Monday Moaning

Well Happy 4th of July gang...The wonderful celebration of Nation's birth...I feel I'm a patriotic person, so don't take this the wrong way...The 4th of July is one of those holidays I don't look forward to...Why? Because drunk ass rednecks shouldn't be playing with fireworks...And they sure as shit shouldn't be playing with them at 3:00 AM...But there's always one asshole in the Neighborhood who just can't stop blowing shit off...

Hey, I'm all for firing up the grill...


Putting on the ball game, and drinking some beers...Later on the kids and I go to the corner, and we watch some guy a street over blow off fireworks that probably cost him six months of his salary...Funny how the poor guy buys the professional grade shit...Sadly he thinks he's helping the economy, but the good stuff is made in China...

F**k I'm not sounding very Patriotic...



That's better...Anyways, I hope everyone had a good 4th, and didn't blow their dicks off...And I hope my friends up north had a great Canada Day...

Now let's get to0 some sports...First I want to ask..."What does Elin know, that Tiger doesn't want anyone else to know? Seriously, He's giving her $750 million in the divorce settlement, and 4 of their house, and all she had to agree on is, to shut the f**k up...'No books, no interviews, don't ever speak of me, or the 21 bitches I banged behind your back...Or I'm taking my money back'...What is he hiding, that she actually knows about?

Next up a little Baseball...Sunday the "All-Star" were announced...No real surprises...What does surprise me is all these people that think Strasburg should be in the game...6 starts doesn't earn your way in the "All-Star" game...Even if he actually would have won all six, and struck out ten in each of them...But his performance Saturday was proof that he doesn't belong there...He had to battle and struggle to get through 5 innings...Sorry folks...I think he's gonna be the real deal, but he isn't there yet!

The Arizona Diamondbacks fired there manager A.J. Hinch this past week...I believe they also cut loose their GM with his 5 year contract...That's the American business plan I love..."We'll pay you, just get the f**k out!' ...From what has been said, including from Hinch, it was clear to everyone that Hinch didn't have the full attention, and respect of his players...Here comes Kirk Gibson to save the day! Then these f**king ass-hats go out Saturday night and make 6 errors, and struck out 12 times while losing to the Dodgers 14-1...Maybe it wasn't Hinch...Maybe these f**k-tards just suck!

Now let's get to this week's tweets of the week...

michaelianblack
Friendly reminder: Germany, please don't let a World Cup victory confirm any lingering thoughts of a "master race."

sarkastickunt
A lot can happen in twenty minutes. And by A LOT I mean sex. And by twenty minutes I mean not even close.

ShittEyeHear
Go ahead and blink, there's nothing to miss.

Now in other news...

Author Judy Blume's grandson has been arrested by Martha's Vineyard Police for raping a 17 year old girl...I don't mean to sound like a dick, but I we really surprised...With all the smut she wrote...Christ, her books were the first thing I jerked off too...Then I found 8-Track porn!



Ahhhh, the good ole days! You know women were really treated like shit back then...My God, Shit like this was acceptable...




F**king James Cagney!





Next time I hear some old bitch talk about how much she loved James Cagney, I'm showing her that shit!...Then I'll smash a grapefruit in her face!

speaking of people being treated like shit...The little Beeze was being a dick to his older sister...She finally got pissed enough to actually take a shot at him...She has shown amazing restraint over the years...So she kicked him in the ribs...After he got his breath back, he stood up, pointed his index finger at her, and said, "I hate you forever bitch!" Which she replied, "MOM!" as she punched him in the arm, and put him on the ground...Sadly, Mom, had to walk out of the room because she was laughing...

He of course got the talking to that was needed in this circumstance...As did I because he most likely learned the word from me...I also gave him a talk about not being a douche to his sister...They buds again minutes later...And I'm sure he'll be a dick again, soon!

That's it for now...Oh wait...The big finish...




Later, The Beeze.