#WakeUpAmerica : It's All "Reality TV" to Him

 

Welcome to my third installment of Lying, Asshole, Trump is using COVID as a Campaign Ad...The FIRST was Friday...The SECOND  was Sunday...Now here we sit, me being right...AGAIN...

Saturday and Sunday Trump tweets videos saying he’s doing well, just before the nightly news...Monday they announced he’s leaving the hospital at 6:30, the same time the nightly news starts...He’s getting constant free TV time...And with it promoting his lies that COVID isn’t that bad...It’s all political theater...And boom just like that, all but 4 minutes of the nightly news was covering his motorcade and helicopter flight...The “reality TV” President just played everyone....

Now he’s thumping his chest about beating it...if he actually has it, which I still don't believe...But if he does, he’s getting a treatment regimen that is not legal for anyone else to get...If you roll into the Hospital with a positive COVID test and say, I want the stuff Trump gets, they'll not only say no...They'll most likely send you home to quarantine until and tell you to come back only if you show severe symptoms...They'll tell you no, because those treatments Trump is getting are not yet "approved" for public use and are still in the "testing" phase...Also, he needed to get a special exception for those treatments...The type of exception normally only given to someone in the worst case scenario....

And as for that show they put on at the White House...I won't post the videos...Fuck him...I'm not putting his Mussolini/Hitler- like propaganda videos up on my page...I'm bullshitting...There was press that was filming from across the way, and White House reporters posting and tweeting about Trump and his crew doing reshoots of him entering the White House and retakes of his speech where he was trying to spew his bullshit that COVID isn't that bad...

He's saying it's not that bad...But this weekend the White House Gift Shop started taking pre-orders for "President Donald J. Trump Defeats COVID" collectors coins...I'm not bullshitting...And While Factcheck.org flagged my Facebook post about it, they clearly didn't bother to click the LINK...It's the White House Gift Shop's website...

This has all been a campaign ad...This is the only thing Trump has done well in his career...Put on a "reality TV show" and sell idiots, shitty, made in China merch...

He has played the American public and the American media for fools...You know I'm right, because we all see his ignorant cult members every day...We see their stupidity in full force as they blindly believe everything he says...As they scream against wearing masks...As they scream against people peacefully protesting, while they violently protest....America has a "Reality TV" President and we did it to ourselves...People bought the myth that a non-politician was the answer to our ills, but it made us sicker...

The Republican party repeatedly enabled him, wanting to grab as much power as they could...They bought his bullshit and now with each Republican that gets a positive COVID test, I get a smile....I feel no sympathy for those who denied science...I feel no sympathy for those who had none for the first 210,000 Americans that died from COVID...

Again, his morning Trump was spreading the lie that COVID is less deadly than the seasonal Flu...210,000 Americans dead from COVID...This fucking "Clown"...

Yes, Facebook got something right and removed it...Twitter hid it, but it's still visible just with a warning first...These action lead to dipshit tweeting to "REPEAL SECTION 230"...Listen, section 230 has cost me two Twitter accounts and has gotten me suspended many, many times...Most of those for Calling him an Lying Asshole...For calling Tucker Carlson a racist cunt...For Calling Melania and Ivanka Cunts...For calling fucking racists, fucking racists...For calling Kanye a fucking idiot...Now, I feel all of those statements were true...But I took my penalties like a man...Unlike Trump, who like to act like Mr. Tough Guy, but then cries on the rare occasion he's held accountable for one of his countless lies...

AMERICA!!!  WAKE THE FUCK UP!  "Reality TV" is scripted and too many of you have fallen for Trump's script. 

#WakeUpAmerica

National What The Fuck Day

 

So I missed this “National Daughter Day” stuff and I guess it was followed by “National Son Day”...I don’t know...I remember when every single day of the week wasn’t some made up “National” Day...Am I an old curmudgeon? Maybe, I turn 45 tomorrow...Is that old? It use to be in my teenage mind, back then 45 was light years away...Or am I just crabby fucker, sick of today's bullshit...Not literally today...Like recent shit...

Back to this "National Day" shit has I hopped off the rails real quick there...

I’m a father EVERY day and don’t need to pat myself on the back for it...I like Pizza and Tacos and Burgers every day, not just on their “national day"...Yes, there really are "National Days" for basic shit like pizza, burgers, tacos, donuts, and apparently being a parent...Listen, i don't need a "National Day" or an excuse to smash some Pizza or Tacos or Donuts...I'll fucking Door Dash some right now and Livestream eating it just to show you....There's also "Grandparents Day," that just magically appeared out of nowhere a few years back...All of this shit just appeared...All these nonsensical National Days, out of nowhere, for no damn reason....

We have gotten awful needy for things to pump up or be excited about...or just to have a reason to post on social media...That's it...It's fucking social media...This goddamn "look at me" world we now live in...And yes, I'm here preaching and bitching, but I'm guilty as fuck of it...I bought into Social media years ago and I'm like a fucking junkie now, checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram...#FuckTrump, #FascistTrump, #TrumpWantsToFuckIvanka....

I've been writing blogs since 2007 and whoring them and myself out on social media...'Maybe one day someone "important" will read my shit and want to pay me for it!'..."Me, I like to cast my death on yesterday, 'cause what doesn't kill us just makes us better whores!"

Guess what...we have an evil criminal, no tax paying, lying and not giving a fuck that over 200,000 people died, many because of his lying, IDIOT, traitor, wants to be a fascist dictator, for our President...fucking hell! There's plenty to post about on social media...I've lost countless friends and followers and had 2 Twitter accounts permanently suspended because all I have done for months is post about this lying, fucking asshole...This Traitor and his cult of traitor followers...And the "friends" and followers I've lost because of it, I'm not sad about at all...They are either silent members of his cult or complacent idiots who don't realize or don't care about what is happening to this country...

#WakeUpAMerica

Every day is NATIONAL WHAT THE FUCK DAY!

Two Words

 

I have a very dear friend who almost every day asks a question of her friends on Facebook...During this COVID, quarantine time it has been something I've enjoyed and I think many other have...We all have gotten to learn a little more about each other...Yesterday's question had me stumped for awhile..."If you could write a note to your younger self, what would you say in only two words?"

After kicking it around for awhile, I had nothing and just vomited a bunch of words onto her page until it came to me...

....

For hours I've been trying to think of two words to sum it up...I considered a couple jokes...that either were shots at myself or at someone from my past...I tried for something meaningful...

I thought "No Regrets"...But how can I say that...I carry regrets with me...I can't shake them....Even little meaningless moments that everyone else who was in the room doesn't remember, I hold on to them and still feel embarrassment or shame or anger or whatever...I'm a walking ball of regrets and maybe they are what has helped shape me...But they also make me hate me...(don't worry, not like that...this isn't a cry for help...I just went mildly insane and started writing a blog when ~A~  asked for two words)....

 But in two words it's tough...So here I am hammering out word after word, like an ass...There's plenty of great answers here...

Suddenly, it comes to me...As I make sure my kids get off to sleep, and I look at my beautiful wife...And the news is on in the background reminding us how fucked up this world is....But our own little spaces can be wonderful...I have it...I have two words...I just needed to crank out a couple hundred to get there....

Make Love.

Trump Vs. TikTok...The Truth

Yesterday night it broke that Trump made his next move against the Constitution and the 1st Amendment as he signed an "Executive Order" to ban the app, TikTok in the next 45 days...If it is not sold to a U.S. company it's banned...And adding to the oddness of all this, he is demanding the the U.S. Treasury gets a cut of the sale....WTF.....You can go through my previous posts to see more of his moves attacking our Constitutional rights...

Now honest to god, I have no idea how a president can just ban an app...Are the Feds going to knock on my door and delete TikTok from my daughters iPhone? How does the government have access to shut down a private company's app from working just on American phones...You know, American phones made in China...And China is his big excuse, saying that TikTok is a "Trojan Horse" for Chinese hackers to steal our information...You know the same information we put on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snap Chat, iTunes, Band Camp, our Netflix account...Who remembers My Space? Whatever other fucking app is out there? 

Thing is, why would China want to hack TikTok'ers? The average users of TikTok range in the ages of 15-25....They have no credit, money, plenty of student loan debt...There isn't much worth hacking into there...

The fact is we all know Trump has been pissed since those pesky kids on TikTok fooled his Campaign into thinking millions of supports were coming to his rally in Tulsa...Nope! Just about 6,000 people showed up...Not very impressive when you realize I get 6,000 pageviews just by putting Kate Upton's picture in one of my posts...Since then he's been bitching about TikTok and spewing this unsubstantiated story about it all being a cover for Chinese hackers...

Now for the VERY interesting part of this story...Mark Zuckerberg has often, very sheepishly defended Trump...And while him and his crew at Facebook/Instagram have pushed stronger fact-checking on Facebook and Instagram, for us regular folks and media sites, Zuckerberg has openly said he does not support fact checking what politicians post.. .After weeks of Trump spewing his nonsense about TikTok, the same day he signs an executive order to ban it, Instagram launches a new feature on their platform called "Reels"...It's their version of TikTok...

A couple of things seem clear to me here...1. Trump and Zuckerberg clearly colluded to fuck with one of Zuckerberg's top two competitors...2. They probably suck each others little cocks...3. Those kids on TikTok really got in Trump's kitchen and they need to not stop...Keep doing your thing on TikTok, but make sure you post that shit on IG Reels too...Tweet it, @ Trump...Hashtag the fuck out of the orange criminal fucker...Don't stop being disruptive...Now more than ever.

Monday Moaning (Open Letter to Friends)

It was a lovely sunset last night here in Erie, PA last night...

After a day of high heat and afternoon and early evening thunderstorms, the sky looked amazing...

So I snapped some pictures from my front porch with my phone and posted them on Instagram and Facebook....

Over the course of the evening the post of sunset pics kept getting views and likes...It got me thinking...I've been repeatedly suspended on Twitter...The last one for calling Betsy DeVos a twat and saying her ignorant ass should be executed...For a period of time I was shadow banned on Instagram...That's when they don't lock you out, or suspend you, but they don't like what you are doing so make it hard for people to find you and slow down things from getting into your followers' feed...

So since Instagram and Facebook are in bed together, I was wondering if Facebook has been doing the same to me...My sunset pics get plenty of views, and likes and whatnot...But since the murder of George Floyd, my social media has become 98% speaking up for Black Lives Matter, LGBTQ rights, calling out racists, ranting about the corruption of government, screaming about the Trump Crime Family, bitching about COVID-19 deniers, and assholes who won't wear masks, hating on those traitors who wave Nazi and Confederate flags, the 2nd Amendment lovers who refuse to standup for the us 1st Amendment lovers...and so on...

As the sunset pics continue to rack up likes, the mural of Harriet Tubman with a blurb calling Kanye West an Asshole got 5 likes...Posts about Trump's Secret Police assaulting and kidnapping protesters in Portland get 2-6 likes and maybe 1 comment...Videos of Trump speaking ignorantly and incoherently, spewing lies and stupidity get 1-2 interactions...

So, is Facebook shadow banning me? Or do I have a friends list full of people who don't give a fuck about these things going on in out country?  I get it, lots of people have social media to escape the everyday bullshit...Some have it solely to share pics of kids or grandkids and life events...Or just some funny meme to help us all get through this fucked up mess with a laugh...It's a great communication tool...I have a great friend that posts a question every day...From important life event shit to what crappy movie do you love...And it gets a bunch of us to answer and have a little back and forth with each other, some of us strangers...

I didn't always go political on social media, I mixed it in here and there but it wasn't full blown...I changed...I can't stand what my country has become...I can't stand what it was and so many didn't know the history...I want it to be better for my kids, and grandkids...I want it to be better for your kids and grandkids...I want us to actually be able to have grandkids and them to have a bright future in this country...So I'm not going to shut up and just post happy stuff, I'm going to keep sharing the shit too...And I'm not apologizing if you don't like it...There is an unfollow/unfriend button...You won't be the first to use it...

I'll close with a little meme for ya...

Have a week!

Monday Moaning: Dementia Moved In

The image is click-bait but that's always been part of the game, and a major part of my game since I started blogging at Sporting News back in 2007...But I always found a way to tie it in with the post...I carried it on with me here and at the now defunct YouGabSports....

-I had a couple of masterpiece blogs in the bullpen...They were going to get me noticed by Barstool Sports who would offer me a job...(yeah, right!)But with the murder of George Floyd, the ensuing protests, the hate spewed by the President and his ignorant supporters who hold the Confederate Traitors in such high regard, I scrapped those...I didn't blog...I just carpet bombed social media facts, truth, reality, history, and quick rants...I got flagged on Facebook for things that were factually correct but Anti-Trump and Anti-Racism...I got unfollowed by plenty of people, which is fine...If you're a racist...If you are ok with people flying Nazi and Confederate flags, I don't want to know you and don't want you around....I got suspended on Twitter twice...A week for tweeting at Drew Brees that he "is a fucking idiot"....My first tweet back was at Twitter and their owners, pointing out the hypocritical bullshit standards they have...And then I retweeted porn clips that are allowed on twitter at them...

-One blog shredding MLB for being a bunch of greedy fucks who are killing their game and are about to lose the dog days of Summer to the NHL...The NHL is planning to have their playoffs (the best playoffs of all sports) in July, August and September...Pushing the start of next season back, and if they stick with it that way they can continue starting their season later, and having their playoffs in the Summer, sports dead zone, when many people get extra casual with Baseball until it gets closer to September....But with Billionaire owners and millionaire players fighting over money, more and more people are going to care less and less about a sport who's core fanbase is dying...


-I had done  series of "COVID Blogs"...Those stopped This next section was going to be one in the series...A month into the COVID shutdown, we moved my Mother-in-Law in with us...My wife, three kids, two dogs, myself and my dementia riddled Mother-in-Law...She was in assisted living and was locked down, stuck in her room for over month...No visitors allowed, no activities, no dining room...It scrambled her already fragile brain even more...When we saw her outside of the place on her birthday, my wife and I knew we had to get her out...So she's here with us...My Father-in-Law went down this same road so we knew to some extent what we were getting into...But it's bad...It's hard...

The kids were doing school from home...The wife works from home...there's limited separation people can get...We get bombarded with the same questions over and over again...The last 20 years don't exist...She doesn't know who I am, except that I cook for her and answer questions...There are times she doesn't know my wife...

We made a answer sheet for her to keep...When she starts asking questions we tell her to look at it...She would ask a question, you would answer and she would ask it again immediately...She looked at the sheet and said, "This is my daughters house?" I said yes...She then said "Is she still alive?"...Which was when the most blunt thing I could say fell out of my face..."If she was dead you wouldn't live here."  I felt awful, but she forgot it within seconds...

My day often starts with making her Tea and toast or an English muffin with orange marmalade...Once she is sitting down eating and working on a puzzle I go and check to see if I have to mop the floor in her bedroom, the hallway and the bathroom, as she likes to take her diapers off during the night and often leaves a trail of pee.... 

It's hard seeing someone fall apart in front of you...It's hard on my wife, as her mother often seems ungrateful for what we do for her...At night she becomes child-like, wants to "break rules" and gets pissy with my wife...We had to put up a baby gate to try and prevent her from roaming around the house at night while everyone is asleep...She loves to search for cookies between 11:00 PM and 4:00 AM...We have signs on doors to help her and prevent her taking a header down the basement steps....

The one thing makes my wife nuts...Her mother will go to the bathroom door wide open, doing her business, everything hanging out...But then when she's done, she pulls the door shut behind her...WTF!?!

If 2020 didn't suck bad enough, especially for the kids, my oldest having her senior year of high school kicked in the balls...She gave up her room for her Grandmother and moved into her little sister's room...And Grandma has no idea who our kids are...She had lived everyday for over two months with them and looks at them like strangers...We spent so many weekends visiting...Personal time and vacation time spent with my in-laws...Moved to fucking Erie to take care of things for them....and she has no memory of them or any of it...There are moments when I talk to her and she looks at me like 'Who the fuck are you and what are you doing here.?'

As frustrated and annoyed as I get, I have to remind myself that my wife is watching her mother's brain turn to pudding right in front of her everyday...I don't know how my wife deals with it so calmly...Well, she does like to hit the bottle like the piece of click-bait at the top of this post! 

That's what's been going on in my world...

Have a drink...Stay safe...Stay strong...Don't be a racist...Help fight for positive change in this country and world...And love...Love your family...No matter what, love your family.

Freedom of Speech...Not So Much

After finishing this week's MONDAY MOANING, I did as I always do, went to link it on my Facebook page...It is also setup to auto feed into our YouGabSports Facebook Page...But it didn't feed in...And when I tried to link it on my "wall" this is what I got...

It didn't happen with other things I linked...Just Monday Moaning...Now when I link on Facebook, what I post can only be seen by my "Friends"...I have my shit setup pretty secure...The only other place I link is a "private group" of former Sporting News bloggers...So the post is not out there for getting into everyone in the world's feed...So it bothers me that person/persons considered a "friend" would report my posts as "Abusive"...If you don't like it, don't read it...Even better, if it bothers you, you can block it...Unfriend me, and even block me...I've blocked tons of fuckers!  It's just like TV or radio...You don't like what's on, turn it off!

But we live in this oversensitive, cry if I don't like something, because it's not politically correct, pussified fucking world...And all companies do what the crybabies wish...Even if it is only 1-2 people out of my whole list of "Friends"...

As expected I have had no help from Facebook support, because as we all know, support from any company these days sucks balls!


Since I started blogging 8 years ago, I have always found myself under attack, because I don't always take the popular view...And I definitely don't take the PC view...And honestly, I never minded taking on those fights...It gave me more material to rant with...But I'm sick of this shit...Last I checked, Facebook was an American company...America which offers us all the FREEDOM OF SPEECH...And last I checked, the Internet was suppose to be this glorious place filled with free speech and free thought...But it's all being overrun with crybabies...

I tried to link a blog from MY website, onto MY Facebook page, and I was blocked...Seriously...WHAT THE FUCK!?!  Some one explain how this type of retardation goes on!

I've heard all the criticism before...I've been told I objectify women by using the pictures I do at the beginning of each Monday Moaning...But that folks, is just plain ole, BULLSHIT...The pictures I use are of Models, Actresses, and other women who freely post these pictures of themselves for all to see...I am celebrating these women...Celebrating their beauty, sex appeal, strength, boldness, and maybe adding to viewers Spank Bank...I am not objectifying these women or any women...You are...Because you are insecure in yourself, your beliefs, your looks, your character, your strength...

Just because your beliefs/opinions and my beliefs/opinions are different, does not mean you are wrong...Or that I am wrong...It doesn't mean either one of us has a higher moral ground...We just see things differently...What happened to discussion? What happened to debate? Instead, this fucking world has bypassed the good that can come out of that, and now goes straight to "REPORT ABUSE."


I don't force my views on anyone...You have the option to click the link or not...You have the option to out click if you don't like it...You have the option to read on, and challenge my views in the comment thread...But instead, you choose to force your views on me anonymously with your asshole, crybaby, tactics...

I use to love the power and reach of the Internet and all the technology so easily at our fingertips...I'm not sure I have that same love...Is it wrong to wish for the 1950's and 60's era...Yeah, there were problems then too...This country was racist as fuck...But honestly, it still is...

But people didn't cry every time they didn't like something, or their views/beliefs were challenged...They debated...They discussed...They stood up for what the felt and believed, marched, protested, burned their draft cards, burned their bras, they were engaged...Today they just anonymously click "REPORT ABUSE" and move on to the next thing they don't like.

Taking on Hypocrisy and Stupidity

I think we all know, that I spend plenty of time on Facebook...And I think we all know that I like goofy nonsense that comes with it...And we all know, I have no problem with busting balls, and talking shit, and having fun...But there is something that I can't stand...Stupid f**king idiots who don't have a clue about what they are talking about...I like to call them, F**k-stains, because, that's what they should have been...(yes we also know I'm opinionated!)

Recently I saw a couple of friends had joined a page, or just liked it, I don't f**king know, called, "DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN"

Seriously! Here's the LINK

Now, I'm all for questioning government...And I'm all about free speech...That's why I don't like the page that wants to ban this stupid one...That's just as douchey! I have no problem if your political, and/or religious views are different from mine...I have no problem if you voice those views...I mean aren't those freedoms we love to hang our hat on!?!

Now this post isn't being written in defense of President Obama...It's being written in defense of intelligence...My problem with this page is that it shows how dumb and hypocritical people are...Now, I see the joke that they are going for, but it just isn't that good...Why Beeze? I'll tell ya!

In my 12 painful years of Catholic education, never did "Sister Mary Black Sabbath" teach us to pray for some one's death! Never! Nor does it say that it's a good idea in the "Bible." I know...I've read the book, just so I could throw it back in the faces of the Uber-Religious...

You see, many (not all) of these people who want the "Good Lord" to strike down our President consider themselves "Catholic" or Christian"...I find it so inspiring how intolerant, hateful, unkind, prejudice, and narrow minded, people are, who claim to follow a man/deity, who's whole mission was to teach, love, kindness, understanding, peace, and freewill...

I can just hear the voice of a dolt...'I love you Jesus! Could you take out the President for me?'

There are also people on this page whom were the first to call anyone who disagreed with any policy of President Bush's, Treasonous...So it's okay for you to speak out against President Obama...But not okay for anyone to have spoken out against President Bush...God bless America, and God bless double standards!

I'm not saying everyone on this page is a bad person...Like I said, some are friends of mine...If some people think it's just a funny joke...Fine...It's not really that good, but fine...

If some claim to be religious, I suggest you pick up the old "Good Book" and actually read it this time...

If some people just don't like President Obama's politics, that's fine...But just remember...If some one talked about wanting the guy you liked dead, you'd probably be going bat-shit crazy, wanting the Secret Service to investigate them...

I'm sure some people on there are just, stupid, angry f**kers who love to hate...Hey, something has to be on the bottom of the food chain!

In closing...Ron White said, "You can'tfix stupid." he may very well be right...But I'm gonna continue to try.

Before I leave, I need a laugh...And this always does it for me...The Litle Beeze loves this one too...

"Not Once, Not Never!"

Later, The Beeze.

For Real...There's One of These I haven't Done?

I thought I had done all the Facebook notes there are to do...Then I tagged for one I hadn't yesterday...Some of the answers are inside jokes...Too bad..The rest are me just being the ass that I am...


1.Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? A CHALUPA...A STRINGBEAN...AL SHARPTON...BILL O'REILLY...AND A WHOLE LOT MORE

2. How do you flush the toilet in public? I SLAP IT WITH MY HOG...HOW DO YOU THINK DUMMY?

3. Do you wear your seat belt in the car? YES

4. Do you have a crush on someone? FOR ALMOST 10 YEARS NOW

5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. WELL SINCE I ALREADY RAN OUT OF MONEY...I'LL SAY TIME

6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? THIS AWESOME BLOGGER WHO CALLS HIMSELF "THE BEEZE"

7. What are your favorite pizza toppings? SAUSAGE, BACON, HAM, GREEN PEPPERS

8. Do you crack your knuckles? YES

9. What song do you hate the most? PARTY IN THE USA...I'LL HAVE THAT GASH "Nodding her head like YEAH! Moving her hips like YEAH!" Idiotic shit!

10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? YES!

11. What are your super powers? NEVER ENDING SEX DRIVE...VERBALLY ASSAULTING SERVERS...THROWING FISH...

12. Peppermint or spearmint? PEPPERMINT

13. Where are your car keys? KITCHEN COUNTER

14. Last song you listened to? THIS SONG BY BILLY THE KID...



15. What's your most annoying habit? INSANE RANTING AND RAVING

16. Where did you last go on vacation? BOSTON

17. What is your best physical feature? MY YAM BAG

18. What CD is closest to you right now? "THE LOST CAUSE"

19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? MILK...BEER...PIZZA

20. What superstition do you believe/practice? ENTER WITH MY LEFT FOOT

21. What colour are your bed sheets? BLUE...WITH WHITE STAINS!

22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? BIRD...I'M ALLERGIC TO FISH, SO THAT WOULD REALLY F**KING SUCK!

23. Last thing you broke? A SERVER'S SPIRIT!

24. What are you having to eat tonight? YOUR MOM'S BOX!

25. What colour shirt are you wearing? BLUE...WITH WHITE STAINS!

26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? MAKING MORE STAINS!

27. Do security cameras make you nervous? YES

28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be? IT"S IN THE WORKS...THE TITLE IS, "UNDERSTANDING MY INSANITY"

29. Last time you went to a cemetery? JULY 13th

30. Last concert you went to? OUR LADY PEACE

31. Favorite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert? OUR LADY PEACE

32. Next concert you're planning to attend? BILLY THE KID somewhere in Ontario or AN EVENING WITH OUR LADY PEACE in Buffalo

33. Do you talk to yourself? ALWAYS

34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? NO

35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? YES, HIS NAME IS LITTLE BEEZE!

Later, The Beeze

Monday Moaning

I'll start by saying this...Thank God I didn't bet on any of this week's playoff games...And thank God I didn't post any predictions...If I would have, I would have been 0-4...

The original Browns beat the Patriots 33-14...Was that Tom Brady playing QB or Greg Brady?

How about that Green Bay vs Arizona game...The Cardinals win the battle of who can play the least amount of defense...I thought maybe they changed the rules to, the first team to 100 wins...And some how, the Cards win on a score by their shit defense...Unreal...

Saturday the Jets took it to Ocho and the Bengals again...Not shocked, but I would have gone with the Bengals...Then, as I sat in Dina's Pizza & Pub that night...The Cowboys beat the living sh!t out of the Eagles again...Holy Tony Romo won a playoff game...Old Jerry Jones must have creamed himself...

Since I brought up Saturday night...A good time was had by all...The Mrs. and I went out with our friends Bryan and May...We had some good eats, and plenty of drinks...Dina's is normally gentle on the wallet...But it's pretty amazing how those $2 shot specials add up...

I spent plenty of time groping and embarrassing the wife...Note to the DJ...If you don't want to hear me sing...Don't play Journey while I'm drinking...I was also catching some glances from a "male hair dresser"...They may have been because I was simulating oral sex on a beer bottle...AWKWARD!

And I can't forget the dancing lady...I would guess close to 50 years old...She was there with her bald husband, and making him feel very uncomfortable...She was down with OPP...And everyone got a good sot of her shaking her old fat ass all over the place...Then May got up and danced one with her...AWKWARD! Or was the awkward part when Bryan and I gave Baldy the rock when we were leaving, and he looked at us like 'who the f**k are you?'

After that...Pay the sitter...Get upstairs...Clothes off...It was time for some old school bumpin' uglies...I was feeling this morning too...After dropping the morning deuce, I think I strained my oblique muscle wiping my ass...

But after a pot of coffee...4 Motrin...And a snowball fight with the kids while the wife took a nap, I was feeling better....

Some more football news...Word on the street is Pete Carroll will be leaving USC and become the new head coach of the Seattle Seahawks... http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/seahawks/2010761357_hawk11.html

Well, it may be time to throw away my Seahawks cap...Carroll had it made at USC...I don't know why he'd want to leave...The egos in the NFL have got to be much harder to deal with, then in college...That combined with the fact that his last stops in the NFL didn't go so well...Some guys are cut out for it...And some aren't...I think Caroll is built for the college game...Just like Steve Spurrier and Butch Davis...I'm predicting this as another fail for Carroll...

Next I want to talk about something that went on last week at Facebook...One day I noticed a number of female friends statuses were simply one word...A color...Most of my friends said white...there was one pink...A black...And there was a NONE...My status became a question...WTF is this about...A friend pointed out that it was just females, and to "use your imagination"...So then I thought 'is the type of c*ck they like?'...Then I thought, 'what about the chick with the "Pink with brown and lime green polka dots?" She needs to see a doctor!'

In the end, I found out it was their bra color...This was suppose to raise breast cancer awareness...I don't know if it worked...But it raised something!

So for the gents out there...This week, I'd like to raise some junk swing awareness...Your status should be either left or right...If you say down the middle, you better be naked, or you're just not packin' much...So let the world know how your junk's hangin'...

Speaking of junk hangin'...This week the Little Beeze was in rare form...When isn't he...One night I was getting him ready for bed...He was a bit wound up...So I took his hands and said lets shake the craziness out...And we shook the hell out of him...He was really liking it...Then he said, "Mom come here!" When she came in the room he started shaking himself around and said, "Look at mt pee pee swing!"

That's my boy!

Another night when he was being a pain in the ass...I said, "Little Beeze, I'm tired of this!" He responded completely straight faced and serious with, "Dad you're suppose shit at the end of that."

That brought on a dirty look from the wife...This kid is gonna be the death of me...

That's it for now...Have a great week...

-

Later, The Beeze.

"Honesty is Such a Lonely Word"

This is another one of those silly things from facebook...

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose at least 8 people to be tagged. Don't forget to tag me!

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? CHERRY PIE...AND SURPRISINGLY I'M NOT TALKING IN A SEXUAL WAY!

2.Where was your profile picture taken? MY KITCHEN

3.Can you play Guitar Hero? NO, BUT I CAN PLAY GUITAR...SO I THINK I'M BETTER OFF!

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? LITTLE BEEZE...AND JURK OF COURSE

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? 2:00 AM THAT'S JUST HOW I ROLL.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? YES! YES! Y-E-F**KING-S! YES!

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? NO, I DON'T LIVE IN A STUPID DREW BARRYMORE MOVIE!

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? I DON'T KNOW...CHECK MAPQUEST!

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends? YES

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper? I LOVE IT!

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? DOES LAUGHING SO HARD THAT I CRIED COUNT...'CAUSE THAT HAPPENED WATCHING "MY BEST FRIENDS GIRL"...THE PART WHERE DANE COOK DROPS HIS PANTS IN FRONT OF HIS GIRLFRIENDS MOTHER AND SAY, "IT'S NOT GONNA SUCK ITSELF MOMMA!"

12. Who took your profile picture? I DID

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? MY DAUGHTER

14. Was yesterday better than today? SLIGHTLY...BUT ONLY BECAUSE I GOT A BLOW JOB!

15. Can you live a day without TV? YES

16. Are you upset about anything? WHEN AM I NOT?

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? YES

18. Are you a bad influence? I HOPE SO!

19. Night out or night in? I DON'T KNOW...WHO AM I SPENDING THE NIGHT IN?

20. What items could you not go without during the day? PC...LUBE

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? MY MOM

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? NO TEXTING HERE

23. How do you feel about your life right now? PRETTY GOOD

24. Do you hate anyone? DO YOU WANT A LIST?

25. If we were to look in your facebook inbox, what would we find? MESSAGES I HAVEN'T DELETED...(WHAT STUPID QUESTION)

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? YES

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? YEAH...WHAT A DOLT SHE WAS!

28. What song is stuck in your head? "THE END IS WHERE WE BEGIN"

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? THE ONLY WOMAN MY WIFE WOULD BE WILLING TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH!

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? NO...i JUST DID THE MATH...NO F**KING WAY!

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? WORK...GET THINGS READY FOR MY SON'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

32. Do you think too much or too little? WAY TOO MUCH!

33. Do you smile a lot? HOW COULD I NOT!?!

Later, The Beeze.

Time For Some Skull F***ing!

It's been awhile since I've been in the mood to plunge my hog into some idiots' skull...But I'm in a mood today...So let's get started on the latest winners of The Beeze's Skull F**k Award!

First, I've beaten up Indians manager Eric Wedge a lot this year...Well we got some good news today...The Tribe Finally fired that dolt...But I don't want him to leave town without taking one last load in the eye...

But wait...I'm feeling a to-for...That's right, if Wedge is taking one...I gotta give his buddy, GM, Mark Shapiro one too! This jackass should have been fired too...Oh, what the hell...Let's add a third...Indians owner, Mr. Dolan...Here's a steaming load for you too...Why you ask....For not firing Shapiro, and not ditching Wedge sooner...

At the rate I'm going, I'm gonna need a cheat code for all the c*ck I'm dishing out tonight...

Next...Browns coach, Eric Mangina...This guy is just a dummy...Plain and simple...'I'm not naming the starting QB, cause I don't want to.' DOUCHE! Then when it was leaked on twitter, what did he do...'I'm not naming the starting center.' No one cares DOUCHE!

Then he benched Brady Quinn Sunday and put in Derek Anderson, who proceeded to throw 3 interceptions...NICE MOVE DOUCHE! So who's starting this week? Anderson...DOUCHE!

Mangina, is looking like a future Skull F**k Hall of Famer...

Next, on the topic of the Browns and the Quarterback position...The next Skull F**k is going out to all those dolts in the media, and all the knuckle headed Browns fans, who actually think Derek Anderson starting at QB is going to improve this team...Listen, if Jesus was playing QB for the Browns, it wouldn't help...The #1 receiver drops more passes then he catches...The #2 receiver is the second coming of Steve Tasker...The O-line only beats the opponent when they jump too soon...The #1 running back is on the back-end of his career, while the # 2 running back is a 6th round pick who is far from ready to carry the load...The defense...Not that great...But I feel bad for them...They never get off the field, so by the second half they're totally winded...

-

Sorry people...The QB isn't what's making this team suck...It's the years of crappy management, bad drafts, bad ownership, bad coaches, including Mangina...You know what, I feel bad about this one...But people need to wake the hell up...So I'm gonna let a Steeler pass out this Skull F**k!

That does not look fun!

-

-

Last...this one is for my friend Cathy...She pointed something out to me on facebook...I started looking, and she was right...I, like her was totally annoyed by it...There seems to be couples, some married, some just dating...Who feel the need to post there love for one another on each others facebook walls...

-

"baby I love you." "you're so sweet" Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! NO ONE CARES!

-

We don't need to see it...True or not...I think most people do it because their relationship actually sucks, but they don't want people to know...TOO LATE!

-

Listen, if you want to post something like....'My husband just tongued my a$$ so good, it had my p*$$y singing Oh Come All Ye Faithful' ...I'm okay with that! Or maybe...'I had my strap on in Johnny tonight...Rectum...I nearly killed 'em!' ...That would be great!

-

But if you need to post "I love you honey, you're the best." on you significant other's wall...There's a problem...Try this instead...Walk into the other room, and tell them to their face...It might actually mean a little more....

-

You've now been Skull F**ked!

-

Later, The Beeze.

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Bed...

That's what I was saying a couple months ago...

Let me start by saying, this is nothing sexual...Yes, sex is what started this whole problem, but this post isn't about sex...This first popped into my head after an old friend named Bridget had commented on facebook about the new found independence of her daughter, and a feeling of not being needed...It's amazing how Kindergarten changes them...

It got me thinking about my two kids, and how they've grown...And how hard it can be...Part of our job as parents is to have them ready for life in the real world...Yet when they start taking those steps, it can hurt...The first time you go away for a weekend, and leave them with grandma and grandpa...Those first days of school...Their first sleep over...And it's just gonna get worse as they get to the point of dating, and asking for the car keys...F**k that!

Lately, I've been dealing with some of these feelings myself...

There's a problem in our house with sleeping...I call it a problem, but I think my wife and I hold on to it...Maybe it's our way of feeling we're still needed...

When my daughter was born, and the first year or so, I was working an average of 67 hours a week...Her bound with my wife seemed even stronger then the typical mother daughter bound...She slept in our bed every night...Hell that's the most I saw her for awhile...Their bound hasn't been broken yet, and she ends up in our bed at some point, almost every night...

My son is about to be 5...I gave up on sleep almost 5 years ago...He had many problems as a baby...First there was a reflux issue...Prescription for Pepcid fixed that...Then there was trouble crapping, and getting gas out...This caused him serious pain and discomfort...The worst was at night when he was trying to sleep...He was constantly trying to push gas out...Crying and miserable...The only way he could get a few hours of solid sleep, was if he was being held...Every night, there I was on the couch with my boy...This went on for months...Even after the doctors put him on a formula that cost $40 a can...A can lasted a day...That was when we officially went broke...

He got in the habit of being snuggled...And I had gotten in the habit of comforting him...Up until a month ago, I would end up in his bed...He would be calling for me, and in I went...Why not...His big sister was stealing my covers anyway...But I felt we had to break these habits...Then he realized his sister was always ending up in our bed...So he started giving that a try...Now I was getting pissed...We've been working hard at it for a couple weeks now...He's doing better then his sister...He did the last 5 nights without coming up, or calling for me...I'm proud o him...

So now comes the strange part...I think I'm having more trouble adjusting then he is...All I've wanted was to get a good nights sleep in my own, wonderful, king-sized bed...Now I find myself, worrying about him...Wanting to check on him...I know...I'm f**king nuts!

I'm sure some of you are thinking, 'What a douche!' Maybe...I know I've changed since I've had kids...Something happens to you when you are there pulling a life out of the woman you love...It's the scariest and most amazing moment of your life...The wiring is a little different after that...

So I guess as our kids grow up, and grow out of things...We need to follow suit...

Later, The Beeze.

15 Movies...Some Nonsense from Facebook

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it...Fifteen movies you've seen that will always stick with you....First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes....Tag fifteen friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what movies my friends choose...

Here we go...In no certain order...

1. Waiting...

2. Rudy

-

3. Goodfellas

4. Die Hard

5. The Deer Hunter

6. The Godfather

7. The Departed

8. Bull Durham

9. Beautiful Girls



10. The Usual Suspects

11. A Christmas Story

12. The Best Years of Our Lives

13. Some Like it Hot

14. Glenn Gary Glenn Ross

15. Juno

-

Sh!t, I could go on to 25...

-

Later...

-

The Beeze.

The A B C's of The Beeze (another facebook thing)

I've been on a bit of a vacation hangover...I'll get back to sharing details of the trip to Boston tomorrow...

But for tonight I'll post this nonsense...

You've been tagged; you are supposed to write a note with the ABC's of YOU. At the end, choose 26 people to be tagged. You have to tag me so really you just need 25 more people. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you - but not in a creepy stalker kind of way....

A - Age: 33 FOR NOW

B - Bed size: KING

C - Chore you hate: ANY AND ALL YARD WORK

D - Dog's name: NO DOG

E - Essential start your day item: EMPTY BLADDER, DRINK COFFEE, DROP A DEUCE...AND IT JUST GETS WORSE FROM THERE.

F - Favorite color(s): BLUE

G - Gold or Silver: SILVER

H - Height: 5'7"....5'9" WITH MY SKATES ON

I - Instruments you play: GUITAR

J - Job title: "I'm a thief, a liar, an angel in the fire...I'm a king, a drug, the push that comes to shove...I'm a freak, a star, I'm everything you are...I'm your Jesus, I'm your pride" Or Cook!

K - Kids- GIRL(7) BOY(4)

L - Living arrangements- WIFE, TWO KIDS, AND ME.

M - Mom's name: MOM (if we called her anything else my dad would beat our ass)

N - Nicknames: THE BEEZE...SOMETIMES HONEY...SOMETIMES ASSHOLE

O - Overnight hospital stay other than your birth: BIRTH OF MY KIDS

P - Pet Peeve: WINDOWS OPEN WHEN THE AC IS ON....PEOPLE WHO WON'T SHUT UP...(POT MEET KETTLE)

Q - Quote from a movie: FROM WAITING...(IT'S A LITTLE LONG...TOO BAD)

Monty: [Standing in bathroom stall with his bare torso exposed] I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right?

Mitch: Yeah.

Monty: Well, listen. You can put that faggoty baby to bed right now. None of the guys that work here are gay.
[gets dressed]

Monty: I mean, I'll stick my finger up my ass every now and again when I'm feeling squirrely, but that's about the extent of it.

Dean: [meeting new trainee Mitch] Listen, man. You got nothing to worry about.
[pats Mitch on shoulder]

Dean: It's just a game.

Monty: Exactly.

Dean: And besides, you know, if heterosexual men can't show their cocks to each other, then what the hell are we doing here?

Monty: Amen, brother.

Dean: [tweaking Mitch's nipple] You're adorable.


R -right or left handed: RIGHT

S - Siblings: KEVIN (OLDER) PAT (OLDER)

T - Time you wake up: WHENEVER THE KIDS ATTACK ME...6:30-7:00 AM

U - Underwear: BOXER-BRIEFS

V - Vegetable you dislike: CALIFLOWER

W - Workout style: DOES SEX COUNT?

X - X-rays you've had: LEFT HAND, RIGHT HAND, MIDDLE FINGER ON LEFT HAND, RIGHT SHOULDER, LEFT SHOULDER, RIGHT ANKLE, RIGHT FOOT,HEAD, FACE, CHEST.

Y - Yesterday's best moment: UNLOADING ALL OVER FLOOR NEXT TO MY PC!

Z - Zoo favorite: I HATE THE ZOO!

Later, The Beeze.

15 Books

It's been awhile since I posted one of those Facebook notes here...Last night I got hit with one, so what the hell...This was is quick and simple...Here we go...

Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you’ve read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes. Copy the instructions into your own note, tag 15 friends, and be sure to tag the person who tagged you.

This is in no certain order...

1. Twilight of Innocnce -Badal

2. They Don't Play Hockey in Heaven -Baker

3. Death Be Not Proud -Gunther

4. Siddhartha -Hess

5. To Kill a Mockingbird -Lee

6. Happy Endings -Norton

7. Why My Wife Thinks I'm an Idiot -Greenberg

8. Choke -Palahniuk

9. Ethan Frome -Wharton...I hated it, but I could never shake it.

10. To Kill the Irishman -Porrello

11. In the Wake of the Butcher -Badal

12. The Rest of the Iceberg -Smith

13. They Died Crawling -Bellamy...He's got a whole set of great Cleveland crime books.

14. Holy Blood, Holy Grail...(The book that inspired Dan Brown) - Baigent, Leigh, and Lincoln

15. Why We Suck - Leary

Later, The Beeze