A Little Spanking Taking You Into the Weekend

Since Monday's post lacked it's normal vibe, and didn't get into things I planned on getting into, I figure, why not end the week with what I normally start it with...But if you missed Monday Moaning, check it out...The mainstream media ignoring decades of sexual child abuse in the U.S. Swimming program, has to stop...And I will continue to beat on this story until all these evil bastards are in jail, or killed for their crimes...

That said, let's talk about the sale of the Cleveland Browns...Jimmy Haslam, a minority owner of the Steelers dropped a billion dollars to buy the Browns from Randy Lerner...To which I say, Thank God!

I was talking about this with my one brother at a family event...He's the genius brother, who does nothing with his brains and 3 degrees...He's also mentally unstable, especially when talking sports...(And you people thought I was nuts)...So I say how I'm thrilled the Browns have a new owner, and that Lerner is finally gone...He flies off the handle, saying how he's so sick of Cleveland fans blaming owners...I brought up Lerner taking $80 million of Browns revenue, and dumping it into his stupid English Soccer team...He went off saying, "It's his money, he can do whatever the fuck he wants with it!"...And I replied, that doesn't mean Browns fans have to be happy about it...Just last year, Lerner was asking for tax-payers to pay for repairs on the stadium...Umm, fuck you, we built it...If you want upgrades and repairs, you do it!

Lerner made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Football...That's why he gave fatty Holmgren a $10 million a year contract, to run the entire thing...Lerner didn't even go to the Owner's meetings...Fatty did...My brother brought up Lerner having to still be paying four different head coaches and thing like that probably lead him to releasing control...Hey, fuck him...He hired them, and fired them...That's not our fault...Lerner was horrible, for the NFL, The Browns, and Cleveland...Christ he spent 95% of his time in New York or England...My Brother also bitched about how he was "probably sick of getting bashed in the media"...Hey, that's what happens when you own a sports team...And that's what happens when you religiously shit on the media...

Lerner out of the picture is great...And Haslam saying he's going to do things right, and how he learned them from the Steelers, is awesome...Browns fans may not like that, but the Steelers have a pretty damn good track record...

Then this week coach Pat Shurmur named Brandon Wheeden the starting QB...Well, I would hope so...They spent a 1st round pick on him, and he's 28, his career is half over already...Get him out there...It's been reported that the news made Colt McCoy very sad...I'm sure his father will get in front of a camera and bitch about this...But shit, look at Colt...I think he's still dizzy from the hit he took from James Harrison last season...And McCoy family, while you're down about this, just remember that little Colt didn't make a pass longer then 15 yards last year...Kid has a fucking rag arm!

But that's not all...The Browns #1 pick this year, Trent Richardson spent Thursday having an arthroscopic knee surgery...It's being called "Routine" and they are hoping he'll be ready for the opener...It already feels like it's going to be a long year...

Oh, and then there is the report that star corner back, Joe Haden failed a routine drug test during the off-season, testing positive for Adderall, which is often used by people suffering from attention deficit disorder, and narcolepsy...Adderall is on the NFL's banned substance list...But there are reports that it was prescribed by a doctor, and they may help get Haden out of a possible suspension...

Now, to the other sports team, who's owner my brother supports...the Cleveland Indians...After the All-star break, the Tribe started to slide...And as the trade deadline approached, and passed, the Indians did nothing...Actually they traded a minor league knuckle-baller to the Red Sox for a minor league OF...A left-handed OF...Even though this team has desperately needed a right-handed bat for 3 years...So instead of doing something that could maybe give the team a boost, the front office threw in the towel, and it has shown on the field...The Tribe has looked like a steaming pile of shit...

And yes, most fans blame ownership for not putting money into the team...I blame Mark Shapiro first, because this ass-hat has just made some horrible fucking trades, and desperately thinks he can do some kind of Billy Beane magic trick...Guess what Mark, you can't! But I also blame Mr. Dolan...This guy always says he's going to kick in the money, when the team is ready...Well this team had shown some guts through the first half, and he didn't do shit!

My knucklehead brother, again feels the fans have no right to bash this dick...Fuck my brother, and fuck Dolan...My brother actually said, "If I had to put up with this shit, I'd move the team."....So I said, "Okay, find a city that is going to build a stadium for you, because Dolan sure as hell won't spend a dime, and he won't want an old stadium...Oh, and a city that is actually big enough, with a strong enough economy, to support another major sports franchise...Doesn't sound that easy, does it?" All he came back with was, "Well, I'd really have to look into it." Genius my fucking ass!

My brother is one of those twats that bitches about fans not filling the seats, so why should Dolan spend money, yet the last time he actually put his ass in one of those empty seats was when I got tickets for myself, and my brothers to take our dad to a game on his birthday, 3 years ago...Yeah, my brother reminds me of a certain gash!

I need a laugh after this ranting...And hell, why not use a laugh, that can also be used as a warning for some of the language I use...




Have a great weekend!

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Well I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day...Could it have been as good as this slut's? I doubt it!

Mine wasn't very thrilling...I had to work at the Fish House...Not known as a St. Patrick's Day hot spot, but we had a solid night with good push for a couple hours...I also forced a little Irish on to the special sheet...First we had my Grandma's Salmon cakes with some arugula and mustard aioli for an appetizer...Then we had Pan Seared John Dory with Colcannon and a Tomato Vinaigrette...We sold that bad boy out! How can you go wrong mixing cabbage with mashed potatoes!?!

In sports the big talk is all about how almost every one's brackets are busted already...Duke, Missouri going down early was great...Ohio University beating Michigan was great too...But honestly, I don't care about basketball...I did a bracket just for shits and grins...Hoping people's would fall apart and I would look like a genius...I never thought it would work...But I had Ohio U. going to the sweet 16...I got Marquette going to the final four...Oh yeah, not knowing shit about basketball is paying off!

Then there was the NFL "Free Agent Frenzy"...As expected, the Browns did jack-shit...They let Hillis walk...Then they let safety Mike Adams walk...That guy has been a consistent, hard-nosed player...Shit, the secondary just got weaker...Then the cut Eric Steinbeck...After pumping sunshine up our ass about how good the OL would be when he got back from his injury...But wait...They signed Froste Rucker! A DE with 4 sacks and 2 domestic battery charges...Well at least they are still all about bringing in quality, character guys!

They blew the trade up to get RG3...And clearly had no backup plan...They didn't even try to talk to Matt Flynn, who signed with Seattle...Actually other then Rucker, it seems like they haven't talked to any free-agents...This team desperately needs 1 or 2 veteran WR's yet they didn't make a move on any...And I don't care that Cleveland isn't a desirable place for free-agents...Buffalo landed Mario Williams...Have you been to Buffalo? It's a little Cleveland...

It's also fucked up that the Browns, one of the youngest teams in the NFL...With hardly any talent, only has $17 million in cap space...What the fuck...Clearly these fuck-stains have written up some bad deals!

I have no faith that the big, fat, walrus, Mike Holmgren, his GM Tom Heckert, who didn't attend the Senior Bowl or combine, (I don't care about your health issues, do your job fuck stick) and their idiot head coach, Pat Shurmur, will ever turn this train-wreck of a franchise around...

And I have even less faith in owner Randy Lerner...Lerner who cares more about his English Soccer team, Aston Villa, has shown little to no interest in the Browns since he took them over after his father's passing...And as for Aston Villa...They lost $85 million last year, and Lerner turned around and dumped another $40 million into that mess...Yet this fucking cunt wants the city of Cleveland and the tax payers of Cuyahoga County to pay for repairs and renovations and that stupid ass Browns Stadium...EAT A DICK RANDY!!!

As for me, and my little world...I've been battling a lack of inspiration for a couple months now...Even when I have something on my mind, I find myself looking at the screen for awhile, and then just shutting it down...I'm trying to work through it...I even turned to the work of the brilliant and talent singer-songwriter Damien Rice for inspiration...He writes some amazing and brutally honest songs...




The kids are doing well...And our decision to send them to a private Catholic School next year was recently reinforced...The wife and I were dealing with some other family matters, when the school nurse called my cell and started by saying, "It's not an emergency, but your daughter was being choked by a boy on the playground." Umm, how the fuck is that not an emergency!?!

So of course I flew off the handle, mother fucking everyone and their brother...Let me be honest with you all...The staff at the school was lucky I was 2 hours away when they called, because if it had been a normal day, shit would have gotten real!

The asshole, fucking boy choked my daughter, because some little, cunt, bitch told him to...And I don't feel bad at all describing kids like that...They're fucking assholes...The main reason, because their parents are fucking assholes...I'm sick of single parent households, and a bad home life and other bullshit being an excuse for kids being assholes...I'm not saying that these things don't have an effect on kids...They do...I'm saying, I'm sick of all the shitty parents who suck at raising their kids...Or just flat-out, don't raise their kids...Fuck you, you fucking fucks!

That's it for now...Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

All I can hear in my head is, "I come from a land down under!" Or did Men at Work mean cum!?!

So the NFL had their "Pro-Bowl" and the NHL had their "All-Star" game this weekend...Love hockey and football but "All-Star" games are crap...The NHL skills competition can be fun to watch, but I'm losing interest in that these days too...Now they do a shoot-out thing, trying to be like the NBA's dunk contest...Guys hot-dogging and using props...Everyone was swinging on Patrick Kane's nuts, but his moves weren't the best...And I had more fun watching the goalies try to fuck with the shooters...Nobody is giving Carey Price any love...He turned his back to the shooter and watched his reflection in the glass, and he made the save!

Prince Fielder signing in the D was cover plenty already by everyone and their brother, and I could give a damn about Basketball...So what to talk about in Sports? Well, in a shocking update, I will defend a sports writer from The Cleveland Plain Dealer...The PD as we call it, is a piece of shit! Just a horrible paper...And now former Browns beat reporter Tony Grossi was not a favorite of mine...But I'm sticking up for Tony Grossi today...WHY? because his own shitty bosses, at his shitty paper didn't!

Last week Grossi who has worked the Browns beat for 18 years, tweeted that Browns owner, Randy Lerner is "a pathetic figure, the most irrelevant billionaire in the world."

Now, I don't disagree with him at all on that! But Grossi quickly deleted the tweet when he realized what happened, saying it was suppose to be a text messaged "smart-(aleck) remark to a colleague." He also apologized to Lerner and the Browns...

But the damage was done as many followers re-tweeted it...Why wouldn't they? Finally, a reporter covering the team, said what we had all been thinking for quite some time! Fans are always talking about how Lerner is never at games...Always watching his Soccer team in England, or in New York with all his big bank buddies, plotting how to rape the middle-class more...Grossi was right on, and Browns fans were happy some one cut loose...Sadly, Grossi back-pedaled...Most likely fearing for his job...Right again, because instead of having his back in any way, shape, or form, the yanked Grossi off the beat...

And no matter what they try to say, I'm sure Lerner and the Browns organization made it clear, that they didn't want to see him again...Since Lerner took over after is father's death the franchise has come across as thin-skinned...It's skin got even thinner when the walrus, Fatty Holmgren came on board...Snapping at the media for questioning him, and the direction of the team...Snapping at the media because they wanted questions answered...Saying, "You're with us, or your not, and remember that when you come looking for playoff tickets." Try winning 6 games first, you fat fuck!

Listen up Fatty and Lerner...Here's the only trophy you two fuck-stains will be seeing...


And before people get on Grossi and his Twitter slip-up, just as they do whenever some dope gets in trouble because of a tweet...I personally know a Plain Dealer Sports Writer...Known him for years thanks to my dad...I have sat next to his drunk ass in a fine Cleveland watering hole, as he hit on my wife, and she laughed at him...Three minutes later, he was sleeping on the bar...None of these PD hacks want to be on Twitter...They were forced get Twitter accounts...There is a reason my dad isn't on Twitter...Guys that age don't need or want to fuck with new technology...They don't want to be on the grid anymore then they already are...They don't have the same Look at me mentality as Ashton Kutcher and I do!

So the PD made Grossi get on Twitter, but when he makes a mistake, they don't have his back...What twats...If they had any balls, class, and credibility, they would have said, 'Our guy made a mistake, and apologized, it's over and done with. If you don't like it, too bad.' But we know that won't happen...So Tony Grossi, I don't know where they are going to stick you, other then in the ass...So I suggest start writing a column, so you can get away with blasting dopes like Lerner...And put Twitter to good use...Shred all those pricks that didn't back you up...Burn that shitty bridge to the ground!

-Lat week I blasted TIM_THOMAS...Plenty of people disagree with me, but fuck it, I stand by what I write...Taking a political stand, and saying it has nothing to do with politics sounds retarded...Then after calling attention to yourself and your stand, and refusing to talk about it continues to make you look retarded...Let alone, I thought how you originally made your statement made you sound like a dolt!

-Little Hockey here...Have you ever heard of the Bakersfield Condors? That's okay...But you gotta figure, if you're playing Hockey in Bakersfield California, you better know how to fight...



These two teams racked up 14 ejections and 278 penalty minutes, with 18 fighting majors!

Want to learn more about Hockey in Bakersfield...I suggest the book, "They Don't Play Hockey in Heaven"...Great book about life in minor league hockey, life after cancer, and life.

-Well we started in Australia, we may as well end there...




Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

An Open Letter to Browns Fans

It's time...Time for me to sit you down, and tell you what needs to be said...I'm not the only one...There are a few guys on the new 92.3 "The Fan" that feel the same...But I don't know how many people are listening to the channel that use to be the best music station in Cleveland, and is now sports talk...Now we're left with Oldies, 80's, and ACDC and Pink Floyd being rammed down our throats...I've had enough of that...But this post isn't about Cleveland Radio...

This post is about the Browns, and Browns fans who are loyal, to a fault...I grew up a Browns fan...I lived through some tough times..."The Drive" is always talked about...But it was Earnest Byner having the ball stripped from him at the goal line that made me cry...My loyalty and devotion to the Browns left, when the team left for Baltimore...We always saw players that we loved on our teams leave for greener pastures and greener money...But the whole damn franchise leaving showed just how little loyalty in sports meant...A fan base that hadn't had a winner since before the "Super Bowl" existed, sold out it's 70,000 plus seat stadium every game...And they got screwed...My team left and went to Baltimore...

So Cleveland may have won the legal battle to keep the colors and the name, it's team was still gone...So I've never been able to fully embrace the new Browns...But many people did...No one shits on my town Cleveland, as much as me, but I'll say this...Clevelanders, for the most part are good people, and loyal...Way too loyal...And they're very hungry for a winner to cheer for...Since 1999 Browns fans have bought into multiple team philosophies...Multiple coaches, GM's, multiple presidents, and multiple QB's...

It's time to STOP!

Stop making Randy Lerner's life easy...This guy barely notices what is going on with his team...He's more focused on his Soccer team...Hell lives most of the year in New York...Yet, Browns fans never hold him accountable for how the franchise is run...Stop putting money in his pockets...It's time to stop spending money on a losing product...You wouldn't continue to dump money into any other product in your life, that gave nothing positive back to you...The Browns are a drain...They take your money, and give you heartache, pain, misery, and shitty football!

Stop making Mike Holmgren's job and life easy...It's time the Walrus has his feet put to the fire...People just want to believe that because he won "Super Bowls" as an assistant coach and one as a head coach, that he knows how to run a football franchise...When he went to Seattle front office, he drove it into the ground...His only good decision was hiring GM Tom Heckert...And Heckert had a lot of catching up to do, after many years of bad drafts and free agent moves...Luckily, he has an eye for talent on the defensive side of the ball...Stop wasting your money!

Coach Pat Shurmur clearly refuses to look at what he has talent wise, and fit his scheme to fit with the talent...Colt McCoy showed flashes of excellence last year, on a bad team...Shurmur's offense has him stifled...McCoy has regressed this year...And The O-Line has struggled all year...Some of that has to be scheme...They have refused to put McCoy in the shotgun, which would buy him an extra second before he has to run for his life...McCoy either can't throw a deep ball...Sooner or later that will catch up to you in the NFL...Just ask Tim Couch!

Last year this team was lead by a power running game, and play action passing...NONE OF THAT this year...The WR's can't get open...Some run bad routes...Some just don't have the speed, or ability to beat a DB...Too many drops has been a problem for years...I think Braylon Edwards spilled a bottle of dropsies all over Berea, and they still haven't washed it all away...

And don't forget about that 3 year stint when every time a player had an injury, he ended up hospitalized with a Staph Infection...Why are you still spending your money on this team? STOP!

Monday October 31, 2011...Coach Shurmur's Monday Press Conference...It was the first time a Monday Press Conference lasted less than 10 minutes...WHY? Because Shurmur, who Holmgren said he wants to be the voice of the organization, has been pissy with the media on the rare occasions when they ask him the tough questions...Or when they push for a real answer...He is always defensive...Listen, when dumb things are happening, and the play is awful, and the offense is moving backwards, the press and fans are going to have questions...But this dick comes in there acting like he is Bill Belichick with 5 rings...Dude you aren't shit! So Monday, the press quickly got sick of his act, and stopped asking questions...Dead air...

The Browns are alienating the media...The fans will be next...The whole organization is going backwards...Stop drinking what they are spilling!

Tell me, what have the Cleveland Browns done for you since 1999? Not Much right! So why do you keep doing for them? Respect, honor, and loyalty are supposed to be earned, not just given away...The same goes for money...Stop giving yourself away Browns fans...Make these dolts earn your respect, honor, loyalty, and money!


Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Yes, this conversation has taken place more than a few times the last couple weeks in the Beeze household...But can you blame me?



No! It's not wrong at all!


Well the Holidays are over and it's a New Year, but the Cleveland Browns are still the same old, steaming pile of shit that they've been since 1999...But before I get into ranting and raving over the Browns, let me run down some other stuff in the sports world...

Friday, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish pounded on the Miami Hurricanes 33-17, and it wasn't really that close...The Irish defense, led by Harrison Smith's 3 interceptions, shut down the 'Canes all day...While the offense led by freshman QB, Tommy Rees, looked good, they could have blown Miami out...There were some points left out there, a problem they've had all year...I hoping to see a good competitive game, but I was more than willing to watch the Irish give out a beating...

Notre Dame finished the season strong, and I hope coach Brian Kelly can build off of it...It would help if he can convince WR Michael Floyd, TE Kyle Rudolph, and Safety Harrison Smith to come back for another season...

Staying with College Football, Pitt fired their new head coach, Mike Haywood, just three weeks after hiring him...Why? Well, Haywood was arrested for domestic battery in the presence of a minor...It's good to see there are some Universities that have standards!

Still staying with College Football...Hey Big-Ten, and Big-Ten fans...Your conference sucks! No seriously, YOU SUCK! Saturday Texas Tech beat Northwestern 45-38...Alabama beat Michigan State 49-7...Mississippi State beat Michigan 52-14...Florida beat Penn State 37-24...And TCU beat Wisconsin 21-19...Lucky for the conference Iowa pulled out a 27-24 win against Missouri on the 28th...

Wow! Not a good Bowl Season for the Big-Ten...Now, I'm really hoping Arkansas beats the shit out of Ohio State!

How about the Winter Classic...I have to tell you, I wasn't as into it as I was the last couple years...It was great in Chicago...It was awesome in Boston...But this year's in Pittsburgh, didn't have the same vibe...Maybe it's all the hype this one has had, with the HBO show and everything...And speaking of that...I have to say, I'm glad they showed Ovie and Crosby's true colors...Great clips of both of these superstars bitching about calls, and no-calls...And Crosby saying, "Fuck you Green" after Mike Green put his ass in the boards...I hate both of these guys, and I'm glad their bitchiness was put on display...

Now to the Browns...I wrote on Facebook, and Twitter during halftime of the Browns/Steelers game, that "Everyone involved withe the Cleveland Browns should be shot."

Maybe this is a bit harsh, but when you end your season with a 41-9 loss to your rival, your fan-base is going to be pissed...The Browns were out-coached, and out-played in every single aspect of the game...It was brutal to watch...

Now it's expected that coach Eric Mangina will get fired Monday...Not a surprise...But what really needs to happen? The team needs to be put on the market...It has been clear that owner Randy Lerhner could give a shit...This ass-hat is hardly ever at the games...He invests more time in his gay ass soccer team in England then he does the Browns...Sorry gay people if that offended you...Soccer people if that offended you, I don't apologize...Yes, it's a sport, I would never say it wasn't...It's just a stupid sport!

Anyways...Lerner has no damn interest in the team...That's why he hired Mike "the walrus" Holmgren to run the whole damn organization...So why not sell the team to some one who is actually interested in Football...

And Browns fans, why do you think he keeps serving you shit? Because you keep paying for shit...Try this...Don't buy tickets anymore...Don't buy merchandise anymore...Don't put any more money in his pockets...Then maybe, he'll realize he better put a quality product out there...Clevelanders, I'd love to see you take a stand, and stop wasting your money on this shitty product...

Fuck it!

Go Patriots!

One last thing...All last week, every "News" show was doing tributes to the people who died and will be missed in 2010...When they do this, it's only celebrities that they are talking about...actors, singers, athletes...You know what would have been nice to see for once...All the men and women who died in service of their country...It's really sad what a bunch of shit-bags the news media has become...

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Is Jim Brown Acting Like a Child?

If you ask me, I'll say yes...If you don't know what I'm talking, I'll explain...The Cleveland Browns are adding a "Ring of Honor" this year, to their horrible stadium...Seriously, that place blows! Before their opener they will be having a ceremony to induct their first class in the "Ring of Honor." All Browns Hall of Famers will be inducted...But Jim Brown has made it know, that he probably won't be there because of his, now soured relationship with the organization...Many fans are upset with Browns owner, Randy Lerner, and want him to fix this...NOT ME!

Why did this relationship go bad? Because Brown had held the title of "Executive Advisor" for a number of years, but when Lerner hired Mike Holmgren to be the team's President, Holmgen did what he felt needed to be done to try and turn the organization around...Brown was removed from his position...Out of respect and courtesy, he was offered another, more meaningless position in the front office, and refused it...Now he's pouting, and feeling slighted...Sorry Jim, but the only people who should feel slighted are the Browns fans that have seen nothing but crap from this organization since 1999...

Brown is well known for being one of the greatest running backs in football history...Maybe even the greatest...He also did some acting...How can we forget him in "The Dirty Dozen"? Brown is also well known for smacking around a woman or two in his day, because he's so classy...But many people ignore that because of his social activism, and working with gang members, to try and stop them from being dolts...Possibly dead dolts...But you know what Jim Brown isn't well known for? Making smart, and intelligent football decisions in the front office...How many have you heard of? I'll tell ya...NONE! Scoreboard Jim...Holmgren and the staff he has put together have a much better track record when it comes to front office moves...If I was Randy Lerner, I'd rather have Holmgren advising me, instead of Brown! Lerner may have actually made a smart move...

So yes, Jim Brown is acting like a child...If he doesn't show up for the ceremony, so what? I don't care about all that garbage...But many of his fans want him there, and honestly, that should be enough of a reason for Brown to be there...It isn't about the teams love for these great players, it's about the fans love for them, and he should give a little back.

Later, The Beeze.