Sunday, December 13, 2009

Monday Moaning

Well, the Christmas season has officially started for the Beeze family...You see, it was my daughter's birthday last week...I've always made a point to hold off all Christmas crap, until after her birthday...And yes, I said Christmas season...NOT Holiday season...I don't say "Happy Holidays!" I say Merry Christmas...We all know I'm not a fan of the PC stuff...That let's be nice to everyone sh!t makes me want to puke in my soup...

Listen, if you accept Christmas cards...If you give and receive Christmas presents...If you have a Christmas tree...If you go to a Christmas party, or have Christmas dinner somewhere...You're celebrating Christmas...Enough with this nonsense...Hell, even the Jewish friends I have celebrate Christmas...So knock it off...MERRY F**king CHRISTMAS!

Hell, I think I had a little rant about PC crap like this last year...
http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2008/12/rudolph-bannedwtf.html

So now the craziness has begun...I have many issues, and one of them has to do with the Christmas tree...I'm totally anal-retentive about how it's decorated, which can be bad when dealing with two young kids...So every night after everyone else is asleep, there I am...Fixing the ornaments on the tree...Getting them properly placed...Making sure there aren't any dead spots...It's really kinda screwed up...I stopped doing it in front of the wife last year...It drove her crazy...Look at me, letting you people behind the wall...

Sunday I took my daughter to see Santa...Always a CHRISTMAS time highlight...This year it was an even bigger deal...Some little sh!t in her class told all the girls last week, that there was no Santa...Then his Family moved away this weekend...What a d!ck...Yes I just called a 7 or 8 year old a d!ck...I didn't mind as much as my wife did, but I understand why she was pissed about it...Who cares if we're feeding our kids a big fat lie, right!

So we go and see the fat man...The boy didn't come...He's afraid of Santa...I told him Santa knows when he's bad, so he wanted no piece of that...So there's my little girl sitting next to Santa...This dude is smart, he doesn't have them on his lap...And she asks for a puppy...F**K ME! Jolly Ole Saint Nick looks at me ands says, "She's asking for a puppy Dad." Now I have to figure out how far we want to take this thing on the spot...But, I can be quick on my feet...So I say, "Well little Beeze and I are both allergic to dog fur...So only if Santa can find one that won't stir up our allergies." This prick plays it up real good and says, "I'm sure I can find something!"

I'm standing there thinking, 'I can't be the only guy who's wanted to punch this fat ass out today?'

I'll keep you posted on where the hell this goes...

In the sports world, not much has changed...Notre Dame hired Brian Kelly...This shouldn't be a shocker...They were looking at him since last year...I think he's a good hire, and I think he's going to do good things in South Bend...That said, I do feel really bad for the players at Cincinnati...Having your coach bolt like that is f**ked up...Now, I'm gonna be rooting for them even more...

The BIG story in Cleveland this week...The Browns beat the Steelers Thursday night! WHAT? Yeah, I know...It's crazy! There I was, not really wanting to watch this...But suddenly I was drawn in...The Browns defense was playing tough...8 Sacks..."Are You Kidddin' Me!?!" Josh Cribbs, was being Josh Cribbs, and doing it on national TV during prime time...Brady Quinn managed the game, and didn't turn it over...And some dude named Evan Moore, who they picked up off the scrap heap, has become the best receiver...Hey, don't get me wrong...The Browns still stink...But seeing a win was nice...Seeing the Browns beat the Steelers for the first time in 6 years, was really nice!

In other silly sports news, Tiger Woods is going to take time off from golf...Honestly, I don't care...I just want hear more about all the skanks he's been banging over the years! (Insert drum fill) I think there's more out there...Have we hit 20 yet? I want at least 25...I gotta say this too...Clearly he is the greatest golfer ever...He was banging his hot wife...Plus all these other chicks...And he still managed to hand people their asses on the golf course...Dude may be an asshole...But he's a c0ckstrong asshole!
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This coming week, Opie & Anthony are going to be having their annual "Homeless Shopping Spree." They round up some homeless people, put them on a bus, give them gift cards, and let them loose in some uppity shopping mall, and the air it live...Two great things happen...1. A bunch of fans show up and buy more stuff for the homeless...2. As you're hearing these good deeds, you also hear the snobs being offended by "these homeless people" being in "their mall." Nothing says Merry Christmas like seeing the true ugliness in the beautiful people...And seeing the good in the people thought of as ugly...
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That said, here's a homeless guy O & A had on last week named Daniel Mustard...




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That's it for now...

Later, the Beeze

5 comments:

aking said...

First Happy holidays or Merry Christmas. Who fucking cares it's all commercial anyway. Second get your daughter a dog toy that moves and shit. There has to be one out there. Third that homeless guy looked pretty clean which means that they cleaned him up or he hasn't been homeless for very long. Either way it is sad and he did a great job. I was expecting something totally different. Anyway merry gift giving and I hope we can get together in the new year.

-A said...

LMAO... The Santa thing is priceless! I missed the visit to Santa. I'm not a big Santa fan, I'd much rather he just write letter.

If I stand in line for 2 hours someone had better give me something freaking awesome. An old man that smells of BO is not on that list.

The BEEZE said...

-A, LMFAO! Santa is a prick!

aking, we all need to get out together again soon...

Chris Agresta said...

Can't agree more on the Christmas rant. My wife work for a large insurance company that a few years back re-named their Christmas party "winterfest". Funny, I have never seen non-christian employees turn down the year end "Christmas Bonus"............I was shocked by the Browns performance as well, Steelers really look like they packed it in..........Had to tell finally tell my 9 yr old daughter there is no Santa, Easter Bunny and tooth fairy, can't beleive she made it this long........If coaches like Kelly can move on at the drop of a hat, then players shouold not be forced to sit out a year if they transfer......Later..

The BEEZE said...

Chris, I totally agree, players shuld have the option to leave without being penalized, if the coach that recruited them leaves.