Monday Moaning

I'll start by saying this...Thank God I didn't bet on any of this week's playoff games...And thank God I didn't post any predictions...If I would have, I would have been 0-4...

The original Browns beat the Patriots 33-14...Was that Tom Brady playing QB or Greg Brady?

How about that Green Bay vs Arizona game...The Cardinals win the battle of who can play the least amount of defense...I thought maybe they changed the rules to, the first team to 100 wins...And some how, the Cards win on a score by their shit defense...Unreal...

Saturday the Jets took it to Ocho and the Bengals again...Not shocked, but I would have gone with the Bengals...Then, as I sat in Dina's Pizza & Pub that night...The Cowboys beat the living sh!t out of the Eagles again...Holy Tony Romo won a playoff game...Old Jerry Jones must have creamed himself...

Since I brought up Saturday night...A good time was had by all...The Mrs. and I went out with our friends Bryan and May...We had some good eats, and plenty of drinks...Dina's is normally gentle on the wallet...But it's pretty amazing how those $2 shot specials add up...

I spent plenty of time groping and embarrassing the wife...Note to the DJ...If you don't want to hear me sing...Don't play Journey while I'm drinking...I was also catching some glances from a "male hair dresser"...They may have been because I was simulating oral sex on a beer bottle...AWKWARD!

And I can't forget the dancing lady...I would guess close to 50 years old...She was there with her bald husband, and making him feel very uncomfortable...She was down with OPP...And everyone got a good sot of her shaking her old fat ass all over the place...Then May got up and danced one with her...AWKWARD! Or was the awkward part when Bryan and I gave Baldy the rock when we were leaving, and he looked at us like 'who the f**k are you?'

After that...Pay the sitter...Get upstairs...Clothes off...It was time for some old school bumpin' uglies...I was feeling this morning too...After dropping the morning deuce, I think I strained my oblique muscle wiping my ass...

But after a pot of coffee...4 Motrin...And a snowball fight with the kids while the wife took a nap, I was feeling better....

Some more football news...Word on the street is Pete Carroll will be leaving USC and become the new head coach of the Seattle Seahawks... http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/seahawks/2010761357_hawk11.html

Well, it may be time to throw away my Seahawks cap...Carroll had it made at USC...I don't know why he'd want to leave...The egos in the NFL have got to be much harder to deal with, then in college...That combined with the fact that his last stops in the NFL didn't go so well...Some guys are cut out for it...And some aren't...I think Caroll is built for the college game...Just like Steve Spurrier and Butch Davis...I'm predicting this as another fail for Carroll...

Next I want to talk about something that went on last week at Facebook...One day I noticed a number of female friends statuses were simply one word...A color...Most of my friends said white...there was one pink...A black...And there was a NONE...My status became a question...WTF is this about...A friend pointed out that it was just females, and to "use your imagination"...So then I thought 'is the type of c*ck they like?'...Then I thought, 'what about the chick with the "Pink with brown and lime green polka dots?" She needs to see a doctor!'

In the end, I found out it was their bra color...This was suppose to raise breast cancer awareness...I don't know if it worked...But it raised something!

So for the gents out there...This week, I'd like to raise some junk swing awareness...Your status should be either left or right...If you say down the middle, you better be naked, or you're just not packin' much...So let the world know how your junk's hangin'...

Speaking of junk hangin'...This week the Little Beeze was in rare form...When isn't he...One night I was getting him ready for bed...He was a bit wound up...So I took his hands and said lets shake the craziness out...And we shook the hell out of him...He was really liking it...Then he said, "Mom come here!" When she came in the room he started shaking himself around and said, "Look at mt pee pee swing!"

That's my boy!

Another night when he was being a pain in the ass...I said, "Little Beeze, I'm tired of this!" He responded completely straight faced and serious with, "Dad you're suppose shit at the end of that."

That brought on a dirty look from the wife...This kid is gonna be the death of me...

That's it for now...Have a great week...

-

Later, The Beeze.