Thursday, June 25, 2009

The 2009 Skull F**k Hall of Fame Inductees

It has taken a little longer to get to then expected...But it's finally here...The class will consist of 4 very deserving douche bags...

The criteria are simple...If you piss me off to the point of total hatred...Where I finally feel the need to pull out my junk and give you a Skull F**k...You have a chance at the Hall of Fame...

But let's be honest...Hall of Famers must go above and beyond...Well this year's class has not disappointed...And what will they be getting?

This...

So on to the first inductee...
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A-Rod...This dolt made it in easy...Rolling with Madonna...long after she had been used up and full of jizz from every tom Dick and Harry...Then there is the Frosted tips...That automatically makes you a douche...The stupid ass, big, white, hamburger helper batting gloves...There's the Yankee factor...And the fact that he has been said to be such a great, and talented baseball player...But every team he has played for can't win with him...Oh yeah...He also used steroids...
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Welcome to the Hall Alex...Say hello to my c**k!
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Next is Gary Bettman...No matter how hard the NHL commissioner tries to improve the game, he seems to shit the bed...Every year there seems to be a new rule put in place...Just to have it enforced inconsistently...Bettman has struggle to get a strong television deal done...No people VS doesn't count...He would rather let a dying franchise (Phoenix Coyotes) be a drain on the league, then admit his big move to bring hockey to the sunbelt and southern U.S. failed...Which is sad...The teams in California have done well...Dallas has been a strong franchise...But two teams in Florida are silly...Atlanta and Nashville are question marks...And Phoenix is dead...Even "the Great One" couldn't save them...

While fighting for a salary cap was a good thing...The fight nearly killed the game...Well it did for the casual fan...The worst thing about Bettman is that he thinks he is doing good, and believes he's good at his job...Hey Gary...When Joe Louis Arena starts booing as you hit the ice to present The Conn Smythe, and the Stanley Cup...That should be a clue!

Now get up here and receive your load!


Now this next fella shouldn't be a surprise...Brett Favre...
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You a$$hole! With every day my disdain for this f**ker grows...
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I retire...I want to come back...I retire...I want to come back...I retire...What you mean I can't come back...Trade me...Release me...New Team...More interceptions...I retire...Release me...I want to retire a Packer...I want to be a Viking...I'm not sure...I had surgery...I want to play again...Please can everyone kiss my ass for another year...My wife doesn't like to play anal tongue darts....Bring back John Madden so I can get some more nut swing...I'm #4....I'm a douche...I'm Brett Favre bitches!

This is right where you belong Brett...With me going balls deep in your eye socket!
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(Can I come play with you guys? I'm Brett Favre...I do what I want!)

Now to our last inductee...This isn't just one person...It's a group...The Suburbanite Wife who goes walking at the high school track with the girls to get some exercise...While Drinking her Grande, Mocha, Frappucino, Latte, bullshit from Starbucks and smoking a cigarette....
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That's the way to get healthy...Go power walking while you pour some Starbucks down you throat and suck on a cancer stick...I got something for you to suck on...And if you do it well it'll pour some protein down your throat...Then after that you can go for a jog...But don't forget my sandwich...(that's a joke ladies)


Welcome to the club you bunch of hatchet wounds!
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Congrats to all the inductees...

Later, The Beeze.

11 comments:

CK0712™ said...

i am ROLLIN here with laughter...i can't think of anyone else more deserving of this grand award, then whom you've picked!!

specially farve....jesus christ on crutches!

that last one killed me, the chicks with the whateverthefucktheydrink & a ciggy, wonder if it was a vagina slim....does anyone remember that brand? (virginia slim) or am i just that old LMAO!

this was fricken perfect, on point & WITH a point....love love love the award picture too!!

-A said...

years ago, when I used to sling coffee, I had this westlake woman order a "low fat" mocha, 'you know, with skim...' and when I didn't put whipped cream on it she yelled at me.
I think I quit the next day.

The BEEZE said...

Glad you enjoyed it ladies!

I would eat a gun if I had to work in a westlake coffee shop!

The BEEZE said...

On a side note...Why are so many people sad about the Thriller being dead...Do we not remember...He was a f**king kid toucher!

CK0712™ said...

not so much sad beeze: don't get me wrong doll i really really dug the jackson five, that motown sound, i love alot of that music. a shock i think it was more of then anything.....

i don't however like that it's over shadowing farrah's passing away.....she was one tough chick to fight that cancer for so long and through all that she NEVER lost her dignity. ppl. might think she was some ditzy blonde, but on the contrary she wasn't!!!

CK0712™ said...

LOL A, that's like ordering a whopper with cheese & a large fry at burger barf.....and asking for a diet coke......some ppl. ya just gotta laugh at!!

afrankangle said...

One of the few induction ceremonies that made me laugh! well done.

The Starbuck's ladies was a great surprise.

One question ... Bettman over Selig? ... or is Bud already in?

aking said...

Ok so I thought your uncle should have made the cut. The Starbucks ladies was priceless. MJ was good in the day but after he starting being a pee pee toucher I was done with him. CK my grandma used to smoke Virgina slims because she thought there was more cigarette in there. All in all a good post.

The BEEZE said...

Uncle Chuck was close to making it!

The BEEZE said...

Frank, Bud and Gary are a close battle...I'm a hockey guy first so Gary got in first...There's plenty of room for Bud!

CK0712™ said...

A afrank- i thought they were old people ciggy's!!