Monday Moaning (Salad Tossing edition)

Lots of shit to talk about this week, so lets get right into it...Thursday night news broke that the Cleveland Browns had hired a new head coach...I had planned on going to bed early, but the news broke just around 11:00PM and I had some shit to say on Facebook and Twitter...

The Cleveland Browns hired a guy that the Cleveland Browns had twice fired...No, I'm not lying...The Browns hired Rob Chudzinski...He was last the Panthers Offensive Coordinator...A position he held in Cleveland, before getting shit-canned for the second time...Thursday night, I wrote that I was "Officially tapping out."  I'm standing by those words...I am done with the Cleveland Browns...Fuck fan loyalty, players and owners show no loyalty to fans...I've had enough of the shit football that as been played in this town, since 1999...Why is it so hard to hire a proven, winning NFL coach...'Cause the Browns refuse to...The Browns can Eat my ass!

Fans seem about 50/50 on the hiring of "Chud"...Those who are happy with it, point to the 2007 season when he was the Browns OC, and their offense was really good...Lets be clear, no team that he has been an OC of, has ever made the playoffs...In 2007 the Browns were 10-6...They didn't make the playoffs...Also, they all seem to refuse to look at the 2008 season, when his Browns offense was #31 in the NFL...31!  "Chud" can eat my ass!

You know who else can eat my ass...Peyton Manning, and the nut-swinging sports media that love him so much...Peyton choked again, but how the talking heads wanted to stick up for him...The guys at BARSTOOL nailed it...The only thing worse is the ESPN darling, Ray Lewis...The most annoying, obnoxious, camera mugging, accessory to murder but got off, piece of shit, alive...I mean this totally...100%...I hope some one on the Patriots cripples him next week...Fuck that guy!

And while people are eating my ass...How about those high and mighty, ass-hat, baseball writers who vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame...These twats decided to not elect anyone to the Hall this year...They all are hiding under the umbrella of the whole steroids speculation...And that's the problem, right there...Speculation...Very little has been proven, so all were punished...That and the assholes who try to say a guy "isn't a first ballot Hall of Famer"...Holy shit, that's retarded...If he's a Hall of Famer, then that's it...No questions about it...And a guy like Craig Biggio, with over 3000 hits and never any speculation of 'roids should have been put in...His numbers are right there with other Hall of Fame second basemen...

But the best statement about what transpired, came from a commenter on ESPN.com...Of course it wasn't from some one who worked there...My pal AFD clued me into this guy Rob Erickson's comment....

"So the baseball writers who were covering the sport every day and watched guys' numbers and muscles inflate at an inhuman rate for years and didn't say anything about it are punishing the guys who aren't even suspected of using PEDs for not snitching... on their friends and teammates? Because they didn't feel like doing their own job as journalists, they're blacklisting an entire era of players for not doing something they weren't willing to do themselves. Great, shut out anyone who played in the steroid era. Just take away the HOF votes of any journalist who covered the sport during the steroid era too." 
Dead on Rob!

And since I got an ESPN dig in there...Let me get another, because there's always a reason for them to eat my ass...Am I the only one who noticed that they love talking about coaching, with two certain members of their staff...Two certain ex-head coaches...Some how, these two ex-coaches are the know-it-alls when it comes to coaching...Odd, since they both have losing records as head coaches...That's right, Eric Mangini, and Herman Edwards....Shut the fuck up and go win some games before you tell us how to coach, or eat my fucking ass!

And how can I forget lance Armstrong?  Lance has finally decided to come out and admit to having cheated....A sport that most people don't care about, that had hardly any credibility, now will have it's only star confess to being a fraud...And who will Armstrong confess to?  Not a sports journalist...Not even a sports news reader...No, he's going to give confess to a rich bitch, who can't stick to a diet...That's right, Oprah...Just another reason not to take Lance or his sport seriously...This is simply a PR move for him...He's trying to save a bit of his rep, and repair the damage he did to the charity he started, that so many are thankful for...Lance, Eat my Ass...Just don't bring Oprah...there won't be anything left for the rest!

All this talk of SALAD_TOSSING reminded me of the "Macho Salad"....






Have a week...

The Beeze.

Monday Moaning

Well, my weekend had started out pretty damn good...Friday night the wife and I went to dinner...We both had steak, because that fish on Friday thing is crap...Just an old bullshit deal the Church worked out with the fishermen to help increase the sales of fish...Then we saw the movie "Safe House"...Pretty good...I liked it...Kept you wondering, and had some good action...Then on the way home I talked the wife into giving me some road head...Always good!

But after about an hour after wee got home, something happened...Something went wrong...Twitter blew up with the news that the Washington Redskins had traded 3 first round picks, and a 2nd round pick to the Rams, to move up to the number two slot in the draft...Locking up the ability to draft Robert Griffin III...My dream of seeing this was crushed


Kid looked good in Brown and Orange...

I was pissed...Then rumors came out that the Browns had actually been in the mix...Offering almost as much...But honestly, I don't believe anything Adam Schefter says...Guy just throws shit against the wall and waits to see if it sticks...He's wrong at least 75% of the time! So I'm skeptical about how much the Browns really dug into the trade talks...

That said, looking at all the holes the Browns have to fill, and the fact that GM Tom Heckert said he doesn't plan on making a splash in free agency, maybe it's better they didn't give up this year's 1st and 2nd, along with their next two 1st rounders...(Yeah, I'm trying to be positive)...

Then of course we have had to deal with the Peyton Manning circus...Christ, early in the week the news broke that the Colts were going to release Manning, and all the fuck-stains at ESPN acted as if they were shocked by this...We all knew this was going to happen. Why is everyone going bat-shit about it?

Then the "Bounty-gate" talk has continued...First, I'm sick of everything semi-scandalous event, or topic having "gate" added to the end of it...This is all Nixon's fault...Ever since Watergate, we have had to put up with this...But fuck-heads, it took place in the Watergate Hotel...Gate doesn't mean bad, or dirty, or scandal...It was just part of the hotels name...So knock off all the "gate" shit!

Second, fuck all this pussy talk about this bounty shit...Monstrous men, playing a violent game, having their coach offer them money to take the violence up a notch...How and why is it so shocking? What shocking is it took this long for some one to actually talk about it...

Now I'm going to get into the political waters...Always dangerous, I know...I've avoided politics for awhile...I've been pretty much sick of all these dolts! But I have to speak up about this Rick Santorum idiot...

Listen, I understand and I can respect that there are people who's political views can be some-what shaped by their faith...But this guy is out there constantly talking about religion...Nothing about the economy...Nothing about foreign policy...Nothing about the environment...Nothing about the cost of education going up, while the quality of education is going down...It's just all about his Christianity...Are you running for President of the United States, or High Priest?

Santorum said that Kennedy's speech about separation of Church and State made him want to puke...Then I see some idiot bitch on TV saying she likes him because he believes in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights...No he doesn't! If he did he'd be all for Separation of Church and State...This country was founded Freedom of Religion...Not 'freedom to be Christian and if you aren't we're going to force our beliefs on you.'

And then of course there was big, fat, Rush Limbaugh calling a young woman a slut, and a prostitute...Rush and Rick don't think women's contraception should be covered by insurance or medicare/medicaid...Nor should having their tubes tide...Yet it's okay for a vasectomy to be covered...It's okay for Limbaugh's Viagra prescription to be covered...And yes, all those old timers have Viagra covered by Medicare/Medicaid...

Rush likes to stand on some moral high ground...Really, guy who has been divorced 3 times...He's on wife #4, yet he's fathered no kids...Were they using contraception? Has Rush been shooting blanks all these years? Maybe...Could be a side effect from all those years abusing Oxy!

It's odd, these two guys are a couple of these fuckers who say Government is too big, and needs to back off...But then they want to tell people what they can and can't do in their bedrooms...They turn around and say, 'You two women can't love each other, can't muff dive, and can't get married.' Or they say, 'Of course have sex with your wife, but no birth control allowed.' Or, 'Sorry you had a fucked up family member who sexually abused you, and got you pregnant, but you aren't allowed to abort it.' Yet none of these fuckers are standing in line to adopt the unwanted children they want to force women to have...

And fuck off if you to bash me for being pro-choice...Sorry, I don't believe some suit should be making choices for all women because of his faith...And while I believe that, clearly I'm pro-life...I got these three kids running around making me crazy don't I!

If your religious, if you have faith in a higher power, fucking awesome...But your faith shouldn't be trying to dictate government policy for a country made up all kinds of different faiths, and people who don't attach themselves to a particular faith...

And the only bit of God I want to hear about in the bedroom is this...




BEEZE 2016!


Have a week...

Later, The Beeze.

The Beeze's Hump Day Hits

Welcome to another edition of the Hump Day Hits...Let's start with that Monday Night Football game...Hey Rex Ryan and the JETS...Maybe you should stop shit talking, and do a little practicing, and film study...And when you get your ass kicked as badly as the Patriots kicked yours, you probably shouldn't talk more shit after the game...Seriously, you just ass-raped by Belichik, Brady and the Pats defense that has been pretty weak all year...Shut the fuck up, and go back to the drawing board!

And since I mentioned Tom Brady...I don't want to here about the greatness of Peyton Manning again...Those 15 Interceptions are awesome! And I don't care about the fact that the Colts have had a bunch of injuries, and Manning doesn't have all his boys...Brady has Welker, Tate, Woodhead, Branch, and two rookie Tight Ends...Welker is coming off a blown-out knee, and Branch is a retread...The rest are unproven...So fuck Manning and his one ring...Brady and his three rings is the shit...Oh, and Brady has only thrown 4 picks...

Tuesday, The Washington Redskins decided to suspend Albert Haynesworth without pay, for the rest of the season...What was the reason given? "Conduct detrimental to the club" SHOCKING! (yes that's sarcasm) My question is, What the hell took them so long...This overpaid, ass-hat, and coach Mike Shanahan have been going at since the fat fucker decided not to show up to training camp, after he collected his $21 million bonus check...Seriously, this fuck-stain should have been dealt with months ago!

Hey, who wants to mix in some politics...I know, politics can get people touchy, so of course I'm gonna go there...It's not all tits, ass, and sports with me...

I read today that a number of the Democrats are furious over the tax deal President Obama made with the Republicans...Well guys, maybe you should look in the mirror, because all they've shown in the last two years, is a complete lack of balls to get anything done...Stop blaming everyone else when you're sitting on the sidelines, acting like cunts!

And as for the Republicans Tax cuts...Well my fellow Americans, considering these cuts are going to add a shit-ton to the debt, we are officially China's bitch...Yes, unemployment benefits will be extended, and our taxes won't jump through the roof come January...Which I think we can all agree those are good things right now, with the way things are...But some real solutions for our country's future are needed...The sad thing is, I have no faith in any of these dolts in DC...I have jokingly talked about running for President...Hell, I've told my wife I want to run for city council, or mayor...And sometimes I think I should, but my opinionated, loud mouth, would probably get me shot...

Speaking of getting shot...(WOW this is an awful segue)...Today, December 8th is the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's murder...George Harrison was always my favorite Beatle...I can't stand McCartney...And Ringo is a douche! But there is no denying how much Lennon's music, and how much Lennon the man, touched people...And no matter what anyone says, his death was a great loss to the music world, and to the political consciousness...




Of course all Lennon tributes need to have "Imagine" in them...It's in the handbook...I started checking out all the covers of the song...Holy shit, a lot of people did that one...But me being me, I'll go to my old fall back band, OLP...




Okay, enough of this downer shit...Let's get to the T&A...Last week we retired Alana's ass and hung it up in the rafters...So this week, we have three new contestants...

On this cold (in Cleveland) Hump day, which of these ladies would you most like to warm up with?


A. Rosie




B. Kasssie




C. Veronika




As always, Read and Respond...

Later, The Beeze.

Seriously!?!

So I go online this afternoon, and I see this nonsense on YAHOO Sports, written by Chris Chase... http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Peyton-Manning-storms-off-Super-Bowl-field-Is-h?urn=nfl,218314

Here we go again, with another non-story...It opens with this...

"Peyton Manning didn't shake hands with New Orleans Saints players after his Indianapolis Colts lost 31-17 in Super Bowl XLIV. Apparently some think this is a sign of poor sportsmanship from the NFL's greatest player. It's not."

Well thank God they got the "It's not" part right...So why did this piece have to be written...What was the purpose, other then getting it into people's heads that Manning is a douche? There was no other reason...It was an exciting tag line, just to get people sucked in...'Peyton did what?' 'What a jerk!'

I can't stand when "News sources" do this crap...But I have an even bigger problem with this article...Look at that quote...

Chris Chase, whoever he may be, called Peyton Manning "the NFL's greatest player." Chris, you should be fired...Dude just lost the "Super Bowl"...He has a 9-9 record in playoff games...He's not the greatest player of all-time...And he isn't the greatest player now...

The media always want to give Manning praise for how he calls his own plays at the line...How smart he is...All the things he can do as a quarterback...But never do they dump on him for his mistakes...Funny how nobody is saying, why didn't he call that quick slant they like to run, on that 3rd and 1 play...Instead he called a run that was stuffed...Saints get the ball back, kick a field goal before halftime...Get the momentum...

Let's be honest...Peyton was rattled late in the game and it showed...The Greatest don't look like that...

I'm assuming some will ask me who I think the greatest player in the NFL is...I honestly can't say who the greatest is right now...Of all-time, I will always say Jim Brown...Greatest QB...I put Otto Graham up there...Along with him, Unitas, Montana...I have Brady higher then Manning...As a Clevelander it hurts to say this, but I have Elway up there too...

And just for the record, I have Brees ahead of Manning...

I'd like to see something new from the sports media...Stop giving the loser so many accolades...Brees, and the Saints played their collective asses off, I'm hearing and reading more about stupid Peyton Manning...While we're at it...Let's stop giving Manning so many accolades...

Is he good? Yes...Are there better? Yes

Let's start giving the guys that beat him some nut swing for a change...

Later, The Beeze.

The Colts are Full of Crap

That's right...I said it!

Can some one...Anyone...Please explain why going for a 16 win season wasn't important to the Colts...But for some dumb ass reason, little individual goals were...I thought Football was a team sport...Yet, when the team was looking at possibly having a perfect season last week, the coaching staff and upper management felt it wasn't important...And that they should rest their starters...

So Sunday the Colts go to Buffalo to play the Bills in a winter wonderland...Peyton Manning started the game...Because his streak of consecutive games started is much more important then his health...Who cares if could slip on the icy turf and break his ankle...That personal goal is so much bigger then the team...

Manning stayed in the game until he got both Dallas Clark and Reggie Wayne to 100 receptions for the season...Alright, put Manning's two best weapons out there, because those personal milestones are much more important...Right? Once Manning was done throwing screens and short passes to his boys, they were all taken out of the game...I won't lie...I was hoping all three would have been injured in that beautiful Buffalo snow storm...Too bad they stayed healthy...

But I'm honestly puzzled by this...Why were these personal achievements so important...More important then taking a shot at perfection...I don't get it...So as I said in the title...The Colts are full of CRAP!

Thank God I'm not a Colts fan! I'll thoroughly enjoy rooting against them in the playoffs...Again...

Don't forget to scroll down and check out Monday Moaning...

Later, The Beeze.