I have to be honest...I'm hung over, and I've been dealing with a slight case of writer's block...I've started 4 posts, but been unhappy with them all...So they have been sh!t canned...There hasn't been anything p!ssing me off lately, like Oprah...Football season is basically done...You know, except for the "Super Bowl" of course...The NHL season is on their All-Star break....Watch the skills competition tonight...Skip the All-Star game on Sunday...Like most All-Star games, it's crap...Oh and the stupid fans vote in the wrong players....Any who...You may be asking yourself what's with the title...Well gang the Beeze has a PhD in sh!t talkin' and bullsh!ttin'....So I thought I would put these skills to use...So I'm going to start taking questions from readers...Leave your questions in the comments section, and I will post my advice/answers....
I have recently been asked a few questions, and I thought I would share them with you, along with my answers...
The first question comes from Tim in Cleveland..."Why won't my wife give me a BLUMPY?"
First for those who don't know...A BLUMPY is when a women...or man gives you a blow job while you're taking a crap....Well Tim, you sick f**k, Your wife probably won't give you a BLUMPY because, because she has self-respect...Oh and because it's gross...Yes I know the combination of getting your knob slobbed, and dropping a deuce at the same time feels great, but only for you...That's the type of thing hookers do...good hookers...not your wife.
The next question is from a JURK...http://turkthejurk.blogspot.com/
"Why do My co-workers give me sh!t about being such a huge Radiohead fan?"
Well Jurk, it's because even though Radiohead is talented, many people are tools and just want to hear hits...They want another "Creep"...The other reason is that those cats from Radiohead seem like a bunch of fruits, and even though the people you work with play grab-a$$, and the "penis showing game" they are still somehow homophobic.
I hope this was helpful...Feel free to ask the Beeze your questions...T
Take it easy, the Beeze.
10 comments:
Here's one for you Beeze...if you could have picked any coach in the world to coach your beloved Cleveland Browns who would you pick and why???
Blumpy -- LMAO!!! That's priceless!
This is a tough question for the doctor...I know some folks in Cleveland won't like this, but I would take the Hoodie...Bill is the man...If the Pats would have been able to squeek in the playoffs they would have caused a little trouble...Say what you want about Bill...Yeah he's a d!ck, but he wins...
On a side note...I wish the Bucs would have fired Gruden sooner...I would have loved a shot at him...But I'll give Mangini a chance...He seems focused, and has a plan...something that has been lacking here.
Thanks for the question, and for stopping by.
TCP, don't ever ask your wife for one...This I have learned.
LOL! This is classic BEEZE stuff right here! Blumpy? I've never heard that one before!
Good stuff as always buddy.
Blumpy is funny. Gross, but funny.
another question: why can't i get a blumpy while listening to radiohead? while taking the lord's name in vain?
You're hillarious Jurk...If you can get a blumpy, you can take the lords name in vain...But if you're listening to Radiohead...Then it's most likely a dudes head in your lap....Ha!!!
Jurk...LMFAO!!!
Dear Dr. Beeze,
What makes you think I won't cut you?
Sincerely,
Jurk
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