Finishing St. Patrick's Day with a Bang!

This gives a whole new meaning to cum dumpster!   That's how you finish off or start off your St. Paddy's Day!

I wonder if he hit her up with the old, "Do you have any Irish in ya?" line!

Monday Moaning

Well I hope everyone had a good St. Patrick's Day...Could it have been as good as this slut's? I doubt it!

Mine wasn't very thrilling...I had to work at the Fish House...Not known as a St. Patrick's Day hot spot, but we had a solid night with good push for a couple hours...I also forced a little Irish on to the special sheet...First we had my Grandma's Salmon cakes with some arugula and mustard aioli for an appetizer...Then we had Pan Seared John Dory with Colcannon and a Tomato Vinaigrette...We sold that bad boy out! How can you go wrong mixing cabbage with mashed potatoes!?!

In sports the big talk is all about how almost every one's brackets are busted already...Duke, Missouri going down early was great...Ohio University beating Michigan was great too...But honestly, I don't care about basketball...I did a bracket just for shits and grins...Hoping people's would fall apart and I would look like a genius...I never thought it would work...But I had Ohio U. going to the sweet 16...I got Marquette going to the final four...Oh yeah, not knowing shit about basketball is paying off!

Then there was the NFL "Free Agent Frenzy"...As expected, the Browns did jack-shit...They let Hillis walk...Then they let safety Mike Adams walk...That guy has been a consistent, hard-nosed player...Shit, the secondary just got weaker...Then the cut Eric Steinbeck...After pumping sunshine up our ass about how good the OL would be when he got back from his injury...But wait...They signed Froste Rucker! A DE with 4 sacks and 2 domestic battery charges...Well at least they are still all about bringing in quality, character guys!

They blew the trade up to get RG3...And clearly had no backup plan...They didn't even try to talk to Matt Flynn, who signed with Seattle...Actually other then Rucker, it seems like they haven't talked to any free-agents...This team desperately needs 1 or 2 veteran WR's yet they didn't make a move on any...And I don't care that Cleveland isn't a desirable place for free-agents...Buffalo landed Mario Williams...Have you been to Buffalo? It's a little Cleveland...

It's also fucked up that the Browns, one of the youngest teams in the NFL...With hardly any talent, only has $17 million in cap space...What the fuck...Clearly these fuck-stains have written up some bad deals!

I have no faith that the big, fat, walrus, Mike Holmgren, his GM Tom Heckert, who didn't attend the Senior Bowl or combine, (I don't care about your health issues, do your job fuck stick) and their idiot head coach, Pat Shurmur, will ever turn this train-wreck of a franchise around...

And I have even less faith in owner Randy Lerner...Lerner who cares more about his English Soccer team, Aston Villa, has shown little to no interest in the Browns since he took them over after his father's passing...And as for Aston Villa...They lost $85 million last year, and Lerner turned around and dumped another $40 million into that mess...Yet this fucking cunt wants the city of Cleveland and the tax payers of Cuyahoga County to pay for repairs and renovations and that stupid ass Browns Stadium...EAT A DICK RANDY!!!

As for me, and my little world...I've been battling a lack of inspiration for a couple months now...Even when I have something on my mind, I find myself looking at the screen for awhile, and then just shutting it down...I'm trying to work through it...I even turned to the work of the brilliant and talent singer-songwriter Damien Rice for inspiration...He writes some amazing and brutally honest songs...




The kids are doing well...And our decision to send them to a private Catholic School next year was recently reinforced...The wife and I were dealing with some other family matters, when the school nurse called my cell and started by saying, "It's not an emergency, but your daughter was being choked by a boy on the playground." Umm, how the fuck is that not an emergency!?!

So of course I flew off the handle, mother fucking everyone and their brother...Let me be honest with you all...The staff at the school was lucky I was 2 hours away when they called, because if it had been a normal day, shit would have gotten real!

The asshole, fucking boy choked my daughter, because some little, cunt, bitch told him to...And I don't feel bad at all describing kids like that...They're fucking assholes...The main reason, because their parents are fucking assholes...I'm sick of single parent households, and a bad home life and other bullshit being an excuse for kids being assholes...I'm not saying that these things don't have an effect on kids...They do...I'm saying, I'm sick of all the shitty parents who suck at raising their kids...Or just flat-out, don't raise their kids...Fuck you, you fucking fucks!

That's it for now...Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning 2.0

I guess I didn't get everything else off my chest...I never did recap St. Patrick's Day...You see watching the local news on the evening of St. Patrick's Day, I got really pissed off...The lead was a brawl down at the parade, of about 15-20 black males...Some females mixed in too...But there wasn't only one brawl...This merry band of fellas trying to be Irish kept mixing it up...Then they kept it classy, by pissing on the front windows of some of Cleveland's finest restaurants...

Now, I'm not trying to be racist here...Hell I hope some one gets a kick out of this, but I'm pissed...Us Irish pricks are suppose to be the ones throwing punches and pissing all over the place on St. Patrick's Day...This is bullshit! So fuck it...I'm gonna fix this problem...Next year on MLK Day, I'm getting drunk as fuck, and gonna start punchin' mother fuckers...Oh, and I'm pissing all over the Barber Shop's front window...Fuck it, two can play this game...

You wanna play Irish guy for a day, then I'm gonna play Black guy for a day...

Now maybe all this was the news feeding us just what they want...Trying to feed the black guys are trouble stereotype to us...But stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason...'Cause enough of this shit happens to put on the news...Then of course my daughter asks why are people fighting at the parade? The wife doesn't like when I say things like, 'because they're dumb, drunk, fucking, assholes.' So instead I just said, they drank too much, and they're making Irish pricks like me look a lot better!

If that rant offended you, sorry...Tough shit...Fuck off!

Next, the United Nations....

The U.N. decided to put the smack down on Libya...Whenever the U.N. makes a call like this, what happens...The U.S. has to do there dirty work...Now our military is being thrown into a third theater of war...France and England were all big and bad, flexing their nuts, and now they need us to rain down the cruise missiles...

The U.N. is a bunch of pussies, who like to act tough, but need the U.S. to do the hard stuff...Have us do the killing...Then of course they never repay all the money we burn policing the world, thanks to their policies...And they sure as shit don't stick up for us, when so much of the world is saying what assholes we are...

How about this...Fuck the world, and let's start taking care of our own house...We have plenty of our own issues to worry about...The Middle East has been going crazy for months, and it's not going to calm down just because we blow up more shit there...Those people want to over-throw their governments...They have a long hard road ahead of them...It's their road...Not ours!

Okay, that's it for now...

Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits (Irish edition)

So Monday I said I was going to get into my thoughts about the end of the world...Well, I wanted to keep the Hump Day mood lighter, so I got into that wacky, deep stuff Monday night...If you want to check that out, you can find it HERE...

So St. Patrick's Day is almost here, so this week Hump Day post has an Irish theme...First maybe you'll want to take a peek at my St. Patrick's Day History_Lesson...

Okay, so I'm still having trouble figuring out what to write about when it comes to sports...I really don't care about the NFL's battle between players and owners...Rich guys bitching over billions of dollars just loses me...I haven't picked a side...I just don't care about these rich fucks...

I don't know shit about Basketball, but that didn't stop me from filling out a bracket...I've got Belmont shaking shit up, and getting two wins...You saw it here first! Winning it all, I got The Notre Dame Fighting Irish, taking down Syracuse in the final...Does any of this make sense? I don't know, and I don't care...Go Irish!

Now to a sport I have never written about...Skateboarding...Okay, I'm not writing about skateboarding, just a skateboarding douche!

I had always thought Tony Hawk cool...He put this sport on the map...And yes, I was watching the X-Games when Hawk landed the the first ever 900...That shit is crazy...What's crazier? Hawk ditching his third wife for his lifelong best friend, and business partner, Matt Goodman's wife...

Goodman and his wife Cathy have been married for almost 20 years...Who knows how long Hawk has been poppin' his pal's old lady!?! Tony Hawk has always pushed the limits, well now I guess he wanted to see how far he could push the messiness of divorce mixed with business...Put Tony Hawk up for all the awards...Tool of the Week...Douchebag Extraordinaire...He totally deserves a Skull Fuck!

Time for a drink...




How about we mix in a quality Irish Comedian...







True...





Also True...

Now on this fine Hump Day...Which of these lovely Irish Lasses would you most like to hump?


A.




B.




C.




Happy Humping...

Later, The Beeze.

St. Patrick's Day History Lesson

(I posted this last year, but why not share it again with those who missed it)


I'll start simply by saying Happy St. Patrick's Day...Get your green on...Find some place that is doing' kegs and eggs...And don't forget the corned beef and Guinness for lunch!

So what's the deal with this St. Patrick cat anyway...Well let's have a little history lesson...

St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland, and is one of the most well known figures in Christianity....His life remains a mystery....Most of the stories traditionally associated with St. Patrick including the famous account of him banishing all the snakes from Ireland...Even though there were no snakes...Are false, but have become well known because blarney....Or years, and years of exaggerated storytelling....No Irishman would ever do such a thing!

St. Patrick was born in Britain to wealthy parents near the end of the fourth century....It is believed to have died on March 17, around 460 A.D.....His father was a Christian deacon...It has been suggested that he probably took on the role because of tax incentives....There is no evidence that Patrick came from a religious family....At sixteen Patrick was taken prisoner by a group of Irish raiders while they were attacking his family's estate....They took him to Ireland where he was held captive for six years....There has been a dispute whether he was kept in County Antrim, or County Mayo...

He worked as a shepherd...afraid, and lonely he turned to his faith....And began dreaming about converting the Irish people to Christianity....

After six years as a prisoner, Patrick escaped....According to his writings...A voice, which he believed to be God's, spoke to him in a dream...Telling him it was time to leave Ireland....The stories say he walked 200 miles from County Mayo, to the Irish coast....Once back in Britain, Patrick reports that he experienced a second revelation....An angel tells him to return to Ireland as a missionary...He begins his religious training...After being ordained he is sent back to Ireland to minister to the Christians living there, and to convert the Irish...This is funny because it has often been said that St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland...

Most Irish practiced a nature based pagan religion....Having known their culture and language...Patrick chose to incorporate traditional rituals into his lessons of Christianity, instead of attempting to eradicate native Irish beliefs...The Irish were used to honoring their gods with fire...So Patrick used bonfires to celebrate Easter...The sun was a powerful Irish symbol...So he superimposed the sun onto the Christian cross...Creating what is now known as the Celtic Cross..

The Irish culture has always had a rich tradition of oral legend and myth....It is no surprise that the tales of St. Patrick, and his life have been exaggerated...

For me...Someone who has long questioned his faith...When I celebrate St. Patrick's...It's not so much about him...It's about family, and our heritage...And about those who struggled...Those who fought...And those who died...Many of them simply because they were Irish...

Later, The Beeze.