So apparently Cleveland Magazine is having some kind of "March Madness" Bracket for the best Cleveland Blogger...And these assholes didn't include me...HERE'S a look at their bracket...Clearly these snooty East Side pricks aren't reading the right shit!
The Beezewax has always given an honest view of Cleveland, from some one who has lived here his entire life...ME! No pretty skyline picture up top there...A quality shot of the good ole days, when the river banks were on fire from the insane amount of oil and pollution in the water...
No pandering to the sports teams in hopes of getting an interview...I don't need to interview Mike Holmgren to know he prefers to be in Seattle...I don't need to interview anyone from the Indians...I have 162 games to watch and see how poorly they spend the little money that they do spend...(Great deal they gave Hafner...Hack is a part-time DH who hasn't hit shit since MLB cracked down on 'roids, and he's making more money then Jesus!)
And let's not forget that I nailed the Heisman winner back in JULY!
No fluffy restaurant reviews...Fuck Matt Fish and Melt! Honest reviews from a guy who has been in the business since he was 13...By the way, South Side has a good one coming their way...Long wait...Hate when places that don't take reservations...Decent service...Good food...Good drinks...And the wife blew me on the way home, so mostly positive!
Open and and honest talk about politics and and current events...Like THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS...
And let's not forget about my feelings on CHINA...
Yet, I still find a way to mix in some light-hearted stuff as well, like THIS and THIS...
But I expect nothing less from those hacks at Cleveland Magazine...That rag is one of those pieces of shit, that if you buy advertising, they'll suck your ass...It lacks integrity, and kisses the asses of the well-off Clevelanders, and could give a shit about the hard working, grinders that really make up this Godforsaken place...
They can all Suckle me...This is the best blog in town you dolts!
Well, Thanksgiving has passed so now the mad Christmas rush starts...It's bad enough that stores had Christmas stuff out before Halloween, but now the crazy starts strong...Like all the nut-jobs obsessed with all the deals they can get on Black Friday...I saw this picture, and I had to use it...
I haven't been the biggest supporter of the Occupy Wall Street movement...Mainly because there was no real leadership, or focus...I got what some of the people were talking about, but it was overshadowed too much by the ass-hats that kept getting camera time...But the picture says a lot...The Occupy people were shit on for what they did...Probably by many of these fuck-stains that act like lunatics on Black Friday...Fuck that, I'd rather pat full price, or get a good Christmas Eve sale!
Now before I get into any Sports shit...Here is my REVIEW of an over-hyped, shitty, Grilled Cheese joint...What fucking assholes!
So now we move on to sports...Saturday was the big Ohio State vs. Michigan game...No I don't say Meeeeeeeechigan...I hate them, but that just looks, and sounds stupid when people do that...Now, I also hate Ohio State so I didn't really care about the game...And this year's game just wasn't as hyped as in years past, with OSU having a down year and Michigan getting themselves back on track...So I took the baby for a walk, and then we took a nap...We woke up with a minute and change left in the game...The Buckeyes lost for the first time in 7 years, or something like that...
After that I jumped online and started seeing the tweets and facebook updates...Buckeye fan blowing it off like it was no big deal...Listing their excuses why they lost...Neglecting to list that the big reason that caused so many of those small reasons was that Coach Tressel let his players break NCAA rules, tried to hide it and lied about it, and brought down a proud program in a matter of months...But Buckeye fan doesn't care...They are blogging, and tweeting, and talking about how Urban Meyer is coming to Columbus to save them...
The same Urban Meyer who had a large number of players at Florida get busted for breaking NCAA rules...The same Urban Meyer who quit twice in one year because of health reasons, and wanted to spend time with his family...So it's rumored Ohio State is throwing a huge 7 year deal at him...I wonder if he'll actually make it through that contract...Don't get me wrong, Meyer was a great coach...If you look what he did before Florida, you can see that...He made BGSU a MAC power, then he turned Utah around, and made Alex Smith a first round draft pick...But OSU fan, I see him doing one of two things...Getting your program in more trouble, or quitting in 4 years after being run down again...Oh, and of course, he actually has to take the job...So far, everything has just been speculation...
And don't give me shit for be critical of your damn teams...If you've read me before you know I'm just as honest and critical of my teams...Not all of us go through life with rose colored glasses...So with that, The Notre Dame Fighting Irish went to Stanford to take on Andrew Luck and company...And in the first half, they looked like shit...I thought it was going to be a blow out...Then coach Kelly got that stiff QB Tommy Rees out of there, and put Freshman QB Andrew Hendrix in...Hendrix is perfect for Kelly's spread offense...He runs like Tebow, but he has a fucking cannon for an arm...
Hendrix, along with help from the defense got the Irish back in the game...They lost 28-14, but at least they kept it respectable...
Sunday we put up our Christmas tree, and broke out some decorations...The kids were fired up about it...In the background, The Cleveland Browns were searching out another way to lose a game...Holy shit these receivers drop a lot of passes! Then with less then 2 minutes left...The Browns can take the lead with a field goal...And for the second time in 3 weeks, Butch Davis' best draft pick, long snapper, Ryan Pontbriand fucked up the snap, and Phil Dawson missed the kick...Dude use to be a clutch kicker, and now his snapper is choking and he's pushing kicks wide...Unreal!
Then the Patriots kicked the shit out of "The Dream Team" from Philly...The Eagles looked so bad, those animals in Philly are calling for Andy Reid's big fat head...What took you idiots so long...Fucking guy is grossly overrated...Oh, and as a father he produces quality kids...You know, those two drug dealing sons of his...What? Too Soon? Fuck you! Fuck him! and Fuck his criminal sons! You know what, fuck his wife and her criminal producing gash too!
Speaking of Philly shit heads...The Rangers and Flyers had a warm up for their Winter Classic match up...Lundqvist threw a shutout, and of course some punches were thrown too...
Oh, did you see the Broncos won again? That's right, the lord and savior, Tim Tebow has gotten another win under his belt...Sure, he didn't play defense...Sure he didn't play special teams, but he sure as shit is going to get all the credit from the ass-hats on ESPN and the NFL Network, and from radio talking heads...'Fucking Tebow wins another game, put his ass in the Hall of Fame!'
I know, I'm so negative...So I'll close on a positive...I tweeted a link to this video on Thanksgiving, saying how thankful I am for this little girl...I'm thankful for all my kids, and my wife, and family and friends...But she was singled out, because she was unexpected, and to be honest, for a few minutes when I first found out she was on the way, I didn't want her...Now, I can't imagine my life without her...I can't believe she's almost a year old...
Okay, for a few years now, I've been of the mindset of, "Fuck Melt!" Over=priced, over-hyped grilled cheese, served by a bunch of douchebags that thing they are too good to be waiting on you...
Well, after tonight, my mind has not been changed at all...Fuck these fucking cock sucking douchebags!
After going to a movie this evening, the Mrs. and I were feeling hungry...We checked with the sitter, the kids were doing well...Baby was asleep, no problems...We saw the Melt in Independence, Ohio and said 'what the hell...Lets give it another try...Past experiences had us waiting an hour for a table (first come first serve)...And then be waited on by a dolt with too may piercing and too many tattoos, who had an attitude that doing her job, waiting on us, was some how beneath her...Of course she thought highly of herself, already be well trained as a human pin-cushion...
Then there was the food...I would describe it as "DRUNK FOOD"...Shit I was making at 3:00 AM when I was drunk, 15 years ago...Yet the mastermind behind Melt, egomaniac, Matt Fish thinks he's greatest culinary mind on Earth...Hey, I love grilled cheese like a mother fucker, but slapping a pirogi in the middle of one is no great shakes...A fucking retard could come up with that!
But back to tonight...We walk in, and ask the hostess about how long...She says 20 minutes, and I peeked at the clipboard...There were only 2 parties ahead of us...We put in our name and had a seat...After that a couple more parties came in...About 30 minutes into our wait, the tables ahead of us had been sat, so we were looking forward to getting to a table soon...Then a party of 4 came in...They went right up to the hostess stand, and it was clear they were friends with the people that worked there...2 minutes later, they were sat...
We looked at the people around us, and it was clear everyone was pissed about this...My wife got up, and started scanning the floor for any other open tables...There were none...Then she approached the hostess...She asked "did those people have a reservation?"...The twat responded by saying, "We don't take reservations, it's first come first serve." The Mrs. said, "Well they just got here, and we've been waiting for awhile now." So the twat says, "Oh, they put their name in like a hour ago, and then came back."
This is where I step in..."No they didn't...If they did, why did you tell us, it was only a 20 minute wait." Twat said, "Yes sir, they did." ..."Ummm, no they didn't, I saw the sheet, and there were only two names ahead of ours, and they were sat." Twat now change to cunt..."Are you calling me a liar?" ...."Yes, you're a lying cunt...Fuck your shitty grilled cheese!"
And we left...I stopped there, because the next thing to come out of my mouth was, 'I hope the next time you get your stupid lip, or nose, or whatever pieced....I hope a dirty needle is involved, and you get the AIDS...Not Magic Johnson AIDS that can be fixed with Millions of dollars and Swedish doctors, but the nasty, bad AIDS, you stupid dirty cunt!'
Yeah, When I get pissed, my mind goes to bad places...Really bad...So we left...Fuck her! Fuck her friends...Fuck her family...Fuck Matt Fish...Fuck Melt...Stupid fucking grilled cheese....Suck a dick!
So apparently Cleveland Magazine is having some kind of "March Madness" Bracket for the best Cleveland Blogger...And these assholes didn't include me...HERE'S a look at their bracket...Clearly these snooty East Side pricks aren't reading the right shit!
