The 2009 Skull F**k Hall of Fame Inductees

It has taken a little longer to get to then expected...But it's finally here...The class will consist of 4 very deserving douche bags...

The criteria are simple...If you piss me off to the point of total hatred...Where I finally feel the need to pull out my junk and give you a Skull F**k...You have a chance at the Hall of Fame...

But let's be honest...Hall of Famers must go above and beyond...Well this year's class has not disappointed...And what will they be getting?

This...

So on to the first inductee...

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A-Rod...This dolt made it in easy...Rolling with Madonna...long after she had been used up and full of jizz from every tom Dick and Harry...Then there is the Frosted tips...That automatically makes you a douche...The stupid ass, big, white, hamburger helper batting gloves...There's the Yankee factor...And the fact that he has been said to be such a great, and talented baseball player...But every team he has played for can't win with him...Oh yeah...He also used steroids...

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Welcome to the Hall Alex...Say hello to my c**k!

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Next is Gary Bettman...No matter how hard the NHL commissioner tries to improve the game, he seems to shit the bed...Every year there seems to be a new rule put in place...Just to have it enforced inconsistently...Bettman has struggle to get a strong television deal done...No people VS doesn't count...He would rather let a dying franchise (Phoenix Coyotes) be a drain on the league, then admit his big move to bring hockey to the sunbelt and southern U.S. failed...Which is sad...The teams in California have done well...Dallas has been a strong franchise...But two teams in Florida are silly...Atlanta and Nashville are question marks...And Phoenix is dead...Even "the Great One" couldn't save them...

While fighting for a salary cap was a good thing...The fight nearly killed the game...Well it did for the casual fan...The worst thing about Bettman is that he thinks he is doing good, and believes he's good at his job...Hey Gary...When Joe Louis Arena starts booing as you hit the ice to present The Conn Smythe, and the Stanley Cup...That should be a clue!

Now get up here and receive your load!

Now this next fella shouldn't be a surprise...Brett Favre...

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You a$$hole! With every day my disdain for this f**ker grows...

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I retire...I want to come back...I retire...I want to come back...I retire...What you mean I can't come back...Trade me...Release me...New Team...More interceptions...I retire...Release me...I want to retire a Packer...I want to be a Viking...I'm not sure...I had surgery...I want to play again...Please can everyone kiss my ass for another year...My wife doesn't like to play anal tongue darts....Bring back John Madden so I can get some more nut swing...I'm #4....I'm a douche...I'm Brett Favre bitches!

This is right where you belong Brett...With me going balls deep in your eye socket!

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(Can I come play with you guys? I'm Brett Favre...I do what I want!)

Now to our last inductee...This isn't just one person...It's a group...The Suburbanite Wife who goes walking at the high school track with the girls to get some exercise...While Drinking her Grande, Mocha, Frappucino, Latte, bullshit from Starbucks and smoking a cigarette....

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That's the way to get healthy...Go power walking while you pour some Starbucks down you throat and suck on a cancer stick...I got something for you to suck on...And if you do it well it'll pour some protein down your throat...Then after that you can go for a jog...But don't forget my sandwich...(that's a joke ladies)

Welcome to the club you bunch of hatchet wounds!

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Congrats to all the inductees...

Later, The Beeze.

Sean Avery vs Gary Bettman....Who's the Douche?

I'd like to talk about the Sean Avery controversy....If you don't know he referred to his ex-girlfriends as his sloppy seconds, as an attempt to be funny, and to taunt a player (Dion Phaneuf) on an opposing team, who is dating Elisha Cuthbert...One of Avery's ex-c**dumpsters. That was mean...I apologize...But she has made a few other trips around the NHL, so is it really that mean?

So the NHL has suspended Avery for 6 games....6 games for talking sh!t....I played hockey at a Catholic high school (3 state titles), and our coach said worse stuff to us at practice....I've said worse on the ice in my beer league....and worse things are said on a nightly basis in the NHL.

Let me get this straight...You can punch dudes in the face, but you can't talk sh!t

about them....WTF!!!

The biggest reason for the suspension is Gary Bettman and other league officials don't like that Avery has called them out in the past...Most recently in an interview on E:60. This comment was nothing new for Avery who has made his living by being a pest....There have always been pests in hockey and there always will be.

Avery has been a wanted man by Bettman ever since last years playoffs, when he stood in front of Martin Brodeur and kept waving his hand and stick in his face in an attempt to distract him....It worked....he scored shortly thereafter.

The next day the league was putting together a new rule..."the Avery rule"...prohibiting a player from doing such things. The NHL has decided to change the rules whenever they see fit...or at least whenever Sean Avery pisses them off....WTF!!! I have always thought Avery was a douche, even when he was playing for my beloved RANGERS, although I was glad he was on my team instead of the others. I still think he's a FIRST CLASS DOUCHE...but so is Gary Bettman.

That's it for now,

Later, The BEEZE.