Thursday, September 24, 2009

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Bed...



That's what I was saying a couple months ago...

Let me start by saying, this is nothing sexual...Yes, sex is what started this whole problem, but this post isn't about sex...This first popped into my head after an old friend named Bridget had commented on facebook about the new found independence of her daughter, and a feeling of not being needed...It's amazing how Kindergarten changes them...

It got me thinking about my two kids, and how they've grown...And how hard it can be...Part of our job as parents is to have them ready for life in the real world...Yet when they start taking those steps, it can hurt...The first time you go away for a weekend, and leave them with grandma and grandpa...Those first days of school...Their first sleep over...And it's just gonna get worse as they get to the point of dating, and asking for the car keys...F**k that!

Lately, I've been dealing with some of these feelings myself...

There's a problem in our house with sleeping...I call it a problem, but I think my wife and I hold on to it...Maybe it's our way of feeling we're still needed...

When my daughter was born, and the first year or so, I was working an average of 67 hours a week...Her bound with my wife seemed even stronger then the typical mother daughter bound...She slept in our bed every night...Hell that's the most I saw her for awhile...Their bound hasn't been broken yet, and she ends up in our bed at some point, almost every night...

My son is about to be 5...I gave up on sleep almost 5 years ago...He had many problems as a baby...First there was a reflux issue...Prescription for Pepcid fixed that...Then there was trouble crapping, and getting gas out...This caused him serious pain and discomfort...The worst was at night when he was trying to sleep...He was constantly trying to push gas out...Crying and miserable...The only way he could get a few hours of solid sleep, was if he was being held...Every night, there I was on the couch with my boy...This went on for months...Even after the doctors put him on a formula that cost $40 a can...A can lasted a day...That was when we officially went broke...

He got in the habit of being snuggled...And I had gotten in the habit of comforting him...Up until a month ago, I would end up in his bed...He would be calling for me, and in I went...Why not...His big sister was stealing my covers anyway...But I felt we had to break these habits...Then he realized his sister was always ending up in our bed...So he started giving that a try...Now I was getting pissed...We've been working hard at it for a couple weeks now...He's doing better then his sister...He did the last 5 nights without coming up, or calling for me...I'm proud o him...

So now comes the strange part...I think I'm having more trouble adjusting then he is...All I've wanted was to get a good nights sleep in my own, wonderful, king-sized bed...Now I find myself, worrying about him...Wanting to check on him...I know...I'm f**king nuts!

I'm sure some of you are thinking, 'What a douche!' Maybe...I know I've changed since I've had kids...Something happens to you when you are there pulling a life out of the woman you love...It's the scariest and most amazing moment of your life...The wiring is a little different after that...

So I guess as our kids grow up, and grow out of things...We need to follow suit...

Later, The Beeze.

5 comments:

-A said...

I just spent the last hour playing with my boy in his room because he's sick.
Every time he gets sick I suggest he just sleep with us, but the husband won't have it... might be a blessing in disguise.

Mostly I try not to think that far ahead. Right now I just think about the fact that a half hour ago, coughing, sneezing and smearing snot all over his face for no reason, when I moved, he thought it was the funniest thing in the world and started laughing so loud I though he'd wake his dad...

Cuddling and kisses from your child are more addicting than heroin.

afrankangle said...

First of all, the bed image is awesome.

Great story and point. Now we don't have kids so I can't related, but I commend the challenge you put on yourself and other parents. I'm sure that letting go isn't easy.

Evan "McSpazz" Edwards said...

Beeze,

Don't feel alone. I think a lot of us parents deal with the same issues when it comes to our kids and bed time. We too are in the process of getting our youngest daughter to sleep on her own along with going to bed to fall asleep instead of falling asleep on the couch to only be carried up later.

Our son Happy was a God send when it came to sleeping he has never had an issue like this, but I have dealt with it with all three of my daughters.

Let me tell you sleeping with twin in a twin bed was quite uncomfortable, but I did it because it gave me piece of mind knowing they felt safe. I did that every night for over a year. To this day the two end up in bed together at some point every night.

It is a big bag of mixed emotions to watch our kids grow up and need us less and less on a daily basis. So I too hang on to those sleeping issues for my own well being. In time I feel these will all wash away, but in today's "growing up way too fast society" it is extremely hard to let go.

I wish you and your wife the best of luck in accomplishing your goals, but I know you will keep those kids close enough not to let them get screwed up by the forces of the outside world. Which grows into a bigger mindf*ck every day.

The BEEZE said...

Thanks for reading and for the comments gang...

-A, there is nothing worse then when they are sick...I'm not afraid to admit I love a good cuddle...

Evan, thanks for sharing what you're going through...and I will keep them close...I consider myself over-protective.

aking said...

You have no idea. We are on pepcid too. When she first came home we were so nervous because she always had someone watching her 24/7. Now she is starting to sleep though the night and when I get up in the morning I have to make sure she is breathing. When we get around to #2 we will have no idea what to do with a newborn at home. I can totally relate and it is nice to hear that other people are just as neurotic as me. It is also nice to hear that I won't be a cold son-of-a-bitch in 3 months. Right now she is sleeping in her car seat on the kitchen table and I am still afraid that she is going to wake up and some how throw herself off the table.....she is just 8lbs. I must be nuts.