Now Will You Listen to Me?

For  the last few years I have been a very vocal critic of the Cleveland Browns...Especially when that fat walrus Mike Holmgren was here...Besides that I have also been a very vocal critic of the Cleveland sports fan, especially Browns fans...In April I signed my fandom over to the Seattle Seahawks in a two year deal...Hey, players leave, coaches leave...As we saw here in the Cleve, teams leave too...So why the hell should we all be so damn loyal....

Guess who is smiling today...Yep, this fucking guy!  When news broke yesterday evening that the Browns traded Trent Richardson to the Colts, I was slightly shocked...Then I laughed...This is the guy that was a no doubt about it top 4 pick...The Browns moved up to take him 3rd overall...Two years ago...Dude was going into his second year, and some how he doesn't fit into these ass-hats future plans...He now joins second year, young stud QB Andrew Luck in the Colts backfield...Clearly the Colts know how to rebuild on the fly!

The Browns front office and coaching staff can say what they want, but it's bullshit...They have given up on this season after two weeks...QB Brandon Weeden is hurt...He can't go this week...SO what do they do...They aren't starting #2 QB Jason Campbell...They're going to start the local guy, 3rd stringer, Brian Hoyer...Not sure how that makes sense, other than saying, we are tanking this fucking season...No offense Hoyer!

I have repeatedly scream at Browns fans for wasting their money on this franchise...You wouldn't keep going to the same restaurant if the food was awful...You wouldn't keep going to the same mechanic if your car kept coming out more fucked up...You just don't keep dumping your money into a bad product...It's common sense...And most people agree, except when it comes to their shitty sports teams...It's time to listen to me Cleveland...Don't put anymore money in this criminal fuck, owners pocket...

Many media members, local and national, keep telling Cleveland fans to "Have faith," and that "This trade will be good for both teams down the road."  NO...No it won't...It just fucking won't...This isn't a bitching Clevelander feeling bad about our station in life...This is me...And this is a fact, this trade won't be good for the Browns...It is fact, backed up by years of proof....Since 1999 this franchise has been run by idiot owners, stupid GM's, and bad coaches....They all come in with a new plan...Start over, making it their own, and fired before any positive results appear...Why would this group of dolts with no proven, positive track record be any different?  It won't be! 

So the Browns go in the shitter...Draft one of the elite QB's that will come out next year...Then what? His career will be done in 4-5 years, because the building blocks of Alex Mack and Joe Thomas will be on the decline of their careers before these dolts sure up the rest of the offensive line...So star QB will have 3 season ending injuries by week 8 in each of his first 3 seasons...He'll be busted up, and gun-shy...The team will give up on him, trade their best talent for draft picks and rebuild again....It's a horrible cycle of suck....

If the NFL cared at all about the fans of Cleveland, they would just disband the Browns...End it...ESPN Classic can still show "The Drive" and "The Fumble"...Fucking glory days!  NFL Network can break out the old NFL films stuff, showing people how the pre-Super Bowl era Browns were one the greatest teams in the history of sports...But this shit that Cleveland has tolerated since 1999 needs to just go away...Go the fuck away!

Cleveland, I'm not lying to you...I was born and raised here...lived here my whole life....Your life will be better if you do what I did, and turn your back on the Cleveland Browns...Make them earn your money, respect, and love...Just don't give it away like a slut...Oh, and by the way, the Indians will finish this season with a winning record, and are in a tight battle for a playoff spot, and you're missing it, because all you care about is a shitty football team that has done nothing but take a big steaming dump on your chest!

Fuck the Browns!

The Beeze.

A Little Spanking Taking You Into the Weekend

Since Monday's post lacked it's normal vibe, and didn't get into things I planned on getting into, I figure, why not end the week with what I normally start it with...But if you missed Monday Moaning, check it out...The mainstream media ignoring decades of sexual child abuse in the U.S. Swimming program, has to stop...And I will continue to beat on this story until all these evil bastards are in jail, or killed for their crimes...

That said, let's talk about the sale of the Cleveland Browns...Jimmy Haslam, a minority owner of the Steelers dropped a billion dollars to buy the Browns from Randy Lerner...To which I say, Thank God!

I was talking about this with my one brother at a family event...He's the genius brother, who does nothing with his brains and 3 degrees...He's also mentally unstable, especially when talking sports...(And you people thought I was nuts)...So I say how I'm thrilled the Browns have a new owner, and that Lerner is finally gone...He flies off the handle, saying how he's so sick of Cleveland fans blaming owners...I brought up Lerner taking $80 million of Browns revenue, and dumping it into his stupid English Soccer team...He went off saying, "It's his money, he can do whatever the fuck he wants with it!"...And I replied, that doesn't mean Browns fans have to be happy about it...Just last year, Lerner was asking for tax-payers to pay for repairs on the stadium...Umm, fuck you, we built it...If you want upgrades and repairs, you do it!

Lerner made it clear he wanted nothing to do with Football...That's why he gave fatty Holmgren a $10 million a year contract, to run the entire thing...Lerner didn't even go to the Owner's meetings...Fatty did...My brother brought up Lerner having to still be paying four different head coaches and thing like that probably lead him to releasing control...Hey, fuck him...He hired them, and fired them...That's not our fault...Lerner was horrible, for the NFL, The Browns, and Cleveland...Christ he spent 95% of his time in New York or England...My Brother also bitched about how he was "probably sick of getting bashed in the media"...Hey, that's what happens when you own a sports team...And that's what happens when you religiously shit on the media...

Lerner out of the picture is great...And Haslam saying he's going to do things right, and how he learned them from the Steelers, is awesome...Browns fans may not like that, but the Steelers have a pretty damn good track record...

Then this week coach Pat Shurmur named Brandon Wheeden the starting QB...Well, I would hope so...They spent a 1st round pick on him, and he's 28, his career is half over already...Get him out there...It's been reported that the news made Colt McCoy very sad...I'm sure his father will get in front of a camera and bitch about this...But shit, look at Colt...I think he's still dizzy from the hit he took from James Harrison last season...And McCoy family, while you're down about this, just remember that little Colt didn't make a pass longer then 15 yards last year...Kid has a fucking rag arm!

But that's not all...The Browns #1 pick this year, Trent Richardson spent Thursday having an arthroscopic knee surgery...It's being called "Routine" and they are hoping he'll be ready for the opener...It already feels like it's going to be a long year...

Oh, and then there is the report that star corner back, Joe Haden failed a routine drug test during the off-season, testing positive for Adderall, which is often used by people suffering from attention deficit disorder, and narcolepsy...Adderall is on the NFL's banned substance list...But there are reports that it was prescribed by a doctor, and they may help get Haden out of a possible suspension...

Now, to the other sports team, who's owner my brother supports...the Cleveland Indians...After the All-star break, the Tribe started to slide...And as the trade deadline approached, and passed, the Indians did nothing...Actually they traded a minor league knuckle-baller to the Red Sox for a minor league OF...A left-handed OF...Even though this team has desperately needed a right-handed bat for 3 years...So instead of doing something that could maybe give the team a boost, the front office threw in the towel, and it has shown on the field...The Tribe has looked like a steaming pile of shit...

And yes, most fans blame ownership for not putting money into the team...I blame Mark Shapiro first, because this ass-hat has just made some horrible fucking trades, and desperately thinks he can do some kind of Billy Beane magic trick...Guess what Mark, you can't! But I also blame Mr. Dolan...This guy always says he's going to kick in the money, when the team is ready...Well this team had shown some guts through the first half, and he didn't do shit!

My knucklehead brother, again feels the fans have no right to bash this dick...Fuck my brother, and fuck Dolan...My brother actually said, "If I had to put up with this shit, I'd move the team."....So I said, "Okay, find a city that is going to build a stadium for you, because Dolan sure as hell won't spend a dime, and he won't want an old stadium...Oh, and a city that is actually big enough, with a strong enough economy, to support another major sports franchise...Doesn't sound that easy, does it?" All he came back with was, "Well, I'd really have to look into it." Genius my fucking ass!

My brother is one of those twats that bitches about fans not filling the seats, so why should Dolan spend money, yet the last time he actually put his ass in one of those empty seats was when I got tickets for myself, and my brothers to take our dad to a game on his birthday, 3 years ago...Yeah, my brother reminds me of a certain gash!

I need a laugh after this ranting...And hell, why not use a laugh, that can also be used as a warning for some of the language I use...




Have a great weekend!

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

So the NFL Draft kicked off Thursday night...As a Browns fan, I'm not thrilled...I'm not totally pissed, but not thrilled...Getting Trent Richardson was good, but trading 3 picks to move up one spot to get him was retarded...The Vikings boned the Browns with that...They weren't taking Richardson, and Other teams weren't throwing that much to move up a couple spots, let alone one...Then with the 22nd pick the Browns took their next starting QB...Their 17th since they returned in 1999...


Brandon Weeden...I think he'll be better then Colt McCoy, but based on what we've seen that isn't saying a lot...I mean McCoy, as you can see from that list above, was one of a long standing tradition of Browns QB's who were running for their lives, and had little talent around them...Weeden may have a better chance, but 22 was too high for a guy who is almost 30 years old...They could have got him at 37, and gotten the WR they need so badly at 22...

Oh, they got a WR...In the 4th round, they picked up a 5 foot 9 inch receiver, that everyone had a boner for...Are you shitting me...We don't need a midget slot receiver, we need a mother fucker who can go down field, and out jump DB's for balls...Oh, and actually catch balls!

At 37 they took California tackle Phillip Schwartz, who will play the right side...Good pick, they needed to fix that side of the line...Then they traded down from 67 to 87, picking up pick 120...At 87 they picked up the #2 DT from Cincinnati...WTF for! This is a guy they could have gotten in the 6th or 7th round...Fucking stupid...The later rounds was nothing sexy, or thrilling...A couple LB's and depth guys for the OL and DL...I'm not thrilled, but I guess these clowns could have done worse...

I wouldn't get into all the details, but looking at the recaps, I like what the Steelers did...Some smart picks, that will make their mini-rebuild easy...I'm not jumping ship, even though they have good looking fans...


Shit, look at this ugly bastard, having fun, just because his asshole team wins...



Oh, and for my blogging brothers, I finally found that pick of JDIN827 chomping on a bone...


Of all the idiotic picks that took place in the draft, there was none more retarded then the Saturday, when the Redskins after taking RG3 # 2overall, then took Michigan State QB Kurt Cousins...What a waste...These dopes traded away so many picks just to get up to #2, they can't afford to be burning another on a QB...But fuck'em...That's why they're the Redskins, and that's why they keep losing their division!

But enough of this draft bullshit!

-The last couple weeks, I had been getting myself ready for my transfer from The Fish House, to one of my company's Steak Houses...Well ain't this a bitch...They put me on the station that cooks all the fucking fish! 8 burners and a flat-top, cooking pastas, fish, chicken, and veal...And this fucking joint sells a bunch of fish at lunch...But I'm settling well, and the crew I'm working with is pretty cool, and has welcomed me with open arms...

-Saturday night the Mrs. and I went out for an early Italian dinner...Great little place right in our neighborhood...After some great food, a couple glasses of wine, and desert, we were feeling good...She was even a little frisky...Then we went to meet up with some old friends of mine for drinks...We had a great time...The Karaoke started, and we had to go...We wanted to stay, but the baby-sitter was starting to cost us a lot...

Sunday, the wife was feeling a bit tired, and well, she just can't hang like she use to...So I took the kids to a park for a couple hours...Molls was loving the swings, as usual!


After that we knocked out some yard work while the kids road their bikes...I had to chop the hell out of a hedge along the driveway, so I can get my new mini-van all the way in the back...Yep, I'm full blown Mr. Mom now, rocking the mini-van...

That's it for now...Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Why a Patriots hottie to start this week? Why not!?! Look at her...And that beast Gronkowski hit that...Oh, and the fact that the Patriots offense is a machine, that I think is on course to take on the Packers machine in the "Super Bowl." Who needs defense when you have a couple of offenses that can make the scoreboard flash "TILT!!!"

Here's another shot of her, all sexed up before Gronk gave her a thrashing!


So a lot happened in the sports world this past week...And the idiotic world of Baseball got things started off Monday when they decided to finally let Ron Santo into the Baseball Hall of Fame, a year after he died...Of course I had plenty to say about THIS...

Then the Los Angeles Angels, who aren't in Los Angeles, gave Albert Pujols (31 supposedly) a ten year 250 million dollar contract...That is an insane amount of money, and an insane amount of years for a guy that has a lot of wear and tear on him already...I think it's stupid, but at least Pujols didn't sign with Miami and their new stupid uniforms...

Then Saturday news broke about NL MVP, RYAN_BRAUN testing positive for steroids...I don't give a shit what he says...Baseball has put itself in a position of, you're guilty until proven innocent...Maybe that's because we have yet to see some one accused of juicing, be found Innocent of it...Fuck him, the fucking cheating cunt that he is!

It's this shit...Stories like these three that push more and more people, including me, away from Baseball...Fuck all of them, they can eat my ass!

But there was good news Saturday night, as I got to TOOT my own horn after Robert Griffin III won the Heisman Trophy...Baylor got their first Heisman winner, and Griffin proved you don't have to be playing for one of the big boys to get some attention...Kid has great skills, and a good head on his shoulders and he deserved it the most...I was glad the invited Montee_Ball from Wisconsin, since his numbers were better then the highly hyped Trent_Richardson...Yeah, if you click the links to those two guys, it goes to their stats...Ball has him beat!

So, the embarrassing Browns were on the NFL Network's Thursday Night game this past week, against former rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers...I say former, because it can't be a rivalry if one team keeps getting their asses whooped each year...This was a boring ass game, but the Browns defense nutted up and kept the team in the game...Just to see Colt McCoy an his merry band of shitty offensive player suck it up some more...Then cheap-shotting, head hunting, James Harrison did this...




I don't care what anyone says, Harrison is a fucking asshole...This isn't a freak thing with him...He does this shit on a continuous basis...Hell he got two Browns players last year in the same quarter...But what do you expect from dolts that come out of Kent read, Kent write, Kent State...

Speaking of Kent State dummies, I decided to mix it up with Josh Cribbs on Twitter after his idiotic post-game tweet...

"JoshCribbs16
We almost pulled off an upset. The boys really Battled 2day ... All I can say is next time we meet, it will be in Cleveland!!!!"

So I responded with this...

TheBeeze34
@JoshCribbs16 "it will be in Cleveland!!!!" SO WHAT! Offense can't produce, and the D is out there busting ass. Almost doesn't count!!!!

He didn't respond to that, so Friday I tweeted this...

TheBeeze34 I unfollowed all Browns players I was following last night...God they suck! @JoshCribbs16 idiotic tweet pushed me over the edge! Whata dolt!

That got his attention...

JoshCribbs16
"@TheBeeze34 Finally thank you..."

TheBeeze34
@JoshCribbs16 Don't flatter yourself, I stopped following you over a year ago, you overpaid hack!

Now unlike many other athletes out there, Cribbs decided to stop before this blew up, knowing how it could turn into a story on Yahoo, about another Football player saying stupid shit on twitter...SO he left it with this...

JoshCribbs16 Josh Cribbs
"@TheBeeze34 Lol God Bless u..."

That kind of annoyed me...I would have respected him if he said FuckYou! But he's a Brown, and we've all seen what pussies they are!

Sunday Jesus Tebow won another game for the Broncos...Okay, this Tebow thing is kind of freaky, and annoying...All these talking heads keep talking about Tebow winning games, and Tebow's winning record...Ummm what the fuck about the Broncos defense that has been cock-strong...I didn't see Tebow out there shutting people down, and making sacks...And it wasn't fucking Tebow kicking 51 yard, game winning field goals...Pleas get off his nuts and start giving the rest of the team some nut-swing!

Thankfully my Sunday wasn't ruined by a Browns game...It was cold here in Cleveland, but the sun was out, so it wasn't too bad...So that meant Molly and I were heading to the park for a little swinging time...We got some in on Thursday too...So far December has been okay weather wise, and we're taking advantage of it...



That's it for now...Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.