This is something that has bothered me for a little while now, but it really got stirred up today...With the kids switching schools, I had to stop by the Pediatrician's office and get their Immunization records...On the counter they had a stack of magazines called "Baby Talk" with a note saying "Free, take one!" So I did...Later in the evening I sat down on the crapper and started taking a look at this magazine...There was something that was really standing out to me, and I couldn't shake it...
It was totally geared towards moms...Now, I'm not here to dump all over moms, or my wife...She's great, and I'm sure you're all great...But 99% of the ads were aimed at mom...The articles, aimed at mom...The staff was moms...There was one male writer, who writes a blog for the company...He got a one page blurb in the back...It started out on the same path as I'm on, but finished weak, basically telling all the Dads like me to relax, and stop looking for any credit for being active fathers, because of the years and years of our fathers, and grandfathers reclining in their chairs, and drinking beers while mom took care of everything...
Well, I'm here to say, kiss my ass!
In our oldest daughter's first couple years, I was working 70 hours a week...My wife wasn't just the primary care-giver...She was the care-giver...Then here career path started to change for the better...She was climbing the corporate ladder...My career path has always sucked...So I stared working less, while she worked more...We now had two kids and were splitting the care giving duties evenly...
Now she makes 3 times what I do...I have cut my hours to just 30 a week...I get the kids ready in the morning...Off to school, and take the baby to the sitter...I go to work, and slam out some food to people in a much higher tax bracket then I...I pick up the kids...Often we hit a park...Help with the homework...I make dinner, or at least place the order...I do the dishes...We split up the baby's bath time...She does more laundry then me, but I do some...I put the baby to sleep...I have always gotten up with the baby...(I also handled the majority of the Little Beeze's getting up in the night when he was a baby)...She hasn't gotten up with the baby since her maternity leave ended...(the baby is almost 2, but I can't stop calling her a baby yet)...It's best for everyone if my wife gets a good nights sleep...
I take the kids to their doctors appointments...Dentist, and eye doc too...I coach the baseball team...I'm the one that deals with the teachers, or principal, if necessary...If they get hurt, I'm cleaning up the blood and patching them up...I would say, that at this point in time, I'm the primary care-giver...And I have no problem with it...I love it actually...But with the exception of a few blogs out there, written by dads, about dads, for dads, the rest of the world gives no credit to us hard working, active dads...
90% of the fathers portrayed on television, are made out to look like bumbling asses...Dolts that have no clue how to take care of their kids, and have no idea what is going on in their lives...They'll make a dad on TV struggle with changing a diaper...Let me tell you this, I can change some fucking diapers...If my wife puts the diaper on, there's going to be a leak some where...No mine...I put that little ass on lock-down...Nothings seeping out!
I know dads like me are in the minority, but there are more than you think...It would be nice to see "Baby Talk" and "Parenting" magazines show some love towards dad...It would also be great to see dads shown on TV in a more realistic light, instead of still being stuck in some 1950's stereotypical bullshit...And I'll also say this...These days, even the dads that are the primary bread-winners are a lot more active with their kids, then they were way back in the day...
It's time to give Dads some credit, and respect...Mom is awesome...My wife is an amazing woman, and a great mother...But I'm pretty fucking sweet too! (hey, I'm willing to toot my own horn!)
Later, The Beeze.
1 comment:
This was a great read Beeze, and it hit home too. I had to laugh when you talked about the magazines and who they're geared towards. When my wife was expecting my daughter I attended most of the ob/gyn appts. There I am sitting in the waiting room and if I was lucky I'd see another guy doing what I was doing, being uncomfortable amongst the hormonal looking for something to read. Only one problem, EVERY magazine was a women's or baby periodical. So after I think the 3rd visit Dr. Miller came in and he was a hot shit, maybe 40, his wife was an FBI agent and we always talked sports shit, drove the wife crazy. But this particular day I told him, ya know Doc, you have a lot of dad's out there and they're looking for shit to read and the wife has already filled my world with baby shit, you need to get some Sports Illustrated and Golf mags and maybe a Hockey News for us who are dying out in your lobby. He told me he'd see what he could do. Well I had 4-5 more months to go and I wasn't about waiting so I got him a gift subscription for SI in his lobby with a card and everything. I didn't tell him it was coming and about 3 weeks later we went to the office and there it was...only one problem, someone else was reading it...but that's ok, that's what I wanted, to take the pain of that office visit away for the dad and make him feel like he as in the can! When I saw the Doc he told me...you're a pretty funny guy, didn't want to wait for me to get it huh? I just told him that I figured he'd have more important things to do, like C-Sections and deliver babies at 3 am so I had his back He then told me he was seeing to it that there other things for dad's to read and don't you know, he filled his waiting room with all the shit we like to read...Dr. Miller feels our pain! Good stuff!
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