The 2009 Skull F**k Hall of Fame Inductees

It has taken a little longer to get to then expected...But it's finally here...The class will consist of 4 very deserving douche bags...

The criteria are simple...If you piss me off to the point of total hatred...Where I finally feel the need to pull out my junk and give you a Skull F**k...You have a chance at the Hall of Fame...

But let's be honest...Hall of Famers must go above and beyond...Well this year's class has not disappointed...And what will they be getting?

This...

So on to the first inductee...

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A-Rod...This dolt made it in easy...Rolling with Madonna...long after she had been used up and full of jizz from every tom Dick and Harry...Then there is the Frosted tips...That automatically makes you a douche...The stupid ass, big, white, hamburger helper batting gloves...There's the Yankee factor...And the fact that he has been said to be such a great, and talented baseball player...But every team he has played for can't win with him...Oh yeah...He also used steroids...

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Welcome to the Hall Alex...Say hello to my c**k!

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Next is Gary Bettman...No matter how hard the NHL commissioner tries to improve the game, he seems to shit the bed...Every year there seems to be a new rule put in place...Just to have it enforced inconsistently...Bettman has struggle to get a strong television deal done...No people VS doesn't count...He would rather let a dying franchise (Phoenix Coyotes) be a drain on the league, then admit his big move to bring hockey to the sunbelt and southern U.S. failed...Which is sad...The teams in California have done well...Dallas has been a strong franchise...But two teams in Florida are silly...Atlanta and Nashville are question marks...And Phoenix is dead...Even "the Great One" couldn't save them...

While fighting for a salary cap was a good thing...The fight nearly killed the game...Well it did for the casual fan...The worst thing about Bettman is that he thinks he is doing good, and believes he's good at his job...Hey Gary...When Joe Louis Arena starts booing as you hit the ice to present The Conn Smythe, and the Stanley Cup...That should be a clue!

Now get up here and receive your load!

Now this next fella shouldn't be a surprise...Brett Favre...

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You a$$hole! With every day my disdain for this f**ker grows...

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I retire...I want to come back...I retire...I want to come back...I retire...What you mean I can't come back...Trade me...Release me...New Team...More interceptions...I retire...Release me...I want to retire a Packer...I want to be a Viking...I'm not sure...I had surgery...I want to play again...Please can everyone kiss my ass for another year...My wife doesn't like to play anal tongue darts....Bring back John Madden so I can get some more nut swing...I'm #4....I'm a douche...I'm Brett Favre bitches!

This is right where you belong Brett...With me going balls deep in your eye socket!

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(Can I come play with you guys? I'm Brett Favre...I do what I want!)

Now to our last inductee...This isn't just one person...It's a group...The Suburbanite Wife who goes walking at the high school track with the girls to get some exercise...While Drinking her Grande, Mocha, Frappucino, Latte, bullshit from Starbucks and smoking a cigarette....

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That's the way to get healthy...Go power walking while you pour some Starbucks down you throat and suck on a cancer stick...I got something for you to suck on...And if you do it well it'll pour some protein down your throat...Then after that you can go for a jog...But don't forget my sandwich...(that's a joke ladies)

Welcome to the club you bunch of hatchet wounds!

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Congrats to all the inductees...

Later, The Beeze.

Passing Out Some More Skull F**ks!

This is becoming a habit...But what the hell...I get some of the rage out...So let's get started pumping some heads full of j!zz....

First let's start with this guy....

Now A-Rod could make this list all the time....1. He's a Yankee...2. He's a douche....3. He's bumped uglies with Modonna (allegedly...but we all know it's true)...and 4. If anything Senena Roberts wrote about this guy is true...He should have a c0ck permanently stuck in his head....So A-Hole, you get this week's first load of warm sticky nut!

Next on the list....Brett Favre....

Why must you keep doing this...Every year we get stuck with the Brett watch...I retire...I want to play again...I retire...I want to play again...Give it up already...You aren't that good anymore....My 4 year old son would throw less interceptions then you....Plus if you come back...Then Madden will want to come back...then we gotta hear that guy all year long swinging from your nuts...Knock it off! And while you're knocking it off...Here's a nice hard c0ck in your I you son of a b!tch....

Now...I'm gonna get personal...This next person isn't getting a skull f**k...Just wait...I'll explain....Two weeks ago a boy in my daughter's class, (1st grade) told a little girl he was going to stab her mom, and shoot her dad...Last week he told my daughter he wanted to have sex with her....1st f**king grade....I'mnot gonna attack the kid here...I'm going after his hillbilly white trash f**k stain mother...When I talked to the teacher and principle they explained he's "slow", and does goofy stuff for attention...and his mom is a single mother, and it's hardLet me pick this apart as I did for them....

What he said isn't goofy...It's f**king nuts...Believe I know...I've got a PhD in nuts....I don't care that she's a single mom...Sorry...I'm sure it is hard as hell...But...We all make decisions in our life...We have to own them...Not use them as an excuse...I know many single moms...Their kids aren't f**king crazy like this kid...I also made it clear that if anything like this happened again...the next person they would talk to is my lawyer...And he'll be taking their jobs...

So no skull f**k here....Instead I'd like to pick the kid up, and beat the mother over the head with him...Maybe it would knock some sense into both of them...

Now I'm moving on to another douche bag....

This is police chief Charlie McNeeley...He's a former Cleveland Police Commander...And now Chief in the burbs....He was caught last week masturbating in a car...In a park...While dropping and gobbling another man...I've got no problem if people want to get their freak on....Do what you wish...But when you get busted at 8:30 in the morning doing this...Don't lie about who you are...Own what you did...Then when you decide to come up with an excuse for it...Don't say what he said...His excuse...I did it because of the stress of finding out my wife had cancer....If my wife has cancer...My first thought isn't to go blow some dude in the park....I'd say let's give him a skull f**k...But he would love that....Instead how about a big F*ck You!

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You may be wondering why I went after this douche...Well his wife with cancer...Is my aunt...F**king a$$hole!

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I'm done for the night...

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Later, the Beeze.