Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Tales From the Fish House: Holiday Edition

Back for more Tales from the Fish House? This week I thought with it being the season of giving, I would share some tales from the many company Christmas parties the Fish House has had.

We've all heard the stories of office Christmas parties, where the boss is nailing his secretary, and the hot insecure chick is walking around with mistletoe just to be sure that guys pay attention, and keep her self-esteem up....Eventually she'll go home with one of them, or just go to a bathroom stall and get used, and continue to feel insecure...Then there's the creepy dude from the mail room...But this year some chick is going to get to know him. Really get to know the inner him...until she gets hammered, and then all she knows is he got in her, and everyone knows it.

Well Fish House parties weren't much different...I say weren't because the rich guys stopped having them when the realized they could make more money if they're open on Christmas Eve, instead of throwing a party for their hard working employees....But we had some good ones....I'm just gonna throw some examples at ya....But before that.....

You have to understand many of us in our youth really liked to drink, and maybe even liked to try out some drugs. Restaurant people work in restaurants because the white collar world frowns on us....Why? Because we don't hide our vices, and we tend to speak our mind....and we think sexual harassment is bullsh!t. That said on with the tales.....

One of the first things I think about, when I think about the good ole days is one of the owners of the Fish House, dressed up like Santa, with a bottle of vodka in one hand, and a 2' bong in the other, and a server, dressed like a slutty elf grinding on him....My how he's changed.

Then there was the GM who's wife was upstairs looking for him at the party, while he banging a server in the office...many of the staff members knew about this, because they kept going into the office to steal his blow, and watch the show...Everyone seemed to forget to tell him his wife was there. I was sitting with the kitchen manager at doing shots of whiskey, as we did a little play-by-play of the festivities.

There was one year I was getting sh!t faced with this server, and she is just going on, and on about being engaged, and she doesn't really love him, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah....So after many drinks I got her to re-think this whole thing...She came home with me and spent Christmas Eve with the Beeze...She later broke things off with him, but we were just a X-mas Eve one-nighter... She his happily married to an old friend of mine now....See everything works itself out.

I remember one year, one of the owners wives coming up to me with mistletoe....Yeah, she was that chick....and yeah we made it to a stall...I did what I had to do, and so did she....I didn't feel bad about it at all...You want to know why? Her old man was in the stall next to us with a server....F**king freaks!!!

I think that should give you an idea...hell I'm getting a chubby just remembering all this sh!t.

Alright, how about another recipe....

You're gonna need more party ryes for this one. (see previous post)

This is a Corned Beef and Swiss Appetizer.

1pkg (8oz) Philly Cream Cheese (softened)

2 t. Grey Poupon

1/4 lb. corned beef (chopped)

1/2 cup Kraft Shredde Swiss Cheese

2 T chopped green onion

Party ryes

Pre-heat broiler.

Beat cream cheese, and mustard in medium bowl with electric mixer. medium speed. Blend well.

Add corned beef, swiss cheese, and onion. Mix well. Spread onto party ryes.

Place on baking sheet, broil for 3 minutes, or until lightly browned.

Merry Christmas....Keep cooking, and keep F**king.


Later, The BEEZE.

5 comments:

Mind of MadMan said...

That does sound good.. and the recipie also.

Anonymous said...

1st, i am lovin that recipe

2nd, LMAO! i remember parties like those...i never got nailed at em though. I was the one who ended up zeroxing my ass on the copier all the time or my boobs & putting them in everyone's mail box LMAO! my husband used to laugh at me because really, he found it amusing as hell!

oh wait there was this one really bitchhhhhhhhhhh chick who was always giving me grief, i snuck into her office at one of these "parties" and peed in her trash can, locked the door & her trash can sat with PEE in it all weekend.........HA wonder how that worked out for her on monday AM LMAO! i'm a pretty twisted bitch...don't mess with me i'll pee in your trash can LMAO!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL THE BEEZE'S !!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

LMAO! anytime you get to philly , let me know. i'd be honored to hang out with the Beeze familia!!

Mind of MadMan said...

beeze,
I dunno if I can hang with Cindy anymore..
BUT I WILLING TO TRY!!!!!
HELL YEAH!!!

Anonymous said...

HA, MADman, it's a deal.....KEGGER @ the beezez's pad LOL!