Okay, so that picture isn't exactly the way it is...But excuse me while I vent...
Things are crazy here lately, as we prepare for child number 3...My oldest is about to turn 9, and the boy just turned 6, and this week I just registered for a Babies-R-Us rewards card...We weren't planning on #3, but you know, I should have shot somewhere else!
My wife says I'm crabby or angry, all the time...That's not true...It's just that she comes home when I'm starting to lose it...I get the kids to school, go to work...Pick the kids up...Hang at the playground with them...Go home, do their homework with them...Do the dishes from the morning, and night before...Make dinner...And so on, and so on...
This week I felt it spinning out of control...My sanctuary use to be the bathroom...I'd sit down on the shitter to drop a deuce, and read The Hockey News...Many times, I'd stay in there for an hour...I had been done offloading for 45 minutes, but no one was pestering me for a snack...Or a cup of milk...Or asking me to draw them a shark...Or whatever...But this week it was made clear to me, that is all gone...
Yesterday I'm taking a dump...My daughter knocks on the door...She wants to do her multiplication flash cards..."Okay honey, let me finish." ..."No Dad, I have to do them now." She was adamant about it...So there I am, on the crapper, reaching flash card out the door, and waiting for her answer...
Of course the Little Beeze then needed some attention...So he just pushes the door wide open and starts explaining how he can do the monkey bars backwards...I already no this, because I was there, at the playground when he did this...I try to explain that, but if you interrupt his speaking, he goes bat-shit crazy...Funny how that works 'cause he's constantly cutting some one off...Then he asks for a cup of milk..."okay, buddy, just let me finish."
Then the girl comes back with the sheet from school, that has to be signed and dated, proving that she did her flash cards...
Then the wife comes home, and as I'm trying to wipe my ass, she pops the door open, to show me a blanket we got for the baby...I push the door closed and say, "Can I please just take a shit!"
I come out of the bathroom to a dirty look, and I'm told "You're always in a bad mood."
I promise, I'll never be in a bad mood, if you people just let me take a shit in peace!
Later, The Beeze.
2 comments:
I totally get what you mean about the bathroom. For some time now I have noticed that I take 20 minute showers and lets be honest it doesn't take that long. It's hard because the kids know that there is something coming that will change things and you are anxious because you feel the same way. Things will settle down. You should set up some ground rules with the kids. Let them know that this is your time and they are not to interrupt. Anything that needs to be done can wait. They are going to have to do a lot a waiting when the baby comes.
Well, we don't have kids, so I can't totally relate. BUT - I do know that time on the crapper is a time for sanctity. Your inner sanctum is no more.
Hope you days have improved since Thursday.
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