Monday Moaning

I had some Seahawks cheerleaders all ready to post here, but I have to be fair...Let the victors have their day...The New England Patriots came from 10 points down, to win the "Super Bowl" 28-24 over the Seattle Seahawks...

And I have no problem with the Patriots...I have firmly said in the past that Tom Brady is the best QB of my lifetime...And in a normal year I would have been pulling for the Pats, but I signed with the Seahawks a few years back when I went free agent with my fandom...So I was all in...Molly and I rooting against my Boston born wife and her Pats...And I have to say, it was one of the best "Super Bowls" I've seen...It was a great game...But the ending hurt...

27 seconds on the clock...Seahawks on the 1, maybe 2 yard line...2nd down...And instead of feeding it to Marshawn Lynch, they decide to over think things and throw a quick slant on a pick play...And the Patriots corner jumped the route and snatched victory from the jaws of defeat...Pete Carroll took all the blame on himself...Good, he should have...It was THE DUMBEST PLAY CALL EVER!

Now, honestly my wife didn't care a whole lot...She's there like so many others, to see the commercials and possibly the halftime show...And I would like to thank the ad execs everywhere for the worst batch of "Super Bowl" commercials ever...There were two, maybe three that were funny...All the others were either really fucking depressing...Or just way too serious...There were at least 4 that tried to preach to us dads that we suck, and we should be better fathers...FUCK YOU! mother fucking judgmental fuck-stains...

I'm a fucking awesome dad...I walked away from the game to check on my oldest daughter who found out that after 3 dates with some little asshole, that he didn't like her...That's right, the big game is on, but my daughter is crying, so I'm trying to explain to her that there are gonna be a lot of stupid boys out there, and it will be okay, while telling Little Beeze to get the shovel because we're going to be burying a little fucking asshole tonight...(Lucky for him my wife didn't let us boys leave the house)...

Back to the commercials...While just about all of them sucked, the worst was a Nationwide Insurance commercial...A little boy telling us all the things he'll never do, because he died...Yep, some one is getting fired this Monday morning...Little Dead Kid has gone viral already...

Yeah, there's the dead kid...Depressing all the "Super Bowl" viewers...

Way to go Nationwide...Yeah, people are talking about your ad...People remember it...For all the wrong reasons...They were having fun, watching a great game, drinking, eating buffalo chicken dip, and you come in, pull down you pants, and take a big, steaming, depressing, dump all over the coffee table...FUCK YOU and your dead kid Nationwide!

This "Super Bowl" also had a quality injury...Although NBC was quite shy about showing it...Normally they replay a gross injury shot over and over...Nice INT Jeremy Lane...

 

Sorry about your wrist bro!

As for the halftime show...I wanted no part of that crap...I took a dump, then I took the dog for a walk...Little bastard loves the snow...Got a fucking blizzard going on, and he wants to play in the snow...Little asshole must think he has some Husky in him...

All my Boston friends and family...Congrats...Fucking city of champions! It was a great game...The only game I watched more then 10 minutes of this year...It was nice having a Sunday off of work with the fam...Stuffing my face, and being totally annoyed by the mess that is the NFL and horrible commercials...Oh, and that fucking idiot play call Pete Carroll!

I hope you all had a good "Super Bowl" Sunday...Now I'm going to shovel the driveway again...

Have a week...

The Beeze.

LeBron Is Still a Douche...So Is Pete Carroll

So LeBron James made that tweet on October 11th...Really asshole, you're gonna just up and play football...This jackass just can't stand not having his name out there in the media...So he's gotta stir up some bullshit...

Then stupid ass Pete Carroll has to feed his ego by tweeting this photo to LeBron...



What couple of douches!

Hey Pete, you may want to hold off until LeBron actually wins something, and doesn't quit on his team in the playoffs...

Fuck-stains!

Later, the Beeze.

Some Pent up $h!t

So all week I've been wanting to post something...Each evening went by, and I never got around to it...The kids have kept me busy...The wife is sick, which has the kids keeping me a little more busy...

After leaving work, picking up the kids, getting them a snack...I make a pot of coffee...The get on with the rest of my duties...I've been knocking back a pot of coffee everyday this week after 4:00 PM...Yet, by the time I get everyone to bed, I've just been wiped out...I'll watch some hockey and doze in the chair...I take a quick look on facebook, and twitter, and shut it down for the night...

Today I got home and said, "I'm posting a blog after dinner." Well, technically, it's still after dinner...I've spent about 2 hours just catching up on reading other blogs...And well, a number of things I was going to talk about have been touched on...Some even beaten to death...

But here I am...So I'm just going to rattle off some stuff, and get it out of my head...

Pete Carroll will be a flop in the NFL...Again! Way to run away from that little storm that's been brewing at USC Pete...

Lane Kiffin showed once again that he's a douche...After one year at Tennessee, he's running off to USC...I don't get why this guy seems to be in high demand...He just leaves a bucket of sh!t where ever he goes...And now the kids he recruited are screwed...Coaches can leave whenever they want, no matter how long their contract is for...But the players they recruit, get punished if they want to transfer somewhere else, (lose a year of eligibility) after this douche left them high and dry...That my friends is bull$h!t...

Then there's the whole Big Mac story...

So the other day I go to McDonald's before work...I order a Big Mac...They're like, "Sir, we're serving breakfast right now." And I say, "What? You don't have any Big Mac's lying around until after 10:30AM...This is McDonald's for God's sake!"

Oh, you thought I was going to talk about Mark McGwire...F**k that ass-hat!

So anyway, I say, "Listen thaw me out a Big Mac...Give me a chocolate shake...And ya know what, I'll have a couple of those hash browns!" I settled for a Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit...F**king McDonald's all uptight about not mixing lunch and breakfast...

Since we brought up McGwire...That whole thing was such a bunch of crap...Nobody was surprised...We all knew you did it...Stop the crying you f**king child...I hope this sudden bit of honesty keeps his juiced ass from ever getting into the Hall of Fame...As a matter of fact...Who the hell are these few writers who vote for him? What the hell is wrong with you!?!

Let's see here...Bert Blyleven and Ron Santo can't get in...But some f**k-tard is gonna vote for this cheating piece of sh!t...If any of these juicers get in, Pete Rose better get in with them...What a buch of crap...

What the hell else has me fired up tonight...I watched the New York Rangers lose to the Ottawa Senators, and some rookie goalie tonight...WTF! They lost 2-0...One goal was an empty netter...Hey guys, Lundqvist can only do so much...He stopped 32 shots...Ya think maybe you guys can score a couple goals here and there, just to make his life a little easier...Torts needs to light some people up!

The same goes for you fellas from Columbus...The 'Jackets lost to the Blackhawks 3-0...This lack of offense from the teams I follow is killing me!

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I think that'll do it for now...But I want to leave with something that cracked me up today...I was listening to the Opie & Anthony show, and at one point comedian Jim Norton was plugging his show at the Cleveland House of Blues in February...He said how he loved Cleveland...That "Cleveland had the best chicks." Opie asked what made them so special...Norton responded with, "They have the fattest, meatiest p*$$ies!" and that "they really know how to f**k."

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So true!

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Here's a taste of his twisted humor...It my be offensive to some viewers...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

I'll start by saying this...Thank God I didn't bet on any of this week's playoff games...And thank God I didn't post any predictions...If I would have, I would have been 0-4...

The original Browns beat the Patriots 33-14...Was that Tom Brady playing QB or Greg Brady?

How about that Green Bay vs Arizona game...The Cardinals win the battle of who can play the least amount of defense...I thought maybe they changed the rules to, the first team to 100 wins...And some how, the Cards win on a score by their shit defense...Unreal...

Saturday the Jets took it to Ocho and the Bengals again...Not shocked, but I would have gone with the Bengals...Then, as I sat in Dina's Pizza & Pub that night...The Cowboys beat the living sh!t out of the Eagles again...Holy Tony Romo won a playoff game...Old Jerry Jones must have creamed himself...

Since I brought up Saturday night...A good time was had by all...The Mrs. and I went out with our friends Bryan and May...We had some good eats, and plenty of drinks...Dina's is normally gentle on the wallet...But it's pretty amazing how those $2 shot specials add up...

I spent plenty of time groping and embarrassing the wife...Note to the DJ...If you don't want to hear me sing...Don't play Journey while I'm drinking...I was also catching some glances from a "male hair dresser"...They may have been because I was simulating oral sex on a beer bottle...AWKWARD!

And I can't forget the dancing lady...I would guess close to 50 years old...She was there with her bald husband, and making him feel very uncomfortable...She was down with OPP...And everyone got a good sot of her shaking her old fat ass all over the place...Then May got up and danced one with her...AWKWARD! Or was the awkward part when Bryan and I gave Baldy the rock when we were leaving, and he looked at us like 'who the f**k are you?'

After that...Pay the sitter...Get upstairs...Clothes off...It was time for some old school bumpin' uglies...I was feeling this morning too...After dropping the morning deuce, I think I strained my oblique muscle wiping my ass...

But after a pot of coffee...4 Motrin...And a snowball fight with the kids while the wife took a nap, I was feeling better....

Some more football news...Word on the street is Pete Carroll will be leaving USC and become the new head coach of the Seattle Seahawks... http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/seahawks/2010761357_hawk11.html

Well, it may be time to throw away my Seahawks cap...Carroll had it made at USC...I don't know why he'd want to leave...The egos in the NFL have got to be much harder to deal with, then in college...That combined with the fact that his last stops in the NFL didn't go so well...Some guys are cut out for it...And some aren't...I think Caroll is built for the college game...Just like Steve Spurrier and Butch Davis...I'm predicting this as another fail for Carroll...

Next I want to talk about something that went on last week at Facebook...One day I noticed a number of female friends statuses were simply one word...A color...Most of my friends said white...there was one pink...A black...And there was a NONE...My status became a question...WTF is this about...A friend pointed out that it was just females, and to "use your imagination"...So then I thought 'is the type of c*ck they like?'...Then I thought, 'what about the chick with the "Pink with brown and lime green polka dots?" She needs to see a doctor!'

In the end, I found out it was their bra color...This was suppose to raise breast cancer awareness...I don't know if it worked...But it raised something!

So for the gents out there...This week, I'd like to raise some junk swing awareness...Your status should be either left or right...If you say down the middle, you better be naked, or you're just not packin' much...So let the world know how your junk's hangin'...

Speaking of junk hangin'...This week the Little Beeze was in rare form...When isn't he...One night I was getting him ready for bed...He was a bit wound up...So I took his hands and said lets shake the craziness out...And we shook the hell out of him...He was really liking it...Then he said, "Mom come here!" When she came in the room he started shaking himself around and said, "Look at mt pee pee swing!"

That's my boy!

Another night when he was being a pain in the ass...I said, "Little Beeze, I'm tired of this!" He responded completely straight faced and serious with, "Dad you're suppose shit at the end of that."

That brought on a dirty look from the wife...This kid is gonna be the death of me...

That's it for now...Have a great week...

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Later, The Beeze.