Monday Moaning

As I said on facebook and twitter....

THANK YOU GHANA! Now maybe we have to hear about Soccer anymore! My God am I sick of these suddenly soccer fans out there... Other then that Donovan guy...Name me the U.S. starting 11...You probably didn't even realize it was 11 guys out there...Why don't you tell me again, "There great athletes!" Are they douche bag!?! 'Cause I don't think we'd be seeing any of them playing Football, Hockey, Basketball, or Baseball...But I bet Bo Jackson could have played some f**king soccer...They aren't great athletes...They're great joggers...That's what they do...They jog around the field for 2 hours, with an occasional burst of steam, for a brief scoring chance, that fails...Game over, you wasted 2 hours!

As you can see, I don't like Soccer, and I give ESPN some of the blame...They've made me think about Soccer, the same way I would think about a dick...I don't like it, and I don't want it forced down my throat!

Hell we should just throw in the tweet of the week right here...

JimNorton "While I am bummed we won't win the world cup, at least Americans can go back to hating soccer for the boring sport it is."

Here's another one from Jim Norton, poking fun at himself...

JimNorton "Speaking of unfuckable disasters; a screen cap of me from Red Eye on Fox. http://moby.to/7kmo5b "


Moving on...I've been critical of Baseball, and Cleveland over the past year, or two...Well why stop now?

First I want to touch on the Indians...I've been going through the moves GM mark Shapiro has made...He's moving into the President position, and one of the tools below him, has by hand picked to fill the GM role...So things aren't going to get better anytime soon...Here are some of the moves...And hey, I found a couple good ones...Let's start there...They traded Casey Blake for Catcher Carlos Santana...He's an average catcher, with a hell of a switch-hitting bat...Sounds just like Victor Martinez...Santana is part of the reason they felt they could move Martinez for some young pitching...Sadly the young pitching the Indians got for Martinez was Justin Masterson, who is below average in every sense of the word...My tee-ball team fields better then this dope...He's an awesome 3-14, with an ERA of just under 5.00 since joining the Tribe!

Then there was Cliff Lee to Philly for 2 pitchers who have struggled in the minors...One has now had 2 arm surgeries...Lou Marson, who is an awful catcher, and can't hit his weight...And average, infielder, Jason Donald, who ruined a perfect game by being called safe when he was clearly out! The biggest problems with these two trades were...They were bad trades...You got shit! And, both Lee and Martinez still had another year on their contracts...They didn't need to rush on these deals...Even though Shapiro had what teams wanted, and was in the drivers seat, he let them push him around...He's an ass! Oh, and don't forget C.C.Sabathia for 3 average minor leaguers!

And people wonder why I've given up hope in this team...Sit down and watch an entire Indians game...It physically hurts...That's how bad they are...

Also in Cleveland...There are so many people just dying for July 1st...They can't wait for free agency in the NBA...These dolts all think LeBron James, and every other free agent are going to sign on that very day...WAKE UP DUMMIES! Not gonna happen...He's making you f**kers wait...And yes, many people feel LeBron is going to stay in the Cleve...I honestly have no idea how people can live in this town, and still think positively...Good luck with that!

Since I'm just beating on Cleveland, let's talk about my trip to the grocery store Sunday...I do most of the shopping...Why not, I gotta cook the shit...She'll just burn it...So I'm there, and I start noticing fat people...Believe me, I've got plenty of extra pounds on me right now, but these people were seriously fat f**kers...The first one I really noticed was this old broad in a wheel chair...She was in it because she was so f**king fat, she couldn't walk...What was she doing...Stuffing her face with about 20 free samples that were sitting outside the deli...Next up for fatty was the bakery...

The last fatty I saw was in one of those motorized carts, and you could just smell the diabetes coming of this guy...Then you look in his cart...I shit you not people...16 six-packs of 20 oz. Pepsi Bottles, a pack of hot dogs, a pound of Ham, and pack of American cheese...Way to fast-track death Chubs!

Now, we come to the point where I talk about my son...The Little Beeze...First, Tee-Ball...The Seawolves are doing well...By my standards we won our first two games...Since they don't keep score, and the whole lineup bats, no matter how many outs are made, and all the other silly rules, I go by how many outs are recorded...In the first game we recorded 4 outs, the other team 1...The second game we recorded 4 again, and they got 2...So in my book, we're 2-0!

Second part about the boy...He can wipe his own ass...BUT...We don't always trust him, so sometimes we check...Sunday he was going a lot...So I told him to call me when he was done, and I'd wipe him, just to make sure he wasn't leaving anything in there...Or on the floor...Or God knows where...So I'm wiping his ass, and he says, "Use a wet one!" (meaning baby wipes) It was a bit messy, so it made sense...Then as I'm wiping his ass, he says, "That feels so good! So good!" So now we know why he was in there so much...The boy is a freak...He must have heard us that time the wife finger popped me in the ass! (Not in a gay way guys!...Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

Now with that, I leave you with an ad for Louis CK's new show that starts Tuesday on FX, right after "Rescue Me"...It's gonna be good!




Have a great week...

Later, The Beeze