Where the hell would we be without women? I know where I'd be...I'd be beating even more then I already do!
So where to begin? Well the big news in sports this past week was Manny Ramirez getting suspended for trying to grow a vagina...Or whatever the hell he was doing taking female fertility drugs...
Listen...I'm sick of all this Manny being Manny sh!t we've been hearing for years now...He's a grown ass man...Yet everyone wants to treat him like a child...Everyone has become so accepting of idiots...Well I'm over it...You can only be a total idiot for so long, before you need to be removed from society...And honestly is it him...Or so many of us....We have let him get away with this act for quite some time...
Seriously...Think about it....We've always accepted his horrible grasp of the English language....Even though he grew up in New York...And has lived his entire adult life in the U.S. Has Man Ram been playing us...Maybe folks...That or he really is a total and complete f**king idiot...Either way...He's now another in a growing list of cheaters in baseball...And to be honest, my love for the sport is fading....
Another reason why....The Cleveland Indians SUCK!!! I know I said it last week...But it's true...They got swept by the Tigers this weekend and it was just sickening to watch...Listen up Grady Sizemore...Stop reading your press clipping...Stop looking at all the whores wearing the Grady's Ladies shirts...And stop trying to hit home runs every at bat...You are a lead off hitter...Get on base you f**king child!
Kelly Shoppach...You also need to stop swinging for the fences all the time...Your warning track power isn't gonna cut as a home run hitter...
Cliff Lee gets his stuff back together, and looks like the Cy Young winner he was last year...What happens? These Nancies stop hitting...Can't even get the guy one run...
And the bullpen...All you pricks should be send down...Hell a couple of you should be put down...What a collection sh!t...
And yes...Eric Wedge...You still suck...You and your entire staff should be fired...And you too GM, Mark "I have my lips wrapped around Wedge's balls" Shapiro....You all suck!
Now here a little NHL Playoff update...The Detroit Red Wings lead The Ducks 3-2 in their series...The Blackhawks are up 3-2 and are hoping to finish off the Canucks Monday night in Chicago....The Pittsburgh Penguins return home with a 3-2 lead and are looking to take the Capitals down Monday night...I hope somebody takes out Ovechkin!
Then there's the Bruins, Hurricanes series...I just watched game 5 and the Bruins got back to playing their game, as they won 4-0...and totally dominated Carolina...The 'Canes lead the series 3-2...But the Bruins got some momentum going...They meet again Tuesday night in Carolina...And based on how chippy game 5 got...You gotta watch game 6...
Oh, and Scott Walker...Based on the sucker punch you threw in Aaron Ward's face...And Milan Lucic's anger over...I think you're a dead man walking...
Here's a hockey life lesson folks...If you act like a punk b!tch...Throwing sucker punches...You're gonna get f**ked up!-
Now for is where I drift away from sports...As many of you know I work in the restaurant business...I lovingly refer to where I work as the Fish House...Well in the restaurant business there are certain days that are know to be busy days...And to many of us it would seem obvious what some of those are...
New Year's Eve...Valentine's Day...us being the Fish House...Fridays in Lent are good ones....And of course...MOTHER'S DAY....
So why in the hell are you calling on Mother's Day to try and get a reservation, for Mother's Day..."Yes I'd like a table for 12 at 6 o'clock." Yeah!?! I'd like a blow job dummy! Seriously people wake the hell up...This day has been booked up for a week...When did people become so f**king stupid? (don't answer that)
My father always said, that he thought everyone should serve at least 2 years for their country, in some capacity...And every male should do a year boxing in the Golden Gloves...I can respect that...I would like to add to that...Everyone should have to work a year in the restaurant business...Maybe that would cut down on some of the douche-baggery...
And lastly...I've started writing a book...The working title is "Understanding My Insanity"...Now I don't know if I'm really insane...But there are clearly some issues...For some reason I have fully embraced them, and who I am...But I'm not sure why...So I'm trying to figure myself out...I mean why go to a shrink...They aren't gonna fix ya...They want to keep you coming back...And honestly, I'm not sure I want to be fixed...I have 2 chapters and an intro written...I may blog them eventually...We'll see...
And don't forget to take the Beeze's Sex Quiz...http://thebeezewax.blogspot.com/2009/05/beezes-sex-quiz.html
Have a great week gang...
Later, the Beeze.
"Yes I'd like a table for 12 at 6 o'clock." Yeah!?! I'd like a blow job dummy!...
That would be the most awesome phone conversation in the history of the world if you really said that to someone who tried to book a table on the busiest Sunday of the year.
That's the kind of shit that makes you wonder why we don't have stricter birth control rules in this country.
There really should be a test to take before you have kids!
Brilliant post Beeze!
I think everyone should also have to work retail starting on "Black Friday" through the middle of January. (and the test before children is a great idea too...)
And AWESOME about the book!!!
I've got no problem adding "Black Friday" to the mix...
I'm feeling really good about this book idea...I hope there's somebody out there who would want to publish it...Haha!
hey thanks Beeze, i hope you all had a fantastic mommie's day as well!! it was sweet not having to fk with football for a whole day!
as for manny, i could give a shit less......he took a female hormone.....so lemme know when he gets preggers ok ;0
BTW the hubby said if mrs. straps one on & chases you around the house, please get it on film LOL!
I guess you have included me in that whole restaurant idiot thing. The thing is I new better but I didn't call I asked you. We went to outback, got right in and had a pretty good lunch. I guess I am just too lazy these days. Hope the wife had a nice mothers day.
CK...LMAO...Tell the hubby I said No problem! Glad you had a good day...You moms deserve it!
Manny's a dolt!
aking...Yes you were in that category a little...Outback over the Fish House? WTF!
Well said and enough said on Manny.
Maybe the Indians are intentionally giving the rest of the division a false sense of security. ... you know, intentionally setting the others up.
why do I get the feeling we never would have heard of Manny testing positive if he had stayed in Boston with Mitchell?
I feel for you on the Indians
but be glad you're not in my sinking boat
I'm a Nationals fan
other than Zimmerman's hit streak = it has already been a long season
Hey I only have so much money to work with and we had to go see my Mother in Law. N and the girls enjoyed it. I know I was a slacker and wasn't expecting anything so nay. Hey I'm not a mom quite yet so I don't pay attention to that shit. Anyway hope you and the Mrs. had a nice day and I will remember for next year.
Frank...I don't think the Indians are that slick!
3rd...The worst thing about the Indians, is you can see the talent...It's just not all coming together.
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