Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Tales From the Fish House

Back for more? I knew you would be. Now let's remember the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

This time around I'm going to introduce you to one of the many freaks from the Fish House. Tonight we meet a guy by the name of Tammy Nova....Yes I said guy, named Tammy Nova. We'll get to why he has been given a female name in a minute.

Tammy is that guy...The guy who wants to be the man...And it's his desire to be the man, and willingness to do anything to help his standing with the man, that leads to the man using and abusing the $h!t out of him....He's a dummy....He's going nowhere....nobody likes him because he's a kiss-a$$ and a back stabber....And the man sees this crap, so he doesn't like him, but he uses the hell out of him, because Tammy doesn't get it.

Tammy is the guy that everyone rips on....They'll do it right in front of him, and he doesn't even get it...He stands there and laughs too....If there are 6 people in the kitchen, including Tammy, the other 5 will be in on the joke and dude just plays along like he's in on it too....Dummy you're the joke!!!!

Maybe this all sounds harsh....well it's a harsh business, with people who aren't cut out for the white collar world....we believe in only the strong survive...And Tammy has lasted a while now, so maybe his stupidity is what keeps him strong.

Now why do we call this dolt Tammy Nova? Well on his very first day at the Fish House he comes at us with this (I should first tell you that when he speaks he sounds like he has a mouth full of sh!t)....."Have you ever hooked up with a chick, and then found out she was a dude?" "What !!!" Along with a puzzled expression on our faces, was our response....He then replied with..."It's not gay, she's having all the right operations." Hold on a second dude...She isn't having the operations....He is!!! A dude is a dude, and you hooked up with a dude.

Strike One......okay we all make a mistake sometimes...we don't all hook up with dudes but whatever.

The next warning came a little while later when he told us about when he worked at Johnny Rockets and on Halloween the whole staff dressed up...He dressed as a chick.

Strike Two......okay now we're seeing a trend.

He's always done creepy gay stuff, and don't start getting PC on me....I work in the restaurant business, I know gay people, I have gay friends, the best male servers are gay, I'm all for gay marriage...Why should us straight people be the only ones to suffer.

Any who, recently Tammy hit us with this. See I run a Fish House Fantasy Football league, and Mr. Nova is in it. We all like to bust balls, and make side bets on our games....the $1000 pot isn't enough for us degenerates...So Tammy was facing this big dolt of a server...total meat head...We'll call him BD...short for Big Dummy. So Tammy wants to make a wager with him....He says to BD, "If I win you have to dress like a chick and go out with me to the bars." WTF!!! BD was like "what the f**k is wrong with you? F**koff."

Strike Three......game over....If the saying you are what you eat is true...Then dude is seriously hungry for a d!ck sandwich.

Every kitchen has that douche that nobody likes, ours just happens to be a closet case....Now we're all waiting for him to come out and see who he hits on first.

Tonight's recipe....Lobster and Goat Cheese Ravioli with Pesto cream sauce.

Now you can find pre-made raviolis at some good stores and specialty shops, but if you want to make your own here it is....

Get raw pasta sheets...we have a great place called Ohio City Pasta, they make great stuff. Layout the sheet, use a round cookie cutter, or ring mold, and press it down through the dough. Layout your round doughs and brush them with a little egg wash...then you put a little of your filling in the middle, put another dough on top, and pinch the edges together.

Now for the filling....take a pound of fresh chopped lobster meat, some fresh chopped herbs, (basil, chives, rosemary) some softened goat cheese (4-8 oz.depending on how goat cheezey you want it) salt & pepper. Mix in all together in a bowl...use your hands...get dirty...food is sexy...messy hands are sexy...sorry I get a little into sometimes.

Sauce...If you want to buy it that's cool, but if you want to make it here you go....Fresh basil, pine nuts, garlic, salt & pepper, a tiny bit of Dijon mustard, and spinach..I use the spinach to stretch it, and brighten the color up. Throw all that in a food processor, and slowly add olive oil as it is running....you just want it to be pasty.

Then you heat some heavy cream and whisk in your pesto.

Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it. Also thanks for reading my other crap. the wife just caught up on my blog today...I thought I was going to be in trouble....But she's cool about me telling everyone everything...and she liked how I picked myself apart a little in the last Monday Moaning...Mrs. Beeze is the Sh!t.

Laterr, The BEEZE.

5 comments:

bdubsmitty said...

Okay we all make a mistake sometimes...we don't all hook up with dudes but whatever...

Why should us straight people be the only ones to suffer...

classic lines dude...classic...LMFAO

I seriously think that if a dude told me that line about having to dress up as a chick and go out with him...I would shove a wooden cooking spoon up his ass.

Great stuff beeze...if you keep this up I am going to have to fly to Cleveland just to eat at the Fish House...just for the comedy

The Beeze (aka: Tim McNeeley) said...

You should come, The more we write, the more it seems like we're long lost brothers or something.

Thanks for reading. Great post on Jimmy V.

Anonymous said...

that recipe looks delish, i'm going to copy it ok!!

The Beeze (aka: Tim McNeeley) said...

I hope you enjoy it.

Jurk said...

well played, sir... your portrayal of tammy teabag left a salty, poopy taste in my mouth. (wait, what??) my only grief is that there isn't more, YET. don't forget the... bollocks,i can't spoil it. get on it beezers! this ain't no bus stop, son!!!!!