What's Erie Like?

 

In the five years or so that we have lived in Erie, a number of people have asked me what it's like or how is it different from my lifetime growing up and living in Cleveland...I often say, having grown up in Lakewood, that "it's like living in a big Lakewood"...And I think that's a good comparison...(my friends in Ohio get it, maybe not here in Erie)....But something came to my mind the other day, thinking about the differences...I haven't had a cigarette in over 20 years...And didn't crave it a bit...But since living in Erie, I crave a cigarette at least 5 times a week....This place makes me want to smoke!

Maybe that's too harsh, but seriously, I have had dreams where I'm smoking in them...Not dreams about High School days...Dreams about right now, living here...It all started when I did my 3 year, tour of duty, working 3rd shift at the evil empire, Walmart...Many co-workers smoked, so maybe that's what put into my head...And as I said in my THERE IS NO GOD post, things have been quite stressful these days....

And probably adding to my cigarette craving...Erie, being the most northern city in a northern state, it is amazingly frustrating for having a large number of rednecks...I'm not talking about hunting and fishing people...Not even talking about Republicans...Okay, some Republicans...I'm talking about dolts who wear the Confederate Flag...That have it on their trucks...That have it flying on their homes...ASSHOLES! That is the flag of traitors of the United States...Your state, Pennsylvania fought against them...And Your state, Pennsylvania was on the side that won...WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WAVING THE TRAITOR FLAG?!!?

UGH!

So what else does Erie have going on? It's got great sunsets! Google image search Erie, PA sunsets and you'll see some great ones...There's a popular shirt here that claims "World's 3rd Best Sunsets"....I haven't found any actual, factual shit that backs that up...It is often said "Rust Belt" cities have great sunsets because of air pollution, so yay pollution!  (Cough, cough)

We have a minor league baseball...The shitty Detroit Tigers AA team, The Erie Sea Wolves...

Well, we don't have them this season....Thanks COVID!

So Cleveland has the INDIANS and we have the shitty Tiger's AA team...

There are great Mom & Pop shops throughout Erie...Restaurants, coffee shops, book stores, clothing and apparel, knick-knacks, jewelry, bakeries, markets...Right now I fear for them all and try my best to support them when I can...

There is a cool arts and music scene here in Erie, but you really have to search it out...It isn't well promoted by the dolts (politicians & talking heads) who say they are trying to boost the economy...They help the economy by giving big corporations property, tax free for at least 10 years...You know, those taxes that would greatly help us citizens...We are paying property tax but they aren't...So us and small businesses are picking up the slack and have less money to spend to boost the economy...Like spending money at these big businesses that you gave a tax break too....

Erie has a Casino and Horse Track...I have avoided that...I'd get lost at the track and come home and have to tell the wife we're broke...

People here love the Peninsula....

 

I never knew this existed until I met my wife and we visited her folks....They love the peninsula, talked about it all the time...And we just call it the peninsula...I don't know if that is an Erie thing or just us...It's formally know at Presque Isle State Park...A crooked dick that flops out into Lake Erie lined with beaches and camp grounds, and bike/walking paths, giving the city a bay...The peninsula has animal sanctuaries, places to fish and hunt, The Tom Ridge Environmental Center which is kind of one of those places you go to once, every handful of years...maybe...There's an old school drive-in called Sara's that serves burgers, dogs, fries, onion rings, shakes and ice cream cones...In the early years of our marriage it was one of those places to hit when we would visit...Now, having lived here for awhile, it's just ok...Prices have gone up and quality has gone down...Nostalgia only goes so far for me when I'm talking about food and/or spending money....

At the top of the hill leading down to the peninsula there is Waldameer Amusement Park and water park...Growing up in Ohio, everything gets compared to Cedar Point...It ain't shit compared to Cedar Point...But it also won't cost you the fortune Cedar Point does...And a bonus, I don't like rides...So if I just want to take the kids there and just chill and watch them, I don't pay full admission...

Erie has an airport...It's small and when my wife has to fly for work she has to take a puddle jumper to a real airport with big planes...After the last couple years, she's planning on flying direct out of Cleveland or Buffalo as we are parked right between the two...

One of my favorite things here in Erie....The Erie Otters, OHL team...OHL is Junior hockey for those unaware...

These are high school to college age kids that are looking to go pro...They're so good that there is a draft for these kids each year...They move away from home to take their shot...Above, that's Chad Yetman who had a breakout season this past year before COVID fucked everything up...My youngest met him and Max Golod, another Otters star (he's behind Yetman's shoulder there before a faceoff on a power play) at her school for some class reward...All the kids got a team set of cards and these two autographed theirs...After that she wanted to go to a game and that was music to my ears...The whole family went...We sat 4 rows from the ice...All 5 of us night of fun, hockey and entertainment for (tickets, food, parking) $100...These days, that's pretty damn good...and it's good, exciting hockey...Fights too! We went to about 6 games last season.

That's Jamie Drysdale...He's going to be a first round pick in this years NHL drop...All projections have him going in the top 5 picks...

Former #1 overall pick Connor McDavid played here as well and a bunch of NHLers...

So my hometown of Cleveland has minor league hockey and here we have "Major Junior Hockey"...And it's cheaper...

Erie has a zoo...It's a shitty zoo, especially compared the the Cleveland zoo, but it's good for little kids...Cleveland's zoo is an all day event...Erie's is a couple hours at best...But it's got Giraffes....

The Mall here, is shaped like a gun...No shit! Overhead pictures show it looking like a gun pointed at downtown...

Urban Legend says that the mall was designed that way on orders from the mafia...The Mafia in Erie had ties to mob families in Cleveland, Pittsburgh and Youngstown...One of the most famous mobsters from Erie, Ray Ferritto is well know for his murder of the legendary Cleveland mobster Danny Greene... 

One thing that has always been near and dear to my heart as a Clevelander is Great Lakes Brewing Company...I was relieved and overjoyed when I saw their beers in stores and bars here...Even Christmas Ale makes it here...But I will say this, Great Lakes has some competition...

Erie Brewing Company makes some fine beers...Bayfront Blonde has become my fallback...If I don't know what to drink, or I'm not seeing something that catches my eye...That's what I go with...EBC's Railbender is another great one...A little darker, and can fuck you up quick...If GLBC's Conway's Irish Ale isn't in season or all the Christmas Ale is gone I go with Erie Brewing Company...

Okay, I'm not a total beer snob...I mix in some Yuengling and Moosehead too...

The weather is about the same I mean we live a hour and half east...slightly a bit more north...Spring, Summer, Fall same as back in Cleveland...Winter...Winter here often is a giant frozen, snow covered dildo up our asses...

Erie is like a small Cleveland...Not that different...But more snow...

Now, after this, I just want to crack open a beer...And think about smoking...

Discovering Erie

I originally thought of titling this series, 'Erie, the Town I Love, but often rip on to Make Myself Feel Superior, because Forty Years in Cleveland can Make you Feel Inferior.'

But that seemed a little too wordy...I've been coming to Erie often for the last 15 years...My wife grew up here, and we have come back repeatedly to visit her parents and some friends...But this month we moved here...Her parents getting older, and needing help...Driving up from Cleveland once a week was just getting old....And late night long distance calls when they have a medical problem suck...So we uprooted our lives, and a our kids lives...My wife felt this was something she needed to do...I won't deny, I have been looking to make a move...In the past we talked about places like Boston, Seattle and Toronto...So landing in Erie, PA surprised some people...

We're in a good community, with good schools, and the neighbors seem really nice...As a matter of fact, I have run into a lot of nice so far...If you have read my posts in the past, you know I'm a bit of an angry asshole...I'm going to have to work on that here, because everyone I have met, or come across has been nice...The employees at Lowes were all nice...At the CVS, they were nice...The Plumber we needed to come out was nice...The garbage man was nice...Random people walking down the street were nice...My wife said even the people working McDonalds were nice...(In Cleveland, there isn't a nice McDonalds employee anywhere, let alone one that isn't an idiot!)

The level of asshole here seems much lower...Sorry me rolling into town bumped it up a little...It must be something in the water...I've noticed over the past 15 years visiting, that Lake Erie is much cleaner here...I find it amazing that a hour and a half West from here, the same body of water is a steaming pile of crap...Maybe it's all the shit overflowing from the Browns Stadium...

Uprooting the kids has been the toughest part...My sales pitch to them is that this will be an adventure...We have so much to discover...We know about Waldameer, and that Sara's is awesome! We know about Splash Lagoon and the Erie Zoo...But I know there's more...My youngest and I always like finding knew parks to play at...Here, we only know Frontier, because it's close to my in-laws...We will be setting out on a mission to find all the best parks and playgrounds in the area...

As a sports fan, I find myself pinned between Buffalo, Cleveland and Pittsburgh...So I'l still be able to follow the Indians...I like the Pirates, hate the Penguins, hate the Steelers, the Browns have made me hate them...Intrigued by the Sabres, and Rex Ryan makes me want to see what will happen next with the Bills...I'm also excited to see the next Connor McDavid come through the Otters organization...And I know Mercyhurst plays some good hockey...

As a food lover who has spent his life in the restaurant business, I know Erie is one of the Chain restaurant capitols in the country...But I'm looking for the good stuff...I'll tell you Alto Cucina is my favorite restaurant in town...But I want to checkout 1201 Kitchen, Cloud 9 Wine Bar, and 28 North...


I have many questions...Many things to discover....

Where is the best place for live music? Is the local music scene good?  Please don't be all Train cover bands...My wife went to school with Pat Monohan, so I have a constant reminder of how my musical aspirations failed...

Is there any chocolate better then Romolo's?  Gonna be tough to beat that...

What are the best bars?  Best old man bar? Best dive? Best grub?  Best "nice" bar for after fancy dinner and a show at the Warner Theater?  Who makes the best Moscow Mule?

Another sports question...I'm from Ohio...And I don't care what they say in Texas...You and I know that high school football is just as big of a deal in PA and Ohio....So I have to ask...With McDowell being such a big school, why is their football team struggling?  The past few years they have been taking on Northeast Ohio powers, and getting smoked...

I have a lot to do...We have a lot to discover, and I'll have more questions...But we have the rest of our lives...After the the pain in the ass that this move was, I told my wife, we're not moving again!

So my journey to become an Erieite begins...If you have tips, feel free to share them.

Monday Moaning

Now that looks like a Summer Vacation I could be down with!

Yes, this week Monday Moaning is on the road...Coming to you from Erie Pennsyltucky! We headed in Friday, to my in laws...Where my wife's sister, her son, and my wife's two cousins, and their kids, were waiting for us...We spent Friday night shooting the shit and just hanging out...I had just had a long, hot day at work, so I didn't feel like doing much but sleeping anyways...

My sister-in-law has a son the same age as Little Beeze, so it was great that he had a buddy, but we knew sooner or later there would be a meltdown...Well, the meltdown climaxed with my son throwing a handful of Lego's' that drilled my nephew in the head...Earlier they had disagreement about whether if some toy existed or not...SO that had my little Irish boy hot under the collar...It was just a typical 7 year old boy dick swinging contest, and then some Lego's were taken, and some "Dude, I was using that!" Then some got thrown down, and then some more got thrown down, but just into a head....Great times ahead!

The next morning Little Beeze was messing with his big sister and second cousin...He ended up getting hit in the face with a toy...It hurt him a bit, so he went all out, and threw a hair brush...So after injuring 2 people in less then 24 hours, he was in my dog-house big time...

Just a little while later we all went to Waldameer Amusement Park...I not a fan of places like this, but you know...It's all about the kids...I gladly took baby duty...There's limited rides for kids her age, but Molly was happy just cruising around in the little boats...Plus, we always seem to hit places like this, right when she needs a nap...After a hour and change, she crashed in the stroller...When 3:00 PM hit, I was just trying to get out of there...The rain was holding off all day, and it wasn't going to last much longer...Plus I just wanted to check-in to our hotel, and relax a bit...I mentioned the rain a second ago...Very odd how we've been having a hot as hell Summer with no rain...Then we show up to Erie, and it's cold and rainy...I was just waiting for some snow to blow in Sunday!

Saturday night, we finally got the kids to sleep...I watched the 4x100 relay, because track is about the only Summer Olympic stuff I'll watch...The U.S. came out strong, and had the lead, but Jamaica came on during the 3rd leg...And the anchor finished them off...Yep, Usain Bolt again lived up to all the hype...Normally I couldn't stand a guy that loves himself as much as Bolt...But shit, he's the fastest man alive...Dude may be a dick, but he's the dick you want on your team...

After that, I was laying in bed watching some show on Discovery proving that mermaids exist...I'll have to dig into that some more...I finally crash around midnight...Then some time just after 1:00 AM, the hotel's fire alarms start blasting...I grabbed the baby, wrapped her in a blanket, and covered her ears...I'm standing in the doorway looking back at the rest of my family...The boy, out cold...The oldest girl, awake but unaware...And my wife sitting on the bed saying, "What is that?"

Okay, it was the loudest fucking annoying sound I had ever heard...What the hell could it be...So I yelled, "It's the fucking fire alarm! Get the kids!" She came to, and get them up...The boy still not giving a shit...As she got closer, I told her to grab my glasses, and a key...She also grabbed her purse...Luckily since it had car keys in it, so we could keep the kids warm...About 20 minutes later the Calvary arrived...


Kind of sad that we had to wait 20 minutes...


Even more sad is that they broke out two fire houses for a little patch of mulch that caught fire outside, from a cigarette...It was right next to the elevator equipment, and some how gut sucked in...I could have pissed on it, and put it out...By 2:00AM we were allowed back in...

Sunday we were going to be headed to the Erie Zoo...So I went to target and got a sweat shirt for each of the kids...This cold and rainy shit is for the birds...We hit the Zoo...It's small, so it's great for kids...Okay, it use to be great for kids...But over the past few years they have had a number of the animals die...And then half of the ones we saw looked like they were going to die...The Ape, or chimp or whatever, had blood all over it's area...lots of blood...Then the Leopard sounded asthmatic, and kept puking...The one Black Bear looked like it was going to kill itself...None of the monkeys were doing any of that wacky monkey shit you always see them do...The kangaroos had a bit of hop left in them...Ha, get it!

I always thought zoo's were depressing and cruel places, and this joint validated that feeling...

Molly's favorite was the Penguins...


The were very friendly, and there was one that was very playful, even though their tank looked dirty and funky...And yes, Mom got her a stuffed Penguin at the gift shop...The gift shop which was very well kept, of course...

All of this wasn't necessary to Molly...She was fine stomping in a puddle in Grandma and Grandpa's driveway Saturday morning...


Yeah, I know, I barely said anything about sports, or the U.S. Swimming scandal I wrote about last week...Hey, tough shit! I'll be back into digging into that stuff Tuesday...Unlike the countless people in sports who say "family first," I mean it...Yeah, I spent this time bitching and shitting on Erie...But my kids had fun...My wife had fun and saw family...And I got a blog out of it...

Oh, one last thing...If you ever want really good Pizza and Wings, and you're near Edinboro PA...Go to this little dive JOHN'S_WILDWOOD_PIZZA...Fucking awesome! Just don't ask my wife for directions...You would think some one who attended Edinboro University for five years, would remember the way!

That's it for now...Have a week...

Later, the Beeze.