The Beeze Reviews Melt

Okay, for a few years now, I've been of the mindset of, "Fuck Melt!" Over=priced, over-hyped grilled cheese, served by a bunch of douchebags that thing they are too good to be waiting on you...


Well, after tonight, my mind has not been changed at all...Fuck these fucking cock sucking douchebags!

After going to a movie this evening, the Mrs. and I were feeling hungry...We checked with the sitter, the kids were doing well...Baby was asleep, no problems...We saw the Melt in Independence, Ohio and said 'what the hell...Lets give it another try...Past experiences had us waiting an hour for a table (first come first serve)...And then be waited on by a dolt with too may piercing and too many tattoos, who had an attitude that doing her job, waiting on us, was some how beneath her...Of course she thought highly of herself, already be well trained as a human pin-cushion...

Then there was the food...I would describe it as "DRUNK FOOD"...Shit I was making at 3:00 AM when I was drunk, 15 years ago...Yet the mastermind behind Melt, egomaniac, Matt Fish thinks he's greatest culinary mind on Earth...Hey, I love grilled cheese like a mother fucker, but slapping a pirogi in the middle of one is no great shakes...A fucking retard could come up with that!

But back to tonight...We walk in, and ask the hostess about how long...She says 20 minutes, and I peeked at the clipboard...There were only 2 parties ahead of us...We put in our name and had a seat...After that a couple more parties came in...About 30 minutes into our wait, the tables ahead of us had been sat, so we were looking forward to getting to a table soon...Then a party of 4 came in...They went right up to the hostess stand, and it was clear they were friends with the people that worked there...2 minutes later, they were sat...

We looked at the people around us, and it was clear everyone was pissed about this...My wife got up, and started scanning the floor for any other open tables...There were none...Then she approached the hostess...She asked "did those people have a reservation?"...The twat responded by saying, "We don't take reservations, it's first come first serve." The Mrs. said, "Well they just got here, and we've been waiting for awhile now." So the twat says, "Oh, they put their name in like a hour ago, and then came back."

This is where I step in..."No they didn't...If they did, why did you tell us, it was only a 20 minute wait." Twat said, "Yes sir, they did." ..."Ummm, no they didn't, I saw the sheet, and there were only two names ahead of ours, and they were sat." Twat now change to cunt..."Are you calling me a liar?" ...."Yes, you're a lying cunt...Fuck your shitty grilled cheese!"

And we left...I stopped there, because the next thing to come out of my mouth was, 'I hope the next time you get your stupid lip, or nose, or whatever pieced....I hope a dirty needle is involved, and you get the AIDS...Not Magic Johnson AIDS that can be fixed with Millions of dollars and Swedish doctors, but the nasty, bad AIDS, you stupid dirty cunt!'

Yeah, When I get pissed, my mind goes to bad places...Really bad...So we left...Fuck her! Fuck her friends...Fuck her family...Fuck Matt Fish...Fuck Melt...Stupid fucking grilled cheese....Suck a dick!

Later, The Beeze.

Paterno, Sandusky, and Dummies

Okay, so maybe we'll start with the dummies...In my Monday Moaning post I took a break from the Penn State scandal...I kinda hit a wall of writer's block, and put up one of my weakest posts in a very long time...

So, back to the dummies...Like these two assholes who decided to stop in front of Joe Paterno's house before Saturday's game, and genuflected...Seriously, what is wrong wit these people...Old dude got fired because he along with many others knew Sandusky was a fucking creep, and did nothing about it...I get fan and school loyalty, but this shit is retarded....

And why is crap like this going on? Because the University let Paterno, the man, become bigger then the school...Penn State didn't become the "Brand"...Paterno became the "brand" and PSU sold that...And these people ate it up...An now every day people stop at the Paterno house, like it's a shrine...Keep kneeling at the alter of a cover up dolts, your showing your true idiotic colors...Stand with the child rapist, and his cronies that hid his secret...Can't wait to see how far that gets you...

And for the dummies pissed off that the Big-Ten has decided to remove Paterno's name from their conference trophy, FUCK YOU!

Paterno should have never been the name-sake for the trophy...You people don't know shit...Penn State didn't even join the Big-Ten until 1990...So after Nebraska, they have spent the shortest amount of time in the conference...Jesus the conference was formed in 1896, I think there are plenty of people you could name the trophy after!

And now to Sandusky...This fucking scum-bag decided to do an interview tonight with Bob Costas...While he said he was innocent, he sure as hell sounded guilty...It's hard to not sound guilty when you admit to showering with 10 year old boys...And when Bob asked him if he was attracted to young boys...Holy shit he took a little to long answering that one...Saying "I enjoy being with kids," and then stammering into saying he isn't attracted to them...

Dud just sounds like a creep...And then his lawyer was there proclaiming his innocence...This guy looks like a real WINNER...So when you need a lawyer to get you off on child rape and molestation charges, call the fucking guy that knocked up a 17 year old back in 1996! What the fuck is going on in Pennsylvania!?!

Then it came out that the judge that let Sandusky free on $100,000 bail without house arrest, or an ankle bracelet, was also a volunteer at The Second Mile charity organization where Sandusky hand picked his victims...Again, Pennsylvania what the fuck is going on? It seems at every turn, people in positions of power/authority keep protecting, making life easier for the child rapist...

And then I saw this creep-tastic video of Sandusky...




I don't know how people could have ever trusted this evil fuck with their kids...

Dummies, wake up...Paterno wasn't and isn't a god...Sandusky is as guilty as can be...And the world will be a much better place when Sandusky, Paterno, and all who in any way, shape, or form were involved in protecting this fucking animal are dead.

Later, The Beeze.

"If You Believe in the World, I'm Calling"

What the Hell is going on? Is this shit London, or Detroit?


Are we actually going to make it to 2012? This is my 500th post here, and I'm wondering what will the world be like after the next 500, or will we even still be here...

People started protesting the police in London, because they shot and killed a man...Somehow the protests turned into all-out, burn this fucker down, steal everything we can, riots...What these ass-hat, rioting fucks aren't talking about, is why this dumb asshole was shot and killed...HE SHOT AT THE POLICE!!! Ummm, if you shoot at police, they shoot back! This guy was no saint, but somehow this turned into a socioeconomic battle, and now these dopes are destroying their neighborhoods, businesses, and infrastructure...

How fucked up...People of London, this is not how you fix things...Wake up, before it's too late...

-Here in America, we had our giant battle over the debt ceiling...Then when politicians drove us to the edge of financial disaster, S&P took a stand and dropped our national credit rating...Whether justified, or not, they made a point, and the Market tanked Monday, slightly bounced back Tuesday, and went back to the shitty on Wednesday...

What are the politicians doing, besides vacationing? They're all playing the blame game...Guess what it's not just President Obama's fault...It's not just Republicans' fault, or Tea-Party dolts fault...The fault falls on all of them, and all politicians who have only been looking out for themselves for the last 30 years...

I actually DVR'ed all the Sunday morning news shows and watched them all this week...What idiots...One Tea-Party dope said if The President would have listened to the Tea-Party and given $4 Trillion in cuts, we wouldn't have this problem...Yeah, except there was a plan being worked on between The President, and leadership from both parties...It had $4 Trillion in cuts, and had reform to Medicare and Social Security...But God forbid, it also had closing Tax loop-holes, so the largest companies would actually pay taxes, and not get unnecessary rebates...Those would have brought in $4 Trillion...

Get it, cut $4 Trillion, and add $4 Trillion would make us plus $8 Trillion...But these hard-line Republicans, and Tea-Party dopes screamed no...So now all we have is $2 Trillion in cuts, so we're still pretty much screwed...And instead of fixing shit, all our politicians are on vacation, saying it's all some one else's fault...You all waited until the last minute, and you all screwed up...Get back to work, listen to the people, and do the work the people pay you to do...

-But at least we aren't in Africa...


Yes, Africa, where there are 600,000 children on the verge of dying from starvation...If a major drought isn't enough, then there are the Muslim extremists who have been on a killing spree, driving already sick, and hungry families from there homes, and to refugee camps...Then these warlords are also stopping aid from getting to the refugees as much as possible...And the U.N. says they only have enough money and supplies to last another 3 weeks...

It's odd how our Government, and NATO, and the U.N. don't really seem to care about Muslims extremists committing genocide in Africa, but all other Muslim extremists are bad and need to be taken out...Ummm, if we're gonna take on this crusade, then let's handle all of the nut jobs...

It's getting hard to believe in our leaders...Hell it's getting harder and harder to believe in human beings...I'm not giving up...Let's see where we are in another 500 posts...

"If You Believe"

"So, you've made up your mind
You're tired of trying
Time to be scared
And you wanted to fly
You can't close your eyes
Time to beware

But if you believe in the world I'm calling
And if you belong in the world I saw
And if you believe in the world I'm calling
You'll be strong

So you wasted your time
You willed it goodbye
Time to be scared
You thought you could buy
Your last piece of mind
Time to beware

But if you believe in the world I'm calling
And if you belong in the world I saw
And if you believe in the world I'm calling
You'll be strong"





Later, The Beeze.

I'm Really Getting Sick of People

This is going to be one of those angry posts...I had the day off to take the baby to the doctor's office...Shot day sucks! Then the Little Beeze had to see an allergist because the spring/summer has got his eczema going crazy...Telling a 6 year old boy he is allergic to grass sucks...And getting him to not dive for ground balls is out of the question...He wouldn't listen if I told him not to dive in the grass...

But that's not what this is about...Those things just helped me stay in a crabby mood about some other things that have been in the news the last week...

First off, Roger Ebert...You stupid, drooling asshole...I'm all for cracking jokes, and busting balls, but could you at least wait a couple days before you make jokes about a dead guy who was on "Jackass" Ebert tweeted "Friends don't let jackasses drive drunk" shortly after the death of Ryan Dunn...Roger, maybe wait for the toxicology report to come out...Besides, it just wasn't cool...I know you have trouble speaking, you drooling mess, so you love pounding your keys, but fuck dude! Hold back for at least a day...Ebert is a egotistical gas-bag, and besides being wrong tweeting that shit hours after Dunn's death, most of his stupid movie reviews are wrong too...Why the fuck did the doctors save you!?!

Too harsh? Too bad!

Next, Tracy Morgan...Tracy, please stop apologizing to everyone, for doing your job...For those who don't know, a gay man was offended while sitting in a comedy club, watching Tracy Morgan, because Morgan did a bit saying, 'If his son was gay he would stab him'...Now I wasn't there, so I didn't hear the full context but, It's a comedy show...It's Tracy Morgan, who is all about shock comedy...He's always done "Edgy" stuff...He's always crossed lines...That's why people go to see him...I saw his last special on HBO and I thought it sucked...But I knew what kind of stuff he was going to do...It's Tracy Morgan...

So for over a week the Gay rights groups have been up his ass, and have him constantly apologizing for hurting people with his words...FUCK THAT! He was doing his job...It's not his fault you have thin skin...Why is Lisa Lampanelli allowed to say whatever she wants about Gays, Blacks, Hispanics, Asian, and Jews, but Tracy Morgan can't joke about stabbing a gay son...And just so you know, I'd be fine if the Little Beeze turned out to be gay, but guess what? Me and every father on this Earth, all hope that our sons are straight...That's just the way it is...And that's probably why some people laughed at the bit...

Next, all of you Jesus freaks who were upset that NBC excluded "under God" from their Pledge of Allegiance montage...First so you know, it was written by a socialist, minister, named Francis Bellamy in 1892...It read,

"I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

In 1923 this slight change was made...

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

It wasn't until 1954 when "under God" was added during our fear of the Communists...But most fucking dummies don't know that! Bellamy's daughter objected to this change, and we all should...The Pilgrims came here to be free of Religious persecution...The founders of this country made it clear that there should be Freedom of/from Religion, and there should be separation of Church and State...I'm all in with them on this...

I don't want the State telling the Church what to do, and I don't want the Church telling the State what to do...And the way they both have been acting, I don't want either telling me what to do...If you believe in God, that's great, but just because you believe, doesn't mean the entire Nation does...Back the fuck up!

That's enough ranting for now...

Later, The Beeze.

More Ranting...

I guess I didn't get it all out of my system last night...This should be short and sweet though...

I've been hearing a lot about the new Beatles Rock Band game...My nephew plays the Guitar Hero and Rock Band games...I like video games, but this one makes me a little crazy...Are we going to have a whole generation of kids that know how to press buttons on a fake guitar, instead of actually play one?


Not if I have anything to do with it...Last year when we went to visit family in Boston...I brought a guitar...Know what I did with it? I gave it to my nephew...Time for the real deal...And you've got a better chance of getting a chick to do things to you if you play an instrument, then if you pretend to play one...

That's right kids, it's more fun to actually play guitar, then it is to pretend...Also learning to play, and make music is a much greater accomplishment then being a fake...Ask Milli Vanili!

Moving along, I guess Congressman Joe Wilson of South Carolina didn't read my post last night...I wish he would have...Maybe he wouldn't look like such a douche right now...I don't care that you disagree with the President on Health care...Have at it...But don't be that guy...The guy that you were tonight...What kind of dummy sits there as the President addresses Congress and the country and yells at him? Apparently you do sir...DOLT! Stay Classy South Carolina...


(Sorry B-Dub!)

Now let me touch on a little Sports...The Pittsburgh Pirates just this week, clinched their 17th straight losing season....REALLY? Why the hell do you even show up anymore...Not just the team...The fans too...Year after year of crap...This once proud franchise has won five World Series...They've appeared in 7...Greats like Honus Wagner, Pie Traynor, Roberto Clemente, Willie Stargell, Bill Mazeroski, And Ralph Kiner...

Now look at them...After looking into this more, I saw that the Pirates have a Home record of 36-34...By the way, PNC Park is a great stadium...But then when the Pirates hit the road...They are 18-50...WTF!!! What the hell are you guys doing on the road? Seriously...What is keeping you from at least playing .500 ball on the road?

Here's how we fix this...Either sell the team to some one who has an understanding of how to run a franchise...Hey, they're out there...The Steelers and Penguins are doing fine...If not that...FOLD...Baseball is too watered down talent-wise anyway...

And since we're sh!tting on the Pirates...Lets take out the Baltimore Orioles too...Yep...I said it...12 straight losing seasons and no sign of life in the future seems like reason enough for me...The Orioles with 3 World Series rings, and 6 appearances...Oriole greats like Brooks Robinson, Cal Ripken, Jim Palmer, Eddie Murray, Hoyt Wilhelm...And you know Earl Weaver wants to choke the sh!t out of some one about this!

It's sad to see this happen to once great teams...But I look at some of these franchises and wonder...Are they even trying? And before anyone takes a shot at me...I know the Indians blow...And if they even get close to 17 straight losing seasons...Believe me...I'll want them to fold too...

That's all for tonight...

Later, The Beeze.

F*ck Your Dog...You're an A$$hole!

Okay...The picture actually has nothing to do with this post...I just thought it was some funny sh!t...

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So let me start by saying I don't hate animals...I don't f*cking love them either...I'm one of those bastards that is allergic to f*ckin' everything...Cats really set me off...Certain dogs are bad too...But over the years that has gotten a little better...I know that my allergies do have an effect on the anger I sometimes feel about people's pets...And on my one day a week to sleep in,(sleeping in in our house means, sleeping past 8:00AM) When your dog is outside barking like crazy...I hate that son of a b!tch...But honestly, you're the one on the top of my sh!t list...

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'Beeze, where's all this anger coming from?' I'll tell ya where....

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The other day I took my kids to the park...They're playing on the playground...Bunch of kids all over the place...There some people walking there dogs...That's cool...Ya know why it's cool...They're following the law, and have their dog on a leash...

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Then this older couple shows up with their granddaughters, and their dog...Now I can smell the dysfunctional bullsh!t on these people...They're watching the girls again...While Mom...Their daughter...Has been gone for two days getting wasted and laying down for next future ex-husband...

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'Beeze, why so harsh? Who are you to judge?'

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I'm the f*cking Beeze...I have a superiority complex...P!ss off!!!

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So everything is cool...Then these dolts take the dogs leash off...At first it isn't bothering anyone...But then it starts bothering me...It comes over...Wants to say high...Give my balls a sniff...I politely shoo it away...I don't want to go full blow d!ck on these people if I don't have to...Then it keeps pestering me...These twats don't do a thing...So I speak up...I say..."Hey! you wanna get your dog away from me!" This douche says..."Is there a problem?" WTF! I say..."Yeah, your dog isn't on a leash, and it's bugging me." Johnny F*cking Dolt says..."Hey, sorry it's a free country"

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Now I'm pissed! My response is..."Does that mean I'm free to kick the sh!t of you and your dog?" As he stammers I jump right back in and say..."No...because this free country has laws...Get your dog away from me before I skull f*ck you in front of everyone!"

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Asshole quickly rounded up his family and dog and took a little stroll...The best part was he didn't put the dog on the leash...Here comes a BIG f*cking dog...On a leash...And this dummy's little mutt goes after it...BIG dog just started stomping it...I felt bad for the dog, and the kids...It's not their fault granddad is a douche!

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Later, The Beeze.