"A Man on the Inside" and Working in Senior Living

 

   For the last two years I've been working as the Culinary Services Director at an Assisted Living community. I enjoy my work, love my team and have great fondness for our residents. While my years in the restaurant business helped me prepare for this, as well as my time working in a hospital kitchen and running a coffee shop/cafe, it's a very different animal. My community treats our mealtimes like a restaurant, but it's not exactly like that...It's not a hospital assembly line, but you're intensely aware of dietary needs and restrictions. It's not glamorous and not going to land you on The Food Network, but I'm proud of it. I feel good about myself at the end of the day. 

  A month ago, I binge watched a new series on Netflix called "A Man on the Inside" and fell in love with it. I thought about writing a review of it and then just let that thought fall away. It's funny, entertaining, a hint of mystery, heartwarming, sad and hopeful...and for people in the senior living industry, there are bits and jokes and scenes that are wonderful because we get it. One that had me right away was the Chef telling the Administrator he needed more salt and pepper shakers. She asked him how many he was missing, and he says "40." I have lived this. People with dementia love to boost things.

  The dementia aspect of the show hit me too. I see it every day and before that we dealt with it with my in-laws both going through their progression of dementia. While seeing in a show, had me relive uncomfortable things, it was also nice to see a show that was speaking for the people dealing with the disease as well as the impact it has on their families. 

  But what drove me to write this tonight was a death we had in our community this week. It was a resident everyone loved. Some of our staff knew him for a long time. He was great guy. It was unexpected, sudden, shocking. It felt like a kick in the chest to the whole community. In Senior living you know the end will happen. You accept this part of the job. But with most of our losses, we see it approaching and are prepared for it. This one there was no warning, and it hurt....

  This takes me back to "A Man on the Inside." This very moment is shown in the series. And the pain, and shock, and sadness, and the need to push on, while choking back the frustration & sadness is portrayed perfectly by Stephanie Beatriz, who plays Didi, the Community Administrator. Her character greatly represents those of us that work in senior living. The show isn't about us, so the Chef, Nurses, Aides and Housekeepers are just small characters here and there. Didi is there to give a glimpse of what we all feel and go through. Stephanie Beatriz does it perfectly. 

  I highly recommend the show and can't wait for what comes in season two. Oh, Ted Danson is great in it as well. The guy still does comedy so well. 

Check it out.

 

A Great Loss

Normally, when celebrity dies I may be saddened but it doesn't impact me much...People die...When the great chef Charlie Trotter died, I was greatly saddened...When a celebrity commits suicide, well, for a long time, I shit on them...I understand people have demons, and deal with shit like depression...I do as well, but I have a hard time accepting people who have all the ability and wealth to get the help they need...But this blog isn't about that...It's about the loss of a culinary icon...

Up until 3 years ago, I spent my entire working life in the restaurant business...For a lot of that time, I didn't brag about what I did...I actually felt uncomfortable talking about it...Many people look down on the service industry...Yeah, they want people to wait on them and cook for them and serve them, but they don't really want to know you...Those people are fucking assholes!

I don't even know what my parents thought of my career path...Once they realized I was good at it, I think they were fine with it, but few parents out there are ever saying, 'God I hope my kid grows up to work 70 hour weeks for shit pay, high blood pressure and a drinking problem!'

Then one day I was in a Borders Book Store...Remember those places? I saw Anthony Bourdain's "Kitchen Confidential"....I bought and had read it twice in a week...It's the book I wanted to write but didn't have nearly the experience to do...It was brutally honest and talked about the shit that's never talked about when it comes to the restaurant business...He was one us...Started at the bottom and worked his way up...

The Food Network had been around awhile but it was bullshit...Emeril was a hack that made people think all chefs had or needed a catch phrase...Fuck all That! (that was ours at the Fish House)...Rachel Ray never was and never will be a chef...She was a made for TV salesperson...But Bourdain opened people's eyes to the grind...

Suddenly I felt I could hold my high about what I did for a living...As his popularity grew, it opened many more doors for other real chefs, and opened many more eyes of the public about our industry...His show "No Reservations" took people all over as he taught us about food and cultures so many of us never experienced...and many would be too afraid to try...And when he went to big cities like Boston, he wasn't taking us to big name places and big name chefs...He showed us the underbelly of the culinary scene...Hard working, hard living, chefs taking shit to the next level and not getting the fanfare and not even seeking it...He delved into the underground music scenes, and took us to hidden gems...

Then with his CNN show "Parts Unknown" he took that same format to the next level...Exploring cultures, religions, history and yes, food, from all over the world...He shared the stories of legendary people, that we never knew of...Little tidbits of history they don't teach in school...And the food and drinks...So much we never knew about...so much we want to try now...And one of the greatest things he did.....He championed the little guy...The Hungarian film editor...The no name indie musician...The Detroit chef, in a dead part of town, starting a public garden and making amazing, yet affordable cuisine, hoping to be a small part of turning things around.

Anthony Bourdain was great chef, who started in the dish-pit...If he never wrote great books and did great TV shows, he still would have been a great chef that achieved more than so many of us dream of...But he took his culinary knowledge and his easy way with people, and was able to teach us so much more, about food and culture and humanity...

I don't know what drove him to take his own life and I am greatly saddened by it...I feel he had so much more to tell us and teach us...Maybe I'm just selfish because someone I looked up to is gone...