"A Man on the Inside" and Working in Senior Living

 

   For the last two years I've been working as the Culinary Services Director at an Assisted Living community. I enjoy my work, love my team and have great fondness for our residents. While my years in the restaurant business helped me prepare for this, as well as my time working in a hospital kitchen and running a coffee shop/cafe, it's a very different animal. My community treats our mealtimes like a restaurant, but it's not exactly like that...It's not a hospital assembly line, but you're intensely aware of dietary needs and restrictions. It's not glamorous and not going to land you on The Food Network, but I'm proud of it. I feel good about myself at the end of the day. 

  A month ago, I binge watched a new series on Netflix called "A Man on the Inside" and fell in love with it. I thought about writing a review of it and then just let that thought fall away. It's funny, entertaining, a hint of mystery, heartwarming, sad and hopeful...and for people in the senior living industry, there are bits and jokes and scenes that are wonderful because we get it. One that had me right away was the Chef telling the Administrator he needed more salt and pepper shakers. She asked him how many he was missing, and he says "40." I have lived this. People with dementia love to boost things.

  The dementia aspect of the show hit me too. I see it every day and before that we dealt with it with my in-laws both going through their progression of dementia. While seeing in a show, had me relive uncomfortable things, it was also nice to see a show that was speaking for the people dealing with the disease as well as the impact it has on their families. 

  But what drove me to write this tonight was a death we had in our community this week. It was a resident everyone loved. Some of our staff knew him for a long time. He was great guy. It was unexpected, sudden, shocking. It felt like a kick in the chest to the whole community. In Senior living you know the end will happen. You accept this part of the job. But with most of our losses, we see it approaching and are prepared for it. This one there was no warning, and it hurt....

  This takes me back to "A Man on the Inside." This very moment is shown in the series. And the pain, and shock, and sadness, and the need to push on, while choking back the frustration & sadness is portrayed perfectly by Stephanie Beatriz, who plays Didi, the Community Administrator. Her character greatly represents those of us that work in senior living. The show isn't about us, so the Chef, Nurses, Aides and Housekeepers are just small characters here and there. Didi is there to give a glimpse of what we all feel and go through. Stephanie Beatriz does it perfectly. 

  I highly recommend the show and can't wait for what comes in season two. Oh, Ted Danson is great in it as well. The guy still does comedy so well. 

Check it out.

 

Monday Moaning 3-13-23 (Life Changes)

         

 

I haven't posted in a long time. As a matter of fact, back in December I realized I hadn't posted anything for all of 2022. That depressed me. I loved writing on my blog. I know I walked away from it for awhile because I was always ranting about politics. I still rant about politics but I have tried to limit how much I let it into my life. The level of ignorance and hate was getting to me. It should get to you, but if I'm posting on my blog and sharing it through my social media, most of those people it's going to hit know where I stand, and plenty have muted me or unfollowed me because they disagree or are sick of hearing me be right!

There was also something else going on that took up most of my time.

For the last couple years I have been working at a local coffee shop. Running the kitchen, learning the business, learning how to roast coffee and enjoying it. I fell in love with the place. When I started there, I was doubting myself and my career path and lacking confidence. Working there got me my confidence back. I was enjoying cooking and creating again. Eventually I took on more managerial duties including running the social media. In January I took over as the General Manager as well as being the Chef. 

Right off the bat I made some minor changes that made the place more profitable. Sales are up 75%. The owner is very hands off and trusted me to do what was best for the business. Some of this trust was based on what she saw from me as well as my history in the restaurant business. Also, she was looking to retire and was in talks to sell my wife and I the shop. We were really excited about this. I had always wanted to have my own business of some form...

But the last few months taught me something. I don't want to own a business. I have often let my job take too much hold of my life and this job was consuming my life. I was working seven days a week, with no benefits, no vacation time and only getting paid for five days a week. Even if I had a day off I was worried about the shop. I was getting texts or calls asking questions or to come in. I was responding and still updating social media. I was still checking the numbers on an app. When my wife and I started crunching the numbers, what profit is there at the end of each month, It all has to go back into the business for at least the first five if not ten years, to build a cushion for maintenance, cosmetic changes and because we would want to pay the staff what they are worth and get benefits for the staff. Two things not offered by the current owner. It has been all consuming and I'm not happy. This is not the life I want to live...It's not a life at all.

I want to be able to go to work, do my job and do it well, then clock out and not worry the rest of the day and night about work. I started quietly looking for jobs, did some interviews and found one that really felt good. I had three interviews and then was offered the position. I accepted. I will be the Culinary Services Director at a local Retirement/Assisted Living Community, that is owned by a family that has numerous facilities in the U.S. and has been doing this for over 20 years. It's a five day work week, I write my own schedule and get benefits and PTO...and my life back.

This week will be my last at the coffee shop. I am doing my best to set them up with my recipes that have become staples there, as well as stocking them up on the soups, dressings and syrups I make. I care about many of the people there, staff and customers, and want the place to continue on it's upward trajectory. 

Once I am officially gone, I'll probably write a post about the Erie coffee shop scene which drives me nuts. There is another shop that gets all the publicity while always being empty and making tiktok's trashing customers and talking about how slow they are. Also in this town, you only get awards, if you pay for the award, so some other places win awards simply because we wouldn't pay for an award. The shop I've been at is the only one that roasts it's own coffee, the rest all buy theirs from one of two larger roasteries. But I've learned most people don't really taste coffee. Yeah, I've become a coffee snob.

I hope to get back to writing somewhat regularly as I have missed this outlet.

Have a week!

A Great Loss

Normally, when celebrity dies I may be saddened but it doesn't impact me much...People die...When the great chef Charlie Trotter died, I was greatly saddened...When a celebrity commits suicide, well, for a long time, I shit on them...I understand people have demons, and deal with shit like depression...I do as well, but I have a hard time accepting people who have all the ability and wealth to get the help they need...But this blog isn't about that...It's about the loss of a culinary icon...

Up until 3 years ago, I spent my entire working life in the restaurant business...For a lot of that time, I didn't brag about what I did...I actually felt uncomfortable talking about it...Many people look down on the service industry...Yeah, they want people to wait on them and cook for them and serve them, but they don't really want to know you...Those people are fucking assholes!

I don't even know what my parents thought of my career path...Once they realized I was good at it, I think they were fine with it, but few parents out there are ever saying, 'God I hope my kid grows up to work 70 hour weeks for shit pay, high blood pressure and a drinking problem!'

Then one day I was in a Borders Book Store...Remember those places? I saw Anthony Bourdain's "Kitchen Confidential"....I bought and had read it twice in a week...It's the book I wanted to write but didn't have nearly the experience to do...It was brutally honest and talked about the shit that's never talked about when it comes to the restaurant business...He was one us...Started at the bottom and worked his way up...

The Food Network had been around awhile but it was bullshit...Emeril was a hack that made people think all chefs had or needed a catch phrase...Fuck all That! (that was ours at the Fish House)...Rachel Ray never was and never will be a chef...She was a made for TV salesperson...But Bourdain opened people's eyes to the grind...

Suddenly I felt I could hold my high about what I did for a living...As his popularity grew, it opened many more doors for other real chefs, and opened many more eyes of the public about our industry...His show "No Reservations" took people all over as he taught us about food and cultures so many of us never experienced...and many would be too afraid to try...And when he went to big cities like Boston, he wasn't taking us to big name places and big name chefs...He showed us the underbelly of the culinary scene...Hard working, hard living, chefs taking shit to the next level and not getting the fanfare and not even seeking it...He delved into the underground music scenes, and took us to hidden gems...

Then with his CNN show "Parts Unknown" he took that same format to the next level...Exploring cultures, religions, history and yes, food, from all over the world...He shared the stories of legendary people, that we never knew of...Little tidbits of history they don't teach in school...And the food and drinks...So much we never knew about...so much we want to try now...And one of the greatest things he did.....He championed the little guy...The Hungarian film editor...The no name indie musician...The Detroit chef, in a dead part of town, starting a public garden and making amazing, yet affordable cuisine, hoping to be a small part of turning things around.

Anthony Bourdain was great chef, who started in the dish-pit...If he never wrote great books and did great TV shows, he still would have been a great chef that achieved more than so many of us dream of...But he took his culinary knowledge and his easy way with people, and was able to teach us so much more, about food and culture and humanity...

I don't know what drove him to take his own life and I am greatly saddened by it...I feel he had so much more to tell us and teach us...Maybe I'm just selfish because someone I looked up to is gone...

Monday Moaning

What's been cooking Gabbers?

Yes, I've been missing in action...Life has been hectic...Working 3rd shift has been a major adjustment, and combining that with helping out with my in-laws, and being a on-hands dad/Mr. Mom, my time is at a premium...But has just been that...I have very little interest at all in sports these days...I watch Hockey as much as I can, but otherwise I have tuned out the day to day bullshit of the sports world...

I have no itch...No desire to write...Nothing pushing me to rant and rave like I have been since 2007....Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of shit that is pissing me off...Like all these dolts that are running for President, and the frightening fact that people are so frustrated/stupid, that Donald Trump has a shot...The party of Lincoln and Eisenhower is a fucking mess...Don't get me wrong...I'm no fan of the Dems' front-runner, Mrs. Clinton....I don't trust her a bit...

The worst part is, it's only February...We got a long road of all this bullshit ahead...

The other things on my mind/in my life are not really stuff I'm willing to write about...I've always kept my posts open and honest but sometimes you have to think about other people and even have a personal line as well...

So, for now I will be taking a leave of absence from YouGabSports...It is nothing personal with any of our membership or my fellow owners...I just have no passion for it, and often don't have the time...I have put my heart and soul into this site for years, and it a truly special place for us old Sporting News Misfits...I hope to be able to recharge and find the passion again...Hopefully sooner than later...

I will leave you with this bit of sports...Many were pissed when NHL enforcer John Scott won the fan voting for the NHL All-Star Game...Many felt it was a joke...And it seemed like it started out that way...But the players embraced it, knowing how important Scott has been to his teams over the years...Fans embraced it as well, if you saw any of the All-Star coverage, you now what I mean...Scott is part of a dying breed in the NHL, and the NHL bosses made it clear they want that breed to die...They along with his team, the Coyotes asked him to back out...When the swell to keep him in grew, he was traded to Montreal who immediately sent him to the minors...It seemed like a clear power move to keep him out of the game...He refused as more support for him poured in, and he stuck it to the NHL, as his team won the new silly format, and he had two goals...Scott then was voted the MVP, and the NHL brass acted as if they were so happy by the outcome they tried so hard squash...

This morning I read a great piece...It was written by John Scott...Explaining the path his hockey career took and why...As well as what the NHL did and said to him to try and fuck up his moment in the spotlight...It's a really good READ...

I think this summed up how players feel about Scott...

That's it for me folks...


Have a week!

Thug Kitchen My Ass!

Yep, there's a cookbook, and blog out there called "Thug Kitchen." and these are just a couple examples from it...

Really!?!

I'm sorry, but these people are trying way to hard....But wait, news has broke, and people are getting very upset...These are the writers of "Thug Kitche!"

Holy shit!  They're WHITE! 

Ummm, yeah, that was kind of obvious...1. They think saying Fuck, shit, ass, bitch,  and goddamn somehow qualifies you as sounding "thug"....Clearly they are jumping on the "thug" meaning black bandwagon...I'm not sure when this happened, but it did...People say "thug" or "urban" because they are afraid to say black, or something worse...they think they can slip past any racial discussion by saying these words...2.  I've gone through a number of their shitty recipes, and the "thugs" I know make better shit...And how the fuck are you gonna go this route and not drop a bomb-ass fried chicken with watermelon salad recipe!  (Boom, that's how you slip in some sweet stereotypical, racist shit!)

These are two of the whitest people I've seen, and my wife and I are pretty fucking pasty! And it's clear how white they are by their recipes, and what they say, in hopes to be considered "thug"...Have either of these two done time...I'm not talking holding sell for public intoxication, or a DUI...I'm talking time...Possession with intent...Gun chargers...Assault...B&E...Because that would get people thinking "thug," not saying fuck a lot...I'm going out on a limb and saying NO!

I've worked with people who would be considered thugs...By society, and some by themselves...These two white dopes have no idea what a "thug" is, and I just resorting to a classic business strategy...Take something from the black community, or that sounds black, and make money off of it...Just ask Led Zeppelin...Jimmy Paige made his bones ripping off black blues musicians and not crediting them...Go look at how many Elvis hits were actually written by black men...Rap was getting big, Aerosmith got in bed with Run DMC, which brought the seemingly dead rock band back to life...It wasn't white kids in the suburbs that started sagging pants...They ripped that from what they were seeing on Yo! MTV Raps...

Now we have "Thug Kitchen" from two white people who probably never worked in a real kitchen, never personally knew a "thug," and would shit their pants if they did...

Fuck you Matt Holloway and Michelle Davis!  Fuck you in the ass with a big "thug" dick!


The Beeze.