This post is inspired by Cherie / Butterfly Dreamer....http://butterflydreamer-dreamlight.blogspot.com/2009/02/what-do-men-want.html
She wrote what I consider a beautiful rant...I love a good rant...It started some good comments also...Then I also got a great e-mail tonight...I'll be sharing what that is about later this week...But right now, I thought I would share my take on what men want...Well at least what I want...
It would be easy to steal the three Fs from a great comic..."Feed me! F**k me! And shut the F**k up!
But that's not it...Maybe because my wife can't cook...No sh!t, she has burned water...Seriously...Her in a kitchen doing anything but getting bent over by me is bad...
As boys, and continuing as we grow into men we are taught women are complex, and impossible to figure out...We as men are often portrayed as dolts...A lump of sh!t sitting on the couch, watching the game, scratching our junk, and being told to stop procrastinating....Oh and we never put the seat down...What a crock of sh!t....I always put the seat down, and I close the lid!!!
Girls, and women are told that men aren't sensitive...and need to be trained...I got a train for ya!
Some of us are just as sensitive as women...But the difference...Women are told that their emotions and sensitivity are good things...Boys growing up are often taught that these are bad things...The only time to show emotion is when playing sports...But don't you cry pussy....Many boys are taught to suppress things...Their old man saying..."Don't be so soft!" "Stop being so sensitive!"
"Knuckle up!" So on and so forth...
Now I know some people are saying The Beeze isn't sensitive...Mr. F**k this, and F**k that...Mr. you're a C*nt...But you're wrong...I've got a soft side...And yes I hide it often...Look at my profile picture...A f**king goalie mask...I would say that speaks volumes....With help,I have been slowly pulling the mask away...
You women have us pegged wrong...We are just as complex...That's why there is the natural attraction between men and women....(Well most of the time)
Now to what men want...Well at least speaking for myself...Shut up during the game...You can talk during commercials...I doubt it's anything important...Especially when I just Jr.'s college fund on the Patriots, and Brady just got knocked out of the game...
Try some of this freaky sh!t I watch on the computer every night...You don't like the fact that I watch so much porn...Then be willing to get dirty once in a while...
At least pretend like you're listening when I'm talking about how the Rangers pissed me off tonight....If I gotta listen to go on and on about those stupid ass Twilight books, you could at least return the favor...
If we are at the movies, and it's something we haven't seen yet...Don't ask me what's going to happen....I've seen the same sh!t as you...If I could see the future I wouldn't have wasted $20 to go see this piece of sh!t...
Now this is the BIGGY....
I want a BLUMPY!!!
If you don't know what this wonderful gift is...Wow! You need to find out...I'm here for ya....A BLUMPY is when you are getting a blow job while taking a sh!t...
You're thinking WTF Beeze!?!
Don't knock it until you try it....I enjoy dropping a good deuce...Mix that with the joy and beauty of a woman wrapping her lips around the business end of my c*ck...Now that is wonderful....
Problem is not many gals are up for that kind of challenge...I've only received this gift from two women...They both charged by the hour...Ha!!!
Mrs. Beeze gave this a big NO!!! Followed by a What the F**k is wrong with you...
But hey, I said I was gonna say what I want in this post...There it is....
I'd give up on the others for the Blumpy....In the long run it may be easier to drop and gobble while I dump, then to pony up the rest of the list...
Later, The Beeze
13 comments:
You do realize that if your wife agrees to this shit you can never post it because if you do, you will have guys from all over the country offering you money to borrow her services for an hour. LMAO
Just making sure you realize this.
But of course, it could be a great business opportunity -- Beeze's Bodacious Blumpies -- it does have a nice ring to it LMAO
The triple B...LMFAO!!!
She's made it clear that ain't happening...But it's good to dream...
If she did do it, You wouldn't hear from me for at least a week...I'd be in shock!
There has to be some scientific rule that states if you blow your load while dropping a deuce your body will break down from pleasure overload. I just don't see how it can be possible for one man to endure so much pleasure at one time.
LMAO!!!
It's amazing...Better than anny drug!!!
LMAO! The whole freaking thing - your blog, the comments and the general fact you bring up blumpies. Maybe you should ask on your birthday. Up your chances a little.
Crack me up.
Maybe if you dressed up as Edward you'd have a better chance...?
;)
Glad you liked it...I'm slowly becoming an open book...
Maybe if you agreed to do a Clumpy, which I just made it. Same act, only switch up the roles
A Clumpy could get messy...LOL!
ahh... I am the QUEEN of the open book! I feel it lessens the burden of my life if I dump it all on unsuspecting voyer driven folks who like to read blogs.
I swear at this point of my life I maybe have one or two secrets left and I'm just holding on to them for kicks. That and the court order.
though you had be blow snot bubbles in laughter reading this on TSN, I HAD to return here just to see BLUMPY again
Now that is a combo meal that can't be beat. Hilarious and true post, Beeze. I loved it and my wife thinks your a "dirty pig" and now understands why I like your blog so much. I see her brain turning, maybe a clumpy will turn into a blumpy for me. I wish all the dirty girls wouldn't figure out that us guys will pay for anything, especially a blumpy.
Damn...
There is something seriously wrong with you, dude. I'm LMAO, but it's wrong...so wrong.
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