking up their kids from daycare? I doubt it...I'm glad I wasn't there...It would have been hard for me to not step on the gas, or get out of my car and start swinging...

Hey, I'm glad you want to question the system...I'm glad you were motivated to protest and speak your mind...That's great...But if you're breaking the law, then you're no better then those you are questioning and protesting...And again, you weren't in the officer's shoes during that split second...

And let me ask this...Why is anyone still listening to Al Sharpton...The man is a liar, and crook...

And since Al wants to make everything about race...Let me play a race card back at him...Convicted black, felon Kenan Ivery, has been charged with shooting and killing white, Akron Police Officer, Justin Winebrenner, on Sunday, 11/16/14...Ivery has also been charged with wounding four others. This past Saturday Officer Winebrenner was laid to rest ... without a single instance of rioting, looting, or burning.

Now was it necessary for me to put the race of these two men in this story? No...Should I have taunted black people that white people didn't act like fools? No...The story is a piece of shit, shot multiple people, and killed a cop...And a possible side note, that no one called for riots, but properly paid their respects to the fallen officer, and his family...Not everything is about race...Bad shit just happens...

Have a week

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

This week's Monday Moaning is feeling slightly different...Sure, I managed to post a pic of a nice set of cans...That's kinda what I do here...But the words won't be wrapped up in tits, ass, and sports...this week I'm looking a little deeper inside myself...

On this Monday, an old friend, a childhood friend, is being laid to rest...I hadn't even thought much of her over many, many years...Random, occasional memories from the distant past pop up once and awhile...But not often...Then another old friend posted an old pic of them together, and it got me asking questions...It seems many of us lost touch with her, and a couple had been looking for her...They found her, fighting cancer for the second time, and losing this time...

For two weeks the images of her face, an amazing smile seemed to be haunting me...Had I been a dick to her at times? Of course I had, I was dumb, horny kid, and she had boobs...I'm sure I said and did idiot stuff...Had I been nice? Had I been a good friend? I know I had at times...I do have some memories left in this head full of voices...But clearly I hadn't been a great friend...I won't lie, I've been somewhat surprised by how much this old classmates passing has bothered me...Yes, 38 is far too young to die...But it's more then that...

I remember when I first got on Facebook, and all this other social media...How fucking cool was it...I was suddenly reconnecting with old friends, and connecting with new ones...Awesome...Well, it's easy to say we reconnected, if that means I 'saw your kids pics on facebook'...'I favorite your tweet'...But are we really reconnecting? Maybe we're just getting a glimpse of our old friends lives, as well as giving  a glimpse back...

Yes, we all grow up...We change over the many years...We go different directions...We get jobs, get married, have kids, We gain weight, we lose it...Well, you may have lost it, I haven't...We pay bills, and more bills...(by the way, anyone have an extra $10,000?)....We lose track of time, let alone people...Our plans don't always work out as we hoped, or expected, or wanted...Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse...

It's not hard to lose track of friends...The hard part is keeping them in our lives...Finding the time do more then just post something on facebook, or shooting a text blast...I mean actually talking...Seeing each other...Life and our obligations get in the way easily...But I want to make a slight change in my life...I want to make time, no matter how brief, to be a better friend...To actually see some people I use see...That I use to know...I' not sure how, and I'm sure it will be a pain in the ass at times...But an old friend named Lauren made me realize that I've lost touch with a lot special people over the years...At the end of or time at St. James her quote in the memory book was "Get out there and change the world, you lazy bums!!" 

Well, I may not be changing the world, but I'm gonna work on changing my world slightly...

Rest in Peace Lauren

Monday Moaning...Yes, I'm Late....

I was drunk!

It was a crazy busy Sunday night at work, and I had to buy the guys a drink...And I needed one myself...And suddenly it was a few more...I got home, ate some leftover pot roast and passed out in the chair...The dog enjoyed some scraps!

He definitely enjoyed them more then he enjoyed his Halloween costume...

Look at his face in this next one with Molly and Little Beeze...

He looks pissed!

So, the media/news these days is driven by what is going "viral"...What is trending on Twitter...What the big YouTube video is...And this past week, this video got all kinds of heat...




The Internet, and the so-called "news media" were shocked at men still "Cat-call" women...WHY? Seriously, how the fuck is this shocking? Men are pigs...I'm a man, and I'm a pig...I can be honest about it...Most of us can...But seriously, watch the video...

OK, homeless guys said shit...That's what they do...I live in Cleveland, I've seen homeless bums and pan-handlers...They talk, to anyone, about anything, and nothing...Now you throw a chick with tight pants and a tight top into the mix...Holy-fucking-game-on!

Yeah, I said it...I'm calling them on this shit...She's not a 10...But she isn't wearing baggy pants, and an oversized hoodie like she does at home, while stuffing ice cream in her face after her latest breakup...She painted on some jeans, and got a nice, tit-snugging shirt on...The chance of "cat-calls" just multiplied by 10...

Next, I'd like to see the whole fucking ten hours she did this...Did she really say nothing the whole time? Clearly this was edited to give us an example of the elite scumbags...Were there any nice guys that didn't stare at her ass, but looked in her eyes and tried to have a chat...Maybe spit some real game...Offer to take her to lunch, or meet for coffee some time...Probably were a couple good guys...She's probably fucking one of them now...

Do, I have any facts to back up my claims...No more then this bullshit video does, by insinuating that all guys are one step away from being a rapist...As a matter of fact, most of the comments made to her, were not offensive at all..."Have a nice evening"...."Hi Beautiful"..."How you doing?" "How you doing today?"...One guy even said, "Smile!"  Heaven for-fucking-bid...And you know what, when guys say "DAMN!" it's fucking compliment...Be happy some one gives a shit enough to look at you, let alone, inform you that they are attracted to you...Be happy, some guys let you know you're fuckable!

I'm sorry folks, but our media has made some bullshit into a story, again...And while I'm here...That bitch, Brittnay Maynard, that the felt the need to tell the world she was going to have herself wacked (yes I know that's not the technical term)  because she was dying...Why do we care?  Assholes kill themselves every day, and no one gives a fuck...So she was sick, and dying...We all are, just at different rates of speed...But she had to have her "Look at me" moment before she died, because that's what our society has become...If some one would have given her a TV show, she'd still be alive and would want us all to watch her bite it during sweeps week...You know what, Glad she did herself in...One less needy gash on this Earth...

I also found it amusing the number hugely religious people I know who were all about this chick, "Dying with Dignity"...Yeah, I though suicide was a sin fuck-sticks!?!

I feel I have come across as a woman hater today...I'm not...I love you ladies...I just hate bitches!

And while I'm sitting here on the unpopular side of things, all in with offending people...I would also like to defend Chris Rock for his Monologue on Saturday Night Live this past weekend...Chris Rock hit some touchy buttons making jokes about the Freedom Tower, and the Boston Marathon bombing, and tied it all in with how commercialized this country is...People seemed to hear Boston Bombing, and didn't really bother to listen to where he was going...




Dude said some smart shit, and some funny shit...Pull your panties out of you crack, and grow up people...

I always revert back to the late, great Patrice O'Neal when it comes to "funny" and you can joke about anything....





That's what I got...

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Israel, Don't Throw Away Your Humanity

Hmmm...That should stir some emotions...It's a pretty sad picture isn't? So is this next one...

In case you don't quite get it...That's his child...These picture don't get a lot of play from the U.S. media...Why?  because these people are Palestinian....And for my entire life, the crooked politicians, and the media, run mostly by dolts have told us that Israel is our solemn ally, and we must support them no matter what...Sometimes allies are wrong...You know, like the top 3 spies caught spying on the U.S. were from Israel...

Before we go any further, this is not an anti-Israel, anti-Semitic post...This is just my honest opinion...And you will never hear, read, or see me supporting Islamic Extremists and a terrorist group such as Hamas...This is simply me trying to make people aware that for ten days, while everyone was fixated on LeBron James, innocent Palestinian children have been getting ripped to shreds by Israeli bombs...And I'm not joking about the LeBron shit...Luke Russert  lost any once or credibility and tarnished his father's great reputation when interviewing a congressman, he cut him off, stooped everything, and announced that James had decided to sign with the Cleveland Cavaliers...

And yes, plenty of innocent children in Israel have been killed over the years of constant, insane warring in that region...But I'm talking about right now...We can't do anything about the past, other then making the future better...

We always hear about how Israel is mistreated in that region...But it wasn't until I had a friend who's family was Palestinian that I found out just how awful Israelis treated them...No, it's not as bad as how Jews were treated by the Germans...But it's still bad...Yes, Hamas has done awful things, but that doesn't mean throw away humanity...That doesn't mean lobbing bombs on a beach where innocent children had been playing soccer...

Anthony Bourdain Tweeted about this picture...Maybe it’s the fact that I walked on that beach—and have a small child that makes this photo so devastating. #Gaza

No matter who you are, and where you've been, this should be devastating to you...

Shortly before this happened, NBC reporter, Ayman Mohyeldin had been kicking the ball with them...Four children were killed and three more were wounded in the Israeli airstrike...Mohyeldin tweeted this picture, along with a picture of a crying mother...He tweeted the facts of the children being bombed...Shortly after simply reporting what had happened, NBC removed him from his post...This bothers me greatly, because everytime  some one calls Israel out for the horrible shit they do, it's swept under the rug...They are shut up...Just because some one is considered an ally doesn't mean we should bite our tongues when they are being fuck-ups...

Israel is being a fuck-up...





After all this, I would have hoped to see Israel try to de-escalate the situation, but instead, they started rolling ground forces into Gaza today...I'm sorry Israel, I can't support you right now...You have indiscriminately killed innocent men, women and children, and instead of trying slow things down, trying to get some civilized talks going, you are pushing for all out war...You actually seem hell bent on wiping out the Palestinian people...You're throwing away ever once of your humanity you have, and I would have expected more from an "ally."


The Beeze.