Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Time For Some Skull F***ing!

It's been awhile since I've been in the mood to plunge my hog into some idiots' skull...But I'm in a mood today...So let's get started on the latest winners of The Beeze's Skull F**k Award!

First, I've beaten up Indians manager Eric Wedge a lot this year...Well we got some good news today...The Tribe Finally fired that dolt...But I don't want him to leave town without taking one last load in the eye...

But wait...I'm feeling a to-for...That's right, if Wedge is taking one...I gotta give his buddy, GM, Mark Shapiro one too! This jackass should have been fired too...Oh, what the hell...Let's add a third...Indians owner, Mr. Dolan...Here's a steaming load for you too...Why you ask....For not firing Shapiro, and not ditching Wedge sooner...

At the rate I'm going, I'm gonna need a cheat code for all the c*ck I'm dishing out tonight...

Next...Browns coach, Eric Mangina...This guy is just a dummy...Plain and simple...'I'm not naming the starting QB, cause I don't want to.' DOUCHE! Then when it was leaked on twitter, what did he do...'I'm not naming the starting center.' No one cares DOUCHE!

Then he benched Brady Quinn Sunday and put in Derek Anderson, who proceeded to throw 3 interceptions...NICE MOVE DOUCHE! So who's starting this week? Anderson...DOUCHE!

Mangina, is looking like a future Skull F**k Hall of Famer...

Next, on the topic of the Browns and the Quarterback position...The next Skull F**k is going out to all those dolts in the media, and all the knuckle headed Browns fans, who actually think Derek Anderson starting at QB is going to improve this team...Listen, if Jesus was playing QB for the Browns, it wouldn't help...The #1 receiver drops more passes then he catches...The #2 receiver is the second coming of Steve Tasker...The O-line only beats the opponent when they jump too soon...The #1 running back is on the back-end of his career, while the # 2 running back is a 6th round pick who is far from ready to carry the load...The defense...Not that great...But I feel bad for them...They never get off the field, so by the second half they're totally winded...
Sorry people...The QB isn't what's making this team suck...It's the years of crappy management, bad drafts, bad ownership, bad coaches, including Mangina...You know what, I feel bad about this one...But people need to wake the hell up...So I'm gonna let a Steeler pass out this Skull F**k!

That does not look fun!
Last...this one is for my friend Cathy...She pointed something out to me on facebook...I started looking, and she was right...I, like her was totally annoyed by it...There seems to be couples, some married, some just dating...Who feel the need to post there love for one another on each others facebook walls...
"baby I love you." "you're so sweet" Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah! NO ONE CARES!
We don't need to see it...True or not...I think most people do it because their relationship actually sucks, but they don't want people to know...TOO LATE!
Listen, if you want to post something like....'My husband just tongued my a$$ so good, it had my p*$$y singing Oh Come All Ye Faithful' ...I'm okay with that! Or maybe...'I had my strap on in Johnny tonight...Rectum...I nearly killed 'em!' ...That would be great!
But if you need to post "I love you honey, you're the best." on you significant other's wall...There's a problem...Try this instead...Walk into the other room, and tell them to their face...It might actually mean a little more....
You've now been Skull F**ked!
Later, The Beeze.


3rdStoneFromTheSun said...

the blocking still blows, a recipe for disaster

guess Mangina got tired of Rick Mirer Jr tossing 2 yard passes?

that said - they still probably could beat my Redskins

-A said...

Firstly, all the Cleveland sports stuff is sadly true... :(
We often discuss how Mangini is that creepy guy that lives on the corner that no kid will go to on Halloween because you know you'll be there for 5 hours as he rants about nothing.

And the facebook comment... thank you for saying it out loud. That's a conversation my hubby and I have once a week in our house. Those are the same d'bags that did that at the bar and I hated them at the bar.
If you're really happy you don't need to justify it with the world on a daily basis.
Please stop lying and go buy me a sundae.

the end

bwsmith25 said...

I'm still trying to figure out how Shapiro kept his job. Maybe I don't want to know...

As for the Browns, why don't they go ahead and trade Quinn to someone (cough cough, the Panthers, cough cough) who will actually play him?

Entertaining as always Beeze.

The BEEZE said...

Thanks for reading and commenting gang...

It's funny cause it's true!

It's also sad that it's true...Stupid Browns...Stupid Indians...Stupid facebook...

B-Dub, I think one of these two guys will be traded soon.

Anonymous said...

Count me in on those wondering how Indians GM has kept his job as I thought both would go with one big swoop.

As for the Browns, ownership has used the catch-fish-with-a-gun approach ever since gaining the franchise. And how many GMs and head coaches has he gone through?

Check out the last two ... hires a Raven who hires someone from the Belichick tree. So both are fired and who does he hire ... a Raven who hires someone from the Belichick tree.

Sad ... very sad ... but hey ... there's hope as my Bengals are coming to town.

I've been able to avoid Facebook to date ... thankfully because blogs take enough time!