Not-so Blockbuster Trade

In an odd pre-trade deadline move the Toronto Maple Leafs moved under-performing and grossly overpaid winger, David Clarkson and his $5.25 million a year contract that still has 5 years left, to the Columbus Bluejackets...Clarkson had just one 40 point + season before signing the deal...Give the guy credit for cashing in, but it was just another in what has been long line of horrible moves by the Leafs...

In return, the Leafs got...Wow, this one is great....

Nathan Horton and his $5.3 million a year deal...I believe it has 4 years left on it...That said, since signing that 7 year deal with the Jackets, Horton has barely sniffed the ice...And it was announced this year that Horton is suffering form a degenerative back injury and it's likely he'll never play hockey again...Now he'll get put on the Long-term Injured Reserved list, so he won't be a giant waste of cap space...

But seriously...Toronto blows and wants to dump salaries...And rebuild, again...Why not just say, 'Here, take Clarkson and give us some pucks and water bottles, maybe throw in  a7th round pick...No, okay just the pucks!'

Normally with trades everyone talks winners and losers...I guess this clunker is a wash!

The Beeze.

The Browns do it Again...

Do what again, you ask?

DISAPPOINT!

My father got to experience some greatness from the Browns during his life...Me, all I've gotten is disappointment...Which let to me completely turning my back on them more than a few years ago...

Over the last two weeks all the media in Cleveland has been buzzing about the Browns "changing their logo and uniforms...There was much speculation and rumor...Countless fan ideas posted around the Internet...But they were all wrong...As you can see from the picture above, the changes are minor...The helmet/logo is the same, with the exception of a brown facemask, and deeper shade of orange...It was said last night that the orange will probably be more metallic, the way we have seen so many college helmets go...

The Dawg for the Dawg Pound got re-worked too...Big fucking deal!

Here is the official release from the Browns website...

Yep...There it is...And now they will start hyping the unveiling of what little they're going to do to the uniforms...This is it...This is the big news in Cleveland...

So lets just rundown the Browns top offseason news stories...

- Johnny Manziel goes to rehab...

- Josh Gordon fails another drug/alcohol test and will suspended for at least the entire season...

- GM Ray Farmer admits to texting down to the sidelines, giving input on personnel and play calls...(some say he jumped on that grenade for owner Jimmy Haslam, as it was originally reported that Haslam was doing the texting)

- And the Browns change their logo...A brighter orange and a brown facemask...HOLY FUCKING CHANGE!  Jesus this organization is just one letdown after another...

The best thing about the promotion I got this past year, is that I work every Sunday...Even in the past when I didn't work Sundays, I tried to avoid the Browns, but I would catch some...I would watch a bit and all that frustration would come back...It's so nice having that out of my life...

But all week, I heard the guys at work talking about this big change...All their speculation...And of course the TV news guys getting all moist hyping it up....How disappointed they all must have been when they saw this release...I wonder how that Shill Jim Donovan will spin this into a great fucking thing...

I hope it was all you dreamed it would be Cleveland...

Looking forward to hearing you get hyped for the draft, just to be disappointed again...

the Beeze.

Seriously? Grow the Fuck Up!

I've sat on this story for a few days now...I just can't figure out who are the bigger fucking assholes! These ass-hats in Pennsylvania who dress up like dick-bags from yesteryear, and have a big to-do over a stupid fucking rodent crawling out of it's hole, and supposedly seeing it's shadow or not...

Seriously?  This is how you're going to forecast?  I get it, the Weather Channel is wrong 50% of the time...Local weather-casters are wrong constantly...But You're going to put your faith in this asshole groundhog...That you named Phil...And you act as if he is an all-knowing, weather guide, that has somehow never died...Grow the fuck up Pennsyltucky!

But wait...It gets worse...The City...Town...Of Merrimack New Hampshire issued an arrest warrant for Phil...Seriously!?!  Yes, I know it's just a joke thing...But do you really have nothing better to do with your time?   Are the taxpayers in Merrimack really happy about their civil servants wasting time, money, and energy on this crap...Everyone involved in this should be fired, yesterday!

And you live in New Hampshire...Aren't you suppose to be hearty New Englanders, that can handle Winter?  I thought all you fucking New Englanders loved living in a place with all four seasons...So you get tough Winter and turn into cunts and want pretend to arrest a fucking groundhog, because somehow that will make you all feel better!?!  Holy fucking shit!

Is Merrimack run by complete and total retards? It must be...Grow the fuck up!

And for everyone else...It's February...It's Winter...It gets cold...It snows...Why the fuck is everyone acting surprised, like this is the beginning of the apocalypse...It's fucking Winter cunts!

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

I hope all had a good week...The first two days I was at work for about 26 hours...Then I was on vacation the rest of the week...Not for anything exciting...The Mrs. had to have some minor surgery, so I had to be around for that and to be Mr. Mom...Something I didn't mind too much...I haven't had a lot of time with the kids lately...Too bad it's in the negative degrees category....But we don't have 8 feet of snow like they do in Boston, so fuck it!

I've spent too much time hearing this fucking 50 Shades of Grey movie/book...From everything I've read it's a story that if it was happening in real life, women would be telling their friend to stay away from this asshole, abusive creep...But it was book that got women moist, so they (generally speaking...Not all of you) are all drooling over it, and calling it a sexy love story...Mind you, if you tried to get your wife/girlfriend to do some of the shit this guy does with his chick, she'd tell you to go to hell...For fuck's sake, how many of these skirts that are all moist over this movie/book, won't watch hardcore porn with you...Most of them right...My wife liked the book...Wants to see the movie...Won't watch hardcore porn with me...Shit, she won't let me tie her up, and whip the shit out of her either....WHAT THE FUCK!

Fuck that movie...You can lick the 50 shades out of my ass!

-Saturday night I was watching the Notre Dame vs. Providence hockey game...And jumping to the Bluejackets vs. Islanders game...You know, 'cause I'm a man!  Then while looking at my phone, I saw something on Twitter about there being a fashion show at the NBA "All-star" weekend...Now I already had no respect for basketball and the NBA, but when I saw that, I knew there was no hope for that silly game...Yeah, I get it...All these guys want to be music and fashion moguls like their idiot hero, Jay-Z...You know they guy that built himself up from being a drug dealer...Fucking dolts!

-And while I'm dogging basketball...Sunday I was given another reason to never support the Cavaliers...Hell, really all pro-sports in this town probably....I have often ripped on this city, and reading THIS article, the whole damn county is full of and run by fucking idiots!

Taxpayers have paid out $154,852,113 for cost overruns for the Quicken Loans Arena and other bullshit in the Gateway area...(Progressive Field and shit)...$88,701,131 came from the "general fund"....I don't know, I would think we would want to use that "general fund" money on important stuff, like our shitty schools, police and fire departments who are always the first to take cuts when their is a budget crunch....Maybe fix a couple of these bridges...Or rehab a shit neighborhood that we've ignored forever...Nope...And Cavs owner Dan Gilbert and city officials think we should continue to do so for another 17 years...17 more years of paying for their cost overruns...NBA teams will share $2.66 billion in TV revenue this year, but aren't expected to pay for any of their buildings costs....And While I'm dumping of Cleveland and Cuyahoga County, this shit goes on all over this country...

Dan Gilbert, you won't see me in your Casinos, or at you basketball teams games, or doing anything to put my money in your pockets...That is except for the money you and the county officials are stealing from me...Fucking whores!

-Lastly, I joked about a month ago, that I was going to get out my old art supplies and start working on my career as an offensive cartoonist...Well, Friday the kids and I went to the one art store and loaded up on stuff so we could do some projects and keep them out of  Mom's hair...A kit for making necklaces for the girls...Clay and paper and glue sticks for Molly and Tomas...this and that...And I got a sketch pad, pencils, and a set of drawing pens...I knocked a few things...It was fun to be drawing again...I even did my first stereotypical, Islamic terrorist...Then Saturday another cartoonist had an attempt on his life in Denmark...Then another shooting in Denmark...

So, Sunday I was inspired...I did a quick sketch that would not be liked by certain Islamic assholes...I planned on posting it...But my wife would prefer I didn't...Now me writing this probably doesn't help...I'm sure is some nut-jobs that hate me and want me dead just for typing that I drew some bullshit...Hell, they'd probably want me dead for half the blogs I've written....But out of respect for my wife, for now I won't post it...For now...Maybe I'll work on it...Get it just right!

That said, fuck these assholes...And these ISIS fuck stains...These twats need to all be wiped out...I actually sat and watched the video of the Jordanian pilot being burned alive...Just to be clear, the guy doing their videos could have had a career in Hollywood...that's' how well it was done...You actually forgot what you were watching was real life...That's how well it was shot, and edited...But then I slapped myself, and reminded myself that this shit was real...So I am all for these fuck-sticks being wiped off the face of the Earth...And Initially I was the guy saying, fuck it...They're over there....Let all those bitch-ass countries in the Middle-East handle it...Handle their own mess...Clean up their own damn neighborhood...But the fact of the matter is, is that these assholes have passports...they're from countries all over the world, and they're running around Europe shooting cartoonists...

So, can the dipshits in the Middle-East, and fuckers in Europe, and us, and everyone else with a slight bit of sanity get together and end these pricks, so my wife won't fear for my family's lives because I wrote a blog, or drew a picture that might upset some fucking twat!

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

How was your weekend? Not as fun as it would have been if you were with her I'm guessing...

I had some quality time with the kids Saturday...Building snow forts with my son and Molly, and sledding down our mini hill...As much as I was disliking Winter in my post on late Friday night/Saturday morning, kids know how to make it fun....

Later that evening, I took my daughter to the Father/Daughter Dance at their school...That's always a nice time for us...The girls get to have fun together, and the dads get to shoot the shit and catch up...And yes, some quality one on one time with our girls...

-Did you see Gronk spiked the puck at a Bruins game this weekend? Of course you did!




Shit, it's Gronk...All he does, is catch passes, party, screw chicks, and spike shit...I hope he trademarks his damn spike before the NFL does, and screws him out of all kinds of cash...

-The Grammy's were Sunday....Luckily I had to work...But I saw some shit pop up on facebook and twitter....I guess that ass-hat Kanye West ran up on stage when Beck won "Album of the Year...He stopped himself, and played it off like a joke...But in a post show interview, made it clear he wasn't joking...

I just know that the Grammys, if they want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain’t gonna play with them no more. “Flawless,” Beyoncé video. And Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyoncé and at this point, we tired of it. Because what happens is when you keep on diminishing art and not respecting the craft and smacking people in the face after they deliver monumental feats of music, you’re disrespectful to inspiration. And we as musicians have to inspire people who go to work every day. And they listen to that Beyoncé album and they feel like it takes them to another place. Then they do this whole promotional event, that, you know, they’ll run the music over somebody’s speech, the artist, because they want a commercial advertising. Like no, we not playing with them no more. And by the way, I got my wife, I got my daughter, and I got my clothing line so I’m not going to do nothing to put my daughter at risk — but I am here to fight for creativity. That’s the reason why I didn’t say anything tonight. But y’all know what it meant when ‘Ye walked on the stage.

Okay, let me dissect the idiotic shit that just fell out of this fuck-tards face...Apparently, Beyoncé is the only fucking "Artist" out there...I'll be honest, I haven't heard her album, nor have I heard Beck's album...I'm no fan of Beck, but the guy writes all his shit...He plays all his shit...I would consider him an artist...Beck doesn't owe Beyoncé shit...I've heard, and read some of her lyrics...I even wrote a blog about one of her ignorant songs a couple years ago...People write music for Beyoncé to shake her ass to, (or "sample") and lay down her vocals over...Yeah, she can sing...Way to go!  I'm not that fucking impressed...

And who's fucking Beyoncé? Jay-Z or you...Because you're the guy constantly running to her defense...Are you just that thirsty for that ass you can't get? Or did you get it, and can't get enough...Last I saw, you had a disgustingly fat ass at home on your gash of a wife!

Next...Kanye, could you please go back to 5th grade fucking English class...Holy fucking, shit on a cracker...Were you having a competition with some one on who could use the worst fucking grammar?  Please, please give us just one more double negative, it makes you sound so fucking smart!

And since Kanye considers himself an artist as well...I just want to ask this...What has he written that was original...Not all that sweet "sampled" music...And not his stupid fucking lyrics...I can go to work today and get at least two guys to throw down a rap and it will be more original then the crap you constantly recycle...

Why are you threatening to not take part in the Grammy's anymore...Do everyone a favor...Don't show up...No one will miss you...I promise...Everyone is always happy to have one less giant fucking asshole at the party!

Also, referring to yourself as "Ye" really makes you sound a like a douche-snozzle...

Of all the rappers that get shot, why hasn't anyone shot this fucking dolt!

I think Kanye was a little pissed that he lost to Kendric Lamar as well!

I just looked at the list of winners....Who the fuck are these people...Ryan Adams lost...The Grammys suck balls!

-Lastly...Before I sat down to write...I watched the ESPN 30 for 30 "Miracles of Men"...I hate ESPN, but the 30 for 30 series is great...This one was about the opposing side of the "Miracle on Ice"...A look from the Russian players perspective...But it gives you the History of Hockey in Russia, up through the first Russian to getting into the NHL. ( He was on the 1980 team)...It's really good...Give it a watch.

Have a week...

The Beeze.

Is It Spring Yet?

It's official...I'm over this Winter shit...I have been thinking about how great it would be to move...Start a new adventure with my wife and kids...A fresh start, somewhere else...Take a chance...My wife and I have always wanted to go to the Pacific Northwest...Seattle, Portland, shit like that...The Mrs. and I joked about moving to Seattle...Thursday night, she came in from walking the dog...It was 4 degrees out...I had already had my fill earlier in the day shoveling the snow...She gave me a look...I pulled it my phone and looked at Seattle's weather...I said, "Honey, it's 57 degrees with a light rain in Seattle."  She replied, "Let's move!"  Unfortunately, there would be a serious pushback from our kids...Especially our oldest...

So for now, all I can do is look forward to Spring...I've always been a Fall and Winter guy, but as I get older, I can do without Winter...And with Spring comes Baseball...I miss Baseball...Not so much MLB...And not even Fantasy, which after winning two leagues  last year is surprising even to me...

Surprising to me, I miss coaching Baseball...This past Summer was the first time not coaching my son and a team in baseball, after 4 years of doing it...When I took my promotion at work, coaching was taken off the table...And my son decided not to play...I'm not sure how much of that had to do with me not coaching, but it bothered me that he didn't want to play...His attention deficit made it hard for him standing out in the field...But he was really good, without trying very hard...I was hoping to get him into the little details, but he just didn't want to do it...I wasn't going to push too hard...I never want to be the pushy sports dad...

I'll be honest, as I always try to do when I write...I've been finding myself getting depressed lately...Mostly late at night...There is a point that I should go to bed, but instead I stay up...I may watch a movie, or TV...But I slip off  into my head and just get into a funk...

One recent evening I started thinking about my days coaching...When I stopped, I had a feeling of relief, because my last season, there was a lot of bullshit with the rec department and the people running the league...It seemed the only people that gave a damn were about 6 of us coaches and a handful of parents per team...

But as I thought more, I really missed it...I was proud of how I coached...How I treated each kid the same...How they all got to play ever position...How if a kid on  my team made fun of a teammate or a kid on another team struggling, they ran a lap, and were warned not to do it again...And no parents gave me shit about it...They supported it...When I had a tiny girl, playing for the first time in her life, and learning everything from us, her teammates cheered for her when she was close to tears, and parents followed...They didn't bitch that I gave her extra time in the batter's box at practice, over their kid that had no problem hitting...They barked at the umps for calling a strike on a ball over her head...

I thought about a Saturday scrimmage another coach and I setup, because so many games got rained out the one year...We played 3 innings, then some kids had to go...We mixed up the remaining kids, along with some older siblings that were there and played another 3 innings just for fun...After that I had kids wanting to stay and have me throw them batting practice...kids from 8-12 years old, all taking turns, for almost 2 hours...My arm was shot...But we had a blast...

I was proud that parents asked to have their kid put on my team...I was surprised when at a high school football game this year with my oldest, multiple kids that had been on my teams, walked up and said "Hi coach!"

I'm not trying to toot my horn here...I'm not the best coach...I wasn't the best coach in the league...But kids on my teams got better each season, and they had fun...I learned more each year, about baseball, about kids, and myself...I'm proud of my time coaching, and I hope I can find a way back to it some day soon...

I miss practices...I  miss games...I don't miss saying, "Stop playing with the dirt!" (the t-ball days)....I miss a bit of the chaos...I miss getting on the Ump for a bad call...I miss coaching...I miss Baseball...


Now, I'm going to get a drink, and sit in the dark with my friends Kenny Burrell & John Coltrane...





The Beeze

Monday Moaning

I had some Seahawks cheerleaders all ready to post here, but I have to be fair...Let the victors have their day...The New England Patriots came from 10 points down, to win the "Super Bowl" 28-24 over the Seattle Seahawks...

And I have no problem with the Patriots...I have firmly said in the past that Tom Brady is the best QB of my lifetime...And in a normal year I would have been pulling for the Pats, but I signed with the Seahawks a few years back when I went free agent with my fandom...So I was all in...Molly and I rooting against my Boston born wife and her Pats...And I have to say, it was one of the best "Super Bowls" I've seen...It was a great game...But the ending hurt...

27 seconds on the clock...Seahawks on the 1, maybe 2 yard line...2nd down...And instead of feeding it to Marshawn Lynch, they decide to over think things and throw a quick slant on a pick play...And the Patriots corner jumped the route and snatched victory from the jaws of defeat...Pete Carroll took all the blame on himself...Good, he should have...It was THE DUMBEST PLAY CALL EVER!

Now, honestly my wife didn't care a whole lot...She's there like so many others, to see the commercials and possibly the halftime show...And I would like to thank the ad execs everywhere for the worst batch of "Super Bowl" commercials ever...There were two, maybe three that were funny...All the others were either really fucking depressing...Or just way too serious...There were at least 4 that tried to preach to us dads that we suck, and we should be better fathers...FUCK YOU! mother fucking judgmental fuck-stains...

I'm a fucking awesome dad...I walked away from the game to check on my oldest daughter who found out that after 3 dates with some little asshole, that he didn't like her...That's right, the big game is on, but my daughter is crying, so I'm trying to explain to her that there are gonna be a lot of stupid boys out there, and it will be okay, while telling Little Beeze to get the shovel because we're going to be burying a little fucking asshole tonight...(Lucky for him my wife didn't let us boys leave the house)...

Back to the commercials...While just about all of them sucked, the worst was a Nationwide Insurance commercial...A little boy telling us all the things he'll never do, because he died...Yep, some one is getting fired this Monday morning...Little Dead Kid has gone viral already...

Yeah, there's the dead kid...Depressing all the "Super Bowl" viewers...

Way to go Nationwide...Yeah, people are talking about your ad...People remember it...For all the wrong reasons...They were having fun, watching a great game, drinking, eating buffalo chicken dip, and you come in, pull down you pants, and take a big, steaming, depressing, dump all over the coffee table...FUCK YOU and your dead kid Nationwide!

This "Super Bowl" also had a quality injury...Although NBC was quite shy about showing it...Normally they replay a gross injury shot over and over...Nice INT Jeremy Lane...

 

Sorry about your wrist bro!

As for the halftime show...I wanted no part of that crap...I took a dump, then I took the dog for a walk...Little bastard loves the snow...Got a fucking blizzard going on, and he wants to play in the snow...Little asshole must think he has some Husky in him...

All my Boston friends and family...Congrats...Fucking city of champions! It was a great game...The only game I watched more then 10 minutes of this year...It was nice having a Sunday off of work with the fam...Stuffing my face, and being totally annoyed by the mess that is the NFL and horrible commercials...Oh, and that fucking idiot play call Pete Carroll!

I hope you all had a good "Super Bowl" Sunday...Now I'm going to shovel the driveway again...

Have a week...

The Beeze.