The Weekly Hat-Trick (10/18/15)

The Hat-Trick is late this week...I apologize, but after getting the big move done Friday, and then working on unpacking, and getting things settled, I was just too damn tired, and felt the best option was to crash on the couch with some football playing background music...But now, I'm slightly recharged...


-PINK

I'll start with the NFL...My favorite target...Every week, they pull some more stupid bullshit...Over the past however many years now, the NFL, and all other lower levels have followed, have ruined football teams color schemes by mixing in pink for breast cancer awareness...Pink gloves, pink shoes, pink wrist-bands, pink socks, pink towels, pink whatever, all over the place...I have firmly stood with Bill Burr's stance on this...We haven't forgotten about cancer, we're aware...But hey it's here, and while it seems to have toned down this season, it's not going anywhere...It makes the NFL a boat-load of money, then they donate 3% of the proceeds to charity, and the "Pink Lady" takes her cut of that before it is spread out...

But then, Steelers RB, DeAngelo Williams, and DE, Cameron Heyward said they were going to wear pink the rest of the season to pay tribute to family members they had lost...The NFL said no because it would violate the leagues "uniform policy"....This league is amazing...They will fine these guys each week after October for wearing pink...They fined a guy for pretending to take a nap using a football as a pillow, after a touchdown...But they let criminals like Greg Hardy continue to play in their precious league...It's okay for Jerry Jones (an owner) and Hardy to talk about another player's wife, (Tom Brady)  but no pink after October...

This league tried to cover up CTE and ruined the Doctor that found this happening to football players...That's all perfectly okay, but don't fuck with our uniform policy....The level of which I hate the NFL is unmatched...There is no level of pain and suffering that will be enough punishment for Goodell and his top aids...These fuckers all need to go...Or even better, choke on a cock and die!

Here's a taste of some of Bill Burr's thoughts that I share...






- Unwritten Rules

Throughout all of sports, we have always been told about "The Unwritten Rules"...I've often thought about this, and how it's a load of bullshit...I think a better way to describe these so-called "unwritten rules" is, 'You're a fucking pussy and just can't take it!'

All the media talking heads were buzzing after Jose Bautista crushed what would be the game-winning, 3-run, home run, against the Texas Rangers in game 5...Bautista watched his handy work, and then did a power bat-flip...



This is where dolts chime in and say you don't "show a pitcher up" like that...It's an "unwritten rule"....Fuck you! The pitcher should have made a better pitch...And the dick-bag pitcher, Sam Dyson started talking shit after this, which caused the benches to clear...Fucking entitled pitchers are cunts...If asshole Dyson would have struck Bautista out, I bet he would have pumped his fist, or put his yell face on...Pitchers do that shit all the time...Aren't they showing up the hitter...The next time up, the hitter doesn't just swing and throw his bat at the mound...So why is it an "unwritten rule" that a pitcher "getting shown up" warrants a bean-ball?

It's the pitcher's job to get the batter out...It's the batter's job to get hits...Why are pitchers allowed to celebrate and batters aren't...Fuck your "unwritten rules!"

It was a tense game...Both teams were playing for their lives...The umps seemed unable to make a call on anything in a timely fashion...and the rowdy Toronto fans turned into total (Philly-like) assholes, constantly throwing shit on the field...but even worse on fellow fans below...

Bautista's flip was bolder then a normal bat-flip...But it fit the tone of what was going on...I loved it...Pitchers pumping their fist, and hitters flipping bats, baseball players showing passion and emotion is good for baseball...Please MLB, talking-heads, and fans, don't fuck up baseball the way football has been getting fucked up.


- No More Nudes in Playboy

"This whole world has gone crazy, God's gotten a little lazy"....


News that Playboy will not be publishing nude spreads broke this past week...As someone who likes porn, with was shocking news...I had myself quite a stash of Playboy mags, before the Internet found it's way into my life...

Now, I will never be the guy who said I got Playboy for the articles...Yes, after breaking off a load or two, I would thumb through and stumble across some quality reads...Playboy always got the big interviews, and got questions answered then many other didn't...And they had great fiction and non-fiction stories as well...Ray Bradbury often wrote short stories for Playboy...It really was great magazine, after you off-loaded...

And, while the no nudes news is sad...Sometimes barely dressed women can be pretty damn sexy and tantalizing....Like one of my favorite Playmates, and 1998 Playmate of the Year, Karen McDougal...

No nudes in Playboy....I don't know about this...


Until next time....

Monday Moaning

Well Happy 4th of July gang...The wonderful celebration of Nation's birth...I feel I'm a patriotic person, so don't take this the wrong way...The 4th of July is one of those holidays I don't look forward to...Why? Because drunk ass rednecks shouldn't be playing with fireworks...And they sure as shit shouldn't be playing with them at 3:00 AM...But there's always one asshole in the Neighborhood who just can't stop blowing shit off...

Hey, I'm all for firing up the grill...


Putting on the ball game, and drinking some beers...Later on the kids and I go to the corner, and we watch some guy a street over blow off fireworks that probably cost him six months of his salary...Funny how the poor guy buys the professional grade shit...Sadly he thinks he's helping the economy, but the good stuff is made in China...

F**k I'm not sounding very Patriotic...



That's better...Anyways, I hope everyone had a good 4th, and didn't blow their dicks off...And I hope my friends up north had a great Canada Day...

Now let's get to0 some sports...First I want to ask..."What does Elin know, that Tiger doesn't want anyone else to know? Seriously, He's giving her $750 million in the divorce settlement, and 4 of their house, and all she had to agree on is, to shut the f**k up...'No books, no interviews, don't ever speak of me, or the 21 bitches I banged behind your back...Or I'm taking my money back'...What is he hiding, that she actually knows about?

Next up a little Baseball...Sunday the "All-Star" were announced...No real surprises...What does surprise me is all these people that think Strasburg should be in the game...6 starts doesn't earn your way in the "All-Star" game...Even if he actually would have won all six, and struck out ten in each of them...But his performance Saturday was proof that he doesn't belong there...He had to battle and struggle to get through 5 innings...Sorry folks...I think he's gonna be the real deal, but he isn't there yet!

The Arizona Diamondbacks fired there manager A.J. Hinch this past week...I believe they also cut loose their GM with his 5 year contract...That's the American business plan I love..."We'll pay you, just get the f**k out!' ...From what has been said, including from Hinch, it was clear to everyone that Hinch didn't have the full attention, and respect of his players...Here comes Kirk Gibson to save the day! Then these f**king ass-hats go out Saturday night and make 6 errors, and struck out 12 times while losing to the Dodgers 14-1...Maybe it wasn't Hinch...Maybe these f**k-tards just suck!

Now let's get to this week's tweets of the week...

michaelianblack
Friendly reminder: Germany, please don't let a World Cup victory confirm any lingering thoughts of a "master race."

sarkastickunt
A lot can happen in twenty minutes. And by A LOT I mean sex. And by twenty minutes I mean not even close.

ShittEyeHear
Go ahead and blink, there's nothing to miss.

Now in other news...

Author Judy Blume's grandson has been arrested by Martha's Vineyard Police for raping a 17 year old girl...I don't mean to sound like a dick, but I we really surprised...With all the smut she wrote...Christ, her books were the first thing I jerked off too...Then I found 8-Track porn!



Ahhhh, the good ole days! You know women were really treated like shit back then...My God, Shit like this was acceptable...




F**king James Cagney!





Next time I hear some old bitch talk about how much she loved James Cagney, I'm showing her that shit!...Then I'll smash a grapefruit in her face!

speaking of people being treated like shit...The little Beeze was being a dick to his older sister...She finally got pissed enough to actually take a shot at him...She has shown amazing restraint over the years...So she kicked him in the ribs...After he got his breath back, he stood up, pointed his index finger at her, and said, "I hate you forever bitch!" Which she replied, "MOM!" as she punched him in the arm, and put him on the ground...Sadly, Mom, had to walk out of the room because she was laughing...

He of course got the talking to that was needed in this circumstance...As did I because he most likely learned the word from me...I also gave him a talk about not being a douche to his sister...They buds again minutes later...And I'm sure he'll be a dick again, soon!

That's it for now...Oh wait...The big finish...




Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

There are certain things that fathers pass down, from generation, to generation...One of those things that my old man passed down to us was, Duct Tape can fix almost anything!

And well, after this past week, I've realized that there are a lot of people out there, whom it would serve well, if they spent some time Duct Taped to a chair!

You see, I've had bit of a battle this past week with some people at Sporting News...That's where I first started blogging...I still post there once a week...This past Wednesday I wrote a blog blasting LeBron James, the Cleveland Indians, and the City of Cleveland...My displeasure with the city I live in is well documented...I re-posted it at SN...This post rubbed people the wrong way...One person who lives in Washington state, but calls herself a Clevelander was very unhappy about it...She responded and called me an "Underachieving Jerk"...Not really that harsh, but I reacted, as I often do, by over-reacting, and going for the throat...

This lead to many people blasting me, and ignoring the point of my blog, and that she provoked me...So I posted another blog, trying to get people to understand where my opinion was coming from, and backing it up with facts...It didn't matter...They kept coming after me, and some taking shots at You Gab Sports, even though I was the only Gab member involved in this...

So this lady posted a blog about the incident, and apologized, while still getting in some jabs...More people commented and blasted me...I responded, and apologized for what I called her, but nothing else...We both seemed to be done with it...But since then 3 blogs have been posted by 2 people, about it...And well, about how I'm the asshole...

I had planned on walking in here with my gasoline shoes on,and dropping matches all over the place...I was ready to light everyone up, and continue burning bridges...
But then, this afternoon I realized, it's not worth it...1. that's what they want...They want me to go off, so they can keep poking at me, and say what asshole I am...2. There's no winning...I'll never change their minds, and they sure as hell aren't gonna change mine...So f*ck it!

You know what, I will win...Because they're still gonna come and read my blogs...They can't wait for the next one

Say hi to Lindsay Marie...

(yes it's random, but some people will get it)

Moving on...I had another losing day at the track as Lookin at Lucky won, and my horse Jackson Bend came in third...I also had money on Dublin, who shit the bed right out of the gate...Sorry Little Beeze, you may have to get a job soon! Especially after signing the kids up for swimming lessons today...Last year our local rec center, funded by our tax dollars, charged $23 dollars a kid, for lessons...This year $40...this really pisses me off because they cut the rec center hours 6 months ago to save on the costs...This is what happens when your Mayor is drunk and sexually harassing people all the time!

Then we signed the little Beeze up for T-Ball...that was $35...Then the lady started pushing me to coach...Apparently they haven't had many volunteers...So I agreed...I don't know how good our team will be, but we'll have the best swearing bunch of 5 and 6 year olds around!

But at least I won't be teaching them to shake their asses like a bunch of cum dumpster strippers...In case you haven't seen this shit, I'll let you check it out, then I'll break it down like John Madden, without blowing Brett Favre...



I'll start by saying this...For 7 year olds, they dance well, and you can even see a bit of gymnastics in play here...But they're dressed like strippers! They're 7 years old, and dressed like strippers! I know how strippers dress! Then there is the song selection...Beyonce's "Single Ladies"...The basic idea of the song, at least what I get out of it before I turn it off, is it's suppose to be an empowering song for women...But every time you see women or girls dancing to it...They're dancing like strippers...Dirty cum bucket strippers...And this f**king crowd is loving it...'Look honey, Our little girl is gonna be rockin' the pole one day!' And I'm the asshole!?!

In hockey news, Friday night the Boston Bruins finished off an epic fail...After taking a 3-0 series lead over the Flyers...the boys from Philly came back to win 4 in a row...As much as it hurts, I have to give the Flyers some credit...They continued their winning ways, blowing out Montreal 6-0 in the first round of the conference finals...

In the West, Chicago took a 1-0 series lead after beating San Jose 2-1...This series is packed full of talent...San Jose has collapsed repeatedly in the playoffs, but seem to have it together this year...Chicago is young, and I don't have a lot of faith in their goatending...I see this one going seven games, and being a real knock-down, drag-out fight...

On the home front, we're still looking at names...I think we've settled on a girls name...Molly Kathleen...For a boy, Finn is the front runner, but we needs solid middle name for that...Yeah, I'm Irish if you couldn't tell!

This pregnancy has been a tougher on the wife...the first two she never got sick...This time she's puking a bit, and feeling run down...Although the 20 hours of OT she worked last week doesn't help that...All of this isn't helping me need for sex either...I'm spending even more time at xHamster ****(before you click that, it's a porn site)****

This next video I had to share...Countdown with Keith Olbermann pulled this from The Daily Show...Olbermann seems to have lost his marbles, but this may have been the most sanity his show has aired in awhile...It's Lewis Black, losing his shit over how f**king insane and obsessed with Nazis Glenn Beck is...Olbermann and Beck should get together and choke each other out!

Christ, one day Black is gonna have a heart attack on stage!

Now, on a sad note, Sunday singer Ronnie James Dio died after battling Cancer...He was 67 years old, and had one of the most incredible Rock & Roll voices ever...Rest in Peace.

Later, The Beeze.

Is This B!tch For Real?

On the left of this picture is porn star, Veronica Swik-Daniels...On the right is her lawyer Gloria Allred, who is ready to sue...This gash...This hatchet wound...This slut...Is pissed off that Tiger Woods did not apologize to her...She feels that after having a 3 year affair with him, she is due some respect, and a personal apology...

Apology for what? Using you as one of his many personal cum-catchers...You knew who he was...You knew he was married...You knew he was a man whore...You knew he wasn't gonna drop everything for you...Listen and watch this nonsense...

So the super twat lawyer says she quit her career as a porn actress...Well during her 3 years as one of Tiger's load catchers, she made 16 porn films...Doesn't sound like she quit to me...

She wants an apology...Are you for f**king real? Seriously whore...You should apologize be the one apologizing...'For what?' you say...For being a complete and totally f**king idiot...Oh and maybe you should apologize to his wife...But you really need to apologize for being such a f**king dolt...

Veronica Swik-Daniels, is more proof of just how f**ked up the world we live in is...You want to be a porn star...Great! God bless ya! I may have even scrapped one out to one of your films...You want to go and bang married guys behind their wives backs...Fine...Dude is an a$$hole, and so are you...But if you want an apology because he banged you, and you were a willing participant...Well, you can go f**k yourself...

Why don't you make the world a better place...Do a porn/snuff film, with the big climax being you taking load after load, down your throat until you choke to death...

"You get nothing!"

Later, The Beeze.