Thursday, February 19, 2009

Women

I love women....How can I not...

The other day I was thinking about all the women I loved...Or lusted...Or screwed...Or should have screwed....What brought this up....My daughter...She asked if I ever was loved any girls besides Mommy...I didn't lie and say NO...But it crossed my mind....Yes, I'm that dad that doesn't want his daughter to know about boys and the joys of sex, and the pain of heartache...But I know that's not gonna happen...She's the product of my wife and I...Which means I'm in for a lot of worrying in the coming years...NO F*CKING PUN INTENDED THAT TIME...

But I did give her the whole deal about how Mommy is my one true love...I truly believe and have no problem with my kids believing in fairy tales...Then she asked me if I had any pictures of any other girls...She didn't mean the ones in my porn vault...She was talking about girls I dated...I said no...She then reported this to her mother...

My wife then asked if I really didn't have any old pictures...No I don't...I threw them all away right around the time we got married...One old high school sweet c*nt...I mean heart...I burned her pictures in my buddies driveway...So the wife said "what about memories?" Well I have a great memory...I always have...Any memories I have are in my head...And if you're one of the ladies from my past, I remember you...

What makes you women so great...Breasts...Yes seriously...What else? A nice ass is always good...Oh yes...The Vagina is a wonderful thing too!!!

Yes I know there's more to women then the fun parts...There's nothing like a woman's eyes...Especially when they are looking up at you with your c*ck in their mouth...

I love women's hair...I prefer it long...Hey, you like a long d!ck...I like long hair...It doesn't have to be down to your ass, but at least to the shoulders...Hair color...Well I like the basic blond, brunette, and red heads, but it's okay to mix in a freaky chick with some purple, or some other goofy sh!t...Mix it up, that's what I say...Mrs. Beeze is a "dirty blond"...I like that...The name and the color...But my favorite has always been RED HEADS....There is something so god damn sexy about red heads....There's some kinda magic power in that red hair...So if my wife reads this now she'll understand why I'm always trying to get her to color her hair with a little red tint...



I like glasses...Glasses are sex...and they are good protection if you're more of a painter then a swallower...



I love women wearing "boy shorts"...I don't know why the f*ck they're called that...If I ever saw a dude wearing them I'd puke, then punch him in the face...
Thongs are good too...Easier to pull to the side...Don't wear a thong if you've got even a hint of cottage cheese...That's just rude and gross...
-
I like you wearing stockings...I like you wearing those tight little shorts that say IRISH across the ass...Mrs. Beeze has a couple pairs...I love those...Reverse Cowgirl...Pull them to the side...Oh yeah...
-
I could go on all night with this love fest, but I'm getting a little excited, and well, I need to get the poison out....I know there are many other great things about women I haven't touched on this evening...We may have to do multiple volumes of this....
-
The words in this post are my true feelings...not all of my feeling, but some of the more light hearted ones...So please don't get your boy shorts in a bunch...Just trying to get out some of my hornyness, and have a laugh...
-
Later, The Beeze.

11 comments:

Unknown said...

you crack me up, and I mean that in a good way.
my husband has a thing for red heads too, sadly for him my hair only looks good in the brunette family. Lucky for me, I think I've converted him

The Prodigy said...

I'm with you brother...I just love them all! Women are the greatest form of entertainment, company, inspiration, and $3X!!

This is a great read...I have a daughter of my own and can relate.

Anonymous said...

OK Beeze ... I'm up early because I can't sleep ... and yours is the first post I read. How and the heck can I expect to get back to sleep now!?!?!?!?

I guess that's my way of saying well done.

CNN's Kyra Phillips is my fav red head ... although her CNN pic has her hair both longer & darker ... she's classy!

http://www.cnn.com/CNN/anchors_reporters/phillips.kyra.html

Anonymous said...

.So please don't get your boy shorts in a bunch...

i don't wear them LOL!

well good for you for being honest & having fun with it at the same time. we must be honest with our kids if we EXPECT them to be honest with us, correct? YES!

My son tells me all the time that he just wants a nice girl, that all the girls in his HS are "dirty", i can respect that & i appreciate the fact that he talks to me & my husband freely.

dig it~

The Beeze (aka: Tim McNeeley) said...

I'm glad you all enjoyed it...GOd bless the red heads...

I gotta figure BSing your kids isn't gonna work...They know when you're full shit...

CK, "I don't wear them"...Does that mean...Nevermind! LOL

Have a good day gang!

~::* Kreativemess *::~ said...

AHAH I personally don't like blonds. Most women just don't know how to take care of their hair and bleach and then it's just awful. Real blonds are sexier.. but who's a real blond anymore?

I love brunettes. A brunette with nice perky breasts and pouty lips... jesus...

Now I have to go in the bathroom and take care of a few things... :S

Rachel said...

You selected some lovely ladies there.

Good luck with the daughter. I try to stop at least once a day and send a thought of apology toward my father for having to put up with my shenanigans.

3rdStoneFromTheSun said...

you know you had me recalling Bukowski's "Women" with your title ;)

Carlin once said that we should only reproduce to replace the women...because dad has done enough dirt and isn't worthy

or something to that effect

The Beeze (aka: Tim McNeeley) said...

~P~
I have to say...I have to go take care of a few things now too!!!

Anonymous said...

I am a real blonde, never dyed my hair in my life. There are still some of us out there. Don't let a few bad ones give us a bad name.

And brunettes aren't the only one's with pouty lips.

Fun post Beeze, always is interesting.

Jane said...

I think all women have a little lesbian side. Proof, I got a little turned on right now!
just a little!!

Red hair: sexy as hell... usually comes with cute freckles.

That was funny! And your daughter's questions made me laugh. No sense of privacy LOL