I Hate Ice and Snow....

It's official...F*ck Winter...I'm done with this sh!t...As a kid I loved this stuff...I never understood how people could love Winter when they were kids, and then suddenly hate it as they became "adults"....

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Now I know....Last night, after cleaning walls, and furniture, and everything else my dolt of a son colored on with markers....I noticed moisture on the ceiling in the living room...My first thought was 'what the hell did he do now?'

It wasn't him surprisingly...It was my roof...But the little punk didn't take long to mess with situation....He took a hockey stick and poked at the ceiling...Oops...Now there was a little hole leaking water....Get the bucket...Get the duct tape...That fixes everything...

I went outside with a shovel, and hammer....Started beating on the ice with and trying to get some snow off....Until the police showed up....They said I had to stop...Some douche complained about the noise.....I called the Insurance company....Good times....

Got up this morning and tried to get a hold of somebody at the Insurance company....Heard back from them that there wasn't anyone available to come out until later in the week, but I should try to get as much snow and ice off the roof as possible....NO SH!T....

So there I am...On a ladder....Hammer, and screwdriver...Hacking away at the Ice...I had about an 10 inch thick block of ice running along the top of my gutter, and edge of the roof....It was about 8 inches wide...I now have several bruises from these huge chunks of ice falling and trying to knock me off the ladder....After getting all this crap cleared I found the trouble spot....A nice gap where the siding meets the roof...WTF!

Nothing like home ownership to ruin a Saturday....Now I get to wait and see how long the Insurance pr!cks drag their feet on this....

End of this rant...

Later, the Beeze.

Today....

Today sucked...Woke up 6:30 AM...Got dressed...Shoveled out the driveway, and cleaned off the cars....Schools were closed....Had to track down a sitter....Got the wife off to work....Got the kids ready....had to clean off my cars again....Dropped the kids off...It took 30 minutes longer then it should have....Everyone knew this storm was coming, but there wasn't a plow in site....Streets were f**ked up....Got to work...Set up for service....

Got to leave early because there was no business...Cleaned off the car....Picked up the kids....Drive home was better until my street...It still hadn't seen a plow....Neighbor was stuck in the street trying to get in his driveway...Got out of the car and helped push him in....Then I got stuck trying to get in my driveway...Got the kids in the house...Got the car dug out and in the driveway...

Got inside and changed...Got the kids a snack...Checked e-mail...Went to You Gab Sports for a little while....Started washing the dishes....Heard the plow come down...Son of a b!tch....Had to go shovel the apron of the driveway so the wife could get in....Made dinner...Pork chops, mashed potatoes, and corn....Played with the kids....Gave them a bath....got them to bed....

Then my wife told me our daughter has a crush on one of the Jonas Brothers...Crush!!! She's 7...No f**king crushes yet...Then I tried to calm down...I said, "Well I've got a crush on Taylor Swift...In a Year!"

My wife was not amused...."You're a pig...she's a little young!"
That's why I said in a year...Then I hit her with a line from the movie Beautiful Girls...."If she can cut her own food, she's fair game." (it's a great movie...check it out)

That was followed by a..."You're an ass...Go play on your computer." Which also means I'm not getting any tonight...But don't worry the Beeze always HANDLES his business....

Seriously though...Taylor Swift is good looking...If I had the chance, when she's legal...I'd knock the baby powder off that ass....I know I'm a pig...Deal with it...


That's it for now.

Later, the Beeze.

25 Things About Me

I was tagged at facebook to do this...So I said what the hell...Here are 25 random things about me...Letting you know just a little more about just how f*cked up I am.....
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1. I ask my wife for sex every day.

2. Sex or no sex I rub one out almost every day.

3. I blog too much.

4. I don't blog enough.

5. I seek the approval of strangers...(get it...I blog)

6. I like to read, but I hate to read out loud.

7. I've written countless thing that I haven't shared with anyone but myself.

8. I'm afraid of exposing too much of myself...(yet here I sit talking about my masturbation habits)

9. I love porn...LOVE IT!!!

10. After 33 years on Earth, and 12 years of Catholic school, I'm still all fucked up about religion.

11. I liked Van Halen more with Sammy Hagar...Now Eddie is just a douche.

12. I'm not afraid of heights...I'm afraid of hitting the ground.

13. I knew my wife was THE ONE the first time we went out.

14. The time from our first date to the time we got married was about 4 months.

15. I want to have one more baby.

16. I don't want to have another baby.

17. I wanted to name my son Theoren....Everybody else shot it down.

18. Some say FACEBOOK is gay...I love it.

19. I love to cook.....But I hate My job.

20. I want to open my own restaurant...Maybe just a bar with some good food...Whatever...I'm just tired of helping other f*ckers get rich while I'm scraping by.

21. I sometimes lose control of my anger, and say mean shit...or throw shit...(F*cking Child)

22. I want to see You Gab Sports take off and become the top sports Blogging site.

23. I've seen a shrink, and I realized I'm better at his job then he is...

24. I can find something to laugh about, or at in any situation.

25. Laughter is one of the greatest things in the world...So I say.

26.(26 because I wanted to do 26) If you can't laugh at yourself...Punch yourself in the face.

That's it...Next time I'm doing 30.

Later the Beeze.

PS: To the a$$hole who has been f*ckin' around here...You have until tomorrow...Yeah, My sh!t is still back linking on other peoples site...Knock it off...

To Whom it May Concern........

Thank you.....Thank you for taking something I love to do, and sh!tting all over it....I write because I enjoy to write...It's a release for me...I have a job, a wife, two kids, a mortgage, a car payment, student loans, and even more debt on top of that....I don't get paid for the blogs I post...I just do it because I like it...It helps my mental state...If somebody wants to throw bags of cash at me for the crap I write I'll listen...The Fish House is p!ssing me off lately....But that is another story...

I'm not posting my traditional "Monday Moaning" because I'm pissed, and not because the Fighting Irish didn't play hockey this weekend....I'm pissed because somebody took it upon themselves to back link my blog, on others blogs...I'm not sure of their intentions....

Stranger, if you were trying to be an a$$hole...Good job...There are people mad that my blog had a link on theirs....Oh, by the way I don't need a pimp...

If your intention was to pimp my blog...to get more readers...no thanks...I'm not a whore...Okay maybe a little one...But I'm not your whore...Maybe you didn't mean to piss me off...Maybe you thought you were doing a favor...Thanks, but no thanks...As my friend JURK says..."If I wanted a favor, I'd stick my D!CK in a glory hole."

If people want to read the crap I write, they can search it out, just as I searched out the blogs I read....

So I am asking kindly....This is my release...This is something that helps me through my days...So please leave my words, and thoughts alone...Leave my Blogs alone....Leave me alone....

Do you think you are the only person who knows how to use a computer? Do you really want to f**k with people you don't know...

I'm not looking for an apology, just to be left alone....

Again, maybe your intentions were good, but I haven't seen it that way....

So please leave me and my blogs alone....You wouldn't want to get pistol whipped and then watch an angry, Irish, prick from Cleveland skull f*ck your mother....


On the lighter side....To the douches that try to comment on my blogs, by simply posting an ad...I have a list of things for you to do....

A. Lick me!!!
B. I moderate so it ain't happening.
C. Suck me!!!
D. I'm not gonna buy your sh!t.
E. Swallow that load you dirty pig!!!
F. Drop Dead!!!

I think I got all the anger out...I'm laughing as I'm reading this over...

That is all for now...The Beeze.

Ask Doctor Beeze

I have to be honest...I'm hung over, and I've been dealing with a slight case of writer's block...I've started 4 posts, but been unhappy with them all...So they have been sh!t canned...There hasn't been anything p!ssing me off lately, like Oprah...Football season is basically done...You know, except for the "Super Bowl" of course...The NHL season is on their All-Star break....Watch the skills competition tonight...Skip the All-Star game on Sunday...Like most All-Star games, it's crap...Oh and the stupid fans vote in the wrong players....Any who...

You may be asking yourself what's with the title...Well gang the Beeze has a PhD in sh!t talkin' and bullsh!ttin'....So I thought I would put these skills to use...So I'm going to start taking questions from readers...Leave your questions in the comments section, and I will post my advice/answers....

I have recently been asked a few questions, and I thought I would share them with you, along with my answers...

The first question comes from Tim in Cleveland..."Why won't my wife give me a BLUMPY?"

First for those who don't know...A BLUMPY is when a women...or man gives you a blow job while you're taking a crap....Well Tim, you sick f**k, Your wife probably won't give you a BLUMPY because, because she has self-respect...Oh and because it's gross...Yes I know the combination of getting your knob slobbed, and dropping a deuce at the same time feels great, but only for you...That's the type of thing hookers do...good hookers...not your wife.

The next question is from a JURK...http://turkthejurk.blogspot.com/

"Why do My co-workers give me sh!t about being such a huge Radiohead fan?"

Well Jurk, it's because even though Radiohead is talented, many people are tools and just want to hear hits...They want another "Creep"...The other reason is that those cats from Radiohead seem like a bunch of fruits, and even though the people you work with play grab-a$$, and the "penis showing game" they are still somehow homophobic.

I hope this was helpful...Feel free to ask the Beeze your questions...T

Take it easy, the Beeze.

Rise Above It "Super Bowl" Party

A friend of mine at the Fish House, like many of us lost a loved one to cancer, and since then she has throw this "Super Bowl" party to raise money to fight cancer...

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So I told her I would post a little add on my blogs....So if you're in the Cleveland area on "Super Bowl Sunday" stop by the BLIND PIG...Eat, drink, watch the game, maybe win one of the door prizes, and help fight cancer...RISE ABOVE IT!
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Here's a link to their site....http://www.raibenefit.org/
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Later, the Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day...Yes I'm writing this on Sunday night, but it will be read on Monday by many...I hope...Now I don't often get political, I try to avoid it on my blogs, but if you have a problem with MLK, or MLK day...Leave! Dude was tough...and this week part of his "DREAM" will be realized, as we witness the first African American to take the oath of office, as President of the United States....Whether you voted for the man or not...It's history, and it's ours.

Can he screw things up anymore then they already are? We'll see....

Alright...Moving on...I love her, but my wife is nuts...She read the book "Twilight" back before Christmas...She loved it...Whatever...I won't dog somebody for reading...So for X-mas I got her the three follow up books...Since then she has read them all....Twice...She dragged me to the piece of $h!t movie, but hey, you do things you don't want to for the ones you love...And for sex...Then Saturday I caught her reading a manuscript online of the first book written from a different point of view...What!?! WTF!?! She is now on her third round of these books...Seriously how much teenage vampire love story crap can you read in a month?

Okay, I removed that from my chest...The Arizona Cardinals, and the Pittsburgh Steelers in the "Super Bowl"....WTF!!! It's not what I was looking for, but once again the Cards nutted up and got it done...The Steelers and that b!tch of a Defense did their thing again...Poor Ravens just can't beat them...Ahh F**k the Ravens.

What the hell else is rattling around in my head...Oh yeah...my New York Rangers were just starting to get on a roll, and then today they faced the Penguins...The Penguins in their powder blue, candy a$$ jerseys...I hate those f**king things...Those bastards.

Next up some Notre Dame Hockey.....

This weekend the Irish took on Lake Superior State....Friday night they beat the Lakers 3-2...Scoring for the Irish were....Justin White, Calle Ridderwall, and Christian Minella.....Jordan Pearce made 31 saves between the pipes to earn another victory...

Saturday the Lakers battled the Irish to a 3-3 tie...In the national ranking it will be scored as a tie...But in the CCHA they finish what they start...The game went to a shootout, where the Irish won 2-1.

The goal scorers in regulation were Ben Ryan, Erik Condra, and Kevin Deeth...In the shootout Billy Mayday, and Calle Ridderwall scored....Jordan Pearce made 11 saves in regulation, and OT...In the shootout he stopped 2 of the 3 shooters...Notre Dame's record now stands at 19-3-3.


I was gonna write more tonight...I felt a little extra rage...But then I heard from an old friend who has been serving in the military for the last 13 years...So what do I really need to rant about...It can wait...I'm gonna go talk to him some more.

Later, The BEEZE.

The BEEZE'S Hump Day Survey

That's right gang it's that time again...Time to get your Hump on...But first...I started the HDS at Sporting News, and while 98% of my readers over there are guys, I still have some female readers...that amazes me...I also have some female readers here...So for those of you who have played before you know The seventh question is always a who would you rather hump one...Now the rest of you know that I guess....Anyway, I promised the gals at SN that this week I would take care of their needs...So with that said let's get started.

1. Steelers vs Ravens....Who wins?

2. Eagles vs Cardinals....Who wins?

Let's throw something different in this week...Maybe something a little more personal...

3. What is your biggest pet peeve?

4. Should Tim Thomas be the starting goalie for the East over Carey Price, in this year's NHL All-Star game?

5. What is your opinion on Facebook...Do you like it? Or should it be called Fakebook?

6. What do you prefer...Duck Confit or Subway?

Alright guys...This may hurt a little...But I owe the ladies some love....

7. On this cold, snowy Hump Day...Which of these pieces of a$$ would you most like to HUMP?

a. Brady Quinn

b. Brad Pitt

c. Ryan Reynolds

Or d. for the boys or the really fun women...One of my favorites...Keeley Hazell

As always, read and respond.

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Later, the Beeze.

The Beeze Plays the Interview Game

So I guess it's time for the Beeze to take off the mask again...One of the blogs I follow is called Broken Mannequin...It's written by a lovely young women named Charli Henley...She lives in Cambridge Massachusetts, so she must be cool...She's a beautiful writer, and I enjoy her poetry.....Now some of you may be saying...'Beeze, you read poetry?' Yeah, okay...It's not all sex, sports food, and my hatred for Oprah....I have a deeper, more emotional side...It's buried way down deep under all that darkness in my soul...Now that I've played the defensive card, like a child.....

So yesterday on Broken Mannequin http://brokenmannequin.blogspot.com/2009/01/interview-game.html

Charli participated in The Interview Game....Here are the rules...

•Leave me a comment requesting an interview.

•I will e-mail you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

•You then answer the questions on your blog.

•You should also post these rules along with an offer to interview anyone else who e-mails you wanting to be interviewed.

•Anyone who asks to be interviewed should be sent 5 questions to answer on their blog.

•It would be nice if the questions were individualized for each blogger.

So I will follow the rules and offer to interview anyone who would like to play.

Here are the questions Charli asked me,with my answers....I will answer honestly no matter how bad it may make me look.

1. If you walked out of your house one day and noticed a bird with a broken wing huddled in some nearby bushes, what would you do?

If I actually noticed, I would feel bad for the bird, but most likely move on to what I needed to do....I'm an a$$.

2. If there was a public execution on television, would you watch it?

Yes....I have no real reason other than I've never seen it, and I just think I would tune in.

3. Would you like to know the precise date of your death?

No....I don't want to live my life watching the clock...Somethings should remain a surprise.

4. Is there something you've dreamed of doing for a long time, but haven't done it? If so, what is it? And why haven't you done it?

Yes....Before my wife and I were technically dating, I wrote a song...Inspired by her,and for her...I recorded it and gave it to her....Close friends and family have heard it, but I have never performed it in front of an audience, and told them the inspiration...Why I haven't done it...Just like some would think reading Broken Mannequin wouldn't be "my style"...The song doesn't seem to fit "my style."

So if I was going to analyze myself, I would say it's because I fear showing certain parts of myself to others.

5. When did you last yell at someone?

Yesterday...My son...The same reason as always...He wasn't listening again....Then I caught him putting Thomas the train stickers all over the walls.

So there are my answers...If you want to play, let me know....If you want to bust my balls that's fine too....Here let me get a little sports in....Jim Rice finally got in the Hall of Fame....It's about time.

Later, The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

How's it going gang? Time for so more Monday Moaning...here's how the weekend started....It all began with a nice steady snow fall Friday afternoon, that carried on through Saturday night...Friday night I spent some quality time talking trash with my brother-in-law in Boston....The Cavs were playing the Celtics, and even though I don't really keep up on basketball, and I don't really care for LeBron, (that whole wearing a Yankees hat thing) I'll never pass on a chance to talk $h!t....

Next, Saturday started with some snow shoveling, so I could get to work...After work was more shoveling and playing with the kids in the snow...they love this crap...The evening was filled with watching Football, and Hockey...I can't believe the Cardinals beat the Panthers....And so convincingly...I knew the ex-Browns, I mean Ravens could handle their business against the Titans....they are looking hard....

Saturday night we found out our son is a bit of a freak like his old man...It was time to get ready for bed, and he wasn't listening to my wife....Now 99% of the time I'm the "bad cop", beacause he just laughs at her...Well she starts getting mad and tries to be the "bad cop"...."Tomas if you don't start listening I'm gonna spank you!"...Now for the record she doesn't spank...he knows this...So what does he do....He turns around, bends over, and says...."spank me, spank me, spank me hard." I couldn't stop laughing...My wife was in tears she was laughing so hard....Although ther could have been a little sadness there too...Now that she realized her son is a perv like his old man....

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On the Hockey front, there's something that's been bothering for awhile now....each week I watch Hockey Night in Canada...I'm not Canadian, but from what I know, it was always a big deal for our neighbors to the north...But what's bugging me is that 99% of the time, the Prime-time game is a Maple Leafs game...There's other teams in Canada fellas, try spreading the love around...By the way, the Leafs aren't that good...Please stop cramming them down our throats....

My beloved New York Rangers lost Friday in a shoot out against Buffalo...Saturday they came back strong and blanked the Ottawa Senators....






Then Sunday came, and so did I....Oh sorry...More fun out in the snow with the monsters...My son hasn't figured out how to snowball fight yet...He seems to like getting hit...He makes a very good target...My daughter was getting revenge finally for all the crap he gives her...He took one in the face, that gave him a shiner and he was just laughing....The kid is insane...
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After that it was time for more football....The Eagles got it done again, and I know I shouldn't but, I'm saying they're going to the "Super Bowl"...I'm so glad the Giants lost....I can't stand Eli Manning, or the whole Manning family for that matter....Then the Steelers knocked off the Chargers...They seemed to be firing on all cylinders today...Ravens vs Steelers next week....This is gonna be a good one folks.....



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Next up, my favorite part...Notre Dame Hockey....This weekend the Fighting Irish took on the Nanooks from Alaska....
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Friday the Irish won 2-0...The goal scorers were....Ryan Thang, and Senior, captain Erik Condra....Goalie Jordan Pearce made 16 saves to earn the shutout, and the victory.
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Saturday night Pearce recorded his 4th shutout of the season, and 8th of his career on, as the Irish beat the Nanooks 3-0....The goal scores were...Christian Hanson, Ben Ryan, and Ryan Thang.

This weekends victories take the #1 ranked Irish to a 18-3-2 record....Next weekend Notre Dame travels to Lake Superior State for two games.
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I hope everybody had a good weekend...I'll catch you later,
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The Beeze.
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One more thing...TCP, you may want to check this out for your little, and anyone else who has a Thomas the train fan in their house.....
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http://thomasthetankenginefriends.blogspot.com/

Fighting Irish Getting it Done, On and Off the Ice

The number 1 ranked Notre Dame Fighting Irish (16-3-2) have more then just their great start to be proud of...Senior RW, and captain Erik Condra, and senior goalie Jordan Pearce have been chosen as candidates for the Lowes Senior CLASS Award....CLASS being, Celebrating Loyalty and Achievement for Staying in School.

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This award is presented every year to an NCAA Division I student-athlete in nine sports who have combined excellence in academics, athletics, and community service....Athletes who exemplify the "4 Cs"....Classroom, Character, Community, and Competition.

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Condra, a pre-med/psychology major with a 3.56 grade-point average...In his junior year he was selected as an ESPN The Magazine/CoSIDA second-team District V all-academic choice...He's third in team scoring with 18 points...Has great vision, and hands...And is a solid two-way player, who sees time on both the power play, and killing penalties....Condra was selected by the Ottawa Senators in the seventh round of the 2006 NHL entry draft.

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Pearce, also a pre-med major, with a second major in anthropology carries a 3.816 grade-point average, and has been on the Dean's List four times...In his junior year he was selected as the team's Rockne Student-Athlete Award winner and was a Second Team ESPN The Magazine/CoSIDA Academic All-American...Pearce was also named to the CCHA's Scholar-Athlete team....On the ice Pearce is an All-American, and Hobey Baker (the hockey Heisman)candidate....His record this year is 15-3-2...He has two shutouts...a 1.63 goals against average....And a .935 save percentage....Pearce has excellent size, quickness, and agility....He always makes the big save.

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Both players have had a major impact in Notre Dame's community service programs during their careers.

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In 2006-07, former Irish goaltender David Brown`07 won the award, and in 2007-08, forward Mark Van Guilder `08 was one of the 10 finalists for the honor.

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2008-2009 Lowes Senior CLASS Award, Men's Hockey Nominees...

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Brock Bradford... Boston College... F... Hockey East

Andrew Carroll... Minnesota- Duluth... F... WCHA

Erik Condra... Notre Dame... F... CCHA

Shane Connelly... Wisconsin... G... WCHA

Matt Cook... Union College... F... ECAC

Corey Elkins... Ohio State... F CCHA

Sean Erickson... Connecticut... D... Atlantic Hockey

Chris Hahn... University of Maine... F... Hockey East

Trevor Hyatt... Alaska... F... CCHA

Mathias Lange... Rensselaer... G... ECAC

Jeff Lerg... Michigan State... G... CCHA

Brian McCafferty... Harvard... D... ECAC

Zach McKelvie... Army... D... Atlantic Hockey

Zach Miskovic... St. Lawrence University... D... ECAC

Patrick Mullen... University of Denver... D... WCHA

Jordan Pearce... Notre Dame... G... CCHA

Zach Pelletier ... Ohio State University... F... CCHA

Mike Phillipich... Air Force Academy... F... Atlantic Hockey

Dean Strong... University of Vermont... F... Hockey East

Dewey Thomson... College of the Holy Cross... F... Atlantic Hockey

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This Weekend The Alaska Nanooks visit South Bend for two games with the Irish.

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Go Irish!!!

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Later, The BEEZE.

TFtFH: C*ck Blocked by a Tw*t

I had another title for this, but this one was a little softer.

This week Tales From the Fish House looks at me getting shot down, and the wonderful world of lesbians....So lets get to it....

Long before there was a Mrs. Beeze, I was a horny f**ker, trying to get as much as humanly possible...This was 12-13 years ago...It's kinda blurry....A new server had started at the Fish House...She was a good looking blond with nice big creamers....We'll call her Karrie...We use to call her tits for brains....So like all new good looking servers I started spittin' some game at her...



Finally one night after work about five of us, Karrie included went out boozin' after work...I was doing well, but then my toughest competition moved in....Tanya...We referred to Tanya as "the Man"....She got more a$$ then all of us guys combined...Yes Tanya is a lesbian, and a very good one at that....we're both leaving it all out on the field...This was a last man standing match now....Eventually Tanya starts acting drunker then she is..."Karrie do you think you could give me a ride home?"



Are you sh!tting me? Karrie tells the rest of us she'll be right back....Well I closed that joint, and she never came back...But I knew that was gonna happen...Tanya is Ohio's number one muff diver...Her moto..."No Muff to Tuff"...For a chick, she was c*ck strong....That night was the beginning of a 3 year relationship between Karrie & Tanya...Unfortunately it ended ugly...Karrie began seeing her ex-boyfriend on the side, and got knocked up....Tanya flipped....She sought revenge by getting every young, hot, hostess, bartender, and server to give it a try...just once...She had some repeat business...



One time I was fortunate enough to hear Tanya and this one knock-out going at it...I had plenty of beat material in my head....I didn't even make it home...I handled myself on the drive home.



Karrie is still around the Fish House...We're good friends...She lives with her baby's father, but they're not together....It's f**ked up.



How about a recipe?



This week we have Grandma McBeeze's Potato Soup...

1 green pepper...diced

1 large onion...diced

6 stalks of celery...diced

1 carrot...dice

1T garlic

6 strips of bacon...chopped

12 potatoes...chopped, cubed, whatever.

1 t basil

1 t oregano

1 t thyme

S & P...to taste

1 c vegetable broth

2 pints of Guinness

3 qrts heavy cream

Saute Bacon until crisp....Add green pepper, onion, celery, carrot, garlic....Saute for a couple minutes, and add basil, oregano, and tyme, S & P, and Guinness...let it reduce by half...add veggie broth, and potatoes....Let it simmer for 5-8 minutes...Add heavy cream, and let simmer until potatoes are soft...Check seasoning.

Enjoy.

Later, the Beeze.